- As it happened
- Nigel …
- Helen … and now also Henry Ian
- Did it shake our core?
- Twitterverse
As it happened
(whereas I normally give an overview, with opinion, for each instalment – I think this deserves a relatively clean version)
Lower Loxley
David and Ruth arrived to be greeted by Elizabeth and Nigel at Lower Loxley. Kenton had taken Josh and Ben off to play games, and even Pip had shunned her studying to be at the party.
[Elizabeth] “Once I could pry him lose from his harem at the Panto, he was a star” (at New Year)
[David] “You’ve both looking very relaxed”
[Nigel] “It’s been a lovely Christmas”
Ruth then made mention of how lovely Elizabeth’s brooch was – which was the one Nigel had gifted at New Year (it was his mum, Julia’s, found in a crack in the floor)
[Nigel] “We’ve got our second wind”
David then made a (red herring) mention of wanting to help Tony with his yard tractor.
And Nigel asked David to take down the banner tomorrow, as Kenton was busy at Jaxx.
Pat and Tony’s car
[Tony] “I’m not going to stay long”
[Pat] “Oh Tony, we’re not even there yet … it’ll be a good chance to see everyone”
[Tony] “I’ve got the tractor fixed now. There are things I could be getting on with.”
[Pat] “It’s a new start … can’t you make one with Helen?”
Lower Loxley
Crucially, Amy is at the party.
Ruth is up for a cup of tea as she doesn’t know who is going to be driving. Then David is spied drinking wine. I had a thought that maybe Pip would have to drive if Ruth then succumbed (Pip being a learner driver who is known to drive too fast).
All agree that Helen is looking well. Amy agrees, and mentions that she’s off duty.
[Pat] “It’s so lovely to see you”
[Helen] “You too mum. You too”
All predictions of Jolene getting into trouble (selling the bull or topping herself) are cast out by Brenda’s assertion that she was coping well at New Year. In fact, it was Fallon who had problems:
[Tom] “Harry and Jazzer circling her like predatory lions”
[Brenda] “Jazzer’s still recovering from happened last new year’s eve”
And Brenda then broke Fallon’s confidence by saying there was nothing in Fallon and Harry. Cause she’d heard it from the “lion’s mouth”
Tom then had a chat with a rather gloomy Tony:
[Tony] “John’s birthday (1st jan) … never an easy da … he would have been 35 … so one child dead, and another one not speaking to me. Not doing very well, am I. Not much of a father … failed both of them.”
Trying to gee Tony up, Tom said it would all change between with Helen soon enough …
Over to Helen and Pat – Helen had her feet up because of her swollen ankles. Which Pat thought looked particularly bad. Amy was then asked to have a look:
[Amy] “They are quite swollen ... you feeling alright otherwise?”
[Helen] “I have a bit of a headache … a few spots in front of my eyes”
[Amy] “I think you should see a doctor about this … this afternoon … I think you should go to the hospital … you need to be checked out properly”
Pat then asks Tony to drive them to the hospital.
[Tony] “Oh lord, has the baby started?”
While the folks at Lower Loxley sit tight, worried about Helen, Pat, Helen, Tom, Amy head off to the hospital, driven by Tony:
[Tom] “That light’s on red dad … you might want to slow down a bit then”
[Tony] “We’ll get them there, even if I have to jump a few of these”
Amy explained to Helen what would happen next – lots of tests, but a quick result.
Back at Lower Loxley:
[Elizabeth] “We can all wait for news of Helen together”
Brenda’s still at Lower Loxley, and gets the news that Helen has preeclampsia, which is dangerous for both Helen and her baby.
At the hospital
The doctor explains to Helen that there are high levels protein in her urine. Substances from her placenta are getting into her blood stream, leading to high blood pressure and a serious risk of damage to Helen’s kidney and liver.
The upshot of which is that Helen’s baby will have to be delivered early – 6 weeks early – if either have a chance of survival.
[Helen] “My poor baby … is there really else nothing else you can do … but I won’t see the baby when it’s first born”
[Doctor] “We can operate using a spinal anaesthetic … Helen will be awake the whole time”
On checking that Helen can have someone else with her, Tony very quickly states that it should be Pat. So, off Helen is sped off for an emergency caesarean.
[Tom] “Oh lord … I didn’t say … it was so quick”
Back at Lower Loxley
All are worried about Helen (while sitting around the fire), with the kids packed off to watch a film in another room.
The ever dependable Lewis is in the kitchen clearing up, and Brenda heads off to join him in making some snacks (for the kids).
Nigel then suggests they take the banner off now, to save David having to come over tomorrow.
[Elizabeth] “It’s dark … the wind is getting up”
And she tells David and Nigel to go and help Lewis. Even though Nigel reckons it’d be fine to take the banner down as they can have the floodlights on …
Back at the hospital:
[Tony] “I didn’t say anything to her … What I wanted to say, I didn’t say it … she might die … and she won’t know … she won’t know how sorry I am … I haven’t supported her … I’ve been against this every step of the way … I don’t know why now … when I think this I might lose both of them”
Just as Tom is telling Tony that everything will be okay, Pat comes out of theatre:
[Pat] “She’s fine … She’s had the baby and she’s fine … It’s a boy … A beautiful baby boy … Tony, we’ve got a grandson … He’s fine …”
[Tony] “Oh Amy … thank you … what we owe to you …”
[Amy] “Congratulations granddad and uncle tom!”
[Tony] “I’m a grandfather, I really am!”
[Amy] “How you finding it?”
[Tony] “It’s wonderful. I love it!”
Back at lower Loxley
As everyone is clearing up in the kitchen, Brenda breaks the good news that Helen and baby are fine. Nigel wants to crack open the bubbly (making me worried about what damage the cork could inflict).
[Brenda] “I’m just glad it had such a happy ending”
[Ruth] “All’s well that ends well”
[Elizabeth] “what a relief”
As Elizabeth and Ruth head through to tell the rest of the family, Nigel starts to head to the cellar for the champagne.
But, David suggest they head in the opposite direction. To the roof.
[David] “They’re going to be ages chewing the fat about this”
[Nigel] “But Lizzie said we shouldn’t”
[David] “Come on – are you a man or a mouse … I really would rather do it today while I’m here … better to do it before we start knocking that back!”
[Nigel] “Lizzie will never know. I shall present her with a fait accompli in the morning”
Back at the hospital
Tony is allowed in to see his grandson – even though the poor man said he’d be fine with still being barred.
[Helen] “Dad … come and look at him”
[Tony] “Oh Helen. Are you alright?”
[Helen] “Come and meet Henry … Henry Ian”
(and I have to mention the lovely moment of Helen confirming Henry is perfect. In typical Helen fashion, she even counted his toes. Probably twice…)
Tony melts when he meets his grandson. And Helen shushes him when he tries to apologise for previous behaviour.
[Tony] “My beautiful daughter., and now you’ve given me this beautiful grandchild. I am so happy”
Back at Lower Loxley
(David and Nigel, on the roof, trying to take down the banner)
[David] “I didn’t realise we’d be this high up”
[Nigel] “Roofs do tend to be ontop of things”
[David] “Your gutters need cleaning out …”
[Nigel] “Careful. It’s frosty. It’s so much easier in the light”
(as David nearly slips)
[Nigel] “Maybe lizzie wasn’t right. Maybe this Wasn’t such a good idea after all.”
[Nigel] “I have been clamouring over these roofs since I was a child … it was mine and daddies little secret .. all the footholds … secret Pargetter knowledge, passed down from father and son …”
[David] “And I just learned how to milk!”
[Nigel, on trying to free his end of the banner] “Kenton seems to have tied it on with one of his sailor knots”
[Nigel] “Dear daddy, we had so much fun together … I wonder if Freddie and lily are too young to come out here.”
[David] “I’d imagine Elizabeth would have something to say about that”
[Nigel] “I imagine she would … she’s rather like mummy in some ways … I’ve been very lucky to have two such fantastic women in my life”
[Nigel] ….oh, blast. Stupid thing has got itself tangled up. I just need to be a bit higher. I’m alright. I’ve got it now. I’ll just ….”
(Nigel slips)
[David] “Nigel!”
[Nigel] “David!”
[David] “Nigel hang on …”
[stomach churning scream from Nigel as he loses grip and falls]
…
Nigel …
I sincerely hope this won’t be the last time I’ll be able to blog about Nigel as an alive resident of Ambridge.
It was hard to tell who was for the chop today – lots of red herrings, and lots of (what could have been) final words of love from numerous couples and parents.
But alas. The chop did fall, and it fell on one of our consistently nice Ambridge fellows.
As I mentioned on previous days, the brooch was a very odd one. That it was found,. That Nigel was hell-bent on giving it as a New Year’s gift (does anyone ever give more than booze at New Year?). And that it was him mother’s.
Seems that it was always destined to be a parting token of Nigel’s love.
Still. We don’t know whether Nigel has survived that fall. It could just be a nasty bump on the head. It’s maybe more appropriate to wait to hear more over the next few days.
Either way, that scream will stay with me for a very long time …
Helen … and now also Henry Ian
All I have to say is HURRAH!
Helen survived the cull. Her and Tony have stopped arguing. And all seems well.
If you wanted Helen to die … shame on you indeed!
Did it shake our core?
Well, it could have been worse.
There was no en masse Ambridge resident deaths. No fires. Aeroplane crashes. Or Tram crashes(!).
But that scream …
It was enough to shake me, and that it happened to the (mainly) adored Nigel was horrific in itself.
If Nigel has died, it was a nasty end to a thoroughly decent chap.
Kenton will feel guilty for that knot – David will feel guilty for getting Nigel up there tonight, and not getting to him in time before he fell. And Elizabeth will feel guilty that Nigel was just trying to do a nice thing.
As a quick aside – wasn’t David also unable to help Jethro when he died???
Twitterverse
Here’s an abridged account of my reactions just before, during and just after this instalment, on Twitter (as @thearchersfan)
Pre-7pm
- Attempt to get Helen, Peggy, Nigel, Lynda & Jazzer to St Stephens for safety has failed. You're on your own!
- Helen. I'm here for you. No matter what.
- Goodness I adore us #archers eavesdroppers. BBC cloud shows 'wine' as well as 'tea' trending ;)
- @vencut2 We're all in it together ;)
At 7pm (and then during)
- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
- Brooch of death makes an early entrance
- There it is! The #sattc is revealed at last. Helen's ankles are swollen. Phew
- Told you - Helen's ankles. Amy says so
- "Helen has swollen ankles and a headache shocker!"
- Come on Helen. Shut up and let them save you and the bairn
- [half way through] I only have the usual length of #archers stamina. Not sure I can go this extended length
- No David - not the dishwasher!
- It's a Boy!
- @millietomos This is too much. Stopped breathing at 17 mins!
- Hang on. Doesn't Uncle Tom refer to something else ....
- No Nigel. Not the bubbly! The cork man - the cork!
- For feuck sake - not - the - feucking - banner!
- Yay! Helen lives! With Baby boy. Henry Ian.
- @UncannyVal It's a New Year banner ontop of Lower Loxely's roof. Dangerous ...
- Yup. Nigel. They surely couldn't do David???
- I respect all of my fellow #archers eavesdroppers - but one in yer eye if you wanted Helen to die ;)
- My giddy aunt. Got the sweats at 'frosty'
- [After the scream] I'm in tears
- Going offline for a wee bit to sob in a corner. That scream .....
- Emma’s jealous as well as lazy …
- Kenton made Page 13
- Is that because of the snow?
- Are Kenton and Nigel on drugs?
- “It’s never too young to introduce the young to the performing arts”
- Helen needs Lynda and Robert
- “I’m afraid he’ll be gently steaming all through his Chinese meal tonight”
- What’s Nigel on about?
=
Emma’s jealous as well as lazy …
[Kenton] “Emma had a face as long as a fiddle when I jumped out at her from behind the wheelie bin”
[Elizabeth] “I heard her moaning to Pip … something about Nic being Clarrie’s blue eyed girl”
So can we now look forward to Emma having a go at Nic, as well as Will casting his hooks into Ed?
Either way – if Emma’s put out that Clarrie is singing Nic’s praises – maybe Emma should try and help out more.
Quite simple, really
Kenton made Page 13
While he, Nigel and Elizabeth seem quite delighted about.
That’s a funny thing.
Being quite a connoisseur of local papers myself, I know that the latter pages are great for the WRI and Rotary roundups – but a bit of a cemetery for ‘news’.
Is that because of the snow?
I am getting obsessed about the lack of snow and freezing temperatures in Ambridge.
I thought Elizabeth was about to mention that Lily’s present was late to be delivered because of the weather but … no … no reason at all.
What’s going on?
Even if it’s perfect weather in Ambridge, why isn’t the fact that the rest of the UK is falling apart even merit a mention?
Even Lynda wasn’t worried about how Oscar and co were going to get to Ambridge.
Odd.
Hmmm …
Are Kenton and Nigel on drugs?
What on earth were Nigel and Kenton thinking?
So Elizabeth needs to relax. Delegate a bit better. Have fun. Break a smile …
And the solution is obvious.
All Elizabeth needs is for her husband and brother to dress up as highwaymen, switching place to make her think she’s seeing double (‘but he’s down there, when he was just over there’).
But of course!
(eh???)
There was a nearly funny moment when Elizabeth couldn’t get Kenton to come out (!), but then got a bit weird:
[Elizabeth] “It’s the first time I ever found a highway man in my bed”
Thankfully, it was Nigel in bed with her.
Nope. I’m sorry to say that it just didn’t work, chaps.
Both dressing as Rick Turnip to confuse Elizabeth was a prank of sorts, but I don’t get how it really made Elizabeth realise that she needs to relax more often.
I guess the proof will be in the (Christmas) pudding.
“It’s never too young to introduce the young to the performing arts”
So says Lynda.
Though I think more adult men would be more suitable for stroking “the cat’s lovely fur coat …”
Helen needs Lynda and Robert
Well, to be more exact, Helen needs her child to have grandparents like Lynda and Robert.
As she watches Lynda dotting over baby Oscar (and does seem genuinely grateful for Coriander’s baby cast-offs), it hits home that her child might never experience such unconditional love.
So what to do?
Accept that Tony will be Tony, and try to make amends in the hope that he will melt eventually?
Keep cutting Tony out, to concentrate on the genuinely supportive Grandma Pat?
Difficult.
And a shame that Ian wasn’t on hand to advise and comfort.
Phew! The baby hasn’t even been born yet, but Helen already seems to be struggling alone.
“I’m afraid he’ll be gently steaming all through his Chinese meal tonight”
I like Lewis.
He has a rather nifty turn of phrase, and is a decent sort of a chap.
What’s Nigel on about?
[Nigel] “I’ve been watching Fallon and Harry … I just wondered … they’re behaving like very good friends … after that kiss, I thought there might be something more …”
Well we all did, and were left just as confused about Harry, but why is Nigel so interested?
Has he sniffed out the real reason for Harry?!?
- And Oscar makes Five
- Clothes?
- Overly confident? Our Lynda???
- Tom’s Sausages to the rescue!
- Helen’s making it up
- “Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
- Classic Susan and Vicky
- Who mixed up the sheet labels?
- Tom is brilliant at Guitar Heroes
- This is the #sattc
And Oscar makes Five
I know Lynda is a resident that folks either love or loathe – but it’s always nice to hear her so happy about baby Oscar.
Corriander, Justin and Oscar will be with Robert and Lynda tomorrow (weather permitting, surely?!?). Which makes Lynda happy enough to splash out on organic gnocchi and some Borchester Blue for the sauce (my, Helen’s a great saleswoman!).
Maybe Helen will also be glad of their arrival. Coriander seems keen to catch-up with her about all things baby – and Helen could certainly do with more folks who support her without question …
Clothes?
I’m undecided as to whether Helen was offended at Lynda’s mention of Coriander’s offer of some of Oscar’s cast-off baby clothes,
Or, whether Helen hadn’t actually started thinking about clothes yet.
Surely it can’t be the latter?
Overly confident? Our Lynda???
[Lynda] “One doesn’t like to jinx things by being overly confident”
No, we could never accuse Lynda of such an attitude.
After all, just look at the buffoons she’s got to work with …
It was seemingly the “tech” rehearsal tonight, but we didn’t get to eavesdrop in.
I wonder whether Harry and Fallon have practised ‘that’ kiss yet.
Tom’s Sausages to the rescue!
Remembering that she still has a son, Pat tells Tom about the recent spat between Tony and Helen.
Pat thinks Helen isn’t responding to Tony because Helen thinks it’s actually not Tony trying to make amends – that it’s Pat pushing Tony to do so.
My. How the trust has been broken.
[Pat] “It’d be ridiculous if it wasn’t so sad”
So Plan D is Pat sending Tom over to Helen’s to try and make sure she will be joining the family for Christmas eve.
Ahem! Tom’s not exactly known for his tact and diplomacy.
BUT, he actually does the trick.
Well, nearly.
Tom does manage to persuade Helen to be at Bridge Farm for Christmas Eve (“just do it for mum”), but she’s now refusing to stay over.
Ah well. Looks like the whole Bridge Farm clan will be making baby steps …
Helen’s making it up
Helen’s not gaining any support for her point of view (amongst us eavesdroppers) by having a very selective view of what happened the other day with Tony. On talking with Tom:
[Tom] “Look Helen, you know he’s rubbish at showing how he feels. He keeps it bottled up.”
[Helen] “Bottled up? Tom, If only! … Practically turned into a slanging match outside the shop”
I am on Helen’s side (mostly) but no. It was not a slanging match. It was you shouting at a rather shell-shocked and upset Tony.
But then again, Helen also explained a bit more about why she’s so upset with Tony:
[Helen] “I’m worrying about it all the time. I wanted a granddad my baby could love … they know when someone doesn’t love them … children somehow believe it’s their fault”
[Tom] “You’re running too far ahead”
[Helen] “You can’t make someone feel something that isn’t there, can you?”
I hate to say this, but Tom does have a point.
Hand up how many of you believe Tony will melt when he sees his first grandchild …
“Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
Despite Tom actually managing being a successful diplomat for once, his good old self was never far from the surface.
On trying to explain to Helen that he’s also had problems with Tony, he used the example of when they fell out over him moving his pigs to home farm:
[Tom] “I’ve done my fair share of biting my tongue over his comments”
[Helen] “Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
Whoops!
Classic Susan and Vicky
(talking about Susan’s Christmas Eve party)
[Vicky] “There’s nothing like a party to kick-start the Christmas season”
[Susan] “It’s not that kind of party”
[Vicky] “There’s only one sort of party, isn’t there?”
[Susan] “I suppose it depends on the circles you mix in”
(on dismissing Vicky’s intelligence that the supermarket has some rather nifty party food)
[Susan]” …I’m serving canapés … and I’m making them all myself … it’s the sort of thing Brian and Jennifer expect”
Hang on.
Haven’t we been here before?
Susan tries out an overambitious new recipe. Which was always bound to go wrong. Just before Brian and Jennifer arrive.
You’d think Susan would learn.
Who mixed up the sheet labels?
Just as Pat’s packing Tom off to do Tony’s job, she gets a call from Lynda about a slight yoghurt issue.
It turns out that the Strawberry was raspberry.
With the bigger problem being that where one has been incorrectly labelled, there will be others.
I think this was one more problem too many for Pat. She marched through to the diary – demanded of Vicky and Susan to work out what had gone wrong – then was rather harsh with Vicky when they all worked out it was probably her fault.
Vicky hadn’t checked the label sheets as she was using them, plus hadn’t been wearing her glasses.
But isn’t Vicky new on the job? And why was the labels mixed up in the first place?
Either way, Vicky’s made a mistake, but it was purely human error. And her glasses were new and rubbing her.
As Pat then found out Vicky’s mistake had gone on Underwoods stock as well as Ambridge Organics, she flatly (and rudely) turns down Vicky’s offer to drive through rush hour with new stock.
[Pat] “Oh that would look good, wouldn’t it! Sending someone else to do my apologising for me. I’ll have to do it myself. I really could have done without this!”
Step back, ladies and gentleman. She’s goanna blow!
Tom is brilliant at Guitar Heroes
(that should actually read ‘Tom proclaims himself to be brilliant at Guitar Heroes’)
At least he is getting out of the house. And, from what Tom was saying, it seems Harry’s becoming a bit more relaxed about having the ‘lads’ over.
Question is – has anyone (anywhere) seen Brenda lately?!?
The #sattc has happened. Did you miss it?
(sattc is Twitter shorthand for the Shaking Ambridge to the Core, regarding the seemingly big happening of Jan ’11. I still have no idea how the BBC can predict such things …)
(Tom and Pat talking about Helen coming home for Christmas)
[Pat] "She’s not staying over?”"
[Tom] “I tried but she just wants her own space”
[Pat] “I wish she and your father could put it all behind them … it’s horrible … I hate to think of her waking up on her own on Christmas day”
[Tom] “If she does, remember it’s the last time she’ll have too. All being well, she’d be hanging up a little stocking and be waking up at the crack of dawn”
The shock! The Horror!
Tom Archer.
Said something.
That’s kind, thoughtful and wise …
(I’m off to lie down in a dark room)
- “Vicky was a godsend”
- Kenton’s spreading himself around for Christmas
- Jim and Ruth’s mum?
- Now they’re just trying to wind us up!
- “Rick Turnip at the ready”
- That’s better, Tony
- Helen’s a stubborn one
“Vicky was a godsend”
So says Pat.
So have we got Vicky wrong? Is she actually a useful human being after all?
Kenton’s spreading himself around for Christmas
Ah, the joys of being single at Christmas.
It sounds like Kenton’s going to be doing mini visits to the whole family.
Nice to hear that Shula still visits the Hebden’s at this time of year.
Here’s hoping the snow doesn’t finally arrive in Ambridge, trapping everyone inside with their nearest and dearest …
Jim and Ruth’s mum?
That could be an interesting one.
Jim’s taking Heather out to Jaxx, despite it being very busy with office parties.
Is there romance in the air?
Probably not.
Considering Kenton & Jolene, Kenton & Kirsty, Kirsty & Patrick, Fallon & Jazzer, Fallon & Harry, Helen & … well …any man – it hasn’t quite been a year for new couples.
Teasers!
Now they’re just trying to wind us up!
Elizabeth knows full well that saying she’s bought a top of the range mobile phone for her eleven year old daughter was bound to annoy us eavesdroppers!
Almost makes one glad it’s stuck in the post …
“Rick Turnip at the ready”
Looks like Kenton’s Mystery Highway Man is a roaring success.
Elizabeth was hooting was laughter, as he jumped out on some unsuspecting wee kids for a newspaper photographer, and it seems to be bringing in the punters.
Not sure how a Highway Man fits into the Christmas theme of Deck the Halls (maybe because it’s a period piece), but each to their own.
Just a shame they manage, for the second year in a row, to get publicity in the local newspaper just at the very end of their efforts.
That’s better, Tony
It was hard to tell if Tony’s new effort as a gift for Helen was actually any good or not – Ian’s the sort of chap to be nice about anything.
But it sounded quite lovely.
And it was nice to hear Tony talking like a dad again. He made mention of the amount of time Helen had to spend on her cot because of her splints (she was born with a dislocated hip). And that’s why he choose a mobile for her baby – something interesting and colourful to like at from the cot.
And blimey – Tony’s even managed to make sure it matches the new nursery décor!
Helen wasn’t in when Tony went round with his present. When he speaks to Pat later, she isn’t sure whether Tony should have popped round again later, rather than just leaving it …
Pat also had no idea that Tony had been trying to make amends. So equally, she didn’t know that yesterday was yet another disaster:
[Tony] “Yes well, the thought was there … but it was dreadful Pat …it was humiliating, I felt like a real idiot.”
[Pat] “What happened?”
[Tony] “You know how she gets … she shut down …I suppose she thought if I didn’t remember I didn’t care … I could kick myself for not remembering … but I thought I was doing a good thing”
On Pat asking why he didn’t mention it to her – as she’d have been able to remind him that he’d seen the baby monitor she’d already bought for herself:
[Tony] “I wanted to do something for her completely off my own bat, just for once. Hopefully I’ve got it right this time”
Okay. Fair enough Tony.
You did your best, but managed to get muddled. And you do deserve more effort from Helen.
I suppose it isn’t too late to try and make up for your mistakes.
Tony also decides not to go back round to see Helen, or to phone her. Which leaves the ball entirely in her court
Helen’s a stubborn one
Who’d have thought it, being the daughter of Pat and Tony …
Despite thinking that the mobile is “gorgeous”, Helen still won’t give Tony any credit.
She thinks this is all Pat’s doing.
As Tony spends an anxious evening waiting for his phone to ring, it seems unlikely that Helen’s going to forgive him until she realises that he is trying.
What a useless pair!
- Ian’s such a sweetie
- Tony calls round
- Helen’s reading too much into it?
- Is that snow?
- Alice is back
- Odd comment from Ian
- Nigel – bad, bad, bad!
- Loving the German Christmas songs
Ian’s such a sweetie
Bless.
It’s his busiest time of the year, yet he’s using every spare moment he has to help paint Helen’s nursery.
He’s even offering to give an old rocking horse the “once over with white spirit and linseed oil”.
If this was just typical lovely Ian behaviour, one would be forgiven for thinking all was not well at home with Adam …
Tony calls round
Regardless of what I think about Tony, it did take a lot of guts to call round at Helen’s.
And shows a genuine want to apologise and make amends.
But, it being Tony, he manages to just make everything worse.
He brought Helen a gift of a baby monitor. Which she’d already bought. And shown to both Pat and Tony at Bridge Farm. Months ago.
Oh dear.
Knowing Tony, he didn’t take much notice in the first place, but it’s a major faux pas which only confirms to Helen that he’s never been interested.
So Tony – what’s Plan B?
Helen’s reading too much into it?
I thought Helen just sounded sad and disappointed when Tony gave her the baby monitor, rather than the fury she let fly last time they saw each other.
Ever canny, Ian’s spotted that there’s a problem. As Helen tells him about the baby monitor:
[Ian] “He meant well …”
[Helen] “You don’t need to make excuses for him”
[Ian] “Tell me why you’re giving him such a hard time?”
[Helen – telling Ian about when Tony tried to carry some of her shopping] “Instead of just giving me a hand, he had to turn it into a moral victory. Going on about how sad it was me having to do these things all on my own…”
[Ian] “That doesn’t sound like the Tony I know”
[Helen] “I don’t recognise the dad I thought I knew either”
[Ian] “Maybe he just put his foot in it, he didn’t mean it at all”
[Helen] “He just can’t help himself, consciously or not, he just can’t accept the choices I made about having my baby …”
[Ian] “Surely the present he brought round was meant to be a peace offering?”
[Helen] “No it wasn’t. I expect mum told him to do it … if really did meant to show me he’d changed he’d have put some thought into what to buy”
(Ian suggests that maybe Tony just rushed and genuinely forgot she already had bought, and had shown him, and discussed, a baby monitor)
[Helen] “No, he’s blanked it,. He blanks everything to do with the baby”
[Ian] “You might be wrong you know. It could be much more complicated than that for Tony”
[Helen] “He can’t even bear to think about my baby … he can’t look forward to it … you’re looking more forward to it than he is … nothing will change. I’ll just have to get used to it.”
Phew again!
At least Helen is calmer, and I think she does have a very valid point about Tony’s opinion and attitudes to her.
Just as it’s taken him a long time (and a bit of a set-to) to try and meet her halfway, she’s also lost her trust in him as her dad.
Come on Uncle Ian and Aunty Pat. Sort them out!
Is that snow?
Nope.
It was just a queue for the supermarket.
No tailbacks in Ambridge due to bad weather!
Alice is back
And peeping at Jill as she drives past with Chris.
The clans are a-gathering!
Odd comment from Ian
[Ian] “It’s that of year, everyone get s bit fraught. Still, if we didn’t have the falling out, we wouldn’t have the lovely making up!”
Hmmm.
Not sure about you Ian, but that’s not the way I’d put the ‘making up’ after an argument with one of my folks.
Nigel – bad, bad, bad!
Lily is still in a sulk about Freddie being a rat in the Panto.
So, instead of telling her to stop being so selfish – Nigel seemed to basically say ‘Freddie’s a thicko, so give him this one thing’.
[Nigel] “You can turn everything you turn your mind to … I expect Freddie’s been a bit of a pain … Freddie has to put up with you succeeding all the time”
Great parenting skills there, Mr Pargetter – it’s alright Lily. You’re still superior.
He managed to get Lily to stop sulking, and actually help Freddie with his lines, but it felt like Lily was only helping Freddie because he’s dense – and that she and Nigel now have a secret knowledge that Freddie is just rubbish at most things.
Loving the German Christmas songs
Marvellous!
- Who is mum?
- Pat can’t get through to Helen
- Slow day? Use a Skype delay!
- Aunty Kathy?
Who is mum?
No wonder Phoebe’s confused – who is mum?
I’m not criticising Phoebe for seeing both Hayley and Kate as her mum, but she also switched to calling Kate ‘Kate’ when she’s talking to Roy.
Bless her. She’s too busy taking care of all the adult’s feelings to have a moment to work out her own feelings.
Pat can’t get through to Helen
Rather than Tony facing up to Helen, he sends Pat round.
Well, I don’t know if he asked her or whether she’s gone to speak to Helen of her own accord, but surely Tony can see that Helen needs him to be her dad. Doesn’t that involve talking to her when things go awry?
Either way, it’s Pat who’s the advance party.
[Pat] “Can’t you just accept that whatever dad said yesterday … you can see how upsetting this is for all of us … not just me, your father … so he’s not the most tactful person on the world …”
[Helen] “Oh, so it was all a big misunderstanding, was it? Mum, it was no big surprise, surely we all know exactly how he feels about this baby … he hates this whole idea”
[Pat] “That’s not fair Helen, you’re not giving him a chance …Whatever he might have said, he’s still your father”
[Helen] “If he cares so much why is he so much again against me …if it’s not because I’m a failure that I can’t have a proper relationship”
Pat keeps trying to at least get Helen to see that she needs to talk to Tony, but she’s having none of it.
Just as she nearly drove Tony to tears yesterday, she does the same to Pat.
[ Helen] “I think it’s probably best if you go now”
Unless Helen does calm down, it will be a bit of a tough time at Bridge Farm during Christmas …
Slow day? Use a Skype delay!
Ah, we’re all used to the slower days in Ambridge being filled with long discussions about nothing – or worse still, talk of technical financial matters (which is nearly every time Brian and Annabelle are in the same).
This time, as Phoebe speaks to Kate over her computer, there’s quite a significant relay delay.
Did Brian buy them both a cheap computer – or was this really just a filler?
Either way – Kate’s her usual selfish self. Phoebe had earlier on mentioned that it was unfair of Kate to go away just as they were getting to know each other. So to make matters worse, Kate doesn’t really ask Phoebe about what she’s been up to – waffles on about her own doings in South Africa – then rings off early as she has stuff to do.
Roy tries to make Phoebe feel better, but damage done.
[Phoebe] “I was just getting to know her, and then she goes away”
[Roy] “Cheer up, eh! Cause we’re going to have such a good Christmas”
Now, if Hayley could spill a cup of tea in the right place, maybe we could really have peace from Kate for the next few weeks …
Aunty Kathy?
My word! I never thought I’d see the day.
Kathy. Listening to Aunty Pat. Rather than talking about Jamie. To Pat.
[Pat] “It’s all too upsetting … Feels like we’re back to square one, or worse …Tony was shocked and hurt – he daren’t go near her”
[Kathy] “From what you say, Helen must be hurting too”
[Pat] “She want’s Tony’s approval more than anything … If only she’d admit it, she needs him too”
Kathy at least end an ear, but her advice isn’t actually up to much. She waffled on about time moving on … things change … and that Christmas will sort it.
Aye, right then!
Christmas is hardly known for families getting on. Isn’t it more likely that, being trapped in one house all together, they’ll all just kick off again?
I think it’s going to take more than a turkey and a few crackers to resolve Tony and Helen’s differences.
- Tony’s savoys are a bit scrappy
- Susan and Vicky: the village megaphone
- “and she catches turkeys too!”
- “Lily is in a complete paddy”
- Jill has another go
- Helen’s not impressed with Kenton
- Helen explodes at Tony
- Where’s Kenton’s Mystery highway man going?
- Pat has no answers for Tony
Tony’s savoys are a bit scrappy
Oh dear.
What else could go wrong …
Susan and Vicky: the village megaphone
Tony’s talking about how well Vicky and Susan are getting on in the dairy.
Vicky is no Clarrie (well, who is?), but I suppose half the battle with keeping your staff productive is to keep them happy.
Susan and Vicky are most certainly never more happy than when they can have a right old gossip.
“and she catches turkeys too!”
Nic’s certainly winning over a lot of Ambridge resident fans with her genuine care for Clarrie during her time of need.
She’s practical, she’s on-hand at the right time – and (as Tony said) she can even catch turkeys.
What a lady!
“Lily is in a complete paddy”
Lily’s upset because Freddie’s a rat in the Panto.
Freddie’s upset because he failed a mock maths test, which Lily nailed.
So as all good siblings, they turn on each other.
Jill has another go
As per usual with our Jill – once she’s decided her opinion, there’s little chance of shifting her, or encouraging her to stop preaching.
[Jill] “But Lewis, if he’s this upset if he fails a practise paper, how will he feel if he feels the real thing?”
For once, I think Jill is quite right. While it’d be nice for the twins to go to the same school, is it worth Freddie having an utterly miserable schoolife?
Elizabeth doesn’t actually seem that keen, but she’ll have to get Nigel to drop his very fixed ideas that only Private schools can deliver a decent education.
Helen’s not impressed with Kenton
Kenton puts his foot in it at the best of times, but he really didn’t deserve the roasting Helen dealt him.
[Kenton] “I wish I had a bump like yours, I could just stick it out in front and barge my way through”
[Helen] “What? Believe me Kenton, it does not work like that!”
Helen then seemed to be annoyed that Kenton was even in the baby department in the first place. The poor chap was only using it as a shortcut.
Kenton makes things worse by then assuming the steam steriliser kit Helen was buying was for the dairy. Oops.
Helen refuses Kenton’s quite nice offer to lug the steriliser to the till for her, but he just won’t leave it:
[Kenton] “I’m good at this. It’s like some kind of extreme sport – till barging the baby department, dodging these yummy mummies with their strollers, broody couples lugging cot mattresses …”
[Helen] “I don’t need your help … we don’t want them to think we’re not just another ‘broody couple’, do we?!?”
Ouch.
Kenton needs to learn when to shut up, but Helen is most certainly not full of Christmas spirit at the moment.
Helen explodes at Tony
Kenton’s run in with Helen was nothing compared to what then happened with Tony.
As Helen struggles home with her shopping (dropping a bag as a rather noisy and fast care went by), Tony happens to be passing and offers to help.
Tony was genuinely concerned that Helen seemed to be carrying a lot of shopping, but Helen was having none of it.
[Tony] “You shouldn’t be lugging that stuff in your condition”
(as he tries to take one of the bags, it drops)
[Helen] “Now look! You idiot!!!”
[Tony] “Sorry, I was only trying to help … I was just doing my best. I hate to see you like this”
[Helen] “Like what?”
[Tony] “Seven months pregnant and struggling all on your own, with no-one there to help you”
[Helen] “Oh right, here we go, that’s what it’s really about isn’t it? Me and this baby. You think it’s a crazy, bad, selfish idea. You made that quite clear from the start …”
[Tony] “Helen, no …”
[Helen] “You think it’s wrong, I’m totally naïve, I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough without a man there to support me”
[Tony] “I didn’t mean that at all”
[Helen] “Oh come on, why deny it? I’ve had to put up with your snide comments, your negative attitude for the last 6 months, why stop now?”
[Tony] “Come on Helen, that’s not fair!”
[Helen] “Fair!?! I’ve had nothing from you. Not a word of support or encouragement. You’ve been against me every step of the way”
[Tony] “I’m not against you Helen …”
[Helen] “So why don’t you show it? Why don’t you just give me a chance, believe in me, be supportive? … Well, isn’t that what a father’s meant to do? Stand by me, be on my side?”
[Tony] “Yes and I do. I am ..>”
[Helen] “Oh please, don’t lie to me dad, it’s pathetic … I don’t need this. I can do without this. I can do without you.”
[Tony] “No please, calm down …”
[Helen] “Just go. Just leave me alone please!”
Phew!
That was the sound of Helen’s ticking time bomb finally going off.
I had a bit of debate on Twitter about this – but I think Tony utterly deserved that verbal bashing, even though I felt sorry for him as he had to hear it.
He hasn’t been remotely supportive. He’s put Helen down behind her back, then avoided her, and any topic of the baby, as best he can.
Yes, Tony is entitled to his opinion – but I can shake the feeling that his opinion is utterly hypocrisy. He wouldn’t be like this if Helen did have a man.
Actually, he’d even be happier if she’d got pregnant by some random bloke, who then didn’t stick around.
It was horrible to hear Tony so hurt by Helen, but he had it coming. He is her dad. He is about to become a grandfather. And he has done nothing but make Helen feel even more alone.
The truth sometimes hurts like billy-o …
Where’s Kenton’s Mystery highway man going?
Kenton’s now got his costumes for his Mystery Highway Man stunt at Deck the Halls.
[Kenton] “The mystery highway man stands again!”
So what’s the plot?
He terrifies a small child? Is sued for causing a heart attack? Shoots someone by mistake?
It’s Kenton. There’s got to be a catch.
Pat has no answers for Tony
We can normally trust in our Aunty Pat to have good solid advice.
But this time, when it comes to her own family, she’s stumped.
Tony’s understandably still reeling from Helen’s rather harsh words.
[Tony] “She was at the end of her tether, I was only trying to help … then she just exploded and it all came flooding out … She meant every word … it just took that one spark to let it all off”
Pat can only say that they need to leave Helen to calm down, then try and talk to her in the morning.
But knowing he’s in for a sleepless anxious night, Tony’s all at sea:
[Tony] “I can’t leave it like this, I feel terrible … but what am I going to say? Will she even listen to me? I don’t know what to do Pat. I don’t know where to start.”
I have my sympathies Tony, but maybe you could have tried to not be so bloody-minded and stubborn in the first place?
- Emma’s getting back to old form
- Nic’s a wee star
- Do turkeys know what’s coming?
- Birthing plans
- Wishful thinking, Pat
- What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie
- Bets on Vicky or Susan
Emma’s getting back to old form
As Will, Nic and Ed get stuck into the turkeys (Joe and Eddie were around, but we didn’t actually hear them working), Emma is worse than useless.
First she dumps George on Clarrie. He’s got a sore throat, but instead of finding a babysitter, Emma ignores Clarrie’s broken wrist, and need to rest.
(Is any Grundy actually taking Clarrie’s broken wrist seriously? Give the woman a break!)
So Emma dumps George.
Is late with the coffee for those actually working hard.
Refuses to help sweep up the feathers:
[Emma] “Me!?! No! Bloomin things, they get everywhere. I’ll be itching all day!”
Has a half-hearted go at catching the turkeys, which lasted all of a few seconds:
[Emma] “I don’t wanna do it!”
Will was quite right to slate her at the end of the day.
[Will] “For all the help Emma was, she might as well stayed at home”
Emma was back to form as a spoilt, petulant brat.
And though she is pregnant, if Helen can work when she’s actually ahead of Emma in pregnancy terms, maybe Clarrie shouldn’t give Emma that excuse …
Nic’s a wee star
In complete contrast to Emma, there’s nothing Nic won’t do to help out.
After managing to get Will to help out even though Emma and Ed would be there, Nic cracks on with the work without complaint – actually, she does it with a whistle to her step.
She ignores her own snuffles as she plucks the turkeys.
Has a go at catching the turkeys:
[Nic] “It can’t be that hard – they’re so big and stupid”
Infact, Nic gets a bit zealous when catching those turkeys. When she did catch one, she sounded like a super hyper Spanish football commentator.
Bless Nic for her enthusiasm and determination. She’s a cracker.
Do turkeys know what’s coming?
[Ed] “I dunno, I didn’t think to ask”
Well, if turkeys knew what Christmas time meant, none of us would have a chance of eating one. They’d surely be off (along with pigs, cows, pheasants, chickens ….)
Birthing plans
At our next riveting instalment of Helen’s ante-natal class, this week it is birthing plans.
Taking Pat with her for the first time (actually, it’s the first time anyone has been allowed to accompany Helen), Helen seems to have completely opened her mind to being reasonable and realistic about having her baby.
Still quite keen to use the birthing pool, she’s now also:
[Helen] “quite happy to use a high to use a high tech option. All I want is to get this baby out safely”
What a chance of heart.
My word. Is this all actually going to go well for Helen?
Wishful thinking, Pat
Pat’s claiming to Helen that Tony would be “happy to help” Helen get her nursery finished (when Ian has to go back to work).
Really?
I think Helen has the true measure of Tony’s attitude to her pregnancy:
[Helen] “Mum … I mean come on … you know how he feels about this baby, he wants nothing to do with it, he never even mentions it … he seems to be doing his best to pretend it’s not happening at all”
What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie
[Clarrie] “All done – killed and plucked and hanging in the container”
Clarrie’s so chuffed that it’s been done, that she even cracks open the sherry with Pat.
At last. Clarrie gets to put her feet up while everyone else does the work.
Well, nearly. If it hadn’t been for Emma and George …
Bets on Vicky or Susan
Clarrie doesn’t seem convinced about Vicky’s ability to pick up her job at Bridge Farm
[Clarrie] “Vicky will have to learn very fast if she’s to be any use to you”
Clarrie then also wondered out loud whether Vicky would be able to pick it up faster than Susan.
Oo-er.
I’ll have a fiver on Vicky …
- Tony has his ways
- Lily even excels at ice skating
- Mystery Highway Man
- Kenton gets in on the Kate-kicking
- Tony makes some sense
Tony has his ways
And sometimes Tony’s ways are actually quite nice.
Miffed that his surprise for Pat was spoilt by her being up early (he had a nice bunch of flowers to take to her in bed. And a card, which he couldn’t find. But that thought was there).
And he’s booked a nice restaurant for later on. Plus he’s driving – which is a very big gesture for rural dwelling folks.
A tad unoriginal, but anything that’s not work for Pat is lovely.
Lily even excels at ice skating
Whereas Freddie is good at knocking other folks over.
Wee toots. He just needs a big hug and a dad who isn’t trying to force him to be something he’s not …
Mystery Highway Man
Kenton’s latest cunning plan is to have a Mystery Highway man popping up at unannounced intervals at Deck the Halls.
Seemingly, it’s a thank-you to Elizabeth and Nigel for putting him up (and putting up with him – his words).
He has the idea. He’ll be one of the staff doing the work. And he’ll help promote it.
Very nice of Kenton indeed.
But I think it’s a flawed plan.
When the Mystery Highway Man pops up, the folks who spot him will get a prize, if they say “your money, or your life”).
Wasn’t that the highway man’s job?
Kenton gets in on the Kate-kicking
Putting his foot in it with Phoebe (how was he to know Kate was going away for 6 weeks rather than four?), Kenton doesn’t hold back on saying what he thinks of Kate:
[Kenton] “Well it par for course where Kate’s concerned though … she’s got form!”
[Hayley] “Don’t say another word, or I’ll be tempted to say exactly what I think of her right now, and that’s not going to help Phoebe”
Still, at least Kenton managed to spot Jill’s seemingly loud body language towards Nigel, and steer clearing of their argument about whether Freddie and Lily should go to boarding school.
Tony makes some sense
On Vicky:
[Tony] “Vicky’s a bit of an unknown … you know, isn’t she … she can be a bit volatile”
(bless – he was being far too polite to say what he really though)
He was also very calm about Kathy and Jamie joining them for Christmas dinner.
Though he is looking forward to a quiet Christmas eve just being for family.
Well, until Pat pointed out that next year would be completely different, due to Helen’s baby.
On the topic of which, Tony can still not find anything positive to say.
Whereas Pat is happy that Helen is at least realising she can’t do everything by herself, in asking Pat to come to her ante-natal class, Tony reckons:
[Tony] “Some else should be caring for her, loving her, getting ready to be a father for the child”
[Tony] “I just wanted Helen to have the same chance as we did”
Which is absolutely fair enough.
What parent wouldn’t’ want that for their kid?
But, that’s all academic when this is happening, happening now and isn’t going o go away.
Time Tony got over himself, and became a real dad himself.
- Jennifer’s stressed over Christmas part 1
- “So fruitful, like a bud that’s about to burst”
- Did Pat really want Vicky?
- Kate really is a warped b**ch
- Vicky gropes Helen
Jennifer’s stressed over Christmas part 1
Oh dear. If Jennifer’s stressed over a mini Christmas for Phoebe, her blood pressure is going to be pushed nigh high for the real thing.
Or, is she just so stressed because she knows Kate will utterly freak out if everything’s not perfect for ‘her’ Phoebe?
“So fruitful, like a bud that’s about to burst”
So says Vicky.
Vicky also says she very jealous of Helen.
Now I know Vicky can be an utter pain, but she is genuinely and absolutely happy for Helen.
And there’s few folks like that about …
Did Pat really want Vicky?
She seemed very unsure at first, but Pat seemed to quickly warm to the idea of Vicky working at Bridge Farm.
Does Vicky have a special gaze that she fixes on folks, hypnotising them to do her bidding?
Or, is Pat just that desperate?
Either way, Vicky seemed to sway Pat with her assurances that she can pick everything up quickly:
[Vicky] “Susan seemed to get the hand of it quite fast … so it can’t be that hard, really”
Vicky pointed out the obvious:
“If you’re so desperate … perhaps I can do that for you”
(that woman really has no dignity sometimes)
Vicky is local, and anyone they got in would have to be trained first anyway.
But Vicky clinched it with her sound argument that she has good inside knowledge:
[Vicky] “And I’m married to a milkman, aren’t I?”
Vicky got the job, but is it bad or good news for Bridge Farm?
Kate really is a warped b**ch
In the first place, Kate wanted an early Christmas so that she could spend it with Phoebe. But expected Jennifer to do all the work.
[Kate] “Mum – don’t stress, think festive”
Then, she buys (what sounded like) a huge pile of presents for Phoebe without warning Jennifer and Brian, and without herself buying extra for Ruairi.
The wee man was quite rightly upset that Phoebe had so many big presents, while he only had only teeny one.
Even Brian was surprised at the quantity of presents for Phoebe (and that’s saying something!)
Kate then kept interrupting Jennifer with saying “let Phoebe decide”. And she didn’t even notice when Ruairi stormed off upset.
[Brian] “Don’t you think it’s wrong for Kate to spoil her like that? …she’s trying to buy off her guilt”
Aye right you are, Brian! You started off this cycle, by utterly spoiling Kate in the first place.
Kate also finally tells Phoebe that’s she going to be away for longer than expected, which Phoebe takes in her stride, but is obviously upset.
[Brian] “Here we go again”
Yup. *sigh*
Vicky gropes Helen
And surprisingly, all Helen says is:
“I guess she can feel it whenever she likes”
Wow!
Helen was a bit taken aback at Vicky having a good feel of her baby, but does seem to have taken it all in her stride.
That’s just not like our Helen.
Great!
- Tony’s got no sympathy for Clarrie
- Eddie’s utterly useless
- Helen eats venison
Tony’s got no sympathy for Clarrie
[Tony, on what Clarrie should do to mend herself and get back to work at Bridge Farm] “A good night’s rest”
[Pat] “What!!!”
[Tony] “This wrist may not be quote so bad as she thought”
[Pat] “Tony! She’s broken a bone!”
Honestly – that man really can’t see beyond his own needs. It certainly puts his attitudes to Helen’s pregnancy in context.
But, Bridge Farm is already in dire need of extra hands, due to Helen being pregnant, so Clarrie not being able to work is a bit of a disaster.
Even Helen calls to see if she can help out, even though she’s finally twigged that she needs to rest for both her and the baby’s sake. She’s such a Calvinist.
At least Tony can see some good in this situation. He reckons Pat will now be far too busy to see Kathy - which means he won’t have to listen to Kathy moaning about Jamie.
Kathy and Jamie seemingly simply ruined Sunday lunch, with Jamie being a typical non-communicative moody teenager.
Though Pat tries to appeal to Tony’s sense of empathy, as Jamie is still hurting over the loss of Sid, Tony doesn’t quite buy it.
[Tony] “It doesn’t mean he has to come and do a Kevin over our Sunday lunch!”
Then Tony puts his foot down over this coming Sunday. But just before we all had to cower (putting a foot down to Pat is never a good idea), Tony reminds Pat that it’s their 36th anniversary. Which he doesn’t want to share with either Kathy or Jamie …
Eddie’s utterly useless
Clarrie feels useless. She can’t even get the top off of her tablets.
But Clarrie isn’t really the useless one – it’s her feckless husband and father-in-law.
After helping Clarrie to get into her painkillers, Eddie then comes out with:
[Eddie] “So … anything for dinner?”
[Clarrie] “There’s ham and cheese in the fridge”
[Eddie] “I could do with something to warm me up”
Eh? Come on Eddie. Can’t you look after yourself for once? Better still – why don’t you look after Clarrie properly for once.
Sounding very perturbed at Clarrie’s suggestion that he makes an omelette, Eddie then has to be told by Pat to get the flowers she’s brought for Clarrie into water.
Clarrie’s break is an “Undisplaced fracture of the radius bone”. Double ouch!
Even though the pressure is really mounting at Bridge Farm without Clarrie being able to work, even Pat advises:
“You should treat it as a chance to have a holiday”
[Eddie] “Don’t you worry pat. Me and dad, we’ll look after her”
Good intentions, which I somehow won’t really come true.
Nic later pops in with a stew, and to tidy the kitchen. But Eddie still isn’t happy that he will have to get the potatoes sorted.
What a selfish plonker. We all love Eddie and his cheeky ways, but he can be such a selfish arse when it comes to his wife.
So, I think we can expect little to no meals being cooked – no chance of a tidy house – even less chance of Christmas presents – and what about Clarrie’s turkeys?
Oh dear. I can see why Clarrie is so frustrated. But the problem isn’t with her wrist, it’s who she married …
Helen eats venison
It’s a shocker!
Not because Helen is a vegetarian (she’s not), but that Helen has chosen to eat anything other than low calorie green stuff.
As she’s out having lunch with Kirsty, Helen at first swithers between the venison and the tuna, but plumps for the venison.
[Helen] “Oh what the hell, I don’t want to get food envy”
Even though Helen can’t take it as far as having a full pudding to herself (she shares Kirsty’s), her new attitude to food is good news for everyone.
[Helen] “Was I really thinking about the baby – or was it more about me? Was I just being selfish?”
[Helen on being pregnant] “Making me think hard about my priorities”
She’s even asked Pat to go with her to her next ante-natal class. No more struggling alone.
Shall a new Helen emerge, as well as a new life?
- The current list of charges against Kate
- Helen can do no right by Tony
- Tony gets his new refrigeration unit
- Is Ruairi taking the michael?
- Phoebe’s going to end up like Kate
- *groan* Kathy’s on about Jamie …
The current list of charges against Kate
Kate was previously hassling Jennifer to ‘break’ Ruairi’s routine to come out with the rest of the family, then she’s an arse to Jennifer when she was asked to take Ruairi out with Phoebe
The charge: being inconsistent, always suiting herself, harassing others and being a petulant child when she doesn’t get her own way
Kate dragged wee Ruairi along to a laser quest thingy. Then left him by himself. In the dark, With people shooting at him. Ruairi is only 8
[Ruairi] ““it was dark … and I didn’t know where you were”
(oh – ya wee lamb!)
The charge: Kate is a bad half-sister, and is cruel to little boys
When Jennifer later confronts Kate about:
[Jennifer] “Poor little thing is in a dreadful state!”
and having nightmares, Kate just won’t take responsibility.
[Kate] “I promised Phoebe we’d do whatever she wanted”
Kate – look at what you’ve said, weight it up against wee Ruairi having nightmares, and work out whose fault this is.
Kate also sounds like she’s about to let down Phoebe, by going back to South Africa for longer than Phoebe expects her to.
The charge: Kate has yet to grow up, doesn’t understand that kids can easily be upset/scarred for life and is once again about to be rubbish to her daughter
The sentence: Ruairi pucking was a start
Helen can do no right by Tony
As Pat was talking about how Helen might have “turned a corner”, and she was mentioning names for the baby – rather than be happy that his daughter is doing better, all Tony could come out with was:
[Tony] “Nothing too outlandish, I hope”
Oh for goodness sake Tony. It can’t be undone now. Get a grip man!
Tony gets his new refrigeration unit
Maybe he can show some fatherly affection to it. He certainly must be storing up plenty to spare.
Is Ruairi taking the michael?
I know he’s still wee, and it’s unfair to criticise wee ones, but what on earth is Ruairi’s accent about?
It sounds like Dick Van Dyke trying to do an Irish accent.
Very, decidedly, odd.
And quite difficult to eavesdrop on.
Phoebe’s going to end up like Kate
Kate’s only been back a short while, but Phoebe’s already showing signs of taking after her (birth) mother.
Phoebe would rather be with Kate over Christmas – Phoebe wants a laptop (with camera and microphone) for Christmas – Phoebe wants to go to a laser quest thing.
And Kate grants Phoebe her every desire. Phoebe even manages to use crafty techniques to ensure she gets what she wants. The laptop has to have a camera and microphone so that she can speak to Kate when she goes back to South Africa for Christmas … hmmm.
*groan* Kathy’s on about Jamie …
I do feel for Tony, having to put up with Kathy having yet another moan about Jamie.
It’s been a while since we’ve heard it, but I still *shudder* when I hear Kathy says the J word.
Seemingly he’s still grunting, and still not doing any school work.
Pat tries to reassure Kathy by saying that Tom got fairly rubbish Grades at school – then completely went off the academic track when his brother John died – but then went onto a day release course at Borchester College. Which led into his arrest for the GM Crop destruction ….
So, not a lot of comfort for Kathy there then.
[Kathy] “You never imagine how such a little scrap of humanity can take over your life … treat you with contempt”
*sigh*
As Tony tries to rush Kathy into her coat and out of the door, Pat invites Kathy and Jamie to Sunday lunch.
[Tony, when Kathy had accepted and finally left] “She’s here the whole bloomin’ time! If I have to sit through one more whinge … do you have to be supportive so often?”
- “Little Sid will see what a lovely person big Sid was”
- Quite right Kenton!
- Fallon’s dicing with death-by-Lynda-Snell
- Jolene’s sewer of a mind
- Helen in eating shock!
- What more do we have to give?
“Little Sid will see what a lovely person big Sid was”
Ah, a nice idea to give wee Sid a nice photo of a happy big (now dead) Sid.
Funny that. I don’t remember him ever being that jolly …
Quite right Kenton!
It’s not often I agree with our Kenton, but he was quite right to step in and harass that antiques dealer if he was being dodgy
[Kenton] “I couldn’t just stand by and watch my dear poor aunty be ripped off”
Of course, it’s probably the way Kenton went about it that’s set Elizabeth off on one again. I can just imagine his macho posturing.
[Kenton] “I am now persona non grata at Lower Loxley until the end of the Antiques Fair”
Poor chap. He also can’t get anyone to go to lunch with him, and even resorts to begging Helen and Ian to let him join them.
Fallon’s dicing with death-by-Lynda-Snell
Cripes! Fallon has some nerve saying that Lynda’s panto script is a “bit rubbish in parts”
I would even utter that if I was on a different planet from Lynda. She has her way of hearing these things …
Jolene’s sewer of a mind
Jolene mistook Fallon for saying she’d been doing something rather more intimate with Harry than rhyming couplets
[Fallon] “Then we got a bit carried away … one you start you … once you get into the rhythm of it, it’s hard to stop”
Come on Jolene – keep up! Fallon and Harry are starring together in the panto.
Still, it’s nice that Jolene even registers when someone is speaking to her. It was oh so different just a few months ago.
Helen in eating shock!
Ian’s been a quiet as of late, and certainly wasn’t around to berate Helen for getting too anxious about food and exercise while pregnant.
But now that Helen’s a bit happier – up he pops.
Hmmm. Smacks a bit of ‘fair-weather friend’. Which I hate even thinking, as we all do love a bit of Ian.
Anyhoo, Ian’s offers to sort the nursery will at least stop Helen painting the flat again.
[Ian] “I’m not having this baby come into this world without a properly equipped nursery”
Aw, sweet!
Which is the exact opposite to Tony’s behaviour. I really do feel for Helen about Tony still not accepting the inevitable:
[Helen] “But no amount of disapproval will make this baby go away … I so want him to celebrate his grandchild, but he just won’t … it makes me so sad”
Despite her problems with her dad, Helen does seem a bit perkier. A chat with Amy really seems to have done wonders.
[Helen] “I really am going to try and relax some more … and eat”
*thud*
And, she’s also even though of some names – Henry for a boy, Megan for a girl.
Henry Archer or Megan Archer – we await you with eager anticipation! And we’ve started a fund for the therapy you’ll need to untie those mother’s apron springs …
What more do we have to give?
That’s gratitude for you.
Harry makes a website and a Twitter profile. I even created a bloomin; Facebook cause (now at 540). The residents come up with ideas, do a lot of the work AND put money through the till. Even the BBC made t-shirts (though I doubt The Bull say any of that income!).
After all that, Jolene is still thinking of “jacking the pub in”.
Ya boo to you!
Well, actually, to be fair, Jolene was talking to Kenton about how
[Jolene] “Every bit of it (the pub) still reminding me”
But Kenton came back with some very sound advice (eh? Kenton???)
[Kenton, on running away to sea and Australia] “It wasn’t Ambridge I had a problem with … it was me”
[Kenton] “Why would you want to go somewhere that didn’t remind you of him?”
He has a point. Jolene doesn’t want to forget, just be able to move on.
By the way – if Kenton and Jolene are to ‘get it on’, can they do so quickly and quietly, please.
The Archers: Panto misery … Helen’s misery … at least Fallon and Harry are having a laugh
- “I suppose we could have guitar playing rats”
- “If it was up to her, she’d have the baby in the stockroom …”
- Fallon doesn’t understand her motivation
- Phew for Amy!
- Tony makes good?
“I suppose we could have guitar playing rats”
Lynda really has lost the plot.
Having lost Nathan Booth to a “lack of professionalism” (his words), Lynda’s becoming increasingly erratic.
After ignoring Fallon’s plea for a bit of understanding over her lateness due to Jolene wanting to do a bit of Christmas shopping (come on Lynda – Jolene interested in anything is something to be nurtured!), Lynda’s after Fallon's band-mate Rolla.
But he seemingly won’t go on stage without a guitar.
“If it was up to her, she’d have the baby in the stockroom …”
“ … and be back behind the counter an hour later”
So says Kirsty about Helen.
Tony’s also having a pop at Helen via Amy
“Do you come across this often? Young women having babies on their own … I think it’s crazy!”
On hearing that Helen is finding things a bit tough, Tony is even less sympathetic:
[Tony] “If she’s cracking under the strain now, what’s it going to be like when the baby arrives?”
Come on Tony. You’re going to melt eventually …
Fallon doesn’t understand her motivation
And she’s also brave enough to take on Lynda about her script@
[Fallon] “Alice is supposed to be quite a demur young woman, isn’t she? She's not the sort to go picking up men on the street!”
After questioning Lynda over Alice falling for a bit of a dirty Dick (fnar!), Fallon then gets far over excited about Harry’s ability to do rhymes.
Goodness me! Ask him out properly, Fallon. All of this giggling and mooning doesn’t become you.
And watch your back. Lynda was sounding very sniffy as you were tittering and rhyming away with Harry.
[Lynda] “We are not here to have fun … we are here to put on a show! Christmas shopping and general joviality take priority over their commitment to me”
All of which would be quite amusing, if Harry and Fallon hadn’t actually driven Lynda to tears.
Phew for Amy!
At last – Helen has someone to talk to who she actually trusts and believes (though I still don’t know why Helen won’t listen to her own, or any other, mum. Amy is only recently qualified)
[Helen] “is there any chance it’s something I’ve done – like not eating enough, taking too much exercise … could I have been depriving the baby of nourishment?”
Amy explained, reassured, relaxed.
Just in time for Helen (and the rest of us).
Tony makes good?
Popping round to drop off a casserole for Helen (which she froze rather than ate), Tony seems to have slightly mellowed towards Helen. Maybe Pat has got through to him. Maybe he realised that, like it or not, his daughter needs him.
[Tony] “Any time you do feel a bit down, for no matter what reason, … we’ll always be there for you”
The Archers: All at Church ... Kenton's not wanted ... Lynda needs to get a grip
- Waiting for a Wonder
- Alan takes his chance for a guilt trip
- Amy’s being interviewed
- John: gone but not forgotten?
- Kenton’s not welcome at the Lower Loxley Antiques Fayre
- "Dick Whittington takes priority over Cheltenham!"
Waiting for a Wonder
Jill was certainly surprised to all her clan turn up for church – and even more so to hear Pip play Phil’s favourite advent hymn, Waiting for Wonder.
Where I normally have a moan about Ambridge only letting us eavesdrop in on ‘fillers’, I thought hearing the residents singing this hymn was a very fitting, and moving, tribute to our Phil.
And despite Pip reckoning she had:
“managed to stagger through without too many mistakes …it was a bit approximate”
I reckon, she did him proud.
Alan takes his chance for a guilt trip
Wasn’t Alan just revealing in giving all of those part-time church goers a hard time!
[Alan to Pat] “to what do we owe the pleasure?”
But he did soften at the sight of so many of Phil’s nearest and dearest paying tribute.
[Alan] “It’s lovely to see the church so full of archers”
Amy’s being interviewed
A return to Ambridge considering she’s being interviewed at Felpersham?
It could be perfect timing. Maybe Helen will listen to a qualified expert (though why other mums aren’t experts, I do not know).
She really does seem to be a chip of the old Alan-block. Immediately after hearing that Helen wasn’t having the easiest of times with her pregnancy, Amy makes practical and comforting sense:
“Babies are usually made to fit their mums”
John: gone but not forgotten?
My word – Pat at his graveside was the first mention of John Archer in many a moon.
Amy offers help
Kenton’s not welcome at the Lower Loxley Antiques Fayre
Bless. It’s because he ‘thinks’ he knows it all. And then starts arguments.
"Dick Whittington takes priority over Cheltenham!"
Oh dear.
Lynda is starting to lose the ‘plot’ a bit (see what I did there!)
Furious that folks have a life out with the Panto, Lynda is starting to relax her grip on reality.
Still, there is hope. According to Elizabeth, there’s plenty of time for Nigel to practise his prat falls …
The Archers: Tony’s got to scrape the yard … Helen’s making a batch of Borchester Blue … seemingly it isn’t okay to eat takeaway for breakfast (I beg to differ!)
- Kenton and Jolene off to lunch again
- “walking the path of sinfulness”
- Helen’s baby is too small
- Eddie is innocent
- Is Tony coming round?
Kenton and Jolene off to lunch again
Kenton and Jolene happen to bump into each other. Kenton suggests Jolene goes to lunch with him at Jaxx, and Jolene agrees.
Doesn’t sound like the start of a steamy romance, but you just never know …
I must say that Jolene does seem to have a high tolerance for Kenton’s rather dated and rubbish sense of humour:
[when Kenton was pretending to be a guitar, Jolene:] “You’re a natural”
Hmmm. I’d have other words for it …
Anyhoo, Jolene was saying to Kenton that she feels she got more energy now.
Just in time for a steamy time with Mr K Archer?
“walking the path of sinfulness”
Kenton has a slight concern that he’ll be struck down by the Almighty as he tries to enter His house on Sunday (for the advent service).
Carrying on the religious theme, Kenton also calls David:
“my angelic little brother”
Interesting.
Is Kenton developing a conscience?
Helen’s baby is too small
I found it very odd that Pat didn’t notice Helen was close to tears at first (maybe that’s why Helen tends to hold it all in, in the first place).
But at least we now know why Helen was being a bit off after she had been to see the midwife.
Seemingly her baby is small for the stage it is at.
And Helen’s worried it’s her fault, for doing too much exercise.
[Helen] “For once in my life I just wanted something to go right for me”
[Pat] “Babies are really robust little things – they can hope with a lot (p)
[Pat] “You just have to realise, you can’t control everything”
[Helen] “I’m damaging it before it’s even been born”
Cripes. And there was me thinking Helen’s kid would only need specialist treatment from a psychiatrist.
Eddie is innocent
Eddie’s still protesting that he knew nothing about the gloop in the bucket he threw over Sabrina.
Nathan’s demonstrating his guilt by quitting the Panto.
Nathan claims he “couldn’t work in such an unprofessional environment”, but I think we can guess that he knew Eddie would do anything and everything to get him back. So probably best he wasn’t on stage in front of an audience when that happened.
Still, Eddie’s had to pay £45 to get Sabrina’s top dry cleaned. Which surely Eddie will get back through Karma – after all, Eddie only stung Nathan for trying to rip off a charity.
Is Tony coming round?
Pat’s talking to Tony about her concerns over Helen:
[Pat] “I think there’s something a lot deeper going on … she’s terrified that something awful is going to happen … because it always does, she said”
[Pat] “When you think how many things have gone wrong in her life … she’s desperate for something to go right at last … she’s pinning so much on this baby”
[Tony] “But it’s alright, we’ll look after her … both of us”
Does Tony really mean that?
The Archers: Lynda buys a bar of chocolate for Robert … Jazzer in Ambridge Organics shock … Jazzer cooks (!) … Revenge is sweet
- Jazzer’s cooking for his “wee lassie”
- Pelvic exercises upset Tony
- Christmas trees aren’t just for weans
- Helen sounds odd
- Sabrina makes even more audible noises
- Just a filler?
- The rats have lost their chemistry
Jazzer’s cooking for his “wee lassie”
My goodness – it’s a real surprise Jazzer gets any ladies interested when he has such a caveman grasp of language.
[Lynda] “So much nicer for your … ahem … lady friend if you’ve taken the trouble yourself”
[Jazzer] “It better have the desired effect … [Harry’s] staying at a mate’s the night in case it does, you know what I mean”
[Helen] “Too much information!”
(and Lynda quickly exits the shop to avoid hearing any more of Jazzer’s leering).
So Jazzer doesn’t know how to talk about, and to, women – plus his knowledge of food is far from impressive:
[Jazzer] “Gelatine – is that something you can eat?”
[Jazzer] “Pan-a-something”
[Kirsty] “Oh – panacotta”
And later, as Jazzer attempts to cook the food he so clearly doesn’t understand:
[Jazzer] “How will this no stay on … this flour and paparazzi?”
(bless!)
Pelvic exercises upset Tony
Tony nips into Ambridge Organics, while Helen’s there, to drop off the veg.
He and Helen sounded quite cold with each other – which Helen didn’t help by ta;lking to Tony avout her ante-natal classes.
The poor man really couldn’t cope with hearting about Helen’s pelvic excercises.
But he’s not letting go of Helen being wrong for having the baby by herself. He asked her about whether anyone else at the class didn’t have a partner there – which two others didn’t.
Is it just me, or is Tony more worried about Helen than angry?
It sounded like he just hates the thought of Helen being the odd one out – alone – different.
Isn’t that just him being a dad?
Christmas trees aren’t just for weans
They’re fur big yins an all!
Helen sounds odd
Well, odder than usual.
Back from her appointment with the midwife, Helen sounds a bit forlorn.
Oh dear.
Sabrina makes even more audible noises
What’s going on?
Is there going to a rash of ‘silent’ residents making noise?
Or is Sabrina building up to an actual word?!?
Sabrina sounds like she’s dolled herself up to the nines.
[Harry] “Sabrina’s pulled out the stops with her outfit”
[Lynda] “Oh that … it’s not very practical”
Seemingly Sabrina’s all dressed up as she’s joining Richard later on for drinks with his clients.
But hark – is that Sabrina’s shoes I hear a-clipping? And did she say “oh”, and also sighing when she had to exert herself while sharing a very small space onstage with Eddie and Nathan.
My oh my. Come out into the light, Sabrina Thwaite.
Just a filler?
Was is a really slow day in Ambridge?
Must have been. We were subjected to at least 5 minutes of Lynda giving stage instructions to the spound of shuffling and that odd ‘okay’ from Eddie.
The rats have lost their chemistry
Earlier on in the day, Eddie was being a bit too cocky about putting one over Nathan.
[Eddie on Nathan] “He’s been beaten by a master you see … he knows who is boss”
Well, we all know that pride comes before a fall.
As Eddie throws what is supposed to be a bucket of confetti over Sabrina, we hear Sabrina shreek, sob, then slap Eddie.
(again with the audible noises from Sabrina!)
Eddie has aeemingly just thrown something akin to wallpaper paste over Sabrina.
And then Lynda fires him.
Ah Eddie. Nathan was not a man to underestimate.
The Archers: Helen is working … Kathy’s drunk herself asleep … Freddie is a bit dim … Jill is thinking of Phil
- Helen’s spreading
- I’d never heard of Mrs Miniver
- Kathy’s round again
- Poor Freddie isn’t the brightest spark
- “Do you remember last year, when granddad helped us?”
- The heifer is ready for AI
- Tony won’t listen
- Neither will Helen
Helen’s spreading
After trying to first work off those crusty bits (round the edge of the pie dish), Helen’s idea of spreading the workload (to take things easier, as everyone is nagging her to do) is to do a stocktake. On a Sunday.
*sigh*
[Pat] “Tony – you don’t feel this is a good idea?”
[Tony] “Well, you know what I think”
Helen has also decided that she’s going to work up to 2 weeks before her due date.
But all Tony can think to do is ask if Helen has a coat to wear back to the shop.
He’s still not accepting that Helen decided to have her baby by herself.
But, from the way Helen’s behaving, I somehow think Tony will have to step up to help, whether he likes the situation or not.
I’d never heard of Mrs Miniver
But it’s seemingly a classic that won 6 Oscars.
Kathy’s round again
So Tony’s off out to work rather than have to sit and listen to her moaning.
He later complained that she canned a while bottle of red wine.
Well, at least that made her fall asleep!
Poor Freddie isn’t the brightest spark
We’d know that for a while now, but Freddie’s lack of academic prowess is now proving to potentially block Elizabeth’s and Nigel’s plans for his education.
[Nigel] “Have to have a think about Freddie … he won’t pass the entrance exam”
[Elizabeth] “Such a shame it is all about this exam – such a sweet child”
Well and truly putting his nose up at the thought of Freddie having to go to Borchester Green if he fails the entrance exams, Nigel’s determined to make sure Freddie doesn’t fail in the first place.
[Elizabeth] “Why are you being so pessimistic?”
[Nigel] “I’m trying to be realistic … Freddie will have to work with Rosemary over Christmas”
[Elizabeth] “A fun maths lesson is hardly as fun as a snowball fight!”
Indeed Elizabeth!
And wait until Lilly finds out that she has to suffer maths throughout Christmas along with Freddie.
“Do you remember last year, when granddad helped us?”
As Elizabeth gets her two ready to go to Jill’s for their traditional Stir-up Sunday, he points out that his family missed out on such homely traditions:
[Nigel] “The only thing my mother ever stirred up was trouble”
For us Ambridge Eavesdroppers, Stir-up Sunday now also holds a special significance, as it was the last time we heard Phil Archer speak.
A poignant day, but one still enjoyed by the family.
[Jill] “Do you remember last year, when granddad helped us? He found a sixpence with the year of his birth … we’ll put it in the pudding today … and every year”
Later on, as everyone makes their wish as they stir (wee Freddie was the slowest, bless him):
[Elizabeth] “I can expect you can guess what my wish is, mum”
[Jill] “Yes, it’s probably the same as mine”
Aw. Gone but very much not forgotten, is our Phil.
And at least Freddie had fun:
[Freddie] “Grandma let me lick the bowl”
[Nigel] “ Was it nice?”
[Freddie] “well, I felt a bit sick after …”
The heifer is ready for AI
Do you think Pat will make sure Tony checks the heifer is okay with being made pregnant again? She should, what with all her feminist principles. And considering that the heifer seemed to having quite a nice time with another heifer …
Or will Tony give the heifer a hard time for having a calf sans bull? I think not …
Tony won’t listen
Amongst the heifer-on-heifer action, Pat tries to talk to Tony about Helen. But he’s just not interested.
[Pat] “I just wish I could get her to talk honestly about how she feels inside … she’s always got this brittle shell on”
As Tony tries to wander off again, he comes out with:
[Tony] “Come on Pat! Helen’s done this whole baby thing exactly as she wanted. She hasn’t listened to a word of sense from anyone. “What on earth makes you think she’ll start now!?!”
Neither will Helen
Pat calls Helen to check she’s okay. She’s found still in the shop, still doing the stock take, at 8pm (on a Sunday).
Helene seemingly had an idea about how to recognise the spices, but it didn’t work, so had to put them back again.
As Pat starts to work herself up into a rant, but Helen basically hangs up on her.
I’m telling you. Force Helen into a small room with all her nearest and dearest, and don’t let her out until she sees sense.
Otherwise … we’re heading for yet another Helen disaster.
The Archers: Pigs with colds … Pip’s a fast driver … Jazzer wants something … Joe’s got a new scam … Helen’s getting worse
- Jazzer’s still worried about wheezing pigs
- Is Jazzer also coming down with something?
- Eddie doesn’t like to boast
- Pip’s a Boy Racer
- Team Jazzer & Harry
- Would Bert really abuse those cows?
- Joe works for tea?
- David wants a freebie
- Cobwebs behind the cistern
- Tony’s decisive, but his kids are too driven
Jazzer’s still worried about wheezing pigs
Seemingly a second has come down with a bit of a wheeze, but Jazzer’s managed to get them both put inside for a bit of RandR.
Maybe we should start a knitting to group to get those pigs some toasty jumpers.
Is Jazzer also coming down with something?
“Get a time machine - go back and start your life again – but this time, pay attention”
What?
That was what Jazzer said to Tony when Tony tried to get the inside info on the forthcoming quiz answers.
How decidedly odd.
Eddie doesn’t like to boast
But he goes ahead with it anyway.
“I don’t like to boast . Linda virtually declared me and Nathan the stars of the show”
Oh far too cocky! You know that pride comes before a fall …
Pip’s a Boy Racer
Or, at least that’s what you’d believe if you listened to David.
Team Jazzer & Harry
[Jazzer] “My natural instinct is to be a team player – we’re shaping up to be a pretty good team”
Jazzer’s waxing lyrical to Harry about how good they are together.
They’re working on the quiz together, and Jazzer even cooked tea for Harry last night.
[Jazzer] “It was good scran tae …all the extras bits were my own as well – the chilli sauce, the grated cheese on top …”
[Harry, rather sarcastically] “Those were some of the nicest beans on toast I ever had”
Later on, Jazzer even rushes to Harry’s aid (unasked) when something at the milking needs fixing.
Despite losing Harry’s wee screwdriver (let’s hope it didn’t cost as much as his knife or pan did!), Jazzer’s determined to make sure Harry knows that he’s making a real effort.
Especially on the shared cooking front.
Not that Jazzer wants to do the cooking every day:
[Jazzer] “I still want to enjoy ma food”
But he is quite keen to share the duties. As long as Harry cooks tonight. Because Jackie is coming round (ah ha!)
[Jazzer] “I do the cooking, you get the credit … She cannae decide whether to stick or twist yet … They just blame you for filling them with wind (beans)”
Harry doesn’t completely fall for it, instead suggesting that he can talk Jazzer through the cooking.
Not very amused by this suggestion, Jazzer reckons:
“You’ve got a long way to go before you get the idea of this teamwork thing, Harry”
Would Bert really abuse those cows?
Telling David that he can’t work on Christmas day (yikes – a full Grundy is taking shape), Eddie snorts over the idea of Bert handling the milking
[Eddie] “Bert manhandling them wouldn’t have been the best present for the cows!”
Poor Bert. That’s a horrible slut on his character.
Joe works for tea?
Did I hear that right?
Did Eddie say to David that Joe was giving folks rides on the green (with Bartleby and his trap) for teas?
David wants a freebie
Honestly, is David ever positive about anything his siblings do?
Elizabeth and Nigel are doing a lovely open day at Lower Loxley for the family, but David’s already moaning as it won’t include the ice rink.
Come on David. Where’s your festive cheer?!?
Cobwebs behind the cistern
What on earth is Helen thinking?
She gets forced to take time off of work to rest her hurt ankle, so uses the time to paint her flat. But it’s okay, as it’s mainly the skirting boards. Which are scuffed. Which, of course, the baby would be very upset about (!).
Pat catches Helen as she takes round a cottage pie (which is unlikely to be eaten by the ever calorie conscious Helen), and is rightly indignant.
[Helen] “I won’t get a better opportunity than now – I want the flat to be perfect when the baby comes … come on mum, you know how untidy this place gets … there was cobwebs behind the cistern!”
[Pat] “Can’t you just read a book instead!”
Helen really just gets worse and worse. If cobwebs behind a cistern upset her, just imagine what a kid smothered in mud (and goodness knows what else) will do to her sense of calm.
It’s almost as if she expects her baby to sit quietly, without making a mess.
Well, at least it won’t be offended by wee bits of crime.
More importantly, during her wee argument with Pat, Helen is forced to sit down.
Tony’s decisive, but his kids are too driven
[Pat, slightly smouldering, on Tony saying ‘yes’ to Tom’s energy saving ideas] “I was very impressed how decisive you were about that Tony”
[Tony] “Yes. He’d worn down my resistance … he’d done a good job … and is determined to put us on a better footing, so why not”
[Pat] “I do sometimes wish our children weren’t so driven … she’s been micromanaging organics online … running around the flat tidying up and painting … she’s washed the walls of the shower room top to bottom”
[Tony] “… unless she was silly enough to stand on a chair …”
(course she has been!)
[Pat] “Her whole body is telling her to slow down and be careful”
[Tony] “she just doesn’t know how to stop”
It’s time for an intervention!
