Pondering The Archers: adam macy

What’s cheaper: village shop or supermarket?

One could be forgiven for thinking supermarkets are always cheaper, but there’s the petrol to consider.

It’s a conundrum Emma has to ponder.

As she does, while buying nappies, Neil comes in to pay her way.

Which she didn’t ask for, didn’t immediately accept and was grateful for.

Later on, while at Neil and Susan’s, Emma asks if she can take a slice of pie back for Ed (poor chap always loses out to the kids), and Neil gives her some sausages. Sausages are, after all, aplenty at Neil and Susan’s.

Again, Emma was very grateful.

Will this humbling experience actually make Emma a better person?

Joe’s second best teeth

After losing his best pair in the apple scratter, Joe has to resort to his second best pair.

[Joe] “Not very comfy, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

Trouble is, Joe’s second best pair shock (yes, shock!) people.

Seems they’re very white indeed. To the extent that Ruth even calls them American.

[David] “When he grinned at me, I didn’t know whether to smile back or run for the hills … talk about the big bad wolf … and the colour, good grief!”

[Neil] “They’re florescent.”

As you may remember from Apple Day, neither Joe nor Eddie told anyone that Joe’s other pair of teeth was smashed into the cider.

Though Joe’s not very good at keeping secrets:

[Joe] “You might say it was the apples getting their own back.”

Joe does realise he’s saying too much, so slopes off before everyone twigs. Which, of course, they have:

[David] “Ah, probably best not to think about it.”

Freddie’s getting a maths tutor

Poor Freddie.

But it’ll be Ifty.

That’ll soften the blow, surely?

A nice chap who likes cricket. What more could Freddie want?

Not having to do extra maths, maybe … ?

Adam’s enthusiastic

Which David’s glad to see, even though he thinks it’s because Adam is getting excited about the Super Dairy.

I suspect it might have more to do with Adam realising he’s never had it so good with Ian … post Pavel.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Jim can’t get peace in his shed: Wed 12.09.12

The Archers Wednesday 12th September 2012

Pavel wants to say goodbye
Darrell takes up the floorboards
Is that Paul as in THE Paul?
What’s going on in Jim’s shed?
Jim appreciates Fallon’s talents
Darrell has to buy a washing machine

Pavel wants to say goodbye

He asks Adam to his caravan. He’s about to leave to go back home.

(and makes tea, which he reckons he’s now got the hand of. He reckons he was using too many bags at first)

Pavel reckons he wants to say goodbye properly to Adam. Adam wants to walk away and forget him and what happened.

[Pavel] “Why feel so guilty, why not see it for what it is?”

Adam reckons he might have been a bit more relaxed about it when he was younger, but not now. Not married to Ian.

Pavel tries to wind Adam up again by suggesting Ian was up for it when he came onto him, but Adam doesn’t believe him.

[Pavel] “Though he was tempted anyway. What’s so wrong with being tempted, if it doesn’t hurt anyone?”

[Adam] “Well it does.”

[Pavel] “I just want to say goodbye properly, that’s all.”

[Adam] “I can’t take the risk.”

Pavel resorts to begging.

But to no avail.

Adam stand him up.

[Pavel] “Just a bit disappointed. I was hoping to have a date with someone before I go, but it’s not happening.”

I can’t quite make up my mind whether Pavel is incredibly naive, purely driven by his groin or if Adam has been whispering sweet nothings off microphone.

Either which way, you’d have thought he’d got the message well before now.

Darrell takes up the floorboards

At Joyce and Arthurs.

After all the fuss about Matt forcing him to do it, it seemed to take him half a day.

What was all the fuss about?

Anyhoo, as Darrell gets an electric shock from Arthur’s drill (he won’t get his insurance to cover him for using a client’s equipment, you know …), Matt turns up.

Is that Paul as in THE Paul?

Darrell tells Matt that he has other work coming up. He’s off to work with a chap called Paul Morgan, who says that he also knows Matt.

Is that THE Paul? As in Matt’s half-brother Paul? Didn’t he have something to do with building?

Perfect timing if he wants to take things further with Lilian (than he did last time). She’s ever so angry with Matt at the moment.

This could be very interesting indeed.

What’s going on in Jim’s shed?

Jazzer is even wondering.

[Jazzer] “The whole shed was shaking, I thought there was a fight going on!”

[Jim] “Just had a little local difficulty.”

[Jazzer] “Sweating like a pig, whatever it is.”

[Jim] “Can’t a man occupy himself in his shed without attracting the interests of the whole village?”

Jazzer’s so intrigued that he even buys Jim half a pint later on.

But Jim’s not for telling.

He asks Pavel is he concurs that they have all “exhausted” the topic.

[Pavel, not a clue what they’re on about] “Erm, I think so?”

Jim appreciates Fallon’s talents

He’s very appreciative of Fallon’s efforts to get folks into The Bull.

Especially the forthcoming comedy night.

Nothing else attracting you, Jim???

Darrell has to buy a washing machine

On credit.

He and Elona’s has died, beyond repair.

Poor Darrell.

Hope that new job does work out and he doesn’t have to go back to Matt.

Matt can be ever so nasty when someone has to beg to him.

A specialist job for a specialist carpenter: Mon 10.09.12

The Archers Monday 10th September 2012

Darrell’s got a new job, but …
When collusion isn’t collusion?
Vicky’s baby will be beautiful
Lilian really hates Matt right now …
Everyone wants Ian!
Jaxx can do blast freezing

Darrell’s got a new job, but …

Darrell’s (nearly, possibly) got a new job, at a Church. It’ll use his specialist carpentry skills (and also obviously get him away from Matt!).

Darrell’s already celebrating with cans of lager. Even before he’s been told he definitely has it.

Later on, he’s told he has got it.

Darrell is over the moon. Though it doesn’t last long.

While Darrell wants to quit Amside now:

[Darrell] “I thought it might be sensible to diversify.”

Elona’s worried about the bills.

[Elona] “And there is Rosa’s scooter as well.”

That bloomin’ scooter!

If Darrell can stand up to Matt, why can’t he stand up to his own family?

When collusion isn’t collusion?

When Lilian is only lending a hand …

She’s off to help Peggy with her Flower and Produce Show craft entry. Matt claims they’re cheating.

[Lilian, snapping his head off … metaphorically. Obviously] “It’s not collusion Matt, mum just asked me to pick up some materials she needed!”

Oh dear.

Lilian really (really) isn’t happy with Matt at the moment.

Just imagine how delighted when she hears that Darrell is leaving … and why!

Vicky’s baby will be beautiful

Vicky has been finding solace online. She’s found a lot of other people who are going through, and have been through, everything she (and Mike) are experiencing. She’s wondering how on earth anyone coped before the internet:

[Brenda] “I guess they just had to write letters and telephone people.”

[Vicky] “Now you feel like you’re plugged in right away”

Vicky tells Brenda about a post another mum had written about how there was lots of information for a couple having a Down’s Syndrome baby, no one told them how beautiful their baby was going to be …

[Vicky] “You stop thinking so much of what’s wrong, and you start getting excited again.”

She and Brenda coo over photos online of children with Down’s Syndrome.

Which was delightful to hear.

Thank goodness for Brenda!

Lilian really hates Matt right now …

Adam stumbles across Lilian, who is trying to look incredibly busy in a café.

[Adam] “Been doing your Greta Garbo act were you?”

Lilian just wasn’t in the mood to make an effort for anyone else.

But Aunty Lil doesn’t need to make an effort when it comes to her beloved nephew Adam.

Shame can be said for her (allegedly) beloved Matt.

She really does have a downer on him at the moment. Odd, when there’s be so many better times (when he’s behaved even worse) to turn the cold shoulder.

Everyone wants Ian!

Not just Pavel, it would seem.

The rest of the men in and near Ambridge also want Ian for his taste in bread.

(only in Ambridge!)

Jaxx can do blast freezing

Tom has managed to persuade Kirsty and Frank (Jaxx’s chef, one assumes) to do their ready meals for a “bit extra” money.

Tom’s also well chuffed that they can cook it, then blast freeze it as well.

[Tom, pulling himself up without prompting for once] “Sorry Bren. I’m rattling on again.”

(I wonder … is Brenda excited about the baby because it’s a baby, and her new sister or brother. Or, is she ready for one of her own …)

Mike talks to Neil: Fri 07.09.12

The Archers Friday 7th September 2012

Matt gets cheeky
Who does Adam think he is?
Neil likes rubbing pigs’ ears
Susan’s desire to eat pig feed
“Until she found out she were one number short”
Tom hasn’t got a kitchen

Matt gets cheeky

[Matt] “I nearly sent a carrier pigeon but I was afraid you’d gone feral and might eat it!”

Poor Darrell. He can’t avoid Matt forever, so goes into the office to see him. Matt keeps him waiting. Not a great start …

[Darrell] “Matt, Danny’s waiting in the van!”

[Matt] “Well I hope you left a window open and a bowl of water … he’ll cope, he’s good at sitting on his backside doing nothing.”

Matt wants to know what Darrell’s been up to at Arthur and Joyce’s. He’s none too happy that Darrell hasn’t ripped up all of the floorboards yet. Darrell almost (almost) says an outright ‘no’ to Matt.

[Darrell] “You’re not that kind of landlord are you matt. You wouldn’t want to hurt them, would you?”

Aha!

Good on you Darrell, turning Matt’s claims to Lilian round on him.

Who does Adam think he is?

Adam demands Pavel into the office.

He sounded like Lord of the Manor.

A Lord that’s been caught with the footman …

… or actually, the Lord who has to deal with a footman who he’s been dallying with, and who has now tried to dally with his … erm … wedded Lord. (well, Ian ain't no lady!)

[Adam] “You tried to get off with him!”

[Pavel] “You need to do what little Ruairi says. Chill.”

Pavel is entirely unrepentant at coming on to Ian. He reckons they have chemistry, so why not.

[Pavel] “Well, now you don’t like me, maybe he wants to make a mistake too …”

Pavel tells Adam that Ian was actually interested in him. That he enjoyed their kiss. That Ian has said it was “nice”.

What a liar! He didn’t even manage to engage with Ian lips, let alone have Ian tell him anything other than ‘get out’!

[Pavel] “You don’t like me anymore. Why mustn’t I try elsewhere?”

Neil likes rubbing pigs’ ears

And I’m sure the pigs like it too.

Susan’s desire to eat pig feed

[Neil] “You know what I was just thinking?”

[Mike] “Pigs are awkward animals?”

[Neil] “The way she was hovering up the feed …”

Neil’s remembering a time when Susan was pregnant, and she was helping to feed the pigs.

[Neil] “I caught her staring at the pig nuts like she wanted to eat one.”

Seems it was Susan’s cravings time. Which sets Neil wondering about Vicky:

[Neil] “No funny little cravings?”

[Mike] “No, we ain’t been laughing that much actually.”

And at last, Mike talks about how he feels …

“Until she found out she were one number short”

(Mike’s blunt way of outing it, but I suppose he’s got every right)

[Mike] “everything’s got worse, like a big black cloud has come down on us, and I can’t see a way through … she thought she’d never have the chance to be a mother, this was like winning the lottery. Until we found she were one number short.”

Mike wonders aloud to Neil if it’d be better than they didn’t have the baby.

[Neil] “Is that what you want?”

[Mike] “I don’t know. But I feel so bad about it.”

[Neil] “If you feel so bad about it, maybe it’s not the right thing to do.”

Fair point Neil. But with Vicky determined to not consider any option other than having their baby, what choice does that leave Mike?

Well, none. None at all. Apart from leaving Vicky …

[Mike] “What’s worse Neil. Hoping through all that pain now, or saving it up, maybe a lost worse, for the future?”

Neil reckons no-one else than Mike and Vicky can decide on that.

But they need to know:

[Neil] “You’ve got your children. All of your friends. You do know you’re not facing this alone, don’t you?”

Mike gave big sigh.

He did know that, but so desperately needed to hear it.

Thank goodness he’s finally talked to someone out of the family, who can look it at it from his point of view.

What he’ll do next, only Mike knows.

Tom hasn’t got a kitchen

Tom’s back on about his ready meals.

He reckons he needs 80 to 100 meals for a sampling, but he hasn’t got a kitchen large enough to cook them.

[Tom] “Yet another disadvantage of renting.”

Seems he and Brenda’s plan has always been to build their own house. In which, Tom plans to have a huge kitchen.

Actually, Brenda didn’t sound so keen …

… that’s another clue, I reckon.

What is going to happen about Tom and Brenda?

Their engagement is never to be?

Pavel tries it on with Ian: Thurs 06.09.12

The Archers Thursday 6th September 2012

You can lead a cow to milk …
With age comes a better attitude to livestock
Lynda’s on about TPOs
Lynda puts her mouth in it
Pavel tries to seduce Ian
Adam’s found to something to like about the Super Dairy

You can lead a cow to milk …

… but it takes two farmers to make it drink.

David’s got a new cow, only born two days ago, who isn’t able to help itself to the milk bar. She doesn’t seem to understand what to do, and the other cows keep barging her out of the way.

[Adam] “She doesn’t look very assertive … do you want me to act as bouncer? … You may need to draw a diagram.”

But all’s well.

She takes to it fine in the end.

With age comes a better attitude to livestock

So reckons Lynda.

(she’s talking about Scruff)

Lynda’s on about TPOs

She’s worried about an Oak at end of Manorfield Close. Something about it being crowned and whether it has a Tree Preservation Order.

So, she goes to ask Mike.

He’s the Tree Warden.

He tells her that’s all’s well, as that tree doesn’t have a TPO.

Then Lynda puts her mouth in it …

Lynda puts her mouth in it

[Lynda] “I know the pair of you are facing some extra challenges now, but together, you and Vicky will be more than a match for them.”

Oops.

Lynda isn’t supposed to know. Vicky isn’t supposed to have told anyone out of the family.

Mike holds his tongue with Lynda, but gives Vicky both barrels later on.

[Mike] “A juicy piece of gossip like that. She’ll love spreading it round!”

Vicky reckons Lynda is a true friend, so wouldn’t dare gossip.

I concur with Vicky. Lynda may have her faults, but a lack of loyalty isn’t one of them.

But, of course, it isn’t really Lynda that Mike is furious about. It’s the whole situation they (and their baby) find themselves in.

[Vicky] “I don’t know what you’re saying Mike because you’re not talking.”

[Mike] “I’m not talking because you're not listening. You won’t listen to me. You’ve already made your mind up.”

[Vicky] “I have no choice.”

Mike storms off …

Tricky.

Mike’s right that he really doesn’t have a say. Vicky’s the only one who can make their mind up.

But how is Vicky supposed to cope, let alone explain her feelings, when Mike just shouts and leaves?

Pavel tries to seduce Ian

Pavel calls round at Ian and Adam’s. He wants to see Adam, but he’s out. He tells Ian that he’s bored, bored, bored.

[Pavel] “I’m going out of my mind, with boredom, there’s nothing to do. I need to get away from the caravans.”

So Ian invites him in for dinner and wine while they wait for Adam to get back from work.

Ian’s also rudely interrupted by phone calls from Neville Booth, Oliver Sterling (and the like) wanting to know more about hot to make the perfect bread (for the Flower and Produce Show).

Pavel asks Ian to sit right next to him, so that he can hear him better. Ian, oblivious, does so:

[Pavel] “Maybe they aren’t interested in the bread. Maybe it’s you … I like guys who make things. It’s sexy …”

(Pavel tries to kiss Ian)

[Ian] “That’s out of line!”

[Pavel] “For fun!”

Ian does not agree, and sends Pavel packing (after he’s allowed to finish his wine. Ian still has his manners).

And Ian being Ian, he tells Adam what happened when Adam gets back in. By that time, Ian can see the funny side of it.

[Ian] “He’s got all the patter … before you know it, bang, hand on the thigh and in for the big kiss!”

[Adam] “You’re not serious … it wasn’t a joke?”

Ian plays it down. And takes the Michael out of Adam for suggesting that Pavel couldn’t find him (Ian) attractive).

[Adam] “All the same. It shouldn’t have happened.”

[Ian] “Hey, you don’t think for one second I was tempted? … of course I wasn’t. Why would I want a quick fumble with a silly kid like Pavel, not when I’ve got you Adam?”

Ah, that must have been a sting to Adam’s guilty conscience.

If only he was half the man that Ian was … he’d have told Ian about the one night stand with Pavel, and dealt with the consequences head on.

Instead, he’s got to continue lying, and now has the worry that Pavel will keep using his special charms to get Ian into bed.

But Adam doesn’t need to worry.

As I said, Ian’s twice the man Adam is.

Adam’s found to something to like about the Super Dairy
Well, I don’t suppose we can blame him. He’d need to have at least one thing to stay positive and sane about.

David was mentioning he’d seen lorries arriving at Valley Farm (the one with the swifts, whom one assumes will not be as welcome back next year). Adam tells him their getting the start of the foundations down, and also the anaerobic digester.

Adam’s a fan of the ‘AD Unit’. Seems it’ll produce enough power foe the whole dairy, the workers’ accommodation and also to sell back to the grid.

He also thinks Brian should have covered the Super Dairy in solar panels to generate even more power.

[Adam] “The more you control your energy. The less you get mucked about.”

Hmmm … is that more about Adam Vs Brian than Adam saving the planet or their business money?

Friday, 31 August 2012

Darrell ate the last of the bread: Fri 31.08.12

The Archers Friday 31st August 2012

Just fix the bloomin’ washing machine!
Matt sends Lilian out for cigars
Darrell’s caught between a washing machine and a Police record
Adam had a pasty
Lynda tries to recruit Elona
Vicky tells Lynda

Just fix the bloomin’ washing machine!

Elona is not a happy bunny with Darrell.

First, she’s suspicious of a cake.

[Elona] “What’s this? … this sponge cake?”

It’s from Joyce.

Then, Elona is suspicious of a sandwich.

[Elona] “What was in your sandwich?”

Only cheese. Which there is more of. But Darrell’s finished all of the bread.

Oh dear.

Seems Elona is upset because Mrs Gloria Hamilton died in the night. Mrs Hamilton hadn’t even been ill. Elona found her dead when she’d brought her morning tea.

[Elona] “She used to laugh big … hearty. And today, no more Gloria. No more laugh. I would have liked to say goodbye.”

So, death. No bread. A suspicious cake. And the washing machine is also broken.

To top that, Darrell’s off to speak to Matt rather than sort the bloomin’ washing machine.

Later on:

[Elona] “Darrell, you are a carpenter not a philosopher. All your walking around won’t get the washing machine fixed!”

Seems Anna needs some clothes for a weekend with her pals. Her weekend will be ruined if she can’t have them washed and ready.

[Elona] “I have two jobs, and I still manage to cook for you, clean this house, and do the washing when I have a washing machine that works!”

*sigh*

Elona is right.

But she’s putting Darrell into an impossible situation.

If only Darrell would tell her what’s happening.

Matt sends Lilian out for cigars

When Darrell comes round to see Matt, Matt makes sure that Lilian isn't around to hear what Darrell has to say.

[Matt] “Didn’t you say you need some fags? Can you get me some cigars while you’re at the shop?”

[Lilian, incredulous] “You want me, to get you, some cigars?”

Though Lilian is far from amused, she does Matt’s bidding.

Even more bizarre, Lilian also doesn’t blink when she’s charged £24.05 for 40 of her “usual”, and 10 of Matt’s slim cigars.

Ad a smoker myself, I always want to burst into tears when I buy my tobacco.

(I know. There’s allegedly an easy solution to that)

Darrell’s caught between a washing machine and a Police record

Darrell wanted to tell Matt that what he’s been asked to do is “not fair”. Not only did Matt make him try and force Joyce and Arthur out of their home, Matt then blamed Darrell for the problems at their house in front of Lilian.

Matt is entirely unrepentant,

[Matt] “If you’ve got a problem with the tasks I set you, you’re free to take your tools elsewhere.”

Darrell reckons he might just do that.

Then Matt reminds Darrell of his prison record.

Damn him!

Darrell’s basically a good chap so needs to grow a backbone. To both Matt, and Elona.

Adam had a pasty

Lilian bumps into Adam coming out of the village shop.

He’s clutching a pasty.

[Lilian] “Isn’t that a bit eh, whatever the opposite of haute cuisine is?”

[Adam] “I know, living with a chef is great, but sometimes I get a craving for food wrapped in cellophane tasting of cardboard.”

Adam tells Lilian that he’s coping with Brian, now that he’s back working at Home Farm. “Rubbing along” was the way he put it.

[Adam] “Well, he’ll never change will he Lilian … so it’s really down to me how I choose to deal with him.”

[Lilian] “Working with Matt, he always sails close to the wind, but sometimes he doesn’t know where the wind is … maybe I need to choose how I want to react.”

Ah – Lilian has her cigarettes – and she’s been inspired.

Mind the step, Matt.

Lynda tries to recruit Elona

To show during the Flower and produce show.

[Lynda] “It’s a wonderful way to deepen your involvement in village life.”

Hmmm.

Best stay clear for a few years, I reckon.

Vicky tells Lynda

During her shift in the village shop, Vicky bursts into tears.

She almost tells Lynda what’s the matter, but doesn’t.

However, she does tell Lynda, later on, when Lynda visits her after sending her home from the shop.

[Lynda] “You must be devastated.”

[Vicky] “I am. You always picture, when you think about having a baby in your head, it’s always perfect. I know I’m going to love it, but …”

[Lynda] “You’re going to have it then?”

[Vicky] “Oh yeah, I couldn’t so anything else, I couldn’t …”

[Lynda] “It’s very brave of you Vicky. And Mike, he feels the same way?”

[Vicky] “I don’t think he does. But I can’t do it without him. I love him so much, I have to have this baby …I’m just desperate for him to … he’s got to want it as well. He has to.”

What Down’s Syndrome could mean for the baby: Thurs 30.08.12

(and for Vicky and Mike)

The Archers Thursday 30th August 2012

Herd Manager’s get paid £60k!
The Brookfield grassland hasn’t worked
Vicky and Mike’s baby definitely has Down’s Syndrome

Herd Manager’s get paid £60k!

Blimey!

Seems Brian is in a “sunny mood” as he and Debbie have got a good batch of applications for the job.

No wonder, at that rate of pay!

The Brookfield grassland hasn’t worked

Ruth and David had planted Timothy and the like to try and improve their pasture.

But it hasn’t really worked. They’ll need to try again, re-ploughing in the Spring if need be.

But, quite contrary to David and Ruth’s normal reaction to adversity (get deeply and darkly depressed), they can’t be frustrated this time.

Their part (now a picnic) is on Wednesday.

And:

[David] “If the worst we’ve got to worry about now is patchy germination, things can’t be that bad.”

Vicky and Mike’s baby definitely has Down’s Syndrome

Seems the test has no margin of error.

[Doctor] “Your baby definitely has down syndrome … but, what we don’t know of course is to what degree that will affect its development …children with down’s syndrome often share characteristics, including particular facial features, but there’s as much variety as with other babies … some don’t have any specific medical issues …”

But the baby may have heart problems. Bowel problems. Problems with its sight and hearing.

[Vicky] “You always see them wearing glasses, don’t you?”

And its immune system might be compromised.

[Doctor] “They can be at a great of infections, a higher frequency of coughs and colds …”

[Vicky] “Well that’s not a problem is it, a few more sniffles …”

Well, the doctor explains it’s more about being susceptible to lots of other infections.

But. Their baby might have some of these problems. It might have none at all.

[Mike] “Even if you can give them an operation or whatever, they're still going to be mentally handicapped.”

[Doctor] “We tend not to use that phrase nowadays but yes … all children with down's syndrome will have some degree of learning difficulty.”

[Vicky] “Some degree, so that might be mild?”

Yes, the doctor explains, but the baby will definitely be slower to reach “milestones”, like walking or talking. On the flip side, he explains that most folks born with Down’s Syndrome will go to lead fairly independent lives, being able to do things like dress and feed themselves.

[Mike] “Most. But not all.”

[Doctor] “It is easy at this stage to focus on the problems.”

And he explains that life expectancy for folks with Down’s Syndrome is 60/65 now.

[Mike] “I’ll be long gone then, won’t I!”

[Doctor] “Nobody expects to outlive their children.”

But as negative as Mike is being, he’s also being practical. He’s worried about who will support their child when they’re gone.

[Doctor] “One way parents look at it is it’s different, not worse, every child is a person with their own personality and they’ll al capable of bringing joy to the people around them.”

[Vicky] “They can be very affectionate, can’t they, happy children …”

The doctor concurs. Though points out they can also be sad, just like anyone else.

And he gives them a leaflet (!).

Mike then asks about abortion - how many folks have them, and the like.

The doctor tells them that it’s always a very personal decision. Each couple has to make their own choice.

[Vicky] “I don’t care. I don’t care what anyone else does. I couldn’t do that to my baby! … I just know that I want this baby. And I’m going to love and care for it come what may. It’s our baby, Mike.”

When they get home, Vicky wants to be able to talk to other folks about the result. Mike doesn’t want to (as per).

[Mike] “Don’t want to have to tell them one thing, then have to tell them another … you know, if we decided, if we go for termination … have your really thought it through … this baby, it was going to be hard enough work if it were normal, now look at all the problems it will have …”

[Vicky] “Our baby is a gift Mike. I don’t care how hard it’s going to be.”

[Mike] “You say that now, but it’s going to be day in, day out, for years and years, you’ll be getting older, I’ll be getting older. We have a good life Vicky, while spoil it?”

[Vicky] “Please, I can’t bear it.”

Oh, how awful.

Just a wee baby, much loved and wanted by his or her mum.

But Mike … the ever practical ...

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Men only bread competition: Thurs 23.08.12

The Archers Thursday 23rd August 2012

Ruth wants a party
It’s nearly Flower & Produce Show time!
The village shop has a scanner
Brookfield cows are soon to go in
Ruth doesn’t harass Adam
Funday at Shula’s
Matt needs cash

Ruth wants a party

[Ruth] “David, I’ve been thinking, we could have some people round some time. A party.”

Steady on Ruth!

She’s full of the joys that they can all get back to normal at Brookfield. The rest of the gang are up in court today.

And, Ruth reasons, that if they can have a party over a new slurry tank (which they did), they can surely celebrate this.

Later on that day, they hear the gang have all plead guilty.

Which means there won’t be a full trial, so David won’t have to be a witness.

[David] “It looks like it’s finally all over love … so, what about this tea party, eh?”

Ah David, David, David.

I don’t think only tea and cake was what Ruth had in mind.

It’s nearly Flower & Produce Show time!

Hurrah! (I hear you cry)

This year, there’ll be a bread category – for men only.

I’ve no idea why.

Nobody said.

The village shop has a scanner

How very modern indeed.

Though it’s a bit dangerous in the wrong hands.

Vicky scanned Brenda’s beans twice.

The horror.

(sorry – it was a slow day)

Brookfield cows are soon to go in

Only another month or 6 weeks to go.

Why nobody sees it’s a tad hypocritical for Brookfield to now keep its cows on for longer, but harass Brian over the Super Dairy, I don’t know.

Ruth doesn’t harass Adam

[Adam] “I suppose I better start getting my head round this whole dairy business.”

Adam’s telling Ruth that he now has to fill five silage clamps, 20,000 tonnes of it.

Ruth doesn’t blink. Though she’s firmly against the Super Dairy, she knows Adam really didn’t have a choice.

And if it hadn’t been Adam, Brian would have got someone else in anyway.

Funday at Shula’s

[Ruth] “Horsey games, Freddie’s been getting quite excited about it.”

Matt needs cash

Or so he claims.

[Matt] “I’ll let you into a little secret, currently we have a cashflow problem, a serious one.”

Either Matt’s telling the truth, so that Darrell understands why he’s so keen to get the Walters moved.

Or, he just wants Darrell to do as he’s told.

Anyhoo, Matt reckons that he needs the money ready, rather than tied up in bricks and mortar.

[Matt] “I want to see some action, something a little bit extra … even if you have to intervene a bit …”

Darrell’s going to buckle under the pressure.

Not only does his family need him to keep his work with Matt, but now Matt’s fortune depends on him.

Looks like the Walters will be moving …

Friday, 24 August 2012

Adam wants to get put more: Sun 19.08.12

The Archers Sunday 19th August 2012

Adam’s acting guilty
Mike doesn’t want chocolate chip, or to talk
Football supporters descend on The Bull
Ian prefers home to clubbing
Fallon’s the brains, Rhys pulls the pints

Adam’s acting guilty

Adam’s bought Ian an orchard.

[Adam] “Not too rainforest for you? … I’ve a man in Peru who ships them over.”

[Ian] “Very romantic.”

And what’s more, Adam’s booked them dinner at Milo’s (the restaurant Ian had booked for Adam’s birthday, but Adam was too tired to go). Ian’s perplexed at the sudden outpouring of niceness.

[Ian] “I’d love to but, why, what’s the special occasion? What have I done to deserve this?”

[Adam] “Do I need an excuse … let’s just say it’s for being with me … I’m not too proud of the way I’ve behaved … you kept me sane. I might have been on a plane to Nairobi …”

Ah-ha.

Adam knows that he’s behaved far, far worse than Ian realises.

Orchards and dinner won’t take away that guilt.

Mike doesn’t want chocolate chip, or to talk

The biscuits, because he was too busy to work.

After sorting the pulsator (whatever that is) for Ed, Mike’s so tired from work that he needs a nap. But, spotting that Vicky isn’t too chirpy at the moment, he suggests they go out to The Bull after he has his nap.
So, they go to the Bull.

Mike’s rabbiting on about everything but the decision they have to make.

Vicky tries to talk about the amniocentesis test. She’s been looking it up on the internet. Which is always a dangerous thing to do. She’s just confused herself even more.

[Mike] “Vicky love, maybe this isn’t the best time or place.”

[Vicky] “I know you’d rather not talk about it … but that won’t make it go away.”

Tomorrow, Mike says.

They’ll talk about tomorrow.

Football supporters descend on The Bull

Not really.

Rhys was just winding up Fallon.

The cad.

[Fallon] “I’m serious, you’ll go down in the cellar and you won’t come out!”

Ian prefers home to clubbing

Adam wants to have a social life

But not when it would involve socialising with the pickers.

[Adam] “No I see quite enough of the pickers at work, thanks all the same.”

Hmmm. Wonder why he’s so sure about that …

Anyhoo, Adam does want to go out more, but wants to go further than The Bull.

[Ian] “What, so go clubbing? Really? Are you sure you’re up to that?”

[Adam] “Are you suggesting I’m past it … I’m not saying we have to stoke ourselves with chemicals and stay out all night!”

[Ian] “Well, who wants to be 23 again.”

Ian then mentions Pavel.

He’s been thinking of him (not in ‘that’ way, or because he suspects anything), and about how he’s not committed to anything. Not tied down. Can do what he wants.

But Ian wouldn’t want to swap places.

[Ian] “What we’re got is so much better … All that stress and insecurity, one night stands and two day hangovers, who needs it … I am sounding very middle aged here, but I like our life the way it is. Sitting at home at night, watching DVDs, the garden, the hot tub, breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings …”

Fallon’s the brains, Rhys pulls the pints

Fallon is determined to keep the pub busy. She seems to be on a mission to prove she can successfully run it, while Jolene is away.

Rhys isn’t impressed. Fallon keeping the pub busy by putting on more and more entertainment is just making them having to work harder. He thinks The Bull us busy enough as it is.

[Fallon, taking the Michael out of Rhys] “How to run a successful pub … you just put a sign outside saying pub, and wait for people to come pouring in!”

Rhys fights back. He tells Fallon that she doesn’t need to make an effort, as Jolene will be back enough soon to take care of it.

[Fallon] “Oh, so why should I worry my pretty little head about it.”

[Rhys, talking about all of the events] “I just don’t get it .”

[Fallon] “No, you wouldn’t, would you. That’s why I’m in charge and you’re a bar man. So no need to worry your head about it, you just keep serving the drinks and leave the rest to me.”

Meow!

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Pavel wants more: Fri 17.08.12

The Archers Friday 17th August 2012

Jennifer’s American magnolia is dying
Mike’s not sure he wants to be a dad?
Pavel just wants to have fun

Jennifer’s American magnolia is dying

Just as she needs it to cover up Ruairi’s concrete ‘ dog’ statue.

It’s the day of the picker’s party, so she wants that dog hidden as much as possible.

[Jennifer] “It was helping to screen that wretched dog.”

[Adam] “Everyone’s seen it anyway, and know it’s not your bad taste, it’s Ruairi’s.”

But seemingly Charlotte’s mum is coming. Charlotte is a mate of Alice. Who I’ve never heard of before, but seemingly Alice must must must have there to comfort her over not getting a job she’d been going for. Can Charlotte can’t come if her mum doesn’t come, as she can’t get there otherwise.

(still with me? Very dull, I know).

Jennifer really doesn’t like Charlotte’s mother.

[Jennifer] “She’s such a terrible social climber, she’d love the chance to sneer at my hideous garden statue.”

So Pavel and Adam move it. Jennifer thought they’d managed to smash it (huzzah!), but alas, it was just fine.

Mike’s not sure he wants to be a dad?

Well, he started out still wanting to be a dad this evening.

Proper full of the joys.

He even asked Vicky if it was okay if he had a beer, as she wouldn’t be able to have booze. They need to keep:

[Mike] “junior nice and fit and healthy.”

But after Vicky tells him of the risk and the tests, and the risks of the test. That they might (just might) have a baby with down’s syndrome.

[Mike] “I don’t know what to say.”

[Vicky] “We don’t know yet.”

[Mike] “How could you not ay. How could you keep it to yourself?”

Vicky tells him she was scared to say anything, but now he needs to know. And she can’t do it alone.

[Mike] “It was hard enough going to be a dad at my age, but now …”

This might get very difficult and tricky indeed.

Pavel just wants to have fun

Adam’s happy, so Ian is happy and Pavel is also happy.

If only Ian knew …

Ian and Pavel were having great japes trying to be Dog Guards (hiding the statue from Charlotte’s mum).

When Pavel managed to get Adam to himself:

[Pavel] “I think being around me is still hard for you …You and Ian have such a great relationship, I don’t want to make any trouble for you.”

Adam apologies for dragging Pavel into this situation.

But Pavel didn’t sound like he was dragged, He says again he had a great time with Adam. That it was fun. That no one had got hurt.

[Pavel] “And if you want to … we all need to have a bit of fun sometimes, don’t we?”

Bunny boiler …

Adam and Jamie accept their fate (separately, of course): Thurs 16.08.12

The Archers Thursday 16th August 2012

Kathy’s on about Rosa again
Brian and Adam shake on it
The exam results ‘rave’
Jamie’s not going to Uni
Rosa finally gets her man …

Kathy’s on about Rosa again

Quite bizarre.

But at least this time she’s calling Rosa “cool” to her face.

Rosa’s new scooter really has turned Kathy’s head.

Anyhoo.

Kathy happens to mention that Natalie is having the exam results party.

At that, Rosa’s speeding off on her 50cc, at 30 miles an hour.

Brian and Adam shake on it

Brian tells Adam that he’s stopped the Farm Manager recruitment advert from going in again next week.

[Adam] “Okay, so …”

[Brian] “For now. And I’m really hoping I don’t have to again, but I'm still waiting for that commitment from you.”

And Brian wants that commitment before the pickers party at Home Farm.

[Brian] “Your mother’s putting so much love and care into the celebrations … it’s a family celebration to … this time a week ago, she was terrified you’d be leaving the farm going to goodness knows where … she’d be very upset if it unravel again.”

[Adam] “What more do you want of me, exactly … how about this, I'll stay on, and I’ll be fully committed to running the whole of the arable business, including supplying the dairy.”

It’s exactly what Brian needed to hear. And Adam sounds like he’s also convinced himself as well. He’s going all into this, as there’s no point being half hearted, and he’s promised not to moan.

[Adam] “I’ll do all I can to make to work for us, and that’s a promise.”

[Brian] “Thanks Adam, I know that can’t have been easy for you.”

And they shake on it. Adam keeps his job (at the price of his ethics), Brian gets his preferred Farm manager (at no extra cost at all!).

[Brian] “This may not always seem obvious to you, but keeping the family together means just as much to me as it does to your mother.”

Well, none of us really believe that one, Brian.

The exam results ‘rave’

(well, it was a party. Just that. A normal party. No rave intended …)

Natalie sounds tiddly from the off. She’s on the vodka. Well, she needs to celebrate. She got four As!

[Rosa] “She’s really going for it tonight isn’t she, I didn’t know she was such a party girl.”

Jamie’s not going to Uni

Jamie didn’t phone Kathy to tell her what he’d got. She had to leave a begging message.

He’d earlier told Rosa that he got one A, couple of B, and a C. Which he was worried about telling Kathy about. Those grades sounded fine to me.

But when Jamie gets home, he tells Kathy the truth. He got two Cs, a D and an E.

[Jamie] “They're rubbish grades, I totally mucked it.”

Kathy’s shocked, but manages to pull it together to say that at least he still has his A2s to do (whatever they are). He can still get to Uni.

[Jamie] “Uni? And end up with a 40 grand overdraft. Why?”

[Kathy] “You know why. To give yourself a decent start in life.”

But Jamie doesn’t agree. He’s not going to sit anymore exams. He’s not going back to College. And he’s most definitely not going to Uni.

Well, Mike is looking for a milkman …

Rosa finally gets her man …

Rosa crashes Natalie’s party, and makes a beeline for Jamie. She even gives him a go on her new scooter.

[Rosa] “If you’re really good, maybe I’ll give you another ride sometime.”

Rosa’s an odd one. She fancies Jamie, so she starts talking to him about his girlfriend:

[Rosa] “She’s got so much going for her. She’s cool, and she’s clever and she’s attractive. And she’s got you.”

Rosa than makes Jamie come up close to her so that she can ‘sort his hair’. It sounds like Rosa is just about to kiss him when Natalie catches sight …

[Natalie] “I saw you Jamie … shut up you tramp, what are you doing here anyway. It’s my party! … Don’t touch me, there’s nothing you can say to me now. I just want you to go away. Hear me, go on, now … we’re finished Jamie. It’s over.”

Oops.

If that’s what Rosa wanted to happen, job done!

Monday, 13 August 2012

There’s two “decent” gay bars in Felpersham: Mon 13.08.12

The Archers Monday 13th August 2012

Stuck between Matt and a Scooter
Three go Mad in Dorset!
Rave? Is it the Nineties?
Ian’s gaydar is broken
Ian wants to party with Pavel

Stuck between Matt and a Scooter

Darrell’s going to see Walters’ house again.

[Matt] “Good man, good man, pleased to hear it, knew you’d come to see it my way .. .we’d be doing them a favour Darrell.”

[Darrell] “Yeah but mate, it’s really not that bad …”

[Matt] “Never mind, the sooner we can persuade them to move out, the better.”

[Darrell] “I’ll be honest with ya, I’m still not too happy about this business.”

I’m surprised Darrell got away with calling Matt “mate”.

Darrell insists he’s going to talk to Joyce and Arthur (aka the Walters) before he makes a decision about what to do.

[Matt] “If that’s the want you want to play it.”

[Darrell] “It’s the only way I know how.”

Later on, Matt meets Darrell coming out of the Walters’:

[Matt] “Keeping well, are they?”

Darrell starts going on about Joyce’s dodgy hip which, of course, Matt really couldn’t give a hoot about. He just wants them out. The hip is only another excuse to get them into an easy. Modern (tiny) flat (beneath Jazzer – who’s likely to be even more noisy now that harry isn’t there).

[Darrell] “It’s not on Matt, I can’t really do it.”

[Matt] “Just tell me it’s much more serious … the place won’t be fit to live in while you work.”

[Darrell] “I don’t know if I can Matt. They’re not stupid you know.”

[Matt] “You’re not trying Darrell.”

[Darrell] “They’re happy. This is their home … it feels a bit like harassment to me.”

[Matt] “Oh does it now … may it’s time to show me just how grateful you are … you’ve got a big heart and it’s in the right place … (but) … go home, have a think about it, and see if you can’t find a way to change your mind.”

When Darrell gets home, it’s Rosa’s bloomin’ scooter than changes Darrell’s mind.

She and Elona went off and bought it, for £50 deposit and no interest for a year.

Rosa goes on and on about how brilliant it is that Darrell can’t seem to tell her no.

[Darrell] “No, no of course you won’t have to take it back."

I can see why Darrell ended up in prison the last time. He has string principles, and is fundamentally a decent chap but he’s also a bit weak.

Three go Mad in Dorset!

Pip’s getting the milking lady cows in on her own.

David and Ruth (and Ben) are off on their holiday to Dorset.

For one while night!

Even though it’s such a short break (which hardly seems worth doing), Ruth still has to check-in

[Pip] “The cows, are fine, Josh is fine, the sheep are fine, and guess what, the house isn’t falling down either.”

Chill pill Ruth and David. Take longer, go further and don’t waste your time checking back.

Rave? Is it the Nineties?

[Rosa] “There’s a rumour that there’s going to be a big rave on Thursday night.”

[Pip] “Rave?”

[Rosa] “Like a massive party to celebrate the exam results.”

Goodness me – I haven’t heard anyone say ‘rave’ for many a moon!

Surely something folks of my age used to say when Rosa’s age – not Rosa’s age still saying it.

She’s an odd ‘un, that Rosa.

She was trying to find out if Pip or Josh know where the “rave” was – the seemed to be sad she wouldn’t be invited (she’s still a new ‘un) – then determined to crash it.

[Rosa] “who needs an invite!”

Ian’s gaydar is broken

Pavel’s round for tea at Ian and Adam’s.

Pavel was invited by Ian (Adam has no say in the matter – Ian was insistent) to help make Polish food. Pierogi, to be exact.

But Pavel has a confession to make …

[Pavel] “So I lied about my grandmother, she was a lousy cook, and she died before I was born.”

[Ian] “I fell straight for that one, didn’t I”

When Adam comes home, and Pavel goes to hunt the beer:

[Ian] “Have you heard the news about harry the milkman … I think it’s great .. .though he’s left a lot of disappointed women around Ambridge.”

[Adam] “Was that what you were talking about with when I came in?”

[Ian] “What, with Pavel? No. Does he even know Harry?”

[Adam] “Maybe not, but he’d be interested. Surely.”

[Ian] “Why? What? Really, are you telling me, he’s …”

[Adam] “Oh come, surely you must have …”

[Ian] “How do you know? Come on, what makes you so sure, have you actually asked him?”

[Adam] “No. What about that famous gaydar of yours?”

[Ian] “Alright, so maybe he is, but he’s said nothing to me about it.”

[Adam] “So why don’t you ask?”

Is it just me, or is Adam asking for Ian to find out that he slept with Pavel? And not by having to tell him himself?!?

As Adam leaves them in the kitchen:

[Ian] “He’s tired, he’ll soon perk up.”

[Pavel] “I hope so.”

(I wasn’t going to fall for mentioning any of the 'oh Matrons' being made in tonight’s eavesdropping, but am just about to)

I bet he does!

*snort*

Ian wants to party with Pavel

Oh dear.

Later on in the evening, it sounded like Pavel, Ian and Adam were in the hot tub. Ian sounded quite merry indeed:

[Ian] “Toast, to the home farm arable manager, and to me not having to find a new job in Botswana … you only did it because you couldn’t bear to leave the hot tub behind!”

[Pavel] “To the hot tub, Na zdrowie”

The Pavel gets serious.

[Pavel] “I can say this now that there’s no secrets between us … I’m happy that you know.”

(well, Ian doesn’t know the half of it!)

[Ian] I’m so slow on the uptake. Adam got there way before I did I!”

(did he ever!)

Pavel starts talking about the sheer freedom Adam and Ian have. They can be together. Do what they like. Without fear.

(well, in some parts of Britain. There’s still plenty where they’d have their windows broken, or chased out with pitchforks)

[Pavel] “It’s like having to learn a whole new language, and sometimes I get it wrong, I can’t read the signs, you understand … but it’s still so much better.”

Ian tells Pavel he must make the most of him time over here. So Pavel asks where the “fun places” are. Ian tells him there are a “couple decent gay bars in Felpersham”.

(who’d have thunk it!)

They also arrange to have a meet up before, and do something after, the Home Farm pickers party this Friday.

Adam agrees.

Oh this really isn’t going to end well …

Brian makes Adam beg: Sun 12.08.12

The Archers Sunday 12th August 2012

Adam will just have to apply
Vicky’s fluttering
Harry’s bisexual; bad news for Mike
Brian’s hardly magnanimous …
Polish night at Ian and Adam’s … with Pavel

Adam will just have to apply

Not sure why it took 2 days for Adam to get from his hot tub to Home Farm, but he does, and starts shouting at Brian advertising his job:

[Adam] “Will somebody tell me what the hell’s going on, I see my own job advertised in the paper … there are ways and ways”

Brian’s not remotely perturbed. He thinks he has a right to advertise for a Farm Manager. Adam wouldn’t do it, and he couldn’t expect a new Farm Manager to just coming knocking. He doesn’t even agree with Adam that he should have been told about the advert, even just out of politeness:

[Brian] “Polite? Adam, you had your chance. Your chose to go your own way, well fair enough, why should you expect to be consulted?”

[Adam, sounding a tad humble] “Did it ever cross your mind that I, um, might be having second thoughts?”

It was painful listening – Adam, having to admit to Brian that he wants to stay. That he and Ian don’t want to move. And:

[Adam] “My future’s here with you at Home Farm, whatever it takes.”

[Brian] “Whoa, hold on here, after all that’s happened, you’ve changed your mind, just like that … I'm sorry, you’re too late, the ads gone out … I've noted your interest in the position and we’ll let you know.”

Adam storms off.

Jennifer’s appalled at Brian. He still couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks:

[Brian] “After the way he’s behaved, all that song and dance, he can’t just expect to stroll back in!”

[Jennifer] “You’re not going to let him go! Oh Brian!”

When Adam tells Ian:

[Ian] “He’s lacking a few people skills, but he’s not stupid.”

Ian reckons Adam is too good at his job for Brian to be serious about choosing someone else over him.

Adam reckons not. He might have pushed Brian to the point where Brian would be glad to get rid of him.

[Ian] “Given the history here, he wasn’t going to welcome you back with open arms.”

Adam’s only hope now is Debbie. Though a tough lady, she's seemingly not into Brian’s power games.

Vicky’s fluttering

As Mike gets coffee in bed from Vicky (and a promise of breakfast in bed to follow), Vicky tells him that she might have felt a kick last night:

[Vicky] “Just a little flutter you know … well, they do say after 18, 19 weeks.”

I do hope that baby will be born okay …

Harry’s bisexual; bad news for Mike

As Mike gets his rare morning in bed, he’s looking forward to getting his workers back at dinner time.

[Mike] “Get their shifts sorted. I don’t want to have to do extra anymore.”

(Those of us who eavesdrop in on Ambridge Extra knew what was coming next …)

Mile and Vicky hear the sound of the letterbox. When Mike goes to see what’s happening, he finds a letter, and sees Fallon driving off in her van.

She’s posted a letter from Harry (then legged it).

[Mike] “You know what Harry’s done … he’s not coming back, ever, and do you know why?”

Actually. Yes. Vicky does know. She’s a modern kinda gal, you see:

[Vicky] “Mike look, it’s here on his Facebook see … and who’s that with him?”

[Mike, reading Harry’s Facebook page] “Grant?”

[Vicky] “His old boyfriend from when he was at uni …”

[Mike] “Boyfriend!”

[Vicky] “They met up again on holiday, now they’re back together.”

[Mike] “I don’t get it …”

[Vicky] “Isn’t it just so romantic, after all those years, oh it’s so sweet, you can see how much in love they are.”

[Mike] “So all this time, Harry’s been …”

[Vicky] “Oh come on, you’re not so surprised are you, he’s such a sweet and sensitive boy, I always wondered … oh Mike, you’re so old fashioned, that girl was never right for him that’s all. But now he’s back with his true love, and all because the van broke down in Cumbria … if that’s not fate … such a happening, like a fairy tale.”

[Mike] “What about me? Where am I going to find another milkman!”

Goodness, I do like Vicky (sometimes!).

Doesn’t bat an eyelid about Harry coming out. She’s just delighted he’s found his love.

And bless Mike as well.

All he’s really interested in is work …

Brian’s hardly magnanimous …

On the phone to Debbie:

[Brian] “No, I’m not being petty, yes of course I’ll do what’s best for the farm. As long as Adam understands …”

When he gets off the phone, he tells Jennifer:

[Brian] “She agrees with me, she’s also pretty fed up with him acting the prima donna …”

BUT Debbie also concurs that they’d be mad to let Adam go.

[Brian] “Apart from the whole family thing, we’d be hard pushed to find anyone as good … I’ll go down and find him later and say we’ll have him back … I was going to do it anyway, I just wanted to make him sweat a bit.”

[Jennifer] “And you will be, um, diplomatic about it, won’t you?”

[Brian] “Diplomatic? When am I ever anything else?”

(ha!)

[Brian to Adam] “So I’m willing to stop the ad, and tear up any replies I get … well, apart from anything else, it’ll save me and Debbie a lot of paperwork …your sudden change of heart, it caught me on the hop. You can see why I had to have time to adjust,”

Here’s the ‘but’ …

[Brian] “There is one important caveat, if this is going to work, I’ll expect you to be 100% full committed to the job … so I want to see some enthusiasm, a nice happy positive attitude, no more moaning and dragging your feet …”

In other words – shut up, get your work done, and say nothing else negative about the Super Dairy.

Of course, that makes Adam say that he needs more time to think. Though he manages not to shout to Brian, he can’t quite stomach having to grovel. Not yet.

[Adam to Ian] “He wants me to get down and lick his boots.”

[Ian] “Okay, well that’s some sort of progress … you’ve still got a job to go tomorrow morning …”

Ian wants to celebrate with some fizz, but Adam’s not as yet ready to party.

Which is fair enough. I wouldn’t want to celebrate is grovelling to Adam was on my ‘to do’ list.

Polish night at Ian and Adam’s … with Pavel

Oh dear.

Ian’s insisting that they have their champagne tomorrow. And that they invite Pavel round to help celebrate. Seems Ian’s been trying some of Pavel’s grandmother’s recipes, so wants to have a proper Polish night.

[Ian] “Come on, no arguments, it’ll be more fun with the three of us. I’ll text him now.”

Oh dear.

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.

Odds shorten on Ian kicking Adam out, Adam leaving Ambridge, Ian staying put.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Adam’s staying: Fri 10.08.12

The Archers Friday 10th August 2012

Adam and Ian are leaving
Blast Rosa and her scooter!
Adam tries to blame Pavel
Adam and Ian are staying …
… or maybe not!

Adam and Ian are leaving

[Adam] “The last harvest at home farm.”

[Ian] “Things aren’t working here, I can see what it’s doing to you.”

[Adam] “I need to know you’re happy for us to move away.”

[Ian] “I’ll find something else. Everyone needs to eat.”

They’re interrupted by a text from Pavel … which doesn’t say much (just asking what Adam is doing later), but Adam’s spluttering reaction was a bit much. Ian didn’t notice though. He thought the invite was for them both.

Blast Rosa and her scooter!

Matt sends Darrell round to the Walters’ house to see how much work it needs done on it.

[Matt] “And we don’t want a sweet old couple like Joyce and Arthur living in a dump.”

Rosa wants a scooter.

Darrell’s trapped between Matt and the scooter …

After spending most of the day writing down what needs to be fixed in the house that Joyce and Arthur have been living in for 40 years, Darrell hasn’t found anything serious to report.

Matt soon sees to that.

A bit of damp becomes a major problem, which Matt thinks Darrell will need to tear apart the house to fix.

[Matt] “If Arthur and Joyce don’t like it, they could move somewhere else. I’ve already offered them a flat.”

[Darrell] “I’m not sure I want to … what are you actually asking me to do Matt?”

Noting illegal, but certainly not very humane.

[Matt] “I wouldn’t bother mentioning it to Lilian though. She doesn't like to get her hands dirty with the day to day maintenance.”

Again, Darrell either does Matt’s bidding, and gets the money to buy stuff for his very demanding family, or he says no and has no work.

Just tell Lilian.

She’ll soon put a stop to Matt.

Adam tries to blame Pavel

Adam goes round to see Pavel.

[Adam] “I got your text.”

[Pavel] “You could not wait, yes … I am thinking about you also.”

[Adam] “That’s not why I’m here Pavel. This has to stop … This isn’t some free and easy open relationship you’re messing with, this is my marriage.”

[Pavel] “Then you should have said no. It was just a bit of fun …”

[Adam] “Well not for me, don’t you get that Pavel. It was a mistake, I just wanted to let rip, to let go, and feel like you, I suppose … how I used to, when you think you can take on the world … you fall in love and then you realise you can’t put yourself first all the time … Do you have any idea how guilty I feel.”

[Pavel] “I understand, but why do you say this to me?”

[Adam] “Because I don't want you to ruin my relationship.”

[Pavel] “And I have not told anybody … so what are you doing here. Maybe it’s not me you should be talking to.”

Spot on Pavel!

Adam and Ian are staying

Adam tells Ian Pavel has gone clubbing, so they’ll just have a quiet night in.

Ian decides to do Adam’s socks.

(seriously, does anyone deserve a fabulous chap like Ian?)

[Adam] “I don’t want us to move away, I mean, we don’t have to … you were right. I’ve been completely self-obsessed … maybe mum’s right,. Maybe I am still recovering,. It’s like drowning.”

(ah – I think Adam is indeed still suffering from that heavy tap on his head)

[Adam] “It’s fantasy Ian, where would we go?”

Adam’s now promising to change (where have we heard that before? More and more like Brian every day)

[Adam] “It means the world to me that you would give everything up.”

So – Adam’s going to make a similar gesture.

He’s going to tell Brian he will grow the arable.

[Adam] “I lost the argument, I just need to accept it and move on.”

… or maybe not!

Adam and Ian ease themselves into their hot tub.

Adam has a G&T in one hand.

And a farming magazine in the other.

Bliss (for Adam).

[Adam] “It’s important to keep up to date.”

How true.

Adam spots the recruitment advert Brian had placed the other day. The one to replace Adam.

Oops.

[Adam] “He’s got to be joking. How’s that for family, eh!”

[Ian] “Adam. Don’t go doing anything stupid.”

*sigh*

Back to the beginning then, I suppose.

Shula misses the Olympics: Wed 08.08.12

The Archers Wednesday 8th August 2012

Jennifer won’t lose Adam
What a rubbish birthday for Shula
David and Ruth to go on holiday
Pip’s a saint?
Jennifer’s trying to work out Mike’s age
Ruth wouldn’t say no to a ham sandwich

Jennifer won’t lose Adam

[Jennifer] “Adam wait. You’re not really leaving the farm, are you?”

[Adam] “Well there’s not an awful lot keeping me here.”

Jennifer’s horrified at that. He has the other parts of the farm business than the arable. A lovely home. He’s settled with Ian. He’s stable.

[Jennifer] “That’s all any mother wants.”

Jennifer’s also noticed something else is amiss. Adam’s not just stressed and upset about Brian.

[Jennifer] “I can see it in your face. There is, there’s something troubling you.”

[Adam] “I just can’t do it anymore. If I carry on the way I am, I’ll wreck everything.”

[Jennifer] “You’ve made such a wonderful life here for you and Ian, so why give it up … you’re so precious to me, it’d break my heart if I lost the two of you … don’t do something rash and throw it all away.”

Listen to your mum, Adam.

Though whether Ian will still want you after you tell him about Pavel (which you will) is utterly out of your hands.

What a rubbish birthday for Shula

It started well.

She was just setting off to the Olympics with Alistair and Daniel. Alistair had got tickets for the riding for her Christmas. And Alistair had given her a new handbag for her birthday (today – though Kenton must have had a very, very quiet one indeed as we heard nowt about his!)

Just as they’re about to leave to take the train to London. Reg calls.

[Shula] “Oh no. Not again”

Seems Bunty has had another fall. (Reg and Bunty were Mark’s parents).

What happened next was bizarre.

Shula went to them to help. Their daughter lives in Cornwall, so it’s really down to Shula.

But.

Alistair and Daniel still went to the Olympics, taking Jamie in Shula’s place.

What?

Why on earth didn’t Alistair go to Bunty and Reg’s aid? Or any other of the Archer clan (there’s millions of them!).

To really rub it in. Alistair calls Shula from the Olympics. She can hear cheering on the background.

[Alistair] “If they can’t manage, Joanna will have to look into sheltered accommodation or something … I’m sorry, I’m just upset for you … this was supposed to be your special day.”

[Shula] “It is what it is.”

[Alistair] “Oh Shula I’m sorry. It shouldn’t be up to you”

[Shula] “Well there’s nobody else, is there. As long as you’re all having a good time.”

Ouch.

Alistair can be utterly oblivious sometimes.

Daft man.

David and Ruth to go on holiday

Shocker!

Pip’s back from her holiday. She hasn’t slept for the last 26 hours, so sounds like she had a simply super time!

She had such a super time, she wants David and Ruth to go away and have their own super time. Pip will look after the farm with Josh, (and Eddie, Bert and co keeping an eye), while David and Ruth go off with Ben.

Will they go somewhere exotic?

Probably not.

Pip’s a saint?

Surely not? That would make her Shula’s daughter …

Regardless, Pip’s being rather saint-like:

[Phoebe] “Keith must be terrified … if he’s the one who pointed the finger … they’re going to hate him. They’re pretty scary people.”

[Ruth] “I don’t know, and I don’t care!”

David concurs with Ruth. He’s angry that Keith has got bail.

[David] “What do you have to do to get locked up these days?”

With such empathy, Pip really can’t be from that corner of the Archer stable.

(just jesting. Course she is!)

Jennifer’s trying to work out Mike’s age

She’s seemingly mesmerised by Vicky being pregnant.

Jennifer, Mike’s 63.

Though if you could find put for us what bit of 40 Vicky inhabits, that would be marvellous.

Ruth wouldn’t say no to a ham sandwich

Fair enough.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Mike and Vicky see their baby: Mon 06.08.12

The Archers Monday 6th August 2012

Matt wants to maximise assets
Doesn’t Vicky know about Susan?
Mike’s amazed
Pavel’s going to be a problem?
Listen to Aunty Lilian

Matt wants to maximise assets

Seems that what their accountant has told him to do. Matt and Lilian’s cashflow isn’t holding up to well

Matt reckons it’s because they have one flat empty, No.3 The Green is a charity case (though Lilian reminded him it’s Peggy’s charity that’s helping Elona and Darrell, not theirs), and a couple called the Walters have a (low) long term lease.

So, without Lilian’s agreeing to such action, Matt goes round to the Walters to make them an offer. To no avail.

[Matt] “Those two, they’re like a pair of limpets. The hard you kick, the more they cling on!”

Matt tried to offer them their other empty flat. Which, as Lilian pointed out, is too small. And beneath Jazzer and Harry. Hardly appropriate for an elderly couple.

[Lilian] “Not everything is an opportunity to make a quick buck.”

[Matt] “Well a quick buck wouldn’t go amiss at the moment.”

Everyone needs to be on guard when Matt’s wanting to make a few more pennies …

Doesn’t Vicky know about Susan?

[Vicky] “What with Keith getting arrested … I’ve heard all the stories about Clive, but now Keith as well, it’s like having the Krays as brothers!”

Well, for starter, I wouldn’t put the Horrobins in the league of the Krays. Clive might be as nasty, but hasn’t got the class to match.

But sounds like Vicky is unaware of Susan’s own jailbird past.

Surely not?

But then again, the route of all gossip is Susan. And I suppose she’s not likely to gossip about her own dark secrets.

Mike’s amazed

Mike and Vicky are at their first scan.

[Mike] “I must be twice as age as the next oldest father here, probably wondering what on earth I’m doing here!”

Vicky reminds him that all the other expectant dads are too busy being expectant on their own part to notice him.

Poor Mike. He’s so badly out of his depth, and of another era.

He wasn’t even sure if he’d be allowed into the scan.

[Vicky] “Course you’re allowed. It’s your baby too!”

When they come out of the scan, Vicky’s incredibly giddy. She’s even started talking to her tummy.

[Vicky] “It’s really real, isn’t it … you must have felt it to. It’s like there’s actually a little person in there now!”

[Mike] “You’re right, it’s um, quite something …”

Vicky’s even thinking about names. She likes Dorothy, as her grandmother was called Dot.

[Vicky] “I think it means gift, and this baby’s a gift isn’t it Mike … well, I think so anyway.”

Later on:

[Vicky] “I know this isn’t necessarily what you wanted, but if you can just feel a little bit of what I do, you’d change your mind, you’d be just as thrilled as I am.”

[Mike] “I am! … it’s taken a while to sink in, but look, that’s my son. Or my daughter. It’s amazing. I can’t help it …”

[Vicky] “You were scaring me. I thought you were going to say you didn’t want it”

[Mike] “Don’t fret. I can see what it means to you. I love you. I only want to make you happy.”

So with Mike a happy dad, Vicky wants to tell everyone. But Mike’s not ready.

[Mike] “Give me a chance. One step at a time. I’ve only just got my head round it, I don’t know how they’re going to react … let me choose my moment, alright.”

Hmmm.

Does anyone else detect that Mike’s pondering has been more about what Vicky wants than what he wants?

Pavel’s going to be a problem?

[Pavel] “Adam, you should not look so worried, nobody knows what we talk about … and it’s kind of exciting, yes?”

[Adam] “No … I feel bad enough already. Look, I’m not blaming you, you’re a very sweet guy, but you’re right, I am your boss, it’s just not appropriate.”

But Pavel doesn’t understand the word “appropriate”. Quite literally.

Pavel seemed to be okay with Adam not exactly wanting to cuddle after their adult intimacy, but has he understood that Adam doesn’t want it to happen again?

Will he become bunny boiling material?

Or, does Adam protest too much? Pavel over Ian?!?

Listen to Aunty Lilian

Lilian interrupts Adam talking to Pavel. Adam sends Pavel off to work.

[Adam] “Sorry about that Lilian, staffing problems.”

(ahem!)

[Lilian] “It must be a nice problem to have. I don’t know how you keep your hands to yourself!”

(double ahem!)

Lilian’s worried about Adam, and has just been to see Jennifer, who’s even more worried about Adam. She’s also spoken to Ian:

[Lilian] “He told me you disappeared. Don’t tell me there’s nothing more to it …. Come on, it’s time for a chat with your aunty Lil.”

Adam has no choice. Time for Lilian to make sense of his life for him.

[Lilian] “I’d go stark raving mad if you and Ian leave Ambridge.”

[Adam] “I have to do what’s right for me.”

(note it’s “me” and not ‘we’ …)

Lilian tells him that family and home get ever more important as one gets older. Something to value and stick around for:

[Adam] “Well I don’t feel very valued at the moment.”

Adam tells Lilian that Ian has said he’ll move.

[Lilian] “I just find it hard to believe it’s what he really wants … There’s no point in running off to pastures news if it just makes Ian miserable instead.”

Fair point.

But will Adam listen?

Does Adam even care what does or doesn’t make Ian miserable anymore?

After all they’ve been through, even thinking of Adam’s recent 3 day coma, you’d think Ian would figure a bit more in Adam’s mind.

But seems not.

One can only hope that knock on the head affected Adam’s common sense. He’ll hopefully come back too before it’s too late.