Darrell will have to do wrong again: Tues 12.03.13 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 12th March 2013

• Brenda’s not a happy work bunny
• Elona buys sweets for the residents
• Jill ties to recruit Elona to the WI
• What’s a “sporting evening”?
• Matt in Borchester Life?
• Vicky’s fuming

Paul asks Lilian to run away to Dubai: Thurs 27.12.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 27 December 2012

• Matt’s finding Christmas a tad dull
• Pat Fletcher’s still squeezing herself into a bodice
• Kirsty and Fallon don’t kiss
• Lynda and Lilian face off
• Just get on a plane …
• There’s little excitement about tomorrow
• Lilian makes a booking

Matt’s finding Christmas a tad dull

[Matt] “What are you doing … I’m bored. Do you want to go for a walk?”

Lilian says no.

Matt even offers to take Lilian shopping again, to get that coat she’d tried on in Borchester.

[Lilian] “No. It’s very sweet of you. But no, thank you, really.”

[Matt] “It’s no good. I just don’t do down time.”

I would feel sorry for Matt – he is trying – but he’s brought a lot of this on himself. While I don’t condone cheating, I also don’t condone treating your partner like a mug for years and years and years …

Course, Lilian doesn’t want to go anywhere with Matt as she wants time to herself to call Paul.


Pat Fletcher’s still squeezing herself into a bodice

(for the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza)

Seems her costume is so tight that Kirsty and Fallon are worried she won’t be able to sing.

A picture of that would be quite fascinating …

Seems that’s not the only problem:

[Fallon] “Pat Fletcher’s got this weird  swaying thing that she does.”

[Kirsty] “Like something from a gospel choir. Lynda’s got Molly skipping round in a  rip off of the film.”

Hey Nonny Nonny never sounded so intriguing.


Kirsty and Fallon don’t kiss

Rhys can’t make rehearsal, so Fallon and Kirsty rehearse his and Fallon’s love scene instead.

Though they skip the kiss at the end.


Lynda and Lilian face off

Lynda’s furious that Lilian missed the last rehearsal (while she was in New York). Of special note was that Lilian was due to have her costume fitted.

[Lynda] “As of now, the special privileges you have been claiming need to stop.”

Lynda seems to think that Lilian seems to think (!) that she can do as she pleases, because James is in a relationship with Leonie.

[Lilian] “For heaven’s sake Lynda, it’s a winceyette nightie off the market not a Karl Lagerfeld catwalk!”

Lynda’s really hit a nerve:

[Lilian] “If I can get my hands on some gall of goat and slips of yew right now I’d made this would production, not this whole village, disappear. Got it!”

Oh dear! Lilian really isn’t a happy bunny.


Just get on a plane …
Lilian finally gets to speak to Paul.

She says she’s feeling cooped up. Matt’s around 24/7. She wants to just get away from everyone and everything.

(don’t we all feel like that after being trapped with our nearest and dearest over the festive season?)

[Paul] “There’s plenty of flights to Dubai …”

[Lilian] “You're not serious?”

[Paul] “Try me”

Paul reckons they could stay with his sister, or in a hotel.

Goodness me!

What a  choice.

A Matt driving himself mad with nothing to do, or Paul in Dubai.


There’s little excitement about tomorrow

[Lynda] “I look forward to a truly uplifting evening tomorrow.”

Seems Lynda is the only one.

[Fallon] “It was all okay, it was just a bit flat. Nothing like the usual panto atmosphere.”

[Kenton] “Even with my witty banter?”

Not really.

Oh dear.

I hope Lynda is the only one clapping at the end.


Lilian makes a booking

When Lilian gets home after rehearsal, Matt’s hassling her to go away again.

(two men in one day – lucky lady!)

But they can’t. Lilian’s already committed them to going with Brian and Jennifer to Lower Loxley for New Year.

[Matt] “Uh, New Year with Jennifer and Brian. With any luck I’ll be dead of inertia boredom by then.”

Lilian snaps at him for moaning.

Matt storms off the bed.

Lilian picks up the phone, and asks to make a booking …

… is this Lilian going to Dubai?

Benjamin eats a hat 01.04.12

The Archers Sunday 1st April 2012

• Benjamin was well behaved … then not
• Why do the arks need moved again?
• Jazzer damaged the bull bar
• Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life
• Christening a Forge
• The truth about Amy and Carl
• Jolene wants everyone in the car park
• Harry had to check his cereal
• Jennifer is still “popping in”

Benjamin was well behaved … then not

Benjamin and Shula are back at St Stephen’s for Palm Sunday.

(Benjamin is Shula’s donkey, generally only making an appearance in Ambridge at Palm Sunday).

He was very well behaved at first.

But later “went for” Pat Fletcher’s hat.

Seems she goes purple when she’s upset …

Shula later tells Jill that she thinks it was Pat Fletcher’s fault for flapping her hat about in the first place.

(mais non – if Pat Fletcher said no, she said no!)

By the by – we had the first mention of someone acknowledging that Shula has been in Ste Stephens more often than not recently. Jill said it was nice to see her back, though Shula did make mention that she’d be going elsewhere for the Easter walk.


Why do the arks need moved again?

Jazzer’s back (well, back near the secret microphones), and is moaning that the rain means all of the pigs need fresh straw.

AND the arks need moved. Again.

Is that normal pig management behaviour? To keep moving the arks?


Jazzer damaged the bull bar

Of Tom’s quad bike.

[Jazzer] “90% of it was doon to the gatepost, It was in the wrang place!”

[Tom] “Next to the gate!”

But not to worry. Though Tom wants Jazzer to do extra shifts for him, they’re not as punishment – Tom will pay extra. He’s just that busy.

[Jazzer] “Hold on, let me do my concerned face …”

Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life

[Jazzer] “I telt Janine, if she serves Tom Archer pork, we’re done before we’re started!”

Ooh.

I know Jazzer is a cheeky monkey, but not a clever thing to say to one’s boss.


Christening a Forge

Are what Chris and Alice intend to do on Thursday – the day that Chris gets ownership of the forge.

He’ll make his first piece of work in his own place, glass of wine, then a meal out.

Alice is keen for Amy to come. With Carl.


The truth about Amy and Carl

Alice is obsessed with wanting to meet Amy’s new love interest, Carl. Alan is also dropping hints.

So to get Alice off of her back, Amy explains all.

It’s quite simple, really. She just wants to take it slow with Carl.

[Amy] “This feels, special. I don’t want to wreck it”

[Alice] “You won’t. Carl is a very lucky guy. Have some faith in yourself”

But that’s exactly what Amy doesn’t have bags and bags of (faith in herself).

Amy tells Alice about her “mood” over Christmas because of what Alan had found out about her mum.

[Amy] “Dad found out that mum had been to prison … a secure children’s home … she stabbed someone when she was a kid … I’d always though mum was like, fantastic, then suddenly she wasn’t like that anymore … the worse thing was, the way I was feeling, it kinda made sense … I couldn’t work out why I do certain things, you know I have a really short temper … what I thought was that if mum could stab someone, maybe here’s some of that in me as well … so disgusted, I really did hate myself …”

Amy explains that her mum’s attack had happened because of constant racist abuse.

[Amy] “Just because I get angry sometimes, doesn’t mean I’m an awful person. Mum was a decent person, I shouldn't have doubted her … if someone like him thinks I’m okay, then I must be … I’m putting all that daft stuff behind me, but only one step at a time”

So – Amy wants to keep Carl away from her nearest and dearest because she’s still slightly worried she’s not a good ‘un?

I don’t see the sense in that.

Surely meeting the lovely Alan and co would only prove that she is?

Or does Amy just really (really) want to keep Carl away from Ambridge?


Jolene wants everyone in the car park

Steady on! I thought she was committed to our Kenton.

I jest.

Jolene wants everyone in The Bull’s car park for the flyover photo session by James and Leonie. Jazzer reckons she even wants them to make a shape like a bull’s horns.

[Jazzer] “that’s if that chinless wonder managed to point the camera the right way”

Though Tom reckons James is not an idiot:

[Jazzer] “Could pass for one in an emergency”

Jolene even wants her regulars to practise, as the photo could go down in history.

Hmmm.


Harry had to check his cereal

For booby traps.

[Jazzer] “Just cause it’s April the first, he assumes I’m gonnae act like some kind of kid!”

[Tom] “What did you actually do?”

[Jazzer] “Itching powder in his cycling shorts”

[Tom] “Excellent”

Jennifer is still “popping in”

To Alice and Chris’.

And it’s still irritating Alice that she does so.

[Amy] “It’s nice that she likes spending time with you”

Alice reckons that it’s more to do with Jennifer wanting to get away from Brian while he’s so stressed and preoccupied with the Super Dairy planning meeting (two weeks away).