The Archers Sunday 24th April 2011: We all get to go to Monte Carlo!

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• And that’s just Jolene’s travel outfit!
• Will will make George sick?
• “Hard-core bee freaks”
• “Egg crazy kids”
• Nooooo – not the shower!!!
• Ruth’s kind to Joe
• David feels guilty
• The shower hasn’t gone away …
• “Here we go”

And that’s just Jolene’s travel outfit!

[Fallon] “Ooh la la!”

[Kenton] “Knock out … you look great. Perfect.”

And they’re off! But not before Jolene checks and rechecks everything with Fallon.

[Fallon] “Just let it go mum, we’ll be fine, don’t worry”

Will will make George sick?

Things are really coming to a head between Will and Emma.

She’s now accusing his Easter egg of potentially having the ability to make George sick.

Child. Easter Egg. Potential of being sick.

Fairly atypical, I’d have thought?

Anyway, Will is now angry with Emma, but he is a good(ish) dad to George.

He’s doing exactly what Clarrie reckoned Ed should be doing with George – spending more time with him one-on-one; doing things that the big kids can’t do, making him feel wanted and special.

He was close to flaming George’s hatred/rivalry of Keira by saying that she was too naff to be able to hunt for Easter eggs at The Bull (I do paraphrase!) – but he was also encouraging George to collect more than Jake or Mia.

So all healthy sibling competition. I suppose.



“Hard-core bee freaks”

I do adore it when Jill starts on about her bees. Even better when she’s getting ready for a new season. And wonderful that Josh is still interested.

They seemingly went to a bee conference type thing together, where Josh persuaded Jill to buy a new hive.

Though it has to be remembered that while Josh may be a nice young chap, spending time with his grandmum doing bee stuff, he is just about to hit the ‘Jamie’ phase:

[Josh] “Some of those hard-core bee freaks though … talk about weird! I mean, in a good way gran. And not you …”

“Egg crazy kids”

Blimey! George found 14 Easter eggs. 14! Makes you wonder if he managed to get the lion’s share, or if The Bull had spent all of its last few months profit on eggs.

[Fallon] “Egg crazy kids. One of them is bound to OD on chocolate”

(see – I said it must be fairly atypical)



Nooooo – not the shower!!!

Jolene and Kenton arrive in their Monte Carlo hotel, with Jolene very suitably impressed by the size of the bed and that they have a balcony, with a sea view.

Sounds lovely.

But I did break out in a cold sweat at the following exchange:

[Jolene] “A nice big shower an all …”

[Kenton] “Oh yeah. That’s good to know”

(ye gods! Jolene then decides to have a shower straight away, so she can freshen up and try her new shower gel … apparently).

[Kenton] “Maybe I’ll dig mine out too. Would be good to freshen up”

No. Good god, no. Not again? Surely not again???

But Jolene then sends Kenton off to get a magazine she’d left at reception. She had a very weak excuse for it being so important he got it right now – something about her being halfway through a story. I never knew Take a Break (and the like) was actually readable.

To make absolute sure that Kenton has got the message, just before he heads out:

[Jolene] “I’ll see you in a bit then … after my shower”

Phew!



Ruth’s kind to Joe

I think Ruth is probably the only person left in Ambridge who is willing to give Joe the benefit of the doubt being outed (for bad mistletoe advice) at Gardeners’ Question Time.

[Ruth] “Was it really just a scam, or did he just get his facts wrong?”

Jill reckons the proof was in the Panel all advising that it was indeed the wrong time to propagate mistletoe seeds.



David feels guilty

Which is nothing new, since Nigel died, but he seems to be obsessing that anything which goes wrong at Brookfield is his fault.

Very true that he didn’t take care of Brookfield while Elizabeth needed him at Lower Loxley – and Ruth told him so many, many times – but wasn’t he meant to be moving on?

Must be difficult for Ruth now to persuade him that the low milk yield isn’t his fault, after all the very candid ‘discussions’ they’ve had over the last few months.

[Ruth] “I’ve tried my best to cheer him up, but it’s uphill work”

The shower hasn’t gone away …

As Kenton returns to the room, Jolene has finished her shower.

But, maybe I said my ‘phew’ too soon.

Jolene seems keen for Kenton to take a shower, but he’s keen to have some boozy juice.

[Jolene] “Drink first, eh … we could save that for later”

(later? No. Not later. Never. Ever).

The Jolene’s reticence becomes (potentially) clear.

[Kenton] “Jolene, you did see the sign on the door? In six different languages? This is a no smoking room!”

Kenton hadn’t caught Jolene smoking, or even smelt smoke. He was just suspicious that she’d been so keen to get him out of the room.

So they have a good giggle that Kenton thought Jolene was being sneaky, even though she claims she hadn’t been smoking.

And as she pointed out, she’d have had a smoke in the balcony rather than the room.

What’s more, Jolene claims she hasn’t had any cravings since they left Ambridge.

[Jolene] “Kenton, sweetheart, why would I want one with you here? … I daresay we’ll keep my mind off it somehow”

Which sounds fair enough.

And I had been wondering whether Jolene was actually okay with sharing a room – they haven’t spoken about taking the next step for a wee bit now (though Jolene did say she was ready).

Well, that’s that question sorted. She’s well up for it.

Good on her.



“Here we go”

Ruth and Jill tune their wirelesses just in time to catch Gardeners’ Question time.

Well it’s a first for me:

[Jill] “here we go!”

The Archers Fri 22nd April 2011: The Ghost at The Book Club

click the title above, of the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Joe’s still keeping a low profile
• Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence
• Walk of Witness
• Outrageously smug non-smokers
• Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed
• Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham
• Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie
• The Book Club’s second meeting
• And the next book is …

Joe’s still keeping a low profile

He seems to now be hiding at the magazine racking in the village shop, rather than at Ed and Emma’s.

This means he has to feign an interest in mountain biking magazines.

May7be he should pay closer attention to the Gardening magazines? Business Magazines? Or ones which can help him with how to successfully create a great scam which won’t backfire, and won’t result in him having to hide next to magazine racking …


Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence

Joe reckons he knows Robert Harris’ The Ghost.

But all Lynda isn’t that convinced, after asking him what he thought of it.

[Lynda] “You’ll have to do a bit better than ‘interesting’. That hardly constitutes serious debate”

Walk of Witness

Jill mentioned the other day that the Book Club shouldn’t be meeting tonight, as it is Good Friday.

Lynda also has a tinge of ‘is this appropriate’:

[Lynda] “It seems rather frivolous after the walk of witness this morning”

But as Joe points out – not all Ambridge residents are Christians.


Outrageously smug non-smokers

I am utterly appalled.

Appalled that an adult like Jolene can be refused cigarettes in her local shop.

Appalled that her manfriend, Kenton, though he had the right to ask the volunteers at the village shop to refuse to serve her cigarettes.

And appalled that Lynda would then carry out Kenton’s wishes in refusing Jolene.

[Lynda] “He was eager to enlist us to the cause … pack the horrible habit in … you know it makes sense”

Then Lynda started waffling on about how Jolene should use visualisation to help her quit – see herself as a healthy woman without the addiction, and use positivity to help her quit.

Oh for feuck sake!

Jolene will quit when she’s decided she needs to – not when she’s been told to, forced to, by the vest of the village.

Can you imagine Lilian taking this sort of treatment?


Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed

Jim feels galvanised after Monday’s Gardeners’ Question Time recording.

But Lynda’s had a mixed week.

She’s not too pleased that Leonie is staying with her and Robert next week (even though Robert is very excited). She’s been quit put out that Caroline is going to take on Roy’s duties herself, rather than offering her staff (i.e. Lynda) promotion.

But Lynda did have a rather triumphant time at Gardeners’ Question Time. She’s taken quite a fancy to Matthew Wilson.

[Lynda] “Matthew is a consummate professional .. .charm personified”

Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham

Kenton has a fantasy of Jolene and myself driving to Monte Carlo, in an open top sports car, with Jolene in a headscarf a la Grace Kelly.

As she’s done so well with not smoking (!!!), he’s bought her a new scarf.

But it would seem it might not have hit the mark. Fallon reckoned the scarf is:

[Fallon] “… very Victoria Beckham”

Is it a tad too tacky and flashy (sorry Victoria!), or is this just generational?


Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie

No surprises there then, but it’s a bit worrying that Jolene now doesn’t even trust Jamie to not turn up with a bunch of his mates at The Bull. Fallon reckons she’ll be fine – as she has Rhys to hand – but it’s a series state of affairs that Fallon has to rely on someone else to protect her and the pub from Jamie.

[Jolene] “ … worried about leaving you with a busy pub an d a wayward teenager … it’s a short step from where he is now to being in serious trouble”

When Jamie later on texts Fallon, after no contact from him for days, Jolene couldn’t care less. She reckons he’s only getting in touch as he now needs somewhere to sleep (eat and get money from), and she’s furious about it.

And quite right too. She’s given him a home and a job, but he doesn’t take any of it seriously.

[Jolene] “Never had so much as an excuse, let alone an apology”

But.

As Fallon reasons, if Jamie doesn’t stay with them – where will he go? They can’t turn him away.

So, Jamie has them over a barrel (gettit!).

Very tiresome indeed. What is one to do with a troublesome teen?

When Jamie does turn up at The Bull, Jolene tries to give him what for:

[Jolene] “Just because you’re my stepson,. Don’t mean I’ll take it from you”

So he promise to “toe the line”, and properly help Fallon while Jolene is away.

Odds on he just continues business as usual …


The Book Club’s second meeting

Tonight’s book, as we all know, is Robert Harris’ The Ghost.

And, as we all also expected, Joe’s tried to be clever by watching the film, instead of reading the book. As also expected, he’s managed to watch the wrong film – Ghost, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg … Queue the hilarity …

[Joe] “The bit where the ghost bit takes over from the other ghost …”

[Jim] “ …Harris themes of puppet and puppet masters”

[Ruth] “I agree with Joe …”

Joe refers to demons – Jim thinks it’s a clever analogy for the CIA.

[Joe] “I don’t remember no sat nav – that ghost helped him on the tube …”

[Lynda] “ politician …”

[Joe] “You mean potter!”

[Joe] “You can’t forget that bit, where they has all that wet and they make a pot”

[Jim] “To the strains of unchained melody, perhaps …”

Sounds like Jim knew all along that Joe wouldn’t read the book, and also probably guessed he’d watch the wrong film.

Ruth was also caught with her pants down – poor woman was agreeing with Joe throughout, and sounded like she also thought Ghost (film) was the same as The Ghost (book). But bless her. She didn’t even him time to cheat by watching the film – she had to rely on memory from a while back.

The majority of the Book Club just laughed it off, especially Jim, but Lynda was outraged:

[Lynda] “That’s typical of you, and I cite the mistletoe debacle on Monday, if you’re going to cheat at least do it properly. And Ruth, I’m surprised at you!”

And the next book is …

Elizabeth Gaskell’s Cranford, as chosen by Lynda.

[Lynda] “And woe betide anyone who watched the boxset instead!”

That’s them told.

The Archers Thursday 21st April 2011: Kathy pulls a sickie

click the title above, of the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Elizabeth’s birthday
• Nice of Joe to let Clarrie take the heat
• First mention of the cricket season
• Is less more?
• The Ambridge take on the referendum …
• Everyone thinks Ruth is thick
• Gardeners’ Question Time
• The yield curve isn’t good
• Kathy calls in sick
• “Ian, can you remind Alfie to settle into his heals?”
• This year, Jill will mainly be gardening …
• Does Jill just dislike Kenton?
• There’s a time for cottage pie, and a time for borstal

Elizabeth’s birthday

And she seems surprisingly chirpy.

Probably helped that the kids have gone to a lot of effort (though we didn’t get to hear any of their day out).

Maybe Elizabeth is starting to appreciate what she’s still got.

[Elizabeth] “Kenton got me a huge box of smellies, so I’m feeling very spoiled”

A bit of a sad moment when Elizabeth asked Jill if she could come to lay flowers on Phil’s grave at the weekend (for what would have been his birthday), but Jill’s in top notch mother-nurturing mood:

[Jill] “Your father and Nigel would be so proud of you. I’m sure they’re both looking down with big smiles today”

Nice of Joe to let Clarrie take the heat

Joe’s still giving Keira a lot of attention – so that leaves Clarrie at home, dealing with his angry customers.

Typical.

Clarrie should lock Joe in the stocks on the village green, then head off to treat herself to a pampering, nice food and some new tights. She deserves nothing less for having to deal with those men of hers.

(and I don’t think the green does have stocks, but you get where I’m going. Have gone. Erm …)





First mention of the cricket season

Which, this year, was brought to you by Shula, speaking about Alistair having to plan for the upcoming season.

Hurrah!

It’s been beautiful weather, bank holidays a-plenty, and cricket is on the way.

There’s a slight taste of Summer in the air!



Is less more?

I generally think so.

Shula and Clarrie were discussing Lynda’s leaflet - too much text, in too small print - in comparison to Lilian’s – better, as it had less on it so was to the point.

[Shula] “Possibly due to the fact that she hasn’t got an awful lot to shout about”

Meow!


The Ambridge take on the referendum …

… is that it will encourage a bigger turn out for the Parish Council elections, as both are happening at the same time.

Brilliant!



Everyone thinks Ruth is thick

Chatting about how Ruth is struggling with The Ghost for the book club, Jill felt that she had the answer.

[Jill] “I’m sure it doesn’t matter if you just turn up and listen, even if you haven’t got anything to say”

What a shame on Ruth.

She really gets no credit.

The woman is busy!



Gardeners’ Question Time

Is this Sunday.

Hurrah! Wonder if they’ll edit Vicky out?



The yield curve isn’t good

As Jill’s wittering on about something or other, David seems very distracted.

And he is. He’s worrying about the mile yield. Seemingly they aren’t great – but worse still, they should be better than before, as the grass is better. But they’re actually worse.

Which doesn’t make any sense.

And Jill’s encouraging words (which sounded like she’d got from greetings cards – or those naff posters you buy for a motivational workplace) didn’t help matters.

So – not only is the yield bad, but they’ll also have to spend more money feeding the cows on concentrate, to try and get the yield back as (as the grass doesn’t seem to be working).

Extra cost, means less profit.

Wonder how Ruth will blame David about this one?



Kathy calls in sick

So that she can wait at home to try and catch Jamie.

(we found out in Ambridge Extra that the mess she found the other day was both Jamie and Marty returning to eat, get more kip, then head out again)

She’s also heard from Jolene that he didn’t turn up at The Bull, and missed another shift.

So she ends up sitting in the kitchen all day. Fretting and worrying.



“Ian, can you remind Alfie to settle into his heals?”

Eh?

Horsey talk from Shula. Way over my head.

As was Jill’s mention of tomorrow’s “Walk of witness”. I assume that’s something to do with Easter?



This year, Jill will mainly be gardening …

Broad beans and carrots (with Josh’s help), with an attempt at Florence fennel (which Phil once had success with).

Though the Ground-elder “seems to be coming back with a vengeance”


Does Jill just dislike Kenton?

It sometimes seems so.

She’ll comfort Elizabeth, and excuse her selfishness. She’ll support David, and try and make him feel better about low milk yields.

Yet, Kenton hardly ever gets a nice word said about him.

Jill is now losing sleep over him and Jolene.

[Jill] “He never thinks about the long term consequences of what he does. He just steams on regardless”

[Shula] “I don’t you’re doing him justice. He’s quite hurt at your attitude, you know mum…”

[Jill] “I can’t help what I think. And he doesn’t go out of his way to prove me wrong, does he?”

[Shula] “Look, instead of basing your opinion on past mistakes, isn’t it better to accept the choices that he makes now, and wait and see what happens?”

[Jill] “That’s easier said than done”

[Shula] “I know you just want us to be happy …Well, just let him and Jolene get on with it and find out for themselves if it works”

What’s Jill’s problem? Kenton and Jolene seem happy, so let them be.

Can’t quite believe it’s Saint Shula that’s defending Kenton’s liaisons. She’s not always been a Saint, and Kenton is her twin, but it would seem her moral stance is slightly relaxing. Maybe.




There’s a time for cottage pie, and a time for borstal

When Clarrie pops round to see Kathy, she finds that Jamie still hasn’t been home.

Kathy has made him a cottage pie (for goodness sake!), and still seems to think that she and Jamie could talk things through, if only he’d arrive home.

*sigh*

Haven’t we been at the ‘we need to talk; stage many times before?

At least Kathy does know that Jamie’s alive. She called his friends, and finally tracked him to Marty’s house.

[Clarrie] “At least you know he ain't been sleeping rough, and you know this family”

[Kathy] “To be honest, they don’t seem that bothered about what their own son gets up to, let alone mine”

[Clarrie] “Believe me Kathy, it’s better than nothing. You’ve just got to stick it out.”

[Kathy] “I’m finding it so hard to be patient Clarrie. I just want him home.”

Listen to Clarrie, Kathy. She knows what she’s talking about.

But maybe the time for pie is over. Just lock him up for a bit with bigger and badder lads than he could ever be ...

Ambridge Extra Thursday 21st April 2011: Chas is evil, but only cause Alice lets him be so

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• To be young, and able to sleep in after a heavy night
• Alice interrogated by the Police
• Jamie harassed by Polly’s mates
• Chas is a proper ‘boo, hiss!’ villain
• Their eyes met over sheep wormer
• Kirsty and Pip cat-fight?

To be young, and able to sleep in after a heavy night

[Marty’s dad] “Rise and shine sleeping beauties … it’s a beautiful day out there … had a few shandys, have you?”

Jamie and Marty are crashed out at Marty’s head, but his dad comes in to wake them up.

So, Jamie and Marty then head over to Jamie’s house (well, Kathy’s house, to be technically correct) as they know she’s at work. They want to keep sleeping.

So they do. And Jamie misses work at The Bull. Again.

Then they’re off out again that night to a club (which was “wicked” and “top”), staying at Marty’s again.

This time, Marty’s dad isn’t around, so they sleep in until 2pm.

Which means Jamie missed work at The Bull. Yet again.

Nice one, Jamie. Very astute of you to also infuriate Jolene and Fallon, so that you’ll eventually end up with no job and no-where to live.

Shall you then be running back to mummy?

But hang on – from the sounds of it – “hanging out” with Steve and Marty in Borchester is likely to include shoplifting, so at least the Police can give you a lift home.


Alice interrogated by the Police

Although being told that she’s not under caution, Alice must have been sweating during her Police interview – she knew that a lot of what she was about to say was either a lie (that she and Chas are an item), or something that she’d only been told to say (by Chas, as she was too drunk to remember).

Asked about that chap Sean (the one who’d been beaten up):

[Alice] “He started dancing with me, very close … too close … and his hands, well you know …”

[Policewoman] “He was overly intimate with you … and did Charles Forster intervene at any point?”

(aha! Chas does have a proper name after all. I thought he’d simply been named after Chas’ and Dave).

Alice says that Chas did step in, but that he only pushed Sean away.

[Policewoman] “How would you describe your relationship with Mr Forster?”

[Alice] “… recently, we’ve been seeing each other”

[Policewoman] “And you were with him the whole time”

[Alice] “Yes”

Not clever to lie to the Police, I think you’ll find Alice. Not clever. At. All.



Jamie harassed by Polly’s mates

Jamie’s getting “grief” from Polly’s mates by text, after he ignored her the other night (when he was the one who asked her round in the first place).

It’s okay, Polly’s mates. If you want to escalate up from texting to something more … ahem … direct … none of us will stop you.


Chas is a proper ‘boo, hiss!’ villain

The :Police don’t see through Alice’s lies, so they let her go. The first person she calls is Chas.

[Chas] “Did you stick to the story … how did it go, did they buy it?”

Alice reckons she just told them what had happened.

Is she dense?

Surely she must have spotted that Chas was a tad too stressed about proving his innocence (guilty conscience), and that she doesn’t actually know what happened.

Why is she being so blind and weak when it comes to Chas?

She really wants to get back home to Chris, but it doesn’t take much persuading from Chas to get her to take a detour to see him.

And once again – chase is slagging off Chris:

[Chas] “He’ll be working tomorrow, with his little hammer in his hand”

(aye – but even the littlest hammers can cave a skull, I think you’ll find).

When they meet up, Chas admits:

[Chas] “The truth is, I did actually hit him … he followed us out, he was all over you and I had to get physical with him … he turned really nasty, I had no choice”

(on why he is only telling this to Alice after she’d now unwittingly lied to the Police)

[Chas] “I didn’t want you to knowingly lie for me … I did it for you, to protect you, you see”

[Alice] “I suppose”

[Alice] “I really think we should own up”

[Chas] “It’s still assault, no matter how pure my motives were. I have my finals coming up, and I don’t want this hanging over my head, you don’t want that do you … maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t bear the way that scumbag was treating you, taking advantage of a drunk woman, and a married woman too, you’re too good a friend to let that pass”

[Alice] “Thank you”

(on Alice being worried about Chris finding out)

[Chas] “How can he find out? Don’t worry sweetheart. Everything’s cool.”

What? What what what what?????

How utterly pathetic is Alice being. Why on earth is she behaving like this, and simply whimpering after Chas? Is he that magnetic a personality?

Very, very bizarre. And not remotely in ‘character’. Alice is an Aldridge, after all!!!

I don’t like this Chas, and I don’t like Alice when she’s around Chas.

I do not advocate violence, but Chris needs to find out, and give Chas a good slapping (I know – that is violence, but needs must!).




Their eyes met over sheep wormer

Pip and Spencer bump into each other as she’s buying sheep wormer, and he’s buying jumpers (don’t you just love proper country stores! Dog food, next to ferret food, next to bridles, next to clothing, next to sheep wormer!).

Spencer asks out Pip for a coffee there and then – which she’s only too happy to accept.

And even though they’re caught by a Mr Buxton (who owns a boarding kennels and breeds Springers … actually he’s quite dull when it comes to Springers. Tends to go on and on … seemingly), they then have a jolly time in Jaxx.

And Spencer is sounding more and more impressive.

Pip reckons he was very patient and good with the boring Mr Buxton:

[Pip] “You did very well Spencer. The perfect gentleman”

(could we imagine her ever being able to have said that to Jude over his behaviour?)

And Spencer isn’t worried about fashion (and all that nonsense). He just wears what’s comfortable. He was worried about being underdressed for Jaxx, but Pip reassured that the student types tend to look more like farmers than he does, what with their jeans and checked shirts. The trendsetters that they think they are …

[Pip] “I used to go out with one”

[Spencer] “The checked shirt type?”

[Pip] “It didn’t end very well …”

No Pip - it ended very well indeed. Jude leaving the country was a huge result!


Kirsty and Pip cat-fight?

Kirsty brings Pip and Spencer’s coffee over, but then plonks herself down at their table.

(to be fair, she did have Council types in, celebrating someone’s leaving do. How horrid!)

And did we detect a slightly flirty edge to Kirsty as she congratulated Spencer over his Fun Run win?

She sounded like she was about to feel a bicep …

Will Kirsty makes a play for Pip’s new man even before he has become hers?

The Archers Wednesday 20th April 2011: Jamie returns, then leaves again

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Elizabeth approves
• Ruth’s too thick for The Ghost
• Kenton’s dreaming of Monte Carlo
• Jamie missed his shift
• Seriously, Keira is Will’s
• Jamie’s now turning Jolene into Kathy
• Joe suddenly got a sudden urge to babysit

Elizabeth approves

[Elizabeth] “I think it’s wonderful, and I’m really happy for you … mum does want you to be happy. She just wants to be sure that this is what will make you happy”

[Kenton] “Then she should trust me to know that for myself”

But it’s okay, Kenton.

As Elizabeth has given her approval for you to see Jolene, you can breathe a little more easy.

(Honestly, the ego of that woman!)



Ruth’s too thick for The Ghost

She seemingly can’t get into it, even though Lynda is now on her second read.

We’ll just put that one to tiredness, Ruth (bless ya).

And your family will also see you right. Kenton’s going to pump Jim for information.

[Elizabeth] “She’s going to look very erudite, coming out with Jim’s opinion”

Ah – Ruth looking intelligent. That’s what was to Shock Ambridge to the Core!


Kenton’s dreaming of Monte Carlo

[Kenton] “ …mountain road, in a DB5 convertible … You with your head scarf tied a la Grace Kelly, and me in a pair of shades”

[Jolene] “I hope you’ll be wearing a bit more than that!”

[Kenton] “Well, some of the time”

Oh my.

I really hope that the secret microphones don’t follow Jolene and Kenton on holiday. We’ll all be hiding behind the sofa.

He’s also very proud of Jolene for not smoking (um …), and is chuffed that his kiss test is working (um … actually, Kenton).

Here’s how it will go.

Jolene sneaks a fag. Kenton catches her. They have their first argument. But make up again.

Or, Jolene doesn’t sneak a fag. Is miserable and grumpy the whole time. She and Kenton argue. They break up.

So – smoking is goof for Jolene and Kenton. He just needs to accept that.


Jamie missed his shift

And Jolene was so angry, that she refused to go up and drag him out of bed.

[Jolene] “He can do some spud bashing or summit before he goes out”

He’s a tw*t!



Seriously, Keira is Will’s

Today, Keira is a “grizzly little thing”

She really hasn’t been happy since she was born.

Remind you of any other Grundy?

Clarrie reckons she just need to be swaddled. Emma should listen to that.

Clarrie knows all.



Jamie’s now turning Jolene into Kathy

Jolene went upstairs to see Jamie, only to find that he’d done a runner.

She doesn’t realise it yet, but he’s also stolen the pack of ciggies Lilian had given her). He’s going to pay for that, once Jolene stops blaming Kenton (and covering asking by suggesting he’d removed her lip gloss …).

Kathy returned home to find the house in uproar – socks on the floor, dirty kitchen, bed slept in, bedroom a mess … all signs of Jamie (a “message” from Jamie), but no actual Jamie to be seen.

[Kathy] “Hmmm. What’s he doing sleeping in the daytime. He must be out all night”

[Clarrie] “If it were me, I’d at least be glad he’s around … you know he’s eating and sleeping, so he’s okay … it’s just a matter of time. It’s not easy, I know, but you’re doing the right thing”

Then Jolene phones Kathy in a panic. She’s worried where’s Jamie gone to – sounding remarkably like Kathy used to (when Jolene use to dismiss her and see her as OTT).

Jolene’s worried she did the wrong thing:

[Jolene] “I was so fed up with him Kathy, I just let him stew”

Let him go, Jolene. If Kathy does the same, we’ll all get some peace.


Joe suddenly got a sudden urge to babysit

Poor Joe. He’s still in hiding after Gardeners’ Question Time.

At least Emma will get a break if Joe’s helping out. Especially since she’s really not good at coping with two.

The Archers Tuesday 19th April 2011: Peggy agrees to tea with Ted

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Jamie’s hungover
• Joe’s keeping a low profile
• Ted’s a patient man
• Give Jolene a break
• Lynda cannae haud her wheesht
• Laughing at Vicky
• Lilian becomes Jolene’s dealer
• A repeat of the decapitated pigeon …
• It’s okay, Lynda has buns
• Fun for all the family
• Mention of Harry

Jamie’s hungover

[Fallon] “He could barely grunt earlier on in the morning”

Fair enough that a young chap gets a tad drunk once in a while. But, I find it odd that his hangovers are so bad (I didn’t get bad hangovers until my mid-twenties) – and he’s turning Fallon into a mum.

She now can’t settle until he gets in. No matter what time it is.

After going back to bed once he’d barely grunted at Fallon in the morning, Fallon and Jolene then had to wake him up to do his shift. Jolene’s not at all amused.

[Jolene] “You wanted the job, so get on with it!”

Just wait until she catches him stealing booze, or her precious rations of fags.

Little twerp.

There surely must be one of those teen boot camps somewhere near Ambridge. Which is only one step away from me saying ‘bring back National Service’ … ugh.



Joe’s keeping a low profile

After Gardeners’ Question Time blowing Joe’s entire business model (that his mistletoe would never grow), he’s gone into hiding from his ‘clients’.

[Lilian] “I can just see them now, chasing him through the village with flaming torches”

Ted’s a patient man

Ted must really see something special in Peggy. He’s put up with her blowing hot and cold – but it does finally pay off.

Mrs Peggy Woolley is able to take tea today.

Hurrah!

[Ted] “A bit of fine weather and free air improves all our spirits”

Would seem so. And how nice for both of them.

At tea, ted then invites Peggy to a talk his giving at his U3A meeting (University of the Third Age – for folks over 50 who want to meet to socialise and learn).

Sounds like Peggy was tempted.

Would that be their second or first date?



Give Jolene a break

Or even just a fag.

[Fallon] “Caught you red handed! Loitering with intent at the cigarette machine …”

First off – do pubs actually have cigarette machines anymore? I haven’t seen one in years.

And second – it wasn’t Jolene’s idea to quit. Just leave the woman be!


Lynda cannae haud her wheesht

Lynda asks Caroline if it’s true Roy is leaving Lower Loxley.

[Caroline] “Ah. I think Vicky was speaking out of turn there”

She confides in Lynda that it’s true, but that Lynda has to keep stum.

What Lynda agrees to. Along with offering her candidacy for Roy’s job.

After Lynda has left:

[Caroline] “Oh Lord!”

But later on – Peggy sees Lynda on the Lower Loxley computer – assumes she’s still working – but she’s on her lunch – so admits that she’s working on her CV.

[Lynda] “it’s all very hush hush”

For goodness sake woman! That’s not on, and also not the way to get the promotion (which doesn’t exist anyway).


Laughing at Vicky

Which is easy to do at the best of times, but her having to climb in through the kitchen window to ask her Gardeners’ Question Time question on Monday is particular gold.

[Lilian] “ … she ran back into the hall red as a lobster with hair like Ken Dodd’s”

[Jolene] “A good job she don’t do dignity, our Vicky”

Lilian becomes Jolene’s dealer

[Lilian] “If you got any closer to me and my ciggie Jolene there’d be rumours!”

Lilian’s outside The Bull having a fag – Jolene’s passively smoking it.

Jolene really isn’t having an easy time trying to quit smoking. Probably because it wasn’t her decision in the first place.

[Lilian] “I don’t why anyone bothers to try …”

Lilian gives Jolene one of her cigarettes (ready to snatch it from Jolene and pretend she’s smoking it), then gives her a nearly full packet to keep in her handbag,

[Lilian] “It’s just for emergencies, Jolene. If you’ve got some ciggies to hand, you won’t feel like you’re being deprived of a guilty pleasure, so you won’t feel the need to smoke as often”

[Jolene] “Yeah, I think that makes sense”

[Lilian] “Course it does, darling”

And if you’re a smoker/have quit smoking, that’ll also make perfect sense to you as well.

Though as a way to quit? Mais non.

Wonder how Jolene’s going to sneak any cigarettes in while she’s with Kenton in Monte Carlo? She’s just be miserable the whole time if she can’t …



A repeat of the decapitated pigeon …

Lynda’s telling Peggy that she’s found another smashed Peregrine egg.

Which Lynda is most upset about.

But, from the behaviour of the Peregrine parents, it would seem that they still have eggs to hatch.

(I still think human hands are at play. Eggs don’t just smash themselves, and to have two eggs topple out of the nest would be very bad parenting. “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” Oscar Wilde)

[Peggy – not a fan of the Peregrines and their dietary habits] “I hope we won’t have a repeat of the decapitated pigeon episode”

[Lynda] “Ah, nature is as red in tooth and claw, as Tennyson would have it. We rural dwellers must accept that that’s how it is”

It’s okay, Lynda has buns

Peggy is a bit surprised that the is book club happening on Good Friday – but it’s okay, Lynda has buns. Easter ones, that is.



Fun for all the family

Seemingly Lynda’s Parish Council election leaflet is very full of information.

[Lynda to Peggy] “Shall I give you more, to give to family and friends?”

Peggy declines. How strange.



Mention of Harry

He hasn’t been heard or spoken about in a wee while – where’s Harry?

Fallon mentioned he would be helping out with games at The Bull for Easter, and today:

[Peggy to Lynda] “Are you emailing, or Twittering, or whatever Harry calls it?”

But where is he?

Has Jazzer buried him under the patio?

(which would be hard, as they live in a flat).

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 19th April 2011: Alice is digging an even deeper hole

click the title above, or the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Is Chas a liar?
• Alice certainly is
• Spencer sounds alright
• “Nice try Jamie, but you’re only 15”
• The mystery of the trainers
• Why is Chris saying “whatever”?
• “innit”
• Spencer finds Pip interesting
• Jamie’s such a tw*t
• Chris wants a boxset, and warm feet

Is Chas a liar?

Chas phones Alice (yet again).

He’s in a flap because the chap who had been coming onto Alice at the club (Sean) was beaten up that night, outside the club.

And Sean’s told the Police that Chas did it. So the Police have questioned Chas.

Chas reckons he didn’t do it:

[Chas] “All I did was pull him off you and read him his fortune”

(eh? I didn’t notice any fortune telling. Or is that ‘street’ talk)

[Chas] “We went home straight after then, yeah. I told the police we were together that night and all the next morning”

What’s more, Chas also told the Police that he and Alice were an item. Because the reality of them not having actually had any adult intimacy was “a bit lame” and that they were “housemates with benefits”.

What an arse.

There was no need to embellish, and it also raises the question (again) about whether Chas told the truth when he said that nothing had happened. It’s not as if Alice would remember.

Which leads us onto Alice agreeing to say to the Police that Chas had been with her the whole time, when she can’t in fact remember – he could easily have beaten up Sean without her having any recollection of it.

Later on, Chas doesn’t miss any opportunity to have a subtle dig at Chris (over Alice being worried about her texts being read, and how Chris should be more understanding about Alice needing to see Tammy … even though it’s a lie).

Maybe Chas is somehow related to Harry. He’s very odd.

Even worse, Alice lets him call her:

[Chas] “Good girl”

after she has agreed to do his bidding.

Yuck.

Alice certainly is

(a liar)

What on earth is wrong with Alice?

She can’t seem to stay away from Chas – has hidden from Chris that she shared Chas’ bed – lied to Chris about needing him to go to work so she could study, when she was actually off to see Chas – and is now lying to Chris about going back down to Southampton.

She’s told Chris that she needs to see her mate Tammy, who she says is having boyfriend problems. She even went as far to berate Chris for not remembering that Tammy had the same problems with her boyfriend at Christmas.

Which is breaking the first rule of lying.

Keep it simple.


Spencer sounds alright

Spencer is Steve’s brother. Steve is one of Jamie’s moronic mates.

[Spencer] “Oh great. Another night with your spotty freaks cluttering up the lounge”

[Spencer] “And turn that down a bit. I’m trying to watch Top Gear”

Well said, Sir.

I think he could be quite suitable boyfriend for Pip indeed.



“Nice try Jamie, but you’re only 15”

Ah, you gotta appreciate Fallon’s style.

She was onto Jamie stealing from The Bull. Instead of shouting at him, she just replaced some beer that he’d stolen with some juices instead, with a note saying:

“Nice try Jamie, but you’re only 15”

But she’s a classy lady, so still left him with two bottles of beer.


The mystery of the trainers

Spencer has Pip’s trainers. He reckons she must have left them there at the Fun Run.

But Pip can’t work out how she could have left them there.

Either way – Spencer seemed very keen to pop them round to Pip, and Pip seemed quite pleased about that.

Do we sense a summer romance for Pip?




Why is Chris saying “whatever”?

He said it the other day, and said it again tonight.

I know Chris isn’t the academic sort, but why has he started using moron language?


“innit”

Or, to be more accurate:

“(inaudible banter that sound like one of Jamie’s mates trying to talk street/Jamaican/”whatever”) innit”

*sigh*

It’s even forced me to this article in the Daily Mail: 'That's phat, brotha! Innit?' Tesco issues guide to teenage slang for its older staff

I really don’t like that anything Ambridge related has made me read something in the Daily Mail.



Spencer finds Pip interesting

Cripes!

Spencer takes Pip’s trainers back to her at Brookfield, so they gently flirt over talk of cows:

[Pip] “Yes, some Brown Swiss and some British Friesian”

[Spencer] “Breeding for longevity, eh?”

[Pip] “The Philosophy is not to stress the herd, lower inputs and lower yield, but better health, more lactations per beast”

Pip does realise that she’s waffling onto a bloke that she’s quote attracted to, but Spencer is also a Young Farmer – so is quite ‘into’ that sort of thing.



Jamie’s such a tw*t

[Jamie] “No matter what time I get in, Fallon and Jolene wake me up for my lunchtime shift”

Aw, diddum. Are the nasty ladies (who let you stay in their house for only £10 a week) then actually make you work to earn your wages.

Terrible!

Not content with stealing booze from The Bull, Jamie is also now stealing Jolene’s cigarettes from her handbag. He reckons he can get away with it, as Jolene can’t admit to anyone that she’s actually still smoking.

He’s then a twerp to ‘Pretty Polly’, who he’s invited round to Steve’s, but doesn’t think to then take her elsewhere (away from the spotty morons).

She quote rightly gets bored/annoyed/furious, so goes home.

Jamie’s so thick, he doesn’t spot that she’s annoyed. But I think he then got the message that she wasn’t interested in seeing him again.

His response?

[Jamie] “that stuck up cow”

Nice Jamie. Very nice. Not much hope of you ever becoming anything decent then … unless someone smacks your bottom, and soon.



Chris wants a boxset, and warm feet

Which I think is perfectly normal and usual – but it’s not exactly exciting for Alice.

Maybe that’s why all the odd behaviour with Chas is happening?

I’m not sure who Chris wanted a box set of, but on the feet came up when he was heading to bed, but Alice was staying up.

[Chris] “Don’t be long. I need something to warm my feet on “

Sexy!

The Archers Monday 18th April 2011: Gardeners’ Question Time in Ambridge

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Lynda and hunky Matthew Wilson
• Vicky and Eric Robson
• Lilian does the dishes
• The chosen ones
• Oh dear, what can the matter be? Poor old Vicky’s locked in the lavatory
• Vicky and Lilian bunking up
• And the answer to Vicky’s question?
• Bob liked Peggy’s cake
• Vicky’s smitten
• Vicky, foot, mouth

Lynda and hunky Matthew Wilson

[Joe] “I saw that Lynda Snell as I was coming put, dressing up to the nines”

[Vicky] “(Lynda’s with that) hunky Matthew Wilson to do a recording”

[Joe] “Why she’s getting all dressed up, it’s only on the wireless … and she was jumping up and down like a demented grasshopper. I don’t know what that’s all about”

Later on, Lynda reveals all:

[Lynda] “Matthew showed me how to aerate the lawn, which was potentially a little embarrassing. One has to put a wiggle into it”

Vicky and Eric Robson

While Lynda’s jumping on (and near) Matthew Wilson, Vicky gets to sell Eric Robson a chocolate bar.

Joe is most put out by Vicky’s fawning. When he wants to buy something, it’s all “self-service”

[Vicky] “What a nice man”

(Eric, not Joe)


Lilian does the dishes

Lilian’s duties at Gardeners’ Question Time have expanded from being the bouncer, to being the dish washer.

She’s not one to complain, thought.

[Lilian] “Don’t worry about me, darling. What I know about gardening, I could write on the back of a fag packet.”

Wonder if she had a bottle of gin stashed somewhere. She did sound very chirpy/


The chosen ones

The folks who get their questions picked, not only get their question read out and answered – they also get to sit at the front!

My goodness!

Joe was put out not to have his question chosen:

[Joe] “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be … they gone and picked that Sabrina Thwaite when all she does in the garden is sunbathe”

Jill and Neil also got their questions picked … as did Vicky’s. No wonder Joe is so put out. Vicky’s is about the propagation of mistletoe …

[Joe] “Well, people might get the wrong idea if they don’t agree with how I’ve been doing it”

So, Joe copes with potential embarrassment and financial ruin in a very mature and sensible manner …




Oh dear, what can the matter be? Poor old Vicky’s locked in the lavatory

Vicky pops out from the recording to the loo, when Joe is standing with Lilian having a natter (well, he’s eating all of the cakes).

Lilian has to nips away for a second, so Joe – quite calmly – locks Vicky in the toilet.

If Vicky can’t get out to ask her question, Joe won’t be proved wrong in his mistletoe promises.

Lilian finally hears Vicky, and unlocks the door (Joe is claiming it was stick), then nips off again to The Bull.

So Joe now won’t let Vicky into the recording.

Finding her way physically barred by an irrational Grundy, Vicky runs after Lilian to ‘tell’ and ‘make the big boy stop’ (my words), but is too late.

And even (even!) worse still, Joe now locks Vicky out of the entire building!

He then lies and says Vicky has turned ill, and has had to go home.

Ah, that Joe is a right rascal!


Vicky and Lilian bunking up

As Lilian returns from The Bull, she finds a rather desperate Vicky trying to get back
into the hall by climbing into a window.

[Vicky] “The kitchen window is the only way in … quick; will you give us a bunk up?”

Which Lilian does. Vicky gets in. And manages to ask her question.

Hurrah!



And the answer to Vicky’s question?

The panel reckoned Joe’s mistletoe was propagated too early.

[Joe] “I was only doing what my fore fathers did … must be that global warning”

But Joe knows when he’s been put to rights. He mumbles something, then runs away as Eric

Joe runs away from Eric Robson walks over.

[Jim] “Exit pursued by irate customers”

Ha!


Bob liked Peggy’s cake

So says Eric, and asks Jill to take him over to Peggy so that he can thank her.

Grand. All that subterfuge was worth it. Heady times indeed!



Vicky’s smitten

Lynda introduces Vicky to Matthew Wilson (after Matthew had sounded none too keen to “pop back” to Lynda’s when he was next passing).

Vicky reckoned Matthew was gorgeous and rather charming, especially as he bid them farewell with:

[Matthew] “And as Eric would say, happy gardening!”

Christine Walkden asked Vicky if she was all right (which Vicky too as just Christine being nice, rather than registering that she looked a fright after clamouring through the kitchen window)

So all in all, it’s been rather magical for our Vicky.

While is why she gets over excited, and says something she shouldn’t …


Vicky, foot, mouth

You wouldn’t be forgiven for thinking that Vicky is a tad mad at time (gettit?), but she just has a case of having no tact, diplomacy or an ability to keep a secret.

She says to Lynda:

[Vicky] “It’s been such a great few days. What with this, and with Roy’s news …”

Doh!

She proceeds to tell Lynda that Roy has accepted a job at Lower Loxley, which everyone else had been trying to keep quiet for the while.

Lynda was very interested.

Very interested indeed.

So, can we now expect Lynda to vie for a job that doesn’t even exist – and to then be crushed when she finds out that there is no chance of promotion?

The Archers Sunday 17th April 2011: Elona is determined about Peggy and Ted

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Jack is enjoying his biscuits
• “To do any other than that would feel disloyal”
• Kathy’s worried
• Caroline’s not ready to retire
• Peggy still irons Jack’s shirts
• Peggy and Elona swap sayings
• I love it when the cows are turned out
• “Even though Jill gave us strict instructions!”
• Loos or Looms?

Jack is enjoying his biscuits

Especially as he can share them with the birds.

If it wasn’t for his ever decreasing mental facilities, Jack would be living a life of riley.


“To do any other than that would feel disloyal”

I’m not sure why Elona is so hell-bent on Ted and Peggy spending time together, but she is most definitely not letting it lie.

She sounds like a nice lady, so (I reckon) just wants to see Peggy have friendship and support with Ted (and vice versa).

She manages to get Peggy to admit that she’s avoiding Ted, as she hasn’t got any time for friends. What with her family … and also that she’s not sure how much time she actually has left with Jack.

Now that’s a heady mix of guilt and responsibility.

But in amongst all that – where’s Peggy’s time to lead her own life?

Also a pity that it’s taken ‘hired help’ to spot that Peggy needs a pal.

Elona does later persuade Peggy that she’s sure Ted doesn’t want more than friendship – and that:

[Elona] “Jack is in a place where … you wouldn’t hurt him … and would be happy for you to enjoy the company of friends”

Peggy sounds like she agrees.

I tell you what – Ted and Peggy are off/on more often than your average Z list celebs!


Kathy’s worried

Again.

Though she has taken Fallon's advice to heart (that she needs to give Jamie space while he still knows she’s there for him), she’s concerned it will take as long for her and Jamie to make up as it did for Fallon and Wayne. They took 3 whole years.

[Clarrie] “Wayne’s a very different person to you Kathy”

And how!

I don’t think Kathy needs to worry too much. Jamie will be back. Fallon and Jolene will soon catch him stealing from The Bull …

And if Clarrie and Eddie’s experience with Ed is anything to go by, even those that wander off far and wide come back to home eventually.


Caroline’s not ready to retire

Oliver is not a happy man.

He handed over his herd to Ed Grundy so that he could retire, only to find his wife is not ready to enter the twice-yearly-cruise stage of life.

Caroline has decided that she won’t hire another manager – she’ll do it all.

Oliver reckons they should have made that decision together. He was enjoying spend more time with Caroline, and wanted her to step back from Grey Gables, rather than step forward (all because of that bloomin’ poaching madam Elizabeth!).

[Oliver] “You’ll be back to living to work rather than working to live”

Caroline reckons they have plenty of time to later retire and enjoy, but Oliver isn’t so sure.

[Oliver] “Well how much later? When you retire … at the time you retire, I might be in my 70s … I just don’t want us to miss out, that’s all”

(oo-er – that sounds a bit ominous. Oliver to die under a yard tractor soonish, leaving Caroline to mourn both him and her decision to choose work over retirement?)

But – Caroline is getting a “buzz” out of having Grey Gables completely under her control, and wants the challenge.

Do I also not recall that Oliver giving up his work so that he could have more time off, while also helping Caroline at Grey Gables?

Either way – they decide to give it 6 months to see if it will be fine, or too much, for Caroline.

Oliver will be marking the days …



Peggy still irons Jack’s shirts

How odd.

Could that side of the Archer clan not afford Jack an all-inclusive package?

Or does Peggy still want to take proper care of Jack, even though she can’t have him at home?


Peggy and Elona swap sayings

[Peggy] “Ne’er cast a clout till May is out …”

(though Peggy isn’t sure if that means until June, or when the Hawthorne blossoms. It’s the Hawthorne: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ne%27er_cast_a_clout_til_May_be_out)

[Elona] “A bag full of friendship is worth a wagon full of corn”

(I think Elona’s mum made that one up).




I love it when the cows are turned out

Caroline’s enjoying watching Ed’s “young stock” revealing in their first time outside.

It is a great thing to watch.

If you’ve never seen it – get yourself down to a farm. It's grand watching the newly born, but even better to watch the older ones when they first get let out after winter.

A grown cow, leaping and playing like a new born lamb.

Marvellous.



“Even though Jill gave us strict instructions!”

Clarrie’s shocked to be told by Peggy that Peggy has been baking extra cakes for the panel of Gardeners’ Question time.

But not as shocked as Peggy to find Jill at her front door, just as she's finishing her baking.

Jill is quite demanding.

To be let in.

To be made a cup of tea.

And that she is given a biscuit, out of the nearby biscuit tin.

Slightly panicking, Peggy says “no” to the biscuit. The biscuit tin is just an empty one.

[Jill, sounding suspicious] “Peggy. This feels very heavy …”

[Peggy, grumbling into admission, without really being pushed] “I couldn’t resist … your instructions on what we should and shouldn’t bake were quite draconian … and when I found out Bob Flowerdew prefers organic foods … I baked it especially for him”

I did suck in a lot of air when I heard Peggy call Jill ‘draconian’, but not to worry. Jill wasn’t at all annoyed, and they had a good giggle at Peggy trying to sneak cake into the green room.

Seemingly everyone’s been at it.


Loos or Looms?

Where did Jill say they’d especially put flowers in at the village hall for Gardeners’ Question time?

The Archers Friday 15th April 2011: Ted and Peggy?

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Lilian’s so smoking!
• Jennifer is indeed still in South Africa
• Cakes at twenty paces
• Questions, questions …
• Lilian’s new career as a bouncer
• Brenda’s back on the leaflets!
• “If it was up to Lynda Snell, we’d all be plunged into darkness at midnight”
• Clarrie stands up for George
• George & Keira like Will and Ed?
• Does Ed love Keira more?
• When was Peggy friendly with Ted?

Lilian’s so smoking!

And she has the occasional cigarette as well.

Wonder how long it will take for Jolene to have to nip round to Lilian’s for a cigarette late at night, after the shop has shut, when she’s desperate but has none in …



Jennifer is indeed still in South Africa

Peggy has confirmed it, so that one’s cleared up (what was Alice thinking?).

Ruairi is in Ireland, and having a lovely time as well.

[Vicky] “It’s nice for him to have a little holiday too”

[Peggy] “Nice for Brian!”

Cakes at twenty paces

Looks like there might be a showdown between Jill and Peggy over cakes.

Jill has been stressing that she has too many folks involved in the catering for Gardeners’’ Question Time – but Peggy has seemingly decided to make a “special” cake for the presenters.

Without telling Jill.

This could turn quite nasty.


Questions, questions …

Vicky is also excited about Gardeners’ Question Time, though she’s not sure if her question is ‘”appropriate”.

Unlike Jill, who won’t share what her question is, Peggy is more than happy to tell hers to Vicky to help her understand what might be a good enough one.

Peggy’s question is about her gladiolus.

[Peggy] “ .. . the corns I lifted in the Autumn are covered with little tiny corns. I want to know if I should brush them off before planting … could be potted up … how long to flower”

[Vicky] “That’s really good. So clever and interesting. Mine’s nothing like that …It’s about these mistletoe propagation Joe Grundy’s been selling. I wanna ask the panel if they think they can actually work!”

[Peggy] “I think that a very good question … but I’d keep it to myself if I were you”

Oh-ho! Joe’s ploy to be lambasted on national radio?

Just wait until Sabrina hears the truth.



Lilian’s new career as a bouncer

Lilian reckons she has a:

[Lilian] “very important part in the proceedings … only person in the village who doesn’t want to ask a question ..”

As Lilian really isn’t that bothered about Gardeners’ Question Time, she’s become the bouncer … well, doorkeeper, in Ambridge terms.

Matt persuaded her that it’d be a good way to impress voters during the Parish elections – so, as per, as Matt says to do, Lilian does.

But Peggy reckons she can’t have any cake! Presenters only.


Brenda’s back on the leaflets!

It’s been a while – so about time Brenda let her true talent out again.

As Brenda’s doing Lilian’s election leaflets, Lilian reckons they’ll look superb.

[Peggy] “But will it actually say anything?”

Meow!

And not sure if that was directed at Lilian (for being a bit blonde sometimes), or Brenda (for design over substance).



“If it was up to Lynda Snell, we’d all be plunged into darkness at midnight”

So reckons Lilian.

She also reckons it was her who got the streetlamps sorted, despite Lynda’s protestations.

(I’m with Lynda on that one. I’d love our village to be dark at night).



Clarrie stands up for George

As promised to Will, Clarrie pops round to see Ed to tackle the problem of George feeling very left out because of baby Girl Grundy Keira. – which Clarrie and Will reckon Ed and Emma aren’t dealing with very well.

[Ed] “You’ve got the wrong end of the stick. You don’t understand what Emma’s trying to do”

Ed reckons Emma is trying to involve George with Keira by asking him to help look after her. George sees it as him having to do stuff he doesn’t want to do because of the baby.

I can see his point – that’s its better George helps, than Emma having to send him to his room so she can concentrate on Keira. But he had a bit of a cheek also saying that it was better than him being ‘stuck’ in front of the telly. Wasn’t that exactly what Ed did with him just a few weeks ago?

Clarrie’s point about the Fun Run (Emma choosing to put George elsewhere while she took Keira, as George had been playing up and she couldn’t cope with the two of them:

[Clarrie] “Of course it were better for Emma, I don’t blame her. But from George’s point of view, he were being punished”

And Clarrie also tells Ed that George has said he wants to baby to go back, and for him to stay with Will.

Ed doesn’t entirely believe Clarrie at first – because it came via Will. He reckons Will is just jealous.

Which Clarrie uses to ram home her point that Ed and Emma have to do something better with George asap.


George & Keira like Will and Ed?

[Clarrie] “Is that what you want Keira and George to end up like? Like you and Will”

Seemingly, Clarrie has some regrets about how she brought up Will and Ed – if she’d done something different, maybe they wouldn’t hate each other as much.

[Ed] “You can’t blame yourself because he’s an idiot … it’s nothing to do with our childhood”

Does Ed love Keira more?

George doesn’t think so. Neither does Clarrie. But interesting that it was Ed who brought it up:

[Ed] “So you’re not hinting that I love Keira more because she’s biologically mine?”

I wouldn’t have though Ed would think like that, but one can’t help one’s feelings sometimes.

Clarrie makes a very good suggestion that it’s Ed who should be making more time for George, while Emma deals with the Keira.

[Clarrie] “You can make a fuss of George. Make it a good thing that he’s older”

[Ed] “He can help me out with the cows. It’d be much better than Will’s boring old birds … “

(Ed reckons it’s only Will who is the idiot?!?)



When was Peggy friendly with Ted?

I do remember Peggy being friendly with Ted when she first met him (back in the day when Jack has first gone into the home), but also then she was just as fast to step back from being friendly.

I thought she realised that friendship could lead to something more, so took herself away from Ted to avoid it happening. Even though Jack is muchly ‘fond’ of Ted’s wife (who is in the home with him).

But, seemingly Peggy and Ted have been chatting recently. However – she’s now back to being a bit cold with him.

She wasn’t very warm when he came over to say help, refused to go for a walk with him, Jack and his wife (she reckoned Jack would become confused with too many people), AND wouldn’t even have cake and coffee with Ted.

Ted’s worried that Peggy doesn’t like him – that’s he’s the problem.

But Elona is a canny lass, who can see potential in Peggy and Ted:

[Peggy] “Don’t give up trying Ted. Not yet”

Come on Peggy. You have a right to a life, you know.

The Archers Thursday 14th April 2011: Will is on the warpath

click this post's title, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Brain Freeze!
• Emma isn’t a real mother
• Birthday cards for the recently bereaved?
• Kissing Kenton
• David Cameron name check
• “Did you like Uncle Ed when he got bigger?”
• Is it Shula or Usha that has the problem?
• Clarrie is not amused

Brain Freeze!

I’m having a difficult time flipping between The Archers and Ambridge Extra.

In today’s Ambridge Extra, the Fun Run was taking place – in tonight’s Ambridge Proper, it was just about to happen.

I’m told by the sources close to them that place the secret microphones that Ambridge Extra does work to its own timescale, and covers different times.

*that’s when my brain starts to hurt*

The mention by Alice of having phoned her mum to make sure she didn’t pop over when Alice and Chris were getting intimate was seemingly a technical error. Cause, of course, Jennifer is in South Africa.

Maybe Ambridge Extra is ‘just’ a parallel universe?


Emma isn’t a real mother

According to Will.

He’s furious that Ed and Emma are choosing to take Girl Grundy Keira to the Fun Run, but to dump George off elsewhere.

George is seemingly playing up quite badly, and Emma decided she couldn’t cope with two needy kids in public.

Will thinks that a proper mum would just have stayed at home with both kids, while Ed went off to do the Fun Run.

So Will’s taking George to work with him, while seething at Ed and Emma.

[Will] “George seems to be getting a very rough deal since this baby was done … as far as George’s concerned, all he seems is to fetch and run after her …I’ll make a fuss of him, even if no-one else is”

I hate saying this, but Will does have a point.

While it is natural and normal for a first kid to play up over a new baby, so we’ll take George’s complaints with a bit of salt, Emma really shouldn’t have chosen to leave George behind. He’d have enjoyed the Fun Run, plus surely it’s important that she makes a special effort with George, so try and deal with his jealousy?

Good lord – I hate agreeing with Will!


Birthday cards for the recently bereaved?

They probably do exist – but if not, there’s a good gap in the market for some budding entrepreneur.

Usha was saying how hard it is to get an okay card for Elizabeth. One which doesn’t go on about celebrating, happy days etc etc

Then again, couldn’t she just get a nice one with a picture and a blank inside?


Kissing Kenton

Kenton is suspicious that Jolene is still smoking, so has a cunning plan:

[Kenton] “You can always tell is someone’s been smoking if you kiss them … I’m just going to have to kiss her a lot”

David Cameron name check

[Susan] “It’s a relief to have someone normal in the shop …Jolene … looking for some extra strong mouthwash … and you’ll never guess who else”

[Clarrie] “David Cameron”

[Susan] “Hilary Noakes! … I thought she got all her stuff delivered … and then she had the nerve to tell me about how we should use local produce”

[Clarrie] “She even waved at Eddie in the street the other week … he nearly crashed the van … (hasn’t spoken to him since) that business about water feature”

So, kinda apt that David Cameron was mentioned. Looks like Hilary Noakes is getting right up Ambridge residents noses with her campaigning …




“Did you like Uncle Ed when he got bigger?”

Will is talking to George about his new sister, and how she isn’t going to go away. He needs to both get used to the new situation, and stop hating her.

[George] “Can I come and live with you … I don’t like the new baby .. until she doges back … I want to swap her, for a boy … she’s so boring … but I don’t want her”

As will tries to reason with George, he comes out with:

[George] “Did you like Uncle Ed when he got bigger?”

Tee-hee! Will couldn’t answer that one.


Is it Shula or Usha that has the problem?

Usha’s talking about Daniel doing work experience with her.

[Usha] “What about Shula … the thought of me, working with her son”

So Shula thinks Usha will have a problem with it – Usha thinks Shula will have a problem – but both actually don’t have a problem (and doesn’t sound like Daniel gets to say anything!).

Oh those two! They should just have a proper chat and sort themselves out. This has gone on long enough.



Clarrie is not amused

[Will] “It’s terrible, what he’s been telling me, terrible … I’m not having it. I’m going to go round and have it out with them”

Clarrie stops him, and says she’ll go round.

She’s being a tad calmer than Will (which is easy enough, even compared to Will on his happiest days), but is also put-out that Emma can’t cope with two kids at once.

After all, Nic manages no bother …

I wonder if George will get his wish to move in with Will and Nic?

Ambridge Extra Thursday 14th April 2011: Round Four (and much better, I reckon)

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Not taking it all back, but …
• Kenton in a pink leotard
• Pretty Polly?
• “Point your beak that way”
• Spencer stretching for Pip?
• Keira had a bit of a cob-on
• Chris sounds like Jamie
• Jamie stole vodka
• “Don’t do a Paula Radcliffe”
• What’s this Chas and Alice situation?
• Chris is annoyed
• Jamie’s a good boy really?

Not taking it all back, but …

I’m still not entirely convinced that the secret microphones are in the right place during Ambridge Extra, but thought today was a lot better.

Maybe it’s because it was slightly more to do with the older of the youngsters (Chris, Ed and Alice) – didn’t have thumping club music – and had a fun run in it.

That’s more Ambridge!

I am still confused about the timespan of what we’re eavesdropping into (seemingly these sessions covers a longer period than our average Archers) – doesn’t make for easy switching between this and Ambridge proper.

Anyhoo. We’ve moved up for a C (did you understand any of the exam questions) to a B minus (trying harder, but not quite there yet).


Kenton in a pink leotard

Oh dear.

Kirsty’s Ostrich costume sounded tame in comparison – but the difference was that she didn’t want to wear it for the Fun Run, whereas Kenton was quite buzzing to be in his.

[Kenton] “This is meant to be a fun run. Where’s your sense of fun?”

Pretty Polly?

(sorry – far too obvious, I know)

The girl that Jamie met the other night was called Polly. She was the mate of the lassie who Daniel was taking out, and took Jamie along to make it a double. Date.

Fallon was winding up Jamie, but he did seem to quite like Polly. They haven’t arranged to meet up again, but they’ve chatted online (which is good as meeting face-to-face, for these wee whippersnappers!).

Wonder if Polly will stick around Jamie for a bit and make him a slightly less moody chap?



“Point your beak that way”

Which is what Kenton said to Kirsty when she said she couldn’t see to tell him and Alice who was standing next to Pip (!).

I think I agree with Kirsty. That sounds like an awful costumer to have to run in.


Spencer stretching for Pip?

It was that bloke Spencer who was next to Pip.

He was seemingly doing very “wide leg stretches”, which Kenton reckoned was his way of trying to impress Pip.

But, Spencer did win the fun run, so maybe not.

A bit odd that Spencer’s brother Steve (who is one of Jamie’s mates) was taking the Michael out of the Fun Run, but didn’t say anything about or to his brother?

Can’t imagine is was busy enough for him to not have spotted Spencer.


Keira had a bit of a cob-on

She sounds more and more like her uncles Will each day!


Chris sounds like Jamie

In the sense that he was being incredibly mono-syllabic with Alice.

What’s his problem?


Jamie stole vodka

Oh what a silly wee laddie.

Jolene and Fallon are hardly going to be chuffed with him. And it was only to impress his moronic mates.

Tonight, they took the Michael out of the Fun Run – the Michael out of Jamie over his date (along the lines of ‘did you just hold hands’) – called Daniel “a geek” (but didn’t have the balls to do it to his face) – chucked Daniel’s bag into the bushes while he was off running – and called Jamie ‘a girl’ for wanting to wait to see Fallon finish the Fun Run,

What silly little boys indeed.


“Don’t do a Paula Radcliffe”

What an odd thing for Jamie to shout at the folks taking part in the Fun Run.

Is she still ‘current’?



What’s this Chas and Alice situation?

It’s all quite suspicious.

Chas called Alice almost immediately after she’d left their flat at Uni for home.

And now Alice is calling Chas.

Are they just being matey?

I’m not convinced that Chas is really just interested in being ‘there’ for Alice while she and Chris have problems – just as I’m not totally convinced nothing happened between them when she was drunk.

And now they’re meeting up for lunch in Stratford.

[Chas] “Come on. Put down your books and your piny and let me put a smile on your face”

Hmmm.


Chris is annoyed

Despite telling Alice that he was fine about the Facebook video, Chris admits to Ed that he is actually quite put-out by it.

He sprains his ankle during the Fun Run (which is Alice’s fault for making him do it in the first place), which gives Ed time to have a chat with him.

Telling Ed about the video:

[Chris] “She said she was drunk, and his hands were all over her … now I’m starting to wonder what else she’s been up to”

Sounds like Chris is trying to believe nothing has happened, but the doubt is there.

But Ed reckons they’re the perfect couple, and Chris shouldn’t worry.

[Ed] “I know what it’s like when somebody’s made for you. It might get rough, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing that’s going to change that … I know about this stuff, I’ve got the scars to prove it”

Chris takes Ed’s advice on-board, later joking with Alice that he should rest up his foot, take the day off of work, and lie down on the sofa while Alice feeds him beer.

But … Alice does everything she can to persuade Chris that he should go to work. And that she needs to study.

Oh dearie me. That’s not the truth, is it Alice? Aren’t you popping off to Stratford?


Jamie’s a good boy really?

After Steve and Marty have left (to go to the pavilion to drink vodka – classy!), Jamie retrieves Daniels’ bag from the bushes.

Daniel catches him doing so, and (in a straight forward Daniel way) thanks Jamie, but also expresses his concern that Jamie’s acquaintances might not be very suitable for Jamie.

[Jamie] “Those two losers. Why do you even hang about with those idiots?”

Why indeed?

Jamie seems desperate to impress them, even asking Daniel not to say that he got his bag back for him.

Underneath that idiotic teenage façade is a nice young chap staring out.

The Archers Wednesday 13th April 2011: Fallon translates Jamie

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Elizabeth really worried about Caroline and Shula?
• Jolene’s come up smelling of mints
• Kathy’s reduced to begging for glimpses of Jamie
• “I can’t really get angry with her”
• Jolene passes Kathy onto Fallon
• Daniel’s Bombshell!
• Is Jamie just lonely?
• Elizabeth’s birthday

Elizabeth really worried about Caroline and Shula?

I can’t quite tell.

If you take Elizabeth at face value, she is concerned that her decision to poach Roy from Caroline will make things awkward between Caroline and Shula (who are good mates).

But, knowing Elizabeth, it’s likely to just be Elizabeth being worried for Elizabeth. Somehow.

[Elizabeth] “She was very nice to me, in a measured sort of way … I don’t want to cause trouble between you two”

After Shula has had lunch with Caroline, she met up again with Elizabeth – so, again, seemed keen to know if she had created problems. But maybe it’s more about her wanting to know if Caroline is stomping about, wanting to tear Elizabeth a new one?

On hearing that Caroline might not replace Roy – choosing instead to rejig everyone’s work, taking on more work herself as part of that:

[Elizabeth] “Oh no. Then I really would feel dreadful”

Hmmm.

Just because Caroline is a measured, calm, rationale woman who has been quite polite to Elizabeth, doesn’t mean that Elizabeth did the right or fair thing in taking Roy.

She’s not just looked a gift horse in the mouth – she’s stared it down, had a feel of its rump and road tested it for a few weeks before consenting to (so generously) take it.


Jolene’s come up smelling of mints

Jolene’s outside The Bull ‘collecting glasses’ and smelling of mints.

Fallon sees right through that.

Jolene’s been smoking.

But what can anyone expect? Quitting wasn’t Jolene’s idea, this time round. A smoker doesn’t become an ex-smoker through being told to quit. It has to come from them.

(and I do declare my interest – I am a smoker. I am an adult. It’s a nasty habit. That I inflict on only myself. Well aware of the health risks. But no chance of me quitting until I want to)

Jolene claims she only took a “few drags” off of someone else. Which I think is worse than smoking your own (get thee down the shop!).

[Fallon] “And you’re wearing patches already, you must be high as a kite!”

Ah! There’s speaks someone coming up against true nicotine addiction …



Kathy’s reduced to begging for glimpses of Jamie

Even the most anti-Kathy amongst up must feel some pity for her at the moment. Surely?

She hasn’t heard anything from Jamie since she agreed to let him work, and has to ask Jolene and Fallon if she can pop into The Bull just to glimpse him.

Worse still, Jolene doesn’t want to have to deal with Kathy. She reckons she’s “run out of things to say”.

[Jolene] “I can’t do it. I can’t cope with Kathy. Not without a cigarette ..”

Poor Kathy. Son hates her, and the woman he’s staying with can’t be bothered with her.

Which shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s only Kathy’s men that Jolene’s interested in …



“I can’t really get angry with her”

Caroline and Shula are having lunch at Grey Gables.

Caroline’s had a tough week, and is keeping out of Roy’s way. She needs to get her head round the situation, and thinks Roy’s embarrassed.

So – is Caroline really okay with Elizabeth?

[Caroline] “It’s just a bit galling that’s all. I can’t really get angry with her, not with the situation she’s in”

Sounds to me like Caroline is absolutely seething, but she won’t let herself be truly angry as it wouldn’t be the done thing to do.

Tick, trick, time bomb …

Shula offers to be Caroline shipping boy instead (as she knew about Elizabeth’s poaching, but didn’t really feel she could tell Caroline).

But Caroline’s doesn’t take her offer. She’s being very reasonable again, and I don’t suppose there’s much fun in whipping a Saint …



Jolene passes Kathy onto Fallon

As much as I am glad that Jolene is no longer moping and moaning round the place, I must say that I think she’s being a bit of a b*tch when it comes to Kathy.

She might just be doing it to not have to acknowledge that it is very odd that she keeps ‘taking’ Kathy’s menfolk – but she’s being rather insensitive to an already wounded Kathy.

Kathy pops into The Bull, but Jolene won’t actually let her see Jamie. Jolene reckons he’s too busy working, and she wants him to stay ‘focused’.

Eh?

He was only in the kitchen, probably doing the dishes.

I don’t see Jolene maintaining her focus when Kenton’s around …

She then, quite blatantly, passes Kathy off onto Fallon. Mumbling something about Fallon having had “her moments” as a teen, s would be better placed to talk through why Jamie isn’t responding to Kathy.

Give Kathy a break, Jolene!



Daniel’s Bombshell!

What what what???

When Shula mentioned to Caroline that Daniel had “dropped a bombshell”, I had all sorts running through my head.

Had he converted? Come out?? Decided he hated horses???

No.

Nothing exciting at all, unless you’re Shula.

[Shula] “It’s not that terrible, just awkward … he’s decided he might like to be a lawyer”

I was then thinking that maybe there was a problem that Daniel wanted to take after his father (Mark) rather than his step-father (Alistair) … but Shula made it all clear.

Apart from Daniel’s only interest in law before now was watching Boston Legal, he needs to go on work experience for school. Which is when he said he wanted to try work experience in something to do with law. And the nearest place that has something to do with law is Usha’s place of work. Which was also Mark’s work.

Aha!

Here we go again – Shula Vs Usha, round 984022

[Shula] “She’s got nothing against Daniel. I’m the stumbling block”

I was the same as Caroline, in thinking that Shula and Usha had somewhat patched things up over Nigel’s death (well, not really patched up – more of an ‘able to walk down the same street, albeit on the opposites side of the road).

Seems not.

Shula was worried about having to go and ask Usha to take Daniel for work experience, as it’d be her having to ask Usha a favour.

But clever Caroline – make the boy do it himself! That’s what work experience is for.

(also – didn’t Shula still lend her donkey to Alan for certain services? A favour for a favour?)


Is Jamie just lonely?

Fallon is really rather good in trying to explain what Jamie might be feeling to Kathy.

Assuming she’s read Jamie right – she reckons Jamie’s attitude towards Kathy is in part him lashing out at her because he can’t lash out at Sid (for being dead) – and that he feels abandoned, lonely and not understood.

Fallon’s also been there with her dad, Wayne.

[Fallon] “I realised how angry I’d been that he’d given up on me so easily … how he’d abandoned me … even though he was getting nothing in return”

So – Fallon’s advice is for Kathy to not give up on Jamie, and (basically) keep taking his abuse and constant rejection. If she walked away, it’d make him even worse.

[Kathy] “So, I mustn’t try too hard, but I mustn’t stop trying either …I just miss him so much”
That’s all a bit poop for Kathy. But then again, life is often quite poop for parents.

And at least Fallon has promised not to ignore Kathy’s texts, and to keep her posted about all things Jamie.


Elizabeth’s birthday

It’s Elizabeth’s birthday soon.

Jill mentioned the other day that she’s worried about Elizabeth not wanting to do anything – but Elizabeth doesn’t want to celebrate.

As Elizabeth said – what’s there to celebrate?

[Elizabeth] “ … a life without Nigel???”

Shula persuades Elizabeth that she does need to do something, if only for the kids.

So Elizabeth agrees to “do something nice” with them – maybe take them out for the day.

Nothing’s been simple since Nigel died.

The Archers Tuesday 12th April 2011: Caroline and Jill ... bitchy!

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Elizabeth says she feels bad about Caroline (twice)
• Kenton can do no right by Jill
• Low energy grass
• Peregrines just changed their view
• Lynda has bad news for Jill
• Surely non-gardeners need to ask more questions?
• “You must feel I repaid your kindness very badly”

Elizabeth says she feels bad about Caroline (twice)

But it’s all a bit hollow, considering she’s going ahead with poaching Roy anyhoo.

Talking to Jill about how Roy has to give a month’s notice, Jill’s a bit worried that having to wait until May will leave Elizabeth with too much on her hands during Easter.

[Elizabeth] “He can hardly leave Caroline in the lurch”

*Lynda-type-sniff*

Cheek of the woman!

It doesn’t really matter when Roy leaves Grey Gables – he’s still leaving Caroline in a tricky position.

I’m not saying Roy is to blame – why shouldn’t he take the chance of a better job – but Elizabeth really is a selfish madam.

She could have hired a new manager, but no. She has to poach the member of staff that Caroline had loaned to her in her hour of need.

So Elizabeth saying that she feels bad about Caroline doesn’t really mean much. Even though she did say it twice.



Kenton can do no right by Jill

Whereas Jill gives every excuse to Elizabeth, she really has nothing good to say about Kenton.

With a mum like that, Kenton has no need for enemies.

Jill’s not impressed that Kenton is taking Jolene to Monte Carlo over Easter.

[Jill] “So thoughtless. Typical Kenton.”

[Elizabeth] “You’re being very hard on him … He choose Easter deliberately”

Where Jill sees Kenton only doing his best to make trouble for everyone else (by taking Jolene away over a busy time at The Bull), Elizabeth reasons that he did it on purpose. Easter was a time when Sid and Jolene went all out – so Jolene will be sad to remember that Sid’s not there anymore (to wear the bunny suit, amongst other things).

Jill seems determined to believe that Kenton will just end up hurting Jolene.

She’s not even impressed by Kenton encouraging Jolene to quit smoking.

[Jill] “Let’s hope that lasts, even if their relationship doesn’t”

Meow!

(I’m not very impressed with Kenton over the smoking *draws a deep drag on my cigarette*)


Low energy grass

Is what Brookfield has, due to the severe winter. It’s resulting in a low milk yield.

As Ruth announces the statistics, David gets very defensive.

But she isn’t blaming him. She was just saying.



Peregrines just changed their view

Lynda’s chirpy, as she’s found the Peregrines. They’d just moved to on another part of the church roof.

Hopefully that will mean a safer spot for their eggs.

Unless there was a human hand in their previous eggs’ demise (???).



Lynda has bad news for Jill

She can’t help with the catering for Gardeners’ Question Time.

Expecting Jill to be quite put out, Lynda’s irritated that Jill is actually quite glad of one less catering bod.

[Jill] “Far too many cooks, who are certainly in danger of spoiling the broth”

Even Lynda revealing that the reason she can’t cater is that because she’s been included in a “feature on lawns” by Gardeners’ Question Time doesn’t get a rise pout of Jill.

She really couldn’t give a hoot.

But questions for Gardeners’ Question Time are another matter …



Surely non-gardeners need to ask more questions?

[Lynda] “These non-gardeners, I hope they aren’t any questions. That wouldn’t be fair”

Eh?

Seems those who consider themselves ‘gardeners’ are against ‘non-gardeners’ getting a look in at Gardeners’ Question time.

And it would seem that ‘gardeners’ also won’t share what their question is, in case anyone steals it.

Or is it just Jill being precious, in refusing to tell Lynda?

(Jill was very odd today. Very odd indeed).


“You must feel I repaid your kindness very badly”

No sh*t Sherlock!

Elizabeth is at least big enough to apologise to Caroline in person.

She’s also lucky that Caroline is quite “gracious” towards her.

[Caroline] “We’re both business women. We can be professional about this”

But, while letting Elizabeth off of the hook, Caroline turns her fury onto Lynda. Who arrives with the coffee, which is late, so gets a telling off. Even though it’s not Lynda’s job to serve coffee.

Oh dear Caroline. You really don’t want to talk to Lynda like that, and make her so sniffy …

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 12th April 2011: Move the hidden Microphones (please)

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Chris is distant
• Jamie got lost on the stairs?
• Chas is strange
• Daniel gets a lady for Jamie
• Steve lends money

In a break from my usual Archers blogging, I’m forced to squeeze everything about today’s Ambridge extra into one wee posting.

And that’s simply because I’m really (really!) struggling to say anything about today’s eavesdropping episode.

So:

First off – was today Sunday? Jamie came down the stairs to tell Fallon Kathy had said yes to him working. So is Ambridge Extra two days behind? Over a few days? Or did Jamie get lost on the stairs???

Odd.

Chris collects Alice from Uni to go back home for three weeks. He’s quite distant, she’s nervously chatting away and she’s keen to get Chris away from Chas (before Chas mentions anything about them sharing a bed when Alice was blootered). At home. Alice cooks a nice meal and suggests a bit of ‘budge-nudge’, but Chris isn’t interested. He wants to go to the pub to meet Roy.

Alice reckons that Kenton and Jolene is a bit hard on Kathy:

[Alice] “But what about Kathy? That’s the second time Jolene’s done that to her … I mean you’d never trust anyone ever again”

Daniel invites Jamie along on a double date. Jamie’s skint, so borrows off of Steve. Steve then gets Jamie to try and steal him some booze from The Bull. Jamie tries, but is caught by Fallon (though she doesn’t realise he was trying to steal).

Chas fancies Alice, I reckon.

And that’s that.

(badly don’t want to be like a BBC message board angry … but really think someone needs to be better at placing those hidden microphones …)