Eddie buys a freezer: Thurs 02.08.12

The Archers Thursday 2nd August 2012

• Poor Bert
• Eddie’s a PR genius
• Eddie buys a freezer
• Brian nobbles Ian
• Bridge Farm has good post
• Brian’s a cheeky monkey
• Ian and Adam have a barney

Poor Bert

Eddie reckons Joe’s gone round to Bert Horrobin’s to gloat at the recent news Keith is a firestarter.

[Eddie] “Yet another jailbird in that family.”

[Clarrie] “People in glass houses, Eddie …”

Quite.


Eddie’s a PR genius

And I mean that quite sincerely.

He’s ever so keen Clarrie reads The Echo.

[Clarrie] “When’s there anything remotely interesting in the Borchester Echo?”

Eddie is most insistent there is.

When Clarrie later reads The Echo while at work at Bridge Farm, she’s stunned to hysterics (in a laughing way, not a crying one).

[Pat] “ ‘A close shave with the beats of Ambridge’ … what’s Eddie got there?”

[Clarrie] “It’s one of his statues.”

Seems Eddie got an article about his brush with the beast.

It’s his and Joe’s plan to say that the wild boar they hit was only:

[Clarrie] “Fleeing in terror from a horrifying mutant creature."

But that’s not all.

In the article, Eddie’s described as:

[Clarrie] “A sculpture and ethnic artist.”

(that’s when she really starts laughing)

He talks about his studio (their shed, Clarrie reckons). And that he was inspired to make “£D representations of the creature”. Which just so happens to be for sale …

[Clarrie] “It was my duty as an artist to give people the chance to own a piece of Borsetshire history.”

[Pat] “Who’ve got to give him credit for trying.”

But Clarrie’s still focused on the wild boar meat. As I also wondered, she asked Pat if road kill can be sold.

Pat’s off to investigate.


Eddie buys a freezer

It’s rusty, but it works. Allegedly.

Eddie’s bought it to store the wild boar meat.

[Eddie] “You wanted it shot”

[Clarrie] “I wanted it buried in the ground!”

Then there’s the problem of where to put it.

Eddie reckons the shed. But where will the ferret cage go? (wonders Clarrie)

On the fridge. (reckons Eddie)

More worrying for Clarrie is that Eddie seems to have plans for that meat (again). He hasn’t dropped the idea that he could be making money from it.


Brian nobbles Ian

Brian tells Ian that Home Farm won the arable contract.

[Brian] “So, we need to find a way forward with staffing.”

[Ian] “Without Adam, you mean.”

[Brian] “Well I hope not Ian … Now we know where we are, I’m hoping you can change his mind … Well I know he and I have had our differences, but if Home Farm is anything, it’s a family business. And Adam’s been a  major part of that since he came back from Africa, I don’t want to see him throw away everything we’ve built up together.”

[Ian] “Is that so?”

[Brian] “Of course!”

[Ian] “Well, you have a funny way of showing it … do you know how badly you’ve handled this situation. Your attitude’s been like it or lump it the whole way through.”

[Brian] “Well I don’t think that’s fair.”

[Ian] “Is it any wonder he feels the way he does?”

[Brian] “I don’t think there’s any point in raking up the past, we are where we are. Maybe I could have handled things better … as far as Adam’s future is concerned, surely we’re on the same side?”

As Brian then points out to Ian, if Adam decides not to accept the inevitable at Home Farm, Ian might have to move.

[Ian] “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.”

Oh dear.

I don’t disagree with Ian trying to convince Adam to not leave Ambridge (as Adam really hasn’t thought of Ian at all throughout this … and leave Ambridge!?! Who would ever???).

But that Ian will be seen to be siding with Brian can only leady to friction.


Bridge Farm has good post

For once.

Seems their insurance company has paid out on all the claims. And no-one has permanent damage.

So, the E.coli is officially over.

[Pat] “I wouldn’t like to live like something through that again.”

[Clarrie] “If I could go back and change things.”

[Pat] “As far as I’m concerned, it’s all in the past, the future is what counts now.”

Brian’s a cheeky monkey

Brian was placing an advert by phone

I didn’t think that happened anymore. I thought you had to design your recruitment advert, then pay again for it to go through pre-flights.

Not at the Borchester Echo, it seems. Brian called up with a recruitment advert, reading the copy out over the phone.

How quaint!

Anyhoo – the advert is for a Farm Manager … which is Adam’s alleged role.

[Brian, still ready out his copy] “This is  a great opportunity, for an experienced manager, who is used to taking initiative …”

(aye, as long as your initiative fits in with Brian’s 5 year plan!)

[Brian, still ready out his copy] “Home Farm has a proven track record as an equal opportunities employer.”

Pfffft!

What a nerve!


Ian and Adam have a barney

Adam’s telling Ian how much he enjoys being around Pavel.

[Adam] “Really inspiring to work with someone who’s still got all their ideals intact.”

He reckons Poland’s got farming right. Pavel’s active in a campaign to start industrial farming, which he reckons should have happened in Britain in the 70s and 80s.

[Adam] “It would be really good to spend some time out there.”

[Ian, shouting] “Oh for god sake, will you listen to yourself … Africa … Hungry, Poland … anywhere but Ambridge. So where does that leave me?”

Oops.

You know things are very, very bad when Ian raises his voice.

Communications blackout 16.01.12

The Archers Monday 16th January 2012

• Caroline’s glitch
• Lynda still has flu
• The server is also down at Home Farm
• Jennifer ran a gauntlet
• Using a phone takes twice as long?
• Job for Tracey?
• The new packaging has arrived
• Google declares E. coli over
• Shelly Brazil has cancelled!
• Thief! Clive???
• Brian can’t live in the moment?

Caroline’s glitch

Turns out to be an Ambridge wide glitch.

Without broadband, Caroline can’t check anyone out of Grey Gables. Or check new bookings. Or respond to requests.

She has to resort to pen and paper. And asking Ian (the chef) to call the IT bloke.


Lynda still has flu

I’m starting to worry now.

As Caroline said, it takes a lot to floor our Lynda.


The server is also down at Home Farm

Ah, the plot thickens …


Jennifer ran a gauntlet

When she took Peggy to church.

That Brian’s got a lot to answer for.

It’s hardly ladylike behaviour, having to run a gauntlet.

Jennifer will have to get used to it if the Super Dairy plans continue.



Using a phone takes twice as long?

According to Ian, when placing a food order.

Funny thing. I always think not having email speeds up work something grand. You actually get the work done, rather than feeling you’ve got the work done by sending an email.


Job for Tracey?

When Caroline mentioned that she’d need to bring in extra help to cope without any broadband, I thought Tracey would have a shoe in.

But it was good ol’ Oliver that came in.

He did do a grand job. He even dealt (what sounded like) a very grumpy customer who, even after Oliver gave him a free upgrade in apology, still sounded like Grey Gables has torched his house.


The new packaging has arrived

Be still our collective beating heart!

Tim’s very excited.

It’s the new Ambridge Organics packaging, which both he and Helen do approve of.

Helen does have to ask Tom to tone down his enthusiasm in front of Tony and Pat.

[Helen] “It’s an end of an era for them”

Aye, as if Tom gives a hoot about that.

It’s all Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom …


Google declares E. coli over

Reckons Tom.

Seems the only mention of Ambridge Organics or Bridge Farm and E. coli is way down on page 6.

Okay.

So I will admit it.

Tom did do a good job online.

Still doesn’t make him a nice person.


Shelly Brazil has cancelled!

Oh the humanity!

And if they can’t persuade Pat to do a speech, surely the whole Ambridge Organics launch will be ruined?!?

Still, on the positive side, it did make Tom calm down. He does need a disappointment once in a while to make him bearable.


Thief! Clive???

Or probably more likely, thieves.

As the day wore on, Susan was frazzled only being able to take cash and cheques at the post office.

Jennifer was concerned about the third generation:

[Jennifer] “And older people are a worry in a situation like this, if they haven’t got a mobile”

But was hopeful that this experience might encourage Peggy to finally get a mobile.

(I’m surprised she hasn’t already – what with her silver surfing)

So with most of Ambridge without internet, and also landlines, what was the cause?

Some bad person has stolen the main cable.

Blimey.

Clive?



Brian can’t live in the moment?

[Brian] “It does feel very last century at the moment, doesn’t it?”

[Jennifer} “In a strange way,. It’s quite comforting. You can feel got at with emails zipping … we can’t see to live in the moment, can we. If it wasn’t for the awful inconvenience, it’d be a relief”

[Brian] “I suppose I’m not really good at living in the moment, am I?”

Sorry?

Was that really Brian talking?

He’s really blown his ability to ever be able to use the old ‘it just happened’ excuse if his trousers happen to go wondering again.

The Archers Thursday 15th September 2011: Clarrie comes home

• Joe doing the housework
• Why did Clarrie leave?
• Clarrie is useless?
• Joe says his bit to Tony
• That kid is out of hospital
• Clarrie comes home
• Eddie on a PR spin mission
• Eddie loves Clarrie

Joe doing the housework

Ed was quite rightly left stunned and wondering if he’d walked into a parallel universe.

[Joe] “If you’re coming in, you’d better take them boots off”

[Ed] “Now there’s something I thought I’d never see, you washing the kitchen floor”

[Joe] “Well, we can’t have the place looking like a bullock yard when Clarrie gets back … I hope them overalls of yours ain't mucky, I don’t want them cushions smelling of jersey cow”

Why did Clarrie leave?

[Clarrie] “When I heard Vicky Tucker say them words, ‘that dirty woman’, something just snapped … I knew I had to get away, you understand that Eddie … so I though that’s it ... I've had enough”

Seems Clarrie was picked up by a “nice chap” in a delivery van into town (he’d seen her struggling along with her bags). Then she got the coach to Peterborough.

Then … she slept in the bus station. There wasn’t a way out to Yarmouth that night.

Eddie is aghast.

Even more so when Clarrie tells him that her sister Rosie had made her call home …

Clarrie is useless?

[Clarrie] “You see! I’m useless. It’d be better for everyone if I wasn’t around”

Nooo Clarrie. No.

[Eddie] “It's cobblers … and I won’t have you say anything like that ever again”

[Eddie] “We’ll get through it, like we have before”

[Clarrie] “There’s a chance I won’t never get a job again, not at my age … I don’t deserve you Eddie, like I said, I’m rubbish."

Joe says his bit to Tony

Tony’s round at the Grundy’s, seeing if Clarrie is back, or if there’s anything else he can do.

[Tony] “We thought we’d have all the bad news … we felt sick”

[Joe] “You shouldn’t have sacked her, should you … that’s what set al the tongues wagging round here … she took it really hard you know, losing her job … you think on it …”

Tony explains that she did leave of her own accord – but Joe reckons it’s the same difference.

Tony tries to explain to Joe just how hard life has been at Bridge Farm.

[Tony] “When a farm is on the slide, it’s hard to stop the rot …”

[Joe] “You’re sitting there pretty, Tony Archers … I grew up in the 30s remember, that’s when times really where really hard, so don’t you sit there telling me what a struggle it all is …”

Joe reckons that Tony at least has the land, that he can sell at a profit, even though he has a mortgage on it.

Clarrie has nothing to fall back on.

And he has Tom and Helen – who are clever and hard working.

Clarrie has Will and Ed (hard working, but can be a tad unreliable depending on who Emma’s decided she’s with).

In Joe’s mind – all will be well at Bridge Farm. But he can’t say the same about his Clarrie.

And that really (really) annoys him.


That kid is out of hospital

But what about the adults that were ill?

Are they not worth a mention?


Clarrie comes home

As Joe spots Clarrie and Eddie arriving home:

[Joe] “You stay where you are, Tony Archer ...you go running off the moment she gets here, it’ll make her feel even worse”

Joe lays out a “nice bright tablecloth”.

[Joe] “Flowers Edward, please …Now then, let’s all be cheerful, shall we”

[Clarrie] “I must say this place is looking very spic and span”

[Joe] “Oh we missed you Clarrie, this place ain't the same without you”

Joe then offers to pop out for some pies, but Clarrie reckons she’ll open a tin of ham.

Is it just me, or is part of the problem that, without her job, Clarrie’s noticed what a humdrum life she has?

Tin of ham?

Clarrie deserves better. Much so.


Eddie on a PR spin mission

Eddie pops out to call Ruth (out of range of Clarrie’s ear). Ruth had been round earlier on, and knew that Clarrie had gone missing.

Eddie calls to play to down, and make like she’d just gone to Rosie’s for Rosie’s birthday.

Not more sinister than that.

[Eddie] “There’s probably all rumours flying round the village at the moment!”

Ruth at least says she understands. But I don’t think Eddie’s going to manage to convince anyone with that tall tale …


Eddie loves Clarrie

[Eddie] “I’m doing me best to understand what’s happened Clarrie, but it’s not easy …

…”but there’s one thing I want you to know, we’ll get through this together, like we always do …

“… you mean the whole world to me, Clarrie, you know that … no matter what happens, you’re the centre of my life and you’ll always will”

Bless him.

Maybe he should start by popping out to get more in for tea than a tin of ham …

The Archers Thursday 25th August 2011: Bridge Farm is being sued

• Brian’s not front page new
• It’s grim up Ambridge way
• Jamie did alright, considering
• Pat feels guilty
• Another bad letter day
• Tom and Brenda talk strategy … again!

Brian’s not front page new

Brian’s delighted that work at the Mart can get going again. The delay, due to the cattle bones, has cost them, but they won’t miss their deadlines – if there are no further delays …

But, Brian’s not so chuffed that the Echo “buried” a story about the Mart being cleared of the bones being dodgy, or of Foot and Mouth.

Good news doesn’t sell headlines, Brian. You should know that all too well.

It’s grim up Ambridge way

Well, it is for Pat and co, so Pat tells Kathy.

Pat’s got nothing “positive” to tell Kathy. She’s heard nothing more about the sick kids (what about the adults? They could be dead, for all we know).

Jamie did alright, considering

Jamie did better in his exams than anyone expected, including himself.

He got a B, fours Cs and three Ds.

[Pat] “That’s miraculous, considering what was going on”

Seems he certainly did better than Marty – sounds like Marty completed failed.

Jamie’s grades means he technically can’t go to College, but Natalie persuaded him to call the College, with the result that they’ll meet him to maybe give him a chance.

[Pat] “She’s good for him, isn’t she?”

[Kathy] “He’ll accept things from her he never would from me”

True.

But, last time we heard Natalie on the secret microphones, she seemed to be a bit of a control freak.

I suppose sons sometimes do fall for women who are like their mums … ugh!

Pat feels guilty

Not sure how Pat is finding space for any more guilt.

This time, she’s telling Kathy that she feels bad she snapped at Brenda the other day.

[Kathy] “You're only human, Pat”

Quite.

It’s very human to snap at Brenda (and Tom).

Another bad letter day

Pat’s received a letter from a solicitor representing both of the kids that were hospitalised due to Bridge Farm’s special E. coli flavour of ice cream.

They are suing.

Pat and Tony can pass the problem over to their solicitor and insurers. Hopefully they’ll sort it, but it will mean their premiums will increase dramatically.

And that’s while they’re not making many (if any sales). They can hardly afford more expense when (amongst everything else), even veg box orders are being cancelled.

Tom and Brenda talk strategy … again!

Goodness me. When will those two accept that they don’t know what they’re doing?

Tom’s keeping going with his cold calling.

[Brenda] “You need a proper strategy … already have suppliers … so what you need to do it talk, use plenty of open questions and listen …Hold confidence in the brand”

[Tom] “Just a case of getting them out there into the wider world “

*sigh*

Even if Tom can persuade one or two new orders, it’s hardly going to scratch the surface of making up for all of the old orders.

Tom won’t like this … but probably time to hit the supermarkets. Ones beyond Borchester.

The Archers Tuesday 16th August 2011: Bones found at the Mart site

• But what about Ruairi’s sports kit?
• Pat had to wear lady shoes
• Are archaeologists really that busy?
• Jennifer gets excited about old bones

But what about Ruairi’s sports kit?

Brian gets a call from Cliff Alladay (The Mart’s Project Manager), and heads straight off to deal with a problem.

Jennifer’s not happy about that. It means he can’t go with her and Ruairi to buy Ruairi’s school kit.

Would seem it’s a seminal moment in any young (public school) boy’s life.
 
Pat had to wear lady shoes 

To her and Tony’s interview at Environmental Health.

Blimey!

Pat’s also worried about the interview. It could lead to a prosecution..

[Tony] “This is environmental health, not Scotland Yard … try to not let the situation intimidate you”

Easier said than done, but quite nice to hear Tony being the positive one in the know.

It sounded like most of the interview went well. Pat only sounded unsure (and a bit panicked) about the last time she’d put her staff through a refresher course – including 48 hour rule and such.

After their interview, Pat and Tony find that the village shop in Penny Hasset and the whole food shop in Darrington have cancelled their orders – AND the wee girl ill in hospital now has kidney problems.

So what’s Tom’s solution?

Take Bridge Farm’s confidence in their product further afield – places like Birmingham and Bristol (where, one assumes, they haven’t heard of the E. coli outbreak).

Hmmm. Wonder if German salad folks found that they managed to survive by finding new markets …

Are archaeologists really that busy?

Cliff has been trying to get one out to the Mart site to have a look at the bones one of the workers discovered.

But seems they’re all out on calls.

Surely not? I’d have thought their work could wait … after all, it’ll have been there for a fair while already.

Anyway – first signs are that the bones are cattle (they found a cattle skull).

But, finding the bones, having to report them, trying to find an archaeologist who doesn’t have another archaeological emergency, all means delays. Which can’t happen if the Mart project is going to hit the Council deadlines.

[Brian] “We’ve been knocked sideways by something entirely unpredictable”

Brian is angry, but one also assumes slightly pleased to be able to tell Annabelle ‘I told you so’.

Jennifer gets excited about old bones

After getting back in from the Mart site, all Brian wants is a large whisky (though he should get it himself rather than telling Jennifer to get him one. Lazy so and so. And I do hope it is whisky rather than whiskey …).

What he also gets with his whisky is a side order of rather inappropriate excitement from Jennifer.

[Jennifer] “Was anything else found, I mean pottery or jewellery … how interesting!”

Brian hopes it isn’t anything ‘interesting’:

[Brian] “Then it’d be littered with people in dungarees with teaspoons”

With her old local historian hat on, Jennifer reckons that the Mart site was part of a major roman road and that the Earl of Essex’s army billeted nearby in 1642.

[Jennifer] “There could very well be ancient remains, it could be a very important find”

Brian is most decidedly not excited nor amused. He’s only worried about delays, and what it could cost him.

The Archers Sunday 14th August 2011: Tom and Helen take control

(not really – they’re just going to do a plan)

• Big difference between “being tougher” and just plain evil
• The spiral of doom
• I want a rummage box
• Elona is sad
• Nic and Will are lovely to each other
• Tom’s great plan is to …
• Eddie’s charming ladies on lawns

Big difference between “being tougher” and just plain evil

Helen’s talking to Tom about how worried she is about the forthcoming Environmental Health interview Pat and Tony have. If there are any failings with their hygiene and such, it could mean more legal shenanigans.

They’re also bemoaning that the Underwoods contract has been lost.

[Tom] “Maybe you and I could have (done something to keep it) … we’d have got tougher much earlier, that’s for sure”

For “tougher” read ‘flung Clarrie to the wolves’.

Badness.

Yes, this is Clarrie’s fault – but naming, shaming and firing wouldn’t have made a difference. In my opinion.

The spiral of doom

Ambridge Organics has got to move more stock to try and make up for the loss of sales elsewhere.

But that won’t make up the difference.

And it’ll get worse, according to Helen.

They be selling less – so will make less – word will get round that they’re making less – so the customers that are buying their stock will start to think they’re making less as they’re about to go under – so will find other suppliers …

[Tom] “Let’s stop the rot now, before it gets too far”

So Tom and Helen arrange to meet later to strategise .

I want a rummage box

Sounds great.

Jack has one. Peggy brought more for it – a picture of Christine’s garden, and stems of winter barley (to touch and smell).

Sounds very groovy.


Elona is sad

She reckons she has to leave The Laurels.

Her flat is too small for her and her family – they’re all starting to feel squished and are starting to argue – but she can’t afford anything bigger locally.

Peggy obviously adores Elona. Jack adores her, and she’s an all-round very nice lady.

[Elona] “I feel like I’m abandoning him. But I must think of my daughters”

But Peggy has a cunning plan – No.3 The Green. Which currently has no tenant, and belongs to Lilian (Peggy’s’ daughter).

Elona thinks it’s still no good as she couldn’t even afford the deposit.

So, Will Peggy persuade Lilian to drop the deposit? Will Peggy pay the deposit? Will Elona then turn out to be a bad ‘un?


Nic and Will are lovely to each other

Nic makes Will Sunday lunch.

Nic has plans for later on (she’s got rid of the kids to their dad, Andrew). But, Will also has plans – to help Eddie leaflet for doing patios and the like. But rather than getting shirty about it, Nic reckons she’ll help. They can spend time together, and also help out Eddie and Clarrie.

After leafleting, Will offers Nic a nice cold beer (yum!) at the Duck and Drake, which has a nice stream in the beer garden, and also a bit of something to eat.

Will was then genuinely grateful and quite humbled at Nic “helping my family out” without complaint, nor being asked.

Will he make them her family proper soon?

Love very much seems to be in the air between those two. And nice to hear Will being nice.


Tom’s great plan is to …

… make a plan!

Over cold lemonade and lemon drizzle cake (yum!), and a quite vocal Henry:

[Tom] “Mum and dad running on the spot just to keep up … but they haven’t been thinking outside the box … what we do, if we move out of the area, out of the reach of the bad publicity”

Which is a bit of a hard push. They also reckon their USP is that they’re a local company, so starting to sell beyond means they have to come up with a whole new marketing plan. One which they’re not going to tell Tony and Pat about until it’s done.

Aye, I can see that going down well. It’s just what Tony and Pat need – more secrets, and being told what’s what by their kids.


Eddie’s charming ladies on lawns

Cause that’s the kind of chap he is.

But it’s all in a good cause.

(it’s to get more work in for his family)

The Archers Friday 12th August 2011: It gets worse for Bridge Farm

• Did Lilian say callous?
• Cold callers of the world – take Pat off of your lists
• The little boy is okay
• Adam’s playing safe
• Freddie reminds Shula of Nigel
• What do you mean Daniel has already had his work experience?
• “Nothing worse than silence in a wheat field during harvest”
• Alice has found work
• Anything else for Bridge Farm?

Did Lilian say callous?

I thought she said to Pat that she’d sounded “cold” when she did the radio interview.


Cold callers of the world – take Pat off of your lists

Calling Pat right now will only result in a right old ear bashing.


The little boy is okay

Shula tells Pat.

Well, that’s at least one bit of good news.


Adam’s playing safe

Pip has finally cornered Adam. She wants to talk through her ideas for Brookfield’s marketing of its lamb.

Her main idea is for Brookfield to break from the Hasset Hills co-operative – go it alone – and market the lamb as “pasture fed rather than a generic commodity” alongside its beef.
 
Adam’s not so sure. He thinks the co-op works best for all involved, and it provides a degree of safety.
But, not a chap to be completely negative, Adam suggests that Pip make a difference by working within – and she could start off by doing it as a college project.

Which she seems happy enough with.


Freddie reminds Shula of Nigel

Freddie’s been helping out a lot at Shula’s. She’s finding a lot of Nigel in Freddie – his sense of fun, and his “innocent” eyes.

Nigel was also quite a clever chap (which he tried). Wonder if Freddie is just a late bloomer in that department?


What do you mean Daniel has already had his work experience?

Blimey – I sound like a broken record saying that there’s been a lot of damp squibs in Ambridge recently – but they just keep happening!

Now it’s Daniel.

He was due to have work experience at Usha’s. Neither Shula nor Usha were entirely sure how it would pan out.

Would it lead to great friction? Would Usha and Shula suddenly become mates? Would Shula return to St Stephens as a result?

I have no idea.

His work experience has happened, but the hidden microphones were no-where near.

*Lynda sniff*

Though the mention of his work experience did give Pat a very good opportunity to say:

[Pat] “It wouldn’t hurt to have a lawyer in the family one day, again”

How very true.


“Nothing worse than silence is a wheat field during harvest”

Indeed Adam. I find that all the time.


Alice has found work

Selling strawberries for her (half) brother, for commission.

But she seems to be quite good at it.

And she also has a gig running stalls at farmers markets.

For her mum.

Phew! There’s nowt like standing on one’s own two feet.


Anything else for Bridge Farm?

Susan calls Pat to let her know that they haven’t sold a yoghurt all day. Or the day before.

In fact, the only thing that is selling from bridge Farm is the Sterling Gold cheese. Which just so happens to not have any mention of the Bridge Farm brand on it.

Tom finds that most frustrating,. He claims it’s because it’s utterly ridiculous – Sterling Gold is made from unpasteurised milk, don’t you know. But I reckon it’s more to do with Helen’s brand standing up better than Tom’s …

And, there’s also been cancellations for veg boxes.

[Tom] “Clarrie’s certainly left a trail of destruction on her wake …”

But wait – there’s more.

Environmental Health telephone. They want to interview Pat (or Tony?). For food safety offenses.

[Tom] “Whatever we do, it doesn’t look like we’re going to weather this storm, does it?”

Blimey.

Could it get worse?

Death?

The Archers Tuesday 9th August 2011: The proverbial hits the fan – it’s a solicitor’s letter

• Is Bella Bridge Farm’s dog?
• Too soon for solicitors?
• Clarrie hasn’t got any plans
• Blackcurrant Smoothie attack!
• Spooky goings on in the Vineyard
• Don’t bank on social networking as Brookfield’s saviour
• Well done Eddie

Is Bella Bridge Farm’s dog?

Not sure. Or is she a cow?

Either way, Tony reckoned that the TLC helped her stop limping.

Good news for Bella, and good on Tony for giving his dog some TLC. Or his Cow.


Too soon for solicitors?

I reckon so.

Tony and Pat are horrified (but not entirely surprised) to receive a letter today from Milly Robson parents, and one of the adults who’d also taken ill.

They’re suing for compensation.

Pat and Tony reckon the insurance will cover them (aye – I’ve personal experience that you can’t entirely depend on your insurance paying out: have a look at this). Which, if they do pay out, will still mean that their premiums will rocket.

Is it just me – or are Milly Robson’s parents (especially) jumping the gun? They don’t even know for sure yet that their daughter will survive.

Still, I suppose that the litigious world we live in.

And Pat’s keen to know if the other kid (who hasn’t really been mentioned so far) is okay. Seems Shula might be the person in the know (with her Pony Club connections).


Clarrie hasn’t got any plans

[Eddie] “How bout a bit of baking?”

I was about to (again) rant about Eddie being insensitive, and relatively useless all round, when it comes to Clarrie’s need, but I think I get it.

Eddie’s trying to make Clarrie realise that she’s useful. And wanted. And needed.

Good lad.

Especially important now – ever more so since Clarrie noticed that hardly anyone touched her quiche at the Snells’ party (though Eddie reckons lots went untouched as there was so much of it).

[Eddie] “So, um, what about doing some housework?”

[Clarrie] “The house is so spick and span I hardly recognise the place”

[Eddie, in jest] “Yea, well I’m sure me and dad could sort that our for you”

But what Clarrie wants is proper work.

She’s not getting as many shifts at The Bull because of Rhys now working there (she goes to ask Jolene for more work – but Jolene reckons she’ll “be in touch” if they need emergency cover … that sounds familiar). She also had a not fantastic time when she went into The Bull – everyone was asking her questions, wanting to know why she wasn’t working at bridge Farm, why it was her, and not Susan, who ended up with part time work …


Blackcurrant Smoothie attack!

Poor Pip.

Seems she dropped her watch in a glass of water this morning. Now she has blackcurrant smoothie on her uniform after drop an (almost empty) glass while at work.

She’s out of sorts as she’s anxious about her A Level results. Which will only arrive next week.

[Elizabeth] “I’m sure it will be fine”

Which is the worst thing to say – every time Pup hears it, her stomach turns over.

Pip has worked hard, but she had a lot of catching up to do after her Juuude Shenanigans.

(funny that Pip is now starting to say Jude, with a long ‘o’ sound in the middle, as David always has)


Spooky goings on in the Vineyard

As Pip’s so stressed, Elizabeth takes her to Lower Loxley’s vineyard to chill and have a chat.

Seems the grapes are doing splendidly – quality and quantity.

The stroll through the grapes does calm Pip down.

But bizarrely, Pip’s watch also starts working.

Ooo-er.

As we all know, the vineyards are where Elizabeth still ‘feels’ Nigel …


Don’t bank on social networking as Brookfield’s saviour

I obviously don’t doubt the sheer might and power of social networking.

But – Pip’s kidding herself if she thinks social networking , for Brookfield’s lambs, will make enough of a difference to create enough work for her to also stay.

She is sensible in wanting to talk to Adam. As Elizabeth says:

[Elizabeth] “Adam is always good value”

And you also have to give Pip her due for her passion.

[Pip] “I just really, really want to be a part of Brookfield”

[Elizabeth] “Yeah, but it’s not the best of times for family farms”

Which Pip gets incredibly defensive about. She rants about how well her folks have coped – with Elizabeth trying to explain that she meant “it is just a struggle for everyone”

So she has a slight fall out with Elizabeth.

Funny also that Pip hasn’t clocked that she’s not David and Ruth’s only kid.

What about Josh wanting to work at Brookfield (which looks like he might want to do)? And Ben?


Well done Eddie

Eddie and Clarrie are sitting down to dinner.

(where is Joe? Not like him to miss a meal)

Seems their chops don’t have much on them. But they have plenty gravy. And runner beans from the garden.

[Clarrie] “We’ll be living off runner beans”

[Eddie] “Oh well, I can’t eat anything as long as it’s covered in gravy”

(hurrah! Couldn’t agree with you more, Eddie)

[Clarrie] “This must be the best diet I’ve ever been in”

It’s the worry. Clarrie’s not eating much.

But Joe has had a bright idea. If Clarrie does the car boots at the weekends – it’ll free up Eddie to get more gardening jobs.

And blow me down – Clarrie’s delighted. It’s a good idea, and a thoughtful one at that.

So Clarrie feels bright enough to eats a bit more dinner.

[Eddie] “I don’t want you to waste away to anything … min, you’ve got a good way to go!”

[Clarrie] “Hey, watch it Eddie Grundy, you’ll be cooking your own supper if you’re not careful, and I’ll be rationing the gravy”

[Eddie] “That’s more like it”

Indeed. Come on Clarrie - you're missed.

The Archers Friday 5th August 2011: Clarrie Resigns

• Washing Lampshades is never a good sign
• Lilian would have been more canny
• I really dislike James calling Lilian “Ma”
• Clarrie takes the bullet
• Lilian tells Matt
• Start a whip round for the Grundys?

Washing Lampshades is never a good sign

Which is what Clarrie is doing.

You know when you get to ‘those’ type of jobs, you’re actually heading for a meltdown.

Eddie is trying to do his best to keep Clarrie positive about those sick on hospital:

[Eddie] “I know it’s tough love, but you’ll see, they’ll be fine”

But he does tend to just offer the ‘chin up’ variety of support. Which, for something like this, doesn’t really cut it.

(sorry Eddie)


Lilian would have been more canny

Lilian was telling Pat that she was surprised Pat had done the Radio Borchester interview.

[Lilian] “You never know what they’re going to cut out”

Lilian also, very helpfully, told Pat that she came across a bit cold.

So – Pat should have gone to Lilian for her PR advice.

Actually, it would’ve been more use than the NFU advice.

And where is Brenda while all this has been going on?

At least Pat has Kathy to give her something positive. Kathy thought Pat did “really well”

[Pat] “I hardly sounded sympathetic, did I?”

[Kathy] “It was fine. You sounded very professional”

‘Fine’ is never a good review.

Looks like Eddie isn’t the only one not doing very well to support the walking wounded.


I really dislike James calling Lilian “Ma”

Actually, I just really dislike James.

He’s such a pretentious little toad. And normally the sort of chap Lilian would sniff out as such within seconds.

But there’s no accounting for a mother’s blind adoration.

James has returned – with Leonie.

*sigh*

I’d forgotten how irritatingly awful those two are together – they were bad enough singular!


Clarrie takes the bullet

After hearing the Radio Borchester interview, especially that Pat never mentioned how E. coli got into the diary in the first place, Clarrie goes round to see Pat.

[Clarrie] “It hasn’t been out of my mind for a second. I’ll never forgive myself for having let you down … you’ve been ever so good to me, even after all this. You could have just fired me, I deserved it … I know I’ll never be able to put right what I’ve done … I know I’ve got to resign. It’s the best for all of us”

[Pat] “I’ll accept your resignation, if I’m honest there’s not going to be much work in the diary anyway … if we can find our way out of this mess … I hope I’ll be able to offer you work here again”

So that’s that then.

I don’t suppose Pat could have said anything else – she has less work in the diary and Clarrie leaving does mean they can 100% say that the cause of the E. coli is no more.

But does this mean everyone will now know it’s all Clarrie’s fault?


Lilian tells Matt

Where to find the lime. Though he fails:

[Matt] “Lilian, I can’t find this ruddy lime”

So, he offers lemon instead.

Actually – Lilian does tell Matt what’s what over something a bit more important:

[Lilian] “I think they’re going to make an announcement … for goodness sake Matt , what do you think. You wondered why james was so friendly on the phone with you … there are some moments in this life that are more important than business … I’m putting my foot down”

James and Leonie have dropped heavy hints that both Matt and Lilian MUST be at the Garden Party, and with the mention of an announcement, course Lilian must think they’re about to get engaged.

Not that Matt will give a monkey about that. he’d still rather be at the barbeque doing business…


Start a whip round for the Grundys?

Eddie arrived home to not tea on the go (cheeky monkey for mentioning it) – but it does mean something odd.

Clarrie’s not doing anything. She’s just sitting.

She tells Eddie that she’s resigned.

[Clarrie] “I didn’t want to, goodness knows, but I’ve ruined everything”

She’s sorry she didn’t discuss and agree it with Eddie first, and that it’s going to mean very tight times for the Grundy household. They haven’t even paid last month’s electricity bill.

[Eddie] “Well, we’re just going to have to manage, ain’t we.

“Look, we’ve been through tough times before. We’ll get through this. We’ll just have to work that little bit harder. Nothing new. Don’t you worry, we’ll survive somehow”

I wonder if Tom will lose any sleep …

The Archers Thursday 4th August 2011: Radio doesn’t play fair with Pat

• Cheeky Facebook profile
• Bridge Farm loses more customers
• kd lang and Erasure
• Wheat to the rescue!
• Lynda’s affected
• Chris can start believing
• They didn’t mention Henry!

Cheeky Facebook profile

Harry’s profile picture is seemingly a picture of feet sticking out from a duvet.

And they are not his, nor Jazzer’s …


Bridge Farm loses more customers

Martin from the Deli has “searched his soul and can no longer stock”.

Even our lovely Ian has had to go to another supplier – though he says he’ll go back to Bridge Farm as soon as he can (when the publicity dies down, one would have thought).

So, as they have fewer customers – they will have to produce less – so will have to cut hours in the dairy.

That could come in as a useful excuse …


kd lang and Erasure

Is what Radio Borchester was playing before Pat’s interview was aired.

How very gay eighties.

(though I do love a bit of Erasure. They’ve matured very nicely – saw them recently at Thetford Forest)


Wheat to the rescue!

Tony reckons it could be their wheat would could save their bacon.

He didn’t mention Tom's sausages.

(geddit?!?)


Lynda’s affected

And calls Pat to tell her so, just as the Radio interview is about to be aired.

Bless Lynda.

One can never be sure if she’s being genuine, or just wants to be party to the drama.

But this time – she’s genuine.

She makes a point of telling Pat that she wants Bridge Farm cream for her party in Sunday. And Lynda will let everyone know that’s where the cream came from.

Good on ya.

Though it may mean many untouched strawberries …


Chris can start believing

Ronnie said yes to Plan B.

So that means Chris needs less money upfront, as he’ll just be buying the core business and renting the premises rather than having to buy it all.

Alice will be pleased.

Will Jennifer be as chuffed? Or will she just see this as another missed opportunity for Chris and Alice to break-up?


They didn’t mention Henry!

Pat is aghast!

Funnily enough – Radio Borchester edited Pat’s interview, leaving out the bits she said about having a grandchild, and how dreadful they all feel for the kiddies in hospital.

Worse still – they included an interview with the mother of one of the kids in hospital.

[Pat – very, very annoyed] “For god sake, I lost a child myself and for a while I thought we might lose Helen as well … people will think we don’t care … banging on about how excited we are to be open again, and meanwhile there’/s that frantic mother, and all I could offer was a mealy mouthed apology.

“This was meant to be a new positive start … instead when they hear Bridge Farm all they’ll think is E. coli and those poor children”

So will Bride Farm may be able to start production again – it looks like they’re far from being able to convince anyone that they’d want to buy from them.

Oh dear.

The Archers Tuesday 2nd August 2011: Matt’s got another excuse to avoid the Snells’ party

• Josh or Pip?
• Business for Matt’s birthday
• Matt’s also pondering Paulhill
• Fond memories and hopeful future at Brookfield
• Pat’s on the radio

Josh or Pip?

Astonishment at Brookfield as Josh is out of bed at a decent hour (during his holidays) AND he wants to helping with the milking.

In fact, he wants to do the milking everyday while he’s on holiday.

Of course, that’s somewhat about an increase in his pocket money – but also:

[Josh] “I’ve got a lot to learn if I’m going to be like you (David), Mum and granddad”

Josh is even worrying about what would happen if they ever had to get rid of the cows (unprofitable milk yields, and so on).

So now David has something new to worry about.

Pip wants to be on the farm. And would seem Josh also wants to be on the farm. That would mean Brookfield having to support a potential of three families.

[David] “I was hoping Josh would become a premiership footballer and keep us all in the lap of luxury”

Nae luck!


Business for Matt’s birthday

Classic Pusscat and Tiger moment:

[Matt] “you were dead to the world”

[Lilian] “Slumbering peacefully, I think you’ll find”

But back to business – which is what Matt wants to do on his birthday, rather than go to the Snells’ party.

Seems some bloke called Ken Dickinson (who happens to use golden tees during golf) is having a barbeque on Sunday. He’s a major developer, has invited Matt and Lilian – so Matt’s only too glad to insist they go to his shindig instead of Lynda’s.

[Matt] “Finally, I’ve been buttering him up for months”

[Lilian] “Do you really want to spend your birthday doing business?”

[Matt] “More so than having me brain numbed by Lynda”

Lilian really does want to go to the Snells – James (and Leonie) will be there.

[Matt] “He might be disappointed you can’t go, but it’s the first time he’s wanted to come within spitting distance of me”

But sounds like Lilian will give up James and the Snells for Matt’s business networking.

Well, it is his birthday …


Matt’s also pondering Paulhill

The plot does thicken.

Matt’s remembered that Darrell (the bloke who also wants to buy the Farrier business) is the brother of one of the contractors he and Lilian know. After a wee bit of digging, he finds out that Darrell is going through a messy divorce, and is having to sell his house.

[Lilian] “Well done Tiger, that’s very interesting news”

Indeed.

Can we assume Darrell also isn’t in a financial position to outbid Chris?


Fond memories and hopeful future at Brookfield

Ruth’s telling Josh about how his granddad (Phil) brought the black and whites to Brookfield, replacing the shorthorns that Josh’s great-grandfather (Dan) had.

Ruth also remembers her view from Nightingale Farm, when she first moved to Ambridge:

[Ruth] “I never imagined that view would become my life”

[Josh] “You really love the cows, don’t you mum?”

[Ruth] “Yeah, of course. I’ve put a lot of hard work into them … I suppose it’s those moments when you stand back and see a strong, healthy herd producing value food, it reminds you why you do it, you know”

Pat’s on the radio

Pat’s having her interview with Wayne Folley at Radio Borchester.

She finally gets her chance to say her heartfelt piece about the kiddies:

[Pat] “Genuinely, it’s been the worst aspect of all this. We’re a small family run business, my daughter has recently had a baby, it really does break all our hearts to imagine how worried those parents must be”

When she gets back from the interview (which wasn’t live – so it’s still to air), Pat finds out that they’ve definitely lost Underwoods as an account. It’s their biggest customer, so not good news.

Especially now that they’re able to start production again.

Will there be anyone to produce for?

The Archers Monday 1st August 2011: Bridge Farm’s back in business … sort-of

• Adrian and Sally are back
• Get Ed to talk to Radio Borchester
• Lilian appalled at Alice’s career path
• The Tom Archer brand must be protected
• Helen’s on Tom’s side
• Ronnie wants a barge
• Darrell Paulhill – who he?

Adrian and Sally are back

Them from Environmental health (where did Ken MacLeod go to? Does it take three to shut them down, only 2 to re-open?).

They take their time to do their checks of the freshly steamed Bridge Farm – to the point where Tony could do nowt but tend to his cabbages.

But no need to worry – Bridge Farm has been given the all clear.

[Pat] “The E. coli has been dealt with and we’re open for business”

Which is great news.

Doesn’t mean to say that everything’s back to normal, though.

With less orders coming in, Helen even suggests that they give up on making ice-cream in the short term.

Blimey.


Get Ed to talk to Radio Borchester

Radio Borchester call to ask Pat to be interviewed by Wayne Folley tomorrow.

I’m not sure if Wayne Folley is meant to be one of those Jeremy Vine (or even Jeremy Kyle) types, but Pat should ask Ed to do the interview.

Remember when he played a blinder when he was interviewed about TB in cows, a few years back?

I did help that the interviewer was a lady who seemed to be quite attracted to Ed …


Lilian appalled at Alice’s career path

Lilian bumps into Alice at Grey Gables. She assumes that Alice is also there for a bit of pampering – so is shocked when Alice tells her that she’s trying to find Caroline to ask for a job.

Lilian sounded quite disgusted at the idea of Alice being a Chamber Maid (even though she’s done it before):

[Lilian] “But changing people’s sheets …”

[Alice] “Oh it’s fine Aunty Lilian, don’t be such a snob”

[Lilian] “Me?”

Aye, you!

Needs must, Lilian.


The Tom Archer brand must be protected

Honestly, I never know why I’m ever surprised at Tom being a selfish, overbearing, arrogant bad man.

He’s yet again harassing Pat and Tony about sacking Clarrie.

But this time he openly admits that his precious ‘Tom Archer’ brand is at stake.

Fair enough – but he surely could have kept quiet about being worried about his wee sausages, when it’s actually decades of his parent’s work which is most at risk?

What a prat.


Helen’s on Tom’s side

That’s more like it.

Helen being quite clinical, practical and controlling.

Phew! I thought we’d totally lost her to Henry!

Helen agrees that they should sack Clarrie.

[Helen] “It would be a really strong statement that we’ve dealt with it”

[Tony] “I don’t care, I’m not turning Clarrie into a scapegoat .. it’s not the way I want to ruin this farm … Clarrie came back in good faith”

Ronnie wants a barge

Ronnie didn’t say no to Chris’ Plan B (of buying his core business, but only leasing the premises for the first while).

He listened. But, he was planning on buying a barge. So likely does want all the money upfront.

So he’s away to ponder it.



Darrell Paulhill – who he?

He’s the chap that’s also interested in buying Ronnie’s Farrier business.

Alice mentioned him to Lilian – and his name rings a bell for her.

Will Lilian be able to pull a fast one for Chris and Alice? If only to spot Alice having to change other people’s sheets …

The Archers Sunday 31st July 2011: Cushions, pans and crayfish

• What’s up with Joe?
• On no, not the Westbury Courier as well
• Will, don’t say that out loud!
• Clarrie drops a clanger
• Christine and Jim?
• Ambridge won the cricket again
• Goodbye Billy Goats Gruff
• Kenton’s crayfish annoy Will
• Clarrie Hara-kiri?

What’s up with Joe?

He hasn’t spoken in a while.

I’m a bit worried about him. He had his nasty cough, then hasn't been heard of much since.

Very reminiscent of Sid before he went off to New Zealand …

Anyway, probably just me making too wild a guess. Joe can’t be ill if the kids are allowed to put cushions on his head while he’s having 40 winks.


On no, not the Westbury Courier as well

Seems the Westbury Courier has also ran a big piece about Bridge Farm, E. coli, the sick kiddies etc etc etc

As Jim later says – today’s news is tomorrow’s chip papers – or just something to put your muddy shoes on.

But it’s not as simple as that in our modern days of TVs, radios and the internet. And not when there’s a kid that still might die.



Will, don’t say that out loud!

[Will] “If only she’d waited another day before going back into work …”

We all think it, but not helpful to actually voice it.

Clarrie drops a clanger

Quite literally. Though it was only a bunch of pans.

[Eddie] “She’s very upset … We all got to do our best to look after her”

(maybe Eddie could start with cooking her Sunday lunch for once)

Eddie wants Clarrie to come with the kids to Lower Loxley’s Garden Festival

[Eddie] “Or you could spend the afternoon reorganising the cupboards”

Surprisingly for Clarrie, she chooses a day out over the cupboards.


Christine and Jim?

Just good friends having a day out at the Garden Festival? Or romance?


Ambridge won the cricket again

With Christopher getting a half century.


Goodbye Billy Goats Gruff

Cheery-bye then. Slightly (yet another) damp squib, but at least it made George happy.

Kenton’s crayfish annoy Will

Kenton has sourced crayfish for The Bull’s menu from somewhere local, but he won’t tell Will where.

That can only mean it’s something to do with Brian’s land, surely?


Clarrie Hara-kiri?

Clarrie had a bit of a rough time at the Garden festival. Everyone was talking about Bridge Farm, without realising that the E. coli started with her.

She now thinks she should resign. She can’t stand that it’s all her fault, and can’t see how she could continue.

Eddie reckons she shouldn’t. he thinks that if that was what Pat and Tony wanted, that they would have sacked her by now.

Tough one indeed. If I was Clarrie, I would also want to resign. But the Grundy’s are hardly flush enough to cope with one less wage coming in. Joe would have to go back down the mines …

The Archers Friday 29th July 2011: Tom still wants Clarrie sacked

• When ‘Even bad publicity is good publicity’ isn’t true
• Wonder why Will hasn’t got a problem with Nic’s kids’ dad?
• “what’s to be cheerful about?”
• Matt shall go to the party
• Helen has a social life!
• Brenda and Tom tag team against Tony and Pat

When ‘Even bad publicity is good publicity’ isn’t true

Especially when your business has been linked to making kids sick …

(though I still don’t know why it’s not as important that the adults survive)

[Tom] “yet they’re convinced we’re still poisoning people”

Seems tourists in The Bull have also been checking with Nic about whether the ice-cream isn’t from ‘that’ E. coli farm.

So Tom’s back on about naming and shaming Clarrie – to “go public on how it happened”.

Brenda at first seemed to be urging caution:

[Brenda] “You will have to put up with the hostility if you name and shame Clarrie”

But after Tom rants on a bit more, calling Clarrie a “careless individual”, amongst other things:

[Tom] “We can’t afford to be sentimental”

Brenda completely sides with him:

[Brenda] “You can’t sacrifice Bridge’s Farm’s good name just to avoid hurting Clarrie’s feelings”

Well, that’ll be that then. Brenda is a highly experienced marketing professional. Surely Pat and Tony will listen to her reasoned, professional opinion?

Hmmm. Hasn’t Brenda mainly focused on flyers, handing out energy drinks and making coffee for Lilian and Matt since she graduated?


Wonder why Will hasn’t got a problem with Nic’s kids’ dad?

Just a ponder of mine.

I reckon Will uses all of his angry-Will-ness on Ed.


“what’s to be cheerful about?”

Seems Clarrie is still as depressed as when they ‘lost’ the farm – which is fair enough.

[Clarrie] “What’s to be cheerful about?”

Eddie’s doing his best to try and lighten her mood. Especially since she now has the all clear from being an E. coli carrier.

He encourages Clarrie to call Pat to tell her the good news – which she does do.

Bad timing, though. Pat’s right in the middle of arguing with Tom about his depends to name Clarrie. All Pat can say is that she will “be in touch very soon”.

Ouch.


Matt shall go to the party

Seems Lilian has managed to persuade Matt to go to Lynda’s garden party. Even though it’s the same day as his birthday.

The Snells. James and Leonie. The great and the good of Ambridge.

That’ll make Matt a very happy birthday boy.


Helen has a social life!

She’s off out to a mother and baby group.

Henry really is the making of Helen. Gone are the days of wine, DVDs and chocolate.

(I know I go on about that a lot – but it really was all Helen seemed to do over the last few years. Apart from Leon …)


Brenda and Tom tag team against Tony and Pat

[Brenda] “People don’t act rationally in these circumstances”

Brenda and Tom reckon that the picture of the little ill girl massively buried the Bridge Farm statement in the Echo. So it’s time to step up and reveal Clarrie as the culprit.

[Tony] “If we hang Clarrie out to dry, wouldn’t we lose the goodwill of the whole village?”

[Tom] “What’s more important? That we’re popular with the neighbours or that our farm has a future?”

Must admit Brenda and Tom do have a good point, but it’s Clarrie we’re talking about. And she didn’t mean it. And she’s doing a great job of punishing herself without anyone else’s help.

I reckon if she named, we could see the Grundy’s moving on from Ambridge …

The Archers Thursday 28th July 2011: Bridge Farm – the Child Killer?

• Milly Robson
• Sabrina tells Jim Lloyd to shut up
• Mr Foxy better scarper
• The bank manager says no
• Nic’s home
• What time is it in Las Vegas?

Milly Robson

Is nine, and is in intensive care after eating Bridge Farm ice-cream.

Pat’s obviously fretting over the folks that are still in hospital – she’s worried about her business, but she also would rather no-one died.

To add to her woe, she’s very aware that she could be sued.

[Pat] “I never imagined anyone might sue me because I hurt their child”

Helen’s not much help.

Pat asked her whether she would sue if something like this happened to her Henry – she said yes.

Which was the truth, but I think she could have lied. Just this once.

Course, Pat’s right that if they do get sued – it’ll mean court – and it’ll mean this won’t go away for years.

Oh Clarrie. If only …


Sabrina tells Jim Lloyd to shut up

Bridge Farm has been named (and shamed) in the Borchester Echo as the source of the E. coli outbreak.


They used the rather bland statement Tony had written – but also focused on the kids (and slight mentions of the adults) in the article.

Seems this prompted Jim to talk about how bacteria develops even more lethal forms. But he met with strong opposition for being rather unsupportive of Pat, Tony and co.

[Helen] “Sabrina told him to shut up in the end .. .told him he wasn’t helping”

On yersel Sabrina!


Mr Foxy better scarper

As Will’s going up after him with a shotgun.

Which is fair enough. Mr Foxy did get half a dozen of Will’s birds (without even asking!).


The bank manager says no

Chris was still not very confident about his meeting with his bank manager. He’s not sure whether he’ll be seen as “ambitious” or “merely out to lunch”.

Chris was right to be nervous.

His bank manager did say no.

Although he thought Chris has a very sound business idea, and wanted to support him, the bank couldn’t stretch to £200,000.

But the bank then gave Chris a plan B.

That Chris buys the core business from Ronnie (the client list, and such), but he only rents the premises, with an option to buy later.

So it’s now down to whether Ronnie will agree to that.

(and I must get the name of Chris’ Bank Manager. Stunning that he gave Chris an option – my Bank manager tends to say ‘no’ until he eventually relents after a few weeks of cajoling and shouting …).


Nic’s home

Nic is loving that her kid are turning into country kids:

[Nic] “And I never want to live anywhere else”

Which, as Will points out, is a complete change of heart from when Nic first moved to Ambridge.

Ah – welcome home indeed, Nic.


What time is it in Las Vegas?

Alice and Chris are waiting to start the celebrations of their first year anniversary when it hits the right time in Las Vegas.

They have something to celebrate with the bank’s agreement to a Plan B – so when the right time comes, they start a very private celebration …

The Archers Tuesday 26th July 2011: Tom wants to sacrifice Clarrie

• No flash holidays for Pip
• The press hounds blame the cows
• Sure about insurance?
• Does it matter that Clarrie didn’t do it on purpose?
• PR advice from the NFU …
• Poking drinkers with sticks?
• I’d forgotten about that stolen hay

No flash holidays for Pip

Pip’s looking at beaches in Tenerife – but she reckons she’s just dreaming.

[Pip] “We’re probably end up in a caravan in Tenby, like the Tuckers”

Nowt wrong with Tendy, missy.



The press hounds blame the cows 

The press have descended onto Bridge Farm.

Tony’s having to say no comment.

And as for Tom …

[Tom] “You can take a shotgun to the gentlemen of the press … I just ran into some spotty youth taking photographs of the cows … and when I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, he said ‘These are the cows, aren’t they … that supplied the milk that went into the ice cream’”

[David] “Oh good grief!”

[Tom] “I know! So now our cows are getting the blame and it was nothing to do with them … and nothing to do with the way the diary was run … just some idiot made a stupid mistake”

Sure about insurance?

David was over at Bridge Farm checking if he could be of any help to Pat and Tony (with NFU, family and mate hats on).

They reckon they are insured, but not for losses while the business is closed.

After having spent over 4 years trying to sort out an insurance claim myself, I wouldn’t even bank on the insurance covering anything.


Does it matter that Clarrie didn’t do it on purpose?

I’ll say from the off that I adore Clarrie. She has a rather rubbish life (at the hands of those Grundy men), but she always does her best for folks.

But … how much sympathy should we have for her considering she knew the 48 hour rule?

[Pat] “Obviously it was a mistake. There was no malice intended …”

Tom doesn’t care. He wants Clarrie sacked.

[Tom] “We must be seen to be taking this seriously, and that means being proactive … we tell the truth, we admit that the incident happened because an employee mislead us about the state of her health … but we have dealt with it and the employee has left the business”

Pat and Tony are horrified at the idea (and also aren’t sure if Clarrie has done anything that is actually a sackable offence). Pat also reckons she has ultimate responsibility as manager. She should have trained her staff better.

[Pat] “Besides, she’s my friend”

[Tom] “Oh come on mum. She’s wrecked our business!”

[Pat] “She made a mistake. Of course I’m angry with her. But I know Clarrie. I know she’ll be tearing herself apart over this”

[Tom] “So you’re just going to let her get away with it … she brings our business to its knees and you’re going to let her off the hook”

[Pat] “I’m not going to sacrifice Clarrie just to keep the press happy”

Tom is right that this is all Clarrie’s fault BUT I don’t see how sacking Clarrie will make any difference. The point to the punters is that there has been e. coli – they’re not going to care where or how it came from – not when there’s utterly safe alternatives to buy.

I’m with Pat on this one. Thought that really isn’t surprising – it’d take a lot for me to ever agree with Tom.


PR advice from the NFU …

Hmmm.

Not sure that that’s the first place I’d turn, if I was in Pat and Tony’s position.

But David is keen to encourage them to make a statement – even though they want listen to Tom’s pleas that they should mention it was Clarrie. Even though his sausages are now being questioned …

So Tony writes up the following statement (which doesn’t admit any liability – after all, folks may still die …)

“Bridge farm is a family farm, and for 20 years we’ve had an unblemished record of producing high quality dairy goods for local outlets. This is a single unfortunate incident which is still being investigated, and we’re doing all we can to cooperate with the health protection agency. We feel most sincerely for those people who have been affected by the E. Coli and hope they will all make a rapid and full recovery”

Fair enough, I suppose. But I also think it’s feels a bit corporate.

Surely Bridge Farm’s appeal is that it’s an independent, family business?

So why not sound like one?

I don’t think this will solve anything.


Poking drinkers with sticks?

Not a new past time for Fallon – just Pip trying to be useful round the farm …


I’d forgotten about that stolen hay

And that no-one was caught for it.

David’s slightly down (again, but not as bad as before) that they milk yield still isn’t on the up. But Ruth reckons it’s due to the dry spring (none of which I saw up my way), leading to the grass not being “luscious”, meaning they couldn’t make as much silage and they’ve had to buy in feed.

[David] “If we hadn’t had all that hay stolen, that was the start of it”

But they then look on the bright side.

At least they’re not Pat and Tony …

The Archers Monday 25th July 2011: No-one is buying ice cream or yoghurt

• Susan has had an empathy-otomy
• Clarrie has to go a whole 48 hours clear
• Will Clarrie get fired?
• Clarrie has to shop in town
• Cows or pants?
• Pat’s not happy twiddling
• Clarrie buys ice cream
• “Everyone’s going to think I’m some sort of mucky person”
• All prunes and no apricots
• Will, Ed, Emma standing together … smiling!

Susan has had an empathy-otomy

Many, many years ago …

Susan’s complaining to Neil that all Clarrie can talk about is that everyone at the Fete knew about the Bridge Farm E. coli outbreak.

Wonder what she thought Clarrie would be talking about?

Susan is also complaining about having to deal with everyone at the Fete talking about the E. coli outbreak.

[Susan] “I had to field some pretty pointed questions from Vicky Tucker yesterday”

And, Susan is complaining that she’s back at work – so surely everyone is going to guess that Clarrie is the E. coli culprit, as she isn’t back at work.

But there’s more …

… Susan then started talking about it is all Clarrie’s fault … but Neil isn’t having that.

[Neil] “She didn’t mean to do it, did she? … It’s easy to be wise after the event … Clarrie’s going to need her friends”

You hear that Susan? Be a friend.



Clarrie has to go a whole 48 hours clear

Clarrie has to go to environmental health with samples

[Clarrie] “I got to keep on doing it til I’m clear”

Seems she won’t be free until she’s free of E. coli. Two clear tests in 48 hours.

Insult to injury (but quite necessary, I suppose).



Will Clarrie get fired?

[Clarrie] “I don’t reckon she’ll ask me back”

Eddie is horrified – saying that they’d have to write to her first.

But Clarrie reckons that probably in the post.

Just how will the Grundys cope if there’s only one way coming in?

Could Joe get a job as a lollipop man?

I reckon it all depends on whether Pat calms down enough. Clarrie has been working at Bridge Farm for 16 years.

But then again, if profits dwindle due to a lack of sales, how long could Bridge Farm keep Clarrie on for anyway?


Clarrie has to shop in town

As she can’t cope to show her face in the village shop.

Though she still ended up bumping into Ivy Horrobin – who then told her that she’d seen Susan working in Ambridge Organics.

Wonder why Susan (her mate) never told Clarrie?

Goodness. This is awful.


Cows or pants?

Clarrie’s trying to work out where she could have picked up E. coli.

From a Grange farm cow?

[Eddie] “Clarrie, you don’t pick up E. coli from standing next to a cow”

Maybe Eddie’s work clothes?

I’d probably suspect his underwear. Especially as he just drops everything on the floor, and Clarrie has to then pick them up to be cleaned.



Pat’s not happy twiddling

Her thumbs.

They’re waiting for a company ready an available to steam clean the dairy.

Until then, they can make any more ice cream or yoghurt (and they’re out of strawberry already as it is).


Clarrie buys ice cream

But only the “cheap stuff” to keep Joe happy. He seemingly gets grumpy when there’s none in.

And how very ironic.


“Everyone’s going to think I’m some sort of mucky person”

Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re off the mark with that one, Clarrie.


All prunes and no apricots

Oh lordly. Susan has a whole new domain to whip into shape.

Ambridge Organics. She’s working there while the dairy is closed.

Susan isn’t impressed with the lack of customers (probably steady for the type of shop it is, but likely not as busy as a place where you can buy your newspaper and a marathon, like the village shop), and the lack of organisation.

[Susan] “We’ve got more prunes than you can shake a stick at, but no dried apricots”

Will, Ed, Emma standing together … smiling!

Vicky has taken the picture she took yesterday to Neil.

[Eddie] “I can’t remember the last time I saw Will and Ed in a photograph together … and smiling”

Susan’s also amazed to see Will and Emma standing together. Very much a “one for the album” moment.

I’m still disappointed that everyone lived happily ever after – troll-gate failed to deliver.

Like Eddie – I thought it’d be tears or a punch up.

Ach well.

Maybe next year.

The Archers Sunday 24th July 2011: The Dawn of the Scarecrows

• Clarrie’s not at the Village Fete
• Corinthia Hart is revealed to be …
• Chris is “not filled with glee”
• Eddie’s contribution to Troll-gate
• Tom tells Vicky
• Cooking kills E. coli
• Jumpy scarecrow with a Scottish accent
• Miss Moffat didn’t impress
• Susan’s back on form
• Scarecrow competition goes all Disney

Clarrie’s not at the Village Fete

Which says a lot. The E. coli shebacle is hitting her quite hard indeed.

[Will] “Pat had a right go at her on Friday”

[Nic] “ … just bad luck”

Though Susan, obviously relieved that the E. coli was nothing to do with her, isn’t quite as supportive.

[Susan] “There are still three people in hospital. Two of them children”

True enough. But don’t start me on the ‘what about the children’ attitude …



Corinthia Hart is revealed to be …

[Susan] “That dumpy little woman? … I’d imagined more like Joanna Trollope”

Seems Corinthia Hart is just an average woman in a Beige cardigan.

I’m not even sure if Corinthia Hart is a nom de plume.

Either way, she seems to be a person of no real consequence to Ambridge.


Chris is “not filled with glee”

At the thought of having to spend the day with Brian and Jennifer at Alice’s graduation.

Odd that he’s not even thinking about bumping into Chas again …




Eddie’s contribution to Troll-gate

Was a river to run under Will’s bridge.

Very clever.

Emma is not amused. Even if her bridge (built by Chris) is (so Emma says) better.


Tom tells Vicky

Not sure why Tom told Vicky about the E. coli being Bridge Farm’s fault, but at least he didn’t tell her about Clarrie.

That seems like a changed Tom.

Did he give birth and have a personality like his sister did?


Cooking kills E. coli

So says Tom.

So it’s more than safe to eat his burgers.

Sham not everyone at the Village Fete knew that. Vicky knew it, but some parents were tasking their kids away when they realised it was Bridge Farm burgers.

(actually … did Vicky buy a burger?)


Jumpy scarecrow with a Scottish accent

Seems one of the scarecrows was a real life one, that “shouts very loudly in a Scottish accent” while jumping out on walkers by.

That’ll be Jazzer then.

Wonder whose garden he was standing in?


Miss Moffat didn’t impress

[Susan] “Miss Moffat looms like a hunchback, and her tuffet isn’t much to talk about”

Susan’s back on form

She’s telling everyone she can that Mistress of the Paddocks was based on Brian.

Even Vicky.

Which means everyone will know.

BUT, to her credit, she also doesn’t tell anyone about Clarrie.

[Susan] “It’s a bit of a mystery. They’re still investigating”

Scarecrow competition goes all Disney

Lewis is judging the scarecrow competition.

He claims he found it hard to judge:

[Lewis] “so many amazing tableaux”

The runners up, “highly commended” are Little Red Riding Hood (in Grange Spinney – but I don’t know who), and Vicky’s Three bears.

And first goes to …. Drum roll … both sets of the Billy Goats Gruff.

Hmpf.

[Lewis] “There was nothing to choose between them”

Double hmpf.

That was a big build up for a fairy-tale ‘and they all lived happily ever after’ ending.

They even all said “cheers” as this eavesdropping episode closed (they were getting their photos taken).

Since when was all fair in love and scarecrow wars?

Yet another damp squib.

There’s been a few of them in late.

The Archers Thursday 21st July 2011: Clarrie!!! Gutted …

• Does Scruff like charcoal?
• “Little Bo Peep has lost her Llama”
• Llamas are looking svelte
• Clichéd blogs
• Sabrina can’t cope with the till
• Front Page Echo news
• Alice isn’t excited about going to Southampton
• Lovely Chris or gold digging Chris?
• “he earns a pretty decent screw”
• Jennifer has Susan, Lilian has Lynda
• Ellie Burton
• The verdict of environmental health?

Does Scruff like charcoal?

Bet no-one’s even asked him.

The things a dog has to go through to let the people he allows to live with him have a nice lawn.

Well, nice enough.

The buttercups and the creeping cinquefoil are still playing havoc with Lynda and Robert’s lawn – even if Scruff’s scorch marks are no more.



“Little Bo Peep has lost her Llama”

Seems little Bo Peep has go into her own enclosure as they Llamas are “interested” in her.

But Lynda remains positive.

[Lynda] “The Llamas can play part of her flock”

[Lilian – chortling and guffawing] “Little Bo Peep has lost her Llama!”

(I’ve said it before – but I do love a titter from Lilian)

[Robert] “Well, it ruins the rhyme scheme doesn’t it!”

[Lynda – almost sniffing] “Since we have got any sheep on the premises …

([Robert, trying to interrupt] “it’s a joke Lyndee”)

[Lynda] “ … it seems to me a perfectly acceptable compromise”

Llamas are looking svelte

According to Lilian.

They’re also not looking as pink.

Lilian was asking if they’d caught the culprits. Robert reckons they should forget it – Lynda doesn’t sound like she’ll give up anytime soon.

Jamie’s not quite out of trouble as yet, it would seem.



Clichéd blogs

James and Leonie have been writing a blog while on holiday in Dubai.

Lilian thought it was marvellous – all that shopping!

Lynda and Robert weren’t as impressed:

[Lynda] “I’ve never read such an over blown collection of clichés in my life … I can see the point of a holiday blog if you’re kayaking up the amazon or something, but if all you’re doing if hanging out in a shopping mall in the middle of the desert …”

Clichéd blogs?

Wonder where one can find those …?


Sabrina can’t cope with the till

In the village shop. Which didn’t come as much of a surprise to Helen.



Front Page Echo news

“mystery bug strikes gymkhana”

There’s two children in hospital. Three adults in serious condition.

Which is worse than Pat and Helen had heard from environmental health.

But it’s odd – even Lynda hadn’t worked out the connection between that front page news, and Bridge Farm having to recall its products.


Alice isn’t excited about going to Southampton

I’ll bet she isn’t.


Lovely Chris or gold digging Chris?

Lilian reckons “lovely”, Jennifer isn’t so sure:

[Jennifer] “He seems to think … well, his mother does, that we should be picking up the tab … I knew this would happen. I said when they got married I bet the Horrobins are rubbing their hands with glee … she practically had the begging bowl out.

“Pattern for the future … Chris expecting a leg up every step of his career … of course we’ll support Alice …”

That’s not right, Jennifer.

You’ll have to accept that Alice is married to Chris – so she’ll rise and fall alongside him.

And Chris doesn’t expect your money.

[Lilian] “I don’t think you should blame the lad for his mother being a bit crass”

Quite right, Lilian.



“he earns a pretty decent screw”

What does that mean, Lilian?

Is that jail talk that you’ve picked up from Matt?




Jennifer has Susan, Lilian has Lynda

As do we all (our crosses to heave around).

Lilian is a definite for Lynda and Robert’s garden party. As Leonie and Jamie will be there.

She’s not as sure about Matt attending, though.

He’s keep a very (very) low profile.


Ellie Burton

Who runs a tea shop in Penny Hasset, is a bit upset about having to return Bridge Farm stock – but she’s coping.

Phew!



The verdict of environmental health?

Adrian Pegg calls to tell Bridge Farms his findings.

[Adrian] “ E. coli has been found in one particular batch of ice cream”

Oh dear.

Seems there was nothing wrong with the pasteuriser, or any of the other equipment (Susan will be relieved). And the cleaning was “satisfactory”

[Helen] “So, where did it come from?”

[Adrian] “Appears … may have been …The ,member of staff who been sick and return to work while still infected by the pathogen, she must have handled the post pasteurisation ice cream … the sample that she gave us still shows traces of E. coli”

[Pat] “Clarrie”

[Adrian] “Yes. Clarrie Grundy”

Oh bugger.

Of all the people, not Clarrie.

She’s such a gem. The woman manages to keep the Grundy men without their house being closed off as a health hazard (and that takes some doing!).

But, she should have waited 48 hours.

And she shouldn’t have eaten Eddie’s sausages.

Who is to blame?

Clarrie?

Eddie?

Whoever made those sausages …

The Archers Wednesday 20th July 2011: The Village shop is empty of stock

(that’s why no-one is buying anything, Susan – not a boycott. People go into shops to buy stuff. If you don’t have anything to buy, they don’t come in. Simple)

• Susan thinks it her
• And a bridge!!!
• Not a family affair
• Run on digestive biscuits
• Chas shall return?
• Diplomas Vs Degrees
• Susan isn’t very subtle
• Pip wants Adam to market lambs
• Fishing without a rod?
• Milk (and David) is down again

Susan thinks it her

Clarrie thinks the E. coli (allegedly) at Bridge Farm is her fault.

Now Susan reckons it could be her fault.

They both feel guilty that they’re sitting around being paid when they’re not working.

But Susan is now worried that the “residue in the cream separator” is to blame, as it was her job to keep it clean.

Well, she should be.

Seems she might not have noticed the residue had been building up for weeks.

Minger.



And a bridge!!!

I thought one goat was interesting.

Three goats – made sense, but getting a wee bit immature.

But Emma is taking this too far.

[Neil] “Well it’s all getting a bit silly … I really should have said no”

She’s now tried to get Neil to make her a bridge.

But for Neil, the extra two goats was two goats too far – so there’s no chance of a bridge.

But not to worry – Emma has just charmed (or bullied?) Chris into building it.

Troll. Three goats. Bridge.

What is there left for Will to now make to keep up?



Not a family affair

Peggy hasn’t been told about bridge Farm’s woes.

Also seems Jennifer hasn’t’ a clue.



Run on digestive biscuits

The fridges in the Village shop are empty – which means no cream, yoghurt or ice cream.

Seems that Ambridge residents turn to digestive biscuits when they can’t get dairy …

No luck for Jennifer, though. She can’t even get digestives. Seems Vicky bought the last two packets.



Chas shall return?

It’s Alice’s graduation next Monday.

Which means Alice, Chris, Brian, Jennifer and co. have to return to Southampton.

Oo-er.

Wonder if Chas will be there.


Diplomas Vs Degrees

Jennifer and Susan had a bit of a face off about their respective kid’s academic/vocational achievements.

Jennifer poo poos Chris’ diploma.

Susan doesn’t actually demean Alice’s degree – but she does point out that Chris has a great career, great job, could be buying his own business soon.

Which neatly takes us onto …



Susan isn’t very subtle

[Susan] “Anyone investing would be guaranteed a very good return on their money”

Jennifer hears that, takes her to her heels, and drives off to ‘town’ to do her shopping rather than cope with Susan in the village shop.

Neil later gave Susan a bollocking:

[Neil] “But talking about money Susan … it’s like asking how much someone earns .. .you just don’t”

[Susan] “Now, it seems like everything I touch goes bad”

No Susan.

It’s not your touch.

It’s that mouth of yours …



Pip wants Adam to market lambs

through Hasset Hills.

Seems David won’t even entertain the idea.


Fishing without a rod?

David saw Josh heading off with a large back pack and a plastic bucket, but without a rod.

Something to do with (what I reckon is) a crush on Kirsty.




Milk (and David) is down again

The milk yield at Brookfield is down again.

[David, doing his best Victor Meldrew impression, but meaning it] “Oh, I don’t believe it”

David starting talking about how he wants to jack it all in – what’s the point – what are they supposed to do next.