The Archers: Jazzer still isn't tidy ... Jill joins the computer lessons ... Kathy and Jamie row ... Kathy and Pat drink wine
- “How Jazzer can drive the milk van safely is beyond me”
- Why was Fallon so affronted?
- “You have to be firm with him – he’ll come back wagging his tail anyway”
- Harry’s got a threesome
- Shandy!
- Peggy really wants a bit of Con
- “not everything is about you”
- First mention of Christmas shopping
“How Jazzer can drive the milk van safely is beyond me”
Harry is discovering that Jazzer doesn’t need much sleep.
“He’s like a shark … and I still can’t get him to do the washing up”
Well, come on now Harry – when was the last time you saw a Shark get a pair of rubber gloves on?!?
Why was Fallon so affronted?
After Harry telling Fallon all about Jazzer’s habits, Fallon was utterly seething.
So, Jazzer is a shark that won’t go near marigolds. So, Jazzer leaves his dirty clothes in a bin next to the toilet. So, Harry feels:
“dirtier after I come out of the bathroom than when I went in”
What’s any of that to Fallon?
She gets so het up, demanding Harry creates a rota (oh my giddy aunt!), that even Harry remarks:
“Blimey – it’s a good job he didn’t move in with you!”
I think Fallon is increasingly falling for Mr Harry Mason’s charms, so sees any insult on his honour (well … his flat), as a slight on her.
“You have to be firm with him – he’ll come back wagging his tail anyway”
Just following on from Fallon’s odd behaviour over Jazzer’s lack of domestic skills, what on earth was she on about when she said the above?
Has Jazzer ever wagged his tail?
Or, does this give us more insight into Fallon maybe not being the all-round good lass that we think her to be.
Has she just been treating mean/keeping keen Jazzer all these years?
Harry’s got a threesome
And wasn’t it nice of Peggy to share him with Jill.
But to be serious – I found it lovely to eavesdrop in on Peggy and Jill having a chat.
It was like coming in from a horrible winter’s storm (anyone shouting at each other in Ambridge) to a lovely warm fire, with a wee toddy close to hand.
But, it was sad to hear Jill mention that she might go to the Panton auditions because
“it would be nice to be involved in over Christmas”
The first Christmas without Phil. Here’s hoping Jill’s family don’t forget she’ll need that extra bit of festive TLC.
Shandy!
What’s wrong with Jamie?
Come on – shandy, two (TWO!) pepperoni pizzas, a Hawaiian pizza, chips and dips (which I really hope Kathy meant actual chips, cause it’d have been ‘crisps’ otherwise).
There’s a right teenage riot setup for you!
But of course, it isn’t cool if mum made it happen.
So we’re back to bad communication between Kathy and Jamie yet again.
Kathy said Jamie could have his mates over. He grunted. She assumes. He grunts again. She makes an effort. He’s still grunting. She shouts. He goes out.
I though Kathy was making a bit too much out of Jamie having nae mates – but it’s typical of her seeing everything he does as an attack on her, rather than it just being his life.
Poor chap had to go over Fallon’s to watch DVDs to escape his mum, and exactly because he has next to no mates.
I’d almost feel sorry for the wee lout …
Peggy really wants a bit of Con
As Jill and Peggy silver surf the internet, Peggy is once again on about her long lost American GI Con.
My word. We are keen!
With Harry’s help, Peggy has worked out Con’s old army unit, and has sent email to his veterans association.
“I suppose it is easier than ever to track someone down”
Uh-huh.
It’s also called ‘stalking’
At least Peggy does mention that she’ll tell Con about Jack (though it didn’t sound like it’d be in the context of ‘I’m already taken).
And there is something nice about Peggy acting like a teenage girl, checking her emails every day in case of a reply.
Kinda scary, but kinda cute as well.
“not everything is about you”
Hurrah Pat!
Well said, if you were a bit tardy in saying it. Months ago would have been perfect.
After not being able to get the extra pizzas into her freezer, Kathy invites Pat over.
Alongside the moaning and groaning from Kathy, I think Pat actually made a breakthrough:”
“He’s a teenager Kathy … they have mood … not everything is about you or Kenton or even his dad”
“You’re his mother you’ll never do anything right”
“Perhaps you should spend a bit of time on yourself”
While, seconds later, resulted in Kathy saying
“If Jamie doesn’t want to spend time with me, I may as well spend time on myself!”
Yikes! Is Kathy moving on? Letting go? About to have fun?
For starters, Pat and her are going to take a whole afternoon off to go shopping.
Phew!
First mention of Christmas shopping
As much as I love Ambridge, that wasn’t fair or right.
The Archers: Jazzer moves in with Harry ... Vicky faces Ed ... Peggy's second lesson with Harry
- "even a pig ark is bigger than this"
- Men on bikes?
- Jazzer 'two plastic bags' McCreary
- Widows get a basket of produce
- To give Vicky credit ...
- "Scrub calves!"
- "Call yourself a farmer? I wouldn't trust you to run a pets corner!"
- Google, perchance?
"even a pig ark is bigger than this"
So there's a surprise. Jazzer's not impressed with his room at Harry's.
Despite Harry trying to tell Jazzer that
"space is all relative",
the box room does sound teeny. It's not even small enough to have a bed - Jazzer has to make do with a futon (which has to stay up as a sofa if he wants to move around at all).
Alarm bells are sounding already with Harry mentioning to Jazzer that he "might want" to leave his shoes in the hall ...
"we'll get along fine ... Jazzer old son"
I very much doubt it, Harry me old mate.
Men on bikes?
It'd be a bit clumsy to deduce anything from Harry having pictures of last year's Tour de France up in his box room (now Jazzer's bedroom), but what else would be the point of it, in this context?
Harry claims the pictures were to:
"add a touch of colour, a bit of class"
Jazzer's response:
"if I do have to live in a shoe box, I don't plan to share it with a bunch of pumped up guys in lyrca"
The obvious response to all of this would be to assume Harry might be gay.
It would explain why he's shown little interest in Fallon (isn't she supposed to be a bit of a looker?), though it wouldn't explain his interest in Nic.
It might also explain why he's gone to such lengths to be a useful part of the village. Maybe he thinks Ambridge still burns gay men (or lesbians) at the stake, so best to be integrated before the big reveal?
Hmmmm.
I'm not convinced.
Maybe this was more about Jazzer being a bit of an insecure lout, than anything about Harry.
Making a point of saying how he'll put up
"some fine wee lassies",
and how his toiletries amount to a toothbrush and a razor - maybe Jazzer actually doth protest too much?
Jazzer 'two plastic bags' McCreary
Aw!
Jazzer can fit all of his worldly possessions into (which sounded like) two plastic carrier bags.
What a wee shame.
Still, if he didn't spend so much down The Bull ...
Widows get a basket of produce
That seems to be the case during the Harvest sermon at the church.
Jill was given once as she's been recently widowed.
I’m not sure whether I'd be touched or embarrassed (and upset), in her place.
To give Vicky credit ...
... she does at least her the nerve to face Ed to tell him that she's failed to sell any veal (apart from a wee bit to Ian).
And she kept her cool when Ed basically said 'I told you so'.
Though she doesn't entirely accept that it was a doomed to failure plan:
[Vicky] "how could we know till we tried?"
[Ed] "It's just common sense!"
Despite Ed getting quite blatantly more and more angry, Vicky continues to blunder on - now suggesting that they keep the calves for breeding bulls.
Which leads us to:
"Scrub calves!"
[Ed] "scrub calves! They're not good enough! They're not fit for anything!"
How did Vicky explode when Ed called her beloved calves "scrub"!
Quite suddenly, she went from slightly humble, to furiously righteous:
[Vicky] "It's a failure .. because I couldn't guarantee continuity of supply! ... if you'd shown a bit more guts and imagination ..."
[Ed] "either way, it's a stupid idea"
[Vicky] "you just think you know it all!"
[Ed] "you must be away with the fairies!"
Al of which results with:
"Call yourself a farmer? I wouldn't trust you to run a pets corner!"
Ouch! That final verbal blast from Vicky must have somewhat bruised Ed.
When Vicky later retells the rather unsightly scene between herself and Ed to Mike
"my lovely boys ... scrub calves!"
Demanding that Mike takes her side, and to tell Ed that
"before he gets anything from me ... I'll proper detailed invoice and an apology"
What's the chances of either of those being forthcoming from Ed?
While Vicky does owe him money for the upkeep of her "lovely boys", her frothing rant won't make Ed keen to be nice to her anytime soon.
Poor Mike, stuck in-between.
If only he hadn't pandered to Vicky's whims in the first place.
Google, perchance?
Harry was showing Peggy how to use 'one of the most popular search engines".
The first thing Peggy wants to look up is Alzheimers.
Which was a bit of a sad moment, as Peggy also mentioned that everything with Jack might have been a bit different if she'd has access to the wealth of information on the internet before now.
Very true. Peggy could have found more advice and support.
Peggy's GI is back!
Well - not really. He's not back in body, but it looks like he is well and truly back in Peggy's mind.
As Harry shows Peggy how to look people up, and despite saying that she'd be able to have few friends on Facebook (as they'll either have forgotten her or are ... well ... dead), Peggy does want to look up Con Korchmar (sp?).
Will Peggy find her lost love?
And if she does, what will happen (considering that her husband is still actually alive)?
The Archers: Vicky's off to Birmingham ... Jazzer and Brenda fight over a slice of ham ... Peggy gets computer lessons ... Mike has a cunning plan
- How many of you wished you could turn Vicky's voice off?
- "This is the full Monty"
- Breed!
- Peggy gets a gold star!
- A roaring trade in pasties
- "It's like having a stray dog in the house"
- Does Harry really know what he's letting himself in for?
- The meat supplier says ...
How many of you wished you could turn Vicky's voice off?
Worried about the directions to her big meeting in Birmingham, Vicky didn't want to use her sat nav because:
[Vicky] "she just annoys me ... I end up shouting at her"
[Mike] "you could always turn the voice off"
I actually don't mind Vicky all that much (though she's far from one of my favourite residents), but I could hear many Archers Eavesdroppers wishing they could turn Vicky off just as easily!
"This is the full Monty"
Vicky on how big and important her potential veal client is:
"this isn't just your backstreet butcher, or half baked pie maker - this is the full Monty!"
Phew! That's a whole lotta nonsensical waffling m'lady!
And it would seem everything hangs on this client taking an order. As everyone else (apart from Ian and his 'best cuts') has said 'no'.
[Vicky] "you wouldn't believe how picky these people can be!"
Hmmm.
A tiny new supplier with a product there's no demand for.
Vicky really doesn't get this whole business thing, does she?
Breed!
Which is Scottish for bread.
Which Jazzer ate.
Which left Brenda with none to eat.
Oops.
Jazzer's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.
Making an effort to be clean, he still gets screeched at by Brenda for eating what she reckons was her lunch.
[Jazzer] "tom just said to come and help myself"
[Brenda] "you cleaned us out ... I don't want your sandwich. I want my own! You greedy pig!!!"
Now, I think Brenda was making far too much of a fuss over what was basically one slice of ham and a bit of bread.
Jazzer didn't expect her to come home for lunch:
"They let you out for dinner then eh? Con man Crawford and his missus"
And I think he was quite right to leg it as Brenda's rant reached a peak.
Brenda just doesn't want Jazzer around. Tom's being his usual blinkered self. Jazzer can't win.
Peggy gets a gold star!
Was it just me, or was Harry a tad patronising towards Peggy?
Why was he so surprised that Peggy could touch type, when typewriters have most definitely predate computer?
(but I will admit that Harry is starting to irk me. Just what is his angle?)
Peggy did actually sound like she knew what she was doing - maybe she just wanted to spend some one-on-one time with the hunky milkman?
Harry also sounded like he was enjoying his time with Peggy. Though it wasn't anything other than pupil/teacher appreciation:
"she's amazing isn’t she - a real super gran!"
And will we see Peggy on Twitter and Facebook soon? She sounded enthused by the idea of social networking, though I have a nasty suspicion she could end up downloading films without actually paying for them ...
Peggy wasn't so sure about things like Skyping. She thinks seeing someone you love, when they're actually far away, actually makes it harder.
Especially on kids.
Was that yet another dig at Kate?
A roaring trade in pasties
Never mind veal, Vicky and Tom should be battling over pasties!
Will had one the other week, now Mike has to make do with one after giving his lunch to Brenda.
(and I bet Brenda used to steal lunch money off the other kids at school. After all, she's happy to steal an older man's lunch!)
"It's like having a stray dog in the house"
What?
Since when were strays dogs "idiots" with "no respect, no consideration"?
If Brenda had meant Jazzer had cowered in a corner, piddled on the carpet, then ripped open a few cushions, I could have understood.
But that just didn’t work, Brenda.
Does Harry really know what he's letting himself in for?
Mike's plan to get Jazzer out of Brenda's life, is to foist him on Harry.
And Harry seems quite happy at the prospect.
Why oh why oh why???
Is this all part of Harry's plan, or is he just that dense?
Surely he can't have failed to notice that Jazzer hates him, and will make his life (and home) a living hell?
With Jazzer completely cornered - Brenda's given him until the morning to get out, and Harry has a room - he has no choice but to bed down in Harry's pad.
"it’s a great little room jazz, and you’d be just the man to fit it"
(queue the music for The Odd Couple!)
The meat supplier says ...
... no!
[Vicky] "it was horrible ... he said no ... he doesn't want it ... no continuity of supply ...demand ..."
[Vicky] "it's no god Mike. I’ve failed. I can't sell it. we should never have kept those calves"
Oh dear. I actually feel a bit sorry for Vicky.
The Archers: Jazzer's making a mess of it ... Jamie’s in trouble (part 337, Season 89) … Harry is odd
- Jazzer brought a mate home ...
- ... who wears tights
- Steady on Harry!
- "fun, brilliant things for folks to do after the harvest supper"
- Harry and the Silver Surfers
- A fresh start that went rotten after seconds
- Sir Harry
Jazzer brought a mate home
And Brenda's not too happy about it. Not happy about it at all.
Although Jazzer brought his mate back, he managed to do so quietly enough not to wake Tom or Brenda.
"I didnae want tae make a rumpus"
Which surely is a good thing, but I suppose it made the surprise of the mess in the morning all that more unexpected and annoying.
Jazzer had to sniff the remnants of the take away to remember what it was ("chicken korma"), Brenda was especially unamused to sniff the remnants of smoking
Brenda was starting to sound a bit like Helen, and Jazzer had a point
"you cannae always be on parade"
but making Brenda so unhappy so soon was not clever. Especially when she quite often has the casting vote when it comes to household matters.
... who wears tights
I really do think some of the Ambridge residents need to get out more.
Whoever said that Jazzer's mate was a bloke?
And can't blokes wear tights.
(erm .. actually that doesn’t work. The next question would be why the bloke took off the tights. As well all know, Jazzer's strictly a ladies man).
Either way, Jazzer's made a mess at Tom and Brenda's, and has also been caught taking a young lady back.
Brenda was most decidedly odd about it. That she was angry to find the tights was understandable (to a degree), but why the fuss over when she found them:
"under the settee, at dinner time"
Did it matter that it was dinner time? And what on earth was Brenda doing under the settee while having said dinner.
Bizarre.
[Jazzer] "she's a sweet wee lassie but she still lives with her ma .. and I’m trying to wean her off the fags, even bought her nicotine patches"
[Brenda] "I don’t want to interfere with your love life but I don’t want it all over my settee"
Actually - Brenda does have a very going point to make about love life and settees.
But what's the solution?
Jazzer gets kicked out, or Jazzer goes celibate?
Steady on Harry!
"just a half of coke"
Phew! I'm glad he didn’t push the boat out and go for a whole pint. Can you imagine how hyper he'd have got with all that sugar!
"fun, brilliant things for folks to do after the harvest supper"
The answer is seemingly bar games.
That'll really 'wow' the punters.
I suppose Harry's idea is probably just right for the type of clientele who'll be looking for fun and frolics after the Harvest Supper.
So it's a "proper tournament" of dominoes, bar skittles and a ha'penny board.
Do we sense Jim trying to win back some ground after his failures at the Flower & produce Show and the recent pub quiz?
Either way, we should all be very thankful that they dismissed the karaoke idea so quickly.
Unless, of course, it’d mean we’d get to hear Jazzer’s wonderful signing again (and still no sign of it on iTunes. You’d have thought a canny lad like Jazzer would have had it straight up there!).
Harry and the Silver Surfers
(wonder if JK Rowling wants that for a book title?!?)
Harry's next idea for We Love The Bull is to use The Bull's computers to give 'older' folks lessons in how to use computers.
Not a bad idea at all.
But hardly as outstanding as Fallon gushed:
"that's fantastic ... you’re so creative ...you're wasted on that milk round"
Yup. I get the distinct impression Fallon's falling for Harry. Too little to late (or even too little and not remotely reciprocated?!?).
A fresh start that went rotten after seconds
After all of her 'friends' trying to help yesterday (I noticed Pat wasn't trying to foist her shoulder onto Kathy, which is the sign of true friend), Kathy has yet another attempt at trying to calm her relationship down with Jamie.
It was a very one sided "fresh start", with Kathy asking for better communication
"like normal families do"
(Eh? I think Kathy and Jamie have a very 'normal' mother/teenage son relationship - lots of shouting and slammed doors - sounds quite right).
Jamie, as per, was grunting his consent just to get Kathy to be quiet for a moment.
Then Kathy finds a letter from Jamie's school. Can you guess what's next? Jamie certainly did. He ran out of the door faster than a greyhound who has spotted a real rabbit.
When she later tracks him down, it’s to give him a bollocking.
Jamie’s had three unauthorised absences over the last few weeks, and has lows standards of “attitude” and “behaviour”.
Which means a trip to the school for both Kathy and Jamie to get shouted at by his teacher, which will lead to Kathy shouting at Jamie, Jamie shouting back …. Sound familiar?
I do feel for Kathy. Jamie’s being a complete numpty, especially considering he has his exams this year.
And, as Kathy pointed out, bunking off is against the law.
Which could mean Kathy ‘doing time’.
Question is – how does she stop Jamie behaving like this?
And how does she does that before she gets arrested?!?
Sir Harry
I know it's unfair to be suspicious of someone who never drinks, but there has to be something more to Harry than he's letting be seen.
Jazzer's on at him again for being so 'helpful'
"are you after a statue on the green ... Sir Harry ... the man who saved the bull"
but he does have a good point to make.
Why is Harry so determined to do god deeds? His We Love The Bull campaign, endless great ideas to help out the very unimaginative Fallon and Jolene, and now him giving up some spare time to teach Silver Surfers ... what's the catch?
Harry has once bitten back at Jazzer, and he was decidedly smug when Brenda brandished those tights.
"Jazz ... you are so busted"
Harry’s glee was palpable. Which wasn’t not an attractive sound for him.
Harry is right to bite back, enough considering all the grief Jazzer hands out to him, but did I sense a touch of 'not so nice Harry'?
