Pondering The Archers: george grundy

George now knows he won’t be home for Christmas

George was wondering why they haven’t got a Christmas tree at Rickyard.

It’s because he’s moving. But hasn’t been told as yet.

Ed and Emma decide to tell him, with Ed neatly sidestepping the problem to leave Emma to do it.

Bizarrely – Emma tells George the reason for moving is to give Keira her own room. As if George needed any new reason to feel she’s the favoured child.

But, Emma made George excited by telling him all the wonders of Susan and Neil’s (bigger room for George, Sky TV and the like).

So, now they only have to tell Will …

Disco in the Library!

Sounds fantastic.

Lucky twins!

It’s Freddie and Lilly’s 13th birthday.

They’ve got their mates over.

BUT Elizabeth forgot to cancel Freddie’s math lesson with Ifty.

Though Ifty doesn’t seem too perturbed. Though he refuses cake, he would like a wander round Deck the Halls.

Elizabeth joins him …

Bob Pullen has bronchitis

Poor Bob!

He’s now in hospital.

Though I’m sure he’ll enjoy his visits from Jill and Christine.

Though at his age, this all seems very ominous …

Elizabeth and Ifty?

They seemed very cosy as they were walking round Deck the Halls. And seemed to click from word go.

Ifty also told Elizabeth his dad died when he was 14. Something which (I don’t think) he’d even told Jim during his Borchester Life interview.

I wonder …

Ed leaves Will to Emma

What a wuss Ed is being. He leaves George to Emma, and refuses to also talk to Will. Ed just wants Will to “find out”.

Emma plays it sensibly, and approaches Nic first.

Emma can be a brave lass sometimes. She told Nic everything – the reason why they have to move.

[Nic] “Oh you poor thing. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

Nic reassures Emma that she doesn’t need to worry and Will. She’ll tell him, and make sure he behaves.

As only Nic can do!

Jill and Kenton have a secret

Kenton’s worried about the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza. Tickets still aren’t selling.

[Kenton] “It’s bordering on disaster, We need to take some serious action … we need to give the punters more than ‘hey nonny nonny’ and inedible food!”

Jill was quite offended at that. She’s doing the food!

But Kenton explains that he thinks the show needs to me “more fun”. Things like “piping in the potatoes”.

(oh such japers!)

We aren’t told exactly what Kenton has in mind, but he needs more Elizabethan costumes and tatties. And it’s all a secret with Jill.

Interesting …

Thursday, 29 November 2012

George doesn’t like cheap cereal: Tues 06.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 6th November 2012

Brenda’s having a horrid time, Tom isn’t listening
Nic to the rescue
Brenda’s printer is broken
Does Speakman’s like salty ready meals?
Jamie got the job
Brenda’s computer is broken

Brenda’s having a horrid time, Tom isn’t listening

Brenda actually missed Bonfire Night (even though she just lives over the way from The Bull) because she was in bed early. Knackered.

Leonie seems to be causing havoc at Lilian and Matt’s.

[Brenda] “She was at the Dower House all yesterday, which means Matt's even in a worse mood.”

So, Brenda is getting shouted at by a bad tempered Matt, a bad tempered Lilian, a constantly rude James and a vitriolic Leonie.

Does Tom hear that?

No.

He’s too busy talking about pigs in blankets and what he’d sold at Bonfire night.

[Brenda] “What do you think I should do though. I’m not prepared to be treated like a dogsbody.”

Tom doesn’t have time to answer. He’s off out again.

What is it with the Ambridge men at the moment?

Tom wants to marry Brenda. She doesn’t seem to be too interested these days. Instead of treating her as gold to get her interested, he ignores her.

Matt knows Lilian has a fondness for his half-brother Paul. He took her to Paris to remind her how much he loves her, and how good they are together. Since then, he’s treating her like pants.

Odd way to keep their women still their women.

Nic to the rescue

Nic’s in a foul mood with Will. Seems he and Ed spent all of Bonfire Night glaring at each other.

Though Will claims the kids still had a great time, Nic reckons:

[Nic] “But only because me and Emma managed to keep you both apart.”

Will sees himself as just looking after his son.

But, Nic later calms down when George asks her to buy the cereal he likes. The proper brand, not the cheap replica Emma buys him.

That seems to have struck a chord with Nic.

[Nic] “It’s because they’ve got no money Will … can’t you see that they’re struggling … we are lucky. You earn a good wage, and our home comes with the job.”

And, Will’s house on the Green (that Tom and Brenda rent) was gifted to him, not earned.

[Nic] “You’ve told me what it was like growing up, you know how hard it can be making ends meet, especially today.”

So, Nic agrees that it would be better for everyone if George does spend more nights with them.

[Nic] “The way you went about it was appalling. But it’s still a good idea.”

But, Nic is going to do the suggesting this time.

Brenda’s printer is broken

Shame.

Does Speakman’s like salty ready meals?

Seems so.

They placed another order with Tom.

Jamie got the job

I didn’t even know he’d gone for one.

He’s to be a groundsman with some chap called Isaac. And, he’ll be doing courses to learn felling, climbing, and using a chainsaw – which will take him up to 3 years to complete.

[Jamie] “It’s like a proper job, It’s no longer than Uni, and at least some of the time I’d be getting paid. And I’d enjoy it.”

Though Kathy obviously still wants Jamie to be Cambridge material, she’s accepting that he’s passionate about becoming a tree surgeon.

Brenda’s computer is broken

Shame.

Seems Lilian told her to lend it to James, who then managed to encrypt all of the files.

Which means Brenda has to stay late to fix it, rather than have dinner (salty ready meals?) with Tom.

He still doesn’t seem to notice she’s having a horrid time.

James and Leonie are back together sigh: Sun 04.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Sunday 4th November 2012

Maybe better choose a cheaper car?
Lilian thought it was bad enough … then Leonie arrived
George’s squash isn’t strong enough
George wants to stay with Will

Maybe better choose a cheaper car?

Ed and Emma are our choosing a car.

Ed wants to get one that’s more than they afford. He wants to make sure he has a super safe one, and he can also still hear Will taunting him.

Them getting the car means Ed will have to get extra work in somehow.

Petrol Pump guy, doorman … anything.

Trouble is, there isn’t anything.

And if there was, would Ed have time?

Lilian thought it was bad enough … then Leonie arrived

Poor Lilian.

Her menfolk are driving her potty.

She’s crying to get supper sorted. Matt’s getting in the way (muttering “stupid idiot” to James under his breath). James in getting in the way, trying to poor himself some wine.

Matt reaches for the carving knife. James drops the wine. Then the door goes.

It’s Leonie.

She’d rushed over after hearing about James’ “horrific accident”.

And … they reconcile.

[Leonie] “Still, at least if there is a silver lining, I’m here now … maybe it’s fate. I have missed you, James.”

James concurs.

[James] “I should have been more understanding. You can’t help being you. That’s what makes you so special. You’re my silly sausage!”

Leonie has even taken a week’s compassionate leave. So she can stay around to help.

On that bombshell, Matt leaves the room to go to meet a colleague (on a Sunday!).

Lilian begs to go with him, but he refuses.

Bad Matt!

Yet another black mark against him.

George’s squash isn’t strong enough

Which will be Emma trying to make it last.

But it doesn’t taste of anything.

Poor wee George.

George wants to stay with Will

Ed comes back home, and manages to wind the whole family up.

[Emma] “We were all perfectly happy until you came back from your dads!”

George runs off crying.

When Emma goes to see him, he asks if he should stay with his dad more often.

George reckons that it would cost his mum and Ed less. And also make them more happy … aw!

Emma tells George that’s adult worries, not his.

But she should listen to him.

It may be hard, but she and Ed need every penny they can get.

40p off of turkey slices: Thurs 01.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 1st November 2012

Ed and Emma are sleeping apart
Damn rural buses!
George is the poor kid
Will demands better

Ed and Emma are sleeping apart

Yup, things can get worse for them.

Emma’s even reminded of the time they had to live in the caravan … it is indeed really that grim.

The self-confessed Princess is really struggling. She was used to a “cosy “ home growing up, where Ed was used to ice on the inside of the Grundy household.

Though Emma is feeling philosophical:

[Emma] “Nanny used to say you should cut your clothes to match your cloth.”

She’s also being practical.

She’s decided she’s not going to London.

[Emma] “I can’t face Jody. Not like this.”

[Ed] “You look alright.”

[Emma] “You used to say I looked gorgeous.”

(oh dear! Amateur error there Ed)

[Emma] “I would love to go for a cappuccino just because … lippy … tube of hand cream …
I miss being careless … our life is either about 40p off a packet of turkey slices or an £87 water bill. There’s nothing in-between anymore. The fun things have all gone.”

As well as her schoolmate Jody having escaped Ambridge and now marrying a rich chap, Emma also has to watch other Ambridge ladies doing well. Alice, with her new job. Pip, going skiing.

[Ed] “We had to fight so hard to be together, now more than ever. We need to keep fighting, or this will tear us apart.”

Indeed.

Damn rural buses!

Emma’s literally stuck in the house now that they don’t have their car.

[Emma] “Especially since they cut the buses.”

Aye, same round our way.

It took me nearly 2 hours to do what would be a 20 minute journey in a car the other day. And that bus only runs every third Sunday at 6.30am.

Touch wood my van keeps it up!

George is the poor kid

Every class had at least one.

The kid who never had a decent lunch with them. Threadbare clothes. Often a bit smelly …

As Emma pulls out clothes for George that she’d taken from Ruth’s family sloppy seconds, she finds a football shirt.

Ed points out it’s for the wrong team, but Emma doesn’t give a hoot. It’ll do, even though:

[Emma] “He always looks the poorest in this class.”

Will demands better

George let slip to Will that he and Emma had been stranded in their car, next to a main road.

Will’s fuming.

[Will] “He’s been letting George ride around in a rust bucket … No wonder he was crying in the night.”

Strangely enough, Eddie then tells Will everything (according to Will – we didn’t get to hear it). I thought Eddie would have had more tact.

[Will] “Dad’s just told me they're living hand to mouth at Rickyard.”

And they’re in debt.

[George] “It’s not what I wasn’t for George. And what are they spending his maintenance on eh, cause it sure as hell ain't George.”

[Nic] “They wouldn’t deprive the children.”

[Will] “On bills I bet.”

(well, surely they need to use the maintenance for at least a share of the bills?)

[Will] “What if he's going hungry … I can’t bear the thought of it. It would be a start if he came to use more often.”

[Nic] “If you square it with Emma …”

[Will] “She doesn’t have a leg to stand on now!”

Though Nic tells Will to take it calm, do we hear a custody battle ahoy?

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Joe has new teeth: Wed 31.10.12 #thearchers

The Archers Wednesday 31st October 2012

Fallon’s first night at Jaxx
The cost of dentures today
It’s a year since Ivy died
Joe’s not a fan of trick or treat
Ed and Emma in, with the lights off
Emma and George get stranded
Fat Paul had cardboard AND a pen!
Folks were poorer back in the day

Fallon’s first night at Jaxx

She’s got themed cocktails. She’s got themed music. (Halloween, of course). She’s got most of Ambridge in for her first night.

(Actually, could this hurt The Bull’s profits? That’d be a tad ironic)

The cost of dentures today

Is not making Joe a happy chappy.

It’s a year since Ivy died

[Emma] “Everything’s gone wrong since then.”

That’s strange.

Emma never struck me as very close to her granny.

Joe’s not a fan of trick or treat

[Joe] “That, eh, treat or trickin, it’s demanding sweets by menaces.”

I quite agree, Joe.

We used to go guising. With a turnip (not a pumpkin – you have to work a turnip for days to get it hollowed out). And with a practised party piece (not just a naff joke, or an outright demand for sweets).

Back in Joe’s day, it was also a bit more gothic.

He used to be scared to look in the mirror at Halloween in case he saw a ghost.

Ed and Emma in, with the lights off

They can’t afford sweets to give to the kids.

Though Joe thinks the lights are off for a decent reason:

[Joe] “Some things are still free, eh.”

[Ed] “You got a long memory granddad!”

Cheeky of Joe.

And a bit disturbing, considering Ed’s his grandson.

Emma and George get stranded

As Emma’s driving George home, smoke starts coming out of the car.

She has to pull over, and get George up the bank. They’re on a rather busy bypass.

Eddie came to save them, but Emma’s fuming with Ed.

She blames him for not getting the car fixed. And that’s it too old anyhoo.

[Emma] “Me and George could have died on the dual carriageway.”

(could’ve - didn’t … not need for drama)

[Ed] “You don’t half mollycoddle him you know!”

(eh?)

So the car’s knackered. They’d just put £20 of petrol in hit. And they need a new car.

Which they don’t have the ready money for, so Ed suggests a loan.

[Emma] “No more debt, we’re drowning in it.”

[Ed] “If you were better at managing …”

[Emma] “Don’t you dare out this on me.”

[Ed] “It was you who spent all the money we put aside for the water bill.”

[Emma] “You expect me to leave money in a drawer when we’ve run out of food?”

Emma reckons she’s proud she’s just about managing to cope. Ed’s angry at himself for not providing.

Such anger.

Oh. So. Grim.

Fat Paul had cardboard AND a pen!

Well done Fat Paul.

It meant that when Eddie went to his to get to tow sorted for Emma, they were proper and legal driving back.

Folks were poorer back in the day

According to Joe.

[Joe] “People ain't poor like the old days, though.”

[Eddie] “Maybe, but they’ve got bigger debts.”

Monday, 29 October 2012

Emma’s rubbish at Halloween costumes: Sun 28.10.12 #thearchers

The Archers Sunday 28th October 2012

Safaris, Supermarkets and sheets
Topical insert: the clocks have changed
Will Naomi be a b*tch to Fallon?
Matt’s channelling Alf Garnett
Only proper bangers for the big bangs
Gies a bell

Safaris, Supermarkets and sheets

Will’s got a day off next Thursday. As it’s half term, he wants to take George with him and their side of the family to a Safari.

Emma sounds irritated. But how can she say no? It’s more than she and Ed can offer.

On the flip side, Ed’s pondering whether to try and get night shifts stacking shelves at Tesco.

Emma reckons not.

They need the money, but neither Ed, nor their marriage, would survive it.

It does seem to be getting worse and worse for Ed and Emma.

They now can’t afford batteries for George’s toys (yikes! A child without toys to occupy them. *shudder*)

[Emma] “He can play with his pet guinea pig instead.”

(we seriously need to get that guinea pig out of there. She doesn’t sound at all appreciated)

But it’s not all doom and gloom. Emma’s found a Halloween party at the library, which is free (and hopefully fun). So, rather than compete with Will, she’s going to do the best with what she has to hand. Which means making George a costume.

[Emma] “I really need something to make that white sheet more interesting …”

Emma sticks stars to it.

But later on, she’s distraught at her creation.

[Emma] “Well if I can’t even make Georgie a Halloween costume, what use am I?”

She starts to panic.

They need oil before Christmas. Winter clothes for Keira. And then there’s Christmas.

To add to her woes, Will drops George back early, without feeding him.

AND Will’s bought George a wizard costume. It was only £6.99 …

AND:

[George] “Mummy, Nic’s food tastes nicer than yours. We had chicken today.”

Oh, goodness me.

I’m starting to really feel sorry for Emma. She is trying, more so than ever.

She bins the costume she’s made:

[Emma] “It’s rubbish. I’m rubbish.”

Ever more grim …

Topical insert: the clocks have changed

It fell to Emma to remind us this year that the clocks have changed:

[Emma] “I feel weird enough today with the clocks changing.”

Cheers Emma!

Will Naomi be a b*tch to Fallon?

Fallon seems to think so.

She thinks Naomi thinks (!) that her (Fallon) getting the job was a “stitch up”.

Well.

Naomi’s not too far off the mark.

Matt’s channelling Alf Garnett

Matt’s rather random bad behaviour continues.

He’s refusing to lift a finger to help James.

Now James may be a pain, but he is Lilian’s son, and he is genuinely hurt.

But no.

Matt won’t help cook (leaving Lilian to do it all). And he won’t check on James when Lilian’s out (so Lilian can’t go out very often). He justifies it by saying he never wanted kids in the first place:

[Matt] “That’s precisely why I never had one, far too demanding.”

And with that, he goes to the pub.

So, Lilian calls Paul to tell him how much of an arse Matt is being. Paul must be delighted to hear that their relationship is rapidly deteriorating.

[Paul] “Isn’t that what Alf Garnett used to say, ‘I’m going down the pub’?”

Only proper bangers for the big bangs

Jolene’s organising The Bull’s Bonfire night. She stresses to Tom that she wants his traditional sausages, not the spicy ones.

Seems only “proper” sausages will do.

Gies a bell

Lilian’s had to borrow the closing time bell from The Bull to give to James.

Does that means there’s no closing time?

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Joe keeps losing his teeth: Thurs 27.09.12

The Archers Thursday 27th September 2012

George can only take pineapple
Can Mike work any harder?
Eddie’s running away from Joe’s teeth
Will gets sanctimonious
Tracey’s a dinner lady

George can only take pineapple

He can’t have any of the beans, as there’s none to spare.

It’s alright George.

Most folk only give the tins they don’t want any more for Harvest Supper.

[Ed] “We could with a hamper ourselves this year.”

Aye, if only Emma and Ed’s pride would let them ask for it.

Can Mike work any harder?

He’s already doing Harry’s round. Though it is taking him half the time. He’s already lost 5 customers (due to them cost saving rather than out of protest).

And he does the green burial site. A bit of forestry. The bottling … (I’ve probably missed something, but you get the gist. Mike works all hours)

While Vicky is taking her maternity, she’s decided she won’t be going back to work.

Oh blimey.

[Mike] “We’ll cope … I’ll do everything I can. We’ll be fine, I know we will.”

That means Mike not getting a replacement for Harry at all. He’ll do it all himself.

[Mike] “Besides, it’s the right thing. And I want to do the right thing for you and the little un.”

[Vicky] “Oh Mike, I am so lucky to have you.”

Uh-oh.

Here’s hoping Mike’s not in for any accidents or sudden illnesses soon.

Eddie’s running away from Joe’s teeth

Seems Joe is having issues with his teeth.

They’re bothering him. So he keeps taking them out. Then losing them.

Eddie even found them in the bread bin earlier today.

So, Eddie’s taken refuge in The Bull.

[Eddie] “Quite a thing with a man has to come to the pub to get away from his father’s teeth.”

Will gets sanctimonious

Will’s taken George out for food.

He’s a bit shocked that George is checking the prices before he orders, checks if Will can afford what he’s about to order, and mutters something about “we have to try and make do with what we’ve got”.

[Will] “You have whatever you want from that menu. When you’re with me, money’s no object.”

So, Will being Will, he shouts about it to Nic. He’s furious Ed and Emma have been talking about their finances in front of George.

[Will] “In front of my son, Telling him he can’t take a few cans of beans into school for the harvest festival …I'm not having George suffer, just because Ed can’t manage his finances … I’m not paying maintenance so they two can fritter their money away on goodness knows what. That money is meant to be spent on George … it’s obvious, Ed and Emma aren’t providing properly for my son.”

Here we go again.

Ed in the blue corner, Will in the red.

Just in time for Christmas.

Tracey’s a dinner lady

At Loxley Barrett Primary.

Glad she got work.

And hope she makes cheesy wheels.

They were fab.

Friday, 31 August 2012

Emma has a picnic in the rain: Tues 28.08.12

The Archers Tuesday 28th August 2012

No Zig a Zoo Land for George
David still really (really!) hates badgers
Matt blames Darrell
The Mighty Zar!

No Zig a Zoo Land for George

Poor George.

His mates are going, but it’s too expensive for Ed and Emma (seems it’s some sort of theme park).

So George gets to go to the local playground with Emma and Keira, with a promise that another of his mates will be there.

But, George’s other mate can’t make it.

It starts raining.

George can’t get a push on the swings as Emma is trying to get Keira to eat cheese spread.

But Emma won’t eat the cheese spread.

Emma’s at the end of her tether when Lilian saunters by with a few choice words to cheer Emma up:

[Lilian] “Don’t worry Emma, it does get better, until they’re teenagers, and then it gets worse.”

When it starts to really pee it down, Emma admits defeat and goes home.

Probably to harass Ed about their lack of disposable income.

Easily solved, Emma.

Go back to doing more paid work than just cleaning Brookfield’s kitchen floor …

David still really (really!) hates badgers

Even though David is letting Ed store the badger traps in his lean-to, he still won’t forgive the badgers for any past, current or future wrong doings.

[David] “No, you know what I’d do, if I had the choice, if we were allowed to …”

Anyhoo, seems the badger traps have to have notes on them to tell passer-bys that the badgers are being caught to be vaccinated, not being hurt.

Do-gooders who would do them ill without knowing.

And also seems that Ed isn’t getting paid for any of the work he’ll be doing to vaccinate the badgers. He can only get paid for it year 2.

Emma will be pleased that he has to get even more early than usual for no extra pay.

Matt blames Darrell

Matt’s back from his golf weekend to a very unimpressed Lilian.

She tells him about the flood at the Walters’.

[Matt] “These things happen.”

[Lilian] “You know, you need to be careful Matt, they’re an elderly couple, suppose they get ill or there’s an accident?”

[Matt] “Are you saying I had something to do with the water leak?”

[Lilian] “Did you?”

[Matt, sounding hurt] “No!”

Though Matt claims they do indeed badly need cashflow:

[Matt] “Not at the expense of hurting old people.”

Lilian then told Matt what Darrell had told her. So Matt calls Darrell, in quite an angry mood.

[Matt] “I’m not having that lunket …”

(lunket? What’s a lunket???)

Though Matt wants Darrell to come over straight away, Lilian’s busy:

[Lilian] “That’s no use for me, I’m due at The Bull.”

[Matt] “You’re starting early!”

(atta-boy! What a perfect way to calm down Lilian. Call her an alcoholic)

When Darrell does come round, and Lilian’s back, Matt lays it on thick. He’s pretending he’s horrified at what had happened to the Walters.

[Matt] “Nothing that might engender the health of an elderly couple … We have a duty of care, especially the elderly ones … we shouldn’t be causing them any extra stress … What you and I want is to work for the best, long term interest of our residents.”

Darrell seems stunned. As Matt lectures him, all he can do is agree.

But Lilian’s not fooled.

She’s given the Walters her mobile number. So, any problems, she’ll be the first to know.

[Lilian] “There are not going to be any more out of hour emergencies … are there Matt?”

Ha!

Matt may think he’s clever, but he’s just not as clever as our Lilian.

The Mighty Zar!

[George] “Be silent woman, for am I the mighty Zar, and I don’t take prisoners!”

What a funny wee chap!

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

The day of the Brookfield Barn Fire: Thurs 12.07.12

The Archers Thursday 12th July 2012

Confused?
Josh is a hero
Who is David kidding?
George had a marvellous time!
Clever Jeena
Will Emma testify?

Confused?

I was at first.

The day before was the barn fire – but they were still at a burning barn today.

It had me thinking about was about to alter time back and forth like Ambridge Extra does (did?).

But phew!

I realised that the barn had gone on fire in the wee hours yesterday. So we were hearing those wee hours, as it was still today.

If that makes sense (?!?)

Josh is a hero

Josh and George were found safe

Good.

They were found together. Josh had promised George he’d wake him up with Jeena starting calving. So Josh did, then kept George safe during the fire.

In fact, Josh and George got Jeena away from the fire. Then Josh let the dogs loose so that they’d wake everyone else up.

That lad’ll go far. Quick thinking indeed.

Who is David kidding?

David seems to think the barn fire might be because of something carried on the wind. A Chinese Lantern, or the like.

[David] “I dunno. These things happen.”

Oh come on David!

What’s it going to take, David?!?

George had a marvellous time!

[George] “Yay, the fire engine!”

Poor Ben was stuck back in the house looking after Keira during the fire. The fire engines. And the Police arriving.

But George even got to sit in the truck.

[Emma] “All just a big adventure to them.”

[George] “This is the best night of my entire life!”

Clever Jeena

Ruth and Josh rushed back to Jeena as, though she had started, she had run into problems which Josh couldn’t handle himself.

Ruth said the calf had elbow lock. She pushed it back in, straightened it out, and:

[Josh] “Oh yes! Two legs!!!”

[Ruth] “And the reflex?”

[Josh] “It's sucking my fingers.”

And it’s a girl!

Clever Jeena indeedy.

Her calf is to be called Georgina (instead of Jessie J).

Will Emma testify?

Even David couldn’t ignore the fact that the Police found petrol at the fire site.

Well, he did try.

But Emma spoke up.

[Emma] “Well I know. I know someone started it. I saw him. I saw him running away across the field.”

She even described how he tripped.

But then, couldn’t remember much more.

[Emma] “Average, maybe a bit thick set ... I’m so sorry David, I wish I could be more help.”

Could Emma be of more help?

Is she telling everything she saw? Or, holding back so that the gang doesn’t target her and her family …?

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Kate’s a madwoman, so says Hayley: Sun 08.07.12

The Archers Sunday 8th July 2012

Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade
South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?
Milk Price Rally
Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!
George not impressed with Susan’s
Josh to look after Jeena
Roy knows Kate

Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade

But it doesn’t fit with the rest of her new room, so it’s got to go.

There was a slight panic when they found the bulb wasn’t working, but Roy borrowed one from Mike.

Such drama!

South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?

(I know what I’d prefer)

Kate drops her bombshell

Well, to be fair to Kate, it was actually Phoebe’s bombshell. But Kate did facilitate it by agreeing to Phoebe staying longer in South Africa without talking to Roy and Hayley first,

Kate called Hayley, just as Hayley was putting the finishing touches to Phoebe’s room.

[Kate] “It makes much more sense.”

[Hayley] “It might make sense to you but this date’s been set for months!

[Kate] “That was ages ago, we didn’t know how things were going to work out, she’s loving South Africa … you can hardly begrudge it, you’ve had her all these years.”

Later on, talking to Roy, Hayley was furious with herself for letting Kate wind her up.

She and Roy are both furious Phoebe isn’t coming home, for a number of reasons. There will be no time for her to settle down before school. It’ll ruin the holiday plans they’d made.

[Roy] “No, it’ll be Kate just trying it on … she isn’t going to stay there. I’ll not have it.”

So Roy calls Kate.

[Kate] “You and Hayley are as bad as each other, overeating …”

Roy demands to be told about the camping trip to the Cape. Kate’s mention of older boys being there doesn’t make Roy a happy man …

[Kate] “ … for goodness sake, grow up, and let Phoebe, Just chill a bit … I can see a week in some holiday park in the UK to be far more enjoyable, playing snap with her kid sister while Vicky enters the glamorous granny competition!”

[Roy] “It wouldn’t be like that …”

(Roy had to stop there. He couldn’t exactly give any reasons why it wouldn’t be like that)

Kate handed the phone to Phoebe, who tells Roy that she wants to stay as she’s having such a marvellous time.

[Roy] “Well, you are going to come back, aren’t you?”

[Phoebe] “Don’t be silly. Of course I will!”

So, Roy has to relent. What Phoebe wants, Phoebe does seem to get.

Milk Price Rally

Will be taking place in London, but David’s not going. He feels his place is at Brookfield, especially now that everyone’s home again (including Emma at Rickyard, it would seem).

[David] “We’ve just got to be aware, that’s all, rather than being paranoid.”

Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!

Sounded like Josh and Ben were at Lower Loxley. David expected it would be Lewis to bring them home.

[David] “What would it take, do you think, for Elizabeth to come round?”

[Ruth] “What, here?”

[David] “In her head as well. Perhaps if these nutters bought me one, or finished me off … do you think that would even the stakes?”

Later on, after the boys are home.

[David] “You might need to go home and lie in a darkened room.”

Elizabeth had dropped them off, and had also spoken to David.

[David] “Don’t get excited. Nothing’s changed. She still thinks I’m an idiot. She thinks I’m mad to give evidence … from her point of view, it’s clearly just another wrong decision from someone who clearly can’t be trusted to make them.”

Ach well. At least Elizabeth is now acknowledging David exists. Might take a few more years for her to realise he didn’t kill Nigel.

George not impressed with Susan’s

George didn’t like staying at Ambridge View.

He wasn’t allowed in most of the rooms. Could have drinks or crisps in front of the “big” telly. And had to talk his shoes off.

When telling Josh, they both agree it was rather “extreme”.

Josh to look after Jeena

Jeena’s very heavily pregnant with a big calf, but has quite slim hips. So she’ll likely need help.

Josh was sounding very depressed (indeed) that Phoebe wasn’t coming home:

[Josh] “Some summer I’m going to have, gated on a farm with nutters after us.”

David reminds him that they’ll have days out. Cricket. Football. He’ll finally get on the tractor. And, he wants Josh to look after Jeena.

Josh actually sounded really happy about that.

Would seem Phoebe is easily forgotten for a cow …

Roy knows Kate

[Hayley] “Can we trust her Roy … Kate … by September, will she come up with some other excuse to keep her … Kate’s brainwashed her.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded ... a bit detached”

[Hayley] “Don’t tell me Phoebe’s been packed off to get her out of Kate’s way.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded a bit odd.”

[Hayley] “So now there’s a madwoman in charge of our daughter … well thanks Roy. If you’re trying to reassure me, you’re going the wrong way about it!”

Hmmm.

Looks like Roy’s spotted Kate’s up to no good.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

The horror, the humanity – it’s Open Farm Sunday 2012: Sun 17.06.12

The Archers Sunday 17 June 2012

A horrible Open Farm Sunday for Brookfield
It’s also Father’s Day
And it’s also Usha’s birthday
Emma and Neil’s grand day out

A horrible Open Farm Sunday for Brookfield

It all started so well.

David, Ruth, Pip, Josh and Ben were in good spirits, well organised, and it even sounded like it wasn’t raining!

There was to be a speech from David on “plough to plate”, pots for the kids to have cream in, which they could shake to make into butter and then spread on scones:

[Ruth] “If they have a spare three hours!”

Though they will all still aware that extra caution was required after the recent threats from the gang who attacked Adam. The stewards had to be particularly well briefed:

[David] “Make absolutely sure everyone is on message”

Emma was also nervous about leaving George and Ed at Brookfield while she and Keira went had a day out with Neil.

Turns out Emma was quite right to be worried.

Just as David was telling the visitors about the cows being milked, there was a loud bang.

[David] “Whoops, there goes my sister’s father in law in his old banger … sorry, Riley”

(why David didn’t immediately connect the band to the gang is a mystery)

Ed then started frantically shouting for everyone to get into the Orchard.

The bullocks were loose, and storming their way.

There was then screaming, shouting and George being daft enough not to stay put (Ed got to him in time).

No one was hurt. The closest to harm had been:

[David] “A few idiots taking snaps on their mobiles.”

Though:

[David] “One of two of them muttering darkly about lawyers … how the hell did they get out?”

Later on:

[David] “It’s the gang, isn’t it?”

Seems they’d made a gap in the fence, and set off a firework to get the bullocks running.

[Pip, crying] “How can anyone be that cruel … How dare they sabotage our open farm Sunday like this, how dare they! They all could have been hurt!”

So the Police are called again.

(though we did know something bad was going to happen when David previously had said it was going to be an Open Farm Sunday to remember)

It’s also Father’s Day

David got a beer from a microbrewery, and toast for breakfast.

Which Ben then burnt.

(the toast, not the beer)

George was allowed to make two cards at school, so nor arguments between Ed and Will.

And Neil had a day out with Emma.

But Amy didn’t send or give Alan a card.

And it’s also Usha’s birthday

[David] “Just think, half century!”

[Ruth] “Just as long as you don’t phrase it that way to her.”

Again, Amy didn’t show up with or send a card.

Emma and Neil’s grand day out

For Father’s day, Emma took Neil out for lunch, while Susan and Tracey were treating Bert to a Sunday roast. (no mention of Chris, though).

Neil didn’t exactly sound too thrilled at spending the day with Emma. Even though she said that as she’d been given a fair amount of tips at a wedding she’d worked at (one assumes Lower Loxley, “money was no object”.

Might have had something to do with there being a cricket match on that he could have gone to …

Funnily enough, Neil wants to go to Paxley. Emma spots Chris, Tom and Roy passing by in a car:

[Emma] “What are the chances dad?”

Hmmm …

After Emma gave Neil a row for getting texts from Richard Thwaite (who’s on the cricket team), and after they’d had a meal, Emma and Neil took a wee stroll. …

[Neil] “What’s behind the hedge … it’s Paxley cricket ground!”

[Emma] “Oh, you poor thing, why didn’t you say?”

Very surprisingly, but Emma (a) took Neil to watch the rest of the match and (b) genuinely sounded like she would have taken Neil there in the first place if Neil had told her.

Blimey.

Emma does a nice thing for someone else!