- David says no to Brian
- Lynda’s busy changing her plans
- Brian’s worried about public opinion
- Borchester already has its Christmas lights up
- Pat reveals her theory about John’s son
- Bert came 5th at Lakey Hill
- Ruth’s making pizza
- Brookfield gets a foot in the door
David says no to Brian
David’s on his way out to tell Brian that Brookfield won’t be supplying crop for the Super Dairy.
[Ruth] “What, that we’re not going to grow crops for his cynical, disgusting, immoral, intensive dairy unit!”
[David] “Well, I’ll probably out it a bit more tactful than that”
[Ruth] “He won’t respect you for it”
When David tells Brian, he does go gentle. He tells Brian that they don’t want to be tied to a long term contract, as well as their commitment to their way of dairy farming.
It was probably better David told Brian rather than Ruth – especially as he is NFU president.
Brian’s worried about public opinion
Brian always has his eye on PR – though it’s more out of ensuring profitability than giving a damn about what people think of him.
[Brian] “Our main is the strength of any local opposition. There’s so much hysterical nonsense being peddled in the media these day … bionic farms, Frankenstein cows you know the sort of thing”
David reckons there are also “reasoned arguments” against Super Dairies, but Brian isn’t interested in those debates. He asks David to sound out opinion of NFU members.
[David] “I think you’re right. You could end up with a fight on your hands”
I’ve said it before – but wait until Lynda hears about this one! Fury and posters, methinks.
Lynda’s busy changing her plans
Well, her “masterplan”, in Lynda’s own words.
She’s working out the food for Christmas around the World – which is set to take play on 28th December.
Four courses (starter, main, pudding and cheese), which will be serves as bite sized portions between the stage entertainment. When nothing is happening on the stage, they’ll play CDs of carols from around the world.
Lynda has roped Kathy in to help make the food (they’ll pre-done a lot of it and freeze it), and is also trying to track down Freda.
Lynda will be kept extra busy with having to change all the advertising and publicity for the show.
Here’s hoping it all shifts a few more tickets.
Borchester already has its Christmas lights up
Seems Nic and Will’s kids were off to see them.
And Ambridge’s will also be up soon.
*sigh*
Far too early, in my humble opinion.
Pat reveals her theory about John’s son
Or, who she thinks is John’s son.
She’s round to see Kathy. Seems she can’t cope just mulling it all round in her own head.
[Pat] “You’ll think this is totally crazy. It started because I went to Ivy Horrobin’s funeral. You know Sharon’s daughter, Sharon Richards … well, you know she came down for the funeral … well, apparently she’s got a younger brother …
“the boy’s called Rich, he's a teenager … this is the crazy bit … do you remember in 1997, a few months before John does, Sharon came back to the village, she didn’t waste any time of course, she and John had a fling”
[Kathy] “Yes, while he was supposed to be going out with Hayley”
[Pat] “Well, according to Susan, Rich is 13 now, and Sharon moved away again after Christmas that year, so if you do the sums … I don’t know, but according to the dates, it’s just possible this boy could be John’s son”
[Kathy] “Oh Pat, but why … the boy must be Eamonn’s. You’re no reason at all to think he might be John’s”
[Pat] “Yeah, I suppose you’re right, and as said it’s all pretty mad”
[Kathy] “It is a crazy idea. It’s so unlikely. The best thing you can do is forget all about it”
[Pat] “Yes. You’re right. I must”
So Kathy gives Pat more wine, and tells her about how Jamie has just done his maths resit and is working really hard again at his school work. That’s why he’s been so quiet.
But Pat isn’t listening. Nor is she interested in Kathy having seen a “perky” Harry back in the village, after his visit to Poland to see Zofia.
[Kathy] “You can’t let it go, can you? … so let’s go through it again. Calmly and rationally”
[Pat] “The dates do work out Kathy,. That’s the trouble”
[Kathy] “So let’s say, for the sake of argument, in their there’s a chance it could be John’s … but far far more likely to be Eamonn’s … so why even think about it. It’s not going to lead anywhere. Only to place you don’t want to go”
[Pat] “You’re absolutely right. It’s a ridiculous idea … on someone who prides themselves on being clear headed and logical, it’s all rather sad and pathetic isn’t it .. thanks Lathy, I do feel much clearer about it now”
How many of us think that will be the last we’ll be hearing of Pat’s theory?
Bert came 5th at Lakey Hill
Seems something went wrong with his tractor.
Poor Bert.
Ruth’s making pizza
Again.
Brookfield gets a foot in the door
Ruth has finally made progress in Brookfield trying to secure a direct contract for their milk.
A Dairy processor has asked them to pitch.
[Ruth] “We’ve got a fantastic product. How can they possibly turn us down?”
I wonder. If they don’t get a milk contract soon, will Brian’s offer for Brookfield to supply the Super Dairy will become more attractive … actually, could become a necessity.
- Ruth puts her welly in it
- Nic’s a kind wee soul
- Freddie went out on his first hunt
- David’s not for vaccinating
- Bert came first
- Jim’s a good chap
Ruth puts her welly in it
Nic is telling Christine about her wedding plans when Ruth ambles along and says:
[Ruth] “You can never have too many weddings!”
[Nic] “Well one will be quite enough for me, thanks”
Oops. Not the best thing to say to the blushing bride of Mr Will Grundy!
Nic’s a kind wee soul
And sounds like she genuinely likes and cares for Clarrie.
Bout time sometime like Clarrie just for being Clarrie.
They’re out looking at wedding dresses, but Nic can’t make up her mind. One of them is kinda sexy, but she thinks the pleating is a bit fussy.
She’s also talking about whether to choose between Sham el Shake in Egypt, or the Cape Verde Islands (nice!).
[Clarrie] “Me and Eddie thought we were lucky to get to Torremolinos”
Nic decides she’s going to look on the internet for a wedding dress (more choice and cheaper), but she still wants Clarrie to help choose both that and the honeymoon.
Lovely. Looks like Clarrie has the caring kid (and daughter) she always deserved.
Freddie went out on his first hunt
And Oliver was impressed with how he handled it.
David’s not for vaccinating
Oliver has been talking badgers to David.
[David] “You know they’ve been trying alternative methods to culling … now he wants to try vaccination”
But that would mean a vaccination program over the while area, involving all the farms (big and small).
And it’d be a commitment for a whole 5 years, during which they’d have to trap every badger every year to vaccinate it.
David isn’t impressed, but as NFU president, he has to take it forward.
Actually – I’m hoping Oliver’s elixir process to do the trick. Really like the idea of farmers tip-toeing round badger sets to sprinkle the magic …
Bert came first
At Brampton Green ploughing competition.
Well done Bert.
Jim’s a good chap
Christine’s worrying about Ivy’s funeral. It’d mean Clive being in the village, near her home.
Seems Jim has a lecture to give at the U3A (University of the Third age), so David suggests she can either come to Brookfield, or:
[David] “Talk to Jim first. I’m sure held like to know how you feel”
But no need. Jim had already thought it through himself, and cancelled his lecture to take Christine out for the day instead.
[David] “Good all Jim, eh”
[Christine] “Oh it’s so sweet of him. He’s such a kind and sensitive man”
Indeed he is.
- Ploughing or Clive?
- Emma still worried about hereditary traits
- Jim’s definitely in …
- Angela Probert – Lynda’s savior
- Emma, a bit uptight?
- Jim leading Christine astray
- When Christine spotted Clive
- Bert comes second
Ploughing or Clive?
Looks like Emma and Ed would choose a ploughing competition every time.
They’ve sneaked George off to the competition, rather than let Clive take George bowling.
It seems Neil told Clive he wasn’t taking George out because Susan was to. That says something – a sister scared of her own brother.
But not to worry too much. George seems to be having a ball learning about ploughing.
Seems to have to get the “opening split”, the first cut, right to be sure that the rest of your ploughing will follow right. Emma is impressed by Ed’s knowledge of “old fashioned ploughing”, though Bert is happy to chat – he also has a match to win …
Emma still worried about hereditary traits
Emma’s just as scared of Clive as Susan is. She’s worried Clive won’t take any heed to Neil telling him to stay away from her and George.
[Emma] “Well you don’t turn into an arsonist and armed robber by listening to what people say!”
[Ed] “Clive’s a sicko. A one off”
Nature versus nurture?
I reckon Ed’s right. There must be a slim chance of George turning into a mini-Clive.
Jim’s definitely in …
… Christmas around the World.
Lynda wants his “Roman offering” (well, I suppose she’s had little to choose from).
When Christine asks Jim if he’s doing it in Latin or English – Jim reckons he has an idea (that Lynda also likes) that will solve the problem, but he won’t say what it is.
Angela Probert – Lynda’s savior
(not sure if it’s Probit or Probert)
Seems this Angela runs a dance school in Felpersham – so her and her kids might save Christmas Around the World.
[Jim] “Oh dear. Children and animals. It makes you long for the days of ancient Rome … they know how to celebrate a feast day … a few criminals thrown to the lions, a break for honey cake and wine, then back for gladiatorial combat .. o tempora o mores!”
Emma, a bit uptight?
Surely not (!).
David and Ruth are also at the ploughing match (to cheer Bert on, I’d imagine). George excitedly says to them:
[George] “Have you heard my news? My dad is getting married … Nic’s got a diamond ring!”
You could actually hear Emma seething in the background.
When David and Ruth are later chatting about it:
[David] “Is it just me, or did Emma seems a bit uptight?”
David though it might be because of Clive and Ivy, but Ruth spotted it was when Ge0rge mentioned Nic and Will getting married.
[Ruth] “Did you see her face? She’s not very pleased … I’ve a feeling Emma’s fine as long as she’s the centre of attention in her family, and that’s not going to happen for the next few months”
Jim leading Christine astray
[Christine] “I’m still not quite sure how I let you talk me into this Jim”
[Jim] “Good heavens Christine. You’ve made it sound as though I’ve invited you to participate in something truly sinful, It’s only lunch at The Bull!”
Christine reckons her problem is that Jim is taking her out for lunch too much. She wants to go Dutch.
[Jim] “I’m only doing what would come naturally to any gentlemen. Especially to one whose central heating has broke down …”
So they agree to split the bills.
Wonder if Christine is just still worried about what the neighbours will think …
When Christine spotted Clive
She’s understandably very shaken.
Although it was only a few seconds in real Ambridge time (seemed to take minutes in Ambridge Extra when Clive was muttering to himself), and Clive didn’t approach her and Jim.
[Jim] “And he walked away Christine. He clearly doesn’t want to see you anymore than you want to see him … oh my dear. You’re shaking … let’s get you home”
Had to happen sooner or later. At least our Gentleman Jim was on hand.
Bert comes second
Seems some bloke called Vernon Giddings won – he’s the new Jimmy Prentice (always pipping Bert to the post). Bert reckons it’s something to do with Vernon’s lucky horseshoe giving him the edge – it’s one Vernon found when he ploughed his first ever field at the age of 16.
What or who could be Bert’s lucky charm?
- David isn’t amused
- Neither is Mike
- Nor is Rhys
- Ploughing competition time again
- Lines that came to Bert in the night
- Mike takes the Michael out of Kenton
- …. Kenton showers twice sometimes
- Rhys for the Christmas Concert?
- Mike got the green job
David isn’t amused
Seems Ruth couldn’t go to the book club last night, but Usha phoned her first thing to tell her the news about Clive’s return.
David is aghast.
[David] “has the man has no shame?!?”
Later on, in The Bull, David is indignant of the chat about Clive.
After all, Clive has directly caused untold grief for his aunty, sister and mum.
[David] “It’s not the subject of title tattle. There are still too many victims in the village”
Neither is Mike
As Betty (his first wife) was held by Clive along with Debbie and co during the robbery. And she was stressed out for years after.
Nor is Rhys
Who has to be told the whole grotty tale of Clive from scratch.
That Clive used a shotgun.
That Susan went to prison for six months.
[Rhys] “she seems so respectable!”
[Bert] “But Clive coerced her and she weakened, they’re a very tribal family, the Horrobins”
That George had tipped the Police onto Clive.
[Rhys] “Good grief, we’ve gone from spaghetti westerns to the godfather”
That Clive had attached Shula and Alistair’s horses.
That Clive had set fire to Christine and George’s house when Christine and Jill were in it.
[Rhys] “No! The nutter!”
Seems Rhys has a lot to learn about Ambridge.
Ploughing competition time again
After having come third in the overall competition last year – Bert’s determined to better this year. And part of that will be to make sure he doesn’t break down.
But.
[Bert] “Vernon Goddings just acquired an early 60s English Fordson Super”
[David] “Has he by jove!”
That doesn’t sound good for Bert. So one assumes that’s a darn good tractor Vernon Goddings has got?
I had to look them up.
http://www.classicvintagetractors.co.uk/vintage-tractors-for-sale/fordson-tractors.html
Lines that came to Bert in the night
“His super major hits the ditch
“Vernon Goddings takes a skidding
“The judges think he’s on the drink
“And I ends up with the Beckwell cup”
[Bert] “It’s national poetry day, you know”
Actually, I didn’t.
So, nice to hear Bert’s contribution.
Mike takes the Michael out of Kenton
As does Rhys.
They both see him moving boxes of magazines out of Jolene – so jest him about him moving out already and what type of magazines they are …
So Kenton tells Rhys to “bike off”, though as Mike points out:
[Mike] “You can’t expect to live a private life in a public place, everyone’s going to know your business”
Kenton does admit he misses the gossip and space of Lower Loxley …especially as he had his own wing.
Tying to offload his 4x4 magazines (nothing untoward there then, just a bit nerdy) onto David and Ruth’s loft (to which they say no):
[Kenton] “I sense that she’s running out of patience, she keeps stubbing her toes on my many boxes of treasures”
[David] “Has she cottoned onto your cheesy feet yet, or hasn’t she past the romantic stage?”
Well, actually …
…. Kenton showers twice sometimes
Though he did bump into Fallon without a towel to cover his modesty.
She must be loving the new living arrangements (!).
Rhys for the Christmas Concert?
Seems Rhys has sung before, so once Lynda finds out, he’ll have no choice but to join.
I hope it goes well.
I’m going to miss the panto shenanigans.
Mike got the green job
It’s only a day or so a week – but Mike is chuffed he got the manager of the green burial site job.
Even though Jim will be his line manager.
And even though Clarrie had been going for it as well …
The Archers: Jazzer goes shopping … Josh and Ben, ‘Penny for the Guy’ … Lynda’s getting to the end of her Panton casting
- Jazzer doesn’t ‘get’ supermarkets
- “The lessor spotted Scots pigman in a supermarket”
- Proof that the BBC does not ‘make’ the archers
- Josh pimps Ben out
- Bert came third
- David gets railroaded
- Harry is not impressed
- Harry is keen to be a girl
- “Fill one hole, and another takes it place”
- “You big girl … on yer bike!”
- Why is Kenton being so helpful?
- The Panto Cast (so far) # 3
Jazzer doesn’t ‘get’ supermarkets
I think most of us can agree with Jazzer to one extent or another, but I’m finding it really hard to believe his claim that this was only the second time he’s been in charge of a trolley.
“Last time was selling dodgy video games door to door”
Mind you, maybe he meant he has been to a supermarket before, but he just used a basket. Or one of his many women to push his trolley, including his mum.
[Jazzer] “What’s the point of charging round a supermarket to queue up to buy stuff that you’ve got to spend hoors mucking about wae before you can eat it?”
[Jazzer] “They do great pies at the bull, or there’s the chippy van that does kebabs for a bit of variety – or the Indian and Chinese for a takeaway”
Ruth was left bemused at Jazzer’s indignation at having to buy, prepare and cook meals from scratch, as he marched off to persuade one of his wee lassies to let him buy his trolley load at the basket checkout. (well I never!)
I share Harry’s confusion at how Jazzer can treat his body so badly yet manage to pack in quite a busy day of work.
When’s it all going to catch up with him?
“The lessor spotted Scots pigman in a supermarket”
Ah, very drole Kenton (though it did make me chuckle!).
Kenton also spotted that Jazzer had chicken nuggets in his trolley, rightly then pointing out that it’s not exactly typical Harry nourishment.
Unless you can buy organic, free range, preservative/additive/colouring free chicken nuggets.
Proof that the BBC does not ‘make’ the archers
Jazzer was mentioning to Ruth his shock and horror of seeing Pip behind the wheel of a car. She seemingly nearly ran him off the road, being
“Faster than the Stig”
Would the BBC make mention of The Stig considering recent developments?
I think not.
(but then again, the more cynical amongst us might notice that Top Gear is building up to a new Stig and, if the BBC does make The Archers, Jazzer’s mention was some sort of publicity stunt. Hmmmmm)
Josh pimps Ben out
In an effort to get more ‘pennies for the guy’, Josh plonked Ben and The Guy in one spot, then hid round the corner.
With Ben just a wee young chap, they made a fortune!
Ruth and David didn’t seem to quite approve, but it shows a bit of cunning and could bode well for future sales at Brookfield.
I still think Pip can’t assume she’ll be the one to take over the family farm.
Bert came third
Despite Bert’s main competition being out of the running, Bert only came third in the overall ploughing championship.
Still, David and Ruth thinks is still a great result.
Good on you Bert.
David gets railroaded
You have to admire Lynda’s political manoeuvrings.
If she wants someone to do something, she’ll find a way of getting them to do it.
First she sets Vicky onto Mike (Mike gave in and is now in the Panto), now she sets herself onto David.
[Lynda] “I thought you might make it a family affair … pick up and drop off [Ben and Josh to rehearsals) anyway …what else could you do in such a short space of time?”
David’s poor attempt at saying he was too busy didn’t work. NFU paperwork was never going to be a good enough excuse for Lynda.
[David] “Oh good grief – why is it I can never say no to that woman?!?”
Never mind David. It’ll be a great laugh. Maybe at you, rather than with you …
Harry is not impressed
Harry gets home to find Jazzer has done the food shopping, but that he hasn’t put it away. The phone went, which helped Jazzer to forget about it.
What’s worse, Jazzer also hasn’t done a great job of the actual shopping.
[Harry] “Frozen pizzas … there’s a lot of crisps here”
[Jazzer] “You can never have too many potato backed snacks”
[Harry] “Processed meat …!”
[Jazzer] “Oh, this is great. My mum used to get it in tins and slice it up and fry it, but this is already sliced and battered. Genius or what!”
[Harry] “When I said get the 5 main food groups, I didn’t mean alcohol, chocolate, crisps, biscuits and cola …what about the fruit?”
[Jazzer] “It seemed a bit pricey … so I got blackcurrant cordial”
Jazzer then has to admit that he didn’t have the shopping list with him as he’d earlier used it to leave his mobile number for a “really fit bird”. As Jazzer said, maybe he should get some cards done …
Jazzer also didn’t get bleach because Harry is already blonde (so thought it must have been a mistake), and has invited in amazing chips which cook in seconds.
Despite all of that, Harry still didn’t even blow a fuse at Jazzer. He just left the flat to get to the Panto rehearsals half an hour early.
Come on Harry. As much as I like our Jazzer, he’s taking the utter rip out of you!
Harry is keen to be a girl
After escaping Jazzer by going early to rehearsals, Harry is found practising his lines by Lynda.
As she hears him read his lines as well as Dick’s, she has a light bulb moment, and offers Harry the part of Dick.
[Harry] “It’s meant to be played by a girl”
[Lynda] “Rules are meant for breaking – the secret to true creativity is flexibility”
And does Harry just jump at the chance! Good on him for stopping Lynda stalking every young woman in Ambridge. Even though she now had to recast Idle Jack:
But his eagerness with a bit off-putting.
There’s obviously nothing wrong with a bloke playing a bloke who should be played by a girl – but it’s yet another instance of Harry being overtly keen to get involved.
What is Harry all about?
“Fill one hole, and another takes it place”
So says Lynda, after casting Harry as Dick – which leaves no-one playing Idle Jack.
But yet again, Harry is a one-stop wonder.
“You really are riding to my rescue tonight”
Harry has an idea of how he can ask to be Idle Jack, which leads to …
“You big girl … on yer bike!”
I’m not sure why Harry thought Jazzer would be open to being in the Panto again, but it certainly wasn’t a good idea to try and make out that Jazzer should do it to make up for the disastrous shopping trip
[Harry] “I’m prepared to forget about the shopping incident …”
[Jazzer] “ Ah, very friendly oh ye pal … cheers”
[Harry] “… will you take my own part [Idle Jack]?”
[Jazzer] “Is this a wind up? Are you calling me idle because I forget your hair bleach, you big girl! On yer bike!”
Well, I suppose it was worth a shot.
It’s a shame, really. It’d be nice for Jazzer to have a wee singing part (after his extraordinary performance at Ambridge Has Talent).
Why is Kenton being so helpful?
The folks at The Bull can’t move for Kenton offering to help out.
This time, he’s bought well over £200 worth of fireworks for Bonfire night.
Even David is pleasantly surprised,
Kenton claims he just wants to “contribute”, and wants to make:
“an effort because it’s the first one without Sid, for Jolene and Fallon's sake … we should do him proud.”
Sorry? He’s doing all of this to make Sid proud?
That’s rubbish. They were hardly the best of pals when Sid was alive.
And doing it for Fallon and Jolene – that’s also rubbish. Friendly acquaintances yes, but hardly bosom buddies.
Surely this all has to be to impress Jamie.
Or Kathy???
The Panto Cast (so far) # 3
Jill: fairy beau bells
Vicky: Mrs Fitzwarren
Sabrina: Whittington’s cat
Nigel: Sarah the Cook (The Dame)
Harry: Dick Whittington
Richard Thwaite: King Rat
Nathan Booth: Rate Henchman 1
Eddie: Rat Henchman 2
Ben: little rat
Jim: The Imperial Majesty
David: Captain
Josh: First Mate
Robert and Neil constructing the sets
Daniel is helping with set and lighting
Mike: Mr Fitzwilliam
Which I think just leaves a lack of an Idle Jack and Alice.
Surely Lynda can now offer Eddie the part of Idle Jack.
And Alice – Fallon would jump at the chance to play across from Harry …
The Archers: the world revolves around Kate … Jennifer is still on about Alice’s marriage … David’s a man in demand … Bert’s not a happy chappy … Ruari thinks he’d done something wrong
- “I knew this would happen when she married Christopher”
- Ruari’s gingerbread man is angry
- Kate can’t even look after Ruari for 15 minutes
- Bert only has an hour …
- Wheat causes chaffing
- I hope that cow is okay
- Aw, wee Ruari
- Kate apologises!
- Pip’s new man
“I knew this would happen when she married Christopher”
Jennifer’s still very grumpy about Alice deciding to come back home to Felpersham to do her masters.
I’d agree with Jennifer that Alice would indeed be:
“narrowing her horizons”
if I for a moment, believed that Jennifer had actually taken the time to see if Felpersham was as dire for engineering as she suspects it to be.
This is nothing to do with the quality of College’s.
It’s purely Jennifer still being a snob about Chris. Still!
Ruairi’s gingerbread man is angry
Oh dear.
Aren’t proper alarm bells supposed to start ringing when a child creates ‘angry’ stuff like paintings? Or even gingerbread men?!?
Kate can’t even look after Ruairi for 15 minutes
First Kate automatically thinks Jennifer is stressing about her (when it’s Alice), then she can’t look after Ruari for a few moments to let Jennifer dash off on one her mini missions (to post a few letters).
“We are supposed to be a family”
Kate retorts that she thought Jennifer didn’t want her to interfere with Rurai, and that there’s always hell to pay when anyone jerks Ruairi’s routine out of kilter.
Which is true.
What’s fine for Kate is when it’s fine for Kate.
But also what’s fine for Jennifer is when it’s fine for Jennifer.
Is there something there about an apple never falling far from the tree?
Bert only has an hour …
… before he’s disqualified from his ploughing match.
Something’s broken, David needs to rush a new part down to Bert, but David seems to be getting interrupted at every turn.
David does eventually make it in time, but Bert only cam 6th (as he was all a fluster).
Will this really cost Bert the championship?
Wheat causes chaffing
According to David, the rise in the price of wheat has been a savour.
But it’s not quite had the same positive effect for Adam and Debbie.
They’ve seemingly had a row over Debbie demanding that Adam sell in a hurry, which turned out to be just before the price rocketed.
Oh dear. Setup for a family Christmas day row?
I hope that cow is okay
Didn’t that sound nasty?
One of David and Ruth cows went down with milk fever, which resulted in her being unconscious.
Some nifty work by Ruth and Pip seemed to do the trick, but I hope we do get updated.
Aw, wee Ruairi
After hearing the stooshie between Jennifer and Kate over Kat being a selfish besom, poor wee Ruairi thinks it’s all his fault.
Despite still nurturing a very odd accent, Rurai is such a toots. And a sensitive one to boot.
Has Brian Aldridge really fathered such a child?
Kate apologises!
But only after Jennifer apologised first. So I reckon that cancels it out.
Phew. Will Jennifer ever realise that Kate should have had a bloomin’ good clip round the ear many a moon ago?
Still, at least Kate is now going to help with Ruari’s birthday party.
What could possibly go wrong?!?
Pip’s new man
Well, not really, but David and Ruth certainly want him to be.
Some chap called Lucan has asked Pip to be his partner at the Young Farmer’s dinner dance.
Queue David and Ruth giggling like school girls.
David also had to mention ‘Juuude’
*shudder*
Lucan is more than welcome to woo our young Pip, but he shall be chased out with pick forks if he turns out to be like that other awful young man.
The Archers: Pip’s stressed about ticket sales … Bert’s a ploughing champ … Vicky’s bull calves go off to mart … Emma tells Susan and David/Ruth …
- Only 42!
- 106 might have mastitis
- Bert might win the county championship
- “Nice looking bunch of calves”
- “Sorry. There’s a bit of tea on there.”
- Susan’s not happy
- Why was David and Ruth so nervous?
- And then there’s Will
Only 42!
Pip’s target for the YFC Ball next Friday is 70.
She’s sold 42 and has 10 more days.
Why the stress, young lady? That’s bags of time.
As Pip later sold more to some of the local residents, I was a bit confused about how couples buying tickets only meant one more ticket sold.
Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe Pip should be selling one ticket per person? Just a thought …
106 might have mastitis
Aw!
I do prefer Ed’s habit of naming his cows.
There’s something a bit too clinical about Ruth and David’s numbering system.
Bert might win the county championship
With Bert’s “arch rival Jimmy Prentice” retired from ploughing competitions, Bert’s seemingly in a great place to win the trophy.
Winning today’s competition, he’s now second in the County Championship.
Is there no end to that man’s talents?
“Nice looking bunch of calves”
And here endeth the lesson.
Mike and Ed load up Vicky’s bull calves for the mart, with a rather upset Vicky watching over them to say goodbye (without interfering … her words, not mine).
Mike reckoned:
“that they’re going off for junk food is a shame”
At mart, the calves made £100 each. Which isn’t great:
[Vicky] “I knew it’d be bad, but after all me hard work …”
(Sorry Vicky – your hard work???)
But it means Vicky only owes Ed £350.
Mike also gave Ed another £30 (as he thought Ed’s cost didn’t really cover his time and effort), with both he and Ed glad this whole whim of Vicky’s is done and dusted.
[Vicky] “I’ve learnt on thing from this – don’t want to see another calf ever again … I just don’t think I could bear it”
Fair enough. Apart from the fact you live in the country. And your husband does a milk round.
Avoiding calves might be more difficult that you’d think, Vicky. The trick is not to get involved with farming when you haven’t got the stomach for the more hard of realities.
“Sorry. There’s a bit of tea on there.”
Ed’s rushed through the numbers, and has got his invoice ready for Vicky.
It even has the free bonus of some food matter smeared onto it.
Lovely.
Coming in at £1,150, Mike reckons the price is more than fair – and then also manages to pass the invoice off as properly detailed.
I’d have expected Vicky to make more of a fuss about it being so rushed, but she was obviously quite upset about her “beautiful boys” going off the mart …
Susan’s not happy
When Emma tells Susan that she’s pregnant, Susan is utterly delighted.
However, she’s not so chuffed that Clarrie already knows.
As Emma explained, Clarrie did guess
[Clarrie] “Well I’ve seen more of you than Clarrie, and I’ve never noticed”
But then again, Susan has been busy with Chris’ marriage and the Village Shop.
“By next April you’ll be a grandmother again!”
All nice and happy.
What a difference to when Helen told her family …
Why was David and Ruth so nervous?
Did they think Josh was back to being Emma’s stalker again?
They just seemed very reticent when Emma asked to speak to them. David even tried to leg it!
Anyway, they’re also delighted that Emma’s pregnant, and are fine with her taking time off.
And then there’s Will
I’m relieved someone has finally mentioned Will in relation to Emma’s baby.
[Ed] “This time he can’t say it’s not mine”
Jokes aside, Ed, it’s going to be tricky.
Emma was all for going to see Will, and tell him. But only when Nic was there (poor thing. Could you imagine the mood Will would be in after Ed and Emma left!).
[Ed] “I shouldn’t worry about it. He will find out soon enough”
I suppose we can’t expect Ed to anything less than utterly unconcerned about how Will feels about Emma having a baby with Ed.
But it’s not about Will – it’s more about the utter fury he’ll unleash on anyone and everyone hear him.
Seriously – I hope Nic has a panic button ready.
