The Archers: Hayley and Roy get a stern letter ... Kate gets a talking to from Peggy
- All isn’t well with Grey Gables?
- “Bert took the microphone and staged a coup”
- Hayley is simply not amused
- Kate and Peggy start off quite civilised ...
- A stroll and a chocolate muffin
- Hell hath no fury like a Hayley …
- “That really hurt, gran”
All isn’t well with Grey Gables?
Ian seems concerned about Grey Gables isn’t very busy.
Is a double whammy recession about to hit Ambridge?
“Bert took the microphone and staged a coup”
Roy was reporting back to Ian about last night’s quiz:
“really obscure questions”
Though he did also report that Bert had given Jim the time to find a few of his (properly) easier questions.
When all was said and done, Shula and Alistair’s team won (called ‘Horse Chestnuts’), and The Bull was heaving.
Which is the main thing.
But isn’t the point to get the punters in, but also make sure they keep coming back?
I don’t think the war is won quite yet.
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Hayley is simply not amused
And here’s where Roy’s living hell starts.
Hayley calls him at work to tell him that Phoebe’s school has sent them a very stern letter.
It did sound a tad full-on for one “unauthorised absence”, but I suppose the school is having to battle the scourge of bunking off, plus parents taking their kids on holiday when it isn’t holiday (every little helps!).
Either way, Hayley is absolutely livid:
“we’re carrying the can”
“it’s aimed at parents who don’t give a stuff!”
“I’m going to ram this letter down her throat!”
“damn right I’m upset, and I want her to know it!”
“I’m not giving Kate the chance to manipulate the situation!”
Ian could hear Hayley screeching at Roy on his mobile from across the room.
Determined to confront Kate, Hayley also (literally) dumps Phoebe on him at work, so that she can tackle Kate unhindered.
But Roy starts a whole new world of pain for Kate by asking Peggy to take Phoebe for a few hours ...
Kate and Peggy start off quite civilised ...
Peggy and Kate are having a lovely time catching up, chatting about Kate’s college.
Though “daunted” by the amount of work, Kate’s finding College “stimulating”, and has even made a friend (Chanteuse (sp?), a single mum, who will soon learn that Kate is best avoided!).
Kate’s especially pleased that Peggy gives her a “generous” amount of money as a belated birthday present.
A stroll and a chocolate muffin
When Peggy later looks after Phoebe for Roy, Phoebe once again unwittingly drops Kate right in it.
To be fair, Phoebe doesn’t see what all the fuss is about (despite Roy telling her that “it was very wrong of Kate” to take her out of school without permission).
Having to first work out what Phoebe means when she says ‘mother’ (Peggy assumed Kate, Phoebe meant Hayley), Peggy and Phoebe have a right old time chatting about what Kate was like as a youngster.
Retelling the time when Kate, Helen and Brenda used Blossom Hill Cottage as their “den” (with the help of Will as a gofer), Peggy told Phoebe about the trouble Kate caused when she pretended to be Peggy when writing a letter to Con Korchmar (sp?).
Con was an American GI that Peggy had been ‘close’ to during the war. Con wrote to Peggy, Kate answered the letter, and poor Con arrived in the UK to claim his lady. But Peggy was already married (and knew nothing about the letters, as well as Kate and co squatting in her cottage).
[Phoebe] “Poor guy. Did you still fancy him?”
[Peggy] “well … we had been close during the war”
[Phoebe] “... but he was not marriage material”
(Eh? Where’s Phoebe picked that one up from?)
So, as well as adding “forgery to her list of crimes”, Peggy also mentioned that Kate had nearly burnt the cottage down.
What a gal!
In return for these blasts from the past, Phoebe lets slip about the letter from her school.
Which Peggy is not.
At all.
Amused about.
Hell hath no fury like a Hayley …
… really quite peed off!
Hayley drops in on Kate to give her what for.
Showing Kate the letter from Phoebe’s school:
[Hayley] “we’re marked down as irresponsible parents”
[Kate] “it looks like bureaucratic rubbish”
[Hayley] “I’d be very grateful if you wouldn’t do it again … please”
[Kate] “oh … whatever”
[Hayley] “this is only going to work if all pull together … Phoebe needs clear boundaries …are you prepared to cooperate from now on?”
(at this point, Kate’s ignoring Hayley, pushing Hayley to have to shout ‘KATE!’ to get any response)
[Kate] “well, it’s two against one, isn’t it”
As Ian said earlier on about Kate:
“she’s what my aunty Anne used to call a wee madam”
And as for a woman of 33 using “whatever” …*glare*
“That really hurt, gran”
[Peggy] “you didn’t ask permission - that can’t be right, surely!”
[Peggy] “it was highly irresponsible of you”
[Peggy] “apologise to Roy, Hayley and the school”
[Kate] “but Phoebe is my daughter. I gave birth to her!”
[Peggy] “only when it suits you, dear”
[Kate] “that really hurt, gran”
[Peggy] “the truth often does”
Ouch! Peggy really didn’t hold back from giving Kate a verbal kicking.
Although Peggy does seem Kate as Phoebe’s ‘real’ mother, she’s also very aware that it’s Roy and Hayley who are bringing Phoebe up.
They have the day to day authority, so Kate was utterly out of order for taking Phoebe out of school with their permission.
Also worried about Phoebe being confused about who has the say over what, Peggy’s simply not going to stand for Kate’s childish selfishness.
And hurrah to Peggy! It was about time someone put Kate in her place. Here’s hoping Kate actually takes this bollocking on board.
(though I think the chances of that are slim).
Peggy. You’re our hero!
The Archers: Jazzer’s moved in with Brenda and Tom ... Matt’s a happy chap … Bert saves the Quiz
- Jazzer’s not housetrained, “but in a weird way, he is making an effort”
- He’s “Turbo charged”!
- What I learned from The Archers (part 59076)
- Bert’s brain is just like a sponge
- It’s all about Jim in Jim’s world
- A cackling and grinning Matt
- Lilian’s patented cure for the common cold
- Apologies, but I went to a Scottish comprehensive
- “How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?”
Jazzer’s not housetrained, “but in a weird way, he is making an effort”
Jazzer may be an uncouth lothario sometimes, but it does look like his mum has managed to train him in some basic hygiene skills.
So, despite best efforts to wipe the bath after he’d used it, he managed to use Brenda’s flannel for the task and also leave his towel on the floor.
But that’s not too bad a start, I reckon. Maybe Brenda expecting the worst will only make it come true ...
He’s “Turbo charged”!
Jazzer’s in a good mood today, as Harry isn’t going to be at The Bull tonight for the quiz.
He reckons he’ll be able to
“spread my wings”
sans Harry. Which surely must be more to do with Jazzer wanting Fallon to himself rather than his claim of wanting to be able to be creative in coming up with ideas to show We Love The Bull.
Jazzer’s ideas are to have a “vampire theme” for Halloween - which is neither original nor impressive - but I liked his ideas for Bonfire Night themed drinks:
“Shandy sparkler and Guy Fox Fizz”
After all, most folks will pay that wee bit extra for something ‘special’, even if it is just a pint of larger and lemonade dressed up in a different coat.
[Kathy] “Someone’s lit his fuse!”
Well, Fallon did a while back. It only shines when Harry isn't around.
Poor, lovesick Jazzer.
What I learned from The Archers (part 59076)
The Harvest Supper is a pagan festival:
“In Britain, thanks have been given for successful harvests since pagan times. The celebrations on this day usually include singing hymns, praying, and decorating churches with baskets of fruit and food in the festival known as Harvest Festival, Harvest Home or Harvest Thanksgiving.
“Until the 20th century most farmers celebrated the end of the harvest with a big meal called a harvest supper, to which all who had helped in the harvest were invited.
“Some churches and villages still have a Harvest Supper.”
wikipedia
Well I never knew it had Pagan origins (though it would have made sense, if I’d ever had reason to think about it).
Also interesting to see that Ambridge if probably one of the few villages to still have a Harvest Supper.
Still, that fits in with them playing cricket when everyone else has gone home to stay warm ...
Bert’s brain is just like a sponge
And it was the main himself who said it.
It’s all about Jim in Jim’s world
I do have a soft spot for him and his oh-so-cultured ways, but he had a slight nerve first telling Kathy that he was sorry to hear about her and Kenton splitting up - then apologising in case it was his fault.
Come on Jim! It’s plain that Kathy and Kenton would have split up, whether Jaxx existed (and Jim had in part funded it to exist), or not.
“you just helped bring about the inevitable, Jim”
A cackling and grinning Matt
Which always means he’s about to pull off a crafty deal.
Matt in this sort of state must be what was keeping Brian awake at night a few weeks back.
Matt seems to be more than happy about BL’s offer of 20% in a new company, with Lilian on the board and probably less of a price for the ‘ransom strip’.
What’s he up to now?
It surely can’t be that simple?!?
Lilian’s patented cure for the common cold
“nothing a couple of G&Ts won’t fix”
Which isn’t as daft as it sounds.
I swear that making a decent journey into a bottle of whisky will banish all ailments.
Apologies, but I went to a Scottish comprehensive
Which I don’t really feel the need to apologise for (we had Norman McCaig instead of Pope, Liz Lochhead instead of Shakespeare. Very groovy), but it has led to a slight interruption in my usual service.
I don’t know Latin.
So, like the Ambridge residents, not only was I unable to answer Jim’s quiz questions - but I also couldn’t understand what he was saying to get the questions written down for this blog.
I only managed to get:
From the ‘easy’ starting round, translating Latin into English:
Carpe Dieum
Cavaet Emptor
Meliora (and something else)
(Geography)
Lusitania
Jazzer struggled just as much:
“just put down two points of larger and a packet of drinks”
“this quiz is weird, man”
Shockingly remiss of me, but at least I know my bere bannock from a rowie.
Anyhoo, despite wearing his lucky bow tie, Jim’s quiz went down like a lack of Ann Summer tat at a hen party.
Lilian failed to take control by suggesting Jim tries to give questions that are “a little easier” (than the Punic Wars), as Jim went onto the fiction of Anthony Trollope. Which I would have actually fared better on.
Then, after Jim tried a “easy picture round”, which featured drawings of
[Jazzer] “just a bunch of Romans with curly hair”
from which you had to guess which one was the odd one out (although Brenda reckoned one “could pass for Peter Andre”), Bert stepped in to save the quiz - which is part of the efforts to Save The Bull.
Gracefully bowing out, Jim was heard to mutter:
“I have done what I could, those who can do better will”
And Bert did so almost immediately.
Even Jazzer knew what the largest Loch in Scotland was ...
“How does the guy who drives the snowmobile get to work?”
Classic Jazzer moment.
[Jazzer] “I’m mainly a lateral thinker me ... how does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work”
[Matt] “By plane”
[Jazzer - in awe and shock] “Really!?!”
The Archers: The t-shirts have arrived ... Jazzer's homeless ... Matt might be snookered
- But why is Jolene wearing a We Love The Bull t-shirt?
- Is Bicycle racing a suitable subject for a quiz?
- Wonder where Jazzer really wants to bed down ...
- "You can't beat a nice bit of Stilton"
- The Odd Couple?
- Matt wants Lilian on the top table
- Martin Gibson sounds like a right ...
- Do we think Jazzer is 'extra large'?
- Harry's only ever on the diet lemonades
But why is Jolene wearing a We Love The Bull t-shirt?
Harry's t-shirts have arrived. Seemingly they're bold enough to be seen from the other side of the green.
But why is Jolene wearing them?
I thought the whole point of We Love The Bull was to show Jolene how much the village needed and appreciated her, as well as basically blackmailing her into not giving up their pub.
So isn't it 'job done' if even Jolene is taking part? In showing herself?
Or, does she need to be supported and nurtured even further?
That I'd buy - but there's also something a bit shifty about Fallon and Jolene now selling the t-shirts over the bar.
Fair enough that they cover their costs, but something doesn’t sit quite right for me.
Is the whole We Love The Bull campaign destined to be used by The Bull as a cheap marketing campaign?
Have we been hoodwinked?
Nah.
Whatever everyone's motives, we can support The Bull as a cherished part of our Ambridge daily (except Saturday) pilgrimage.
And if the campaign is getting more folks into The Bull on a Tuesday afternoon, thrice hurrah!
Show your support:
Save The Bull!
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Is Bicycle racing a suitable subject for a quiz?
I must say, I don't share Jolene's concerns on that front.
But she is right to worry that Jim will make the pub quiz a tad "high brow".
Maybe this will be Jim’s chance to get back at Joe for the Food and Produce Show.
Wonder where Jazzer really wants to bed down ...
Jazzer finds himself of no fixed abode when he mum sticks up for his brother Stu (who Jazzer reckons is a "thief and a liar" after going through his pockets to steal nearly £200).
He's walked out of his family flat, and moved temporarily with "Tanya with the pink hair". That has to be a temporary arrangement as her husband's seemingly back from Dubai next week ...
So - quelle surprise - Jazzer asks to stay at The Bull.
Fallon doesn't at all keen when he asks her.
Admitting why to Jolene:
"He's a good mate and everything, but I think he still fancies me"
Feeling bad about letting Jazzer not stay, but not wanting to risk any inevitable 'misunderstandings', Fallon does what every young woman does in her shoes.
She gets her mum to sort it.
Jolene tells Jazzer that she isn't ready to have anyone staying.
I can't help feeling that Fallon is being an utterly rubbish friend. I understand her discomfort, but wouldn’t a real mate be honest?
Either way, I'm glad Jazzer's devotion for Fallon is being brought up again. I'd almost forgotten about that.
And maybe - just maybe - Jazzer has as well.
The Odd Couple?
Jazzer doesn't seem to be remotely interested in Harry's offer of a spot in his flat.
However, Harry's offer of a room (that's seemingly not bigger than a cupboard) might become Jazzer's only option.
Goodness me. If The Archers was actually fictional (pah!), I could have seen a spin-off series right there.
"You can't beat a nice bit of Stilton"
It's the small moments that we should cherish.
Especially when they remind us that folks like Matt like cheese just as much as your next chap does.
Matt wants Lilian on the top table
So after the normality of having a nice spot of cheese, we're back to Matt's wheeling and dealing.
Matt reckons Adam was just being used as Brian's "go-between".
And that the idea of Lilian being on the board of a completely separate company (from BL) is just a ploy - a trick to sideline Matt and Lilian, in fact:
"A sop ... a consolation prize"
Matt seems intent of having his staring contest with Brian, banking (quite literally) on Brian and BL having to crawl to him.
Martin Gibson sounds like a right ...
... nasty wee slim of a man.
Matt stood his own against Martin's onslaughts (Martin's a BL board member, and has been quite vocal about not giving into Matt's demands).
But what a nasty piece of work Martin was. He made Matt's cackling seem quite well intentioned!
[Martin] "I think your notion of fairness, Matt, is a little at odds with the accepted definition"
[Martin] "and you can tell her indoors not to hold her breath!"
(cripes, he was very lucky Lilian wasn't around to hear that)
After claiming that Matt's attempts to get what he wanted out of BL was "ransom ... blackmail ... extortion ... sharp practice"
Matt just came back with a very calm:
"I call it business"
And quite right too! Martin's problem with Matt has more to do with his recent stay at her Majesty's pleasure than Matt having done something untoward.
Matt spotted an opportunity, now wants his asking price.
That is exactly "business".
[Matt on Martin]"What a smug condescending oaf he is"
Quite agree with you there Matt.
Martin does, however, rattle Matt to the point(with talks of abandoning the mart project) that he's willing to call .. nay, have over to lunch ... Brian.
But is that really what BL wants? To give up on the Mart altogether and just use the land for residential? Are they just bluffing?
I think Matt should keep holding her nerve. Residential properties aren't exactly big business at the moment - whereas the Mart already has a buyer in waiting.
When all's said and done - will BL dance with Matt, or lose a profit?
Do we think Jazzer is 'extra large'?
I had him down as understatedly muscled, tallish, with a ever-so-slightly-noticeable beer belly.
Or maybe the extra size is to fit in the muscles.
Jazzer certainly didn't take Harry's offer of an extra large We Love The Bull t-shirt as a compliment. Which actually says little, as Harry can’t say anything right by Jazzer.
And again, Jazzer's take on supporting of the We Love The Bull campaign:
"I donate a large chunk of my wages to the bull in return for a few pints each week ... I think that does mair to ensure the pub has a future"
As he said before, he's fully supportive with his drinking arm.
That's until he finds out that Fallon's wearing one of the t-shirts.
Suddenly, Jazzer's being verbally restrained by Jolene from stripping off in the bar!
[Jazzer] "how do I look?"
[Harry] "sensational"
[Jolene] "ooh, it suits you!"
(wahey! Jolene seems truly back on form)
[Jazzer] "I feel like a prat"
Harry's only ever on the diet lemonades
Now I think there's a story there ...
