Pondering The Archers: debbie aldridge

Debbie makes an effort

Debbie still isn’t over to see Adam, but has at least made the effort to call Ian.

Ian tells her that Adam’s doing well – his physio and occupational folks are happy with him, though he is dizzy when he stands up. And still has a sore head. And is frustrated.

[Debbie] “He’s always regarded any illness of any kind being some sort of personal failure”

[Ian] “He is finding it very challenging being in one place all the time … He’s a man of action, he’s always got to be outside”

(though I was a bit disconcerted to hear Debbie and Ian agree that Adam doesn’t really like books. I always saw him and Ian wiling an evening away, listening to Radio 4 while reading their classics)

Later on, when Ian goes to see Adam at the hospital, he finds Adam a bit fed up that he isn’t getting out today as he hoped. He’ll only get out Monday.

Adam’s also fed up that he didn’t remember anything useful when the Police questioned him.

[Ian] “We’re just a bit fed up”

[Adam] “Don’t call me we!”

But there’s some good news. When Debbie called, it was also to say that she was (finally) coming over to see Adam.

Just for the weekend, mind.

Jennifer’s washing walls

[Alice] “I don’t know what the pickers put down on this table but it has certainly stuck”

With Adam in hospital, it’s down to Jennifer and Alice to sort the fruit pickers caravans out.

Funny thing that. For all of her graces, Jennifer gets stuck in when she’s needed.

Well, as long as it’s just for her husband and kids, and her farm. Tony is very much excepted.

Alice doesn’t sound like a fan of Carl

[Alice] “It was supposed to be a business trip, but Carl felt he could fit in a little pleasure as well”

Jennifer is a bit surprised to hear that Alice and Chris haven't had a foursome with Amy and Carl.

(dinner, not the ‘car keys in a bowl’ type)

But Alice explains that Amy is very much keeping Carl to herself.

[Alice] “It just seems a bit … exclusive”

Amy’s gone too far

The morning after the night before, Amy is still excited about moving in with Carl.

He’s sounding not so sure.

[Alice] “It would be fantastic. I could meet your family. Your grandmother”

(yup, that’s what every man wants to hear!)

[Carl] “For a start, do you really want to move out of a lovely big vicarage into my tiny flat?”

[Amy] “We’d be cosy”

[Carl] “I just don’t think you should rush into it”

But Amy’s not listening. She starts wittering on about them getting a bigger flat together. And how they can choose furniture together …

Here it comes …

[Carl] “You know what, beautiful Amy, I’m just wondering if this is the right time”

[Amy] “That this is to fast? But why? I love you, you love me, why wait?”

When Amy gets home, she immediately calls Alice to tell her the good news.

[Amy] “So, we’ve decided to make it permanent”

[Alice] “What!”

After Amy clarifies that she can Carl are moving on, not getting married:

[Alice] “I thought I was getting an invitation to the wedding”

[Amy] “No, well not yet anyway”

But Carl calls, so Amy hangs up on Alice to talk to him.

[Carl] “I needed to speak to you. There’s something I need to say to you, and the sooner the better … Amy, you are a lovely girl and we’ve had a lot of fun together … these past few days have been very special to me, I hope you can believe that …it isn’t the start of anything. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but it’s clear to me you want something I just can’t give to you …”

Carl tells Alice that he doesn’t want to move in with her. Not now, not ever.

[Carl] “I can’t give you the kind of commitment you deserve. I’m sorry Amy. It’s over.”

Ah well. Didn’t see that coming.

No mention of a wife, though.

Monday, 30 April 2012

Adam wakes up 30.04.12

The Archers Monday 30th April 2012

Debbie puts work first
What if Amy’s happy to be a mistress?
The mention of caravans wakes Adam up
Having his hair done makes Adam speak

Debbie puts work first

[Jennifer] “Oh and that’s more important, of course”

Jennifer’s leathering Debbie by phone for not flying over to see (the still unconscious) Adam.

Though Debbie claims she is thinking of them all, she can’t leave her work.

Despite her brother being critical. Despite Brian badly needing help to run Home Farm. Despite Jennifer pleading with her to be there.

[Debbie] “There’s no good trying to make me feel guilty, but I can’t come”

Though Debbie reckons she has good reason. Her deputy’s wife has done into premature labour, so there’s no-one to take over. And she reckons it’s a critical week for negotiations they’re having with the Hungarian government over land that they lease.

[Jennifer] “It’s Adam you see, darling, I keep thinking maybe if he just heard your voice …”

I don’t buy it, Debbie.

Surely there’s nothing that should be big enough to keep you away from your brother, and rest of family, in such a dire situation?

What if Amy’s happy to be a mistress?

About Carl being married.

Though it’s starting to get complicated …

First off, Usha is basing her knowledge of Carl being married on what Annabelle told her.

So, in my humble opinion, this could all be a red herring.

Ruth suggests to Usha that she should talk to Alan. But Usha thinks she should actually talk to Amy first.

[Ruth] “Are you sure that’s the right way around?”

[Usha] “At first I was sure Amy doesn’t know about this … but suppose she does … suppose she knows Carl’s married?”

Ruth can’t believe that Amy would be with Carl if she knew that he was married, but Usha thinks love conquers all. Especially as this is the first time Amy has been in love.

[Usha] “And she’s so inexperienced”

[Ruth] “And so happy”

[Usha] “I just keeping thinking Ruth … who could do that to his partner … I could no more do that to Alan than, I could fly …”

[Ruth, sounding sheepish] “No …”

[Usha, only now remembering about Sam] “Oh Ruth, I’m so sorry!”

[Ruth] “Don’t say it was different, what I did. You kid yourself that you want it so much, it must be alright”

If Amy does know, Usha thinks it’ll also be because Carl will have done the ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ line.

[Ruth] “I’m not in a position to cast the first stone at Amy, no matter what she’s done”

[Usha] “And I’m not. It’s Alan I’m worried about … he'd be so bitterly disappointed”

[Ruth] “Do you think so? I thought he was so liberal in his views”

Only so far, it would seem. Usha reckons Alan will blame himself if Amy is happy to be with a man who is already married. He will think he’s failed.

So – upshot if that Usha needs to talk to Amy first to find out if Amy does know, before she says anything to Alan that will upset him.

The mention of caravans wakes Adam up

As Jennifer talks to the (still unconscious) about everything the needs to do on the farm – spraying, walking the fields to start the seasons plans, getting the caravans ready for the fruit pickers …

[Jennifer] “Adam? Adam, can you hear me … nurse!”

Next we hear Ian shouting at someone to get a move on with the vegetables (one assumes he’s back at work). He takes a call from Jennifer.

[Jennifer] “Don’t worry … its good news … I was talking to him and I saw his eyelids flutter … he responded”

Having his hair done makes Adam speak

As Ian is tidying Adam’s hair so he can look respectable when he wakes up proper (seems the nurse doesn’t do it the way Adam likes it), Adam makes a grunt.

Then wakes.

[Adam] “Ian … where … throat sore … hospital, why … how long … go on …. Go on, my hair, nice …”

Jennifer comes back to see Adam fully awake (with an obviously delighted Ian), and plays Adam a voice message that Debbie recorded for him.

Welcome back Adam!

(Shame on you, Debbie. Far too little. Far too late)

Friday, 23 March 2012

It’s different with Pigs 22.03.12

The Archers Thursday 22nd March 2012

They shouldn’t have laughed at the llamas
Bartleby’s brass gets a polish
Usha isn’t gossiping
Damsons make Joe a happy chappy
Lilian bosses Brian
Tony wants to ask Lilian first
Alan and Usha have an old hot water system
Green burials are noisy
At last – someone mentions Shula and Alan
What about Karl?
Blondes can be clever sometimes
James will get Lilian for his birthday present
Pigs not cows

They shouldn’t have laughed at the llamas

Seems they’re doing a grand work of Alan and Usha’s lawn.

[Usha] “I still do a double take every time I come home and see lamas on the lawn”

[Alan] “They’re doing a fantastic job … best investment I’ve made in a long time!”

So they may have laughed at Lynda offering the llamas during the promise auction, but it’s all worked out right. Which I’m glad about. I thought the Ambridge folks were very cruel to Lynda (apart from Alan, of course).

Bartleby’s brass gets a polish

From Alan, helping Joe out with a random act of kindness for lent.

That’s nice for Bartleby.

Usha isn’t gossiping

When she told Alan about Vicky getting Eddie to work an extra four hours for free.

[Usha] “Not a bit of it. I think to like of it as more of reportage”

Damsons make Joe a happy chappy

He and Jim and co have been planting them in the hedge of the community orchard,

[Alan] “Joe sounded really chuffed seeing his old orchard all restored”

Lilian bosses Brian

Brian’s still worried about farmers abandoning The Mart because of the protestors.

[David] “You know how farmers talk. It’s probably bluster … old habits die hard … they won’t move and miss the chance of meeting up with farmers they’ve know for years”

David moves on elsewhere, but Lilian corners Brian in his place.

[Lilian] “Have you heard these rumours? As an investor, I’m very concerned … people are like sheep., it’ll only take a couple of farmers to go elsewhere and we’ll have a mass exodus!”

[Brian] “That’s arrant nonsense … and in my opinion you’ve being totally irresponsible, racing round like chicken licken saying the sky is going to fall down”

[Lilian] “Get it under control Brian, ASAP, before it gets out of hand!”

Oh Brian won’t like that. Being told by Lilian what to do? No wonder he’s increasingly desperate to find a solution to his Super Dairy woes.

Tony wants to ask Lilian first

All seems to be going very well at Home Farm.

The grass is “bulking out nicely”, according to Tony, which means the cows can get out towards the end of next week.

Tony also agrees with Tom and Pat that they should try and extend their interest free mortgage for another six months. And, he now agrees that Tom should try and get a loan to extend the poly tunnels. Seems it will pay itself back in three years (just like Brookfield’s new dairy system),

But, he wants to ask Lilian first. He doesn’t want to start spending without first paying back the loan she gave them.

So, he and Pat sit down with Lilian to tell her their plans.

[Lilian] “That sounds wonderful, but I can’t for the life why you’re telling me … Oh good grief, darlings. I’m in no hurry for the money … you can pay me once you’re properly back on your feet”

Recession proof, our Lilian is.

Alan and Usha have an old hot water system

So it would seem.

They can’t run the hot water in the kitchen without ruining Amy’s bath.

Green burials are noisy

Alan is getting ready for the first burial at the green burial site.

[Alan] “I’m told wicker coffins are noisy … they creak … wonder if I should warn the family?”

Sounds terrifying!

At last – someone mentions Shula and Alan

It’s Alan himself.

He mentions to Usha that Shula has offered her donkey, Benjamin, for Palm Sunday again. But this time, she’s even offered to look after him herself during the service.

[Usha] “I’m pleased for you”

So, the cold front is indeed warming.

What about Karl?

Something is building about Amy’s new boyfriend (or not, he might just be a mate).

Alan mentioned that Amy had mentioned Karl, but “didn’t say much else”. Alan reckons she’ll talk about him if he is important to her.

What’s afoot?

Blondes can be clever sometimes

[Tony] “So the ,lovely Lisa is not just a pretty face?”

[David] “She may look like a ditzy blond but she’s as sharp as a tack”

James will get Lilian for his birthday present

[Lilian] “Isn’t one’s time a better gift?”

Probably not for James.

Pigs not cows

Debbie has a cunning plan.

She’s going to swap large scale dairy for a large scale pig unit. Debbie reckons they’ll get similar benefits, but will be a more “mainstream” solution.

[Brian] “Why in earth would we shift our ground at this stage?”

And also why pigs, when other pig farmers seem to be struggling.

But – and this is where Debbie living in Hungry comes in useful (seems no one in Ambridge takes any heed of news reports in the TV, newspapers interest (etc) about that place they call Europe). She says that more European farmers are getting out of pigs because the new welfare regulations make them less profitable. So, there’s a nice gap for a large scale production.

[Debbie] “Just like the cow setup, it would be a large pig unit … but this time, there would be no need for outside suppliers”

[Brian] “We’d still have a very large animal production unit with pigs permanently indoors”

[Debbie] “It’s different with pigs, honestly, it’s all about perception. People are far more used to the idea of pigs indoors”

[Brian, warming to the idea] “At the moment I need all the get of jail cards I can get my hands on”

Well – I’m not sure Debbie is right this time.

Will Tom and Neil be supportive? Jazzer?

And with pigs being such intelligent animals (they play footy, don’t you know), won’t the protestors abhor this even more?

Jim concerns a tie shop assistant 20.02.12

The Archers Tuesday 20th March 2012

Let Brian eat cake!
Andrew is a “silly man”
The bees need sugar syrup
Bert’s sorting Susan’s garden
Jim accosts Christine (again)
Alice is going to get an Easter egg
Brian and cricket
The village shop aggressively sells to kids
Brookfield back on an even keel in 3 years

Let Brian eat cake!

As there’s no biscuits.

Andrew is a “silly man”

According to Jennifer.

Andrew Eagleton is on the BL board. Seems he’s panicking about all of the bad publicity about the Super Dairy, and wants to table a resolution for it to be withdrawn as a project.

[Jennifer] “Oh the silly man. He’s just panicking unnecessarily, surely”

Brian reckons not. Andrew has also got Martin Gibson concerned.

But there’s more.

[Brian] “Even some of our loyal customers are fed up of driving past the protestors, and are thinking of going somewhere else”

Brian’s panicking, so calls Debbie.

[Debbie] “I won’t let that happen … Leave it with me dad”

[Brian] “If we’re going to save this project, we need to do some sharp thinking”

(I still find it odd that Debbie calls Brian dad, by the way)

The bees need sugar syrup

Oh I do (genuinely) love Jill and her bees.

She was checking their food stocks today, and reckoned.

[Jill] “A couple of the hives do feel a bit light”

So she left them some sugar syrup on the brood box.

Ah.

Lucky bees.

(though I have no idea what a brood box is)

Bert’s sorting Susan’s garden

Doe the promise auction Susan won.

Though Ruth’s not so sure that it’s a good idea:

[Ruth] “Susan’s quite proud of her garden, Isn’t she?”

[Jill] “Yes, I hope she doesn’t take his suggestions the wrong way!”

But turns out it wasn’t Susan offended by Bert telling her what to do. It was the other way round.

[Ruth] “He came back most disgruntled, instead of helping her to design and create a fantastic garden for Ambridge View, he was up to his elbows in weeds and a bit of old pram at number 6 The Green”

Crafty.

That’s one way of getting Bert, Gary and Tracey’s garden sorted without Neil having to do it.

Jim accosts Christine (again)

[Jill on Christine] “Between you and me Ruth, she’s a bit worried at the moment … well, it’s Jim. He was a bit effusive in complimenting her last week … that her perfume smelt alluring”

[Ruth] “Alluring, you’re joking! Does that mean there’s a December romance in the offing?”

And they both have a good laugh at Christine and Jim’s expense … which wasn’t very nice of them.

Later on:

[Jennifer] “Oh, here comes Jim!”

[Christine] “Oh dear …”

[Jim] “Christine, just the woman I need. I have something quite important to ask you … it’s about a phone call of some consequence I need to make this afternoon, and I need you to be present, if you don’t mind … it’d make a chap very happy”

So Christine, very uncomfortably, agrees.

Later on:

[Jim] “As it was such a nice afternoon, I thought it’d be nice to do this out of doors … are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin”

So, he calls someone to pay them a compliment.

[Jim, on the phone] “It was a very rewarding retail experience … of course I am, perfectly serious … unexpectedly knowledgeable on the subject of ties”

It sounded like the person on the other end of the phone hung up, but Jim just reckoned it was a bad connection due to them being in the garden.

Christine is perplexed.

[Christine] “I’m sorry Jim, you called me over to listen to a phone call to a tie shop?”

[Jim] “Gentleman’s outfitter, if you please”

Jim then records the compliment he has just given, and asks Christine to sign his book as a witness.

As she does so, she notices her name, and his compliment about her perfume, on the opposite page.

Ah. The penny drops. And Christine now gladly accepts lemonade from Jim.

Later on:

[Christine] “You’ll never guess what Jim had me doing this afternoon …”

[Jill] “That sounds intriguing!”

[Christine] “Not in the way you or me were thinking!”

Christine’s relieved, and quite tickled about Jim’s antics.

[Christine] “The poor boy in the tie shop this afternoon clearly thought he was bonkers”

Ach well. There’s nothing like a good old British farce to help us into Spring.

Alice is going to get an Easter egg

Jennifer is going to buy her one to cheer her up while she’s studying so hard.

Oh, and she also mentions she might get one for Ruairi.

Wee mite that he is.

Brian and cricket

I didn’t think that Brian was that interested in Ambridge Cricket club. But Jennifer seems to think the start of the season will help him relax.

She also mentioned that Jamie had asked Adam to help coach the youth team, but seems he’s too busy. Adam is going to ask a friend (in Yorkshire of all places, Christine was very surprised to hear … how odd of her).

The village shop aggressively sells to kids

Even Jill is in on the act.

She wants to get the Easter eggs out on display specifically before the school bus gets back in.

[Jill] “A suggestion from Lynda, she’s a great believer in pester power … not that that’d come to a surprise to anyone who knows her”

Brookfield back on an even keel in 3 years

So reckons the consultant.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

The Super Dairy meeting 24.02.12

The Archers Friday 24th February 2012

Glebelands are pro-Super Dairy
Tony’s too tired
Ed’s speaking for Grundy Senior
Let the stooshie commence!
Pray silence … Ruth wants to speak
Who won?

Glebelands are pro-Super Dairy

As Debbie and Brian are driving to the Parish Council meeting about the Super Dairy, Brian’s pondering who he can count on for support.

[Brian] “Richard Thwaite … I’ve found more support around Glebelands commuters than the farming families in the village. What’s got into people? Can they see that this development could create jobs … just wish I could stuff Pat in a box for the evening. Seriously Debbie, she’s on the warpath!”

Maybe the commuter chaps do support the dairy because they don’t actually spend enough time in the village.

Tony’s too tired

[Pat] “Come on love,. Stir your stumps. The meeting starts at half past”

But Tony doesn’t want to go. The poor man is exhausted, and just wants a bath and bed.

Pat isn’t impressed, but relents. She does, however, take Henry out of the car and tells Tony to look after him. Seems Helen had been worried anyway about him being at the meeting.

[Pat] “It’s the least you can do … democracy can’t afford to sleep”

To make matters worse for Tony, henry is also in a lively mood. So will need entertaining.

Seriously – unless everyone lets up on Tony, he’s not going to be with us for much longer.

Ed’s speaking for Grundy Senior

Seems Joe is feeling too old and cold to make the meeting, so Ed’s speaking up for him.

[Ed] “Look at the size of it. Whatever happened to the lowly cowboy?”

Seems Will doesn’t concur.

[Ed] “I swear he’s only taking Brian’s side to spite me!”

Aye, probably

Let the stooshie commence!

We didn’t get to hear all of Debbie’s opening speech, but it end with - drive for exports – create jobs – economy recover – great Britain play role in feeding the world …

[Debbie] “Ladies and gentleman, the big picture!”

To which she receives a smattering of clapping, but sounded like the same amount of grumbles.

Pat’s up next:

[Pat] “I found it quite hard to picture one hundred thousand, five hundred cows, that sounds so much more than fifteen hundred doesn’t it?

“Then I thought of the opening credit of Rawhide, hundreds and hundreds of steers crossing the horizon, silhouetted against the plains of Texas, or should that be Hungry, then I remembered that the cows in this dairy unit won’t be moving across America on a cattle drive, they’ll all be cooped up together in a tin shed up the road.

“ It’s not only the monstrous scale of this project that offends people, it’s the power it represents. We haven’t asked for something the size of an aircraft hangar to blight the landscape”

Debbie claims the shed is a “beautiful” design that can also be screened with trees. And it must be god, to ensure economies of scale.

Ed asks Debbie about the impact on smaller dairy producers.

[Debbie] “No competition Ed. We’ll be sending milk power to Asia, not putting pints on doorsteps”

Brian tells Ed to listen to Mike (who is in favour of the Super Dairy), which earns him a few boos.

[Debbie] “But it’s a bold vision. You shouldn’t be afraid of enterprise”

Pat then points out that Debbie won't have to live with the Super Dairy, as she’ll be managing it from Hungry. And most of the BL Board also don’t live locally, so again won’t have it on their doorstep.

[Ruth] “Where’s the local accountability?”

Debbie answers that they’ll have staffing and onsite management.

Pat asks about the all the building, and the access roads.

[Pat] “It’s more tarmac over the countryside”

[Brian] “It’s our lands, not yours”

Ed’s worried about traffic on the small country lanes. He needs to move cows twice a day.

[Ed] “That’ll be a daily hazard for my herd, and then my livelihood. So much for me not being affected!”

[Pat] “I can well see the shareholders wanting to milk the cash cow even more, and wanting to extend. And what if you can’t compete with the US economies of scale Debbie? You’ll be looking to dump the milk cheaply on the supermarkets, and that’s bound to impact in the small dairies”

And Ruth reckons that Debbie actually wants smaller local dairies to go under so that they can switch to growing arable for the Super Dairy.

[Ruth] “Not everyone agrees with your grazing system Ruth … so why are you trying to stop us doing things our way?”

Pat asks why there are less than a dozen Super Dairies in Britain? She thinks it’s because welfare is less than to be desired.

Debbie answers with - own water trough - room to lie down and move round - locally employed staff trained in husbandry - spend much of time indoors, standards of care far higher than smaller dairies (blah blah)

[Pat] “Except the high yields that you want mean yours will be worked far beyond their natural capabilities … cows in intensive units have to be dosed up to the eyeballs with antibiotics”

[Brian] “I assure you there’ll be the most pampered cows in Borchestershire. And we don’t anticipate any problems with hygiene. Unlike some local enterprises which have experienced infection problems in recent months …”

That gains Brian’s a lot of boos, and a “that was below the belt” from Ed.

And good on Pat – she doesn’t rise to the bait. She focuses instead on the issue at hand.

[Pat] “But, are people aware that this development has a pollution potential of a small town … What guarantee are there that the digester can cope with all the slurry”

[Brian] “Environmental safety is our biggest concern … “

Which raises a lot of laughter.

[Pat] “Well I’m not reassured!”

Pray silence … Ruth wants to speak

[Ruth] “Cows belong on crass. That’s what they do.

“They ruminate, and grass allows them to express their natural behaviours. However modern the breed, it’s in their genes.

“I agree a well-run zero grazing system can produce high yields as well as high welfare, and I wouldn’t accuse Borchester land of cruelty, but it's plain wring to regard cows simply as vehicles for milk production. If it’s to produce high quality and nutritious food, a dairy farm should be part of the landscape, in tune with the natural rhythms of the animal and the seasons. Not just a food factory, however well run”

Well done Ruth. Beautifully put indeed.

Who won?

Hard to tell.

If it hadn’t been for Brian being a complete boor (as per), Debbie might have been the voice of reason.

But, the Pat, Ed and Ruth combo was (I felt) just that bit stronger.

Debbie thanked David for his neutrality as NFU President (then got a dig in about badgers – just when did Debbie get so bitchy?). And Brian was thankful for small mercies.

[Brian] “Thank god Adam didn’t show up .. Annabelle seems to think it’s gone okay”

[Debbie] “Relax Brian. Just keep hold of the big picture”

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Blood is stronger for Debbie and Adam 27.01.12

The Archers Friday 27th January 2012

Adam’s shaken
Itineraries and Excel spreadsheets
Debbie and Adam fall out. Then fall in again

Adam’s shaken

After being ranted at by Brian.

And he has the added guilt of Jennifer being caught between them. Though at least doesn’t think it’s his fault.

[Adam] “We’ve had some set to in the past, but this … he was incredibly hostile … heavens knows we’ve been poles apart on this, the debate has been about our farming philosophes, this was personal”

So Adam is also now thinking that he and Brian can’t work together.

(how would that work? Would Adam have to leave Home Farm with nothing?)

[Ian] “He was angry. You’ll find a way through this, you’ll have to. For you mother’s sake if nothing else”

Jennifer later calls round to see Ian, as she’s very worried about Adam. She and Ian have a bit of a love-in (not literally, obviously) about how good a partner Ian is to Adam.

Ah well. At least part of the family is making nice.

Itineraries and Excel spreadsheets

Jim and Joe certainly have interesting (!) conversations.

Jim’s been researching local single cider varieties for possible trees to start growing in the community orchard. Jim thinks it’s been dull having to work his way through the internet. Joe reckons he should be tasting them first.

[Joe] “Have an itinerary”

[Jim] “Or pub crawl, as it’s more commonly known”

Jim then tells Joe he’s finding it impossible to work out the equivalents for folks working on the community orchard, and getting their fair share of cider made from it.

[Joe] “You don’t need no fancy spreadsheets to tell you some folks is taking advantage … we ain't dishing out our cider on them figures, I can tell you that now”

So Joe offers to sort them out.

Hmmm.

Dodgy dealings afoot?

Debbie and Adam fall out. The fall in again

On Ian’s advice, Adam calls Debbie to make sure she knows his side of the story.

Surprisingly, she hadn’t even heard about the radio of the newspaper article (that’s not like Brian not to get on the phone to her immediately).

Debbie calls Adam stupid.

Seems he did speak to the Echo as well. Some old school pal is a journalist there, and had called Adam just to clarify. Off the record. To get it straight.

Aye right! I agree with Debbie – Adam has been stupid (or, as Ian thinks, is trying to get his voice heard without even realising what he’s doing).

[Debbie] “You know how controversial these big dairies are, throw in a nice juicy family fall out, grrr, Adam, what have you done?”

BUT, Debbie calls back later on to apologise for being “a bit hard” on him.

She still thinks Adam has been an idiot, but can also see that he’s in an impossible situation.

[Debbie] “I know you’d never deliberately set out to hurt the family”

So, that’s Debbie and Adam sorted.

But will Brian ever forgive?

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Adam’s furious 06/01/12

The Archers Friday 6th January 2012

Tracey’s not to be evicted
The Super Dairy got the go ahead
Brian’s beyond cocktails and sushi
Adam only sees doom and gloom
Christmas is put away
Open day at a burial site
Orange or dusky peach?

Tracey’s not to be evicted

Tracey has slept on Bert’s offer to return home. She’s not keen.

[Tracey] “To be chef cook and bottle washer for me old dad and useless brother, it depresses me just thinking about it … in the cold clear light of morning, I can see it for what it is, a huge step backwards”

Which is a very fair point. Tracey would be returning to the very same bedroom she grew up in.

So, she’s back to thinking about moving back to where she came from.

[Susan, sounding a bit desperate] “Wouldn’t thy be better off growing up in a nice village and going to a decent school … and what about dad?”

But Tracey’s not listening.

And Neil is furious that she’s changed her mind.

What’s plan C, Susan?

The Super Dairy got the go ahead

From the BL Board.

Seems all Adam could say to that way “I see …”

[Brian] “Well, he was delivering triplets at the time … the Ball is in his court, Debbie, he’s the one behaving like a spoilt brat”

Brian’s beyond cocktails and sushi

It’s Jennifer’s birthday tomorrow. So Brian is taking her to Grey gables for a meal.

Debbie takes the Michael that they always go there.

[Brian] “We like Grey gables. We’re getting a bit old for cocktails and sushi in some trendy Borchester watering hole”

[Debbie] “You, old? That’ll be the day!”

Adam only sees doom and gloom

It’s Debbie’s last day, so Jennifer is trying to get Adam to at least come in for lunch with them.

[Adam] “I’ve got nothing to say to Debbie”

[Jennifer] “Oh Adam, I know you disagree about this dairy business .. but you got your way didn’t you. Even if it does ahead it isn’t going to impact on Home Farm”

Adam doesn’t agree. The barn will be on their land, so folks will think it’s a Home Farm venture. What’s more:

[Adam] “It’s a disaster for the village, it’s a disaster for the entire area”

Later on, Adam apologies to Jennifer for losing his temper.

[Jennifer] “Oh darling, I’ve lived through lambing long enough, I know how tired and stressful it makes you”

[Adam] “I suppose I was hoping beyond hope that the BL board would have the sense to turn down this appalling plan of Debbie’s … but basically agree with her, there’s money to be made out of this obscene factory farming, and so to hell with the consequences”

[Jennifer] “Will it really be that bad?”

[Adam] “I don’t like that kind of farming … plenty of people are so against it they prepared to boycott the people who do it “

And while they had opposition to the poly tunnels, he reckons it’ll be twenty times worse with a Super Dairy.

Adam is also furious at Debbie for harassing David and Ruth again.

[Adam] “How crass can you get>? She knows how much David and Ruth hate the idea, but already she’s planning how she can use their difficulties to further her own ambition ..,. dancing on their grave, more like”

Jennifer won’t take sides, and she presses Adam again to talk to Debbie.

[Adam] “I certainly don’t want to heat any more of her weasel words, it’ll just turn into a slagging match”

Brian is having a separate chat with Debbie. He still thinks Adam will come round – that he’s just exhausted and “ratty” due to lambing.

[Debbie] “there are a lot of Adam’s out there you know. He’s not the only one who is going to see this desecration of all they hold dear … not just the usual suspects”

So they agree with Adam that the opposition will be more than just Lynda Snell and a placard.

In fact, they’d already build significant budget for PR into plan.

Punch up ahoy!

Christmas is put away

Neil and Susan are taking their tree down. Neil jokes that the lights will be found in a tangled mess next year, regardless of how carefully he puts them away. Very true.

Seems Mike has a “big chipper” that everyone takes their trees to be recycled.

[Tracey] “That’s Christmas one for another year … it was lovely though …no Den, that’s what makes the difference. I didn’t have to worry about him getting drunk and having a punch up with Stewart”

Open day at a burial site

Interesting idea. Seems Mike wants one for the green burial site.

Orange or dusky peach?

Susan’s back on at Tracey about moving back in with their dad and Gary.

Seems she sounds a bit more interested again. Though she has a long list of redecorating that she wants to add to Neil’s plans.

She reckons her bedroom needs damp sorted, wallpaper and painted.

[Tracey] “You were the one who insisted on orange walls”

[Susan] “It’s not orange, it’s dusky peach”

[Tracey] “It might have been peach once, but it’s orange now. Years of fag smoke I suppose”

In fact, she reckons that all the ceilings need done. They look remarkably like a pub ceiling pre-smoking ban.

But she still isn’t 100% sure of what she wants to do. She wants to talk to her dad again. And also make some phone calls.

Still, it’s yet another step in the right direction … Neil may be frustrated at the lack of progress, but it’s better than nowt.

The BL Board votes 05/12/12

The Archers Thursday 5th January 2012

Brian’s back on track
Bert asks Tracey to come home
Why does Gary have bunkbeds?
Andrew Eagleton has a problem

Brian’s back on track

In his own, humble (!) opinion.

He has managed to get three arable farmers to agree to be suppliers for their Super Dairy, which means he has a “viable plan B” to put to the BL Board – who are voting today on whether to go ahead.

Even if the BL Board do vote it through, Debbie still hasn’t managed to get Adam onside.

[Debbie] “I just had a chat with Adam … I don’t know what his problem is …”

In Debbie’s opinion, Adam has got everything he wants – Home Farm to be kept the way it is, steering clear of the Super Dairy. She thinks he’s now just being petulant.

[Brian] “He simply can’t accept that this is the way farming is going”

Bert asks Tracey to come home

Tracey was telling Bert that she’s thinking of moving back (to wherever she came from). Not to get back with Den:

[Tracey] “Reckon he’s as glad to see the back of me as I am of him”

But to her own place. She can’t cope with the long school run anymore, but can’t afford somewhere in Ambridge.

[Bert] “Susan said … well, I was wondering actually … how would it be if you moved back in here?”

Tracey initially says an outright no, They just wouldn’t all fit in.

[Tracey] "So this was Neil’s idea? Bet it was ..."

Bert explains Neil’s plans for creating another bedroom. Tracey could have her old bedroom back (the one she used to share with Susan).

[Bert] “Have it all to yourself now!”

And the kids would have his old room. He reckons he’s not getting much sleep anyway, in his big bed alone.

And a massive bonus would be that they kids would have a garden to play in. They didn’t have that before.

[Tracey] “How would you feel about having them here? You know what Brad’s like, he can’t sit still for 5 minutes and he doesn’t have a volume control … and Chelsea’s is not much better… but you were young then, you could cope with the racket, you want some peace and quiet now”

But Bert reckons he’ll have peace in the grave … and he can have his own TV in his room, and always just go out.

[Bert] “I’d love for you to come home Tracey, really I would”

Tracey sounds nearly convinced, but she wants to sleep on it.

Why does Gary have bunkbeds?

He really is odd.

Andrew Eagleton has a problem

[Brian] “Me, essentially, he thinks I’ve lost all credibility”

He scoffs his way through Debbie’s presentation, and questions them on the lack of control they’ve now got by having to use external suppliers. Who are they/ Can they be depended on? Surely they’ll ditch the Super Dairy if a better offer comes long.

Brian reckons he’s “rubbed shoulders” with two of them at NFU meetings.

[Andrew] “So you don’t actually know them?”

Erm, no. he doesn’t.

And what about the fact that Brian couldn’t convince Adam to work with them? How can the BL Board know he’ll manage the other suppliers properly?

[Debbie] “Units like this offer a very good deal to the farmers involved .. .a guaranteed purchaser .. .Adam has no experience in these things, I do”

As they have a comfort break (the meeting sounded like the House of Commons to me – lots of baritone murmurings. Thankfully none of the fake guffawing), Brian is not happy with Andrew.

[Brian] “I could happily punch his lights out!”

[Debbie] “He’s alienating the rest of the Board by banging on like that, so keep calm and let me do the talking”

Which he does. Debbie closes her presentation by saying that she’d be project managing the Diary (still from Hungry). I had thought she might be returning …

Anyway, it goes to the vote. And they turn off the secret microphones …

Tom wants to breed 03/01/12

The Archers Tuesday 3rd January 2012

Emma’s in a catty mood
Clarrie is unaware of the cake swap
Tom wants a baby
Cheerio Patsy!
“Bloomin’ badgers”
Debbie spots an opportunity
Pork saves Brenda
Lily ‘gets’ Pantos
Debbie and Elizabeth make friends

Emma’s in a catty mood

She didn’t rate Henry’s birthday party – it was too noisy for Keira (so they had to leave before the cake).

And she also didn’t rate Nic and Will’s wedding. Now there’s a surprise …

[Emma] “I didn’t think much of the breakfast … well it was just that wasn’t it. Breakfast. The sort of thing you can have any day”

But Clarrie spoke up for Nic and Will. She had chuffed to have had eggs benedict, which she’d never had before.

As Clarrie is wondering just how much of a marvellous time Will and Nic are having on their honeymoon, she’s ignoring Emma trying to tell her how to look after Keira.

[Clarrie] “Leave her to me, Emma, I have brought up babies of my own, you know!”

Clarrie is unaware of the cake swap

George mentioned he had sponge cake at the wedding, which Clarrie was surprised about. But she still didn’t twig that anything had changed with the wedding cake – she just thought they must have made a separate sponge for the kids.

Looks like Caroline and Ian have got away with it …

(so most kids hate fruit cake?)

Tom wants a baby

But he has to first get Brenda to concur.

[Tom] “You know what Bren. For the first time, I’m starting to feel that maybe I’m ready to be a dad”

[Brenda, a bit shocked] “Oh … Henry’s gorgeous, I grant you, but the trouble with babies you never know what you’re going to get, You much end up with Keira … I can’t help noticing, you’ve suddenly got interested in babies ever since you discovered that John had a son”

Which Tom denies. He reckons it’s because of being with Henry.

[Tom] “Babies can be fun!”

[Brenda] “In small doses …”

Cheerio Patsy!

Ruth’s delighted that Emma’s returned to clean at Brookfield. It’s meant the “dreaded” Patsy won’t be terrorising her anymore. Seems Patsy was a great cleaner, but Ruth felt the need to tidy up before she arrived …

“Bloomin’ badgers”

So reckons Ruth.

She’s on about the slurry lagoon again, and how much it’s going to cost to fix.

And they also haven’t been doing their NVZ (Nitrate Vulnerable Zones) records properly. Which could get them into trouble with the Environment Agency.

They surely can’t blame the badgers for their sloppy paperwork?

Debbie spots an opportunity

Though Adam still isn’t being “friendly” to Debbie, and while Brian reckons that they not exactly inundated with arable farmers wanting to supply their Super Dairy (seems Pete Wilkes, Spencer’s dad, has pulled out. Something to do with Pip?), Debbie brightens up when she hears the news from Brookfield.

[Brian] “There’s a distinct possibility they might be going out of milk”

[Debbie] “Well, in the case, perhaps they might like to reconsider your offer … or raise heifers for us”

Brian doesn’t sound so sure they’ll have changed their attitude about working with the Super Dairy.

It’s a bit of a shock to see Debbie being so callous … one would almost be forgiven for thinking Brian’s her dad.

Pork saves Brenda

Tom’s back from his meeting with a development chef at HEFF (Heart of England Fine Foods). He’s quite excited.

While it seems that his idea of making pork pies is not a goer (too competitive a market), he’s now thinking of readymade pork meals.

Sausage casserole, pork stroganoff, pork lasagne …

[Tom] “Anything's worth a try. Experiment. Pork goulash., Pork cobbler. See what works”

HEFF will help Tom develop the meals, and also take them to focus groups (and the like).

[Tom] “This could move the Tom Archer brand into the premiership!”

Brenda spots her chance. She lays it on thick about how she believes in Tom and his potential. But, all of this will take a lot of hard work.

[Brenda] “So maybe not the best time to think about having babies, right?”

[Tom] “Well … okay. Maybe we should wait a year or two”

Phew!

But I’m still wondering why them getting married hasn’t been mentioned. This is turning out to be a very long engagement.

Think they’ve just forgotten?

Lily ‘gets’ Pantos

Elizabeth and Lily are talking about all of the pantos that Lily has been to, though she was too young to remember a lot of them properly.

[Lily] “So I have seen quite a lot … and I think I understand what it is that makes a panto work”

Good-o.

That Lily can be a bit strange.

When Debbie comes in to see Elizabeth:

[Lily] “Do you want to talk to mum … that’s good, if she has someone to talk to, I can get on with my review”

Lily is either old beyond her years, or a bit creepy …

Debbie and Elizabeth make friends

Debbie apologies to Elizabeth for overreacting to Elizabeth’s comment about Ruairi at the panto, and Elizabeth apologises for having mentioned him looking like Siobhan in the first place.

[Elizabeth] “I knew perfectly well how you felt about Siobhan, and to bring her up like that …”

[Debbie] “I was horribly insensitive, and you’re right, he does look like his mother”

[Elizabeth] “Your mum has been amazing. I didn’t mean to belittle what she’s done”

[Debbie] “If she can be so generous and forgiving and accept Ruari into her life and love him, like her own child, then, how can I have let this drag on for nearly ten years … I’m so sorry, particularly this last year, with what you’ve had to bear … I should have been … I should have made more of an effort. I should have been there for you”

[Elizabeth, sobbing] “You're here now, I can’t tell you what that means to me. That we’re friends again”

Ah, that’s nice.

Elizabeth does need all the friends she can get. And so will Debbie, once word about the Super Dairy gets out …

A year on since Nigel 02/01/12

The Archers Monday 2nd January 2012

Helen can spell but might run out of cake
Helen is “tired” again
To the Panto
Memories of Nigel
Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues
Good lord … Tom to procreate?
Tom doesn’t rate Emma
Henry walks!

Helen can spell but might run out of cake

It’s Henry’s first birthday, and his ever delighted mum has made him a cake. It doesn’t sound perfect, but Helen’s not bothered.

[Helen] “This one maybe a bit cockeyed, but by the time he’s about 15 I’ll have got the hang of it”

She certainly wouldn’t have had anything but perfection before this time last year …

When they later come to blowing out the candles, Tom helps Henry do it. Seems he’s already taught Henry how to blow raspberries, so they use that technique on the candles.

Tom and Henry’s spit on the birthday cake.

Nice.

Helen is “tired” again

After Nic and Will’s wedding.

To the Panto

Jill and Elizabeth are at the Panto with Freddie and Lily.

I thought it was odd that Elizabeth was so keen on taking the twins to the panto, but she explains that it was a way of getting them out of the house and to something completely different.

Lily is remembering that Nigel once played a dame. He was Nigella to Nelson Gabriel’s Gabrielle.

When Debbie arrives with Ruairi, she remembers playing Robin Hood in a village panto, with her (now ex) husband playing the Sheriff of Nottingham. She thought that was very apt for Simon Gerrard, in hindsight …

[Debbie] “I always got cast as the man in the village panto”

Which Jill reckons was a result of Debbie being tall.

Anyhoo, seems the kids enjoyed the panto, though:

[Lily] “I thought Prince Charming was a bit soppy”

Memories of Nigel

The Pargetters seem to be coping quite well on the anniversary of Nigel’s death.

Elizabeth tells Jill that the Twins were a bit tearful this morning, especially Freddie. She seems to be a bit tearful herself:

[Elizabeth] “Just sometimes .. I get ambushed by memories … The harder you try not to think about something …”

But she does seem very calm, considering. Her kids are making sure that she keeps on an even keel.

[Jill] “She always seems to know when her mum needs looking after …It might be better if she gave into her feelings a bit more”

Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues

Elizabeth was not at all pleased when Debbie come to the panto with Ruairi.

When Elizabeth later blurts out that she thinks Ruairi looks so like his mother …

[Debbie] “When you said his mother, I though you meant my mother. She’s the one he calls mum. She’s the one he turns to when he’s sad or hurt. I don’t suppose he even remembers … her …”

Debbie spat out that “her”.

If we recall back, Elizabeth was Siobhan’s friend. Looks like Debbie still hasn’t forgiven her for that.

Good lord … Tom to procreate?

Henry’s opening his presents.

[Helen] “You don’t care, do you? You just like playing with the pretty shiny paper”

Henry doesn’t even shown an interest in a wooden truck with red wheels, full of coloured bricks. So Tom starts playing with it to show Henry how marvellous it is.

[Tom] “Being an uncle’s the best fun in the world, you can stop pretending to be a grown up all the time!”

[Helen] “What about being a dad … have you and Brenda thought about having one of your own?”

Tom says he has been thinking about it.

Oh the horror!

Tom doesn’t rate Emma

Helen was talking about herself and Emma going back to work tomorrow.

[Tom] “Work? What work?”

Seems Tom doesn’t think cleaning at Brookfield is proper work.

[Tom] “Not quite as challenging as a full day in Ambridge Organics!”

Henry walks!

And on his first birthday.

Perfectly timed. That boy will go far (especially now he’s mobile!)

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Christmas Day 25/12/11

The Archers Sunday 25th December 2011

Tracey starts well
Bridge Farm also starts well
The Carters’ Christmas morning party
Debbie on Panto duty
Bridge Farm implodes

Tracey starts well

She, Brad and Chelsea have setup the Carters’ Christmas morning party while Susan and Neil were at church.

All very impressive.

Though Susan complains that they’ve set out too many crisps and peanuts, which doesn’t set the right tone.

[Susan] “What will the Aldridges think?”

Neil and Susan then seem to try and get rid of Tracey and her brood for a bit, by suggesting that they go out for a walk.

[Tracey] “A walk, on Christmas day? And miss all the fun?”

There’s a glint of mischief in Tracey’s eye …

She starts talking about the Aldridge’s and ‘Roodey’ (Ruairi). Tracey was wondering if they’d leave him with his nanny, to be told that he doesn’t have one – he’s at Boarding school.

[Tracey] “Poor mite … still I suppose it’s understandable in the circumstances …. being Brian’s love child”

Susan is horrified. She makes Tracey promise that she won’t say anything like that to Jennifer or Brian.

Bridge Farm also starts well

Henry’s first Christmas, and his favourite present (at the moment) is a train set.

Tony and Helen are also having a moment:

[Tony] “We never forget how lucky we are he’s here. Both of you are … bit different from last year, you and I barely speaking to each other”

[Helen] “Seems so silly now”

[Tony] “Well it did the moment I saw Henry, when I thought I might lose both of you”

They agree they’re both lucky, especially when they think of Elizabeth and the twins.

While they’ll be celebrating Henry’s first birthday next Monday, the other half of the Archer clan will be mourning their loss of Nigel.

Anyway – back to Christmas. Brenda, Tom, Mike, Vicky, and Kathy will be coming over to Bridge Farm later.

The Carters’ Christmas morning party

All seems to be jolly enough, but Susan is worried that Tracey had been talking to Jennifer and Brian for a long time,

[Neil] “They look quite hypnotised”

[Susan] “That’s what worrying me … I think we should go and break it up”

[Neil] “What, both of us?”

[Susan] “Well it might take two”

While they steel themselves, we eavesdrop in on Tracey’s conversation with the Aldridges.

[Tracey] “Well you know what it’s like, don’t you, well you being married 3 times, talk about a glutton for punishment!”

[Jennifer] “It’s twice, actually”

[Tracey] “Oh, yes sorry, I get confused with you having four children”

[Brian] “Five”

[Tracey] “Oh yes, counting Ruairi”

[Jennifer] “Which we do”

[Tracey] “Oh, I think that’s great, what with you not being his birth mother …”

[Brian] “Ruairi couldn’t wish for a better mother”

[Jennifer] “Oh thank you darling … I do completely think of him as my own”

[Tracey] “Pretty wonderful wife too, you’re a lucky man”

Susan would be appalled – Tracey was warned not to talk about Ruairi not being Jennifer’s by birth.

They’re all then distracted by the sight of Ruairi eating all of the canapés.

[Tracey] “Greedy?”

[Jennifer] “Sophisticated taste!”

Tracey tells Jennifer and Brian that Ruairi's only eating the canapés because Susan hid the crisps and nuts as Susan reckoned it lowered the tone … Jennifer tittered at that (Susan will be furious!). Susan then makes her interruption with Neil, he offering top ups and she apologising for the lack of canapés (Emma is on the way with more).

[Tracey] “It just shows you, people will eat anything at Christmas!”

(cheeky!)

[Tracey] “I expect he’s eating them cause he’s bored, nothing much for the children to do is there?”

Susan takes her new opportunity to get rid of Tracey, and tells her to take all of the kids upstairs to watch a DVD.

Later on, Tracey returns to say that Ruairi has been sick. Jennifer rushes off to him.

[Tracey] “It’s her son. Let her find the disinfect and the rubber gloves herself”

Tracey blames the canapés (she reckons kids shouldn’t eat them), but Susan blames the chocolate that Tracey had given him. On top of the canapés.

Debbie on Panto duty

Jennifer’s now worried about taking Ruairi and the twins, with Elizabeth, to the Panto on Monday.

I suppose she doesn’t want to have to cope with any ‘scenes’, with it being the anniversary of Nigel’s death.

So Brian suggests Debbie takes Ruairi in her place.

Sure Debbie will thank him for that (and also think twice about coming home again)

Bridge Farm implodes

Once Tom and Brenda arrive, and are talking to Helen:

[Brenda] “Tom’s determined you’re going to have a great Christmas, despite the elephant in the room”

[Tom] “That elephant’s long packed its trunk and has left our circus!”

BUT Helen now quite likes to think of John having a son.

[Helen] “A little bit of him carrying on”

Tom does not concur.

[Tom] “Dad’s right, we should be thinking about the little bit of you that’s carrying on “

Later on, as Henry is zipping about the room in his new walker (the wee toots is already trying to make it out of the door!), the while family is talking about how special Henry is. That he sat up, got his first tooth and also rolled over early. (Doesn’t every baby?)

[Helen] “Just think mum, this time last year you didn’t even have a grandson!”

To which Pat starts sobbing and runs off, much to Helen’s bemusement.

[Tom] “But she wasn’t thinking of Henry, was she dad. She was thinking of Rich!”

Tony sends Brenda off after Pat (he still doesn’t see her as being family enough to join in family discussions). Tom reckons he had smelled out that something had happened …

[Tony] “You mother and I … have seen him. Have seen Rich”

But that’s when the secret microphones are turned off. So we don’t get to hear the full implosion …

The entire Horrobin clan, a golden owl and bad badgers: The Archers Friday 16th December 2011

Ruairi’s back
Christmas morn with the Carters
No Debbie for Christmas
“Welcome to the holidays!”
Next to the golden owl …
Bad badgers!
Tony knows how to check browser history
Tony makes a confession

Ruairi’s back

And off to see the Buttons.

[Brian] “Don’t tell me he’s started chasing after Molly!”

Typical first thought from Brian.

Ruairi’s off to see their cousin, who happens to also goes to his school.

Seems Ruairi has enjoyed his first term. Maths and football are his favourite so far – though Brian reckons he’s realise how wonderful rugby is when he gets to it (as it’s a “real game”).

Jennifer and Brian are also only putting up their tree today, and a festive wreath that Jennifer made.

Christmas morn with the Carters

Brian was blissfully unaware that he and Jennifer will be spending Christmas morning at the Carters. Obviously Alice and Chris will be there, as well as the rest of their family.

[Brian] “The entire Horrobin clan? All my Christmases come at home … as long as she doesn’t bother with parmesan breadsticks again …”

Brian’s wish is unlikely to come true. Neil had been previously complaining of having to taste the parmesan breadstick attempts.

No Debbie for Christmas

But she’ll be back in Ambridge for Hogmanay.

I’d normally think that was a shame, but I’m not as keen on Debbie since she started all of the Super Dairy nonsense. Which is more about how she took Brian’s side over Adam than me actually taking sides.

Anyhoo, Brian was later on the phone to Debbie. They were mainly talking business, but he also reported to Jennifer that Debbie was not in a “persuadable mood” (so definite no to Christmas). On business:

[Brian] “She doesn’t appreciate the heavy lifting I’m doing back here … I’d like to see her get the idea of complete confidentiality into Pete Wilkes’ head, but I’m not sure it’s possible without surgery”

“Welcome to the holidays!”

So says David.

But don’t worry – he’s not becoming Americanised. He was talking to Pip, who is on her first day of her Uni holidays. So he meant it literally.

Next to the golden owl …

Is where Pat and Tony are to meet Eamon, Sharon … and Rich.

Eamon calls Tony to say that Sharon’s starting to get cold feet about them meeting Rich, so they need to rush on. It has to be this Sunday.

They’re to meet at Leeds Christmas Market, at the Civic Hall, next to the golden owl on a pedestal (the one on the right).

Eamon also stipulates that Tony and Pat cannot make Rich uncomfortable by “staring at him, and the like”:

[Eamon] “She (Sharon) doesn’t trust you to hold your peace … when it’s over, it’s over … If you don’t play straight with us about that we’ll put our side of the story to him and I doubt he’ll ever want to meet you again after that”

Tony hasn’t even told Pat that he called Sharon, spoke to Eamon, who then called back to say that they could meet Rich (only once, very briefly, with Sharon and Eamon and they have to pretend that they’re just old friends). He thinks it’ll be hard to make Pat understand all of these stipulations.

Bad badgers!

Environmental Health has been to Brookfield. They have approved Brookfield to spread their slurry (deregation) but:

[David] “I should have been monitoring the situation much more closely, apparently”

[Pip] “How? Have a webcam in the badger set?”

Seems it has been proved that it was badgers who damaged the slurry lagoon – the damage is right in line with their set.

[David] “Lining it is going to cost £20,000 and we’ll have to get permission to disturb the badgers, can you believe it?”

[Pip] “Well, they didn’t get permission to disturb us!”

Seriously. All badgers to evacuate Brookfield land immediately and head to Grange Farm. Will be far safer.

Tony knows how to check browser history

Tony knew that Pat had been checking schools to see if she could track down Rich.

[Tony] “I wasn’t snooping but you didn’t clear the history the last time”

Well, sounds like snooping to me.

And how did Tony learn to do that?

Tony makes a confession

As well as snooping on Pat, Tony also has to admit that he called Sharon, and they are now to meet Rich on Sunday, With very strict stipulations.

[Tony] “We’re allowed to see him, say hello, but that’s it. We can never get in touch again”

[Pat] “I want him to know about us. About John … That’s wicked”

[Tony] “I think they’re frightened about what might happen to their family”

[Pat] “But it’s so little, Tony”

You’ll have to behave, Pat. It is a little, but it’s all that’s on offer.

Sunday, 13 November 2011

The Archers Friday 11th November 2011: Brian’s been fibbing to Debbie

(and I still find it strange that Debbie calls him ‘dad’)

Debbie’s fresh from the Hungarian plains
Susan still isn’t convinced about those rings
Kylie makes up her mind about Clive
Andrew is very dull indeed
Kylie doesn’t remember the caravan
Brian blames Lilian

Debbie’s fresh from the Hungarian plains

According to Brian.

She’s back over for a Borchester Land meeting about the Super Dairy.

Jennifer is upset on two accounts. Firstly, that Debbie isn’t stopping over – she’s here for the meeting then back to Hungry again.

And second, about Adam’s feeling about the Super Diary.

But Brian reassures Debbie that he’s sorted everything with Adam.

Susan still isn’t convinced about those rings.

She thinks Clive cheated Bert out of them.

[Susan] “Mum would never have left those rings to Clive. Never. Not in a million years … rings don’t go to sons, they go to daughters … Clive got hold of him when he was upset and vulnerable, got round him with his smarmy cheating lies, or just plain bullied him. Preying on a defenceless man … I can’t believe I was so stupid. I’ll never believe a word he says ever again”

Here’s hoping.

But either way, I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Clive yet.

Kylie makes up her mind about Clive

She doesn’t want to see him again nor have any contact with him.

All that after one meeting. Kirsty is quite an astute judge of character, methinks.

Andrew is very dull indeed

He’s on the BL Board, so was at the meeting about the Super Dairy, but I missed most of what he said.

Very dull indeed.

He seemed to be quizzing Debbie about the size of the Dairy.

And the main point I heard him say (between dozing) was that he’d heard Adam wasn’t backing Home Farm’s involvement.

Which was actually quite important.

BL don’t want to make any decisions until Adam (so the whole of Home Farm) is supportive of the project.

So, no decisions about the Super Dairy until January. Which give Brian ample time to brood about it.

Kylie doesn’t remember the caravan

Nor anything else about her time at Bridge Farm. Apart from her mum always being stressed out when they were there.

But she’s met Pat, who she likes.

Kylie had a thirteen year old brother called Rich, and has a stepdad called Eamon. Eamon has been with Sharon for quite a while, and Kylie sees him as her dad proper.

So, really no need for a Clive in her life. Thank goodness.

Susan even reckons that Clive walking out on them was the best thing he’s ever done.

Brian blames Lilian

For telling that Andrew about Adam not backing the Super Dairy.

Debbie isn’t best pleased with Brian, as he’d earlier told her that he and Adam had reached “an understanding”.

But, Brian now claims that the understanding was that he and Debbie wanted the Super Diary, so could carry on regardless as they had the majority share between them.

Is it just me, or is Brian being a bit thick?

Debbie would have found out that Adam was still against the plans, and would have also found out that Brian had basically told Adam that he was being outvoted.

And – now that Debbie knows – she reckons the whole project is “dead”.

No Adam. No Super Dairy.

Sweet talk your way out of that one, Brian.

Monday, 31 October 2011

The Archers Friday 28th October 2011: Helen’s butch ice cream

(I kid you not)

Adam’s not for changing
Lynda bores Ian
Helen has the answer for Bridge Farm

Adam’s not for changing

Debbie’s on the phone to Adam asking how his visit to a Super Dairy went.

It’s a smaller one than Brian and Debbie want, and while Adam reckons it was a slick operation, that the cows looked well enough looked after and that hygiene (and the such) was fine:

[Adam] “My basic philosophical objection remains the same”

[Debbie] “You like to see cows outside. In the few months of the year that’s possible in the UK …”

[Adam] “The cows aren’t in at Brookfield yet”

[Debbie] “Oh the Brookfield grazing system is hardly representative!”

(actually, Debbie, a lot of the cows round our way are also still out and about)

Adam really isn’t convinced by any of Debbie or Brian’s arguments. He’s not happy about the principle, the economics or how he fits into the whole plan (he actually reckons he isn’t being given a proper place in this scheme).

[Adam] “If you and Brian had hoped for some Damascene conversion that was going to bring me round the
idea then bad luck”

Seems Debbie has been dreaming profit per cow versus profit per square foot – which doesn’t impress Adam.

Neither does her offer of releasing 100 acres back to Home Farm for Adam to use as he likes. He just sees that as an empty gesture to keep him quiet.

He’s more worried about Home Farm basically becoming a junior partner to Borchester Land.

[Adam] “You’ve worked for BL long enough to know how often there’s blood on the carpet after Board meetings”

But Debbie’s patience is wearing thin. She pushes Adam to take the land or not – then later seems to be siding with Brian that Adam is being unreasonable in face of what is a really good deal for Home Farm.

[Brian] “It’s all I can do not to strangle him half the time”

So Debbie has failed to convince – it’s over to Brian.

Adam is sure to respond to Brian … (!)

Lynda bores Ian

Lynda’s trapped Ian while he waits for Helen.

He actually seemed quite scared by her talk of Christmas around the World.

It was seem, according to Lynda, that Angela Probert has indeed agreed for her dancing kids to do “festive folk dances from around the world”. And Elona’s daughter Anna will do a guitar solo.

Though Anna’s offer to play Greensleeves did not go down well with Lynda. She felt it wasn’t very Albanian …

[Ian – out loud] “Come on Helen …”

[Lynda] “After all this isn’t some end of the pier variety show!”

Lynda says she still has hopes for Usha to take part, and:

[Lynda ] “Molly Button has surfaced!”

[Ian], not sounding desperate] “Bright as a button, eh”

[Lynda] “She and Tilly are going to do the tie coconut dance … so gradually we’re starting to reach beyond the confines of the British Isles … just required some lateral thinking”

Lynda asks Ian if she should ask Adam to do something, considering he’s spent time in Africa, but Helen arrives to save Ian (and Adam) in the nick of time.

Blimey.

I actually thought Lynda was going to push our Ian into being abrupt … or rude!

Helen has the answer for Bridge Farm

Helen’s caught in the middle between Tom and their folks.

Talking to Ian about it, she can see Tom’s reasoning about rebranding everything away from the Bridge Farm brand, but:

[Helen] “Tom’s been using it as a weapon to beat mum and dad with …I mean Tom Archer may sound alright on sausages, but for yoghurt and ice cream, that’s just too butch somehow”

[Ian] “Butch ice cream? I think you may have identified a niche market there”

As Ian suggests to Helen, she is also put out that Tom is pushing for everything to be called Tom.

[Helen] “It does feel like a takeover by Tom”

Seems Helen would like to be able to talk it all over with the “best person to ask”, but she can’t. Why on earth either of them thinks Brenda would be of any use, I do not know …

And then, during a rather shocking moment when Helen lets Henry have a wee bit of cake rather than yoghurt.

(still can’t get over the change in Helen), Ian and Helen come up with a blinder of an idea.

Why not move the brand onto the next generation, and call everything Henry’s?

I can actually see Tony and Pat maybe going for that (though they would still be devastated to lose the Bridge Farm brand they spent decades building), but Tom …. surely he wouldn’t go for it.

His ego just wouldn’t allow it.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Archers Thursday 13th October 2011: Adam is most certainly not amused

Will forgot his sandwiches
Will’s not happy about Clive
Will, a wallpaper?
Adam is not for turning

Will forgot his sandwiches

But it’s okay.

Nic brought then to him. And brought her own. So they had lunch together.

Will’s not happy about Clive

Join the queue!

Seems Emma has been ringing about George being there to meet Clive.

[Will] “I’m not really happy about it … why she’s doing it?”

[Nic] “To please her grandmother”

[Will] “Well, that’s not worth upsetting George for”

Clive really is stirring it already.

Emma doesn’t want him there. Will doesn’t want him there. George doesn’t know him (as Will and Nic said – Clive means nothing to him – Will would rather it stayed that way). But as Clive has his mother’s love, he can turn the situation to his advantage.
What his game is, I don’t know.

Do we think he just genuinely wants to meet his nephews and niece?

But – knowing this isn’t Emma’s fault, and they’re all in a difficult position, Will agrees for George to meet Clive.

Will, a wallpaper?

Will wants to be “in the background” when Nic next goes to see Andrew.

No chance, I thought. Will’s not for blending!

But low and behold – they went to see Andrew, and Will did nothing but stick to the shadows.

Seems Andrew had split up with his girlfriend, which is why he was being so off with Nic, and rubbish in dealing with the kids.

[Nic] “He did say he was sorry, will. You heard him”

Nic reckons Andrew “really opened up”.

So hopefully that’s that then.

[Nic] “Having you there Will, quietly backing me up. It made the difference”

[Will] “You’ve got me. I’m always going to be there for you Nic”

[Nic] “I’m sorry I misjudged you … I thought you’d get into a slanging match, I should have known better”

[Will] “No. I’m glad you said it. Really glad”

[Nic] “Oh Will, I feel I can face anything with you here”

Aw.

Seriously – wedding bells!

They haven’t got much time if we’re to enjoy a Christmas wedding in Ambridge!

Adam is not for turning

Brian tells Adam about the Super Dairy plans.

To say Adam is not happy is to put it very mildly indeed.

[Adam] “Damn right I have some questions … I can’t believe what you’ve just told me … I don’t know where to start … perhaps with this outstanding act of betrayal by my sister … she cooks up this entire scenario behind my back without a word to me … over my dead body!”

Brian starts fibbing again, claiming that some other BL board member had come up with the suggestion of Home Farm being part of the Super Dairy.

Then Debbie comes in:

[Debbie] “Nothing is going to happen without you agreeing to it or being consulted”

[Adam] “Why couldn’t you have been straight about it … you can’t have much confidence in this scheme, Debbie, if you thought the only way I’d agree if you presented me with a fait accompli”

Brian leaves, and Debbie tires to persuade Adam that it’s actually Brian that mishandled everything. That Brian should have let Debbie talk to Adam first.

But, Adam isn’t one for feeling calm and rationale right now,

[Adam] “The scale … fells so wrong … cows should be outside not farmed for 360 days per year”

But Debbie explains that the cows will be in roomy and clean accommodation, that most farm animals don’t get the ‘natural environment' they should have.

Adam is worried about changing all of Home Farm’s land to arable. That it’ll loose diversity.

Debbie reckons it means they have more control. That it’s actually a “perfect circle.

[Adam] “People round here won’t think it’s perfect; They’ll see an industrial sized unit like this as a threat to three very popular farms. It could be a PR disaster”

And Adam is worried about his sheep and venison businesses.

He's actually worried about his business.

They’re trying to change it all without him.

Adam sees it as a “takeover”. That it was meant to be Debbie doing the arable, him doing the rest. That Debbie now wants the rest for arable, which leaves him with nothing.

[Debbie] “It's a radical rethinking. The world’s changed, we need to change with it”

But please note – Debbie then talked about how she and Adam need to now renegotiate the deal they have with Brian. Which Brian doesn’t know about, as yet.

Ah – crafty Debbie.

This might not all turn out as well as Brian planned.

While Adam thinks that the Super Diary would be wrong for Home Farm – and totally the wrong scale for Ambridge – Debbie’s mind is on bigger things.

As well as the Dairy, she’s also thinking about how:

[Debbie] “Divisions of labour won’t work anymore … tear up and start again”

Seriously. I think Brian might be in trouble …

The Archers Wednesday 12th October 2011: Debbie presents … the Super Dairy!

You’re not a woman if you don’t say anything?
Conflict of interest, surely?
“What’s not to like?”
Tom’s oblivious
Why doesn’t Brian want Debbie to tell Adam?

You’re not a woman if you don’t say anything?

Annabelle was very welcoming to Debbie at Borchester Land’s Board meeting.

Seems she was glad to have another woman.

Seems Barbara doesn’t count as she doesn’t utter a word.

Conflict of interest, surely?

Brian and Debbie have already discussed that Home Farm would be part of the Super Dairy project.

He doesn’t chair the Board meeting, as he has an obvious interest, but he hasn’t exactly told the Board that he’s planning to directly profit.

Seems he’s “playing his cards close to his chest”. Which he’s often apt to do.

[Annabelle] “And create fascinating possibilities out of airy nothing”

“What’s not to like?”

Debbie’s presentation to the BL Board went along the lines of:

[Debbie] “What I’m proposing would simply be a high performance, high welfare, high profitability dairy enterprise of which there are many in mainland Europe”

She reckons it makes good business sense – good farming sense – good environmental sense:

[Debbie] “What’s not to like?”

So Debbie’s plan is to have 1,000 cows each producing 10,000 litres of milk per lactation. They’ll be fed almost entirely fed by crops grown on the estate. The running costs are seemingly high BUT if Home Farm comes in, they can feed an extra 500 cows, with the same running costs but higher return.

(crafty Brian – very crafty)

The BL Board does ask about whether it’d put other farms at risk – whether BL would be alienating their actual Mart customers. And what about the milk markets not being guaranteed? And the cost of feed, especially if crops fail?

But Debbie reckons that they’re a different market to the traditional dairy farms. And that the estate will control its own costs – plus it’ll be a large enough customer to be able to strongly negotiate with suppliers.

So what does the Board vote?

A resounding Yes.

Oh my.

Ambridge residents won’t be pleased at all.

I predict Lynda and a placard …

Tom’s oblivious

Pat and Tony had just helped birth two calves. It doesn’t lighten the mood, though.

[Pat] “I can raise them, but I can’t sell their products”

In that frame of mind, the last thing they needed was Tom’s ‘good’ news.

He comes bursting in to tell them that Underwoods has agreed to sell tom Archers’ Borchester Sausages.

[Tom] “This proves it. Rebranding will solve our problems. This could be a turning point for all of us!”

Sorry – but is Tom really that thick? Does he have an utter lack of empathy? Is he actually a sociopath?

As Tony and Pat discuss later on:

[Pat] “I feel dreadful I can’t be as happy as he can … I don’t want him to think I begrudge him his success”

[Tony] “Pat, he was so high in it he didn’t really notice how we were reacting”

As Pat says – she and Tony out everything they had into the Bridge Farm brand. She personally worked so hard on getting into Underwoods in the first place, and was rightly proud of what they’d achieved.

[Pat] “Then it came all crashing down”

Tom really does need a slap. Fair enough that he gets on with making his business a success, but not without any tact around his poor folks.

Why doesn’t Brian want Debbie to tell Adam?

Adam knows Debbie is back over, but doesn’t know she’s presenting to the BL Board.

Brian’s lied to him, and said Debbie’s back to help Jennifer not be so lonely – and he’s also sent Adam out to break apart and sort the combine, to distract him.

Hmmm.

Adam’s a partner alongside Brian and Debbie in the Home Farm business, so he has to agree.

[Debbie] “Let’s hope I can have the same effect on Adam”

[Brian] “Slow down, there no rush … tricky conversation”

What’s Brian’s issue?

They should have told Adam in the first place.

But surely Debbie would be better breaking the news?

Sunday, 25 September 2011

The Archers Thursday 22nd September 2011: Will and Nic go out

Joe insisted on showing Will his onions
Nic’s getting ready for a big night out
Debbie doesn’t impress David
Seems Zofia and Harry are having tearful goodbyes
What’s Susan’s bookclub book choice?
I’d like canapés in my lunch box
For once, it wasn’t Will's fault
Brookfield to fall to Home Farm?

Joe insisted on showing Will his onions

Well, Joe is of that age. And it is nearly Flower and Produce show time.

Nic’s getting ready for a big night out

She wants Will home in good time for a special supper, after she’s had time to have a bath and relax, then they’re off out to a gig,

[Nic] “I wanted to get glammed up for my man … Mitch Riley … I’m joking, Why would I want a lead singer when I’ve got you!”

(is Mitch Riley a real person, or a fabrication of Nic’s imagination?)

Debbie doesn’t impress David

With her talk of super dairies.

David was asking her if she thought that super dairies were the way the world was going.

[Debbie] “As far as the UK is concerned, I can see for all types, to be honest”

Debbie reckons that while “traditional” dairy farmers like David will do deals and sell direct into supermarkets and the like, the super dairies will sell on commodity markets – on a global scale.

David isn’t so sure.

He reckons that where UK super dairies will have thousands of cows, American ones will have thirty thousand. Meaning the Americans will drive down the global price, so UK super dairies have to go back into selling into local and national retailers – squeezing chaps like David out.

Seems Zofia and Harry are having tearful goodbyes

Though we don’t get to hear them. It’s Jennifer telling Brian about it.

Will Harry settle back into his Odd Couple relationship with Jazzer?

Will Fallon now have a look-in?

What’s Susan’s bookclub book choice?

Neither Jennifer nor Brian seems to be impressed by it.

[Jennifer] “That wretched tome I’ve having to plough through for the book club …”

Brian remembers that Jennifer was on about a character in it called Agnes, who had to walk through the snow for Christmas – Jennifer tells him that Agnes had to sleep in a sheep shed, and was “about to come under the influence of the local landowner …"

Crickey

But neither Jennifer nor Brian tells is what the book is. What is annoying.

I’d like canapés in my lunch box

[Jennifer] “Poor Neil is getting canapé in his lunch box”

Seems Susan is going overdrive in trying to keep up with Jennifer.

Jennifer hosted the last bookclub meeting, so Susan’s determined to have as good as, if not better, hospitality.

So she’s testing her food out on Neil.

Whereas Brian reckons that Neil would be far happier with a cheese and pickle sandwich – I’d be quite happy to be such a guinea pig.

Sounds yum.

For once, it wasn’t Will's fault

Will arrives home to find a rather annoyed and upset Nic.

Seems her ex, Andrew, didn’t pick the kids up from school.

So Nic had to go and get them, grovel to their children, and then annoy her mum by having the dump the kids off with her.

Andrew texted after the fact (something had could up, he claims) but now won’t switch his phone on.to answer Nic.

[Nic] “Everything’s spoilt … I haven’t even started the supper. I was going to do it in a lovely white sauce … I was going to have a really nice afternoon, pampering myself, now I look like an old frump … it’s just typical of him”

[Will] “I’m not going to let him ruin our plans … so let’s forget about your stupid ex and let’s get ready to party”

So Will cooks a rather passable supper while Nic gets ready.

He reckons she looks fabulous.

[Will] “How did I get to be so luck?”

[Nic] “It’s not luck. It’s just you”

Nic actually apologises for her outburst earlier on (blimey – who’d ever thought it’s be Nic rather than Will saying that?).

Nic kisses Will.

[Will] “What was that for?”

[Nic] “Everything,. Being you. Love you, Will Grundy”

Must (must) mean there will be wedding bells soon.

Brookfield to fall to Home Farm?

Debbie wants to have 1,500 cows on the super diary. That means she needs Borchester Land, and Home Farm to get involved.

In fact, if Debbie can persuade David to get involved – she could get the cows up to 2,000.

[Brian] “I can’t see that happening”

Debbie agrees, but she is a canny lady. We’ll have to keep our eye on her.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

The Archers Tuesday 20th September 2011: Chris and Brian’s candlesticks

Debbie is just outside Basingstoke
Peggy has a sore head
Chris had an odd request
At a new tea room near Darrington
Alice posing online
Enamel, decisions and a cloakroom

Debbie is just outside Basingstoke

Looking at more super dairies.

She’s really serious about it, then.

Peggy has a sore head

Oh dear. I hope this isn’t the start of something …

Peggy is very stressed.

Jack is out of hospital, and back at The laurels, but it hasn’t made life any easier for Peggy.

He’s very “needy”, hasn’t settled, is confused and can’t eat properly as his grip hasn’t improved.

Elona is the only other person who can calm Jack, so Peggy is having to spend most of her day at The Laurels looking after Jack.

[Jennifer] “You can’t do that every day mum,. You must make some space for yourself, or you’ll tire yourself out”

[Peggy] “Easier said than done I’m afraid … if you saw the way his face lights up when he sees me, it warms your heart, it really does”

Worried that Peggy also isn’t eating properly (she had beans on toast for breakfast … the shame!), Jennifer persuades her to partake of her beef casserole supper that evening.

Chris had an odd request

[Chris] “I’ve got a favour to ask, it might seem a bit strange …you know that candlestick you’ve got on the landing near Ruairi’s room, do you think I could have a quick look and maybe take a photo?”

Jennifer and Brian consent.

[Chris] “It’s heavy …”

[Brian] “I used to used it to prop open my office door”

Turns out Chris wants to copy the candlestick, so that he can “knock one up” in his forge (out of steel). Seems Alice has a very warm liking for it.

Aw. What a sweet (relatively) newlywed chap he is.

Alice posing online

Jennifer is aghast!

Seems Alice is selling some of her clothes online (EBay, one would imagine).

[Brian] “And there will be pictures, I suppose … Jennifer is a touch worried about that”

[Chris] “Tell her Alice isn’t going to be wearing them .. it’s a thought though. We might do much better if she did”

At a new tea room near Darrington

The new tea room is where Jennifer takes Jill on her (Elizabeth’s) first day back driving.

Jill does approve of the tea room. It has “lovely China” (which Jill thinks make all the difference) and also has lovely cakes.

Then – they play a game of Jill mentioning David, while Elizabeth ignores such mentions and then changes the subject.

Elizabeth asks about Pip’s trip away – she ignores Jill’s mention of seeing Pip when she went over for David’s birthday.

Elizabeth talks about Pip and Spencer, and Pip going to Uni – she ignores Jill’s mention of David being proud of Pip - and wanting her to be able to stay farming at Brookfield.

Elizabeth then talks about Freddie looking forward to going hunting, even though she knows Jill doesn’t approve of hunting. Jill would rather Freddie was just happy riding in the ring.

Enamel, decisions and a cloakroom

Peggy manages to make it to Jennifer and Brian for supper.

She’s still tired.

Seems Ted’s been irritating her – continually asking what enamel she’s putting into the flower and produce show. One, according to Peggy, is as she wants it to be – the other is a bit “abstract … a splodge of different colours”. Any anyway, Peggy doesn’t feel like making decisions right now,

In fact, she’s so tired and worn down that she asks Brian to drive her home before she’s had any supper.

Poor Peggy.

(but she does still call a cloakroom a cloakroom. Wonderful).