Brookfield’s front page news: Thurs 21.06.12

The Archers Thursday 21st June 2012

• “Oh noooo.”
• Alice tends to (a more reasonable?) Amy
• Josh is scared
• Moussaka
• Neil’s doing star jumps
• David needs to tell Adam

“Oh noooo.”

I love it when Ruth says that. I even have 5 of those “oh noooo” t-shirts!

Anyhoo – the “oh noooo” was uttered by Ruth when she saw the front page headline of The Echo:

Terror on local farm headline

Not amusing at all. Though Josh has found it to be useful. The girls at his school were calling him a hero, because:

[Josh] “ … in this one it looks like I’m the only steward facing the bullocks.”

[David] “And you’re proud of that, are you … makes us look at least inept, and at the very worst completely unprofessional and unsafe … it’s an image of our farm that will stay in everybody’s mind, no matter what it says about vandalism or whatever!”

[Ruth] “For goodness sake David, it’s not Josh’s fault.”

[David] “Well he doesn’t seem that bothered about it …”

The newspaper article has quotes from parents calling Brookfield “incompetent”, and describes how scared, terrified and desperate folks were. Which Ruth reckons all of which is true.


Alice tends to (a more reasonable?) Amy

Again.

She’s got wine and a DVD, while Chris escapes to his mum’s to get his birthday present, then onto nets and The Bull.

From the start, it sounded like Amy was coming  back to being ‘normal’ again. She tells Alice of her day at work. Which involved being midwife to a 15 year old, who lives in a care home, birthing partner was a care worker, the father of her child not to be seen, and her own mother not speaking to her.

[Amy] “Kinda puts your own pathetic problems into perspective, doesn’t it?”

Later on:

[Amy] “I’m so ashamed … I’d have stayed with Carl, even though in know he was married with a  little girl, if he told me he’d leave them for me. I’m a monster.”

[Alice] “You were in love.”

[Amy] “You know, the sad thing is, I think his marriage really is a sham … the things he said when he talked his wife, it was all about money really … status, I don’t think he once said he loved her … Usha was right about me all along. I said some horrible hateful; things to her. I didn’t event take her a birthday card, can you believe it … I don’t think I can even face her.”

[Alice] “If it were me, I’d get it over with, as soon as I could.”

I concur.

And hurrah to Amy finally realising she’s not been the most rationale, easy or mature people of late.


Josh is scared

Quite right to be so.

[Josh] “Suppose I’ve accidentally filmed something or somebody.”

Josh handed his camera over to the Police, and he’s worried he did unwittingly film something important, which will mean he has to give evidence. Ruth reckons it won’t come to that, but will ask Usha.

[Josh] “When’s it all going to be over mum?”

Moussaka

My goodness, it was refreshing to hear Amy and Alice just chat about stuff, rather than about Amy … Carl … Usha …

Alice has made Moussaka for Amy, which Amy muchly appreciates. Alice  muchly appreciates Amy being appreciative.

[Alice] “Sometimes the way Chris eats, I swear he hardly notices what it is let alone what it tastes like. It’s not so much eating as posting it down.”

Neil’s doing star jumps

[Adam] “Someone said they spotted Neil doing a few star jumps and press ups before nets”

Now there’s a picture …

Seems Ambridge lost to Paxley, but has high hopes of beating Loxley Barrett this weekend.

But sounds like Neil’s efforts to impress don’t have much chance of winning.

[Adam] “I don’t know if Ifty can work some sort of magic, at his age.”

Meow!


David needs to tell Adam

As David and Adam are having a pint, Adam mentions that he thinks the bullocks being let loose was only due to vandalism, and that it was probably kids who’d done the damage.

So, he still hasn’t a clue …


David asks Adam about his birthday plans:

[Adam] “Ian’s got plans, apparently they involve a Michelin star … To be honest, I’m doing it for him. It’s lovely, but I know I’m just going to be so tired.”

Adam also mentions that he’s back at work, but not up to full par.

[Adam] “It’s stick to my fingers a bit, if you know what I mean.”

He tells David how much of a “nightmare” it’s been since he was attacked, and how amazing Ian has been in supporting him.

[David] “Well don’t you worry. I’ll be there in court to help nail them.”

What else could David say?

And really, what else can David do but still see this through?

Kenton hasn’t done his homework: Wed 20.06.12

The Archers Wednesday 20th June 2012

• Lynda’s behaving oddly
• Sports Vs Culture at the Village Fete committee
• Ruth’s swithering
• Matt’s being thoughtful
• Watch out for Hilary Noakes’ Damson Jam
• The Ambridge Torch
• Excuse me, Lynda does the posters!
• The field has approval
• Just let Amy go

Lynda’s behaving oddly

[Kenton] “Are you all right? I’d just been wondering whether you’d be struck by lightning or if you’re channelling your inner scarecrow”

[Lynda] “I’m sorry?”

[Kenton] “Lynda, you’re standing stock still in the middle of the village”

[Lynda] “Ah, no … look, there, beyond that oak.”

[Kenton] “Oh yes, birds.”

[Lynda] “Not just birds Kenton, they’re my peregrines and they’re fledglings. What a wonderful sight!”

[Kenton] “Not if you’re a pigeon, I imagine.”

[Lynda] “Oh how very prosaic!”

Lynda was also a bit perturbed Kenton reporting that he often sees the peregrines while he’s outside The Bull. He’s not even remotely interested. But this was the first time she’s seen the fledglings.


Sports Vs Culture at the Village Fete committee

Though Lynda told Kenton that she expected to hear great things about his plans for the sports elements of the Fete, Kenton did take the hint, and so didn’t prepare for the committee meeting.

Silly Kenton.

Half way through the committee meeting, Kenton decides to get everyone a drink. And then has the nerve to ask Matt to take the drink upstairs to the meeting.

[Kenton] “Just tell them I’ve been waylaid by a customer … you do happen to know any good village websites, do you?”

(Surprisingly, Matt agrees to be waiter. He really is in a great mood these days)

Course, Lynda has done her homework. For the Cultural Olympiad part of the fete, Lynda has planned for a dance festival, with the Morris men from Waterley Cross:

[Lynda] “Thereby marrying the sporting with the cultural.”

Compare even just this one example of Lynda’s work to Kenton’s cobbled together ideas.

A tug of war, across the river Am. And Dragon boat racing.

[Kenton] “So many kids are wrapped in cotton wool today; they need to experience a bit of risk and adventure.”

Lynda is horrified that Kenton has put such little thought into the sports.

Actually, I thought his ideas were fine, for starters.


Ruth’s swithering

Ruth told Usha about the threats they’ve been receiving, and the reason for the Open Farm Sunday chaos.

[Usha] “Just stick it out. You’ll be so glad you did.”

[Ruth] “I’m not sure Jill’s so sure. Nor me.”

Uh oh.

Will Ruth let David get to court?


Matt’s being thoughtful

Who’d have thunk it?

After Jolene mentioned to Matt that she and Kenton couldn’t afford to go to New Zealand, Matt then mentioned it to Jill.

[Matt] “Oh well, you can’t always get what you want, as the Rolling Stones once said.”

Later on, Jill is late for the committee meeting because (she claims) she had to pop home to check she’d closed her bedroom windows.

But she’s actually gone back to get her cheque book. She wants to pay for Kenton and Jolene to go to New Zealand.

[Jill] “It’s easy to find excuses to not go to somewhere so far away … you and Meriel deserve to spend some time together … families are what’s important, not money. I’m only too glad I can help.”

Watch out for Hilary Noakes’ Damson Jam

[Lynda] “Jim didn’t realise that Hilary Noakes Damson Jam still has the stones in it.”

Jim now has a chipped tooth, and horrific toothache. He’s even had to miss the Fete committee.

At least Jim’s excuse was better than Vicky’s. She sent a text to Lynda saying:

[Lynda] “ (text from Vicky) “Sorry, suddenly came over all tired, limbs like led, dropped off in armchair” …”

The Ambridge Torch

Not to be outdone by the Olympic Torch, Ambridge shall have its own.

It’ll be part of the opening ceremony of the Fete, and the committee has decided that it’ll be carried round a route that everyone can see and cheer on.

Exciting …!


Excuse me, Lynda does the posters!

[Lynda] “May I interject?”

[Kenton] “Interject away.”

Lynda was a bit put out that at the committee, there was talk of posters being made.

Actually, Lynda and Robert always make the posters (so it would seem). Lynda and Robert have the “latest software”, and Lynda and Robert always make sure the posters using copy which won’t exclude.

Kenton has a lot to learn about who does what when it comes to community projects.


The field has approval

The riverside field that BL gifted to the village had been awarded its deed of dedication, and a plaque is on the way. The committee decided that the field will be dedicated to the Queen.

(how can they have just decided that when the plaque has already been sent?)


Just let Amy go

Usha tells Ruth that Amy didn’t even bother to get her a card for her 50th.

[Ruth] “Silly girl.”

[Usha] “She’s getting her own back. No one likes home truths.”

Usha is worried that now Amy has fled to Alice’s, she’ll next move into sharing a shared flat for good.

[Usha] “We might never get a proper chance to make things up.”

Usha compares this situation to David and Elizabeth.

But no – that doesn’t work.

Elizabeth isn’t speaking to David because she believes David contributed to Nigel dying.

Amy isn’t speaking to Usha because Amy’s boyfriend was married.

Elizabeth is distraught and unreasonable.

Amy is indeed just a silly girl.

Amy really is a scary stalker: Wed 13.06.12

The Archers Wednesday 13th June 2012

• David’s teas are worse than Ruth’s?
• There’s no point talking to her, Alan
• David must testify
• What a cliché!

David’s teas are worse than Ruth’s?

Now that takes some taking. It’s a marvel their three kids have had enough sustenance to grow.

Ruth’s was off out tonight, so Ben reckons David sorting tea will mean sandwiches.

Poor Ben.


There’s no point talking to her, Alan

[Alan] “I’m saying atmosphere’s not good for anyone … she is not a bad person,. She would never intentionally hurt you.”

Alan tells Amy she’s destroying their family, and asks her to sit down and talk with him and Usha.

But no.

The silly wee brat won’t.

Now there’s a surprise.

[Amy] “Usha lied to me and she thinks I go out with married men. The truth is, that relationship, it meant something to me dad”

*sigh*

Later, Usha to Ruth:

[Usha] “Apparently someone once described stepchildren as in-laws who you have to love but who actually hate you.”

[Ruth] “That bad, eh?”

Oh yes.

Alan tells Usha what happened earlier on:

[Alan] “I was trying to talk to her, she wouldn’t engage, she just went.”

He’s been trying to call her since, but Amy isn’t answering. The hospital has also been trying to get in touch about her shifts.

I hate to say it – but I really couldn’t care less what’s happened to Amy. Just as long as we get a wee bit of peace from her …


David must testify

So reckoned Usha, when Ruth told her about what’s been happening at Brookfield.

Seems everything has calmed down for a bit. Ben isn’t having nightmares, and with Ed and Bert also in on the bad doings, Ruth feels a bit safer being part of a crowd.

She wants to now go ahead with Open Farm Sunday. What with the Police, and the stewards, she thinks the gang won’t do anything.

However, Ruth’s now thinking ahead to the court case:

[Ruth] A big part of me wants David to pull out.”

[Usha] “To not testify? You can’t do that … what kind of world will Josh and Ben grown up in if people like David don’t do the right thing?”

(what about Pip?)

[Ruth] “Who will protect me kids Usha?”

Simples, reckons Usha.

David tells the truth in court. The bad men get jailed.

[Usha] “You will come out of this stronger Ruth. You, David and the kids.”

Either which way, Ruth feels better for sharing. And is muchly looking forward to Usha’s birthday party.

[Ruth] “I feel like I’ve been living in this weird bubble.”

What a cliché!

Very irritating, but Alice tracked down Amy.

She called while Amy was listening to Christina Aguilera’s I Am Beautiful.

Amy was sobbing as she talked down the phone to Alice.

She had gone to the café she and Carl (once) went to.

And was now sat outside Carl’s flat.

[Amy] “He hasn’t shown up. I’ve been here since 6 o’ clock. Where is he Alice? Why isn’t Carl here? I can’t let him go. I just can’t …”

Oh goodness me!

Alice tells Amy to stay put. She’s on her way to take Amy back to hers.

Chris will be happy about that (!).

That Amy also needs to try and be original once in a while.

Ben’s having nightmares Mon 11.06.12

The Archers Monday 11th June 2012

• Blood everywhere
• Didn’t he have a lovely time with Lilian!
• Beware of Matt bearing gifts

Blood everywhere

Is what Ben’s been seeing in his nightmares.

David and Ruth also told Josh (as well as Pip) about the threats. Josh had seen the Police arriving when he was leaving for school. Now he’s back home sick from school with a headache.

Though they haven’t told Ben, David and Ruth have had to tell Bert (so Freda as well), Ed and Emma (for Keira’s sake).

Seems the Police have also been telling Brookfield not to go ahead with Open Farm Sunday.

[Ruth] “It’s different now … I think we need to pull out.”

Didn’t he have a lovely time with Lilian!

Lilian’s round at Adam’s to cheer him up.

She gave him the “ultimate spa collection”

Put Hattie from BAFF into perspective:

[Lilian] “(Jennifer) was on about a boycott, made it sound like economic sanctions … the Hattie’s of this world will soon will find something else to get wound up about … leaflets, it’s hardly the poll tax riots!”

Fed him lovely food:

[Lilian] “Did you like the chorizo, flown in especially from Valencia?”

[Adam] “Today’s been lovely, there’s nothing better than being spoilt by my favourite aunt.”
And gees him up when he starts feeling guilty about not having done more to stop the Super Dairy. She tells him to get up, get out, and look after his pickers. They have a barbeque coming up:

[Lilian] “It sounds like exactly what you need to get your mojo back!”

Brilliant.

I want an aunt like Lilian!


Beware of Matt bearing gifts

First he’s OTT when complimenting Darrell on some of the carpentry he’s done.

Then he asks Darrell to do the skirtings in his office.

Later, in The Bull, Matt buys Darrell a pint.

Then gives him a cash bonus. Which Darrell tries to refuse, but matt insists.

[Matt] “Just remember, where women are concerned, Always useful to keep them sweet … which is why keeping my little mark of appreciation to yourself.”

What’s he up to now?

Will and Nic caught on camera 08.06.12

(doing adult stuff … blimey!)

The Archers Friday 8th June 2012

• Ifty wants artisan, local cheese
• Save Neil’s cricket!
• The tin of tomato soup flirting technique
• B*stards killed a sheep
• Susan and Lynda see A LOT of Nic and Will

Ifty wants artisan, local cheese

So Susan suggests Borchestershire Blue, Helen’s.

I wonder … will Ifty like the make as much as the product?

He’s seemingly so damn handsome, some lucky Ambridge lass must be destined to be his belle.


Save Neil’s cricket!

Susan’s heard that Neil might be dropped from the cricket team, so has a quiet word with Ifty.

If he has any sense, he’ll do exactly as Susan says. She won’t let go …


The tin of tomato soup flirting technique

Courtesy of Tracey Horrobin.

She spots Ifty in the shop, so topples over some soup (!) and loses an earring (!!).

I kid you not …

[Susan] “Only you could get one of my customers scrabbling about on the floor looking for your earring”

[Tracey] “Men just fall at my feet!”

Tracey has also now suddenly developed a need to learn the rules from cricket from Neil.


B*stards killed a sheep

Ben had done walkabout, so Ruth called him on his mobile. He answers, very upset, and starts saying something about a lot of blood.

When Ruth gets to him, it’s a sheep he’s found.

[Ben] “I was thinking, could it have been Lynda’s monster … it must be very fierce.”

Ruth tells him it must have been someone’s dog, and that she can see bite marks on its neck.

[Ben] “What’s going to happen now, will you have to shoot it?  … get Will Grundy in, he’s good at shooting foxes.”

When Ruth later talks to David:

[Ruth] “It wasn’t an animal. That was done by a human being … it looked like a blade of some sort … there were a couple of bite marks I could see, maybe they used a dog to bring it down.”

Just as they’re calling the Police, Pip comes in. And demands to know what’s happening.

[Pip] “So how about being straight with me for a change! … Some guy comes on the farm and cuts the throat of our animals, I think I should know.”

When David tells her that the Police are only going to do a few extra drive rounds during Farm Sunday:

[Pip] “What do they think we’re dealing with, if they can do that to an animal, and a kid see it …”

[David] “You can’t give into it. You can’t give into bullies … All we can do is stand together as a family, and look out for each other.”

Is it just me, or could Brookfield do with telling all and every in Ambridge? More eyes to see, more hands to punch …



Susan and Lynda see A LOT of Nic and Will

Kirsty had dropped off the video from the camera set up in the wood to Lynda. She and Susan started watching it to see if the Ambridge Beast had been caught on film. As they watch it:

[Susan] “Shame, no monsters.”

[Lynda] “Yes, it is disappointing … hang on ... what was that? … could have been a  fox I suppose, but I thought there was something …”

[Susan] “That’s not an animal. It’s Nic. Oh my goodness! That’s Will!”

[Lynda] “In the woods. In the middle of the night, … oh …!!!”

[Susan] “Oh, oh my lord!”

[Lynda] “They’re not …”

[Susan] “I think they are!”

[Lynda] “Yes. I think you’d better stop it now.”

[Susan] “Well, it’s all wildlife I suppose. In a manner of speaking.”

Oh my!

Wonder how far Will and Nic got before Lynda switched the tape off.

Clarrie’s losing sleep because of that cake 01.06.12

The Archers Friday 1st June 2012

• How did Spearmint get bruised?
• Alice has her reasons
• The cake isn’t a team effort
• Imprisoned at Brookfield
• Hercules is a Houdini
• The Ambridge Beast is camera shy

How did Spearmint get bruised?

[Chris] “He might have seen Lynda’s beast and bolted.”

Seems Spearmint, Alice’s horse, has been bruised for a few days, but Alice hadn’t seen it.

Hurt horse, I always think of Clive …


Alice has her reasons

Chris is getting rather fed up with Alice.

As well as having to suffer Amy constantly being round their house, Amy is also all Alice talks about. And he was most unamused that Alice seemed to be hinting Amy should move in with them … she got an outright “no”.

[Chris] “She just needs to get over it. Even if he told her face to face that he had a wife, she still wouldn’t believe it.”

So, Alice decides to turn detective. She’s going to find the proof that Carl is married, so that Amy can move on (shut up and start behaving like an adult again!).

[Alice] “All this stuff about Carl, it’s taken me right back to dad … all those people just torn to pieces. I can’t help mum, but I can help Amy … if I can prove what Carl’s like, maybe she’ll walk away from it all.”

Chris thinks Alice getting so involved will just make matters worse, but Alice is on a mission.


The cake isn’t a team effort

Clarrie’s furious.

As she’s on her way to do the Church flowers, Jennifer calls to say she can’t bring her any sponges.

Clarrie bumps into Ruth. Ruth also won’t be doing any sponges.

[Clarrie] “I’m a busy woman too … I mean, how long does it take to throw a sponge together? And she’s left it til now to tell me.”

It gets worse. Joe tells Clarrie that Jean Harvey also called. She’s going away for the weekend.

[Clarrie] “What, so no sponge!?!”

Joe also tells Clarrie that Sabrina Thwaite called … but only to check if she should use saffron to make the sponge yellow.

[Joe] “Well, I’m sick of it, every time I pick up the phone it’s somebody asking about that darn cake, and every time it’s a thorn in my side …”

[Clarrie] “I wake up nights in a sweat worrying about it … all you can do is whinge on about Bob Pullen cutting it.”

Later on, Joe finds his sympathetic side, and actually offers to lay the table for Clarrie! She apologises to him for snapping.

[Joe] “Well it only comes round once every 60 years.”

Clarrie’s beyond stressed about the cake as she sees it as the centre piece of the Jubilee celebrations. If it isn’t perfect, she’ll have failed in front of the whole village. And as for Joe complaining about Bob Pullen being chosen to cut the cake because he’s older:

[Clarrie] “Well Joe, it was only an accident of birth … you be generous, eh. You let him have his moment in the sun.”

Imprisoned at Brookfield

David’s memorising the licence plate of every car that comes near Brookfield.

Josh is moody. He knows something isn’t right.

And both David and Ruth are keeping their kids on short leads.

[David] “Short of tagging them, what can we do?”

[Ruth] “They’re not prisoners; they should be free to enjoy themselves.”

But what’s the alternative?


Hercules is a Houdini

[Clarrie] “You hang onto him Joe. I don’t want no ferrets on me ironing.”

The Ambridge Beast is camera shy

[Joe] “Edward says that beardy from the Wildlife Trust … him and young Kirsty set up cameras in the woods to try and spot it … it comes on automatic when something comes by … I still reckon it’ll be a hog.”

[Clarrie] “Well it won’t be a panther.”

The sausage game 28.05.12

The Archers Monday 28th May 2012

• Pip’ll be serving burgers at the Beacon
• Darrington won
• Usha shouts at Amy
• Tony’s made sandwiches
• Ruth has a panic button
• Tony’s hired an aging rocker called Trevor
• What’s wrong with a Vintage Sunbeam?
• The sausage game

Pip’ll be serving burgers at the Beacon

Well, that’s one way to celebrate the Jubilee, I suppose. Though, as Pip points out, she does get paid for being at something she would have gone to anyway.


Darrington won
Seems Ambridge got a “respectable” 180, but they were “chasing” 214.

From the way David told it, I assume that’s particularly bad?


Usha shouts at Amy

It’s about time!

Amy wanted to put something into the wash. Usha already had something in, but offered to out Amy’s on after. Amy says no, and wants to tale her clothes back.

[Usha] “Oh Amy, that’s ridiculous”

[Amy] “I don’t need you to do my washing, okay!”

[Usha, losing patience] “Right how long are you going to keep this up?”

Usha tells Amy that she’s the one tearing Alan apart. He builds the bridge, she smashes them down. Usha was especially angry about the effort Alan went to the other night when he cooked Amy’s favourite curry (a recipe of Mabel’s). Amy claims she did have some:

[Usha] “Yeah, skulking round the kitchen when we were gone, like a teenager”

[Amy] “He didn’t say you’d be there …”

[Usha] “I’M HIS WIFE, WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE? I LIVE HERE. He went to so much trouble ... poor Alan”

[Amy] “You've always had your own agenda, all that I'm your stepmother stuff, it was always a sham”

[Usha] “You don’t really believe that”

[Amy] “Don't I?”

Och Amy – go boil yer heid!


Tony’s made sandwiches

[Tom] “Oh, blimey!”

Tony making lunch is not a common occurrence.

And we find out why – he’s made a beef and avocado, plus brie and mushroom.

Odd. Tom chooses the brie and mushroom, but then wants to put ketchup on it.

Ach, pick the mushroom out ya fussy lad!


Ruth has a panic button

And now even locks the door behind her.

Pondering how they will run Open Farm Sunday while being on such high alert. Their only answer is to keep everything locked, and make the tour shorter.

Cancel it would be safer, surely?


Tony’s hired an aging rocker called Trevor

Tony’s on fire today!

First the sandwiches, now he’s actually hired in someone to help with the milking.

It’s a bloke called Trevor. Who is in a band. But is “no spring chicken” (according to Pat, who hasn’t met him yet).

Trevor will work 5 days a week, 1 weekend a month, covering the afternoon milking. Trevor used to have his own herd and though he doesn’t miss the morning milking, he’s looking forward to working again (him and his wife also need the cash).

[Tom] “An old rocker, keeping his hand in eh. I bet he's got a ponytail!”

Tony’s seemingly most pleased with himself.


What’s wrong with a Vintage Sunbeam?

Trevor owns one, which made Tom groan.

Worried about Trevor and Tony spending hours just gazing at it?


The sausage game

[Ben] “Mum, dad can we play sausages?”

They said yes. Here it is:

[Ben] “Mum, what did you brush your teeth with today?”

[Ruth] “Sausages”

[Ben] “Pip, what does Spencer wear on his feet?”

[Pip] “Sausages”

[Ben] “Dad, what do you cut your hair with?”

[David, laughing] “Sausages”

Aha – David lost! You’re not supposed to laugh.

His forfeit (set by Ben) was to get under the table - then bark like a dog.

Though Ruth had the last word:

[Ruth] “What's Tom's only topic of conversation?”

All together now … Sausages!

David shot Walter Gabriel’s wheelbarrow 25.05.12

The Archers Friday 25th May 2012

• Alice invites Amy to the DJ night
• Brookfield’s gates were open
• Alan’s on Usha’s side?

Alice invites Amy to the DJ night

Though we didn’t hear Chris tonight, he’d planned that night out to get away from Amy. He will not be a happy chappy …

But Alice is a pal. And she wants to cheer Amy up by getting dolled up and going out.

[Alice] “Nails, the works, like two hormonal teenagers”

[Amy] “Alright. Just don’t expect me to sparkle”

Brookfield’s gates were open

On one of their fields. Alan found it, and had to coax the cows back in.

Alan tells her as she’s picking up bits of glass from the broken security lights, but she doesn’t tell him what’s happened. When Alan leaves, and David comes over, he tells her he has called the Police, and they’re on their way over. The Police are taking it seriously – they even want to test the newspaper.

[David] “Sorry. You were right”

He and Ruth agree not to tell the kids.

After the Police have been, they do mention that a farmer in Penny Hassett has had a wheel shout at, which they reckon were indeed kids. But, they do think there’s a connection between the on goings at Brookfield and the gang that attacked Adam.

Ruth wants security cameras. David concurs. But he doesn’t want Ruth to get too overwrought.

[David] “Honestly, you don’t need to start inventing things to worry about … They'll find some spotty kid … I popped a pellet into Walter Gabriel's wheelbarrow with my first air rifle, he wasn’t happy, and neither was I when he told dad. We both need to get things in perspective love ... we can’t live our lives hiding in shadows.”

But then the phone rings. Ruth goes to answer it:

[unidentified bloke] “You;re going to have to take more care. Your security lights. Not secure anymore, are they. it’s getting darker, isn’t it …”

Alan’s on Usha’s side?

He certainly seems to be starting to see that Amy isn’t exactly being rational.

[Alan] “Difficult, it’s impossible. I feel like a UN Peacekeeper … I’m so worried, Ruth. What is there's no happy ending and the relationship never heals”

[Ruth] “Oh it'll come right Alan. I’m sure it will”

When Alan later takes Amy up Lakey Hill:

[Amy] “It's just to breathe air that isn’t hospital”

Alan tries to persuade Amy to forgive Usha.

[Amy] “You can't change what's happened”

[Alan] “You can change what's going to happen, though”

[Amy] “I'm locking Carl away, in a box, with all the other horrible things”

[Alan] “He broke your heart, don’t let him break anything else”

But Amy won’t stay and talk. She storms off, again.

Is it just me – or is Amy taking this too far? Carl was a bad ‘un, and hurt her, but they really hadn’t been going out for that long. And it’s certainly beyond the call still punishing Usha over it.

Amy later says to Alice:

[Amy] “She didn’t feel like a stepmum anymore, she was a mum to me Alice. How could she have kept quiet ... she could have saved me ... how can I trust her now?”

This is starting to sound like a petulant child, whining …

Alan’s back to being Usha’s husband 27.05.12

(not just exclusively Amy’s dad)

The Archers Sunday 27th June 2012

• Brookfield to be filmed
• Alan gives Usha a lovely Sunday in bed
• Brookfield’s sheep are being weighed
• Ben’s forced to watch the cricket

Brookfield to be filmed

[Ruth] “So, we've finally joined the surveillance society”

David and Ruth are choosing security cameras online. They also decide to tell Pip what’s going on, as she’s the most vulnerable one (being out and about the most by herself).

Worryingly, David’s taken to sleeping with a shotgun next to the bed. Ruth nearly hit it instead of the alarm clock …

[Ruth] “We’re sitting targets”

[David] “Well, they may be scum, but they can't be completely stupid. They won’t want to be caught on camera”

[Ruth] “Everything's changing, isn’t it?”

Would seem so. The days of being able to leave their doors unlocked are (at least temporarily) gone.

[David] “Ruth, I am not going to let these thugs get in my head … Think about it, why are they doing this, how do they want us to feel, rattled and insecure ... they are not taking over our lives ...”

[Ruth] “I must say Farm Sunday is the last thing I feel like doing right now”

Sounds like the bad men are winning …


Alan gives Usha a lovely Sunday in bed

(yes – nearly in ‘that’ way. What’s going on with the older-than-young-but-not-quite-old Ambridge married couples? Why all of the randyness?)

He comes home after early communion (where he only had half a dozen people attend, but seemed happy enough with that), to find Usha still in bed. She stayed there after she’d heard Amy up and about. Usha wanted to wait until Amy went back to her room.

[Alan] “You shouldn't have to hide away”

[Usha] “I'm not. I'm just avoiding unnecessary confrontation”

[Alan] “God has committed us to the work of reconciliation”

[Usha] “Well water wears a stone down eventually”

Usha has the measure of Amy. She thinks Amy is running rings round her and Alan.

[Usha] “We need to get on with our lives, you and I”

So they do. Seems Usha is 50 next month, and Alan wants them to celebrate properly.

A meal at Grey Gables? A party outside? Aha – hiring The Bull upstairs.

But they can’t do it on the 17th (Usha’s actual birthday) as it’s also Open Farm Sunday – which David and Ruth will be running at Brookfield.

(wonder why they didn’t ask Brian to do it this year)

Either which way, Usha is ever so happy that Alan’s being nice/normal to her again.

[Usha] “You have cheered up my morning, darling”

[Alan] “So, do you want her there?”

[Usha] “Yes, yes I do, though whether she'll want to be there is another matter”

*sigh*

Amy will manage to ruin Usha’s birthday, one way or another.

When Alan mentions their plans for Usha’s birthday, Amy says she expects to be working. When Alan tries to reason with her:

[Amy] “Don't you get it dad, I don’t want anything to do with her!”

Usha overheard. But I don’t suppose she’ll be surprised, or shocked, to hear Amy talk that way anymore.


Brookfield’s sheep are being weighed

Must be slaughter time for some of them.


Ben’s forced to watch the cricket

Wee toot.

Ruth and David make him go and watch the Darrington game – where everything knows Ambridge will be gubbed.

They only wanted him safely somewhere else, as they’d be too busy working to keep an eye on him. So no need for such punishment!