The Archers Thurs 9th Dec 2010: Pip is a bit of a Sherlock

• “Decision made”
• Lynda tried to make Ruth be a rat
• Eddie also has a use
• Hurrah! A use for Pip and a use for her survey!
• Jazzer wants to know how to kill a turkey
• “Look out all you lassies, it’s hot lips Harry”
• Was that The Bull that was deid as a Dodo?
• Brilliant. A fridge in the living room
• Call the Police, David

“Decision made”

So that’s seemingly that then.

Pip’s determined to go to Felpersham and stay at home for Uni, Ruth’s not so keen, but sounds like David’s had the casting vote.

Pip reckons Ruth just wants her to move away because Ruth has such great memories of her time away from home studying. Pip’s also worried that folks will think:

“I’ve gone for the easy option … because it’s local”

Why on earth would anyone think that Pip??

Ruth has a good point that it was only a few months ago Pip wanted to go off with that manboy x (he who shall not be named), but she’s young. And at least she can’t go that wrong if her parents are watching her every move


Lynda tried to make Ruth be a rat

But sounds like she was wasn’t successful, which is not like her.

I’d watch out Ruth. Lynda always has a Plan B.


Eddie also has a use

Quite unamused with Eddie’s behaviour over Clarrie’s broken wrist (in short – he’s being an utterly useless and uncaring lump), he manages to help out David and Ruth by snagging a bag of suspicious hay he’d seen being sold in Borchester.

Eddie reckoned to hay dealer looked like “a chancer, and a bit dodgy” (according to Ed), and was not one he’d seen around before.

So how is one supposed to tell where hay has come from? Pip has the answers …


Hurrah! A use for Pip and a use for her survey!

Looks like Pip wasn’t wasting her time when she did a survey of Brookfield’s land. She’s also uncannily proved how useful she is, at a time when she needs to prove her worth to Brookfield (assuming she is definitely staying at home to study).

As she checks the bag of hay Eddie slopped away from the dealer, she finds a seed head that is grass seeded dogstail, which is seemingly a typical wetland grass species. Which is exactly what a lot of Brookfield’s land is.

After closer examination, Pip reckons this suspicious hay is a complete match for Brookfield.

Which spurs on David to call the dodgy dealer, but also Ruth to all new heights of negativity.

What was Ruth’s’ problem? She’s normally such a cheery positive sort of a lass.

Jealous that your daughter knows something you don’t?

(and don’t think we also didn't hear that microwave in the background, David and Ruth. Life has moved on since pizzas yet, then).


Jazzer wants to know how to kill a turkey

[Jazzer] “So Ed tell me, how do you kill a turkey … professional curiosity”

Jazzer is helping the Grundy’s out with their turkeys, but could his curiosity be something to do with being happy in the flat, but not necessarily with Harry?!?


“Look out all you lassies, it’s hot lips Harry”

[Jazzer] “From what Nigel tells me, they’ll have to make it an 18”

[Harry] “Grow up”

Jazzer’s taking the Michael out of Harry for his rather passionate kiss with Fallon at a recent panto rehearsal.

Maybe an 18 panto would actually be quite a crowd puller …


Was that The Bull that was deid as a Dodo?

I hope not. After all our hard work on We Love The Bull.

Come on Jolene. Meet us halfway!


Brilliant. A fridge in the living room

Jazzer invites Ed back to see his and Harry’s flat, plus help him lift up a certain new addition to the living room …

[Harry] “Why’s there an old fridge in our living room?”

[Jazzer, on the kitchen fridge] “No enough room to chill the beers”

[Harry, on the new living room fridge and Jazzer settling into a session] “Is this really should a good idea?”

[Jazzer] “It’s a brainwave … it’s party time!”

It’s like Men Behaving Badly, but when one of them actually wants to behave quite sensibly.


Call the Police, David

David at least called the dodgy dealer to confront him, but oddly seems to be satisfied with only winding that bloke up, and being threatened.

Isn’t the Police worth a shot? Isn’t he worried that there could be more trouble to come now that he’s stirred the hornet’s nest?

The Archers Fri 3rd Dec 2010: Brookfield robbed

• Take good care Lewis
• Nearly a topical insert – University fees
• Poor Bartleby
• Tamworths are not suitable for the nativity
• Eddie’s very versatile
• David’s an afternoon drunk
• Brookfield burgled
• Flu in Ambridge

Take good care Lewis

“If Lewis breaks something, what will happen to the schedule for the elves!”

Elizabeth and Nigel are utterly dependent on Lewis for the success of Deck the Halls at Lower Loxley. So it simply wouldn’t be on for Lewis to go ice skating and chance breaking something.

I had to remind myself who Lewis Carmichael was. He’s a retired gent, who was an architect and was courting Julia Pargetter just before she died.


Nearly a topical insert – University fees

Seemingly Tom had mentioned the other day that if Brenda had gone away for Uni, she’d have graduated with £20,000 plus in debt.

David and Ruth are talking today about how they couldn’t have afforded to have gone to Uni if debt and fees had been as high in their days.


Poor Bartleby

I’m sure Bartleby is happy to even just spend some quality time out and about with Joe, but Joe’s efforts to sell trap rides all sound a bit depressing.

[Ruth] “It’s Bartleby I feel sorry for … poor old thing gets harnessed to the trap every day .. then he has to wait about on the green with bits of tinsel in his bridle trying to look festive”

Still, at least their Ben bought a ride (then made Ruth pay for it). Though I doubt taking a child home has made up for all of Joe (and Bartleby’s) effort.


Tamworths are not suitable for the nativity

According to Nigel.


Eddie’s very versatile

During a chat to Nigel about the Panto, Eddie says that he’s to play both of the rats (after Nathan stormed off).

[Nigel] “A one man double act?”

[Eddie] “I’m very versatile”

I don’t quite see how that will work (how can Eddie chase himself, but I’m sure Lynda has a cunning plan.


David’s an afternoon drunk

It was obvious yesterday that David wanted to let loose at the NFU Christmas lunch, and he seems to have managed. Well, in a calm and safe David way.

He sounds a tad squiffy as Ruth drives him home, and is bemoaning that he got cornered by one of the NFU cronies:

[David] “Steve Pratt … of course, if anyone lived up to their billing”

Ruth seems to have also had a good time:

[Ruth] “Had a really good conversation about food security”

(bless).


Brookfield burgled

David and Ruth return from the NFU Christmas lunch to find that someone nasty bugger had stolen all of their hay (several tonnes of it), and, to add insult to injury, they used Brookfield’s own loader to shift it.

They can claim from insurance, but that will mean their insurance premiums will increase and they will now get less fodder for their money (due to escalating prices).

It’s all a bit suspicious that the robbery happened while both David and Ruth were out together – a very rare occurrence. So, it must have been someone who knew the NFU lunch was happening, and that they would be attending.

Could it even have been an Ambridge resident?!?

As David said, it’s like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted, but he’s going to start the local group he used to run with other farmers to help improve security.

Who you going to call … Farmwatch!


Flu in Ambridge

Here we go.

Elizabeth has lost her choir, and also one of her Santa stand-ins has gone down.

Wonder who is next.