10th May 2010

• On Yersel Fallon!
• Missed her during the cabbages
• A day pregnant with anticipation

On Yersel Fallon!

At only the second time of meeting, you’ve managed to get Harry’s feet under your kitchen table.

Harry was

“Looking forward to seeing you padded up”

So maybe Jazzer was right to be worried?


Missed her during the cabbages

Oh for goodness sake Tom!

It’s bad enough saying that out loud, but to even think it in the first place doesn’t bode well for you and Brenda.

Quite simply, not everyone’s world revolves you, your family and your farm.


A day pregnant with anticipation

Just exactly what is going on at Helen’s NHS?

In a matter of months, she’s seen consultants, had her counselling and tests, and is off tomorrow to be impregnated.

From what I’ve experienced with friends, it can take years to even get to this stage – especially with a lack of sperm due to the fact that the child has a right to know who their biological father is when they turn 18.

Maybe there’s too much sperm in Ambridge?

“Nine months from tomorrow I shall very likely be a mum”

A shiver ran up my spine when Helen uttered that.

9th May 2010

• Can’t Tom do the cooking?
• Give it a wallop
• Your Sticky Wicket needs you
• We just don’t like Jude

Can’t Tom do the cooking?

Did I hear Brenda just say she’d done all of the cooking for the week?

I know Tom has expressed rather dated attitudes towards what he expects of a wife, but surely Brenda needs to make sure that they both share the domestic burden that her new job has created?

Not so much the modern woman after all.


Give it a wallop

And that makes for great video footage.

Jill does seem to be a natural, though. Following on from her stellar performance at Lower Loxley’s Christmas, she seems to have taken to the small screen with gusto.

Maybe she is the new Delia/Nigella/Fanny after all.


Your Sticky Wicket needs you!

It’ll be an on-going theme until the Sticky Wicket actually takes place, but, yet another year – and no-one is signing up for the sticky wicket. Again.


We just don’t like Jude

I think all of us are behind you on that one, Ruth.

“Mindless and irresponsible”

Spot on. While I don’t think he’s doing any of it on purpose, Jude is indeed deficient in all the important areas that would make him even a half decent person. No character at all.

7th May 2010

• Would it be so terrible for a teenager to stay in on a Friday?
• Out of the moos of cows
• When you think of the Athenians …
• Does Lilian want a fresh new start?
• Pip loves Jude

Would it be so terrible for a teenager to stay in on a Friday?

Come on David.

Even though most of us would rather boil our heads than spend five minutes with Jude … you can’t honestly expect a teenager to want to stay in with their folks on a Friday night.


Out of the moos of cows

… come reconciliation between David and Pip/Jude?

Mais non mon matey – David made it clear that Jude was a great help, but only because there wasn’t anyone else.

Anyway – how did that fence get broken? Could Jude have had something to do with it?


When you think of the Athenians …

Of which, Jim, I am often found to do.

Nice to hear Ambridge had an opinion about anything to do with the election.

“some returning officers may be not returning”

*snort*

“The only obstacle in Ambridge was Joe touting for his auction”

Superb. Sounds just like where I voted, which involved a 20 minute walk over stone bridges, fields and though our neighbouring village (which is a city compared to our humble hamlet). I won’t stress too much about my greyhounds accompanying me, while I was wearing my flat cap, but you get the picture …


Does Lilian want a fresh new start?

It didn’t really sound very convincing to me. Even Matt has picked up her unhappy vibes – even though he hasn’t really understood them.

Despite knowing that he can’t assume Lilian will be there to collect him from prison, he still manages to push on with ‘the business’.

Watch yourself Mr Crawford. I’m still on your side over Paul, but that sort of insensitivity will get you nowhere!


Pip loves Jude

I think we all felt David’s pain when Pip told him she loved Jude.

Silly, silly, silly lassie.

Still – she has a point that David is making her choose between Jude and the farm/her family.

If he backed off, she might just have the energy to spot what an utter pleb Jude actually is.

One can only hope.

6th May 2010

• On your knees mister – I want to see you grovel
• When Fallon met Harry
• So did Joe vote?
• The ‘must have’ addition to any household
• A new strategy for the Single Wicket must be found!

On your knees mister – I want to see you grovel

Oh that could have led to a whole new storyline between Fallon and Kenton.


When Fallon met Harry

How fast did she want Kenton to disappear when she saw Harry?

And again a mention of his surname – Henry Mason – looks like he won’t be disappearing anytime soon … more’s the pity for Jazzer.


So did Joe vote?

We must be told!

That hung parliament could have been tipped away by Mr Grundy Senior


The ‘must have’ addition to any household

Is seemingly an old mangle.

Humpf.


A new strategy for the Single Wicket must be found!

Here it comes again – I still have to check what it is – and numbers signing up are low.

Again.

5th May 2010

• Pip a Kate-in-waiting?
• Jill just had a loose wire
• Ian would love to get hold of some cherries for the kitchen
• If Paul has Jennifer and Brian on side …
• Watch out Paul … she’s moving up from ham to steak!

Pip a Kate-in-waiting?

Or will she indeed

“come out it a sensible young woman”

Jill just had a loose wire

Jill was wishing Lilian had given her some more warning when she turned up with Paul, but she doesn’t know the half of it!

Well as Jill was hoping “he knows what he’s doing”, only Lilian knows the real truth ...


Ian would love to get hold of some cherries for the kitchen

*snort*


If Paul has Jennifer and Brian on side …

“If she could just get over this blind loyalty”

“Kind and decent”

How delighted was Brian when Jennifer was saying that Paul was nice, and that Lilian should get someone better than Matt anyway!

Methinks Paul is on a ‘divide and conquer’ kick


Watch out Paul … she’s moving up from ham to steak!

“Come back afterward – I need to thank you … somehow”

Yikes. When a woman offers you steak, after previously offered you a nice slice of ham, you know you’re doing something right.

4th May 2010

• Jude is getting ‘inspired’
• Sabrina can’t count?
• Ambridge Heritage Group

Jude is getting ‘inspired’

While he may not be as callous as Leon (as far as we know), Jude’s behaviour is starting to really grate. The fact that Pip is falling for it just makes it all the more irritating.

He cares what “the guys” think.

But he couldn’t care less about Lower Loxley’s website – even though he’s studying website design. Though, does his lack of interest in work related to his studies suggest that he has some sort of trust fund? That might also explain where the car came from.

He reckons Pip is boring for studying, and isn’t quite supportive of the fact that she probably needs to study at his due to the atmosphere at home

And now he’s into film making. Of the gothic variety. I thought the Goth phase was more early teens (and isn’t it now Emo?).

Anyway – he’s so ‘inspired’ that he’s cornered Pip into staying overnight at his place.

“Who would you rather keep happy?”

Emotional blackmail of the lowest form, especially on an inexperienced lass like Pip.

David will be reaching for his shotgun any second now …



Sabrina can’t count???

Or is it just her reputation for being a bit flighty?

Very very glad that the Village Shop has worked out for Susan. It’s been lovely to have peace from her for the last wee while. I only hope it doesn’t start up again when the reality of the new Village Shop kicks in.


Ambridge Heritage Group

You cheeky monkey Joe!

“in aid of one of the oldest families in Ambridge”

was your biggest mistake. That’s way too obvious, and founding anything with ‘Group’ or ‘Committee’ was bound to get the attention of all those civic minded folks.

I wonder what rumour Oliver has in mind?

3rd May 2010

• Probably turn out more like Fanny Cradock
• Great Grundy Merchandise!
• What’s the big deal about Kirsty?

Probably turn out more like Fanny Cradock

Could indeed – but what was Jill thinking that she might be more of a Nigella?

Deila – for sure – Fanny – most likely.

But I really can’t see Nigella’s vampish charm taking a Jill Archer form.

Still, she can but try!


Great Grundy Merchandise!

Oh aye – I thought Joe had been a bit quiet lately.

And there he is. With a pile full of (what probably is just) tat. And a scheme to make money.

Oh dear.


What’s the big deal about Kirsty?

Am I missing a subtle undertone, but what’s the big deal about Kenton being so desperate for Kirsty to work for him?

Does he want more than just a hand behind the bar?

Or is this more about Kirsty letting Sid/Jolene/Fallon and/or Helen down?

Or, something else to do with the whole bizarre Helen/Patrick/Kirsty/Tony circle?

2nd May 2010

• The election comes to Ambridge
• Who needs a man when you’ve got your mum
• Pip should be strapped somewhere …
• Paul starts work on the family

The election comes to Ambridge

In the form of an election flyer on the doormat.

Don’t politicians doorstep anymore?


Who needs a man when you’ve got your mum

Well, at least Helen can be 100% sure that Pat won’t run for the hills.

Can’t she …?


Pip should be strapped somewhere …

Not because she’s seeing Jude or (according to Ruth) not getting her College work done.

But because she’s utterly unbearable at the moment.

Amazing that she hasn’t realised that she can move out. Or, even more amazing, that David and Ruth haven’t worked that one out either.


Paul starts work on the family

He’s a crafty one indeed.

Who do we think the family will choose to back?

A seemingly nice chap, with a solid business, and who is happy to help out Lilian’s dear old mum.

Or a demonstrably dodgy geezer who has created family feuds, broken Lilian’s heart time and again and would rather make money than be part of the family.

30th April 2010

• I Want To Hold Your Hand
• It might be Matt that sounds the death knell

I Want To Hold Your Hand

Ah well – after all those years “trying to hold onto him”, Jack seems settled with his new lady friend.

At least Peggy has finally spoken to Ted again. If, as Ted said, at least Jack isn’t alone anymore – why should Peggy?

It might be Matt that sounds the death knell

Rather than Paul and Lilian’s efforts – it sounds like Matt is going to end up pushing Lilian away.

Silly boy. While I can understand that he wants to get back into his old life, does he have no clue about what he’s done to Lilian by racing down this path before?

Maybe he doesn’t care that much for her after all …

Anyway - did they or didn't they?

29th April 2010

• Shouldn’t I?
• Only idiots and saddos
• Hot Harry

Shouldn’t I?

Oh-ho!

Did they or didn’t they?!?

Seemingly ‘Mr Morgan’ is quite a mover, but we were left wondering if Lilian find out more about his moves beyond the dance floor.

It did sound like Lilian was trying to convince herself that Matt isn’t quite her ideal man. His money obsession makes him distant and overtly focused – whereas Paul is most certainly giving Lilian all of the attention she craves.

I can completely see why Lilian is so interested in another man, but surely she could have done better than her current partner’s brother. What’s more, Paul has never struck me as a bit slimy.

And I might be getting overtly paranoid about surnames (after Jude's popped up in conversation last week) - but does the mention of Paul's surname mean that this is going to be anything but a brief encounter?


Only idiots and saddos

Aye – cheers Jazzer!


Hot Harry

Yet another nickname to add to Harry’s ever growing list.

Maybe Jazzer is right to be so jealous?

28th April 2010

• Exciting and Buzzy
• Pouncing Patrick
• You know it’s bad when Tony’s certain
• How very dare she!
• Well, at least the fertility clinic knows what to do

Exciting and Buzzy

So glad Brenda has got the job.

Tom’s Sausages is just thinking of himself (as per), so here’s hoping Brenda has more nights out minus the engagement ring.

Honestly, I do try and find something to like about Tom, but he continually stops me from doing so.


Pouncing Patrick

Not sure Patrick is a pouncing type of chap. He’ll also probably be horrified to hear that Helen thinks he’s stalking him.

You’re a strange man Tony. A very, very strange man.


You know it’s bad when Tony’s certain

“You and Brenda are a strong couple. Of that I’m certain”

Hmm. Maybe Tony should check with Pat before he makes such statements.

And has he forgotten the way they fell apart (or Tom’s Sausages ripped them apart) over the whole Matt-Crawford-money-to-save-Tom’s-Sausages-because-Brenda-was-being-blackmailed saga?

Brenda was a fool to go back, but maybe Leicester will wake her up to him.

Or, at the very least, make her so tired that he ceases to even figure.


How very dare she!

I don’t know. That Helen just can’t let Brenda have her moment of glory (albeit Helen didn’t actually know it was a moment of glory).


Well, at least the fertility clinic knows what to do

I am deeply ashamed of myself, but was snorting like a school kid over:

“The fertility clinic has got a slot”

Sorry …

27th April 2010

• Stereotypes about builders
• Kenton tries it on with Kirsty
• Camp Grundy
• Wife Swap anyone?

Stereotypes about builders

Shame on you Kirsty. Of course they can help it!

And don’t builders now have to go on equality training?


Kenton tries it on with Kirsty

He’d better watch his step on that one. Cheesestraw will not be one to cross if she has yet more work to do (and lest we forget that her hormones are probably about to shoot through the dairy roof soon!)

Camp Grundy

Joe has a point about ‘back to basics’.

Folks do pay good money to be in the middle of a field, with no facilities. And they’d pay even more good money to have Joe’s barn within cider-goggles stumbling distance.

Wife Swap anyone?

What a wee shame that was on Peggy.

She’s been nervous about bumping into Ted again (after he invited her to lunch), but Jack gets in their first by refusing to be separated from Ted’s wife.

I know. It’s not funny. But maybe it’s time for Peggy to accept her Jack is no longer there?

26th April 2010

• Vicky doesn’t listen
• Jazzer starts a blog
• Prince ‘the karate kid’ Harry
• Stay away from offices with ‘chill out’ spaces

Vicky doesn’t listen ...

Although, when she’s finished with you, you’ll wonder why you haven’t been doing it for years.

Allegedly.


Jazzer starts a blog

Maybe Jazzer should just stick to his ‘real’ routine and ignore Ed’s really corny writing.


Prince ‘the karate kid’ Harry

How on earth can Harry ‘learn his place’ if Jazzer keeps giving him such exalted nicknames?

Jazzer really needs to wind his neck in before Harry goes all Henry the VIII on him. (see what I did there …snort!)


Stay away from offices with ‘chill out’ spaces

In my opinion.

They are either teetering on the edge of liquidation due to spending on office furnishings.

Or, they expect you to sleep there because you can’t go home until the job is done.

Watch out for the cool stuff, Brenda.

25th April 2010

• Of all the Universities in the world 
• Quite right David

Of all the Universities in the world

Here comes Kate!


Quite right David

Spot on for banning Jude, but you can’t ban him and then expect Pip to hang around the farm.

Choose between gritting your teeth and managing not to punch him every time you see him, or stand back and watch as Pip moves out, bit by bit.

I’d make sure Pip didn’t leave him. She’s still got a lot of growing up to do.

23rd April 2010

• “We’re almost family …”
•  Can you really afford a herd of pet bull calves?

“We’re almost family …

… so no one will get the wrong idea.”

Hmm. Not sure if you do believe that Lilian, or if you’re trying to make yourself believe it.

Looks to me like Paul’s going to get you right where he wants you.

The shame, the shame …


Can you really afford a herd of pet bull calves?

Vicky.

Listen.

To.

Ed.

22nd April 2010

• Nearly back, Matt
• “Never judge a book by the words”
• Feel a bit sorry for Jim?

Nearly back, Matt

Hurrah to hearing Matt’s dulcet tones again ...

... even though he’s saying all the wrong things!

I can only imagine that you would get over focused on ‘what’s next’ for you when you’re getting ready to leave prison, but saying to your partner

“You are absolutely essential”

when you’re only talking about business is surely an amateur mistake?

As Jennifer said

“I can’t remember last time he really made her happy”

So, with Paul circling, Matt needs to stop being self-obsessed and think about his lovely Pussycat.

But then again, Paul does need to realise that Matt’s not going to take any of his shenanigans quietly. As Brian said:

“Lovely cuddly Paul better watch his step”

“Never judge a book by the words”

Eh? What’s going on in that heid of yours Mr Jazzer?

“One mair olive and I’ll turn into Russell Crowe”

Um. Lost me there again Jazzer.

Maybe it’s a sign of his desperation that he went to the effort to dress as a gladiator to crash Jim’s party (hardly a stomping rave),

but Jazzer seems to be slowly driven mad by hearing about how wonderful Harry is wherever he turns.

Surely this all has to lead to Harry becoming Fallon’s new beau???


Feel a bit sorry for Jim?

Well, not really.

Although Jim blames Jazzer and his ‘daughter-in-law’ for ruining his party, it was never really going to be the soiree he imagined.

A week night fancy dress. With strict instructions. And poetry to break the ice.

We didn’t see that one coming …

21st April 2010

• Tony tries to pimp his daughter
• Me, David, Dad

Tony tries to pimp his daughter

Not very subtle there, Tony.

Sounds like Helen has sussed your cunning plan, and Patrick isn’t exactly in the right place to be considering wooing her.

“If I so even look at a women, take me outside and shoot me”

One can only hope a friend will put Patrick out of his misery early if he does start making eyes at Helen …


Me, David, Dad

Pip’s having to take a charm offensive after Jude’s childish behaviour, although it does seem that she’s genuine about being ashamed about the accident.

“Abusing our hospitality by risking your life”

Better stay away Jude. David’s armed and is a very annoyed dad.

20th April 2010

• Jude go broom broom
• If anyone will know, it’s Brian

Jude go broom broom

Seriously, Jude must be lying about his age.

That’s no way for a 28 year old man to behave, unless he has very special needs (which hasn’t been suggested so far).

Childish tactics to have a go on the quad bike (indeed, the very fact that he was so desperate to get on it shows his immaturity) – the speed he was going – “don’t be a wuss” etc etc etc

Sounds like Pip is fine, but I wouldn’t hold out any hopes for Jude getting a clean bill of health if he does show up on Brookfield again.

While David’s tactics over the whole Jude/Pip relationship have been rather antiquated, and unsuccessful, it’s easy to forget that he’s simply being a dad.

And, as we all know, dads don’t take any prisoners when it comes to their child being hurt by someone else’s stupidity.

"Mr Archer"

Too little, too late Jude.


If anyone will know, it’s Brian

Jennifer doesn’t seemed to have twigged as yet, but Brian’s spotted the potential for an affair to happen/be happening between Lilian and Paul.

This has to be the worst attempt at an affair, if that is what Lilian is up to. She’s already been spotted out and about with her suitor, and is now blatantly floating on cloud 9 about after she’s met with him.

Matt simply isn’t going to be a happy chappy.

19th April 2010

• Ah – that makes it okay then Tony
• Classic Lilian
• Seduction through ham?

Ah – that makes it okay then Tony

So Kirsty and Patrick are just mates.

That’s led to Tony engineering Patrick to meet with Helen.

I can see his point. Patrick does seem to have the same interests as Helen.

But what will he say when he realises that he’s being set up to be a ‘real life’ sperm donor rather than an anonymous one?

Or, does Tony think a man will make Helen completely forget about having a baby?!?

Goodness me, what a palaver.

All could be solved if they just went out and got Helen a nice dog to love. Loyal, good company and ultimately unable to do anything other than depend on her. Unless she left the door open by mistake …



Classic Lilian

“ no braids, buns, wire supports, gum Arabic or blonde wigs made from the stolen tresses of Germanic slave girls”

You’re great Lilian. Yes you are.


Seduction through ham?

Well, I suppose it might work for some folks.

Although, it seemed to me that Lilian has managed to pull herself back from the brink of an affair.

Talking about one’s partner, and how happy you’ll be to have him home, doesn’t lead to romps with another.

I hope Lilian won’t get more involved with Paul than she already is. He doesn’t seem to be a particularly nice chap,. And there’s going to be hell to pay anyway when Matt finds out Lilian’s even just been having coffee with Paul.

18th April 2010

• Hurrah to the milkman’s blog
• Josh not Pip?
• Grandpa Simpson?
• Poetry as an icebreaker

Hurrah to the milkman’s blog

I think Harry does have a point about creating a blog for the milk round. But, then again, I’m obviously someone who likes blogs!

Ed does have a point that they may need to keep on at the basic sales to at least avoid overproduction, but there’d be no harm in starting to build those relationships through the blog.

Josh not Pip?

Now there’s a thought – are they setting up Josh to be the next head of Brookfield rather than Pip?

Though Josh does need to realise that when it comes to having girlfriend’s, his sister isn’t exactly showing a good example at the moment.

It’s not about getting serious – it’s making sure that the person you’re going out with isn’t a right plonker.

Easier said than done, though.


Grandpa Simpson?

Is Simpson Jude’s surname then?

If so – is this a signal that he might be around for longer than we’d normally expect?

Always watch out for a newcomer with a surname. They tend to have a longer lifespan.

Damn!


Poetry as an icebreaker

You have to admire Jim’s enthusiasm, but he is getting a bit overtly excited.

I wonder if he does ever notice that not everyone else has the same interests?

Couldn’t he just whip out a Twister?

And what’s this about sketches for the women’s hair? Is Jim a complete amateur when it comes to women??? Surely, by his age, he must’ve learnt that you never say anything about a woman’s hair other than to admire it. Never tell them how to wear it, just as you’d never tell them that indeed, their bum does look big in that.

“The more effort you put in the more fun we’ll get out of it”

Hmmm. I’m just wondering who exactly will be the minotaur.

16th April 2010

• Alice and Chris – the new David and Ruth?!?
• Whatever happened to the age of elegance?
• Dreary me, Jim
• Pip will realise in time

Alice and Chris – the new David and Ruth?!?

Is it just me, or is the Alice and Chris storyline going nowhere fast?

Apart from the cheeky wee stunt Alice pulled to get the cottage, there doesn’t seem to be much more to Alice and Chris than having breakfast and avoiding their respective parents.

Or, am I missing some under currents?


Whatever happened to the age of elegance?

Indeed Brian. Indeed.

Though I wouldn’t have gone as far to say that women drinking pints is unnatural. It’s more what the many pints does to women, and town centres of a weekend night, that’s the problem. And I’d also add that pints also make many men far from elegant.


Dreary me, Jim

I was worried about Jim’s party being a bit too much. All those rules and planning, not enough ‘just turn up and have fun’

But I needn’t have been concerned. His invites are seemingly half academic lecture, half fashion notes.

That’s alright then.


Pip will realise in time

I agree with Ruth that it was lovely to hear Pip talk without moaning, screeching or saying ‘whatever’. Grand.

But she’s still eagerly anticipating Jude’s return.

Ah well. She’ll learn.

15th April 2010

• Focus Eddie. Focus.
• 5 out of 9 cows prefer bulls

Focus Eddie. Focus.

Looks like they might be setting Eddie up for another lost job, and an accordingly angry Clarrie.

He got away with it this time, but the more black marks he has against him, the less likely it is that they’ll see him as important enough to take along when they move.

Mind you, it is summer, so maybe there’ll be plenty of new patios to keep the coppers a’comin.


5 out of 9 cows prefer bulls

As Vicky’s ‘stock’ of bull calves ever increases, Ed’s temper rises and Mike’s pandering gets of even more embarrassing proportions.

Fair play that she’s trying to find a solution between her need to save her ‘babies’ and the need to not have a massive herd of useless farm animals.

But if there ain’t a market, she’s just going to make it worse.

Stand back for the day Ed properly explodes.

14th April 2010

• Really? I never knew that about seat belts
• Ambridge men not quite up to carrying off gladiatorial splendour
• “The Surfing is wicked.” You complete and utter a**e!

Really? I never knew that about seat belts

Never let it be said that The Archers doesn’t continue its fine tradition of spreading information and knowledge.

Is Jim right? Is it true that car can be too old to have seat belts and still be let on the roads?!?

Not sure that Jim also bought Pip’s story. She was blatantly bullshitting, desperately grabbing for a sense of reason. She might think she had the old man fooled, but there’s no fool like a whiny teenage one.



Ambridge men not quite up to carrying off gladiatorial splendour

Quite agree with you there Jim (one imagines!).

Though a party with instructions doesn’t sound like a fun prospect.

Just like those ‘murder dinners’, it all becomes a bit much trying to get yourself organised, then ‘playing the part’, when all you really need is a few bottles of wine and some music.


“The Surfing is wicked.” You complete and utter a**e!

Yup – we’ve seen it coming, but there’s the proof that Jude is an immature wanker.

While I admit to not being entirely up-to-date with street chatter, I really don’t think a 28 year old should be calling anything ‘wicked’, not getting pouty because he couldn’t go on the zip slide.

And, of course, he’s an ignorant son-of-a-lady-dog for the whole “you can pay me back” malarkey.

That’s nothing about being old fashioned, and expecting the bloke to pay. It’s an incredibly rude and inconsiderate way to treat anyone, let alone your girlfriend.

So, I guess we’re in for many months of Pip being treated like crap but not doing anything about it, then months of being inconsolable when David is proven right.

Oh, there’s a thought. How intolerable are David and Ruth going to be when Pip wakes up to herself. *sigh*

13th April 2010

• When Harry met Sandy
• And then Jazzer gets bumped!
• What’s so racy about a senior citizens lunch?
• Pip is a right pain in the ...

When Harry met Sandy

Well trying to send Harry into a situation where he was attacked by a wee dog, and then its owner, completely backfired on Jazzer.

Not only is Harry now that customer’s favourite milkman, but he’s proved to Jazzer again that he’s a top bloke, adored by women and dogs alike.

Jazzer needs to wind his neck in before he sets himself up for a massive fall.

This is all also suggestive that it’ll be Fallon to fall for Harry’s charms. Oh dear.


And then Jazzer gets bumped!

Jazzer must be losing his touch.

Just imagine – a woman so immune to his charms that she gives him a dud number and information about herself.

Ouch! Not good times in Jazzer world.

Maybe he needs to crack out a song to woo the ladies back in his direction.


What’s so racy about a senior citizens lunch?

Was it just me, or was that a massive overreaction from Peggy?

What’s so wrong with her and Ted having a spot of lunch together? Nothing as far as I can tell.

Or, is Peggy feeling an attraction to Ted that she feels she shouldn’t?

Or is it simply a case of her still not wanting to enjoy herself while Jack’s quality of life can’t ever be the same as hers?

Self denial where there’s no need.


Pip is a right pain in the ...

Enough said.

12th April 2010

• Classic Jazzer lines
• Will it be Fallon or Helen?
• Hold on a minute Tony – isn’t that Kirsty’s bloke?

Classic Jazzer lines

While Jazzer may not be impressed with Harry’s eager attitude (especially at 4am in the morning), Harry is certainly giving Jazzer some great classic quips

“one thing I’m good at is keeping the customers satisfied”

“the only twitter she gets is when her cat jumps onto her bird table”

“GBH of the lughole”

Will it be Fallon or Helen?

Jazzer obviously seems to think Harry could be a rival for Fallon’s attention.

Although she already seems impressed by Harry’s biking activities, and all Jazzer seemed to be doing was making her feel sorry for his plans to ‘teach’ Harry a lesson.

Harry certainly seems happy enough to counteract Helen’s morose mood swings.



Hold on a minute Tony – isn’t that Kirsty’s bloke?

You know somethings gone a bit awray with your life when your dad starts trying to steal men off of your friend for you.

Although Tony could be right. Helen seemed to show interested in Patrick previously (see here)

AND lest we forget that it could be said that leon was Kirsty’s fault (see here)

Still – what about the veg man or Gavin from North Wales?

11th April 2010

• You can jolly well go to the shop and buy your own
• This too shall pass

You can jolly well go to the shop and buy your own

Quite right Jennifer!

Alice has been a cheeky wee madam, but understandably so.

Young love definitely needs space.


“This too shall pass”

Which is true enough, but how long are we going to have to listen to the increasingly awful and whiny Pip arguing with an increasingly Victorian dad David?

9th April 2010

• Whoops a Lilian
• Pizza in their DNA
• Alice has a cunning plan

Whoops a Lilian

That was a short lived secret.

Just as Lilian and Paul seem to be settling down to start an affair, Jennifer stumbles over them.

Just as well, considering Paul might be starting to work on a project locally. With Jennifer keeping an eye on them, it’s unlikely they’ll be able to get up to much without being caught.

As Jennifer said, Lilian is:

“Playing a very very risky game”

Pizza in their DNA

That might explain why the whole David/Ruth side of the Archers is a bit dull …


Alice has a cunning plan

But she hasn’t mentioned a turnip as yet

8th April 2010

• When does innovative stop being innovative and just plain weird?
• Mucho bottles of wine
• Constantly moaning about all things Jude makes David a dull boy

When does innovative stop being innovative and just plain weird?

Not sure Brenda – but coming up with promotional ideas beyond just a bunch of flyers would be a start.

Bless your cotton socks for trying though. And nice to see Tom’s Sausages being thoughtful and supportive for once.

But, if Brenda does get the job, how long do we think their engagement will last? With the bright lights of Leicester lure Brenda away?


Mucho bottles of wine

Party round at Lower Loxley this weekend then!


Constantly moaning about all things Jude makes David a dull boy

Now it’s Jude’s parents ...

You haven’t even met them yet David, and yet you already only have negative things to say about them.

You’re being boring, Mr David Archer.

7th April 2010

• Vicky needs Gok Wan ... and has something different to offer to Ian
• Veal pie? 
• All because the lady loves leeks

Vicky needs Gok Wan ... and has something different to offer to Ian

You can say all you like about Vicky, but when she wants something, she’s like a terrier after a rat.

Ed’s onto a hiding to no-where if he thinks Mike will do anything other than meekly comply to Vicky’s demands.

And what a temper Mike has when someone dares to challenge his wife!


Veal pie?

Hmmm. Not sure it’d ever be sold at Greggs, but am sure there foodies out there who would relish it.

Watch this space for the dairy round being slowly overtaken by Vicky and her Veal .


All because the lady loves leeks

Fair do to Jazzer for keeping up the effort.

Though, leeks, rapeseed oil and dodgy yoghurt doesn’t sound like the most romantic way to show a lady he cares.

6th April 2010

• Brian and Lady Gaga
• Paul better work quick
• In for another Jennifer Vs Lilian barny

Brian and Lady Gaga

I can just see him jiggling and humming away to ‘Bad Romance’


Paul better work quick

If he wants to bed the lady before Matt returns.

I only hope Matt is in time. Still can’t see anything to like in Paul. Sneaky blighter!


In for another Jennifer Vs Lilian barny

Lilian – just you wait . Jennifer will work it out, and be horrified, hurt and furious.

You’ve been warned. Jennifer’s a Puma to your Pussycat when she gets one on!