Pondering The Archers: freddie pargetter

Actually, I wonder if Scottish schools still do Scottish dancing as part of gym, as mine did.

Though you never wanted to touch your dance partner’s hand, it held us all in good stead for weddings and the like.

Lilian makes Whitby sound more alluring than New York

I didn’t think that would be possible!

Lilian sounds very down. She can’t pretend to muster much excitement for her “festive” Christmas, and New York was a very dour “marvelous”.

Everyone seems to think Whitby will be horrific in January (Lilian and Peggy leave for Whitby on Wednesday)

[Matt] “The wind will be whistling in from Siberia”

But Lilian knows what she’s doing. Her and Peggy’s hotel is a spa hotel.

Tom didn’t even get the tea bags

Tom went into the village shop to get tea bags, but Jim was serving/

When Tom got to paying for his tea bags.

[Tom] “Put my tea bags on the counter, offered Jim a fiver, but he just ignored it.”

Seems Jazzer’s warning to Jim that Tom was furious meant Jim was more interested in explaining to Tom why he’d written an article about Chris.

Seems Chris was more befitting to Borchester Life … especially as his workplace is more “picturesque”. Tom hasn’t quite got the same artisan workplace:

[Tom] “Which he referred to as my sausage factor.”

Ach well Tom.

When someone else is right, they’re right!

Freddie got gel from Josh for Christmas

Seems his hair was very noticeably gelled up.

Kirsty did go the ball

Seems Kirsty was quite nervous about going to the Lower Loxley New Year ball.

[Kirsty] “It’s the first time I’ve been to a proper, grown-up ball. No-one’s ever asked me before.”

Aw!

Matt reckons Lilian’s The Bell of the Ball

Matt and Lilian are also at Lower Loxley.

He’s having a grand time. And is full of compliments for Lilian.

[Matt] “We make a lovely couple … not just on the dance floor.”

I don’t think, somehow, that Matt will be as chirpy as 2013 unfolds …

“The best Christmas yet for sausages”

Poor Brenda. She really can’t take Tom out anywhere!

After he starts talking shop, Brenda goes off dancing with Ifty.

[Kirsty] “That’s what talking about sausages does for you. Your girlfriends goes off with another man!”

Tom’s bringing on middle age

[Kirsty] “You always used to enjoy being drunk and raucous … oh dear, you don’t think you might be getting middle aged before you’re time. You’re not eyeing up cardigans?”

Tom reckons not, but also reckons he’s happy to be settled. Wants to be married, Have kids, and the like.

[Tom]”If that’s being middle aged, well, bring it on!”

Hmmm.

Think Tom should check if Brenda agrees?

I’m telling you … Ifty and Elizabeth ….

Kirsty sounded quite jealous of Tom being so settled. She doesn’t feel she has her future planned, or her ‘forever’ partner.

Ifty’s a nice chap, but:

[Kirsty] “I’m not sure that he’s husband material.”

Whereas …

Elizabeth couldn’t find Freddie. Ifty suggested the stables, which is exactly where Freddie and one of his wee pals were.

Elizabeth gives herself a hard time for panicking. She just can’t help herself.

[Elizabeth] “The thing is, it’s been two years now since Nigel dies. I should be getting used to it.”

[Ifty] “Why? … that’s just an average, it doesn’t work for everyone.”

Seems Elizabeth still thinks of “what Nigel would say” all of the time, and thinks he wouldn’t forgive her if anything happens to their kids.

She also thinks Nigel would have known where to look for Freddie … which is just what Ifty was able to do.

Odds on a romance between Ifty and Elizabeth …

A’ the best for 2013!

We didn’t get to hear the bells come in Ambridge (well, it has happened yet).

But I’d just like to wish everyone a healthy and happy 2013.

Cheers!
Inga

Friday, 30 November 2012

Emma goes to the food bank: Wed 14.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Wednesday 14th November 2012

Make do wae nowt
Leonie gave olives to the food bank
Walking in on your daughter eating at the food bank
Sam Smith whacked Freddie in the shins
Is Emma being punished?
“Everything comes down to maths”

Make do wae nowt

Emma’s out shopping in Borchester.

Their account is empty, and she only has a fiver on her. Ed used what was left in the account for petrol

When Emma calls in a panic, all Ed can say is to “make do”.

That’s not exactly helpful …

[Emma] “Ed, we’ve got no food. I can’t make meals out of nothing.”

Leonie gave olives to the food bank

Numpty.

[Susan] “As if someone desperate enough to go to a foodbank would want them!”

Well, actually …

Walking in on your daughter eating at the food bank

The next we heard of Emma was her at a food bank, trying to get a food box.

Which she couldn’t do, as she needed a referral from a health visitor or the CAB.

Just as Emma is about to combust with frustration, the nice lady at the food bank says she can at least give her and Keira lunch there and then. They’re rather hungry, and later sounds like it’s a good enough lunch.

Trouble is, Susan’s also at the food bank (of course she is!), dropping off the food collected at the village shop.

Susan spots Emma.

[Emma] “It’s not what it looks like. We’ve never been here before. I was just walking past …”

Emma tries to bluff her way out, saying they’d been going to the supermarket but the cash machine was broken.

[Emma] “I just didn’t know what else to do …”

But, Emma can’t keep up the lie:

[Emma, while starting to cry] “We’ve no money. There’s nothing left. There isn’t any food at home, and I’m so hungry … I’ve been trying so hard. But it didn’t matter what I do, it’s never enough.”

[Susan] “Come here. What have you been going through?”

Ah well. At least Ed and Emma might get some proper help now. They can’t exactly deny their abject poverty.

Sam Smith whacked Freddie in the shins

Not sure what with, nor who Sam Smith is (apart from another pupil at Freddie’s school), but Freddie was quite upset about it.

Is Emma being punished?

Susan gets Emma home. Emma doesn’t even have any teabags as the kids don’t have it. Susan’s horrified, but to put it into perspective.

[Emma] “Bigger problems than not having a cuppa.”

Emma explains that she can’t work due to how much childcare will cost. Which is actually a good point (I admit, after months of telling her to get a job). And, Ed can’t work anymore than he does.

Susan’s heartbroken for them.

[Susan] “All that hard work Ed does, and he can’t even put food on the table.”

[Emma] “Nic and Will are never hard up. What do they do that’s so special … I just feel like, sometimes I'm still being punished for choosing Ed.”

Ah.

So, Emma thinks folks are thinking she got what she deserved. Which is why she’s so embarrassed (alongside the obvious reasons).

Anyhoo, Susan bought Emma’s shopping, which means Ed gets a slap up meal of steak and kidney later on. Though Emma has to tell him why Susan bought it for them.

[Emma] “She saw me, Ed, at the food bank in Borchester.”

[Ed, obviously very upset] “All I’ve ever wanted is to take care of you and the kids … prove to everyone that I’m not a waster, and look what’s happened.”

[Emma] “I know it’s hard, but if we don’t accept their help, I don’t know what we’ll do … now come on, we’ve got a nice dinner for once, try and enjoy it. Please.”

Grim.

“Everything comes down to maths”

Ifty has a nifty way of helping Freddie to enjoy maths.

(see what I did there! … sorry …)

He takes Freddie outside.

The pediment about Lower Loxley’s front door helps him teach Freddie about obtuse angles. Casper (the horse) helped with centimetres.

Well done Ifty.

Maybe if all of Freddie’s classes were like that, he’d do a bit better at school.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Joe’s got his second best teeth in: Wed 24.10.12 #thearchers

The Archers Wednesday 24th October 2012

What’s cheaper: village shop or supermarket?
Joe’s second best teeth
Freddie’s getting a maths tutor
Adam’s enthusiastic

What’s cheaper: village shop or supermarket?

One could be forgiven for thinking supermarkets are always cheaper, but there’s the petrol to consider.

It’s a conundrum Emma has to ponder.

As she does, while buying nappies, Neil comes in to pay her way.

Which she didn’t ask for, didn’t immediately accept and was grateful for.

Later on, while at Neil and Susan’s, Emma asks if she can take a slice of pie back for Ed (poor chap always loses out to the kids), and Neil gives her some sausages. Sausages are, after all, aplenty at Neil and Susan’s.

Again, Emma was very grateful.

Will this humbling experience actually make Emma a better person?

Joe’s second best teeth

After losing his best pair in the apple scratter, Joe has to resort to his second best pair.

[Joe] “Not very comfy, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

Trouble is, Joe’s second best pair shock (yes, shock!) people.

Seems they’re very white indeed. To the extent that Ruth even calls them American.

[David] “When he grinned at me, I didn’t know whether to smile back or run for the hills … talk about the big bad wolf … and the colour, good grief!”

[Neil] “They’re florescent.”

As you may remember from Apple Day, neither Joe nor Eddie told anyone that Joe’s other pair of teeth was smashed into the cider.

Though Joe’s not very good at keeping secrets:

[Joe] “You might say it was the apples getting their own back.”

Joe does realise he’s saying too much, so slopes off before everyone twigs. Which, of course, they have:

[David] “Ah, probably best not to think about it.”

Freddie’s getting a maths tutor

Poor Freddie.

But it’ll be Ifty.

That’ll soften the blow, surely?

A nice chap who likes cricket. What more could Freddie want?

Not having to do extra maths, maybe … ?

Adam’s enthusiastic

Which David’s glad to see, even though he thinks it’s because Adam is getting excited about the Super Dairy.

I suspect it might have more to do with Adam realising he’s never had it so good with Ian … post Pavel.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

David and Elizabeth, back together again: Thurs 13.09.12

The Archers Thursday 13th September 2012

Jim shares his shed secret with Lynda
If it was a choice between Mike or the baby …
Elizabeth walks in on David
Ambridge got a Bronze
Squirrel!

Jim shares his shed secret with Lynda

The village is still agog with tales of odd happenings in Jim’s shed.

[David] “Smoke pouring out of the door, and Jim rushing in with a bucket of water”

Later, Jim reveals that he’s been building a … drum roll … Greek/Roman oven

Clever Jim.

That’s what he’s been building in his shed. Though it’s only Lynda who gets to know his secret (so mind and not tell anyone else).

If it was a choice between Mike or the baby …

Neil’s a good mate

Neil makes sure he bumps into Mike, the makes sure Mike meets him later on for a chat.

Which is exactly what Mike needs. Someone to talk to.

[Mike] “Keep thinking I’m going to wake up … find out it’s all going to be a bad dream … never realised how happy I was, until this happened.”

Mike talks to Neil about how he and Vicky can’t talk.

[Mike] “Nothing seems to come natural. It’s like we’re both trying to fill the silence, somehow … all I can think about is how can we possibly manage, it’s like a dark cloud over me all the time … is it fair on the child … bringing it into the world.”

[Neil] “And you can’t say that to her?”

[Mike] “She can’t even think about it. She wants the baby Neil. I just wish I could turn the clock back.”

[Neil] “I know it’s not what either of you would have chosen, but it’s happened … and maybe there’s one thing you need to remember in all this … Vicky; made you so happy these last few years … she changed everything, didn’t she … so if you try to insist that she has a termination, won’t you risk losing her.”

[Mike] “I know. I just can’t imagine life without her.”

[Neil] “If she wants to have this baby, nothing’s going to stop her.”

[Mike] “That’s what scares me.”

Indeed.

Mike or the baby – it’d be the baby for Vicky, every time.

Elizabeth walks in on David
David sneaks in to see Freddie while Elizabeth is out, and has a grand time cheering him up by being so bad at playing a football computer game.

Elizabeth must have come home early, and it must have been a shock to see David there, but she didn’t throw him out. She insisted he stay.

Freddie squarely beats David at the computer game, to which Elizabeth remarks that David is a better loser these days. She remembers what he was like when the family played board games at Christmas.

[Elizabeth] “You’d get really annoyed if I beat you then.”

[David] “What? It was you! If you didn’t get Park lane or Mayfair, you’d tip the board over.”

[Freddie] “I just can’t believe how you managed without computer games”

As David gets to go, Elizabeth walks him out, and thanks him.

[Elizabeth] “Freddie seems so much brighter for seeing you.”

[David] “I can’t tell you what it’s meant to be here again Elizabeth. I’ve missed you.”

[Elizabeth] “Me too.”

Phew!

Thank goodness that’s over.

Now the Archer clan (Phil/Jill branch) can be a proper clan again.

Lucky thing that, what with Christmas approaching.

Ambridge got a Bronze

In Britain in Bloom. Which Lynda is delighted with, and sees as “credible”.

They even got a certificate!

[Lynda] “We thought it should take pride of place in the village hall so everyone could share in its glory.”

Quite right,

Well done Ambridge.

Squirrel!

(seriously, if you haven’t seen the film Up – please do so soon. Especially recommended for dog owners. And you’ll also understand why I get so excited when anyone mentions squirrel!)

Scruff runs of barking while Jim and Lynda are chatting. Which is what he did when they thought they’d spotted the Ambridge Beast.

They then hear and see bushes rustling. Which is what they saw and heard when they thought they’d spotted the Ambridge Beast.

[Lynda] “You don’t think … surely …”

[Jim] “I don’t know Lynda, but shall we keep it to ourselves this time … and whatever it was, I should say it was considerably larger than a squirrel, wouldn’t you?”

Oho! Eddie better get to making more of his statues.

Brenda’s excited about her brother or sister: Sun 09.09.12

The Archers Sunday 9th September 2012

Jill’s not action packed enough for Freddie
Freda’s on the sausage casserole duty
At least Brenda sees the positive side
What’s Jim doing in his shed?
Did anyone remember Elizabeth and David still aren’t talking?
It’s all ready meals, ready meals, ready meals …

Jill’s not action packed enough for Freddie

Jill’s tending to the rather broken Freddie.

He’s not very amused.

She’s brought him a book, but he doesn’t believe it is “action-packed” enough to keep away his utter boredom. Freddie’s the sort of chap who needs to be up an at ‘em, not stuck in bed with a book.

Freda’s on the sausage casserole duty

For Tom’s ready meals.

Bless her.

It’s not as if she’s generally found to be willing to try something new (which is a shame for The Bull regulars).

At least Brenda sees the positive side

To Vicky and Mike’s baby.

Thank goodness someone else does!

[Brenda] “I’ve seen a totally different side to Vicky … I’ve hardly been her biggest fan in the past … but now, whatever she’s feeling on the inside, she just seems so strong and uncomplaining .. .she so wants dad to be okay with it.”

[Roy] “Well he’s not … he’d just got his head around the idea of having a baby, then wham, this hits him … totally panicked.”

Roy can only see a “terrible future” for Vicky and Mike. At the very least, he can’t see how Mike will ever cope.

[Roy] “He was going round in circles. Just can’t seem to see a way out.”

Both Roy and Brenda are worried about Mike getting depressed again (as he did after Betty died).

[Brenda] “I do feel excited too though. About having a little brother or sister. It could be a real blessing for them in the end.”

[Roy] “I can’t see dad ever thinking it a blessing … all he feels is terror. How’s he going to get over that?”

I suspect that when Mike holds his child, he might forget his worries.

What’s Jim doing in his shed?

Seems he’s “banging and bumping”, according to Ruth.

Something to do with the Flower and Produce Show’s ‘men only’ bread making?

Wonder what on earth he could be doing …

Did anyone remember Elizabeth and David still aren’t talking?

I’d clean forgotten about it.

Until today.

Jill mentioned to Ruth that Elizabeth had apologised, and admitted fault, to Shula for Freddie’s accident.

Jill was shocked. Ruth was shocked.

And Ruth mentioned that she needs to find a way for Elizabeth and David.

Though if that involves Elizabeth apologising or admitting fault, I wish Ruth well, but don’t rate her chances.

It’s all ready meals, ready meals, ready meals …

Goodness me, I’d also forgotten how dull Tom can be.

Ready meals is all the chap can think about (though he does apologise to Brenda for going on about it, rather than asking her how her dad and Vicky are getting on. So there is still a glimmer of hope).

Very odd, but both Tom and Brenda were surprised when Fallon insisted they get their own chef, if they want to use The Bull’s kitchen.

Silly Tom and Brenda.

They’re lucky Fallon also doesn’t demand a percentage. Tom and Brenda would if the ample kitchen was in the other premises!

Mike’s depressed: Mon 03.09.12

The Archers Monday 3rd September 2012

[Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie”
It’s Grundy Turkey time!
The men get baking bread
Comedians aren’t what they used to be
Grundys don’t cry
Lily’s not amused with Freddie
Roy tries to get Mike to talk

[Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie”

Seems Clarrie feels she was out of her comfort zone making curries out of the wild boar meat. Joe reckons everyone who ate it was out of their comfort zone as well …

So the Grundys are still trying to eat their way through that boar. Seems it’s not going well.

[Joe] “Even Edward and Emma won’t touch no more. You’d think free food'd be a godsend on their money.”

Some sort of Christmas scam ahoy?

It’s Grundy Turkey time!

Must mean Christmas is on the way … *groan*.

Though Joe may make a few pennies from the turkeys, he doesn’t seem to respect their intellectual abilities.

[Joe] “Surprises me Turkey's ever found their way onto the ark.”

The men get baking bread

Seems Bert and Derek are going to have a go for the Flower and Produce Show, though everyone thinks Bert’s will be made by Freda.

That’s cheeky.

I’m sure Bert will play fair and square. As always .

Comedians aren’t what they used to be

Joe’s not impressed with Tug Fowler’s forthcoming appearance at The Bull.

[Joe] “He won’t be no good. Not like the comics we used to get in Borchester before telly spoiled everything.”

Blimey.

Joe’s a right barrel of laughs today.

Grundys don’t cry

So reckons Eddie.

He’s meant to be looking after George while he and Eddie have a natter.

George falls down. But gets up again.

[Eddie] “Not a whimper out of him. A proper little Grundy.”

Lily’s not amused with Freddie

Since Freddie broke his collar bone falling off of Topper, he’s been driving Lily to distraction.

[Lily] “Freddie thinks he’s a pharaoh giving everyone orders”

[Freddie] “I’d tell them to bury you alive.”

[Lily] “White and dark chocolate, just for a normal tea!”

In Lily’s humble opinion, Freddie’s only hurt because Freddie is an “idiot”.

[Lily] “ … he’ll come creeping to me to do his maths homework. And science … I’m just sick of everyone pretending he’s a hero. He nearly did something horrible to us … we’ve had too many accidents already. I can’t stand anymore … Freddie should grow up, he shouldn’t have been on Topper.”

Elizabeth tells Lily that it was her (Elizabeth’s) fault. Which is more than she said to Shula.

[Elizabeth] “That’s life. Sometimes accidents just happen.”

Really?

Not Freddie’s fault for riding Topper? Or, more importantly, Elizabeth’s for letting him?

Funny Elizabeth doesn’t seem to have heard anything Shula said to her.

Roy tries to get Mike to talk

Roy corners Mike in the dairy. He’s seen the signs before – Mike not talking to anyone, doing anything other than work. He thinks Mike is heading for another depression.

[Mike] “I am depressed. But it ain't the wheels coming off. I’ve got every reason.”

Mike tells Roy about his and Vicky’s baby being diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome.

[Mike] “They say it’s probably a woman’s age, but what if … what if it’s me Roy. I’m a good bit older … I’ve seen it in a herd. There’s a right time for it. Then it’s too late …”

Mike tells Roy he wants to talk to Vicky, but Vicky won’t be open to discussing anything other than them having them having the baby. Mike needs to talk through the options.

So – Mike needs to talk, Vicky needs to talk but neither of them can do so until the other accepts what the other needs.

tricky.

Mike also asks Roy to tell Brenda.

Here’s hoping the family can help bring Mike and Vicky back together.

Freddie breaks his collar bone: Sun 02.09.12

The Archers Sunday 2nd September 2012

When a ‘Dairy Magazine is just a Dairy Magazine
It WAS all Elizabeth’s fault
Abbie’s first day at school

When a ‘Dairy Magazine’ is just a Dairy Magazine

[Vicky] “First time I saw ‘Dairy Magazines’ felt tipped on the binders, I thought, aye aye, best steer clear of those! But they are just about cows.”

I’m not sure whether it’s endearing, or a bit worrying, that Vicky would think such a thing of Mike, then choose to ignore it …

Either which way, we all knew what would happen later on when Mike came across his beloved Dairy Magazines hidden away in the loft by Vicky and (an unwitting) Roy.

[Vicky] “As soon as I woke up this morning I know, today’s the day to start.”

When Mike gets home, he’s horrified. Seems he had a system for his Dairy magazines.

[Mike] “I don’t like being pushed into things … I come home, my stuff’s scattered all over … you shouldn’t have started. We haven’t worked out properly what we’re going to do with that room!”

But Vicky reckons she already knows what to do, so it shall be done. And though she’s prefer it if Mike was involved, she’ll do it by herself if need be.

Ouch.

Mike better get on side with Vicky. There’ll be no stopping her.

It WAS all Elizabeth’s fault

[Elizabeth] “Aunty didn’t ask you to fiddle with the stirrups!”

Indeed Shula didn’t. All she did was ask Freddie to get Topper ready for bed.

Freddie’s too small to handle Topper, but he begs Elizabeth to let him ride Topper once round the arena. She lets him.

No prizes for guessing what happened next …

Freddie starts jumping with Topper:

[Elizabeth] “You’re pushing your luck young man!”

But he continues.

As he goes for the final jump, he falls.

And it sounds like he’s hurt badly (or is at least is hurting badly).

Shula runs out. Straight to the horse.

[Shula] “All right Topper, calm down!”

[Elizabeth] “It’s not the horse that’s hurt!”

When they get Freddie to hospital, turns out his collar bone is broken, but it’s a clean break.

Phew!

But, Shula is most decidedly not amused.

[Shula] “I'm sorry. I won’t be fobbed off.”

[Elizabeth] “It’s been a difficult day for all of us.”

[Shula] “Because of you! What were you thinking!!!”

Elizabeth says she told Freddie not to ride Topper. Shula says she saw Elizabeth just standing there, watching him. Elizabeth says Nigel had said to Freddie that he could ride Topper one day (ah, that’s right. Blame the dead chap!):

[Elizabeth] “He just kept asking …”

[Shula] “That’s what children do. You should have said no!”

[Elizabeth] “It means so much to him Shula. It’s his father’s horse.”

[Shula] “Oh stop making excuses, he could have been killed!”

[Elizabeth] “Have you any idea how awful it was for me watching … you’ve no right to criticise me!”

[Shula] “I’ve every right. Tipper could have been hurt, never mind what it would do to the stables, and above everything else, Freddie is upstairs now in a great deal of pain, because you didn’t have the common sense or guts to say no to your son. How on earth could you have been so stupid, Elizabeth!”

And there we have it.

Elizabeth is officially no longer allowed to be the heartbroken widow, blaming all and every in Nigel’s’ death.

Well said Shula!

Abbie’s first day at school

Ah, they grow up so quickly.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Shula has a Funday … the Tuckers not so: Sun 26.08.12

The Archers Sunday 26th August 2012

The lady ain’t for gardening
Shula’s Funday
Still laughing at the Grundys
Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines
Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

The lady ain’t for gardening
Mike’s been flicking through the Flower & Produce Show schedule. He wondered aloud to Vicky about whether she’s going to enter anything, considering she enjoyed it so much last year.

(*sigh* Mike seems to have lost all his tact)

[Vicky] “It hasn’t even crossed my mind, and I certainly amn’t going to be doing any gardening.”

Shula’s Funday

Was, obviously, horse related.

Elizabeth and the Twins certainly had a grand time.

They both took part in the racing games.

[Freddie] “I like the way the fences go higher every round.”

Abbie and Phoebe were also there, though Roy is cautious about Abbie seeming to get more and more Roy into horses. That would be too expensive a hobby.

Still laughing at the Grundys

[Roy] “And I can assure you it is pork, not wild boar … I hear the Grundy’s are overdosing on it a bit, eating it every meal.”

[Mike] “Oh yeah, you don’t want to get Joe Grundy on the results, I can tell you that.”

Ew!

Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines

During Sunday lunch, Roy and Hayley are caught between Mike and Vicky

Vicky wants to start buying more baby stuff.

[Mike] “Oh Vicky, surely not yet!”

Mike claims he just meant that they have months and months to go, but what he really meant was they don’t know the results of the tests yet … so they don’t know what their decision would be ‘if’ … and that means there’s no point having baby clothes. Yet.

Vicky then starts talking about clearing out their spare room (which is would seem Mike sees as his study, where he goes to stew). She seems to suggest Mike’s diary magazines are just rubbish …

[Mike] “Why do you have to go at it like a bull at a gate?”

[Hayley, sounding very uncomfortable] “It’s the nesting instinct …Forces of nature, they can be difficult to deal with.”

After Vicky and Mike leave (obviously to continue their argument, finally in private)

[Hayley] “Wasn’t exactly a perfect Sunday dinner, was it?”

[Roy] “It was a bit …”

[Hayley] “Awkward.”

[Roy] “A baby, it’s a huge think to come to terms with, especially at their age of life, especially dad …”

Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
Sounded like it.

Almost as if Elizabeth also thinks Lilly is better …

At Sheila’s Funday:

[Lilly] “Freddie’s a natural.”

[Elizabeth] “Very generous of you to say so.”

Eh?

What an odd way to talk to a child.

But then again, it is Elizabeth.

I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

Shula still has to go over to Reg and Bunty’s house every week. Bunty is better, but they still need help.

[Shula] “And I can’t ask Alistair to do anything, my first husband’s parents.”

Well, I don’t see why not.

It’s not as if Mark is around to be an alternative to Alistair for Shula.

Alistair seems to cope with Mark and Shula’s son in his life quite nicely.

Anyhoo – Shula wants Reg and Bunty to move into somewhere more “appropriate”.

[Shula] “They get so defensive. It’s like I’m farming them out to a home.”

[Elizabeth] “It makes me realise how lucky we were with Julia.”

Which, Elizabeth says herself, is something she never thought she’d say outloud!

As much work as Julia was, at least she was independent and healthy. Until she died.

Reg and Bunty, on the other hand, can only get worse until a solution is found.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Brian realises he’s really upset Adam 15.02.12

The Archers Wednesday 15th February 2012

Fearless Freddie
Adam isn’t happy to see Brian
Shula ignores Alistair
Adam also ignores Alistair

Fearless Freddie

I learnt what a hack is today.

It’s when one takes one horse out for a bit of light exercise.

Which is what Daniel was about to do with Freddie.

Daniel reckons Freddie has no fear when it comes to riding.

[Shula] “He gets that from your Uncle Nigel”

Seems Freddie’s Casper took fright when he saw a Chinese Lantern in a hedge (one presumes it had been floated and crashed down. They do seem to make a regular appearance in Ambridge as a menace), but Freddie handled it well. He even walked Casper back and forth in front of it a few times to show him that there was nothing to be scared of.

Adam isn’t happy to see Brian

Infact, he groans.

Brian started wittering about something to do with “spraying off the stubble”

[Adam] “For heaven’s sake!”

Adam was furious!

He ranted about how it’s only the 15th, so he couldn’t have started before (why? Honestly, I’d like to know), that it was forecast to rain, so there shouldn’t be a hurry, and that the ground isn’t warm enough to start drilling peas anyhoo.

They then get into Brian having his meeting with the Parish Council. Adam jibes Brian that he needs to get all of his ammunition ready.

[Adam] “I expect all interested parties will want to be there”

Later on, Adam doesn’t sound enthused by Jennifer’s offer of Sunday lunch fir himself, Ian, Alice, Chris and a few other.

[Adam] “I don’t think so mum. Thanks for the thought”

And he scuttles out of Jennifer’s kitchen when Brian arrives.

[Brian] “How much longer is this going to last … a cold shoulder every time I walk into the room, he barely looks me in the eye. The only time he’ll speak to me about the day to day farm business, and those conversations become almost monosyllabic, unless he’s snapping my head off”

Brian on their slight row over the stubble spraying.

[Brian] “It was just a simple question, to try a bit of rapprochement really, but he took it the long way”

(oh hark at him! Rapprochement, indeed)

While Brian thinks he and Annabelle have managed to make it through the planning department just fine, he’s not so sure about the Environment Agency. They seemingly are a lot harder to please.

While Brian decides whether he wants a mug or a cup of coffee (seriously?), he also begins worrying about what Adam said on “interested parties” attending the Parish Council.

He’s wondering if Adam means he’ll be showing up himself …

Shula ignores Alistair

The chap who owns Topper was meeting another chap who hunts in Gloucestershire today to possibly sell him Topper. But the chap from Gloucestershire didn’t buy Topper. Shula put it off.

[Shula] “In a manner of speaking. I did … once the chap had left, I made Danny a better offer”

Alistair is a bit perturbed, and sends Daniel off to wash up before lunch. He then tells Shula that she ignored his thoughts about Topper.

[Shula] “I didn’t ignore it. I thought about it”

Alistair reckons Topper is too big a horse for Shula to use with her learners. Shula reckons Daniel enjoys riding Topper, as does Shula herself.

[Alistair] “Of course I understand why you don’t want to see Topper go. He was Nigel's horse … But we can’t afford to buy and keep Topper ourselves”

Shula does not concur.

[Shula] “It’s not we, Alistair, it’s me. The Stables is my business … I don’t tell you how to run your practice”

[Alistair] “Yes you do!”

But Shula is not interested in discussing it further. Topper is staying, and she has spaghetti to get in with.

Adam also ignores Alistair

Poor Alistair. He’s having a really rubbish day.

Shula asked him to drop by Home Farm to take back a recipe book she’d borrowed from Jennifer.

He does so on his way back from Penny Hassett (after seeing a horse with a nasty, caused by barbed wire, rather than Clive Horrobin …).

Alistair bumps into Adam, who’s trying to have a proper look at a lamb with a dodgy foot. Alistair helps him catch the lamb, not that he got any thanks for a very grumpy Adam.

He then enquires about how Adam and Ian’s Valentine’s Night was. Adam can barely be bothered to answer. Seems Ian was working.

But unflappable (sometimes) Alistair took Adam’s mood on the chin, and simply told Shula later on that he reckoned Adam was “totally fed up”.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

The Bull is neutral 07.02.12

The Archers Tuesday 7th February 2012

Ambridge’s Jubilee Royal Oak
Harry’s irritating Jazzer even when he’s not around
Lent ahoy …
Trouble for Topper
Say no to the Ambridge Mega Dairy
Jazzer comes before the cows
Battling BL Propaganda

Ambridge’s Jubilee Royal Oak

Has been planted by Alan and the kids.

[Jill] “It came in a beautiful hessian bag with red white and blue tissue”

Though they don’t know exactly what Royal estate the acorn originally came from.

Jill shocks Shula by saying that she’ll not be around to see the tree go – though she may see it if she gets to her hundreds:

[Jill] “and get my own royal seal of approval”

Harry’s irritating Jazzer even when he’s not around

Poor Jazzer.

We still haven’t heard Harry utter a sound in an age – but he’s still managing to annoy Jazzer.
Jazzer’s in The Bull for a few pints, and was asking Fallon how many women are bidding for Harry in the Promise Auction.

Quite a few, it would seem.

Not that Jazzer is jealous …

[Jazzer] “Just interested to hear how many deluded women there are in the world”

Though he does seem a tad ‘disappointed’ that Fallon is also bidding. As is more or less every women in the village.

[Fallon] “Reckon I’m going to have a fight on my hand”

[Jazzer] “I just don’t want ye to make fools of yourselves … You’ve gone wet in the heid!”

[Fallon] “Or weak in the knees”

Jazzer’s disgust is palpable. Fallon suggests if he cares so much, may he should offer his services for the promise Auction as well.

[Jazzer] “Joking ain’t ye? I’m no a piece of meat, you know!”

Ruth comes into The Bull, so Fallon asks her if she’s going to bid for Harry.

[Fallon] “Fancy letting him dig over your flower beds?”

[Ruth] “Well I wouldn’t say no!”

[Jazzer] “In the name of the wee man, are you all on heat or something?!?”

Poor Jazzer. In Harry’s shadow when he’s not even around to cast it.

Lent ahoy …

[Jill] “Not bread and cheese again I hope. I missed my Sunday roasts”

[Alan] “I thought with so much austerity about, rather than asking people to give something up I’d suggest that they do something instead… so that it’s not quite so negative”

Thank goodness for that.

I don’t think I could have coped with another Eddie and Joe Grundy scam/farce …

But the twist is that Alan’s not saying (yet) what the “something” he wants folks to so will be.

Trouble for Topper

(Nigel’s horse, which they’d sold (much to Freddie’s pain), though was at least stabled at Shula’s)

Shula gat a call from the chap who’d bought Topper (sounded like a Mr Stevis). He says his wife is ill, and he can no longer afford the livery.

Shula is very upset about it. It’ll mean they’ll have to find someone else to buy Topper, which will likely mean he’ll not longer be stabled with her. And she sees Topper as being part of the family.

She also knows Freddie will be devastated. Even though he has his own pony, he still spends time with Topper when he’s at the stables.

[Shula] “Topper’s still Nigel’s’ horse, mum. Freddie hasn’t just forgotten about him … he likes knowing he’s there. This will just break his heart all over again”

Ach come on – Elizabeth’s loaded! Just buy Topper back, and all will be well.

Say no to the Ambridge Mega Dairy

Is what Ruth (and Pat’s) posters say – encouraging folks to sign their online petition.

Fallon had said yes to Ruth putting the posters up in The Bull, but Jolene asks Ruth to take them back down.

[Jolene] “No offense Ruth, but I don’t want to annoy anyone”

Ruth’s fine about it, though Fallon reckons it’s a shame. She thinks The Bull is the ideal place – as it’s where folks “talk about everything anyway”.

But, Jolene already has rules about what can and can’t go up in The Bull.

[Jolene] “I just don’t want the pub getting involved”

Jazzer comes before the cows

Jazzer isn’t really for or against the Super Dairy.

[Jazzer] “Fuss ower nothing if you ask me. If it’s a choice between trudging roon in the mud and rain like I have to, or working in a nice warm shed … Everyone’s so concerned about the poor cows. What about us ordinary folks?”

He also reckons he couldn’t afford milk if he didn’t get it for nothing at work.

(eh? But he can afford pints of beer!)

Ruth’s shocked. He works at Grange Farm, which has an ethos completely opposite to the Super Dairy. But Jazzer agrees with Mike that the Super Dairy will be going after a different market, so his job should be safe enough.

Typical Jazzer indeed. As long as he’s fine, nothing else really scrapes a mention.

Battling BL Propaganda

Jolene tells Ruth that while she can’t put the ‘No’ Super Dairy posters up, Ruth could obviously try the old phone box and also the village website … though Ruth hadn’t been aware that there was already a Super Dairy article up on it.

When Ruth sees the article, she’s furious. It’s hardly a balanced article (making much of the onsite vets, but makes no mention that higher numbers of cows go lame and get mastitis). Ruth reckons the website article is just like the BL leaflets and “flashy” website.

[Ruth] “They’ve got so many resources. Are you sure I can’t just put up a poster? Otherwise we’ll get drowned by BL propaganda”

[Jolene, still saying no the posters, but …] “Seems to me the village website should be a bit like the pub. It’s biased, isn’t it? It should at least show your side of the argument too”

Quite right Jolene.

Jennifer should have known better.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

A year on since Nigel 02/01/12

The Archers Monday 2nd January 2012

Helen can spell but might run out of cake
Helen is “tired” again
To the Panto
Memories of Nigel
Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues
Good lord … Tom to procreate?
Tom doesn’t rate Emma
Henry walks!

Helen can spell but might run out of cake

It’s Henry’s first birthday, and his ever delighted mum has made him a cake. It doesn’t sound perfect, but Helen’s not bothered.

[Helen] “This one maybe a bit cockeyed, but by the time he’s about 15 I’ll have got the hang of it”

She certainly wouldn’t have had anything but perfection before this time last year …

When they later come to blowing out the candles, Tom helps Henry do it. Seems he’s already taught Henry how to blow raspberries, so they use that technique on the candles.

Tom and Henry’s spit on the birthday cake.

Nice.

Helen is “tired” again

After Nic and Will’s wedding.

To the Panto

Jill and Elizabeth are at the Panto with Freddie and Lily.

I thought it was odd that Elizabeth was so keen on taking the twins to the panto, but she explains that it was a way of getting them out of the house and to something completely different.

Lily is remembering that Nigel once played a dame. He was Nigella to Nelson Gabriel’s Gabrielle.

When Debbie arrives with Ruairi, she remembers playing Robin Hood in a village panto, with her (now ex) husband playing the Sheriff of Nottingham. She thought that was very apt for Simon Gerrard, in hindsight …

[Debbie] “I always got cast as the man in the village panto”

Which Jill reckons was a result of Debbie being tall.

Anyhoo, seems the kids enjoyed the panto, though:

[Lily] “I thought Prince Charming was a bit soppy”

Memories of Nigel

The Pargetters seem to be coping quite well on the anniversary of Nigel’s death.

Elizabeth tells Jill that the Twins were a bit tearful this morning, especially Freddie. She seems to be a bit tearful herself:

[Elizabeth] “Just sometimes .. I get ambushed by memories … The harder you try not to think about something …”

But she does seem very calm, considering. Her kids are making sure that she keeps on an even keel.

[Jill] “She always seems to know when her mum needs looking after …It might be better if she gave into her feelings a bit more”

Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues

Elizabeth was not at all pleased when Debbie come to the panto with Ruairi.

When Elizabeth later blurts out that she thinks Ruairi looks so like his mother …

[Debbie] “When you said his mother, I though you meant my mother. She’s the one he calls mum. She’s the one he turns to when he’s sad or hurt. I don’t suppose he even remembers … her …”

Debbie spat out that “her”.

If we recall back, Elizabeth was Siobhan’s friend. Looks like Debbie still hasn’t forgiven her for that.

Good lord … Tom to procreate?

Henry’s opening his presents.

[Helen] “You don’t care, do you? You just like playing with the pretty shiny paper”

Henry doesn’t even shown an interest in a wooden truck with red wheels, full of coloured bricks. So Tom starts playing with it to show Henry how marvellous it is.

[Tom] “Being an uncle’s the best fun in the world, you can stop pretending to be a grown up all the time!”

[Helen] “What about being a dad … have you and Brenda thought about having one of your own?”

Tom says he has been thinking about it.

Oh the horror!

Tom doesn’t rate Emma

Helen was talking about herself and Emma going back to work tomorrow.

[Tom] “Work? What work?”

Seems Tom doesn’t think cleaning at Brookfield is proper work.

[Tom] “Not quite as challenging as a full day in Ambridge Organics!”

Henry walks!

And on his first birthday.

Perfectly timed. That boy will go far (especially now he’s mobile!)

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Boxing Day Meet & continued Implosion at Bridge Farm 26/12/11

The Archers Monday 26th December 2011

Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet
A “Sassenach feast”
The Bridge Farm bust up
Elizabeth and David were in the same room
Alistair got tickets to the Olympics
Bridge Farm bust up round 2
Helen’s for turning

Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet

Shula’s taking Freddie to the meet, though his thoughts obviously keep drifting onto his dad:

[Freddie] “We had a really good Christmas last year … I wish we could be riding together today”

Freddie said it in quite a happy (ish), fond way. Shula said it was good to have good memories.

Elizabeth and Lily are watching the start of the meet. Elizabeth again can’t believe how much Freddie looks like Nigel when he’s kitted out in his riding gear. Lily is slightly concerned that Freddie will get hurt.

[Elizabeth] “You don’t have to worry. Freddie’s a very good rider”

[Lily] “But he’s such an idiot!”

I learned today that one should call the riders’ coats pink, not red (!). Lily thinks they all look very smart, and that the hounds are “cut”.

[Lily] “I still don’t like the idea of them killing the fox, though”

[Elizabeth] “They’re not allowed to anymore, that’s what he was explaining, they’re just following a scent … you take after grandma, she’s never approved of hunting either”

[Lily] “I don’t understand why daddy did, he loved animals”

[Elizabeth] “It was the riding he liked really, between you and me, he used to be quite glad when the fox got away, but don’t tell Oliver”

A “Sassenach feast”

Pardon me? What is Helen on about?

[Helen to Tom] “I thought Jazzer didn’t mind doing the Christmas shift since he considers it such a Sassenach feast”

[Tom] “Well, that’s what he says but it never seems to stop him celebrating it”

Pardon moi? Since when did any Scot consider Christmas an English thing? I think you’ll find that Christianity first came to the Isles at Whithorn in Dumfries and Galloway, and Iona.

That aside, Jazzer is also dodging feeding Tom’s pigs as he reckons he has to put the finishing touches to his Christmas around the World song. We still don’t know what it is …

The Bridge Farm bust up

Seems there was a huge row at Bridge Farm after they turned off the secret microphones. The kids aren’t speaking to the parents. Seems Helen left Bridge Farm with Tom and Brenda yesterday.

[Helen] “I can’t trust myself around mum and dad at the moment”

[Tom] “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust them again … I don’t know how they have the nerve to even mention that Rich in the same breath as our Henry”

Helen and Tom feel betrayed. That Pat and Tony went behind their backs by contacting Sharon, and also meeting Rich. That they don’t care and they certainly don’t “get it”.

[Helen] “They seemed surprised we were upset”

[Tom] “Unbelievable … what they did, what they’re doing, it has so many implications for you and me and Henry … yet they’re acting as though this is a private matter between them and this Rich … don’t we count anymore? Are we suddenly outside our own family?”

[Helen] “It was awful yesterday, us shouting to mum and dad though a soundproof window and they couldn’t hear me”

[Tom] “They’ve temporarily gone mad. We’ve got to make them see sense, Helen”

The added worry is that Pat and Tony will now do something even crazier … though what, they didn’t say.

Kidnap Rich?

Elizabeth and David were in the same room

Elizabeth and the twins “didn’t have a too bad” Christmas day. They were with Shula, Alistair and Daniel at the Stables during the day, and did go to Kenton’s party at The Bull during the evening.

[Elizabeth] “They made it easy for us. David and I were able to steer clear of each other without spoiling anything”

That’s progress, I reckon.

Alistair got tickets to the Olympics

For Shula and Daniel and himself.

They didn’t say what event they’re going to see, but Elizabeth was amazed that he got something in the rather high pressured lottery, and that Alistair didn’t tell them he was successful.

[Elizabeth] “He must be good at keeping secrets”

Hmmm.

Bridge Farm bust up round 2

Tom and Helen Vs. Tony.

[Tony] “Your feelings? I don’t know how you can be so selfish … and what about your mother, have you stopped for one moment to consider what all of this is doing to her?”

[Helen] “Of course we’re thinking about mum”

[Tom] “She doesn’t seem to be thinking much about us …”

[Tony] “Oh grow up Tom! The world doesn’t revolve around you … neither of you have made the slightest effort to see things from her point of view”

Seems Pat is still in her room, sobbing.

[Tom] “For Rich. For this previous grandson that she’s only seen for 10 while minutes”

[Tony] “No … for John … he left something behind, when we thought we’d lost everything about him forever … but you’re here, both of you here, Henry here, and John never will be”

And now Rich has also gone from their lives.

Helen’s for turning

As Tom and Helen talk things through:

[Tom] “It was always going to end in tears”

[Helen] “Once they realised John had a son, they were bound to want to find out more”

[Tom] “Technically, maybe it’s true. But it doesn’t mean anything”

[Helen] “Well, that’s a bit hard”

[Tom] “I’m being realistic Helen, you of all people should understand that … let me ask you a question, do you ever think about Henry’s father?”

[Helen] “No. No I don’t. I’ve kind of forgotten he had one”

[Tom] “We all have. He’s ours now, the next Archer”

[Helen] “I see what you mean. You think that’s how Sharon and her husband feel about Rich?”

[Tom] “Of course they do, he belongs to them like Henry belongs to us”

Tom thinks Pat is deluding herself.

[Tom] “Rich existing isn’t going to bring John back”

[Helen on Tony] “What he said shocked me”

[Tom] “Emotional blackmail, more like”

[Helen] “No. It’s more complicated than that. I need to think this through”

Ah – Helen looks to be switching sides …