Pondering The Archers: hayley tucker

Matt sooks up to Joyce

Matt’s round at Joyce’s, allegedly to make sure that her flat is exactly the way she wants it.

It has new central heating, draft proof windows and a new hallway carpet.

The kitchen has a special non slip flooring, which Joyce thinks us very smart.

All sorted?

Nope.

Joyce also wants grab rails. And to force on Matt exactly what he did to her and Arthur.

[Joyce] “Well, it’s just a shame it’s all come too late for Arthur … and I have to say Mr Crawford … perhaps if you’d gone to so much trouble keeping this place up to scratch, perhaps my Arthur could have enjoyed it too. Still, we can’t turn the clock back, more’s the pity.”

Matt actually sounded ashamed …

The Community Orchard event

Sounds very busy. Lots of screaming kids …

The kids are making streamers and their lanterns.

Vicky kisses Joe under the mistletoe (I kid you not!)

And there are tree fairies.

(in reality, just kids from the local dancing school. Tree fairies sound better)

Vicky worries the kids might be cold.

[Vicky] “In those costumes …”

[Hayley] “It’s quite mild today, As long as they keep moving, they’ll be alright.”

The Grundys also kept moving – they sold their last turkey!

Deck the Halls starts tomorrow

It’s Christmas!

George doesn’t know he’s moving

Ed and Emma haven’t told him.

Best do so, sharpish. Before Will does. Adding his own spin.

Vicky and Mike have been practising breathing

Before they go to bed.

We just don’t need to be told any further details …

Friday, 30 November 2012

Jazzer hears about Fallon and Rhys: Thurs 29.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 29th November 2012

The Brilliant Ideas meeting
The Odd Couple, part deux
Rhys better watch out for Jazzer

The Brilliant Ideas meeting

Is Lewis’ way of getting more ideas from lower Loxley, by involving all of the staff. They can “drift in and out” as work allows.

Bert’s idea is TV. He reckons that as “life in big country houses is popular” , they should take advantage and get Lower Loxley on there too.

Imagine that … it’d be car crash viewing if Elizabeth was ‘on one’.

Hayley’s idea is a Lower Loxley passport. So, folks buy a passport each year, and have an “ongoing connection” with Lower Loxley.

[Lewis] “Stakeholders, is that what they call it these days.”

With a passport, the ‘stakeholders’ will get into Lower Loxley for free, s will come back more often. And spend their money more often in the tea room and shop.

[Lewis] “I think it sound very positive … building up long term relationships with people.”

[Hayley] “Becoming friends.”

That’s a lovely way to put trying to get more money out of the same people …

Bert has a second brainwave. Following on from his theme of big houses now being popular, he thinks they should research the lives of people who have lived both up and downstairs at Lower Loxley, then make an exhibition out of it.

So, nothing earth shattering, but at least they’re all thinking and involved.

And they all have jobs.

The Odd Couple, part deux

It used to be Jazzer and Harry – but Jim and Jazzer are Ambridge’s new odd couple.

They really do seem to be enjoying each other’s company.

Jim’s struggling for a new subject to interview for his Borchester Life article.

Jazzer reckons … Jazzer!

[Jazzer] “One of these days I’m going to be picked up by the style mags.”

[Jim] “Jazzer, I do wish you wear your overalls back home.”

[Jazzer] “Bit pungent are they?”

[Jim] “Just a touch”

Ignoring Jazzer’s suggestion, Jim is looking up other potentially ‘interesting’ Borchester residents.

He’s found one who is an ex-Brigadier, who also travelled in the Far East.

[Jazzer] “Beyond Felpersham, you mean?”

The chap also collects stuff.

[Jazzer] “Anybody with any sort of collection … the guy’s bound to be boring.”

So who to interview?

[Jazzer] “Shall I tell you the answer to most of life’s intractable problems … head for the nearest bar. There’s something about having a glass in your hand that frees up the creative juices.”

When they’re sat with glass in hand, Jazzer asks Jim to interview Tom.

[Jazzer] “It wouldnae half improve my life if you could dae the piece on Tom Archer … it doesnae stop him lobbying me!”

Bert comes in, and reckons he’d be perfect.

[Bert] “I get a bit about these days … I’ve had some of my poems published in Evesham.”

Bert also suggests Ifty. He’s a teacher, mathematician. Sportsman. And isn’t from Ambridge.

[Jim] “An also suggests aesthete to boot!”

[Bert] “You what?”

So, it would seem Ifty it is.

Rhys better watch out for Jazzer

Bert, with his usual tact, mentions Rhys and Fallon to Jazzer.

[Bert] “Must have come as quite a blow, eh Jazzer?”

Jazzer reckons he’s fine about it.

[Hayley] “You don’t look it. Staring miserably into your drink.”

[Jazzer] “It’s just Fallon wae Rhys, you know …”

[Hayley] “You’re mates. You're one of the good guys.”

[Jazzer] “He better treat her right, that’s all. Or he’ll be answering to me.”

Rhys finally asks Fallon out: The Archers Sun 18.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Sunday 18th November 2012

Cows bulling thrills Ruth
Daniel had a hangover
Since when was Hayley a tree decorating expert?
Hayley has no experience with adults
Fallon’s plans for Jaxx involve board games
The barn shall be rebuilt!
Rhys makes a play for Fallon

Cows bulling thrills Ruth

[Ruth] “Are you excited?”

[David] “I’m not bulling, Ruth.”

[Ruth] “Here we are at the start of our new system.”

So, Brookfield is officially starting its new system. Which is fraught in itself when it comes to feeding and the like. But I don’t suppose they had any other choice – it was that or give up the cows.

[David] “Doesn’t look like any of these are ready for your inseminator charms.”

Ew!

Daniel had a hangover

Quite right too after one’s own 18th birthday. Seems Daniel didn’t see much of Saturday at all.

Since when was Hayley a tree decorating expert?

Jim reckons she is.

[Jim] “I can’t think of anyone better qualified to talk about craft for young children.”

So, alongside giving Jim advice about decorating trees, Hayley also suggests they get the kids to bring jam jars so that they can decorate them as lanterns.

Sounds bonny.

Hayley has no experience with adults
(what’s Roy then?)

She’s worried about the consultant making mention of Lower Loxley needing to have closer links with the local College, running adult education courses and the like.

Hayley’s only got experience with young kids. She thinks they’ll get rid of her and someone with the experience.

But, Hayley doesn’t want to Elizabeth in case she puts the idea in her head (if she’s not thinking like that in the first place). Roy offers to have a “subtle” word.

[Hayley] “We can’t afford to lose my job.”

What a worry.

It’ll get as grim as Ed and Emma’s.

Fallon’s plans for Jaxx involve board games

Fallon’s worried Jaxx is quite quiet today. She’s thinking of how to get more punters in.

She reckons a Sunday roast and board games will get them in, and staying for longer.

[Fallon] “A bit like going round your gran’s for tea. Kind of home from home atmosphere.”

[Rhys] “Yeah, but without the unspoken tension of causal racism …”

[Fallon] “What sort of home did you come from?”

(quite an average one, I’d reckon)

She’ll also get a reggae DJ in.

[Fallon] “Sociable Sunday. Heal your hangover.”

[Rhys] “You’re an absolute natural, aren’t you?”

And Rhys also reckons it is all stuff she’d never be able to do at The Bull.

[Fallon] “It was the right move. Work wise, anyway.”

Missing Rhys, Fallon is.

The barn shall be rebuilt!

David’s heard from the insurers, and they can get cracking on building the barn again.

Rhys makes a play for Fallon

[Rhys] “It’s my night off. I heard a rumour you had drink on sale.”

Rhys is in at Jaxx. Allegedly to have a drink, but more likely to see Fallon.

Rhys tells Jim that it’s better to be having a busman’s night off than collect stamps (which he doesn’t do anyway).

But he’s really there to see Fallon.

He asks her if she has a night off this week.

[Rhys] “Do you think, I mean you’ve probably got something planned, if not maybe you’d like to go for a drink. Or meal. Or cinema. Anything you want really.”

[Fallon] “Rhys, are you suggesting a date?”

[Rhys] “I am. Say yes, only if you want to.”

[Fallon] “I do want to. Yes.”

Hurrah!

At last!!!

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Fallon to leave The Bull: Tues 23.10.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 23rd October 2012

Fallon’s the new Manager of jazz
Brenda’s life just gets worse
When Fallon Met Rhys
Christmas pudding shapes sausages
A jobless Christmas?

Fallon’s the new Manager of jazz

Despite being rather reserved during the interview, it seems Don was impressed by Fallon’s “ideas, warmth and charm”.

She’s got the job, on a three month trial.

[Rhys] “You are perfect for the job. It’ll be great.”

Rhys didn’t sound too enthusiastic, neither did Fallon, about not working together.

Aw, they’re going to miss each other.

Brenda’s life just gets worse

Engaged to Tom. Works for Matt (and Lilian – who hates Busty Brenda) and now she has to suffer James also being at the Dower House.

[Brenda] “It’s going to be total misery.”

When Fallon Met Rhys

[Tom] “I just don’t get that, how opposites attract thing.”

Rhys is talking about the part he’s play to Fallon’s in (the extract of) Mucho Ado. Brenda reckons is a When Harry Met Sally type of scenario.

Hmmm.

How long do we think Fallon and Rhys are going to draw this out.

Christmas pudding shapes sausages

That does indeed sounds horrid.

[Brenda] “Me and Roy still have nightmares about eating them.”

Tom’s trying to think of a novelty food items for Christmas. Something a bit more exciting than chipolatas.

A jobless Christmas?

The consultant’s at Lower Loxley draws.

Hayley’s terrified.

[Hayley] “Everyone feels like he’s watching their every little move … anyone could be in for the chop.”

And if it’s her and Roy … they’ll need to go round Ed and Emma’s to find out how to make a loaf of bread feed four morning, noon and night.

Friday, 5 October 2012

Slow day ahoy: Thurs 04.10.12

The Archers Thursday 4th October 2012

Haven’t had one of these for a while
Elizabeth and Roy talk conferences
Fallon was feeling low
Mike was feeling chirpy
Vicky was feeling low
Bert rhymed Pargetter with Sat on a Spur
Hayley’s worried about the consultant
Arthur used to be a bus driver, and had a dodgy girlfriend

Haven’t had one of these for a while

I took a mere 15 lines of notes from today’s eavesdropping episodes.

Slow ….

Elizabeth and Roy talk conferences

Um … how riveting!

Fallon was feeling low

Poor Fallon.

Mike was feeling chirpy

Hurrah for Mike!

Vicky was feeling low

Poor Vicky.

Bert rhymed Pargetter with Sat on a Spur

Which I would have liked to hear.

But we didn’t.

It was only told to use third hand.

Hayley’s worried about the consultant

She’s spotted it could mean cost cutting … less jobs … which is a worry, with both her and Roy working at Lower Loxley.

Arthur used to be a bus driver, and had a dodgy girlfriend

Lilian’s round seeing Arthur. They had a long chat over coffee and cake.

Seems Arthur used to drive buses.

And stepped out with a rather dubious girlfriend called Susan before he met Joyce.

[Arthur] “And like I fool I believe her … two days later it started again,. She even smiled at me when I caught her dipping into me wallet … and still I didn’t finish with her, she was like a drug …It’s all ancient history. It won’t mean nothing to you, hearing about something like that.”

Ah – but Lilian had been listening to every word.

Sounded very familiar indeed.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Shula has a Funday … the Tuckers not so: Sun 26.08.12

The Archers Sunday 26th August 2012

The lady ain’t for gardening
Shula’s Funday
Still laughing at the Grundys
Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines
Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

The lady ain’t for gardening
Mike’s been flicking through the Flower & Produce Show schedule. He wondered aloud to Vicky about whether she’s going to enter anything, considering she enjoyed it so much last year.

(*sigh* Mike seems to have lost all his tact)

[Vicky] “It hasn’t even crossed my mind, and I certainly amn’t going to be doing any gardening.”

Shula’s Funday

Was, obviously, horse related.

Elizabeth and the Twins certainly had a grand time.

They both took part in the racing games.

[Freddie] “I like the way the fences go higher every round.”

Abbie and Phoebe were also there, though Roy is cautious about Abbie seeming to get more and more Roy into horses. That would be too expensive a hobby.

Still laughing at the Grundys

[Roy] “And I can assure you it is pork, not wild boar … I hear the Grundy’s are overdosing on it a bit, eating it every meal.”

[Mike] “Oh yeah, you don’t want to get Joe Grundy on the results, I can tell you that.”

Ew!

Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines

During Sunday lunch, Roy and Hayley are caught between Mike and Vicky

Vicky wants to start buying more baby stuff.

[Mike] “Oh Vicky, surely not yet!”

Mike claims he just meant that they have months and months to go, but what he really meant was they don’t know the results of the tests yet … so they don’t know what their decision would be ‘if’ … and that means there’s no point having baby clothes. Yet.

Vicky then starts talking about clearing out their spare room (which is would seem Mike sees as his study, where he goes to stew). She seems to suggest Mike’s diary magazines are just rubbish …

[Mike] “Why do you have to go at it like a bull at a gate?”

[Hayley, sounding very uncomfortable] “It’s the nesting instinct …Forces of nature, they can be difficult to deal with.”

After Vicky and Mike leave (obviously to continue their argument, finally in private)

[Hayley] “Wasn’t exactly a perfect Sunday dinner, was it?”

[Roy] “It was a bit …”

[Hayley] “Awkward.”

[Roy] “A baby, it’s a huge think to come to terms with, especially at their age of life, especially dad …”

Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
Sounded like it.

Almost as if Elizabeth also thinks Lilly is better …

At Sheila’s Funday:

[Lilly] “Freddie’s a natural.”

[Elizabeth] “Very generous of you to say so.”

Eh?

What an odd way to talk to a child.

But then again, it is Elizabeth.

I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

Shula still has to go over to Reg and Bunty’s house every week. Bunty is better, but they still need help.

[Shula] “And I can’t ask Alistair to do anything, my first husband’s parents.”

Well, I don’t see why not.

It’s not as if Mark is around to be an alternative to Alistair for Shula.

Alistair seems to cope with Mark and Shula’s son in his life quite nicely.

Anyhoo – Shula wants Reg and Bunty to move into somewhere more “appropriate”.

[Shula] “They get so defensive. It’s like I’m farming them out to a home.”

[Elizabeth] “It makes me realise how lucky we were with Julia.”

Which, Elizabeth says herself, is something she never thought she’d say outloud!

As much work as Julia was, at least she was independent and healthy. Until she died.

Reg and Bunty, on the other hand, can only get worse until a solution is found.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

They may laugh, but Vicky is indeed pregnant: Tues 07.08.12

The Archers Tuesday 7th August 2012

Phoebe’s second welcome home
Is Jennifer starting to choose Adam?
Has Roy ever forgiven Kate?
You can’t keep a Vicky silent
Reaction to Baby Tucker
They could start an older mum’s club

Phoebe’s second welcome home

After Phoebe’s first coming party was a bit of a damp squib (as Phoebe was upset, because of Kate), everyone’s organised a second party (a BBQ this time) round at Roy and Hayley’s.

It meant Vicky, Mike, Jennifer and Brian would also be round (also Tom and Brenda, though they never actually showed). Perfect timing for Vicky …

I also learned Phoebe’s rather marvellous trick on how to get a BBQ going with a washing up liquid bottle. Use an empty one, and squeeze it at the BBQ to get a flame going. Clever!

Is Jennifer starting to choose Adam?

[Brian] “Adam’s not going to leave, he’s just throwing his toys out of the pram.”

[Jennifer, furious] “This isn’t a game to him Brian, this is about what he wants to do with his life!”

[Brian] “Fine then, let him go off and run a kibbutz for a year or two.”

Jennifer tells Brian to tell Adam (!) that he wants him to stay.

I’d do what I was told, if I was Brian. Never get between a mother and her child.

Later on, at Phoebe’s party, Brian starts to tell Mike that Adam’s being silly. Jennifer hears him, and tells him:

[Jennifer] “Look, just be quiet and eat your hot dog.”

Has Roy ever forgiven Kate?

Phoebe is still a bit sad about Kate. Roy tries to persuade her not to let good times be spoilt by bad. And:

[Roy] “Kate us very, very sorry. Sometimes you just have to forgive and forget. And that’s me saying that!”

Really?

When did Roy forgive Kate?

You can’t keep a Vicky silent

When Vicky and Mike arrive at the BBQ, Vicky makes sure Roy notices she’s not drinking. Doctor’s orders. Detox (Mike interjected).

[Vicky] “Oh Mike, are you sure we can’t tell them? I’m just bursting!”

[Mike] “It’s Phoebe’s party. Don’t spoilt it. We’ll tell them soon enough.”

But Vicky’s not listening. As she’s sitting down with the ladies:

[Vicky] “Oh I could eat enough for two people!”

That prompts Jennifer to saw that Vicky looks like she has a glow …

[Vicky] “Oh, I wish I could tell you my secret!”

The very unsubtle hints keep coming. How Jennifer must feel that Ruairi, children in general, keeps one young. Hayley offers Abbie. Vicky says she won’t need her …

[Phoebe] “Why, you’re not pregnant. Are you granny Vicky?”

All the ladies have a grand chortle at the very thought!

[Jennifer] “Pregnant. Now that really would be a secret!”

Vicky runs over to Mike to say that everyone’s guessed, so they should announce it anyway.

[\Vicky] “Female intuition perhaps.”

So, very reluctantly, agrees.

[Vicky] “Today, we’re not only welcoming Phoebe back home. There’s also going to be another addition to the family. Me and Mike are having a baby!”

Brian nearly choked on his aforementioned hot dog.

[Roy] “But how?”

[Vicky] “What do you mean how, the usual way!”

[Jennifer] “Oh my lord!”

Jennifer noticed the BBQ was on fire …

Reaction to Baby Tucker

[Vicky] “What do you reckon eh, that’s your little aunt or uncle?”

[Phoebe] “How weird is that. I was only joking when I asked.”

[Mike] “Joking!”

(Vicky duped him onto the announcement)

[Mike] “I didn't mean you to find out this way. Vicky, she doesn’t always understand you might have mixed feelings … what with your mum … I thought you might feel like I was leaving her behind, starting a new family.”

[Roy] “No. Look. I’m sorry if I seem a bit, um, it’s just a lot to take in. But if you and Vicky are happy, then so am I … well, you didn’t want a quiet retirement anyway, did you?”

(Roy – sounding not so happy)

[Jennifer] “More like a rabbit in headlights. Do think Vicky forced him?”

[Brian] “I don’t suspect she pinned him down!”

Jennifer also seems to be relishing the village gossip to follow …

They could start an older mum’s club

[Vicky to Jennifer] “Looks like we’re both in the same boat. You’ll have to give me some tips about how to be an older parent … if you can manage at your age, I’m sure we could!”

Cheeky!

Though I think by that point Jennifer was too stunned (or drunk!) to notice the insult.

Adam has a one night stand: Sun 05.08.12

The Archers Sunday 5th August 2012

Where’s Adam?
Adam slept with Pavel
Phoebe wanted to collect the eggs
Adam lies to Ian
Kate feels shame!

Where’s Adam?

Adam still isn’t home. He didn’t come back at all last night.

He’s not at work either.

And he’s not answering his mobile.

Ian’s been leaving messages:

[Ian] “Adam, please don’t have done anything stupid.”

Well, Adam was doing something stupid …

Adam slept with Pavel

[Pavel] “Adam, are you going to answer that?”

[Adam] “No, I’ll deal with it later. Have you finished in the bathroom?”

[Pavel] “Why do you rush, the room is still ours yes, we don’t have to leave.”

[Adam] “Pavel, stop it, I’m already late. Last night was a one off okay … I was drunk, I was angry, it’s not who I am.”

[Pavel] “I understand. It’s alright.”

[Adam] “I shouldn’t have got you involved, it was supposed to be a drink …”

[Pavel] “But you had a good time yes, you did enjoy it?”

(and just incase we were wondering if they’d only got drunk and passed out::)

[Adam] “Put your clothes on, I need to get back.”

Oh Adam! Really!?!

What a stupid, stupid, stupid man you are.

When finally heading to work, Adam wants to drop Pavel a bit off so that they don’t arrive together.

[Pavel] “Will I see you later?”

[Adam] “What do you mean?”

[Pavel] “At the poly tunnels.”

Just as Adam is about to kick Pavel out of the car,

[Adam] “Oh hell!”

[Brian] “Adam, where have you been. Who is with you? Is that one of your pickers?”

Adam claims he’d taken Pavel to the doctor.

[Brian, sniffing the lie a mile off] “Is that so … As long as you’re still managing the arable, you need to shape up. You hear?”

My word. This won’t be a secret for very long. Brian knows adultery when he sees it.

Phoebe wanted to collect the eggs

But Hayley had already started it. Hayley is now used to doing so.

Phoebe gets a tad over the top, but it’s nowt to do with eggs.

Hayley manages to get phoebe to tell her what’s wrong.

[Phoebe] “Mum, it was horrible …”

Adam lies to Ian

So, to Brian, Adam had taken Pavel to the doctor.

To Ian, Adam said he’d been in Felpersham. Drank lots and lots of vodka. Alone. Was too drunk to get home, and couldn’t find a taxi, so “had to” stay at a hotel.

[Ian] “You had to, did you … I would have picked you up.”

Later on:

[Adam] “Come on then, tell me what an arrogant, self-centred fool I’ve been.”

[Ian] “I said some pretty nasty things yesterday too … I’m just glad you’re back.”

(oh Ian, if only you knew!

[Adam] “I am a hypocrite, you were right.”

[Ian] “You’re passionate, that’s all … I just wish you’d talk to me before making big decisions.”

Adam now claims he has a lot of things to think about, but just Brian and the Super Dairy.

(well, he certainly does now, after last night)

Ian tells Adam that he’s been pondering. Maybe he has got too comfortable at work. Maybe he needs a new challenge. This might be the “push” he needs.

[Ian] “If you’re really so unhappy, then I’ll come with you. Wherever …We promised to support each other, didn’t we. In good times and bad.”

Adam starts crying.

[Adam] “I don’t know how to tell you. I don’t deserve you.”

[Ian] “Of course you do. You’re you. Though you do do stupid things sometimes … By the way, I think you need to freshen up … Just don’t go doing anything like that without me again.”

Oh goodness me! Does anyone have Ian’s number? He needs to be told.

How could Adam sit there and hear Ian give up everything he loves, knowing that he’s cheated on him.

Though Adam did seem to almost start telling Ian, he certainly did try hard enough.

Bad Adam. You deserve Brian, after all.

Kate feels shame!

Who’d have thunk it!

Phoebe’s told Hayley what happened in South Africa. So Hayley tells Roy.

[Hayley] “Even I’m shocked by this one … it’s Kate. She’s been having an affair … and Phoebe found out … Kate lied to Phoebe, let her down again, dumping her … that’s why Phoebe was in a cab, they’d been rowing, Kate was trying to talk her way out of it and Phoebe couldn’t stand it. Phoebe was running away.”

Roy calls Kate:

[Roy] “We trusted you to take care of her!”

[Kate] “What do you want me to say? Well done, you were right … don’t you think I know I’ve ruined everything. This was my chance, Roy, to make up for leaving her.”

Roy apologies for shouting. Kate tells him that she didn’t tell him what had happened while (and with) Phoebe in the first place because she was ashamed.

[Kate] “Does she really hate me?”

[Roy] “No. Phoebe’s a smart girl. You don’t have to worry. I’m sure she’ll come round. It’s not as if we don’t want her to have a relationship with you.”

For an odd moment, we could actually hear Hayley’s thoughts. “Don’t we?” was what she thought as heard Roy say that last bit.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Phoebe arrives in Ambridge: Tues 31.07.12

(blimey, that was a quick flight)

The Archers Tuesday 31st July 2012

Hayley wants Roy in the fast lane
NOW Hayley worries about Phoebe’s room
Mike likes grandkids
Ed’s also dropping his price
Phoebe’s arrival home is … muted
Jazzer’s going to the ‘Brugh!
Abbie likes the horses
Brenda really has changed

Hayley wants Roy in the fast lane
So that they can get to the airport before Phoebe arrives.

Roy, ever calm, keeps to the slow lane.

They’ll get there. Eventually.

NOW Hayley worries about Phoebe’s room

She’s wondering if she should have spoken to Phoebe first before she redecorated.

Bit late for that, considering it’s done and Phoebe’s on her way.

When Phoebe sees it:

[Phoebe] “It’s different … I was expecting it to be how it was … than you. It was nice of you.”

So, not totally enamoured, but not horrified.

At least Delia’s pot matches the room (so reckons Hayley), though it might not have been a good idea for them to have hung photos of everyone Phoebe is “missing” from South Africa.

Mike likes grandkids

Vicky and Mike are sitting Abbie while Hayley and Roy go to collect Phoebe from the airport.

[Vicky] “This is fun, isn’t it Mike. It’s lovely to do things with the little one. There’s so much you can share with them. I really feel we have so much to give.”

[Mike] “Yeah, grandkids are great.”

Being Mike, I’ve no idea if he said that without thinking, or if he was trying to make a point.

Ed’s also dropping his price

So that Mike can drop his.

I would have thought they’d both be manning the barricades by now!

Phoebe’s arrival home is … muted

(Well, not literally. We wouldn’t have heard anything)

When Phoebe sees Hayley and Roy, she starts sobbing.

When she gets home, she goes straight up to her room. Not even stopping to admire the banner or cake that’s been made in her honour.

She’s a tad monosyllabic when Roy and Hayley go up to see her.

[Roy] “What about, um, well, eh, how are things with Kate?”

Phoebe changed the subject.

But, Phoebe doesn’t eventually go down, to say hello to all, and to get a hug from Mike.

[Phoebe] “It’s good to be home. It really is.”

Jazzer’s going to the ‘Brugh!

[Fallon] “I know what Jazzer’s superpower is mum, persuasion.”

Jazzer’s persuaded Mike to let him go on holiday.

Because Fallon said he could come, when he fixed her van yesterday, she’s now stuck with him.

[Fallon] “I didn’t mean it. I was just being nice … I thought I was safe … I’d look like a right cow.”

Ever ready with good advice, Jolene suggests Fallon gets a fourth to come on holiday.

[Jolene] “Dilute him a bit.”

[Fallon] “Yeah, so he’s not so much of a gooseberry.”

(oh-ho! Fallon does have dishonourable intentions towards Harry after all!)

So who is Fallon going to call?

Kirsty.

She gets the time off of Ambridge Organics no problem (Helen must still be full of the joys of motherhood), but Jaxx might be a problem. It’s busy, and they’re already down staff.

[Jolene] “Do you want me to push Kenton a bit, see if he can sort something out?”

[Fallon] “Push hard … my happiness is at stake here!”

Abbie likes the horses

At the Olympics.

Bless.

Brenda really has changed

It’s a shocker!

Vicky tells Brenda that she’s told Mike she’s pregnant (Vicky, not Brenda).

[Vicky] “He’s been a bit dazed since then.”

Vicky doesn’t know if Mike is happy or not about the baby.

[Vicky] “And I realised I was just talking and talking because I was scared that he’d say … he doesn’t want it … Will I measure up? I know what a wonderful mother Betty was to you and Roy … Mike’s been through it before, but it’s all going to be so new to me.”

[Brenda] “Mum was new to it once, you mustn’t worry about trying to be her. I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful mother, in your own way.”

[Vicky] “I can’t do it alone Brenda, but I can’t lose mike. If that’s my choice, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Brenda even offers to go to the midwife with Vicky, as Mike’s likely to be busy (and still pondering).

Caring. A good listener. And helpful.

Where’s our usual brand of Brenda?

Saturday, 21 July 2012

The Beast in the garden, the Beast on the road: Fri 20.07.12

The Archers Friday 20th July 2012

Brian wants to talk
A lounge with a view
Keith’s been found guilty
Bunty’s had a fall
Jennifer discovers the Beast in her garden
Eddie to become a recognised artist?
Bust, and then BOOM
Hayley’s annoyed with Kate

Brian wants to talk

That’s always worrying.

He forces Adam to sit down and talk to him.

Well, more to listen to him.

He tells him about losing one of their arable suppliers.

[Brian] “Which leaves us with only one option … Home Farm is going to have to be the supplier to the dairy … You can keep the venison and the sheep and the soft fruit, of course.”

[Adam] “Look .. I’m not going there again.”

[Brian] “It’s not up for discussion any longer.”

[Adam] “It’s not going to happen.”

[Brian] “Debbie agrees with me … we’ve looked into all the options, and basically there isn’t any.”

[Adam] “All my hopes for this place, all my ideas, you just want to sweep them away.”

[Brian] “All I want is the best for this business. It’s a family business. I need you to be part of the team.”

[Adam] “Oh come on, it's a land grab. You and Debbie are taking over the farm and never mind what it does to me!”

Jennifer tried to suggest they could only use half of the land Brian needs from Home Farm, but he’s not interested.

Doesn’t Adam have a legal right to be consulted about the use of Home Farm land?

Maybe not.

If not, he’d be far better off elsewhere.

A lounge with a view

Eddie and Joe are at Home Farm, putting Ruairi’s dog statue on its plinth.

Ruairi told them to put it near the swimming pool, which they duly do. And they also made sure it could be seen from the house.

[Joe] “Nice to give them the benefit when they’re sitting in their lounge.”

Eddie kids around that he fancies taking a swim first.

[Eddie] “Maybe I’ll strip off and go in for 5 minutes.”

[Joe] “Madam Aldridge comes back with her la de da friends, that I’d like to see!”

Which gets Eddie pondering.

The Aldridges do have rather well connected friends.

Maybe he should also put a sign up saying ‘sculpture by E Grundy’.

Well, it is now going to be a very prominent feature of the Home Farm garden from now on.

Keith’s been found guilty

By Adam and David’s clan, it would seem.

[Adam] “Incredible aren’t they, that family.”

[David] “I must say, we’re all very relieved.”

Though they both agree that they shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions, that’s exactly what they are doing, They’re bath talking like it’s all over.

[Adam] "I won’t forget what you did. What you’ve had to go through, all of you. You’ve been rock solid.”

[David] “Well you know, anytime. Hey, we’re all alive.”

Have the forgotten it’s a gang that was after them?

Keith Horrobin may be many things, but he’s most definitely only one man.

And whether he was the man who’d been terrorising them on behalf of the gang has yet to be confirmed.

Bunty’s had a fall

Oh dear. Hope she’s okay.

(Bunty was the mum of Shula’s husband Mark)

Jennifer discovers the Beast in her garden

Hayley was round to Jennifer’s to see if she’d heard of any specific dates for Phoebe to return.

Then:

[Jennifer] “What in earth is that in the garden!”

When they go out to see it.

[Hayley] “Actually, I think it’s rather good. It’s got a lot of character.”

[Jennifer] “Oh, do you think so. To me it’s got a rather nasty sort of leer …The thought of having to stare out at this every day.”

(Brian joins them)

[Jennifer] “I blame Lilian for this. The ridiculous amount of money she had to pay him … I’m beginning to wonder if this has all been a put up job … he’s getting very devious, this son of yours.”

[Brian] “If it amuses him, where’s the problem … (once Ruairi bores of it) we can ship it off quietly behind the garage.”

Eddie to become a recognised artist?

Eddie’s plan to have Jennifer’s friends desperate to buy his ‘art’ might come true after all.

As Jennifer was worrying about what people will say when they spot the Beast from the terrace:

[Brian] “Spin them a line about getting into naïve art, the investment potential and so on, they’ll all what to go out and get one.”

Bust, and then BOOM

Eddie and Joe haven’t had a good week.

They sold the dog to Ruairi, but discounted.

And they sold two monsters, but as a BOGOF.

[Eddie] “We’ll go bust at this rate.”

[Joe] “That lot wouldn’t know a bargain if it jumped into their recycled shopping bag.”

Then Joe shouts out as Eddie hits something (they’re in his van).

[Eddie] “Bloomin’ eck, where the hell did he come from.”

[Joe] “A bad week just got a lot worse.”

They’d hot a boar. A rather large boar. Which they reckon will be hard to explain on their insurance forms.

[Joe] “Don’t suppose they get a lot of wild boar suicides … You know what you just done, don’t you. You killed the beat. It’s going to be the end of your monsters … there ain't no mystery beast no more.”

[Eddie] “Unless, who’s to say this is the Best of Ambridge … it came screaming out of the wood like a bat out of hell, like summit had scared it half to death … Play our cards right we have our cake and eat it too.”

*sigh*

Another Grundy scam ahoy.

Oh joy.

Hayley’s annoyed with Kate

Nothing unusual there, but it’ll explode if Kate isn’t more forthcoming soon.

Hayley has no idea of when Phoebe will be coming home.

And when she called to talk to Phoebe tonight, at a time they’d all arranged, Phoebe was out. Kate couldn’t say when she’d be back.

Sensing something’s not quite right, Hayley did ask if everyone was okay, but Kate didn’t say anything useful.

I can foresee Hayley getting on a flight to South Africa very soon …

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Sandwich fillings: Mon 09.07.12

The Archers Monday 9th July 2012

Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!
Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room
Sobbing in the Tucker household
Brian to evict the Swifts?
Brian on the fiddle?

Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!

[Elona] “The salami’s off, you’re having ham … you may not care what you’re having in your sandwiches, but I do.”

And there. Ladies and gentleman, was the highlight from today’s Ambridge.

Elona was making Darrell’s sandwiches, but Darrell was distracted by thoughts of Bernie (the bloke who’s selling him and Matt knock off kitchen furniture, and the like).

Makes it worse that Elona is very glad Matt is being “fair” with Darrell. Paying him formally. And being generous with a “bonus”. She’s delighted the bonus has meant Anna can get a keyboard. Later on, after Anna got her keyboard, she says she also now wants piano lessons.

All of which adds pressure onto Darrell. Who knows that Matt isn’t exactly on the level.

Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room

She thinks it’s very pretty and grown up.

Phew!

Hayley must be so relieved …

Sobbing in the Tucker household

Seems Abbie was sobbing all night about Phoebe not coming home.

And Vicky’s also upset. It’s put a right damper on her and Mike’s anniversary plans.

Though Phoebe sent Hayley something that sounded like a musical text with a message on it (couldn’t tell you exactly what, though) saying she loved her, Hayley wasn’t exactly cheered.

We left Ambridge this evening listening to Hayley playing the text back, laughing, then crying.

Brian to evict the swifts?

Brian’s been given first option on buying Valley Farm.

That’s the farm he wants to turn into accommodation for the Super Dairy workers. And the one which is currently home to some swifts.

[Brian] “Seems the owner got pestered by BAFF at a farmer’s market … that rabid Hattie person probably. Bet she unloved as a child …”

[Jennifer] “Oh Brian!”

[Brian] “Come on Jenny, they’re just attention seekers … they’ve started to believe their own publicity … that everyone agrees with them. There’s nothing worse than arrogance, is there?”

[Jennifer] “Well …”

[Brian] “The good thing is that it’s all starting to backfire … got right up his nose, suddenly he’s offering it at a very fair price.”

Ah – so Hattie has unwittingly helped Brian, and damned the swifts.

Funny Jennifer hasn’t mentioned them again. So was so adamant Brian couldn’t evict them.

Maybe she’s saving that as a round 2 argument.

Brian on the fiddle?

Possibly so.

Gerry has asked to see the contract between Home Farm and BL for the arable part of the Super Dairy.

Annabelle seems deeply concerned he’s looking into it. Brian doesn’t seem to give a hoot. He reckons Home Farm got the job after tendering.

[Brian] “I’m completely bomb proof on this one”

Hmm.

Odd that Brian never seems to listen to Annabelle. She’s more than often right.

Maybe the Super Dairy will still be scuppered, from the inside.

Kate’s a madwoman, so says Hayley: Sun 08.07.12

The Archers Sunday 8th July 2012

Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade
South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?
Milk Price Rally
Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!
George not impressed with Susan’s
Josh to look after Jeena
Roy knows Kate

Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade

But it doesn’t fit with the rest of her new room, so it’s got to go.

There was a slight panic when they found the bulb wasn’t working, but Roy borrowed one from Mike.

Such drama!

South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?

(I know what I’d prefer)

Kate drops her bombshell

Well, to be fair to Kate, it was actually Phoebe’s bombshell. But Kate did facilitate it by agreeing to Phoebe staying longer in South Africa without talking to Roy and Hayley first,

Kate called Hayley, just as Hayley was putting the finishing touches to Phoebe’s room.

[Kate] “It makes much more sense.”

[Hayley] “It might make sense to you but this date’s been set for months!

[Kate] “That was ages ago, we didn’t know how things were going to work out, she’s loving South Africa … you can hardly begrudge it, you’ve had her all these years.”

Later on, talking to Roy, Hayley was furious with herself for letting Kate wind her up.

She and Roy are both furious Phoebe isn’t coming home, for a number of reasons. There will be no time for her to settle down before school. It’ll ruin the holiday plans they’d made.

[Roy] “No, it’ll be Kate just trying it on … she isn’t going to stay there. I’ll not have it.”

So Roy calls Kate.

[Kate] “You and Hayley are as bad as each other, overeating …”

Roy demands to be told about the camping trip to the Cape. Kate’s mention of older boys being there doesn’t make Roy a happy man …

[Kate] “ … for goodness sake, grow up, and let Phoebe, Just chill a bit … I can see a week in some holiday park in the UK to be far more enjoyable, playing snap with her kid sister while Vicky enters the glamorous granny competition!”

[Roy] “It wouldn’t be like that …”

(Roy had to stop there. He couldn’t exactly give any reasons why it wouldn’t be like that)

Kate handed the phone to Phoebe, who tells Roy that she wants to stay as she’s having such a marvellous time.

[Roy] “Well, you are going to come back, aren’t you?”

[Phoebe] “Don’t be silly. Of course I will!”

So, Roy has to relent. What Phoebe wants, Phoebe does seem to get.

Milk Price Rally

Will be taking place in London, but David’s not going. He feels his place is at Brookfield, especially now that everyone’s home again (including Emma at Rickyard, it would seem).

[David] “We’ve just got to be aware, that’s all, rather than being paranoid.”

Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!

Sounded like Josh and Ben were at Lower Loxley. David expected it would be Lewis to bring them home.

[David] “What would it take, do you think, for Elizabeth to come round?”

[Ruth] “What, here?”

[David] “In her head as well. Perhaps if these nutters bought me one, or finished me off … do you think that would even the stakes?”

Later on, after the boys are home.

[David] “You might need to go home and lie in a darkened room.”

Elizabeth had dropped them off, and had also spoken to David.

[David] “Don’t get excited. Nothing’s changed. She still thinks I’m an idiot. She thinks I’m mad to give evidence … from her point of view, it’s clearly just another wrong decision from someone who clearly can’t be trusted to make them.”

Ach well. At least Elizabeth is now acknowledging David exists. Might take a few more years for her to realise he didn’t kill Nigel.

George not impressed with Susan’s

George didn’t like staying at Ambridge View.

He wasn’t allowed in most of the rooms. Could have drinks or crisps in front of the “big” telly. And had to talk his shoes off.

When telling Josh, they both agree it was rather “extreme”.

Josh to look after Jeena

Jeena’s very heavily pregnant with a big calf, but has quite slim hips. So she’ll likely need help.

Josh was sounding very depressed (indeed) that Phoebe wasn’t coming home:

[Josh] “Some summer I’m going to have, gated on a farm with nutters after us.”

David reminds him that they’ll have days out. Cricket. Football. He’ll finally get on the tractor. And, he wants Josh to look after Jeena.

Josh actually sounded really happy about that.

Would seem Phoebe is easily forgotten for a cow …

Roy knows Kate

[Hayley] “Can we trust her Roy … Kate … by September, will she come up with some other excuse to keep her … Kate’s brainwashed her.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded ... a bit detached”

[Hayley] “Don’t tell me Phoebe’s been packed off to get her out of Kate’s way.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded a bit odd.”

[Hayley] “So now there’s a madwoman in charge of our daughter … well thanks Roy. If you’re trying to reassure me, you’re going the wrong way about it!”

Hmmm.

Looks like Roy’s spotted Kate’s up to no good.