Rhys and Fallon double date Kirsty and Ifty: Tues 11.12.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 11th December 2012

• Double dating has rules
• Elizabeth asks David about the dairy conversion
• What to buy a new girlfriend?

Double dating has rules

Nothing dubious though – just an all-out ban on Ifty and Rhys talking about sport. Or anyone mentioning Shakespeare.

(are Rhys and Fallon tiring of the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza? Surely not …)

[Ifty] “Are they worried we might break out into spontaneous soliloquys?”

The boys are worried that without sport, they’ll have little else to talk about.

Neither know what else there is to talk about without sport


Elizabeth asks David about the dairy conversion
What on earth will he know about it?

I know Elizabeth is trying to make up for not talking to David for a fair while – but let’s be sensible!

Anyhoo – Elizabeth talks weddings and conferences. Fundamentally, a small or big conversion.

Elizabeth’s very much sold on going for the weddings, though David is shocked at the work (and expensive) they’ll have to do just to increase up to 25 weddings a year. Even with more specialist weddings like “green” and “Asian”.

To be fair to David, Elizabeth just really wanted a sounding board.

[Elizabeth] “It’s just nice to be share it without someone close. Someone who is on my side.”

(sorry … why isn’t Lewis considered close or on her side?)


What to buy a new girlfriend?

Tricky.

Ifty’s worried he’s bought Kirsty too much. Which could make him seem too keen.

At first, Rhys wouldn’t say what he’s bought Fallon for Christmas. Then he admits that he’s bought Fallon a voucher for an album.

Which might make him seen not keen at all.

[Ifty] “It’s a total cop put. Only total losers give vouchers. Trust me, I know women, she won’t respect you for it. You need to be bold. You need to choose an album for her.”

[Rhys] “Okay, but she’s into all these super cool super bands I’ve never heard of from Leeds and Morecombe.”

(eh?  Leeds and Morecombe???)

BUT Rhys then remembers Fallon liked an Ella Fitzgerald Christmas song.

So he’ll get her that.

One song?

Is that enough?!?

Jazzer hears about Fallon and Rhys: Thurs 29.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 29th November 2012

• The Brilliant Ideas meeting
• The Odd Couple, part deux
• Rhys better watch out for Jazzer

The Brilliant Ideas meeting

Is Lewis’ way of getting more ideas from lower Loxley, by involving all of the staff. They can “drift in and out” as work allows.

Bert’s idea is TV. He reckons that as “life in big country houses is popular” , they should take advantage and get Lower Loxley on there too.

Imagine that … it’d be car crash viewing if Elizabeth was ‘on one’.

Hayley’s idea is a Lower Loxley passport. So, folks buy a passport each year, and have an “ongoing connection” with Lower Loxley.

[Lewis] “Stakeholders, is that what they call it these days.”

With a passport, the ‘stakeholders’ will get into Lower Loxley for free, s will come back more often. And spend their money more often in the tea room and shop.

[Lewis] “I think it sound very positive … building up long term relationships with people.”

[Hayley] “Becoming friends.”

That’s a lovely way to put trying to get more money out of the same people …

Bert has a second brainwave. Following on from his theme of big houses now being popular, he thinks they should research the lives of people who have lived both up and downstairs at Lower Loxley, then make an exhibition out of it.

So, nothing earth shattering, but at least they’re all thinking and involved.

And they all have jobs.


The Odd Couple, part deux

It used to be Jazzer and Harry – but Jim and Jazzer are Ambridge’s new odd couple.

They really do seem to be enjoying each other’s company.

Jim’s struggling for a new subject to interview for his Borchester Life article.

Jazzer reckons … Jazzer!

[Jazzer] “One of these days I’m going to be picked up by the style mags.”

[Jim] “Jazzer, I do wish you wear your overalls back home.”

[Jazzer] “Bit pungent are they?”

[Jim] “Just a touch”

Ignoring Jazzer’s suggestion, Jim is looking up other potentially ‘interesting’ Borchester residents.

He’s found one who is an ex-Brigadier, who also travelled in the Far East.

[Jazzer] “Beyond Felpersham, you mean?”

The chap also collects stuff.

[Jazzer] “Anybody with any sort of collection … the guy’s bound to be boring.”

So who to interview?

[Jazzer] “Shall I tell you the answer to most of life’s intractable problems … head for the nearest bar. There’s something about having a glass in your hand that frees up the creative juices.”

When they’re sat with glass in hand, Jazzer asks Jim to interview Tom.

[Jazzer] “It wouldnae half improve my life if you could dae the piece on Tom Archer … it doesnae stop him lobbying me!”

Bert comes in, and reckons he’d be perfect.

[Bert] “I get a bit about these days … I’ve had some of my poems published in Evesham.”

Bert also suggests Ifty. He’s a teacher, mathematician. Sportsman. And isn’t from Ambridge.

[Jim] “An  also suggests aesthete to boot!”

[Bert] “You what?”

So, it would seem Ifty it is.


Rhys better watch out for Jazzer

Bert, with his usual tact, mentions Rhys and Fallon to Jazzer.

[Bert] “Must have come as quite a blow, eh Jazzer?”

Jazzer reckons he’s fine about it.

[Hayley] “You don’t look it. Staring miserably into your drink.”

[Jazzer] “It’s just Fallon wae Rhys, you know …”

[Hayley] “You’re mates. You're one of the good guys.”

[Jazzer] “He better treat her right, that’s all. Or he’ll be answering to me.”

Susan’s want Ed and Emma to move in: Sun 25.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Sunday 25th November 2012

• Susan’s final solution
• Jolene’s surprised by Rhys and Fallon
• Wassailing with guns
• Ed says no

Susan’s final solution

Is for Ed and Emma to move in with her and Neil. That’d save the, a stack of money, giving them room to breathe.

Emma concurs, but thinks Ed won’t agree.

[Emma] “The thought of not having to find the rent every month would make such a difference …You know what he’s like mum, we can’t ask for help … He thinks all the situation is his fault.”

[Susan] “That’s just life. It isn’t anyone’s fault.”

[Emma] “But if we moved in with you it’d be like telling the while village we couldn’t cope.”

Emma points out the Susan and Neil didn’t exactly enjoy Tracey and her kids living with them. But Susan reckons that’s different. As for Ed:

[Susan] “You need to sit down with him quietly and talk it through. It’s not charity … it’s what families do.”

And anyhoo – how would Ed and Emma afford Christmas, let alone the business and their household bills?


Jolene’s surprised by Rhys and Fallon

Really?

[Jolene] “You and Rhys, who would have thought it!?!”

(erm … everyone)

Jolene’s delighted for Fallon, and tells her to have ‘fun’.

[Fallon] “We are doing, don’t you worry.”

(mothers and daughters really shouldn’t discuss their sex life, in my humble opinion)

Seems everyone knows about Rhys and Fallon. Susan saw Fallon leave Rhys’. Which means everyone else knows.

[Fallon] “Oh my god, I might as well put my diary up on the village website!”

Wassailing with guns

Is Jazzer’s idea for the Community orchard event.

He reckons they should hang targets in amongst the trees, then “blast” them with guns. Seems they do that in other cider orchards to drive away bad spirits and to guarantee a good crop.


Ed says no

[Ed] “I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen.”

[Emma] “You're quite happy to go on like this, not knowing if we can feed the kids? … Tell me honestly why are you so against it.”

[Ed] “Because I care about this family. I want us to stay together.”

Emma reassures him they will stay together – just in someone else’s house. But Ed’s remembering when they had to stay in that caravan, with Emma eventually leaving him.

It also has a lot to do with his pride …

Even Neil thinks it’s a good idea. He and Susan have the room, Ed and Emma can’t afford their own house. It’s an obvious solution.

[Susan] “Let’s give the poor lad some space. He’s only just had this thrown at him.”

[Neil] “Well, that’s a pity … do you think it would help if I popped round and had a word with him … just to say we’re not doing this because we have to.”
Susan reckons not to do so – Ed ‘s pride couldn’t suffer such a chat.

[Ed] “Em, do you think that I want our kids to have a miserable Christmas?”

[Emma] “They don’t have to be.”

Ed’s going to ponder the matter.

He’d better be quick.

Every penny counts.

It gets worse for Ed: Thurs 22.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 22nd November 2012

• Fallon and Rhys wake up together
• The milking bail is broken
• Oliver’s reaction to hearing himself
• Emma’s got pies in

Fallon and Rhys wake up together

[Rhys] “So it wasn’t a dream then.”

[Fallon] “As long as it wasn’t a nightmare …  Not that we seemed to get much sleep … Who would have thought this was going to happen.”

[Rhys] “Caught me by surprise.”

(Really? We’ve all been waiting for this to happen for months!)

[Fallon] “Did you change your bed sheets?”

[Rhys] “Did you shave your legs?”

Touché!

They’re actually moving at a fair pace. Rhys even suggests Fallon gets a toothbrush to keep at his.

[Rhys] “I mean, if we’re going to make a habit of this, it’ll be handy.”

[Fallon] “If that’s the way you feel, why did you wait until now?”

Rhys tells Fallon that he’s always been attracted to her, but he couldn’t make his move while she was his boss. Seems he had a rather nasty experience with someone else he worked with, whom he now calls  “Cindy the Psycho”.

[Rhys] “I was lucky to escape with my well, let’s say last night wouldn’t have been half the fun!”

Oo-er.


The milking bail is broken

I have no idea what a milking bail is or does, but it’s really important for Ed’s dairy. But the pump is broken.

So, Ed’s having to milk by hand. Oliver helps him.

Once Ed’s had someone round to look at the milk bailer, seems the pump has given out. And the motor is burnt. Which will cost £2500 to fix.

Worse still, seems Ed also needs to upgrade the electrical supply. Ed's not been keeping up his services.

Just what Ed hasn’t got. Yet more money.

[Oliver] “Chin up Ed!”

Now here’s a thought – Oliver has money, Ed doesn’t.

Surely Oliver would rather help fund Ed’s business (at Oliver’s farm) than see yet another Grundy go out of business at Grange Farm.


Oliver’s reaction to hearing himself

[Oliver] “Oh Lord! … oh good grief!”

Sounds like Oliver isn’t very good at his sonnets yet.

So, Oliver being Oliver, he blames his tools and dumps his tape recorder.

(tape recorder! I haven’t even seen one of those for 10 or so years. How sweet of Olive to still have one, and use it)

[Oliver] “It makes me sound like a complete buffoon!”

Emma’s got pies in

So Ed gets two pies rather than bread and cheese. Not that there was often any bread left for him …

Ed’s a bit distracted, but doesn’t tell Emma that their money problems just got worse. He doesn’t tell her.

But, later on, Emma finds Ed crying.

He tells her that he now needs to find £4000 for the business.

[Ed] “I didn’t have a choice Em. The cows have got to be milked … Whatever made me think I could be a farmer. I’m a failure. What sort of man can’t support his family.”

Ed’s sobbing even harder now. Emma reckons will sort it out somehow …

Grim.

Rhys and Fallon have adult relations: Wed 21.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Wednesday 21^st November 2012

• Rhys and Fallon’s first date
• Rhys patronises Lynda
• Another disaster for Ed
• Caroline has to choose antiquarian books over tree dressing
• Lynda entices Jim into the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza

Rhys and Fallon’s first date

As Rhys leaves his shift at The Bull, he bumps into Fallon coming back from Jaxx, ready to make herself pretty ahead of their date.

[Rhys] “I don’t know why.”

[Fallon, sounding hurt] “Oh …”

[Rhys] “You’re stunning as you are.”

(aw!)

They first go to the pictures, where Rhys offers to buy Fallon a hot dog. Fallon reckons not, as she’s already eaten, but she does go for some nachos (!).

[Rhys] “My body is a temple but it is sublet to a gang of students!”

The moving is a bad ‘un, but at least they both agree about that. So, they go for a drink.

When they get back to Ambridge later on:

[Rhys] “To the door service. That’ll be £12 please!”

[Fallon] “Best nice out since, well, the last time we went out.”

And, at last, the tip toeing is over:

[Rhys] “Oh for god sake …”

He kisses her. She kisses him back.

[Rhys] “Fallon, do you um, want to come back to mine?”

[Fallon] “Yes. Yes I do. Very much.”

Oh ho!

That’s fast moving after such a slow, slow, slow start.

Rhys patronises Lynda

(without her even knowing)

Seems that when Lynda corners Rhys, his tactic is to:

[Rhys] “Just keep nodding and smiling. It’s what I do.”

Another disaster for Ed

As Ed takes the cluster off of the previously poorly cow, everything falls silent in the diary.

Which isn’t good.

Dairies are supposed to have machinery type noises.

Later on, when Oliver calls round, seems the machinery has been back on. Then off again.

Very unwillingly, Ed reckons he’ll have to call someone out to have a look.

[Oliver] “I don’t think you’ve got much choice Ed.”

Oh dear. This sounds expensive.

Caroline has to choose antiquarian books over tree dressing

Rather than be able to make the Community Orchard meeting, the highlight of which is the tress dressing, Caroline has to stay at Grey Gables for the Borchester Antiquarian Book Society meeting.

That’s a real Sophie’s choice …

Maybe Caroline should have been there. Oliver decided to pay for the Community Orchard event out of his own pocket.

Lynda is delighted with the event:

[Lynda] “I am pleased to see these ancient customs being preserved.”

But:

[Lynda] “ I do hope you want let the Grundys hijack the even with marketing of their turkeys!”

Ah well. Even if they do, we all love a turkey.

Lynda entices Jim into the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza

[Lynda] “The whole event would be enhanced by someone of your gravitas.”

Jim thinks “flattery won’t work”.

Really?

How about making it sound fun?

[Lynda] “It’s a most enjoyable thing to do. Isn’t it Oliver?”

Actually, Oliver tries to tell Lynda that he’s struggling with his sonnets.

Lynda just ignores him. Amazingly, Jim seems to be interested …

[Jim] “A novel presentation though that may be, I think the conventional way up might be more suitable”

So, Jim agrees to take part, and most sincerely hopes the rest of Ambridge is grateful.

He might be waiting some time for such gratitude.

Lynda thinks Jim would be perfect to do one of Shakespeare’s Roman plays. Like when Antony first sees Cleopatra in Antony and Cleopatra.

Burn'd on the water: the poop was beaten gold; Purple the sails, and so perfumed that The winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver, Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made The water which they beat to follow faster, As amorous of their strokes. For her own person, It beggar'd all description: she did lie In her pavilion--cloth-of-gold of tissue-- O'er-picturing that Venus where we see The fancy outwork nature: on each side her Stood pretty dimpled boys, like smiling Cupids, With divers-colour'd fans, whose wind did seem To glow the delicate cheeks which they did cool, And what they undid did.

[Jim] “Far too flowery.”

[Lynda] “But it’s evocative.”

[Jim] “I really don’t want to be emoting about pretty dimpled boys like smiling cupids, thank you very much.”

Jim thinks Coriolanus would be more apt. Lynda’s not sure that would have “popular appeal”.

There was a time when all the body's members Rebell'd against the belly, thus accused it: That only like a gulf it did remain I' the midst o' the body, idle and unactive, Still cupboarding the viand, never bearing Like labour with the rest, where the other instruments Did see and hear, devise, instruct, walk, feel, And, mutually participate, did minister Unto the appetite and affection common Of the whole body. The belly answer'd—

[Lynda] “I’m really not sure Jim, it does get rather anatomical, doesn’t it?”

[Jim] “I’d say metaphorical.”

[Lynda] “Well I'm not sure people would want to have the human body dissected in quite such explicit a fashion. It might put them off their food.”

Well, I think Lynda will win this one. In the end.

Rhys finally asks Fallon out: The Archers Sun 18.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Sunday 18th November 2012

• Cows bulling thrills Ruth
• Daniel had a hangover
• Since when was Hayley a tree decorating expert?
• Hayley has no experience with adults
• Fallon’s plans for Jaxx involve board games
• The barn shall be rebuilt!
• Rhys makes a play for Fallon

Cows bulling thrills Ruth

[Ruth] “Are you excited?”

[David] “I’m not bulling, Ruth.”

[Ruth] “Here we are at the start of our new system.”

So, Brookfield is officially starting its new system. Which is fraught in itself when it comes to feeding and the like. But I don’t suppose they had any other choice – it was that or give up the cows.

[David] “Doesn’t look like any of these are ready for your inseminator charms.”

Ew!


Daniel had a hangover

Quite right too after one’s own 18th birthday. Seems Daniel didn’t see much of Saturday at all.


Since when was Hayley a tree decorating expert?

Jim reckons she is.

[Jim] “I can’t think of anyone better qualified to talk about craft for young children.”

So, alongside giving Jim advice about decorating trees, Hayley also suggests they get the kids to bring jam jars so that they can decorate them as lanterns.

Sounds bonny.


Hayley has no experience with adults
(what’s Roy then?)

She’s worried about the consultant making mention of Lower Loxley needing to have closer links with the local College, running adult education courses and the like.

Hayley’s only got experience with young kids. She thinks they’ll get rid of her and someone with the experience.

But, Hayley doesn’t want to Elizabeth in case she puts the idea in her head (if she’s not thinking like that in the first place). Roy offers to have a “subtle” word.

[Hayley] “We can’t afford to lose my job.”

What a worry.

It’ll get as grim as Ed and Emma’s.


Fallon’s plans for Jaxx involve board games

Fallon’s worried Jaxx is quite quiet today. She’s thinking of how to get more punters in.

She reckons a Sunday roast and board games will get them in, and staying for longer.

[Fallon] “A bit like going round your gran’s for tea. Kind of home from home atmosphere.”

[Rhys] “Yeah, but without the unspoken tension of causal racism …”

[Fallon] “What sort of home did you come from?”

(quite an average one, I’d reckon)

She’ll also get a reggae DJ in.

[Fallon] “Sociable Sunday. Heal your hangover.”

[Rhys] “You’re an absolute natural, aren’t you?”

And Rhys also reckons it is all stuff she’d never be able to do at The Bull.

[Fallon] “It was the right move. Work wise, anyway.”

Missing Rhys, Fallon is.


The barn shall be rebuilt!

David’s heard from the insurers, and they can get cracking on building the barn again.


Rhys makes a play for Fallon

[Rhys] “It’s my night off. I heard a  rumour you had drink on sale.”

Rhys is in at Jaxx. Allegedly to have a drink, but more likely to see Fallon.

Rhys tells Jim that it’s better to be having a busman’s night off than collect stamps (which he doesn’t do anyway).

But he’s really there to see Fallon.

He asks her if she has a night off this week.

[Rhys] “Do you think, I mean you’ve probably got something planned, if not maybe you’d like to go for a drink. Or meal. Or cinema. Anything you want really.”

[Fallon] “Rhys, are you suggesting a date?”

[Rhys] “I am. Say yes, only if you want to.”

[Fallon] “I do want to. Yes.”

Hurrah!

At last!!!

Fallon to leave The Bull: Tues 23.10.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 23rd October 2012

• Fallon’s the new Manager of jazz
• Brenda’s life just gets worse
• When Fallon Met Rhys
• Christmas pudding shapes sausages
• A jobless Christmas?

Fallon’s the new Manager of jazz

Despite being rather reserved during the interview, it seems Don was impressed by Fallon’s “ideas, warmth and charm”.

She’s got the job, on a three month trial.

[Rhys] “You are perfect for the job. It’ll be great.”

Rhys didn’t sound too enthusiastic, neither did Fallon, about not working together.

Aw, they’re going to miss each other.


Brenda’s life just gets worse

Engaged to Tom. Works for Matt (and Lilian – who hates Busty Brenda) and now she has to suffer James also being at the Dower House.

[Brenda] “It’s going to be total misery.”

When Fallon Met Rhys

[Tom] “I just don’t get that, how opposites attract thing.”

Rhys is talking about the part he’s play to Fallon’s in (the extract of) Mucho Ado. Brenda reckons is a When Harry Met Sally type of scenario.

Hmmm.

How long do we think Fallon and Rhys are going to draw this out.


Christmas pudding shapes sausages

That does indeed sounds horrid.

[Brenda] “Me and Roy still have nightmares about eating them.”

Tom’s trying to think of a novelty food items for Christmas. Something a bit more exciting than chipolatas.


A jobless Christmas?

The consultant’s at Lower Loxley draws.

Hayley’s terrified.

[Hayley] “Everyone feels like he’s watching their every little move … anyone could be in for the chop.”

And if it’s her and Roy … they’ll need to go round Ed and Emma’s to find out how to make a loaf of bread feed four morning, noon and night.

An Elizabethan Christmas: Thurs 11.10.12

The Archers Thursday 11th October 2012

• It’s audition time
• Mike reckons Jamie and trees are a perfect match
• How does Robert know about lap dancing clubs?
• A Shakespearian Selection

It’s audition time

For the Christmas show, though Lynda has a longer list of definite no shows than folks who have agreed to turn out.

Tom, Brenda, Roy, Hayley, Kenton and Jolene reckon they won’t be taking part (aye, Lynda will see about that …).

Neville, Nathon, Susan, Tracey and Kirsty are maybes.

Even Ifty, in his keenness to be part of Ambridge (or, to be more exact, Kirsty) is a maybe.

[Lynda] “He adds something to the cast.”

[Robert] “A degree of masculinity.”

Then Lynda made mention that she has Jazzer in mind for Borachio … isn’t Jazzer masculine enough for all?

Anyhoo – Lynda wants Fallon for the romantic lead. Jim’s also popped in (not to volunteer, more to meddle), and he reads Benedick to her Beatrice. It’s not very … romantic … but luckily enough Rhys also pops by. He reads Benedick, and they’re marvellous together.

Ah, here we go again.

Will Fallon get her leading man this year?

But, there’s not enough volunteers to make a play.

[Lynda] “All the regulars are deserting.”

[Robert] “We’re not going to solve anything hanging about in a deserted village hall at night.”

So they head home for a “large one”.


Mike reckons Jamie and trees are a perfect match

Kathy’s really putting a lot of thought into whether she should let Jamie leave college to be a tree surgeon. She’s even asking Mike’s advice.

She reckons the only time he shows any enthusiasm is when he has a chainsaw (yikes!) or is working with Mike. Jamie just hates college, and doesn’t get good grades.

[Kathy] “Well I don’t know. Is it true? If he left school now, could he really make a career out of tree surgery?”

[Mike] “He’s definitely got a feeling for trees.”

Mike also reckons Jamie has the perfect makings. He’s interested. Asks the right things. Has enthusiasm and uses his brains (when it comes to trees). Any anyway, Jamie would need qualifications, and could possibly do a degree later on. So he wouldn’t be completely abandoning education.

[Mike] “Not every child is academic Kathy, but it don't mean they can’t get on in life, eh?”

Ah, that’s why Mike’s being so positive. He’s thinking of his child, and though she might not get a 1st from Cambridge, it doesn’t mean she won’t have a cracking life.

Though hopefully his wor4ds will encourage Kathy to let Jamie actually be happy.


How does Robert know about lap dancing clubs?

He reads the papers.

Or that’s what he told Lynda …


A Shakespearian Selection

Robert’s really very good at coming up with good ideas.

Lynda’s quite upset that she hasn’t got a sufficient cast for Much Ado … so Robert suggests:

[Robert] “Instead of doing any whole play, what you should do is a Shakespearian selection.”

So, rather than a whole play, folks can do shot speeches, dance, music and the like.

Which will also mean no long rehearsals, with each person doing a turn able to rehearse solo.

Which, in turn, should make it easier for more to volunteer.

[Lynda] “A real Elizabethan Christmas!”

[Robert] “Jugglers, Fire-eaters … “

[Lynda] “Health and safety, Robert.”

[Robert] “They didn’t have to worry about that at The Globe.”

[Lynda] “Didn't it burn down?”

[Robert] “I tell you what, I’ll build you a Globe Theatre.”

[Lynda] “An Elizabethan Christmas … what better way to mark the end of a Jubilee year.”

Indeed.

Shame it’s not a Panto, but.

*sniff*

Lynda’s spinning lama wool: Wed 03.10.12

The Archers Wednesday 3rd October 2012

• A baby blanket made of lama wool
• Vicky cries for her daughter
• Jazzer moves in with Jim
• Comparing Ifty to Tom
• Alice could get a job
• Fallon’s feeling lonely

A baby blanket made of lama wool

Is what Lynda’s making for Vicky.

[Lynda] “There’s quite an art to spinning and knitting with Lama wool … as the yarn twists, my own tension seems to unwind.”

But, as Lynda then moves on to explaining casting (in great detail), Vicky starts to cry.

But it’s not that she now has to pretend to like a lama blanket (actually, I would quite like one of those) … it’s far more serious than that.


Vicky cries for her daughter

While at work today, Vicky was shown pictures of her work mate’s daughter.

The daughter is one of those who have done very worthy things, all around the world. Volunteered to help children abroad, and all that.

[Vicky] “My little girl’s never going to do that, is she any of it. Travelling on her own. Seeing the world.”

[Lynda] “Oh Vicky, she might travel. And even if she doesn’t think of the things she will do. She might be an actress, or love painting ....”

[Vicky] “No matter how much I care for her and love her, she’ll never be able to fly the nest like that.”

[Lynda] “No, not quite, but she can become very independent.”

[Vicky] “She’s not even born yet and so many doors are slamming shut.” 

[Lynda] “But Vicky, she’s very lucky to have a mother like you, who will do her damndest to push a lot of them open again.”

[Vicky] “I can’t change how my little girl is …”

Well, Vicky will have been thinking it. So probably best she’s able to talk it through with a friend.

We left her and Lynda sobbing …


Jazzer moves in with Jim

Christine’s first night with Jazzer was not a happy one.

(for ‘with’ don’t read anything into it … ‘with’ as in in the same house with, rather than ‘with’ with …)

Seems Christine is a light sleeper, and was woken by Jazzer as he left early hours for work.

[Jazzer] “I’m sorry about that. It’s poor thanks for a favour.”

So, Jim steps in.

Jazzer doesn’t seem like he’s bothered about where he stays. I’ve still no idea why he can’t stay with his mum …

[Jazzer] “I get my ain key?”

[Jim] “Unless you intent to teleport yourself in …”

Jim’s rules are that there’s no smoking, even in the garden. No guests. And no loud music.

[Jim] “As long as we treat each other with respect and due consideration at all times, I’m sure we’ll get on well.”

Jazzer’s out to impress from the off.

Before he retires for the night, he asks to borrow a book on Greek Myths.

What a sook!


Comparing Ifty to Tom

Kirsty seems to becoming “an item” with Ifty.

She’s enjoying being with him. It’s seemingly easy.

In fact, the last time she connected this way with a bloke was Tom …

… really?

Tom, easy to be with?


Alice could get a job

If she gets her degree.

But at least she has the job offer on the table. A development engineer with an aircraft equipment supplier.

Sounds well paid.


Fallon’s feeling lonely

[Kirsty] “Where’s the party girl gone, Fallon?”

[Fallon] “I dunno, the whole world just seems to go round in pairs … these day I’d much rather be in a relationship that means something, then just settle for a quick thrill. At the moment, the only way that’s going to happen is if I buy myself a cat.”

All together now … Rhys!!!

Matt and Lilian, en Paris: Fri 28.09.12

The Archers Friday 28th September 2012

• Matt loves Lilian
• Christine feels sorry for Jazzer
• Rhys and Fallon to star in the Christmas Extravaganza?
• Christine’s winding up Jim
• Joe’s teeth are on the beer mat
• Jim’s not impressed with Much Ado

Matt loves Lilian

[Lilian] “Taking a tour of Paris in a chauffeured 2 CV, how wonderfully ridiculous!”

Lilian is loving her time in Paris with Matt.

[Matt] “This trip is about pure pleasure.”

Matt’s really pulling out every stop.

[Matt] “We forget to say how much we love each to each other. This is my way of saying it.”

Ah, if only that was Matt’s only motive. Paul’s return is more likely …

But Lilian seems to have fallen for it. She’s having a ball, and remembering all the good things in life.

[Matt] “Am I one of the good guys. You do know that, Lilian.”

Indeed she does.

She suggests they return to their hotel room, quick sharp.

Wonder if Paris will be enough to keep Matt in Lilian’s mind above Paul?


Christine feels sorry for Jazzer

[Christine] “At least we have homes, I saw Jazzer this morning.”

Hmmm.

Christine did seem to enjoy Jazzer’s company the other day.

I wonder ...


Rhys and Fallon to star in the Christmas Extravaganza?

Seems one can’t move around Ambridge for catching sight of one of Lynda’s poster advertising the Christmas Shakespearian Extravaganza auditions.

As Fallon and Rhys relax and listen to records (well, probably downloads, rather than records), they both admit they’re going to audition for the Christmas show.

Harry and Fallon, but with Rhys and Fallon?

We think they’re falling for each other … they kiss … then … nothing …

Surely not?

Not after Fallon’s made Rhys a mixed tape (well, CD) for his journey back home for a visit.

That’s proper commitment, that is.


Christine’s winding up Jim

Christine and Jim are again talking about Borchester Life magazine.

Christine seems to have changed her tune. She now thinks writing for the magazine might not be right for Jim after all.

[Christine] “Is a touch beyond … well, maybe it’s just  not you.”

[Jim] “I certainly like to think I’m a man whose words appeal to a wider market.”

Ah, gauntlet thrown. Jim’s bound to do it now!


Joe’s teeth are on the beer mat

Seems they’re still giving him gip.


Jim’s not impressed with Much Ado

[Jim] “Explores the obstacles to young love, and the merry war between the sexes … a fuss about not lot.”

Joe concurs.

[Joe] “I don’t want to watch men, in tights, kissing in the village hall … good old fashioned blood and gore, that would be worth buying a ticket for!”

(begs the question about what venue would Joe prefer to watch men, in tights, kissing)

Fallon and Rhys’ big night out: Tues 25.09.12

The Archers Tuesday 25th September 2012

• Just mates on a night out
• A shop? Sounds Like a night club
• Some mate Brenda is …
• Rhys doesn’t like sharing his food
• No work allowed
• Matt whisks Lilian away
• Tom’s cobbler was cobblers

Just mates on a night out

So Fallon and Rhys went off on their much deserved night off – as paid for by Kenton and Jolene.

But Fallon feels odd that it’s just she and he.

They’re just mates.

[Kirsty] “So you’re worried about having a good time?”

*sigh*

If Fallon and Rhys don’t get together after all of this (a la Fallon and Harry), one will not be amused …


A shop? Sounds Like a night club

Goodness, I must be getting old. I thought it was bad enough that I only like pubs with no music, and where I can get a seat. Now it seems shops are too loud for me.

Fallon was out shopping with Brenda, trying to find something new to wear tonight.

It was ear achingly loud.


Some mate Brenda is …

Just as I was staring to appreciate Brenda (she’s been a marvel with Vicky), she goes and becomes the ‘normal’ Brenda again.

Matt’s was on about Jazzer not being able to pay the full rent, as he still doesn’t have a flatmate. He’s going to throw Jazzer out if he doesn’t manage to find a solution.

He tells Brenda to write Jazzer an eviction letter, which she does. Without complaint, neither remorse nor any pity for her supposed mate.

In fact, I could actually hear her smirking …

Nasty girl.


Rhys doesn’t like sharing his food

Rhys and Fallon have gone to a Caribbean restaurant.

Rhys has mango and crayfish salad.

Which Fallon thinks look delicious. Rhys offers her a taste. But she doesn’t want it. Then she does.

I thought Fallon was worried they’d be re-enacting that spaghetti scene from Lady and the Trap … but seems she was picking up vibes from Rhys.

He doesn’t actually like to share.

[Fallon] “That’s weird. I knew it. You're weird!”

I quite agree.

Food is most definitely to be shared.


No work allowed

Rhys and Fallon have agreed that they’re not allowed to talk work.

So they rambled on about plants.

Which was odd.

Thing is, they weren’t talking about work as in the practical side of it. They were talking about the social side. The folks and things of Ambridge.

Which I think is a fair topic for dinner conversation.

And, without that to talk about, Rhys and Fallon haven’t much to say.

[Fallon] “Wonder how long the next course is going to take …”

Rhys turns to talking about sport. He starts telling Fallon the intricacies of weight lifting … funnily enough, Fallon wants to end their dinner early.

[Fallon] “I can’t listen to you anymore, droning on and on about one sport or another.”

But the evening wasn’t a complete disaster.

By the end of their meal. Fallon sounded quite jolly again.

Might have been the wine.

She and Rhys find they have £30 left of the money Jolene and Kenton gave them.

Off dancing they go.


Matt whisks Lilian away

Matt demanded Lilian come outside, and have a look in his boot …

… I thought he was showing her a corpse … Lilian was also quite perturbed.

[Lilian] “Matt, you haven’t done something terrible have you?”

Matt reveals it’s quite the opposite.

Matt’s booked a boutique night in London, then the Eurostar, to be in Paris by 10am.

Why?

[Matt] “You’ve been a bit below par haven’t you, so I though some TLC was in order.”

[Lilian] “You’re certainly full of surprises,  aren’t you.”

[Matt] “I certainly am … (the aside, to himself) … and don’t you forget it …”

Aha!

So Matt has spotted that Lilian will know Paul’s back within reach.

Flatter and pamper the lady to keep the lady?


Tom’s cobbler was cobblers

Tom was at a food fair, inflicting his ready meals on an unsuspecting public.

Though they had the last laugh.

His Cobbler wasn’t popular. Nor his stir fry.

But Tom’s not down heartened. He’s glad to have the feedback. Though he would have liked some orders as well.

And at least he has his woman.

[Tom] “What would I do without you, eh?”

[Brenda] “Drink less wine …”

Tom makes mention of their wedding again.

Brenda ignores him …

Oh dear.

Didn’t Brenda say to leave it for a bit? Tom surely can’t think he can make Brenda suddenly want to marry him by going on, and on, and on, and on, and on …

A Lance from Kenton’s past: Tues 21.08.12

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 21st August 2012

• Kenton ruined Jolene’s Rotorua brochure
• Jolene has doubts about Kenton?
• Kenton’s thoughtlessness continues
• What about Sid?
• I though Crowded House were Australian
• Blow the Man Down is rude!
• Lance sounds dodgy …
• At least one person notices Jolene

Kenton ruined Jolene’s Rotorua brochure

Not intentionally, but was a bit thoughtless of him to lie on it. Jolene wanted to keep it as a souvenir.


Jolene has doubts about Kenton?

Jolene’s talk with Mel – how Kenton left her penniless with a baby – is seemingly making her have second thoughts about Kenton,.

[Jolene] “Well, you think you know someone …”

[Kenton] “It was all different back then. It was all very complicated.”

Kenton’s thoughtlessness continues

Kenton wants to go out on the boat trip for a whole week rather than a few days.

Despite Jolene not being keen.

It’ll cost an extra £800 or £900. Which they don’t really have.

He even asked if Jolene would pay it …

And it’d mean Meriel having to take a whole week of school.

It is all about Meriel. Kenton feels that he’s losing her to Aiden. All the activities they done so far:

[Kenton] “They’re all Aiden sort of things … and he’s good at them.”

[Jolene] “So you’re trying to freeze him out.”

[Kenton] “I just want to do some proper bonding with my daughter.”

Aye, and who cares what Kenton’s (rather new) lady friend wants to do on their holiday!


What about Sid?

Kenton’s extension to the boat trip is right when Jolene was to go to Napier to see Lucy, and visit Sid’ memorial.

[Kenton] “Well maybe you could reschedule … I could come with you, if you want?”

[Jolene] “Oh don’t bother. You’ve obviously plenty to do here!”

Honestly Kenton!

A bit of tact, and care for Jolene’s feelings, wouldn’t go amiss right now.

Though Jolene manages to change when she’ll go visit Lucy, Lucy’s none too amused at the change.


I though Crowded House were Australian

So was wondering why they were being played as a musical interlude.

On checking, seems they’re both Australian and New Zealand.

Well, there we have it.


Blow the Man Down is rude!

And there’s another thing I didn’t know.


Lance sounds dodgy …

Lance turns up at Mel’s house. Unannounced. And he’s never visited before.

Seems Lance was a business partner of Mel and Kenton’s back in Australia. They’d bought a yacht, which they used to takes folks on day trips and the like to the Great Barrier Reef.

[Meriel] “Why did you stop?”

[Kenton] “Erm …”

[Lance] “Well we had good times while it lasted …Who’d have though Kenton would be here to like the ghost of Christmas past!”

[Kenton] “That’s cause ‘I’ve got family here.”

Sounds like Kenton’s none too pleased to see Lance.

And neither he nor Mel believe Lance showing up just when Kenton happened to be there is a coincidence.


At least one person notices Jolene

Shame she’s on the other side of the world.

Between Meriel, Lance and the boat trip, Jolene is being ignored.

So while Kenton, Lance and Mel have a grand old time reliving old stories, Jolene calls home.

Fallon tells her all’s well. That Rhys has been great (she also agrees he's a “nice lad” … romance in the offing? Fallon surely has to put some distance between her and her night of passion with Jazzer!).

Jolene tells her they visited a Maori village and ate food cooked on rocks.

And they went to an Argentinian restaurant.

[Jolene] “You’ve never seen so much beef on a plate … even when Kenton kept making jokes about the Falklands …”

[Fallon, very sarcastically] “He’s a scream, isn’t he …”

Oops.

I don’t think Kenton will be staying at The Bull when they get home.