Pondering The Archers: farmhouse breakfast week

She’s saying that to Brian who, after hearing from Jennifer that folks think he’s hiding, has made a point of coming in for a pint.

He’s asking Jolene what folks have been saying about the Super Dairy, but Jolene has her landlady code.

To kill or cure the badgers?

The NFU, chaired by David, arte having their meeting at The Bull upstairs to discuss badgers.

Mike already sets his stall out.

He doesn’t want to vaccinate. He reckons he had to get out of dairying because of badgers.

Oliver, on the other hand, has been to see another area who has been vaccinating. Seems that it has been a success – fourfold reduction in badgers testing positive.

To vaccinate – they need to put down traps, which are hidden from sight, numbered and recorded, unlocked and left with peanuts in. When the badger is in there, it gets vaccinated, stock marked, recorded and released. Which comes at a £7,911 year cost annualised, per hectare £51 to £38 pounds, and £62 per field per hour.

Even after hearing the numbers – and it’d be them, the farmers, having to get up early to check the traps – they all vote to start vaccinating.

Blimey!

Oliver must have been very persuasive.

Though Mike still isn’t convinced.

And David is saying nothing. Seems he can’t, as NFU Chair … he must have drawn blood biting his lip!

So next step is to get a dozen landowners to share the cost (good luck, Brian reckons), and Ed will go on a course.

The badgers will be happy.

Jolene jealous of Jaxx?

It’s only the first time Jaxx has done Farmhouse Breakfast Week – and they’re doing a storm!

Although someone else a few days ago said The Bull was also busy with Farmhouse Breakfasts, sounds like Jolene thinks Jaxx is doing better.

Uh-oh.

Trouble for the young lovers?

Jim doesn’t see Harry’s sex appeal

Jim is still on the hunt for Promises for the Britain in Bloom fundraising.

He’s a bit annoyed that he’s getting non-specific Promises from folks.

Like Harry.

Seems he’s said he’ll do four hours of gardening. Jim doesn’t feel that’s detailed enough.

[Jim] “He’s a nice enough young chap, but it’s not as if he had anything special to offer”

[Jolene] “Well, I wouldn’t say that”

[Harry] “Has he hidden talents that I don’t know about?”

[Jolene] “He wouldn’t appeal to you, but I think he’ll attract a lot of bidders. Kirsty is already saving …”

[Jim] “Kirsty? But she’s in the wildlife trust, she can’t possibly need any help in her garden”

As, bless Jim. He may be The Prof, but he doesn’t spot a woman in heat!

Wonder if Kirsty is buying Harry for Fallon?

Hard to tell. Though we have heard from Fallon over Christmas time, Kirsty has been quiet of late, and Harry hasn’t been heard of since he bagged Zofia (though Zofia went back home ages ago).

Even 5 pints doesn’t buy Brian friends

Brian was at part of the badger meeting, but left before the end to get the pints in for ‘the lads’. Well, he’d only stumbled over the meeting anyway. And didn’t exactly find it riveting:

[Brian] “It livened up when someone suggested should just be able to shoot!”

Though Brian was in to show face and canvass ‘neutral’, he ends up with a Jim Vs Brian round 2 while the meeting was finishing:

[Jim] “I’m surprised you’re even taking an interest. Those cows in your dairy won’t even get to see the light of day, let alone a badger … the highest standards of an internment camp … prisoners are well fed, but they can still go mad when they’re locked up 24 hours a day.”

[Brian] “This is illogical. We’re not cows!”

[Jim] “Indeed we’re not. We have the gift of intelligence … what you’re proposing is philosophically untenable, the end justifies the means have never been the logical argument”

When David, Ed and Oliver come down from the meeting, they leave Brian to go and talk badger.
Brian starts talking to Mike – who seems to be in favour of the Super Dairy.

But then Mike does off to play darts with Darrell.

Leaving Brian alone.

[Brian] “They took their drinks and ran. I seem to be having that effect on people this evening … art least I can tell Jenny I tried. One for, one against”

Maybe if Brian was a bit more subtle, and less of a bore droning on about the Super Dairy, maybe folks would stop to talk to him.

Friday, 28 January 2011

The Archers Sun 23rd Jan 2011: The Bull’s Farmhouse Breakfast

Now Neil returns
A new dawn for Brenda and Vicky?
Harry is in a stew about haggis
Kate’s back (grrrrrrrr!)
I wonder what Ruairi’s accent would have been like …
Kenton and Jolene bond over toast
Molly has mushrooms
Quarter Peal *sniff*

Now Neil returns

That’s odd.

Months of Susan and Vicky – no Mike and Neil.

Now Mike and Neil return (more or less) together.

That must be one big attic they’re being kept in.

A new dawn for Brenda and Vicky?

Brenda had a grand birthday thanks to Vicky – has she really “turned the corner” in beginning to accept (and even like) her step-mum?

Harry is in a stew about haggis

Silly muppet.

They’re not meant to be stewed.

Kate’s back (grrrrrrrr!)

Actually – steady on (I tell myself).

She’s being picked up, but we didn’t hear a word from her.

Which is fine. She’s more than welcome to return, just so long as she doesn’t speak.

I wonder what Ruairi’s accent would have been like …

… if Nigel and Elizabeth had adopted him.

Couldn’t really be any worse, I suppose.

Kenton and Jolene bond over toast

[Kenton] “There’s nothing worse than cold toast”

[Jolene] “Better than burnt”

[Kenton] “I quite like burnt”

[Jolene] “Really?”

Oo-er – will this difference stop love blossoming, or a case of opposites attract?

(actually – is this Kenton and Jolene thing ever going to go anywhere at all? I have my doubts)

Either way, it’s great to hear Jolene a bit more enthused by The Bull (ha! take that Mr Crawford!), and having Kenton to bounce ideas off of.

And I never realised “the oldies” (Kenton’s words) were offered ‘budget’ meal deals because they eat less.

Well, apart from Joe Grundy.

Molly has mushrooms

Molly Button has mushrooms on toast, Freddie and Lily get special hot chocolate and a (non-edible) penguin.

Knowing that Molly, she’s probably already on a diet.

It’s good to see Elizabeth back out in the village, even though some folks (like Neil) are a bit lost for words.

Jolene and Fallon more than made up for it by being ‘normal’ with the kids – and Neil is organising the quarter peal in memory of Nigel:

[Neil] “Nigel’s missed in that bell tower … he was such good fun”

Quarter Peal *sniff*

That was bonny, even though it was a bit of a sneaky tearful moment.

Monday, 17 January 2011

The Archers Mon 17th Jan 2011: Kenton’s help is and isn’t wanted

No problem with the will
David doesn’t want Kenton …
… but Jolene does
“Ye Gods!”
No tomatoes in Ambridge?
Jill’s worried again
Trouble in store for Freddie and Lily?

No problem with the will

Elizabeth already knows what’s in Nigel’s will, as she’s an executor.

David doesn’t want Kenton …

Kenton offers again to help out with the business side of Lower Loxley, but David’s having none of it.

In fact, he’s downright rude to Kenton.

[Kenton] “I’ve had a lot more experience with that sort of thing”

[David] “What, running a bar!?!”

[Kenton] “Well, with our private bookings, I know the sort of thing to expect …”

[David] “Are you saying I’m not up to the job?”

[Kenton] “No, not all.”

[David] “ … because I’m fine Kenton,. It’s just common sense. It’s all under control.”

Well, there was no need for that, David Archer.

There’s more folks than just you who need to work off their sense of guilt.

… but Jolene does

I’m not sure exactly what Jolene did to perk up Kenton after David shouted him done (for only offering to help), but it did the trick.

(actually, it sounded like it was just a coffee).

Upset that David had acted:

[Kenton] “Like I accused him of being a bad parent, or something”

Kenton also wants to avoid making the same mistake that he feels he made when Sid died.

As much as I hardly think Elizabeth and the twins would get upset with Kenton having a one night stand (Jamie seemingly still isn’t talking to him), it sounds like he has realised that even just being in the same room helps. With Jamie and Kathy, he was always at Jaxx.

So, Kenton wants to do more at Lower Loxley so that Elizabeth and the twins know that they can depend on him

[Jolene] “You’re a good man Kenton … we all make mistakes … but if you can learn from them …”

[Kenton] “I do seem to make more than most”

[Jolene] “That’s cause you’re always doing. It’s easier to get nothing wrong if you never doing anything in the first place”

Later on:

[Jolene] “You gotta deal with your own grief … it’s all very well looking after everyone else, but you gotta think of yourself too”

[Kenton] “But here … it’s just a good place to be”

Whether Kenton and Jolene get together or not, it’s nice that Kenton has someone who doesn’t think he’s an idiot or blame him for being a tad flaky at times.

“Ye Gods!”

Which was David’s cry as he realised that planning a large society wedding really isn’t that simple.

No cheesecake – how many kids? – where does the photographer take the pictures?

Yup – all common sense, and simple tasks. But, stack them all up together, realise that you should have asked the client in the first place … David’s common sense just isn’t making up for his lack of experience.

Shouldn’t have been so rude to Kenton after all, eh David?

No tomatoes in Ambridge?

Tom’s sausages and bacon – Pat’s yoghurt – and Mike’s milk for the cereals.

But no local tomatoes for The Bull’s Farmhouse Breakfast.

I’m surprised no local entrepreneur hasn’t seen that one right.

Anyhoo, at least Jolene and Kenton got a laugh out of writing the copy for the breakfast menu:

“Eggs from hens that scratch freely in the shadow of Lakey Hill!”

(I know – I didn’t think it was that funny either. Still, it made them smile)

Jill’s worried again

Despite Elizabeth now knowing she’s secure for her lifetime, Jill can’t help worrying.

She really doesn’t want Elizabeth to get back to work – but Elizabeth reckons Lower Loxley’s brand is all about her (and previously Nigel) being hands on.

I think maybe getting back to work might actually help Elizabeth.

After all, getting “back to reality” helped Lily and Freddie.

But then again, Jill is always right.

Trouble in store for Freddie and Lily?

Is it just me, or was there no mention of what happens to Lower Loxley when Elizabeth eventually passes over to Nigel?

[Jill] “But the main thing is that you’re secure for your lifetime”

Hmmm.

Trouble with the trustees for Lily and Freddie?

Sunday, 16 January 2011

The Archers Fri 14th Jan 2011: Matt’s plans for The Bull

Jolene’s depressed again
Farmhouse Breakfast Week
Grandpa Lewis
Inheritance
Lily thinks Nigel was careless
Matt Vs Lilian
Joe impregnated Sabrina’s apple tree
The kids make the decision

Jolene’s depressed again

Which is fair enough, considering Nigel’s sudden death must have brought back everything around Sid’s sudden death.

And it’s not just her mood that’s hit another downer.

As Matt’s in The Bull have a coffee, Jolene tells him:

[Jolene] “We’re in a big post Christmas slump – the worst I’ve ever known it. Looks like we’re back to square one”

Jolene reckons The Bull only picked up during Autumn because of the We Love the Bull campaign and she’s now just not in the mood to try new ways of getting the punters in the door.

Her heart very much going out to Elizabeth having to manage with kids and a business on her own, Jolene thinks she knows how Elizabeth must be feeling about Lower Loxley (as a business):

[Jolene] “Wishing someone else would just take it all off your hands”

Probably not the most astute move to say something like that to Matt – and he does manage to twist what Jolene says for his own ends, later on.

[Matt] “Don’t despair - something might turn up, you never know”

Hmmm.

Farmhouse Breakfast Week

I’m not sure where Harry has been of late. Surely it’s his style to be helpful when there’s a major crisis?

But he hasn’t been seen at neither Lower Loxley, nor The Bull.

Fair-weather friend?

But not to worry Jolene – Kenton’s still interested.

Which is just as well. Jolene needs someone to ‘spark’ off of, and Kenton reckons he’s just the chap (even thought the three ideas he has before he’s finished shaving only result in at least 2 being rubbish).

Kenton’s idea is for The Bull to take part in Farmhouse Breakfast Week. It’s all about the benefits of having a good breakfast – and Kenton’s idea is for The Bull to serve hearty English breakfasts, all using local produce.

He’s even offered to help with the cooking.

I’m still not totally convinced that Kenton’s interest in Jolene is anything more than mates, but at least someone’s there for her.

(also a bit worried about Fallon. We haven’t heard from her since Harry went quiet …)

Grandpa Lewis

Ah – I’d utterly forgotten that Lewis had actually married Julia Pargetter, not long before she died.

That explains a lot. I did wonder why the ‘hired help’ was taking such an interest!

Inheritance

I was wondering if inheritance would be an issue after Nigel’s death, but it seems he worked that one all out.
He’s left Lower Loxley in trust to Elizabeth and the kids.

It’s a wee shame that Freddie and Lily thought they might have to leave Lower Loxley, with it passing over to Aunty Camilla (Nigel’s sister). I suppose there’s no real reason why it should – Lily and Freddie are true Pargetter’s (with a hint of Archer).

[Freddie] “(did he put it in trust) because he trusted us to look after it?”

Lily thinks Nigel was careless

[Lily] “He should have been more careful, then we wouldn’t have to (look after Lower Loxley) … it’s true, he shouldn’t have gone up on the roof!”

[Elizabeth] “Lily I wish he hadn’t too. But he only wanted the house to look nice. Listen, you mustn’t blame him, it just happened”

[Lily] “Why did it?”

[[Elizabeth] “I don’t know sweetheart, I don’t know”

[Freddie] “You shouldn’t ask mummy things like that”

[Elizabeth] “You can ask me any questions you like. I tell you what I do know. Daddy loved you both more than anything in the world, and he still does”

Oh dear. Can we foresee Lily holding back her anger towards Nigel dying for a few more decades? Wonder how that will resurface …

Matt Vs Lilian

Amside Properties doesn’t seem to be doing that well at the moment, mainly because of a lack of suitable properties to develop.

Matt has a cunning plan, which he puts to Lilian

[Matt] “(Jolene) actually said she wished someone would come and take the place off her hands … she’s being realistic, she’s tried and it hasn’t work”

[Lilian] “So what’s the alternative?”

Of course – Matt wants to close The Bull and turn it into flats. The cheeky devil also only wants to pay Jolene and Jamie “bottom price” for their shares. How very neighbourly of him.

Now we didn’t see that one coming …

[Lilian] “So that’s your solution? I close the Bull? There are other things to take into consideration ..>"

[Lilian] “Aren’t you overlooking one tiny little drawback to this grand plan? At the cost of everyone hating me? Shut the bull – people would never forgive me!”

Matt thinks the residents just have a “sentimental attachment” to The Bull, whereas Lillian (quite rightly) knows it’s the centre of village life.

So Lilian calls in her “power of veto” to stop Matt even talking about closing The Bull (he isn’t a director, so technically has no right to overrule Lilian).

But Matt’s not the sort of let his beloved Pusscat get in the way of making a few quid.

As soon as Lilian leaves the house, he’s straight on the phone to some chap called Liam, asking him to research what the options could be for developing the site of The Bull.

It’s a hard one to call. Matt has a tendency of getting his way with Lilian (and seems to have forgotten all the strife he got himself into last time when he want behind her back).

But, it’s The Bull. It’s where Lilian spent part of her childhood. She’s also quiet right in knowing she’d be an outcast if she was behind it closing.

Could this be the final straw for Tiger and Pusscat?

Joe impregnated Sabrina’s apple tree

Blimey! And seemingly Sabrina was really impressed.

Jolene’s telling Kenton about how Sabrina wanted to try and grow her own mistletoe, so Joe turned up at her house dressed like a Druid High Priest.

[Jolene] “Clarrie said Joe got his ideas from the Harry Potter film. Took her best dressing gown and draped himself with a sheet … then he impregnated Sabrina’s apple tree … chanting and everything”

Seemingly Sabrina will believe anything if it seems rustic. The slight failing in Joe’s plan was that word was surely to spread about what nonsense he was telling the unwary buyers.

In fact, Sabrina actually told Lynda:

[Jolene] “Lynda said Joe was posturing, had no basis in natural history whatsoever. And if Sabrina’s trees grew mistletoe toe she’d personally become a druid”

Oh, that’s a dangerous thing to have said Lynda.

What’s more – if, by some bizarre fluke – Sabrina does manage to grow mistletoe, I can’t see you backing out of your bet.

The kids make the decision

Well, you have to give credit to Freddie for certainly not lacking in loyalty and bravery.

Although obviously not a fan of school, and certainly not having a particular aptitude for schoolwork, he’d determined to keep on at the entrance exams.

As is Lily, but she’s never really struggled with the work.

Elizabeth was prepared to let them not do the exams if they didn’t want to, but they’re both adamant they should, as it’s what Nigel wanted.

[Freddie] “Yes, we have to. For daddy.”

Aw bless your wee cotton socks.