Pondering The Archers: christine barford

Jim to be published, Mike to be famous

Borchester Life has said yes to Jim’s article about Mike. Indeed, they’ve said yes to a series of similar articles.

[Jim] “Workmanlike and accessible … so you see, I have got the common touch.”

Christine admits she goaded Jim into doing the article:

[Jim] “Well, to use Jazzer’s vernacular, I’m gobsmacked.”

Cheese scones

[Christine] “Have you bought the paper … then we can tackle the crossword over a cheese scone.”

[Jim] “Temptress.”

And after they’d had their scones:

[Jim] “The scones are revelatory today .”

Phew!

Such fiery flirting!

Will and Ed argue

That’s more familiar territory for them. I always had the feeling their cease fire was quite strained.

Will goes to Ed and Emma’s to tackle them about George suffering due to their poverty.

[Will] “Personally, I wouldn’t care if you lived in the gutter, but it’s affecting George …I am, not having him go hungry because of you pride.”

[Ed] “You're overstepping the mark!”

[Will] “I’m putting George first, which is something you’ll never do.”

Will then drops the bombshell that he and Nic think George should spend more nights at theirs.

[Will] “ … be happier knowing his tummy was full more often … He’s not safe with you. You can’t look after him properly … It’s good at least one of us can provide for him, since he’s living like a pauper here … you’ve got no self-respect, you never have had!”

[Ed] “You know what, I hope this shoot collapses and you lose your previous job … your smug little world come crashing round your ears!!!”

Lilian picks a good DVD

Seems James is up and about now.

And he’s feeling grateful to Lilian. He even thanked her for getting him a good DVD (after being highly critical of Lilian and Matt’s collection).

[Lilian] “That just goes to show how the men in this household underestimate me.”

Paul and Lilian flirt

And in a rather more serious manner than Christine and Jim …

Paul called Lilian while she was in her bedroom for a wee lie down. Paul was in a B&B bedroom.

Lilian asked him what his room was like:

[Lilian] “So I can picture you in it.”

Oo-er!

Seems the wonderful DVD Lilian had got for James was chosen by Paul … so Lilian isn’t as entirely independently wonderful as she made out.

Paul asks Lilian what her favourite film is.

Steel Magnolias was Lilian’s reply.

(really? I thought Barbarella, or the like, would be more Lilian’s style)

Wow.

Those two are most definitely in the opening stages of a relationship. Wonder how fare Lilian will let it get to this time.

Daniel wants an internship in America

Interesting.

If he does do, we’ll have to start taking bets on how many years it’ll be until he returns.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The Bull has a pub quiz: Fri 05.10.12

The Archers Friday 5th October

Seemingly Gobshite isn’t in The Times cryptic crossword
Matt and Lilian are still arguing
No-one will play with David
Plans for Apple Day
Rhys can’t stay away
Derek Fletcher has a wig?
Tom still has no kitchen

Seemingly Gobshite isn’t in The Times cryptic crossword

Jim really isn’t impressed with Jazzer trying to help him and Christine with their crossword.

His rather ridiculous suggestions have simply spoiled their routine.

But Jazzer’s routines certainly haven’t been spoiled by living with Jim.

[Jazzer] “A lot of women would pass out if I gave them a compliment.”

Aye. Still the same ego driven, bordering on sexist, Jazzer McCreary.

And it would seem Jazzer’s charisma has won round Jim.

[Jim] “In some ways I find Jazzer quite … admirable … if you consider, he’s never had the advantages we had … he wishes his father had stayed around.”

Jazzer’s also told him that his mum had numerous boyfriends. And that his brothers encourage him to mischief.

[Jim] “But where it might have crushed most people’s spirit, he’s retained a real spark … he has a genuine thirst to find out how the world works.”

[Christine] “Up to a point …”

Jazzer’s ploy of asking for a book about Greek Mythology seems to have worked wonders on Jim. He’s now under the impressions that Jazzer is an “avid reader.”

Hmmm.

How long before Jazzer truly reveals himself, horrifying Jim in every way possible?

Maybe will take a while.

Jazzer certainly seems to have the measure of Jim

[Jazzer] “You have to steer him off roman poetry and crosswords before you fall asleep .”

Matt and Lilian are still arguing

Which begs the questions why on earth Matt even bothered with the Paris trip.

He was obviously worried about Paul being back in the village, but hasn’t kept up with spoiling Lilian, reminding her why she’s with him.

No-one will play with David

David’s taken a rare night away from the farm to take part in The Bull quiz.

But he’s having trouble joining a team.

Joe, Bert and Bob Pullen don’t want him.

[David] “They are holding out for Derek Fletcher … it would break a lesser man.”

[Tom] “They must be expecting a song from the shows round. He always cleans up on that.”

So David eventually joins Brenda and Tom.

[Brenda] “Oh please, we’re absolutely desperate!”

Well, that’s not quite a compliment.

Plans for Apple Day

They’ll be demonstrating the cider press. Showing photos of the Community Orchard, how it came to be. Bobbing for apples. And an apple and spoon race.

Sounds marvellous!

(I kid you not)

Rhys can’t stay away

It’s his night off, but Rhys is in The Bull. He reckons he wants a pint and some company.

More to do with Fallon that company, plural?

Derek Fletcher has a wig?

Everyone reckons so.

Seems it’s not as discreet as he’d like it to be …

Tom still has no kitchen

The rent’s too high on the unit next to him.

[Tom] “I’ve got a ticking clock on my first order for ready meals, and no idea where I’m going to make them.”

Wish I could feel sorry for Tom.

But I can’t.

I still wish him every bit of bad luck going (the odious little creep!)

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Lynda’s spinning lama wool: Wed 03.10.12

The Archers Wednesday 3rd October 2012

A baby blanket made of lama wool
Vicky cries for her daughter
Jazzer moves in with Jim
Comparing Ifty to Tom
Alice could get a job
Fallon’s feeling lonely

A baby blanket made of lama wool

Is what Lynda’s making for Vicky.

[Lynda] “There’s quite an art to spinning and knitting with Lama wool … as the yarn twists, my own tension seems to unwind.”

But, as Lynda then moves on to explaining casting (in great detail), Vicky starts to cry.

But it’s not that she now has to pretend to like a lama blanket (actually, I would quite like one of those) … it’s far more serious than that.

Vicky cries for her daughter

While at work today, Vicky was shown pictures of her work mate’s daughter.

The daughter is one of those who have done very worthy things, all around the world. Volunteered to help children abroad, and all that.

[Vicky] “My little girl’s never going to do that, is she any of it. Travelling on her own. Seeing the world.”

[Lynda] “Oh Vicky, she might travel. And even if she doesn’t think of the things she will do. She might be an actress, or love painting ....”

[Vicky] “No matter how much I care for her and love her, she’ll never be able to fly the nest like that.”

[Lynda] “No, not quite, but she can become very independent.”

[Vicky] “She’s not even born yet and so many doors are slamming shut.”

[Lynda] “But Vicky, she’s very lucky to have a mother like you, who will do her damndest to push a lot of them open again.”

[Vicky] “I can’t change how my little girl is …”

Well, Vicky will have been thinking it. So probably best she’s able to talk it through with a friend.

We left her and Lynda sobbing …

Jazzer moves in with Jim

Christine’s first night with Jazzer was not a happy one.

(for ‘with’ don’t read anything into it … ‘with’ as in in the same house with, rather than ‘with’ with …)

Seems Christine is a light sleeper, and was woken by Jazzer as he left early hours for work.

[Jazzer] “I’m sorry about that. It’s poor thanks for a favour.”

So, Jim steps in.

Jazzer doesn’t seem like he’s bothered about where he stays. I’ve still no idea why he can’t stay with his mum …

[Jazzer] “I get my ain key?”

[Jim] “Unless you intent to teleport yourself in …”

Jim’s rules are that there’s no smoking, even in the garden. No guests. And no loud music.

[Jim] “As long as we treat each other with respect and due consideration at all times, I’m sure we’ll get on well.”

Jazzer’s out to impress from the off.

Before he retires for the night, he asks to borrow a book on Greek Myths.

What a sook!

Comparing Ifty to Tom

Kirsty seems to becoming “an item” with Ifty.

She’s enjoying being with him. It’s seemingly easy.

In fact, the last time she connected this way with a bloke was Tom …

… really?

Tom, easy to be with?

Alice could get a job

If she gets her degree.

But at least she has the job offer on the table. A development engineer with an aircraft equipment supplier.

Sounds well paid.

Fallon’s feeling lonely

[Kirsty] “Where’s the party girl gone, Fallon?”

[Fallon] “I dunno, the whole world just seems to go round in pairs … these day I’d much rather be in a relationship that means something, then just settle for a quick thrill. At the moment, the only way that’s going to happen is if I buy myself a cat.”

All together now … Rhys!!!

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Jazzer moves in with Christine: Tues 02.10.12

The Archers Tuesday 2nd October 2012

Jim helps distract Bella
Shula’s still looking after Reg and Bunty
Jim wants to prove Christine wrong
Jazzer emotionally blackmails Christine …
I agree with Tom
Tom Archer’s wants to expand

Jim helps distract Bella

Alistair is tending to one a horse, using Jim to distract her while he works.

Jim’s distraction technique is to look at her …

… interesting.

Anyhoo, it seemed to work. Though it seems Jim is not a natural when it comes to horses.

[Jim] “I hope you enjoyed my discomfort.”

Shula’s still looking after Reg and Bunty

She was away shopping for them today.

That must still be a real strain.

Jim wants to prove Christine wrong

Christine’s plan of challenging Jim into writing articles for Borchester Life seems to have worked.

(why did Christine feel the need to get involved? I’m not sure. She either wants to help Jim find something to occupy himself so that he feels more fulfilled – or she wants Jim to find something to occupy himself so that he isn’t always round hers, eating the biscuits).

So, Jim is now determined to:

[Jim] “Show Christine I'm not the desiccated academic she sometimes takes me for.”

He’s talking to Alistair about how he’ll need to select an “interesting” Ambridge person to write about.

[Jim] “And then I thought of you … I hoped you might suggest someone.”

(meow!)

Jim would like to interview a craftsman or an artists (rather than a vet, obviously). He wondered whether Maurice Horton would be the chap – him being a master butcher, and all that.

[Alastair] “No, he’s a lovely chap, but people read Borchester Life for a light read, not existential angst.”

Jim then wonders about Mike.

He has the micro dairy. And manages the woods.

But, as we all know, Mike has quite a lot to contend with at the moment.

[Jim] “Is it really the right time to ask him?”

[Alastair] “I’d be glad to talk about something else for once, instead of having to focus on becoming a father again the whole time.”

Jazzer emotionally blackmails Christine …

Well, not quite outright, but not very subtly neither.

He passes by Christine’s, and just so happens to mention that he’s off to a homeless shelter.

Seems Matt has thrown him out.

Christine is horrified.

[Jazzer] “Don’t fash yourself, it’s only for a day or two.”

Jazzer wants to leave a bag at hers, and also begs a cup of tea.

Over tea, and some of Christine’s marvellous home baked biscuits, Christine wonders why Jazzer hasn’t gone to a friend’s house.

[Jazzer] “I can’t just land myself on a friend's doorstep and hope they’ve got a decent heart, can?”

Erm, I suppose not.

(But what about his mum’s? She doesn’t live that far away, and was fine enough for Jazzer before he moved in with Harry. Everyone seems to have forgotten that …)

So, Jazzer turns the charm, and begs a three night stay at Christine’s. He reckons she won’t even know she’s there, what with him being up so early, and out at work. Jazzer paints himself as the person house guest.

[Jazzer] “Apart from my wee obsession … tidying up after maeself!!”

(ha!)

Christine being Christine, her charity and hospitality is too strong to say no to him.

So, Jazzer settles in at Christine’s … biscuits, then pork and tatties.

Cheeky monkey.

Though Christine regrets marking Jazzer comfortable almost as soon as he settles.

[Christine] “I know. I keep asking myself how it happened.”

[Jim] “Hypnosis.”

[Christine] “But he's driving me crackers already. He’s virtually emptied the fridge.”

AND he finished the biscuits.

Though not to worry. Jim reckons he has a plan …

I agree with Tom

Talking about the Christmas show, Tom reckons he’d have been happy with a “proper panto.”

I do hate to agree with him … but hear, hear!

Tom Archer’s wants to expand

Again.

Ignoring that Brenda ran screaming (on the excuse of getting printer ink) from the Dower house because of Matt and Lilian’s rows, Tom’s rambling on yet again about business.

He still needs a kitchen to fulfil his ready meal orders. The unit next to where he does his sausages (and the like) has come up, which he reckons would be perfect.

But, he can’t afford the unit until he makes money from the ready meals. And he can’t make the ready meals without the unit.

[Brenda] “Your first priority is flexibility.”

Well, not Tom’s strong point. Though Brenda has a good point that he shouldn’t tie himself down with too much cost. Tom reckons he needs to push on, Brenda’s worried he’ll go bust.

[Tom] “I’ll be in total control! … it'd put the Tom Archer brand in a great place to expand.”

Odds on Tom ignoring Brenda’s very sensible advice.

Why is he so surprised that she’s not that keen to marry him?

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Matt and Lilian, en Paris: Fri 28.09.12

The Archers Friday 28th September 2012

Matt loves Lilian
Christine feels sorry for Jazzer
Rhys and Fallon to star in the Christmas Extravaganza?
Christine’s winding up Jim
Joe’s teeth are on the beer mat
Jim’s not impressed with Much Ado

Matt loves Lilian

[Lilian] “Taking a tour of Paris in a chauffeured 2 CV, how wonderfully ridiculous!”

Lilian is loving her time in Paris with Matt.

[Matt] “This trip is about pure pleasure.”

Matt’s really pulling out every stop.

[Matt] “We forget to say how much we love each to each other. This is my way of saying it.”

Ah, if only that was Matt’s only motive. Paul’s return is more likely …

But Lilian seems to have fallen for it. She’s having a ball, and remembering all the good things in life.

[Matt] “Am I one of the good guys. You do know that, Lilian.”

Indeed she does.

She suggests they return to their hotel room, quick sharp.

Wonder if Paris will be enough to keep Matt in Lilian’s mind above Paul?

Christine feels sorry for Jazzer

[Christine] “At least we have homes, I saw Jazzer this morning.”

Hmmm.

Christine did seem to enjoy Jazzer’s company the other day.

I wonder ...

Rhys and Fallon to star in the Christmas Extravaganza?

Seems one can’t move around Ambridge for catching sight of one of Lynda’s poster advertising the Christmas Shakespearian Extravaganza auditions.

As Fallon and Rhys relax and listen to records (well, probably downloads, rather than records), they both admit they’re going to audition for the Christmas show.

Harry and Fallon, but with Rhys and Fallon?

We think they’re falling for each other … they kiss … then … nothing …

Surely not?

Not after Fallon’s made Rhys a mixed tape (well, CD) for his journey back home for a visit.

That’s proper commitment, that is.

Christine’s winding up Jim

Christine and Jim are again talking about Borchester Life magazine.

Christine seems to have changed her tune. She now thinks writing for the magazine might not be right for Jim after all.

[Christine] “Is a touch beyond … well, maybe it’s just not you.”

[Jim] “I certainly like to think I’m a man whose words appeal to a wider market.”

Ah, gauntlet thrown. Jim’s bound to do it now!

Joe’s teeth are on the beer mat

Seems they’re still giving him gip.

Jim’s not impressed with Much Ado

[Jim] “Explores the obstacles to young love, and the merry war between the sexes … a fuss about not lot.”

Joe concurs.

[Joe] “I don’t want to watch men, in tights, kissing in the village hall … good old fashioned blood and gore, that would be worth buying a ticket for!”

(begs the question about what venue would Joe prefer to watch men, in tights, kissing)

Ruth is described as a “trailblazer”: Mon 24.09.12

The Archers Monday 24th September 2012

Still not enough bread at Ed and Emma’s
Matt doesn’t impress Jim
Jim has nothing to do
Why did Emma need to scrub the oven so hard?
Who is an interesting Ambridge figure?

Still not enough bread at Ed and Emma’s

Quite literally.

George had the last of the bread last night, so Ed can’t have any this morning.

Poor Ed.

But to add insult to injury – George now wants to do karate. Which means having to pay for them. With money they don’t have.

Ed wants to ask the Karate folks if they can pay in instalments, but Emma’s furious at that suggestions. She wants their money woes kept private.

However – Emma then later asks Ruth for an advance on her cleaning wages (so that she can then pay for all of George’s karate lessons in one go).

Which isn’t a very private way to get ready money. Surely Ruth will twig?

Ed concurs that it wasn’t a good idea. As well as more folks guessing their financial situation:

[Ed] “You’ll be working for nothing for the next two weeks.”

Technically not – but his point is fair.

[Emma] “Tell me it wasn’t worth it to see his face light up like that?”

Hmmm.

[Emma] “Ed, we’re okay, aren’t we … you and me against the world?”

[Ed] “Yeah, like it’s always been”

Now, I know it’s important that kids do stuff out with school and their home.

But is karate lessons really a priority when there’s not even enough bread to eat?

Matt doesn’t impress Jim

Matt roars by in his car, shocking Christine.

Jim’s advice for Matt (though not said to his face) is that he needs to think about “Truly being something rather than just merely seeming something” …

[Jim] “Otherwise no good will come of that man, you mark my words.”

[Christine] “I’m sorry to say that I do sometimes Lilian had chosen a more suitable companion.”

Steady on Christine! That was close to an insult.

Jim has nothing to do

[Jim] “Since the heady excitement of the Flower and Produce show, I’ve had a bit of a come down.”

Jim found the challenge of building his roman oven to have been very rewarding, and also “sparked a degree of local interest”.

[Jim] “Now that’s waned, there seems to be a rather significant hole in my day.”

Aw, bless Jim.

He needs something to do AND have everyone noticing him doing it.

At least he’s honest.

And at least he’s got coffee with Christine.

[Jim] “I’ve been feeling rather under stimulated, intellectually.”

Not only does Jim not having anything to do, he’s also unsatisfied about the local magazine, Borchester Life. It just full of adverts and sponsored events.

[Jim] “With an occasional article about the local countryside to level the dross.”

Wonder why Jim is picking on a magazine ….

… surprise! Christine suggests that he could talk to the editor (Glen Whitehouse) to do a series of articles about “interesting figures” in the local area.

That would have been my first suggestion as well (!).

Why did Emma need to scrub the oven so hard?

Surely the Brookfield oven isn’t used very often?

Who is an interesting Ambridge figure?

Now that Jim has a plan, he just needs to pick who should be the focus of his first article.

He and Christine are outside, when they spot Ruth.

Of course! Everyone knows that Ruth was “one of the original trailblazers for women in farming”.

[Jim] “In many people's eyes, you are a local pioneer .. I believe your story could enlighten and inspire others.”

[Ruth] “I don’t know Jim, I love me work, but I’m happy to just be getting on with it.”

So it’s a no.

Is it just me – or are Jim and Christine behaving rather oddly?

What is she putting in her Dundee cake …

Jazzer and Christine: Mon 17.09.12

The Archers Monday 17th September 2012

Was Christine flirting with Jazzer?
Darrell takes the floor boards up
Brian and Jennifer are genuinely supportive

Was Christine flirting with Jazzer?

Jazzer happens to be passing Christine’s when she’s struggling to get an armchair out of her front door. She was coping, and had managed to wedge it in.

[Jazzer] “I think that was the problem. You were pushing when you were pulling.”

Christine invites Jazzer in for tea and toast. Jazzer’s most delighted to accept:

[Jazzer] “As long as that bread isn’t a present from Jim!”

My word – Jazzer really is still smarting about losing the Flower and Produce Show – losing the bread competition to Oliver (and Jim, who came in second).

He’s still insistent he shouldn’t have been disqualified – bread from a bread maker is still bread. Christine admits she also uses one.

[Jazzer] “Ah, there you see, if a respectable church going woman like you uses one …”

As they chat, Christine admits that she’s never been to see a stand-up comedian. Jim’s quite insistent she goes to see the forthcoming one (Tug Flower) at The Bull.

[Christine] “Jim’s trying to broaden my horizons.”

[Jazzer] “He’s tried that on me a couple of times but it hasn’t worked yet, but.”

(I have wondered about Jazzer’s rather over emphasised Scottish accent before. He’s obviously doing it to show off to his Sassenach pals, and it can often lead to him wandering through different Scottish accents and phrases. Using “but” at the end of a sentence is very much an Edinburgh habit. I thought Jazzer was most decidedly West Coast …)

When Jazzer mentions that he’s struggling for a flatmate, Christine said she’d move in, if she didn’t already have a home. Christine sounded quite genuine (and wistful) as she said it.

Could you just imagine what Christine and Jazzer living together would look like …

Christine also mentioned that she thought Jazzer was such a “strong, helpful young man”.

Sounds like a crush to me …

… Ambridge does Mrs Robinson?

*shudder*

Darrell takes the floor boards up
The pressure of Matt Vs Darrell’s morals Vs Rosa’s scooter seems to have driven Darrell slightly potty.

He’s finally doing Matt’s bidding (to inconvenience Arthur and Joyce to the point they move out, by lifting up the floorboards, and leaving them). But he’s doing so will still accepting the tea, cake and chat from Arthur and Joyce.

That’s not very nice. And not very like Darrell. Who is generally a nice chap.

He was even starting to annoy the unflappable Arthur.

Darrell has the upstairs landing up, and also the toilet. With Joyce’s hips, she won’t be able to get anywhere upstairs, including the toilet.

Darrell presses on regardless.

I suppose he also does have a washing machine off, so he must have decided to toughen up and get the money in.

Brian and Jennifer are genuinely supportive

Now that’s a rare thing indeed …

Mike called to say he’d be round to talk to them.

Though they were at first laughing about what Vicky’s christening invitations would look like (probably something tied to a teddy bear, reckoned Jennifer).

After Mike has been. Jennifer and Brian are a bit stunned. They wish they’d been pre-warned so that they could prepare.

[Jennifer] “ … then you might not have said what you said.”

[Brian] “Well I did my best. What are you supposed to say at a time like that?”

[Jennifer] “Well, not ‘my dear chap, I’m so sorry’ …”

[Brian] “Well, I’m not sorry the baby has Down’s Syndrome, I am of course … I wanted Mike to know how sorry I am for all the worry and heart ache they’re in for.”

Aye, I know what Brian means. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but not judging their baby for being any less a baby because it has a condition. What a minefield.

[Jennifer] “I just kept thinking, there but for the grace of god … I was 43 was Alice was born.”

And they both obviously have experience of being an older parent, because of Ruairi.

They reckon Vicky and Mike have a “long road” ahead of them. They’ll be there to give them all the support they need.

Neil was quite right.

Vicky and Mike certainly aren’t alone.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Lynda offended by yellow 29.05.12

The Archers Tuesday 29th May 2012

Susan and Vicky talk Jubilee
The kids practice for the Jubilee
Maypole abused by Alf Grundy
Vicky wants to retire?
Amy thinks Carl wasn’t married
Alice bakes a cake
It’s Lynda’s birthday
The horror!

Susan and Vicky talk Jubilee

They seem to be cutting out pictures of The Queen as they’re working in the village shop:

[Vicky] “I can’t help thinking we’re missing a golden opportunity to put the phone box on the map”

[Susan] “A diamond opportunity!”

[Vicky] “My great aunt Nellie had a Welsh corgi, it used to sleep on the bed … Hey, how about we wrap it in Clingfilm, like that artist?””

[Susan] “It’s not a packed lunch Vicky, and how would people get in and out?”

[Vicky] “I’m just thinking outside the box”

[Susan] “We can use some of the decorations we used when Camilla visited”

[Vicky] “Oh come on, we want more pizazz than that!”

Ah bless them and their idle chatter.

The kids practice for the Jubilee

[Vicky] “That tunes getting on my wick”

Vicky is not amused by Lynda and the Village kids (not people, mind) constantly practising their Jubilee maypole dancing. Mainly because they’re doing so on the village green, which the village shops faces onto. As it’s too hot to close their door, Vicky has to suffer hearing their maypole music over and over and over …

Lynda also doesn’t seem to be having much luck with the kids getting any better.

[Lynda] “Lift your knees everyone, I want skippity skip, not clumpty clump … what an unfit bunch …”

Seems that Tracey’s Brad is causing particular mayhem:

[Lynda] “Brad, he’s an anarchist … if he frightens Molly Button with his rat again on Sunday, he’s not getting his jubilee commemoration mug”

Brad will be devastated, I’m sure. Lynda tells us that she still treasurers her Coronation mug. In has “pride of place in our downstairs loo”.

Maypole abused by Alf Grundy

[Susan] “Alf Grundy set light when he was young, apparently. Went up like a giant cigar, Eddie said”

Vicky wants to retire?

What’s Vicky most looking forward to during the Jubilee?

[Vicky] “The best thing is having such a long time off work”

She then later mentioned that she was finding the drive to and from Felpersham twice a week for work a bit if a frustration. She reckons it “upsets her rhythm”.

Sounds like someone does want to work anymore …

Amy thinks Carl wasn’t married

Amy’s on about Usha to Alice yet again. But is at least now looking at flats in Felpersham. Alongside ending the constant bickering, it’s also time Amy moved up and out.

Amy is also starting to question whether Usha was right about Carl. She thinks that Alan brought her up to be a good judge of character.

[Amy] “The more I think about it, I've been given second hand information. I don’t think he’s married at all”

Ach, that girl is just silly.

[Amy] “It may be a marriage of convenience … they must have fallen out of love for hi, to behave the way he did for me ... maybe he stayed out of loyalty, or just for show …what do you think?”

[Alice] “I think I don’t want you hurt”

She thinks Usha has an agenda. Though what Usha would gain from Amy going out with a married man is anyone’s guess.

Alice bakes a cake

For Brian and Jennifer’s 36th wedding anniversary.

[Alice] “Mum and dad have been through some dodgy times but hey, they belong together”

And she’ll be making one of the sponges for the giant WI jubilee cake.

It’s Lynda’s birthday

She got a new straw hat. Robert’s taking her out for a meal. And Christine invites her round for tea and a scone.

The horror!

Lynda’s pleasantly surprised by the effort Adam and Ian have made with their garden for Britain in Bloom.

[Lynda] “Oh they’ve done spectacularly well to create a cottage garden from a standing start.”

[Christine] “Curtosey of the garden centre … Adam found it very therapeutic”

Lynda I also very impressed by Jim’s experiment – he’s grown vegetables in with his plants (chard, beetroot, and globe artichokes to be exact).

Then, Lynda, Christine and Jim walk up to No. 8 Glebeland.

[Lynda] “How could they possibly do such a thing … yellow!”

[Christine] “A whole garden thrugh of them”

[Lynda] “This is appalling, They’ve driven a coach and horses through the red white and blue motif”

[Christine] “I don’t know who lives here … I think they’re commuters … do you think they’re republicans … really Jim, I don’t think you realised just how upset she as going to be”

[Jim] “Plating yellow flowers is hardly a capital offense … Britain has a fine tradition of disobedience. It keeps our democracy alive, my dear”

[Christine] “Don’t you ‘my dear’ me. I’d rather have the queen as head of state any date over some sleazy politician!”

[Jim] “A democratically elected sleazy politician …”

[Christine] “I think I’ll head back. I don’t like to miss the news”

[Jim] “Oops …”

Friday, 23 March 2012

Jim concerns a tie shop assistant 20.02.12

The Archers Tuesday 20th March 2012

Let Brian eat cake!
Andrew is a “silly man”
The bees need sugar syrup
Bert’s sorting Susan’s garden
Jim accosts Christine (again)
Alice is going to get an Easter egg
Brian and cricket
The village shop aggressively sells to kids
Brookfield back on an even keel in 3 years

Let Brian eat cake!

As there’s no biscuits.

Andrew is a “silly man”

According to Jennifer.

Andrew Eagleton is on the BL board. Seems he’s panicking about all of the bad publicity about the Super Dairy, and wants to table a resolution for it to be withdrawn as a project.

[Jennifer] “Oh the silly man. He’s just panicking unnecessarily, surely”

Brian reckons not. Andrew has also got Martin Gibson concerned.

But there’s more.

[Brian] “Even some of our loyal customers are fed up of driving past the protestors, and are thinking of going somewhere else”

Brian’s panicking, so calls Debbie.

[Debbie] “I won’t let that happen … Leave it with me dad”

[Brian] “If we’re going to save this project, we need to do some sharp thinking”

(I still find it odd that Debbie calls Brian dad, by the way)

The bees need sugar syrup

Oh I do (genuinely) love Jill and her bees.

She was checking their food stocks today, and reckoned.

[Jill] “A couple of the hives do feel a bit light”

So she left them some sugar syrup on the brood box.

Ah.

Lucky bees.

(though I have no idea what a brood box is)

Bert’s sorting Susan’s garden

Doe the promise auction Susan won.

Though Ruth’s not so sure that it’s a good idea:

[Ruth] “Susan’s quite proud of her garden, Isn’t she?”

[Jill] “Yes, I hope she doesn’t take his suggestions the wrong way!”

But turns out it wasn’t Susan offended by Bert telling her what to do. It was the other way round.

[Ruth] “He came back most disgruntled, instead of helping her to design and create a fantastic garden for Ambridge View, he was up to his elbows in weeds and a bit of old pram at number 6 The Green”

Crafty.

That’s one way of getting Bert, Gary and Tracey’s garden sorted without Neil having to do it.

Jim accosts Christine (again)

[Jill on Christine] “Between you and me Ruth, she’s a bit worried at the moment … well, it’s Jim. He was a bit effusive in complimenting her last week … that her perfume smelt alluring”

[Ruth] “Alluring, you’re joking! Does that mean there’s a December romance in the offing?”

And they both have a good laugh at Christine and Jim’s expense … which wasn’t very nice of them.

Later on:

[Jennifer] “Oh, here comes Jim!”

[Christine] “Oh dear …”

[Jim] “Christine, just the woman I need. I have something quite important to ask you … it’s about a phone call of some consequence I need to make this afternoon, and I need you to be present, if you don’t mind … it’d make a chap very happy”

So Christine, very uncomfortably, agrees.

Later on:

[Jim] “As it was such a nice afternoon, I thought it’d be nice to do this out of doors … are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin”

So, he calls someone to pay them a compliment.

[Jim, on the phone] “It was a very rewarding retail experience … of course I am, perfectly serious … unexpectedly knowledgeable on the subject of ties”

It sounded like the person on the other end of the phone hung up, but Jim just reckoned it was a bad connection due to them being in the garden.

Christine is perplexed.

[Christine] “I’m sorry Jim, you called me over to listen to a phone call to a tie shop?”

[Jim] “Gentleman’s outfitter, if you please”

Jim then records the compliment he has just given, and asks Christine to sign his book as a witness.

As she does so, she notices her name, and his compliment about her perfume, on the opposite page.

Ah. The penny drops. And Christine now gladly accepts lemonade from Jim.

Later on:

[Christine] “You’ll never guess what Jim had me doing this afternoon …”

[Jill] “That sounds intriguing!”

[Christine] “Not in the way you or me were thinking!”

Christine’s relieved, and quite tickled about Jim’s antics.

[Christine] “The poor boy in the tie shop this afternoon clearly thought he was bonkers”

Ach well. There’s nothing like a good old British farce to help us into Spring.

Alice is going to get an Easter egg

Jennifer is going to buy her one to cheer her up while she’s studying so hard.

Oh, and she also mentions she might get one for Ruairi.

Wee mite that he is.

Brian and cricket

I didn’t think that Brian was that interested in Ambridge Cricket club. But Jennifer seems to think the start of the season will help him relax.

She also mentioned that Jamie had asked Adam to help coach the youth team, but seems he’s too busy. Adam is going to ask a friend (in Yorkshire of all places, Christine was very surprised to hear … how odd of her).

The village shop aggressively sells to kids

Even Jill is in on the act.

She wants to get the Easter eggs out on display specifically before the school bus gets back in.

[Jill] “A suggestion from Lynda, she’s a great believer in pester power … not that that’d come to a surprise to anyone who knows her”

Brookfield back on an even keel in 3 years

So reckons the consultant.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Jim makes a play for Christine 16.03.12

(or so it seems)

The Archers Friday 16th March 2012

Now Tom’s harassing Helen
It’s all Greek to Helen
Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better
More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination
Jim worries Christine
Kylie says yes

Now Tom’s harassing Helen

About phoning Kylie. Which she has done, but Kylie has called back as yet.

Does that boy never learn?

Leave folks be to do their best, in their own time.

Or, do it yourself.

It’s all Greek to Helen

Kylie does call Helen back. She’s been busy getting an essay in on time. One on Greek Tragedy.

[Helen] “Gosh, that sounds pretty hard!”

Helen really does need to get out more. She’s staring to sound like a bit of a dim, as well as a dull, young lady.

Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better.

So Jill announces.

[Jill] “I’m glad Benson is getting better … he seems to bring out her softer side”

[Christine] “You mean she’s got one?”

More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination

Seems Oliver is managing to persuade more farmers to sign up.

Good man.

Jim worries Christine

[Jim] “Hmm, what a lovely scent … it’s you Christine. It must be your perfume”

Jill concurs that Christine is wearing nice perfume. But Jim takes it further.

[Jim] “Indeed it is. Most alluring”

Over coffee and cakes, Christine is too distracted to hear Jill talking about how glad she is that Brookfield is keeping its cows.

[Christine] “It’s Jim, I’m afraid … what he said … to me … he’s complimented me before, of course, on my cooking. He’s always praised my scones …

"the problem is what he said earlier wasn’t about my cooking, was it, it was about me … Jim’s never complimented me about anything like that before …

"never on anything personal or anything that you might call womanly about me … but today saying my perfume was alluring!”

[Jill, getting excited at the prospect of a romance] “Ooh Chris!”

[Christine] “No no. It’s not good Jill. I like Jim a lot of course I do. We get on well, we’re great friends. That’s as far as it goes for me. What if he’s started getting other ideas”

Ah well done Alan! You may have got Jim to do something for lent, but it could cost Jim one of his most precious friendships.

(I know – we all know they’ll sort it out)

Kylie says yes

During their phone call, Helen tells Kylie about Tony’s heart attack. Kylie shocked and worried to hear about it.

(she is a nice lass)

[Helen] “I’ll be totally honest. What he’s been thinking about is Rich … now what’s praying on dad’s mind is he has a grandson who doesn’t even know he exists … I’m sorry to load this onto you …”

She tells Kylie that she wants to arrange for Rich to get to know his grandparents properly. Kylie is at first worried that Helen wants her to tell Rich, but Helen is merely after a face-to-face with Sharon. Which will take Kylie to help arrange.

Later to Tom:

[Helen] “She said something I hadn’t even though of. About Ivy … she only realised how sad that made her feel at Ivy’s funeral”

[Tom] “Well that’s a shame. But helpful to use, I suppose”

Indeed.

Kylie’s agreed to talk to Sharon to at least meet with Helen.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Joe drives a hard bargain 09.02.12

The Archers Thursday 9th February 2012

Lemon cake works wonders for Joe
Pat made The Echo
Alistair puts business before Topper
Why isn’t Joe Grundy a millionaire?
Ed on a badger course in June
Eddie isn’t donating a water feature (by the way)
The theme for Britain in Bloom

Lemon cake works wonders for Joe

Joe reckons he has a chill on his chest, so has been stopping in.

But Jim tempts Joe over to his house with lemon cake. And Joe also gets his request for a drop of booze to liven up his tea … Jim must be after something!

Pat made The Echo

With a seemingly great picture of herself and Shelly Brazil at the Ambridge Organics launch.

Pat having good press contacts will come in handy when Pat tackles the Super Dairy through the front pages.

Alistair puts business before Topper

Shula tells Alistair that she wants to buy Topper.

She’d buy him through the business, and use him for teaching and the like.

[Shula] “It wouldn’t be a waste of money .. I’m worried for Freddie”

But Alistair reckons they can’t afford it.

[Shula] “It’s not as is we’re really badly off, we’re lucky compared to some”

[Alistair] “I don’t mean to be brutal, but at the end of the day it has to be a business decision. It just doesn’t make sense”

Oh dear.

Business Vs emotional attachment.

My money is on Shula winning this one.

Why isn’t Joe Grundy a millionaire?

With his talents at haggling, one would have thought he’d have made a fortune years ago.

Jim’s new plan for trying to work out fair allocation of the cider made from the community orchard apples is to start off with trying to find out what percentage the Grundys want.

So he asks Joe if they’ll take 10%.

Joe nearly chokes on his tea.

[Joe] “That cider is part of our livelihood, that is!”

[Jim] “What would you say to 20%?”

[Joe] “I’d tell you, pull your head down from them clouds … 20%, you don’t live in the real world … There wouldn’t be on orchard without us Grundys … I’m sorry prof, I don’t mind telling you, you’re hard my feelings …ancient knowledge that is … would have thought a man such as yourself would appreciate that”

[Jim] “Alright, let’s be generous then, how about 40?”

[Joe] “For a whole family heritage?”

Which is a fair point.

They wouldn’t have the cider without the Grundys having nurtured Grange Farm’s orchard when they worked it. And it is the Grundys know how that will make the cider. Plus Joe has been the community orchard’s consultant …

…so, 90%, according to Joe Grundy, would be fair.

After back and forth, they settle on 80%. Joe reckons the bumper harvest they have had will mean 20% is still more than enough cider for everyone else.

Hmmm.

Mike, for one, isn’t going to be very happy.

Also quite surprised that Jim wasn’t a better negotiator. Maybe his strengths are indeed purely academic.

[Jim, later on] “Really, why do these things have to be so complicated? I thought we’d just muck in and all get a bit of scrumpy”

[Christine] “You haven’t lived here long enough yet, where the Grundys are concerned, nothing’s that straightforward!”

Ed on a badger course in June

Which Alistair reckons Ed is really excited about.

Ed – badger saviour.

Who’d have thunk it!

Eddie isn’t donating a water feature (by the way)

Folks seem to be getting excited about Eddie’s Promise Auction offer.

BUT.

What I heard him say was that he’d install it. Not that he’d pay for the whole thing.

Oh dear. Someone’s going to be disappointed.

The theme for Britain in Bloom

Has to be chosen by the Britain in Bloom committee.

Ideas for far include the Olympic and the Diamond Jubilee.

Not very imaginative, but I suppose they’re at least topical.

[Lynda] “Having said that, it does rather depend on us finding a sponsor”

Jim tells her about Brian trying to offer him BL sponsorship.

[Jim] “It’s obvious that they’re trying to portray themselves as a caring sharing philanthropic company”

While they do need the money, BL is being too obvious, and the Super Dairy is too hot a topic, for them to consider.

[Lynda] “I think we’ll have to say no. This is something we want the whole village behind”

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Ruth and Pat gang up 06.02.12

The Archers Monday 6th February 2012

Super Dairy means everything has to be big
Eddie will still milk Brookfield
Tony can’t feel his fingers
Jim and Christine doing the crossword
An online petition … steady!
Eddie’s water feature
“Honestly, this task is becoming positively Sisyphean!”

Super Dairy means everything has to be big

So reckons Eddie.

Specifically, more big tankers trundling through the village.

Lovely.

He says it in front of Ruth, so starts off on a rant about the negative environmental impact of the Super Dairy.

[Eddie] “At the end of the day, it’s more jobs … can you see anyone else hiring round here? Clarrie, poor love, still can’t find anything”

At that, Ruth calms down. She apologies.

Eddie will still milk Brookfield

[Ruth] “If it weren’t for the milk price, there wouldn’t be so much farms going under”

At which Eddie promises that he will “still be around to milk the Brookfield herd”. He won’t be off to the Super Dairy if they have new jobs.

Oh Eddie. You might have to do that anyway.

Tony can’t feel his fingers

Seriously, can someone help Tony out with the work at Bridge Farm before he collapses?

Jim and Christine doing the crossword

Lovely.

I like those two together. Very calming and warm.

Even when they talk about the Super Dairy.

[Christine] “I must say, I appreciate the way they’ve tried to keep the village informed … I thought the leaflet was very persuasive, didn’t you?”

[Jim] “To be honest, I could have done without the hard sell”

They also then have a chat about the Jubilee oak getting planted at St Stephen’s tomorrow.

Though Jim reckons he has ironing to do instead …

[Jim] “Religion and royalty on their own are one thing Christine, both together is more than I can bear”

[Christine] “Oh don’t be such a wet blanket!”

Which Jim doesn’t mind Christine saying, as she helped him realise that the answer to their crossword clue was “blanket”.

Hurrah!

An online petition … steady!

Ruth calls round to Pat’s to talk Super Dairy.

With Pat’s recent burst of energy, and Ruth’s fury over the possible loss of Brookfield’s herd, they will be a force to shudder at the mention.

So, over lunch, they make an online petition.

And are going to make posters to promote the petition. And email them out to all of the folks they know.

The online petition says that the Super Dairy:

Undermines more sustainable and environmentally friendly forms of dairy faming

[Pat] “BL have got a fight on their hands!”

[Ruth] “They certainly have, they’d better watch out!”

Scary stuff …

… especially when Tony had to get his own soup with pat too busy …

(not that the woman has to get the man his soup – Pat had already sorted herself and Ruth)

Eddie’s water feature

Will be his promise Auction item.

But only after Christine persuaded him with a mention of how good it would be for promotion of his patio business.

Did you spot possible trouble ahoy?

Eddie said he’d fit it for free. Christine seemed to think it was the whole thing.

“Honestly, this task is becoming positively Sisyphean!”

Is what Jim reckons the recording of hours for Community Orchard work is becoming.

Aye, he’s no wrong there.

I feel the same just writing about it …. (dull, dull, dull)

Friday, 27 January 2012

Brian Vs Jim 20.01.12

The Archers Friday 20th January 2012

Tom is beyond selfish
Ambridge is back online
Phoebe lives!
Brian is not really a ‘grassroots’ type of chap
Well done Jim
Glee at Bridge Farm
The main event: Jim Vs Brian
Scones do the trick

Tom is beyond selfish

We all know he’s smug. And righteous. And a bit of a bore.

But Tom is now taking being selfish to new heights.

He’s got an order from that local food supplier – Octagon. Though he claims he also took in the Ambridge Organics brand to sell to them, he somehow only came out with an order for Tom Archer’s. And a sizeable one at that.

He’s also saying all of this in front of Tony. Who, as well as having to stomach Tom after he took his part of the business and ran when the e- coli hit the fan, is also doing extra work because Tom is gallivanting round, getting sizeable orders for Tom Archer’s.

[Tony] “Can’t say I’m enjoying doing your milking as well as your own!”

But worse is yet to come for Tony. Tom’s away next week. “opening up new markets”.

[Tony] “Do you have to do so much work off the farm … to be honest Tom. It’s really getting me down!”

But Tom isn’t listening. Or caring.

This will either end up with Tom being forced off the farm for not pulling his weight (unlikely), or Tony having a heart attack (possible?).

Ambridge is back online

Phew!

Though if one more person uttered that the thieves had stolen 200 metres of cable, I might have had to switch over.

(just jesting!)

Phoebe lives!

Apart from Roy mentioning that he’d missed her over Christmas, we’ve had no evidence that she’s still alive out there in South Africa.

But Jennifer saw her on Skype when she was talking to Nolly on her birthday. Jennifer reckoned Phoebe was looking very grown up.

Brian is not really a ‘grassroots’ type of chap
Anything but.

Brian doesn’t seem to recognise that. he seems to think he has the common touch.

[Brian] “Me operating as BL’s man on the ground, listening to people’s concerns”

Ha!

Well done Jim

With everything back to normal, even Bob Pullen called Jim to thank him for everything he’d done to make sure the vulnerable and older folk were okay without being able to summon for emergency help.

In celebration, Christine asks Jim to tea and scones.

The main event: Jim Vs Brian

After being given shirt thrift by Jill, Brian’s visiting Jim to try his luck.

[Brian] “BL’s always looking for good local causes that might need a bit of sponsorship”

[Jim] “Yes I’m sure they are, especially at the moment. I’m always pleased to make links with local businesses, Brian, but in this case., frankly, I think BL is a bit of a hot potato at the moment. I think we’d rather wait before linking up with you for Britain in Bloom”

[Brian] “Why?”

[Jim] “A lot of questions will be asked about the merits of this new dairy idea. Brian, it would taint the event and make it too political”

With his Britain in Bloom hat off, Jim also lets rip about what he personally thinks about the Super Dairy.

[Jim] “I think I’d take some persuading about that, It seems to go against nature … an animal which is naturally bred to be out in the air, grazing at will, must surely suffer from being packed in a shed with concrete under its hooves”

[Brian] “The animals are housed on sand!”

[Jim] “But the principle is the same isn’t it? I’m keeping an open mind, of course, but it certainly seems an unnatural method of farming to me”

Brian’s now 2-nil down.

You’d think he’d work out that folks don’t want to touch BL’s money. Especially as he’s openly saying that “any venture” will do. Hardly suggests he and BL care for anything more than a few positive column inches in the Echo.

Glee at Bridge Farm

Pat and Tony were overjoyed that Adam’s interview on Borchester Radio has been aired.

[Pat] “Susan had the radio on in the shop. She said she was gobsmacked when she heard him”

[Tony] “Good for Adam!”

[pat] “That should set the cat amongst the pigeons”

[Tony] “Well, what did they expect!”

Tony’s cup overflowed with joy later on when the Echo calls to ask him what he thinks about the Super Dairy!

[Tony] “I said most people were against it. Including members of Brian Aldridge’s own family”

Pat starts cackling at that.

Ah, payment time for when Brian and Jennifer wouldn’t help Bridge Farm.

Scones do the trick

Round at Christine’s, Jim’s a bit wound up about his argument with Brian.

[Jim] “I couldn’t believe it Christine. He was trying to steam roller me into agreeing with him”

But, he finds Christine’s scones “very restorative”.

As they turn their attention back to why they’re celebrating with scones, they feel content at the way the village rallied round when they had no phones or internet.

[Jim] “It did seem to bring out the best in people”

Christine remembers there being no water supply in the 60s. And Jim remembers the electricity winter of discontent.

But they reckoned neither were “such a catastrophe” for them and their generation, as the recent communications blackout had been recently.

[Jim] “People have actually got out and talked to people this week. Quite a novelty in itself”

Ach well.

Back indoors now (at least while it’s still winter).

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

There’s still no phone nor internet 17.01.12

The Archers Tuesday 17th January 2012

Christine’s birds look like they’re in for a treat
Stolen cabling AND floods
Scrap metal? Who was after that a wee while ago?
Caroline’s disturbing her guests
That’s why Ambridge is a nice place to live
Is Ruth going to sack Emma?
Gary’s useless once more
Facebook withdrawal
Ducks have it made?
Lower Loxley bucks the trend

Christine’s birds look like they’re in for a treat

So says Jim.

Stolen cabling AND floods

Ambridge really isn’t having any luck

Seems it was a large amount of cable that was stolen.

(though why the size of it means it’ll take longer to fix, I don’t know. Surely the Council just buys a larger length?)

And flooding has slowed down the repairs.

Scrap metal? Who was after that a wee while ago?

[Jim] “It’s appalling that the thieves are willing to create havoc like this, and all for a bit of scrap metal”

And who do we know was trying to steal scrap metal a wee while back …

Neil was also saying that ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) are putting measures into place to stop dealers buying stolen scrap metal.

That’ll be Clive and his dodgy mate Bernie might be up the swanny without armbands.

Caroline’s disturbing her guests

Caroline really isn’t having a good time at the moment.

Though they have brought the pen and paper out in swathes to try and keep track of who is supposed to be where, they still can’t take payment.

She can’t even find her old ‘clunk clunk’ card readers.

And to top that, she’s starting barging in on guests.

[Caroline] “Luckily when I opened the door there was nothing untoward going on, but the woman looked pretty shocked when the door flew open”

Caroline has misread Oliver’s writing – saw a 17 to be an 11 – and tried to show someone in a room that was already being used.

And Caroline sounded quite upset about it.

Maybe this will give Caroline the push to get another manager, and finally retire properly.

That’s why Ambridge is a nice place to live

People actually give a hoot for each other.

Jim’s in the shop, where they can’t open the Post office bit.

[Jim] “Not being able to give people their pensions is very unfortunate. We’ve seen some distress today”

Bob Pullen is (we are told) very upset that he has no phone, and that his personal alarm (which he wears around his neck) can’t be used.

(don’t those things have batteries? Why an internet connection?)

So Jim decides to do something about it.

He has a chat to Neil and Chris about getting a rota together to go round checking on vulnerable folks, especially as they have no means of raising the alarm.

They’re more than happy to help out, and get others to also do so.

And Chris has the idea of rounding up old mobiles, get some sims and get a collection together to put some money on them. AND he and Alice will help folks of the 3rd generation to use them.

None of that would have happened in a city.

Or in a village where folks don’t like each other.

Is Ruth going to sack Emma?

She was in asking about what ‘cleaner for hire; cards were up in the shop. When Jim pointed out that she has Emma, she didn’t exactly utter any words of denial or that Emma was doing her grand.

Interesting.

Gary’s useless once more

Neil’s made a start on redoing Bert’s house. He’s called in Christopher to help.

Seems Gary is well and truly back to being a chocolate fireguard.

[Neil] “He’s being worse than useless. I think he’s doing it deliberately … if you get reputation for being rubbish,. No-one makes you do anything, do they ?”

Ah – is that’s Gary’s secret!

Anyhoo – Neil is also annoyed that Bert and Gary sat there watching the telly while he grafted – then had the cheek to ask him to keep the noise down as they couldn’t hear their programmes.

Facebook withdrawal

[Ruth] “Josh is having Facebook withdrawal symptoms”

And he wants to go round Freddie and Lily’s to be able to get onto Facebook, to talk to friends he’s just been at school with all day.

[Caroline] “Maybe he’ll read a book instead”

Aye, Ruth’s not hopeful of that.

Ducks have it made?

Ruth’s taking time out to:

[Ruth] “watch how the ducks go about things”

[Caroline, also trying to take a timeout] “Look a rather enviable life, doesn’t it, on the surface anyway …”

[Ruth] “Of course they’re paddling like mad underneath”

Which, as Caroline says, is just what she and Ruth are doing.

(I think we understood that without Caroline spelling it out)

Lower Loxley bucks the trend

It’s on a different exchange, so has internet and phones.

Elizabeth called up Caroline to see how they were coping – but the way Caroline retold the call, it sounded like Elizabeth was ever slightly crowing …

Seems she has lots of people turning up with their laptops to get online. She’s been giving them complimentary coffee. A “roaring trade”.

Caroline really needs to tell Elizabeth to stuff herself. It’s been a year. She doesn’t need to be nice to her anymore.

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Pat’s Party at the Dower House (c/o Lilian):The Archers Wednesday 21st December 2011

Christine’s 80th
Home Farm workers’ party
Party at the Dower House
Damn! Tom’s doing well
Casper arrives
“He hoped when the visitors went home they felt a bit better about the world”
Why is a Panto a good idea?

Christine’s 80th

Seems to have gone well.

Peggy, Shula, Christine and Jim all had lunch at Grey Gables.

[Lilian] “Lucky Jim, lunching with such a bevy of beauties”

I thought it was very uncouth of Lilian to then ask Jill:

[Lilian] “And who’s paying?”

Peter, Christine’s son, as a matter of fact. But why did Lilian want to know?

Odd, and a bit rude.

Anyhoo – they had a great lunch – and Peter called to wish Christine best wishes, and to tell her that he’ll take to a London show when he’s back in the UK.

What’s more – Jim also treated them all to champagne.

[Jill] “So as you can imagine we were all a bit jolly!”

Good good. Christine deserves it after all the Clive Horrobin related stress.

Home Farm workers’ party

[Lilian] “Do you remember when a party for the farm staff meant dozens of people … now they have to get in rent a crowd like me and Matt”

Party at the Dower House

Lilian’s telling Jill of her plans to hold Pat’s 60th at the Dower House (before she’s talked to Pat).

[Jill] “We need some cheering up at that time of year”

When Lilian is later sounding out Pat about what she thinks to the plans, Pat agrees that it all sounds fine.

Up to 60 people, and a “fork supper”.

[Lilian] “Your birthday comes at that rather dismal time of year, if you don’t me saying so … Christmas and new year long time but the winter still got ages to go, the long dark nights and all that … a good party in January, do us all the world of good”

Hmm. Wouldn’t have put it that way myself, but Pat and Tony agree that it’s all a good idea.

When pat has top leave the room, Lilian asks Tony is this is what Pat wants. She seems to have detected a slight undercurrent. But Tony says it’s fine – it is what Pat wants.

Well, Lilian isn’t to know that what Pat wants is her son’s son.

Damn! Tom’s doing well

I can’t help but only wish ill for Tom. But seems my wishes aren’t being granted – he’s up 7% like for like.

[Pat] “Not too sure how we managed it Tony, but all our offspring have seemed to have turned into pretty good entrepreneurs, starting with John”

Seems John sold football cards when he was wee, at school.

Pat and Tony out themselves down. It’s their example of hard work and independence that has influenced their kids.

And Pat seems to be ever calmer after seeing Rich.

[Pat] “I’ve got to stop it. Be grateful for what we do have”

[Tony] “It’s Christmas Pat, let’s make it good for everyone … especially Henry”

Yup. One grandson may not be good as two (!), but it’s better than none.

Casper arrives

Freddie’s been getting his stable ready all day. He’s got new straw laid down, and a bag of carrots

[Elizabeth] “How about a box of chocolates?”

[Freddie] “Don’t be silly mum … if I look out for him, he’ll look out for me when we’re out hunting”

It is nice to hear Freddie genuinely excited and happy about something.

When Casper arrives:

[Shula] “This is when the hard work begins!”

All those early mornings working with Casper before school:

[Freddie] “Won’t bother me. I’m looking forward to it”

I believe him. Freddie will be good at this.

Though Shula tells him he has put too much straw down. Casper wouldn’t be able to get up, and it’s expensive stuff. But he’ll learn.

[Freddie, sounding like he’s giving Casper a carrot] “Here you are Casper, and mind my fingers please”

One boy and his horse …

[Freddie] “It’s brilliant, isn’t it mum. I just wish dad was here …”

[Shula] “Of course you do, We all do, darling”

“He hoped when the visitors went home they felt a bit better about the world”

Elizabeth’s talking about Deck the Halls – specifically the lights on the island – which almost made her cry the first time she saw them.

Why is a Panto a good idea?

Jill was telling Elizabeth that Jennifer is taking Ruairi to a Panto on the 2nd of January.

Cinderella, In Felpersham. With “some comic from the telly”

Jill was wondering whether the twins would also like to go. A full family outing, as a treat from Jill.

Elizabeth gets quite weepy and says it would be wonderful.

Am I missing something?

The first anniversary of their dad’s death. How will going to a Panto help?

I understand that it’ll be a distraction and a laugh – but enough, considering?