The Archers Tuesday 29th March 2011: Nigel’s Inquest

• Don’t forget our Shula
• “They are only cows”
• Richard Rushworth – coroner for south Borchester
• Vicky is back, and in very good form
• David’s Inquest account
• Accidental death

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Don’t forget our Shula

If things had been slightly different, Nigel would have married Shula.

(well, if Shula had actually fancied him!)

Still, they were very good friends, and, as Shula said today, Nigel was incredibly supportive when Shula’s Mark was killed.


“They are only cows”

Just as David was leaving Brookfield to go to Nigel’s inquest, four cows were being taken away to slaughter because of Johne’s disease.

He’s a tad stressed and down about it, but is trying to keep it in perspective considering what Elizabeth has lost.

(How many cows do we reckon Nigel was worth?)..


Richard Rushworth – Coroner for south Borchester

Joined by Pam Clarkson, the Coroner’s Officer.

[Richard] “We’re here to induct an inquest into the death of Mr Nigel Gerald Pargetter. Its purpose is to establish the facts, who the deceased was, when, where and how he died …it’s an inquest not inquisition …”

At this point, I think we were all wondering if David would see it like that …



Vicky is back, and in very good form

I quite like Vicky.

Yes she’s loud and verging on offensive, but she doesn’t mean any harm. At least – she hasn’t so far.

She turns up as Hayley and Phoebe are shopping for Phoebe’s South Africa trip.

Phoebe’s being a bit stroppy (I paraphrase, but it was along the lines of ‘duh, mum. They have toothpaste in South Africa’)/

On chatting to Phoebe:

[Vicky] “You’re not happy about it, are you?”

Phoebe admits it’s all become such a big deal, and that she’s still stressed about it. Even with Jennifer tagging along.

But not to fear – Vicky has the solution, which she reveals as she takes them for something “nice” in Underwoods Café

As Hayley goes to get the something “nice”:

[Vicky] “What are you feeling then, Lovey?”

[Phoebe] “Three whole weeks. Without mum or dad. And Abby. And it’s Easter … It’s my own fault. I made such a fuss about going. And I can’t say anything now”

Phoebe still wants to go, but is feeling sad that she’ll be leaving her folks back in England – and she can’t talk to them about it as she made such a fuss to go in the first place.

[Vicky] “But that doesn’t mean like it isn’t perfectly normal to feel like you are. You have people you love in two different places”

So Vicky’s solution – buy Hayley something “nice” (she’s a poet and a half, is our Vicky), wrap it and hide it to be found when Phoebe has gone.
Buy something nice for them – hide it.

[Phoebe] “Oh Grandma Vicky … oh yes, yes please!”

[Vicky] “Oh look. I think I see cupcakes coming!”

Good on ya Vicky. Phoebe’s feeling bad that Hayley might think she doesn’t love her as much as she loves Kate (which isn’t true … I hope), so simple solution saves the day.

Brilliant.


David’s Inquest account

[David] “Nigel went out first … conditions dark … moon out … and it was cold … and the wind had got up a bit … tiles, bit of frost”

[Coroner] “You both start to inch your way across the roof …”

[David]” It wasn’t easy. Infact I slipped once. Nigel caught my arm. And then He volunteered to go and get the far end of the banner. He said he’d been clambouring around on that roof since he was a child … my end untied easily, the other end had been tied in a … it was more tricky”

[David] “Blew up … got caught on something … Nigel clamboured up after it … got loose again … flapped back in his face …started to slide down the roof … scrambling for footings with his hands and his feet … one of his shoes came off … I could see what was happening … I tried to get to him … Going through it now, I can see it all in slow motion. But at the time it was done in seconds”

On being asked by the coroner if he had anything else to add:

[David] “I’m so sorry Elizabeth!”

[Coroner] “Of course you are, Mr Archer. I’m sure we all are”

So – the banner was 10 foot – so David was a fair bit away from Nigel (so couldn’t get to him).

David also didn’t mention Kenton’s knot. Very noble and apt, but I wonder if that will come up in the next David/Kenton row?

And Nigel losing a show as he fell … that will stay with me for a long time.



Accidental death

[Elizabeth] “Accidental death. So. There we are”

And that’s that.

The coroner, everyone agrees, was very nice. And he said that because of the pitch of the roof, the frost and the banner – there was nothing David could have done.

But David still feels guilty. As he heads off to have a walk, he calls Ruth.

Trying to talk about cows rather than the inquest:

[David] “I said it was fine”

[Ruth] “David. This has to be an end to it, doesn’t it?”

[David] “An end?”

[Ruth] “It’s official. Accidental death. Case Closed. A line drawn under it. David, it’s over”

… we leave Ambridge as David is quietly sobbing down the phone to Ruth …

The Archers Wed 23rd March 2011: David and Ruth fallout over Johne’s

• Thought I’d stumbled onto an audio recording of Trainspotting
• David, Phil or Dan?
• Patsy and Horatio
• Poor Alistair
• A big boy did it and ran away
• George isn’t a happy chappy
• “You’re going a bit mad”
• Marty is back!
• Last man to see Nigel alive

Thought I’d stumbled onto an audio recording of Trainspotting

[Alistair] “It’s okay David, I’ve got the vein. Let me wipe it.”

Cripes!

It’s okay though. It was just Alistair testing the Brookfield herd for Johne’s Disease.

And anyway. Trainspotting is fiction.



David, Phil or Dan?

Alistair’s trying to reason with Ruth and David that Johne’s Disease could have been in the herd since Phil, and even Dan’s, time.

He also tries to explain that it could have been caused by “mismanagement, not just poor husbandry” – but either way, it sounds like someone (sometime) is to blame.

To make matters worse – while there is a vaccine, it’s one that interferes with TB testing. So is too big a risk.



Patsy and Horatio

Patsy, normally Brian and Jennifer’s cleaner, has started at Brookfield while Emma is off having the spawn of Ed.

And she seemingly has a cat called Horatio.

Fancy!

And what was the verdict on Patsy’s work?

[Ruth] “She was quite terrifying. Like a force of nature! I mean, Emma’s so easy going”

Later, Ed happens to say to Emma:

[Ed] “You should see David and Ruth’s kitchen, it’s gleaming!”

What an idiot. Emma then has to launch into how she does her best, but it is David and Ruth who are mingers (I paraphrase), and that Brookfield is so big.

I wonder what Ruth will find more important. A better cleaner, or a nicer cleaner.

From what Emma is saying, doesn’t sound like cleanliness is particularly high on Ruth’s priorities.




Poor Alistair

He asks both Ruth and David out for a drink, but only gets David.

That’s a shame.

David’s hardly the life and soul these days.



A big boy did it and ran away

Well, not quite, but I reckon that’s what David would have like to say to Ruth.

[Ruth] “Alistair’s talk of poor husbandry is quite timely, isn’t it … it was you who put off the repairs to the calf shed that caused them to cough”

[David] “Hey, that is not fair … if you had listened, Ruth, Alistair never said this outbreak had anything to do with recent lapses … it must have been in the herd for years”

[Ruth] “And I’m saying we shouldn’t be complacent, David. You’ve had your eye off the ball since January,. Your neglect could have devastating consequences down the line”

[David] “Don’t call it neglect”

[Ruth] “You left them in a draft in a bitter wind , what else should I call it … you were careless”

[David] “I did my best. But I head to give my time to Elizabeth. You were the one who was here, on the spot”

[Ruth] “Oh don’t you dare try to blame me for this … I kept this farm going. But I couldn’t do everything … (maintenance) if you dealt with them instead of playing superman at Lower Loxley!”

Thank goodness Ed interrupted them as he came out of Brookfield after collecting some of George’s toys. That was all very (very) shouty.

But I wonder is Ruth is right, and David is setting up disaster for whichever of their brood takes over Brookfield.

Later on, when David and Ruth have had a calm talk, and David meets Alistair for that pint, he’s also pondering if he’s setting Brookfield up for a fall.

[David] “It has made us question what we’re doing with the herd”

Main issue is whether he and Ruth have expanded the herd too fast.

Maybe. But it could indeed have been there for years – it could have been David’s ‘neglect’ – and, as Pip found on the internet, seemingly up to 50% of UK herds may have sudden clinical Johne’s disease.



George isn’t a happy chappy

Not only is he having to now share his drawers with the new (as yet to be born) baby – drawers for clothes, that is – his toys are also now being put away to create more room.

But not to worry, George.

Ed has the answer to all your woes.

[Ed] “Come on George, let’s settle you in front of the telly”

“You’re going a bit mad”

So says Ed to Emma.

Brave chap.

Emma does seem to be particularly stressed. Baby due. Lots to sort. And not enough temper to cope.

To top it all, Clarrie’s also coming round on Sunday for her lunch, after Eddie insisted (!).


Marty is back!

*Groan*

Marty is Jamie’s mate, and tends to encourage him to hang around, drinking.

I also think Marty does sound particularly thick …

Which is what they were doing when Alistair met them.

I never quite get the teenage propensity to snigger over nothing. Marty and Jamie though the fact that Alistair is Jamie’s (step)dad was worth a snigger.

[Marty] “I can see where Dan gets it”

Gets what?

A decent personality and basic politeness?

(hark at me ... Mary Whitehouse reincarnated)

Marty reckons Jamie’s lucky to only have one parent, as

[Marty] “They’re hard to dodge when there’s two of them”

Jamie’s quite rightly indignant that luck has nothing to do with it!

[Jamie] “My dad’s dead, Kenton’s deserted me, my step-mum’s gone mad … no-one gives a damn about me!”

*sigh*

That’s because you make it so hard to care, young sir.



Last man to see Nigel alive

Which is David. And he’s not looking forward to the inquest next week.

The Archers Mon 7th March 2011: Byron Chambers is a w***er

• David’s jealous of Ben
• Inquest date is set
• Elizabeth admits she’s selfish!!!
• Kenton Vs Byron
• David wants it deep
• Will Pip be intensive?
• (Pancake) party at The Bull
• Dry or sweet?

David’s jealous of Ben

David’s wishing life could be as simple as Ben’s.

Ben is super excited about going out with his other wee-men mates for a pizza. And it’s as simple as that.

Birthday. Mates. Pizza.

You know David – that’s doable, even at your age.


Inquest date is set

March 29th, at 3.30pm.

Is David going down?



Elizabeth admits she’s selfish!!!

Blimey. That should have been uttered many, many years ago.

[Elizabeth] “I’ve been so selfish, using him here so much”

Mind you – it’s not entirely Elizabeth’s fault. David should have grown a pair and told Elizabeth he couldn’t help her so much way before he did.

Reality also seems to be sinking in about what a massive task Elizabeth has to take on without Nigel – though she still doesn’t seem to understand that she can hire someone in to share that burden.

[Elizabeth] “All the things Nigel used to do are my responsibility now. Time I got used to it”

Kenton Vs Byron

My money would be on Kenton. Hell hath no fury like a protective brother.

[Elizabeth] “I had a long and interesting chat with Byron Chambers .. .delightful chap … accused me of not honouring Nigel’s memory”

[Kenton] “I’d have sorted him out. Shown him what he could do with his cod piece”

I’d pay good money to see that, I would.


David wants it deep

Seemingly Chicory and Plantain would do the job.

All about improving the grazing, seemingly.



Will Pip be intensive?

As Pip and David ponder whether she’ll get into University, David’s also wondering if Pip will come back from (whatever education she gets into) thinking that Brookfield’s way are old fashioned.

Just like David thought of Phil. And Phil though of Dan.

[David] “(you) might be become one of the high input factory style brigade”

Interesting.

More interesting, though, is whether it will actually be Pip to take over at Brookfield.

I reckon Josh is still in with a shout. And we don’t even know about Ben as yet.




(Pancake) party at The Bull

So says Kenton.

And I love the way Kenton calls David ‘Dave’.

Almost as good as Joe’s ‘David Archer’


Dry or sweet?

Well my answer is always ‘cider, please’, but Elizabeth has to make up her mind for the next batch of Lower Loxley wines.

She’s well out of her depth when she visits the winery, but John is a nice enough chap who reassures that Nigel was just as worried when he first had to make decisions about the wine.

But as one of Nigel’s passions, Elizabeth is particularly nervous about making the wrong choice.

[Elizabeth] “Please John – what would Nigel have decided?"