The Archers Sunday 5th June 2011: Shula returns to St Stephens

• Shula gives Strength
• Alan’s Apt
• Susan’s got Scones
• Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?
• South Borchester Puppy Show 2011
• Puppy walkers
• Christine in gossipy mood
• Caroline’s in the dog house
• What makes a good ‘un?
• No! Not Oliver’s new hat!
• The Church is the answer?

Shula gives Strength

Shula did accompany Jill to St Stephens, and seems to have made a world of difference to our rather tired Jill.

Alan seemed to be trying to temp Shula back to St Stephens by saying she looked lovely.

And Shula seemed to be quite happy.

Whether Shula does return to St Stephens or not, she helped Jill to miss Phil less, and also gave her strength during a rather tense time with her family.


Alan’s Apt

Which we do come to expect of Alan. Always the right word, phrase, sentiment, feeling, at the right time.

During the service, Alan’s prayer was on forgiveness (not much of that going round Jill’s side of the Archers clan at the moment).


Susan’s got Scones

And earlier on offered to bring Shula more Clingfilm for the Puppy Show.

She’s in charge of the scones and cream, and seems to be kept so busy that she doesn’t utter a peep the whole Puppy Show.



Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?

I suppose not. Must be more of an anniversary of when they were born, for the folks that knew them that are still of this world.

Anyhoo, it’s Nigel’s birthday on Wednesday.

[Jill] “Oh, will there never be an end of this, Shula?”

I don’t think so. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Sundays, Tuesdays, favourite brand of crisps … this will go on and on.

Jill is worried that Elizabeth is going off on a day course, on Historic House, with Roy on Nigel’s birthday.

Better to be busy?


South Borchester Puppy Show 2011

Jill and Phil might have disagreed about hunting, but all folks love a nice puppy.

Especially when there are mountains of sandwiches to be had.

Sarnies and Puppies.

Perfect.


Puppy walkers

I also didn’t realise this, but the hunt dogs are kept by folks in their homes when they’re puppies, before they’re old enough to join the hunt.

And those folks are called puppy walkers.

That’s superb!

I’d be one myself, if I didn’t already foster racing greyhounds as they’re retired from track (to how them what a house is, not to be scared of the hoover, and how to enjoy their retirement. Brief shout-out for the charity I foster for: http://www.dgrescue.org.uk/)


Christine in gossipy mood

Christine’s at the Puppy Show with Freddie and Lily.

She slights that Mandy Beevesbrough (sp?) has to dye her hair red now.

And she then starts joking.

Yes – joking!

At her time of life … well, I never.

[Christine] “The definition of hock is the financial condition of most horse owners …”

And then she started telling Seymour, the huntsman’s, joke:

[Christine] “There was this stud groom who had too much to drink …”

… but the secret microphone moves on elsewhere before we can hear the punch line.

Naughty, on oh so many levels.



Caroline’s in the dog house

(which I know is a bad joke, but she said it first)

[Oliver] “So, where exactly are you, my sweet?”

Don’t let the “my sweet” fool you. Oliver is absolutely fuming that Caroline has missed the start (and most of the rest) of the Puppy Show.

[Oliver] “ …you just slink in , after I started my speech when I couldn’t say anything!”

Caroline had staff issues at Grey Gables, which couldn’t be helped, really.

But Oliver’s not a happy chappy.

He even made ‘text’ sound like a major affront.

(Caroline had the audacity to send him one, rather than turning up in time).

[Oliver] “The point is, I felt completely humiliated, everyone was wondering where you were”

Oops.

Retirement soon for Caroline?



What makes a good ‘un?

Seemingly puppy Cheerful looks a good ‘un (according to Christine).

[Christine] “Nice sloping shoulders, and a good length neck, and his stern’s not too curly”

No! Not Oliver’s new hat!

Oliver’s hat blew off as he was making the opening announcements at the Puppy Show.

It was okay, as Molly Button managed to retrieve it (much to Lily’s annoyance, and, I imagine, all of the wee hounds in training).

But, it was a new hat. Especially bought for the Puppy Show.

Poor Oliver. Even the small pleasures in life seem to go a bit astray.


The Church is the answer?

Alan would certainly be the right person to try and broker a peace between Elizabeth and David,

Jill certainly wishes that Elizabeth and David had the church to fall back on.

[Jill] “Just to give them that time out to reflect on it all … look outside themselves for a moment … it might help Elizabeth to forgive David, and for David to …”

[Alan] “ … forgive himself …”

[Jill] “Exactly, he can’t let it go”

The Archers Friday 3rd June 2011: Kate sits down to “talk sensibly”

• Phoebe’s birthday bound to be a farce?
• Abbie’s not an artistic type?
• Hayley has a blonde moment
• Open Farm Sunday will be at Home Farm
• Grumpy bees
• Kate tries to be an adult
• Cakes and rifts
• Shula’s comeback to St. Stephens?

Phoebe’s birthday bound to be a farce?

It’s Phoebe’s 13th birthday at the end of this month.

So, Roy and Hayley are busy planning. Village Hall, DJ, ‘bouncers’ to stop any cider being sneaked in (the bouncers will probably be a rotation of dads).


Abbie’s not an artistic type?

Roy and Hayley were being nice parents, and praising Abbie’s clay modelling efforts.

But both had to ask what it was she had just made for them (turned out to be cakes and tea).

Not to worry Abbie. You’re only 3. Plenty of time to find your calling.


Hayley has a blonde moment

[Hayley] “Lynda saw an Ostrich in the Forest of Dean”

On Roy saying ‘you what?’

[Hayley] “No … Goshawk … .knew there was on o in it somewhere”

Bless.


Open Farm Sunday will be at Home Farm

Phew.

That kept me awake all night, worrying.

And David is also very relieved.

Though he feels like he should be doing it – especially as he is President of the NFU – but needs must.

[David] “Well it will be easier working as normal instead of trying to entertain the masses”

Wonder how the Aldridge’s will cope with the masses … probably first time they’ve come into close contact with ‘them’. Though, of course, there is the Carter side of their family.


Grumpy bees

[Jill] “They’re still quite grumpy in the third hive, I hope I don’t have to end up re-queening”

Anyone who’s read this blog will know that I love a bit of bee action.

Lovely to hear Jill talking about them, and that Josh is still interested and helping.

Marvellous.


Kate tries to be an adult

Earlier on, Hayley had been talking about Phoebe.

[Hayley] “She’s still got such a grump on about South Africa”

Considering it was Kate that caused all of the problem in the first place by promising Phoebe that she could live with her in South Africa, it’s only right that Kate tries to sort it out.

Very surprisingly, and quite out of character for Kate, she actually tries to do just that.

Kate doesn’t get off to a good start. She arrives at Roy and Hayley’s unannounced, when Roy is sat around in socks with holes in them.

[Kate] “Don’t worry Roy, I’ve seen you in much worse states, haven’t I?”

You could feel Hayley’s hackles go up at that one.

But down to business.

[Kate] “She (Phoebe) seems so unhappy”

[Hayley] “Well, she is getting tugged backwards and forwards rather a lot at the moment”

Kate explains that Phoebe’s heart is set on going to South Africa to live for a bit. Roy reckons it’s just what Phoebe “thinks she wants”. But Kate insists they still need to:

[Kate] “talk sensibly and calmly”

(blimey!)

Kate explains that “mum and dad” (Brian and Jennifer) will be paying for Phoebe’s flights. (wonder if they know about that). Roy explains he doesn’t want to lose Phoebe for a whole year. Hayley reckons Phoebe is too young to be making that sort of move. Kate thinks it’s an amazing opportunity at the right time for Phoebe (before she starts exams and such), and that Roy and Hayley need to think about it properly, “for Phoebe’s sake”.

When Kate leaves, Hayley starts on a ‘the nerve of her’ rant, but Roy isn’t so sure that Late doesn’t have a good point about this being an amazing opportunity for Phoebe.

[Roy] “What if we’re being selfish?”

But, Hayley seems to be thinking with heart not head.

[Hayley] “They’re both my daughters (Abbie and Phoebe), just the same, and I can’t bear to see her go for so long”

Roy reckons they’ve all got to compromise. Which is a point well made.

BUT – isn’t the real problem that Phoebe going to South Africa means that Kate will be looking after her?

Would any of us trust the care of a child (or anyone, of any age) to Kate?


Cakes and rifts

Shula and Jill are having a chat about the twins.

Seemingly Freddie was “enormously enthusiastic” about making cakes with Jill – to the point where Jill is still finding bits of ingredients around the kitchen – and Lily made a good Victoria sponge.

Shula reckoned that Freddie and Lily going to see Brookfield’s new puppy Tigg was a small step forward for Elizabeth and David, but Jill thinks not.

[Jill] “ …Roy took them … there was no change in her (Elizabeth) own attitude. If anything, she and David seemed to be accepting that it was a permanent rift”

Poor Jill. What a horrific situation for a mum.



Shula’s comeback to St. Stephens?

During times of difficulty, Jill could normally find solace in St. Stephens

[Jill] “And no matter how hot and busy life is outside, or cold and miserable, I’ve nearly always found great comfort there”

In a very poignant and moving speech, Jill explains that she can go to St. Stephens, sit quietly, and let go of her troubles. After which, she’d often find that she found a solution to her problems.

[Jill] “And very often, I’ve been filled with a certainty, a real sense of God being with me … that’s when I’d see if he had time to take notice of my little troubles. He always did”

But, not last week.

[Jill] “No, all I could think about was David and Elizabeth and this terrible row … I sat and prayed after the service. I couldn’t see any way forward. None at all. I felt so helpless”

So Jill wants Shula to come with her to St. Stephens this week. Even though Shula still hasn’t resolved her issue with Alan, Usha and ‘that’ statue …

[Jill] “I don’t want to be all on my own again”

Goodness. Phil is still very much missed.

The Archers Thursday 2nd June 2011: Open Farm Sunday cliff-hanger

• Jennifer’s a crafty player
• “Have your strawberries got a vicious streak?”
• Supermarkets – a positive news story?
• Gisela “pulling the homesick stunt again”
• Does Jennifer have cravings?
• Kate likes the jade pendant
• “Paddocks of Desire”
• Not sure if I can wait until tomorrow …

Jennifer’s a crafty player

She sells every punnet of strawberry at the farmer’s market – then manages to get Jazzer into emptying out her van for her.

Sometimes easy to forget that Jennifer isn’t just the straight-man to Brian’s wheeler dealings.



“Have your strawberries got a vicious streak?”

Jazzer ends up emptying Jennifer’s van as he’s too distracted trying to get Zofia’s telephone number from Jennifer.

He reckons Zofia was about to give it to him anyway at the Sticky Wicket, before Harry interrupted them. Jazzer tells Jennifer that Zofia looks lonely, so he just wants to help.

[Jazzer] “You know me, always wanting to extend the hand of friendship”

Jennifer won’t give it to him (employee confidentiality), and also won’t let him go into the polytunnel to see Zofia.

[Jazzer] “Have your strawberries got a vicious streak?”

So, in return for all his effort, all Jazzer gets is a list of dates of when there will be Picker socials. And a loose promise from Adam that he’ll be invited to the next one.

Methinks Jazzer will have to be a lot more crafty if he wants to beat Harry to the chase.


Supermarkets – a positive news story?

Penny Marsh seems to think so.

Penny is Matt’s ‘insider’ at the Council – and meets with Brian and Annabelle to substantiate Matt’s claim that there’s more “sugar” to be had from the Council, if they get an early push on with the new Mart.

It seems that at least two supermarkets want the site – and Penny reckons the councils want them to be in on the site as soon as possible. It would (seemingly) be a terrific boost for the Council.

Hmmm.

I can see how making money out of a Supermarket buying a site is a boost. I can also see that a new supermarket creates more jobs, gets more folks in to the area (and so on), BUT don’t most communities fight against new supermarkets?

Death of local high streets. More traffic. Environmental impact (etc).

Either way, Brian still isn’t convinced that this is all real. It sounds like a great deal for him and his fellow directors, but it would involve having to move all of their plans forward – so more of a risk.

[Brian] “ … a golden opportunity for BMD or being bounced into something nasty by Matt?”

Gisela “pulling the homesick stunt again”

According to Adam.

Gisela is one of Home Farm’s pickers, and she wants to sue the office Skype to call home.

Adam reckons she just wants to chat to her boyfriend back home, but Jennifer is a bit more sympathetic (which is why Adam is probably asking Jennifer to speak to Gisela instead of tackling her himself).

Seems that Gisela has a bit of a dodgy boyfriend, who she literally needs an eye kept on to stop wandering.

Doubt a Skype call will achieve that …



Does Jennifer have cravings?

Jennifer is 66, so surely not.

Maybe the “seriously hot” Jalapeno Salsa was just a wee fancy of hers.

Though she is right to be a bit embarrassed that it wasn’t homemade. She has quite a reputation to up when it comes to culinary delights.



Kate likes the jade pendant

Even to the point where she thought it was the best present Brian had ever got for Jennifer.

If it hadn’t also gone down well with other folks (excluding Lilian, of course), I’d be sure it was naff, if only based on Kate’s approval.

Anyhoo – I didn’t quite understand what Jennifer meant when she said she gets Jade and Coral this year. I know it’s just been her and Brian’s 35th, and she was 66 in January – but what else is special about this year? She made mention of December. Is it just that she’s excited about what her Christmas present could be, considering Brian’s doing so well with his presents so far?


“Paddocks of Desire”

Would be a “ridiculous title” for a book, according to Jennifer.

Interesting that she hasn’t read past page 5 of Mistress of the Paddocks.

Talking to Adam about it, Jennifer claims that she thought it had been a good idea

[Jennifer] “ …local author … rural themes … much less daunting. For all Jim’s carping, it’s attracted at least one new member”

So while Jennifer seems to have not read it, it’s got Pat into the Book Club. I never took Pat as a romance fiction fan.

I can't track it down anywhere – but can we assume that Mistress of the Paddocks is one of Jennifer’s?


Not sure if I can wait until tomorrow …

… to find out about whether Brian will agree to Home Farm doing Open Farm Sunday in place of Brookfield.

Adam wants to. Jennifer’s also keen.

There was even mention of Tom’s burger van.

But Brian is oddly negative and cautious at the moment.

[Adam, to Bran] “ … open farm Sunday, yes or no?”

Blimey. The tension is awful!

Ambridge Extra Thursday 2nd June 2011: Jamie needs new mates

(which we all know, but he might listen to Natalie saying it as well)

• Pip goes to see Elizabeth
• Fallon’s in a huff?
• A smashing time was had by all
• Does Marty have a deeply sinister side?
• “Shut up Steve!”
• Shame Jamie doesn’t have cojones like Natalie
• Mrs Parker
• Chas is no match for Lesley

Pip goes to see Elizabeth

And gets a warm welcome. Elizabeth is happy to see her, and is going to arrange for her to work at The Orangery during the Summer.

But, Elizabeth isn’t as receptive to Pip trying to talk about David.

Pip tells Elizabeth how upset David is, and

[Pip] “Isn’t it bad enough, what happened to Uncle Nigel … there’s no point in us being angry with each other … can’t we just be a family again?”

[Elizabeth] “I can’t forgive give him … I lost my husband, doesn’t that count for anything thing?”

Elizabeth tells Pip that she is “immensely fond” of her. But, that what’s happened with David is between her and David.

Wonderfully reasonable is Elizabeth, yet again (!). She’s the adult, yet she can’t see what position she’s putting Pip in. And how she (Elizabeth) is making Pip’s home life rather hellish.

But at least Pip has a rather spiffing new man in her life.

[Pip] “She really hates him … she looks so hurt”

[Spencer] “Just try not worry … I’m here, you’ve got me now”

(still can’t quite believe Spencer and Steve are actually brothers).


Fallon’s in a huff?

Fallon isn’t returning Kirsty’s calls.

Nic has told Kirsty that she saw Fallon looking at her phone when it rang, and turning it to silent.

So she is avoiding Kirsty, after Kirsty and Rhys made a bit of a fool of her at the party (by pretending they were engaged).

I’d feel a bit embarrassed if I was Fallon, and a bit annoyed my mates couldn’t have told me that I’d been too eager to try and push them together. But Falling out with them?

Probably not. Unless I little else that living vicariously through other people’s relationships …


A smashing time was had by all

Jamie bumps Natalie (and her two mates) who are waiting for him in the pub, to go with Steve and Marty to smash an old warehouse’s windows.

Brilliant decision making there, Jamie.

They have a jolly old time, until they hear a dog barking – assume it’s security – so leg it. In the process of which, Jamie cuts his hand.



Does Marty have a deeply sinister side?

When he discovers a female dummy in the warehouse, his first reaction is to burn her.

That’s a bit worrying.


“Shut up Steve!”

I like that young lady, Natalie.

Not sure what she sees in Jamie (in his current guise – I still reckon he’s a nice enough chap underneath it all), but she at least sees Steve and Marty for the morons they are. And isn’t scared of telling them.


Shame Jamie doesn’t have cojones like Natalie

Natalie’s bumped into Jamie as he, Steve and Marty are running away from the warehouse security (though they actually could just be running away from an angry Pekingese, out for its evening walk).

She notices Jamie’s cut hand, and tries to see if he is okay. But Steve won’t have it. Natalie wanting to be sure that Jamie isn’t badly hurt is somehow offensive to Steve;

[Steve] “We hang together, just tell her, or you going to let yourself be whipped by a girl?”

[Jamie, to Natalie] “No, look, get off! I’m not your baby, alright .. .what is it with girls, you don’t own me!”

[Steve] “Did you hear the man? He’s standing tall with his boys”

So, once again, Jamie chooses his mates over a girl. Which would be fair enough, if his mates were actually worth anything.

For whatever reason, Natalie is still speaking to Jamie the next day. He tries to explain that he didn’t mean anything that he said (but he did say it), and she tells him that she doesn’t like him when he’s round his mates.

[Jamie] “I only said those things cause Steve and Marty was there”

What a wuss!

As well as pointing out that Jamie turns onto a muppet when he’s round Steve and Marty, Natalie also thinks Jamie needs to put his exams first.

[Natalie] “ …decent grades or Steve and Marty? … it’s more important than looking good in front of them”

Wonder if there are enough anti-moronic-mates feeling around to help Jamie actually tell Steve and Marty where to go? Kathy, Jolene, Fallon, Rhys, and now Natalie, are all saying that Jamie needs to crack on with what’s important, rather than be ‘cool’ for his pals.


Mrs Parker

Mrs Parker is Jackie Parker’s mum.

Jackie went missing from Alice’s Uni.

And it’s all Chas’ fault. He lent Jackie money, and been harassing her ever since. She chose to disappear rather than have to cope with him anymore.

Jackie’s disappearance has dropped Chas right in it (he now can’t pay back his financier, brother-in-law Vince), so Chas is desperate to find her.

Which involves calling her parents, and pretending he’s a friend in an attempt to tease Jackie’s address of her (rather upset) mum.

First time round, Mrs Parker doesn’t want to tell Chas where Jackie is, but sounded like that was because her husband had told her not to say anything to anyone.

But, Mrs Parker has mistaken Chas for someone she can trust. So calls him back, to tell him that Jackie is at a friend’s in Newcastle.

[Mrs Parker] “I just someone to tell her we love her”

[Chas] “But don’t worry … I’ll find your daughter”

Oops. Jackie better keep running. Unless she also has a meathead brother.


Chas is no match for Lesley

Chas is back trying to hassle Reggie – but interesting that he calls him rather than go round and play the big man in person. Not after Chas had the run in with Reggie’s brother Lesley, and lost.

[Chas] “You haven’t got your meathead brother to answer for you now”

Nae luck Chas! It is “the meathead” who has answered the phone.

[Lesley] “If you go anywhere near my little brother, I’ve got a few ways of settling things myself, understand me son?”

So Chas has to back off again.

Methinks Reggie might not be paying back Chas any money anytime soon. If at all.

The Archers Wednesday 1st June 2011: Tigg arrives at Brookfield

• Why no memory stick?
• “The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”
• Of course Jessica has perked up!
• Get a puppy – problem solved
• The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy
• Open Farm at Home Farm?

Why no memory stick?

A presenter, doing a presentation at Lower Loxley, is panicking in case his laptop fails him. So Roy has another one lined up for him.

Any presenter worth his salt surely takes another copy of their presentation on a memory stick?

Planning, people. Planning.


“The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”

So says Elizabeth. So Roy takes good care of them.


Of course Jessica has perked up!

It would be sometimes easy to think that Elizabeth is just a bit dim.

She seems surprised Jessica is happier since was told that the Falconry wasn’t closing.

But – it’s not being Elizabeth dim – she’s just being her usual self-centred self.

She has no idea that her making a decision can impact on someone else. And that some folks actually depend on their jobs to earn a living.

Silly moo.

But at least Roy got a nice moment.

[Roy] “When Jessica hugs you, you stay hugged”

Get a puppy – problem solved!

David sounded so happy with Tigg.

In fact, that’s the happiest David has sounded since Nigel died.

Tigg is short for Tigger, as they reckon he “bounces all over the place”.

And he also listens. David was already getting him to respond to some basic commands.

Right. So we leave David in a room with Tigg for a few months, and problems solved?



The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy

According to Freddie.

He’s miffed that he thought he was going to Brookfield to see Tigg.

But Elizabeth takes them to waterworld instead.

They take ages to get there (bad traffic), and they have to leave early as it’s too busy, and Freddie is still in a grump.

Or at least, Lily reckons that Freddie spoiled it for everyone.

Roy offers to take Freddie over to Brookfield, Elizabeth doesn’t sound keen, but eventually relents

(during their conversation, Lily was playing up a bit:

[Lily] “Does anybody care that I’m starving?

“Oh dear, I’ve just fainted. Nevermind …”)

And Lily doesn’t want to with Roy and Freddie to Brookfield. She reckon she’s had enough of Freddie’s company already …



Open Farm at Home Farm?

David pops over to Brian’s. He has the ulterior motive of trying to persuade Brian to take on Open Farm Sunday, instead of Brookfield.

After chatting about mice hiding in combines, the initial signals from Brian aren’t good. He thinks David is asking for his usual help at Brookfield for Open Farm Sunday – namely taking machinery over

[Brian] “So the great unwashed can see what a real combine is like”

And when David eventually asks him outright:

[Brian] “You’re must mo0re trusting than I am … you’re happy to have all and sundry clamouring around your farm, working out the best way to come back and pinch your diesel or nick a tractor”

David reassures that it isn’t all that bad.

Nobody steals anything (if they’re marshalled), it means cash in the pocket from folks signing up to buy meat (and such direct), it creates goodwill and educates, and there’s also good PR to be had.

Brian still seems unconvinced. Seemingly the venison virtually sells itself.

But, actually, the fishing lake numbers are down this year … so Brian is at least going to ask Adam …

Yup.

You heard it.

Brian has to ask Adam about a Home Farm decision.

He said himself it was going to take time to get used to – but how very odd that Adam is now taking over the reins, bit by bit.

The Archers Tuesday 31st May 2011: An Archer back in The Bull?

• Matt is precious about his delphiniums
• Jonti moved in
• “There’s far too much romantic tripe around”
• Penny Marsh! tut, tut
• Kenton and Jolene exploring the fleshpots of Borchester
• No Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?
• Kenton might move his toothbrush in

Matt is precious about his delphiniums

Brian arrives early for a meeting with Matt, to find him gardening.

Not sure why Brian was surprised (and though Matt’s gardener was off sick) – doesn’t everyone know that Matt discovered a passionate for horticulture when he was in prison?

And boy, is he particular about his garden. His gardener seemingly does not impress him:

[Matt] “the lawn would better is he was (off sick), he practically scalped it yesterday. I’m not trusting him to stake the delphiniums”

(on seeing Brian’s surprise at Matt’s gardening knowledge:

[Matt] “I picked up a bit when her majesty insisted on giving me bed and breakfast, it passed the time”

Matt says he appreciates the “discipline” of gardening. It helps him keep his end in order.


Jonti moved in

To No.3

But we didn’t get to hear it. Or him.

Matt hasn’t really got much to say about him either:

[Matt] “Well, he hasn’t got two heads or a saxophone”

Can No.3 be heard at the Dower House? Or does Matt actually care for no.3’s neighbours.


“There’s far too much romantic tripe around”

So says Brian.

(I never saw tripe as being romantic. Each to their own, I suppose).

He’s complaining that Jazzer and Harry have been calling (separately) to speak to Zofia (as she’s picking fruit at Home Farm).

Wonder who will buy her a mobile phone first?


Penny Marsh! tut, tut

Matt reveals his source at the Council – it’s Penny Marsh, who is on the development subcommittee.

How terrible of Ms Marsh.

(and I have never heard of Penny Marsh before but she sounds like a bad public servant)

Matt’s arranging a meeting with Penny Marsh and Brian (and Annabelle):

[Matt] “The BMD team want to tap her on the head, to see if she rings true”

Kenton and Jolene exploring the fleshpots of Borchester

They have a day off together, so are in the car about to head to Borchester.

But, Kenton isn’t on best form.

He’s having a stressful time at Lower Loxley (Elizabeth crazy angry), with him mum (Jill is very upset) and David (not wanting to even be around him).

[Kenton] “It’s like we’re never going to be able to move on. Remember Nigel properly”

So, Jolene spots that he’s not a happy chappy, and takes him back inside to slob around (her words).

[Jolene] “Haven’t we got passed having to entertain each other?”

Oh no.

That’s not good.

It’s surely not time already for them to not make an effort anymore? To not be pretty, or even pretty smelling, for each other?

Slippery slope. Once you stop brushing your hair, the bed death will set in shortly …


No Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?

David still isn’t looking forward to Open Farm Sunday.

[David] “It’s just pretending to be jolly for the visitors”

Pip reckons they actually don’t have to do it. They could try and pass it onto another farm.

Will the world be the same without a Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?


Kenton might move his toothbrush in

And his underwear. His records. His dodgy shirts (which I always imagine he wears).

Jolene has asked Kenton to move in with her (and Fallon, actually) at The Bull.

[Kenton] “I’d love to. This … being with you … it feels like home. It’s where I want to be”

Yay! And Jolene knows what she’s getting into. She would seemingly love to try putting up with him.

But wait … there’s an Elizabeth shaped brick wall in the way.

Kenton wants to move in, but he can’t leave Elizabeth with all of the David fall-out happening.

Boooo.

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 31st May 2011: Chris buys a van

• Alice is doing Chas’ shopping
• Spencer, a nice lad indeed, part 684
• “We’re your crew”
• Chris will be his own boss
• Alice not keen to leave Chas?
• We all think it about some older folks driving …
• What does “such a Tony, sometimes” mean?

Alice is doing Chas’ shopping

I wonder if he’s ever gone out of his way to help her?

It is for Alice as well. And is mainly junk food to help them revise (I think they’ll find that a carrot or two would help more than junk … or so I’m told).

So Alice has got them crisps, chocolate, love hearts …

… love hearts?

Is Alice actually (very subtly) flirting with Chas, which means it isn’t just all in his head?




Spencer, a nice lad indeed, part 684

Spencer is fast becoming one of the nicest young men to have ever been in Ambridge.

Today, he was consoling Biff (the Brookfield sheepdog) about the new puppy soon arriving, and reassuring Biff that he’ll always be his favourite.

And then he makes (and takes) a lot of effort to get Pip to talk about him. She’s got exam stress, and a rather difficult atmosphere at home.

[Pip] “It’s not exactly been much fun around here … Dad’s doing his usual when upset, doesn’t talk and just works even longer … Mum gets snappy, she’s still furious with Aunty Elizabeth”

He does manage to get her to take a break. And get her to talk.

Spencer’s response to the woeful tale of David revealing the ‘truth’ to Elizabeth:

[Spencer] “I’m sure he didn’t mean him to fall”

Pip’s sad that David’s efforts to “put things right” has backfired so badly, and also misses Elizabeth.

[Pip] “She was so supportive, she never judged … she was more of a friend”

But now, she’s too scared to even go and see her. And she does need to see her soon, if she wants a summer job at Lower Loxley.


“We’re your crew”

(I know I should stop making such a big fuss about the street language Jamie and his mates use – but it does grate ever so. They’re a bunch of village boys, for mighty sake!)

[Marty] “Since when did you become such a swat?”

[Steve] “Jamie, stop being a div, get out here!”

They’re persuaded Jamie (yet again) to stop studying, and go out to play … sorry, ‘hang …



Chris will be his own boss

Chris calls Alice to tell her that he’s bought his van – only 24,000 on the clock – so all he has to do now is convert it for farriering.

AND, his boss has said that he will:

[Chris] “definitely get first dibs”

Alice is just as excited, but Chas is not impressed.

He sounded quite perturbed that Chris had already spent the money Chas loaned him – one can only assume that Chas was thinking of trying to get it back to pay his own ever mounting debts.

And our Alice-that-isn’t-acting-like-Alice didn’t pick up that Chas was grumpy when she told him about the van. She even failed to notice that one if his first responses was reminding her that the first payment is due Wednesday.

Would love to see Chris miss a payment, then Chas trying to bully Chris.

Chris has always seemed to be a strapping young man, and he had rather heavy tools to hand …


Alice not keen to leave Chas?

Alice didn’t seem too enthralled when Chris mentioned that she only has 2 weeks left on Uni.

It could be that she has exams to first get through.

Could be that she’ll miss the student life (although she is then off to study at Felpersham).

Could be that she’s enjoyed the freedom of living single, but being married.

Could be that she’s realising that, as Chris has sorted the next 50 years of his life (by buying the van), she’s heading home to properly be settled down,

Or, doesn’t she want to leave Chas?


We all think it about some older folks driving …

… but we don’t peep out horn and shout at them.

It’s as inevitable as taking over one slow lorry to find another one ten minutes later. Better to just relax, and make sure you leave a bit earlier in case there are slow drivers, lorries, cyclists, tractors …

But, Jamie’s ‘crew’ reckon it’s jolly good spot to harass old men.

Nice.

They also start calling Jamie a wuss again.

[Steve] “Look, Jamie, we’re you’re crew, we’ve got your back, you know that, but when you start acting all strange and that, we get nervous, we’ve got to know you’re solid”

[Jamie] “Yes, I’m solid, alright!”

So Steve and Marty decide to make him prove it.

If anyone has got a better idea of what they were actually doing at the bridge – it sounded something like having to walk under it? – let me know, as I couldn’t picture it.

But they ‘dare’ him to do it (whatever ‘it’ was), and surprisingly also do ‘it; themselves. I thought they were setting him up.



What does “such a Tony, sometimes” mean?

Alice said it to Paulie when he was taking the Michael.

What does it mean?

Tony Blair? Hancock? Benn? Bennett? Adam? Hawk? Blackburn?

Or is it Toni? Or a girl’s name?

Of something completely different???

I have no ken …

The Archers Monday 30th May 2011: Single Wicket 2011

• Molly Button has a sister
• “Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”
• A tense final (for Susan)
• The new Book Club book is “a Roistering rural romance”
• Jazzer, lost in translation?
• Chris isn’t patronising

Molly Button has a sister

Called Tilly, who also sounds like a bit of a live ‘un.

She went missing at the Single Wicket, to be found sat in a tent “quietly” reading.

Tilly then later seemed to be throwing things at Jazzer.

Good to know there’s be a few choice females for Ben to choose from when he grows up.



“Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”

It did seem that most Ambridge residents weren’t at the Single Wicket (or at least were staying quiet).

And of those, most weren’t too bothered about being there:

[Susan – on Chris and Neil making the final] “Didn’t think I’d be stuck here, watching all afternoon”

[Jazzer, on cricket] “Occupational therapy for posh Neds”

A tense final (for Susan)

Alistair went out in the first round (to someone called Barry – who is seemingly “insufferable” – but was then knocked out by Chris, so balance was restored).

Neil put Harry out, even though Kenton reckoned Harry was “on fire”, and Susan was being a tad negative about Neil’s chances.

[Susan] “Your father looks beaten already”

But she has little faith.

Neil does make it to the final – as does Chris.

So it’s an all-Carter end to the Sticky Wicket.



The new Book Club book is “a roistering rural romance”

So Jennifer has chosen Mistress of the Paddocks by Carinthia Heart.

(a book which I can’t as existing beyond Ambridge – or am I being thick?)

It’s even got Emma reading:

[Susan] “As soon as Emma saw it was a roistering rural roman, she grabbed it off me”

Jazzer, lost in translation?

Jazzer’s only at the cricket to try and pull the Polish woman (who is part of Adam's Picking team) with the “long chestnut hair”.

And at least she now has a name – Zofia.

[Jazzer] “Is this patch of grass taken, or is there room for a handsome man next to you?”

He also tried to crash the Pickers’ barbeque to try and get close to Zofia, but Adam chucked him out.

[Jazzer] “I’m guessing there’s a lot more to ya than strawberry picking”

Jazzer then starts to ramble on about whether Zofia likes art, music, massage …

And, hearing Zofia has split from her boyfriend (who is now back in Poland), Jazzer thinks it’s a good tactic to get very personal,

[Jazzer] “Bit of a bother in the bedroom department, eh?”

At which point, Harry interrupts.

(he speaks again!)

Harry thinks Jazzer’s banter is a tad inappropriate.

[Zofia] “It’s alright. I do not understand what he says”

It seems Harry also has an eye for Zofia as well. Jazzer reckons he’s well in, but Harry seems to have had a gentle chat with Zofia

[Harry] “So why did she ask me afterwards if English was your first language?”
Jazzer then challenges Harry to Zofia – which appals Harry as it’s hardly the way that modern, enlightened men should act. That belongs to a previous age, he reckons.

[Jazzer] “Are we going by the calendar or your dress sense?”

But ho hum. Looks like it’s another farcical ‘game on’.


Chris isn’t patronising

So, Chris won the Single Wicket.

Susan is a bit irritated that he didn’t let Neil win

[Susan] “Well you’ll have plenty of chances again, but you know how much it meant to your father”

She reckons Neil’s been taking such a ribbing recently that he’s too old to play cricket, he needed to win to bolster himself and prove to all else that he still has ‘it’.

[Chris to Neil] “There’s no way I’d patronise you like that … I heard you telling me to catch it”

[Neil] “The only thing better than winning myself, is seeing my son do it”

Aw. Sweet.

Though Neil did still claim half of the trophy. He reckons that’s so, because he taught Chris has to play cricket in the first place ...

The Archers Sunday 29th May 2011: If Shula can still be friends with Caroline …

… why can’t Elizabeth be as humane?

• “Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”
• New sheep dog for Brookfield
• David bumps Shula
• “Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”
• Who left the gate open?
• Shula and Caroline
• No appetite for Open Farm Sunday
• At least Jill has the grandkids
• A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine
• “Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”
• First half century of the season

“Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”

Was what the announcer said before today’s eavesdropping episode.

Must let him open the early sherry for the live Sunday experience …


New sheep dog for Brookfield

And David’s at pains to make sure Josh (and Ben) know it’s not a pet.



David bumps Shula

Shula seems to be having no luck with her siblings at the moment.

She clip-clops up to Josh and David, but David moves her on quick sharp (with the excuse that he and Josh need to do some halter training).

But Shula seems to be an oasis of calm while the rest of her family fall apart.

I suppose she’s been there, done that.



“Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”

AND he’s got a brand new panama hat.

Must be marvellous being Oliver, sometimes.


Who left the gate open?

That’s bad country code, that is.

Though, it’s just as bad country code to shut a gate you find open. The farmer could have left it that way on purpose.

Leave it as you find it …



Shula and Caroline

Obviously Caroline and Shula have many years between Mark’s death, but they are living proof of how friendship (and rationality) can rise above blame.

Shula often finds herself thinking about how Mark will never get older, and Caroline often thinks of Guy.

Neither are unhappy with their current chaps, but can’t help sometimes pondering what could have been.

[Shula] “That’s what’s so frustrating with Elizabeth … I understand so much of what she’s going through”

No appetite for Open Farm Sunday

Crickey.

David is indeed in a bad way.



At least Jill has the grandkids

Shula was telling Caroline that Jill is beyond distressed with the state of affairs between David and Elizabeth.

But Jill does take solace in her various grandchildren getting on so well.

Bodes well for the future.

But, then again, there’s plenty time for rivalries and fall-outs.


A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine

Good news for Elizabeth, and proves Lewis’ worth (the sale came from the free samples he was giving away at the gallery).



“Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”

Aye, so you are, Elizabeth.

She’s talking about the Falconry.

She was checking to see what Lewis thought she should do. Whether Roy was right that they should try at least another year.

[Lewis] “There’s no point in hiring Roy if you don’t trust his judgement on something like this”

Lewis has also looked at Roy’s figures, and reckons he’s right.

At which, Elizabeth is relieved. She’d actually already told Jessica that she could stay, after she saw her flying Hector.

[Elizabeth] “Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”

Hmmm.

Not so the case with how Elizabeth is dealing with David’s revelations.

And also not the case when it comes to Freddie wanting to go and visit Brookfield’s new puppy (doesn’t sound like she’s going to let him).



First half century of the season

By Alistair.

Well done, that man.

The Archers Friday 27th May 2011: Elizabeth threatens Shula

• Lilian has no ken for flowers
• A mention of the brooch
• Jonti Waters
• Lilian patronises Jennifer
• Brian’s bought a bad present
• More sugar from the Council?
• “Whit is always frantic”
• Jennifer stops for Peregrines
• Porn for the Book Club?
• Shula was right to be nervous of Elizabeth

Lilian has no ken for flowers

[Lilian to Jennifer] “I know I say it every time, but your tubs do look lovely”

Though Lilian can appreciate a nice set of tubs, she can’t tell the difference between an azalea and a marigold.

Ach well. Those good at gardening need those who aren’t to simply be appreciative.


A mention of the brooch

Lilian asks Jennifer whether she’s seen Peggy’s (seemingly lovely) duck egg blue brooch.

It’s a harbinger of doom, I tell you ….


Jonti Waters

Is a “computer chap” (Jennifer)/IT whiz kid (Lilian) who is in a rush to move into No. 3.

His rush has spoilt some of Lilian’s plans for decorating No. 3:

[Lilian] “If Jonti doesn’t like pebble white while he’s showering, then tough luck”

Never mind.

Hurrah to new fodder.


Lilian patronises Jennifer

Lilian was waiting for Brian, so passing the time with Jennifer more than anything else.

When Brian does show up (he was up checking the hinds – only one or two left to calf), Lilian wants shot of Jennifer:

[Lilian to Jennifer] “ … only a little bit of business … you’d only be bored”

My oh my – Lilian is getting more and more like Matt. Cheeky mare.


Brian’s bought a bad present

He doesn’t seem so sure the pendant he’s got for Jennifer is actually up to the mark – and Lilian certainly doesn’t approve.

Seemingly Lilian doesn’t like Jade.

Don't give her the brooch!!!!


More sugar from the Council?

Lilian was meeting with Brian to tell him that her ‘source’ reckons that two major supermarkets are interested in the current mart site.

So – there might be an opportunity for Brian, Lilian and co. to get a better deal from the Council if they can get out of the old site early. Though that would mean having to get the new site up and running far earlier than planned.

[Lilian] “Brian, you can always close a deal if you make it sweet enough”

[Brian] “Oh now, where have I heard that before”

Brian doesn’t sound convinced. He doesn’t think the information is remotely good enough to even discuss with the rest of the board.

[Brian] “There’s no point in wasting their time based on fairy stores … the faint echo of half a rumour”

Lilian reckons she can go back to her ‘source’ for more tangible evidence:

[Brian] “Don’t bother. I’m make time to meet Matt myself”

1-0 Brian I reckon!


“Whit is always frantic”

For Shula.

[Shula] “lots of eager parents and nervous first timers”

Jennifer stops for Peregrines

Jennifer is very taken with the Peregrines after she spotted them earlier on that day.

She’s was getting quite poetic about seeing the male:

[Lilian] “He? You must have had very good eyesight”

Jennifer, slightly exasperated, explains that the female stays with the chicks while the male heads out hunting.

[Lilian] “Jenny, Jenny, I don’t care if the male saunters into Underwoods Deli for a tray of mixed antipasti and some honey roast ham, I’m simply not interested”

Oh.

Bit harsh from Lilian, but maybe Jennifer should have found a more enlightened soul to explore the wonders of nature with. Lilian’s strictly a G&T connoisseur.


Porn for the Book Club?

Probably not.

But that Lilian showed an interested in it, liked the cover, and reckons it is:

[Lilian] “racy for Ambridge”

Say something.

But it is Jennifer that’s chosen it. So likely to be a wee bit edgy without being offensive.

Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers?



Shula was right to be nervous of Elizabeth

Shula’s round seeing Elizabeth at Lower Loxley. Shula sounded very unsure of herself, making small talk and complimenting Elizabeth’s new hair-do (which seems to be popular with all).

Eventually, Shula gets down to it.

[Shula] “So, you’re coping alright?”

[Elizabeth] “Did David ask you to come over … or mum?”

Shula explains that she was there on her own account, as she’s worried.

[Shula] “We simply can’t leave matters as they stand … you’re asking the rest of us to takes sides … that’s what it amounts to”

Elizabeth launches into another rant.

[Elizabeth] “All I want is for you and mum and Kenton and Pip and whoever else feels they know what’s best for me, to accept once and for all that I am choosing to have nothing to do with David ever again … that’s all, it’s very simple … and it doesn’t affect the rest of you … why can’t you respect my decision?”

[Shula] “Because he’s your bother, Elizabeth”

[Elizabeth] “Exactly, my brother, someone I should be able to trust, someone who shouldn’t lie to me … I’ve been more than fair to him”

Elizabeth reckons that she could have been more furious when David just after Nigel died, but had decided that both of them had got “caught up in the moment”, so both and neither were to blame.

But now, after David telling her it was his idea, she’s taking it to extremes. The other day, she reckoned David had “goaded” Nigel, today:

[Elizabeth] “he dared Nigel onto the roof!”

[Shula] “He’s been tormenting himself”

[Elizabeth] “Good”

[Shula … sounding a bit terrified now … says the following very gently and tentatively] “When David suggested to go onto the roof, Nigel could have said no …”

Which spins Elizabeth into overdrive rant mode:

[Elizabeth] “Stop it Shula!

“I am so sick of my whole family trying to blame Nigel for what happened

“… and I know why you’re doing it, to make dear precious David feel better about his unforgiveable behaviour

“… I’m not going to let you get away with it, Nigel can’t defend himself anymore, but I can and I will

“Shula, you’re my sister and I love you very dearly, but if dare say one more word about this, one single word, we are finished.”

Blimey.

Elizabeth is one very angry lady right now, and she obviously doesn’t give a hoot who she offends, or loses.
Amazing that she can say all of that to Shula, knowing what she (and Caroline) went through when Mark died.

But then again, there is no-one else in Elizabeth’s world apart from Elizabeth (very occasionally the twins).

The Archers Thursday 26th May 2011: Jazzer and Adam return!

(not that either have been anywhere in particular – just nice they’re near the hidden microphones again)

• “The Garden Festival is being wrinkly”
• Adam and Brian gossiping over the lambs
• Welcome back Jazzer!
• Weddings, Edible Fats and Quakers
• Jazzer’s belter of an idea
• Birds get more photo coverage

“The Garden Festival is being wrinkly”

So says Roy.

But not to worry. Elizabeth reckons she’s “back in gear” now.

Which sounds true enough – but it also sounds like she’s micromanaging again.

Ah well. Roy had to find out what he’s really got himself into, sooner or later.


Adam and Brian gossiping over the lambs

Nice to hear Adam back. And that he and Brian still sound like two washer women when they get together over the lambs (washer women with home county accents and without swearing).

Ruairi’s been showing the new pickers round the farm (and there’s still the chance he’ll end up at Boarding school)

[Brian] “he’s a very level headed young man, is Ruairi”

It’s seemingly Jennifer’s turn to choose the Book Club. She wants her choice to be better than Lynda’s (of Cranford), and Brian has a pop at Susan for persisting to go to the Book Club:

[Brian – taking the Michael] “we must do something to impress the in-laws!”

Neil has been practising hard for the Sticky Wicket.

March lambers have had a great spring – but not so much so “up north”

Ah. The gentle murmurings of Adam and Brian. Nice.


Welcome back Jazzer!

I was starting to worry that Rhys was warming up to be Ambridge’s classic-one-liner chap, but Jazzer roars up on his … well, whatever he was driving today that sounded rather unwell.

[Jazzer] “I’m here to do you guys a wee favour”

Oh aye … what’s he after this time?


Weddings, Edible Fats and Quakers

The forthcoming bookings at Lower Loxley include one green wedding – one normal wedding – 2 days with the Edible fats folks – and the Regional Quakers for a day.

Roy asks what the Quakers are like:

[Elizabeth] “Much quieter than the Methodists”

Jazzer’s belter of an idea

As he explains to Brian and Adam, Jazzer’s idea came to him when he was in the pub with Harry (who he? Long, long time since we heard from Harry).

[Brian] “It’s not a hair brained scheme then. It’s based on proper scientific research …”

[Jazzer] “They kept to themselves the whole time. They didn’t speak to any of the locals. The one time I did go over the guys just circled round like Rottweilers”

[Adam] “ … you’re saying you didn’t meet any of the Hungarian or Polish girls … ”

Jazzer reckons his idea is not just about the girls, although he did spot one particular young lady he might like to be acquainted with:

[Jazzer] “Long Chestnut hair, fantastic legs, and a smile you could warm your hands on …”

So – Jazzer’s belter is that locals should be invited to the socials Home Farm organises for their pickers. Just to be sure they all feel welcome …

Brian and Adam don’t quite seem to believe that Jazzer’s intentions are purely altruistic:

[Brian] “Well see you Jazzer, if the UN doesn’t poach you first …”

[Adam] “I think the pickers are probably quite capable themselves of deciding how much they want to integrate”

Never mind Jazzer.

Where’s there’s a pretty lady, Jazzer will find a way …



Birds get more photo coverage

Hayley slightly dropped Roy in it by mentioning that he had ideas for the Falconry, before had had a chance to talk to Elizabeth about it himself.

Elizabeth sounded a bit put out at first.

But, as she and Roy take a stroll round the Falconry, she seems to warm to at least listen.

Roy’s done his homework good and proper(ly). He points out that birds get more media coverage (regardless of what the event is actually about). That he reckons they can fix some of the Falconry completely with their own material and staff – the rest for about £600. And that he can work on all the promotion, including updating the website, and putting signs up around the state (“I’ve got my eye on you” with a hawk – sounds a bit terrifying!).

He pushes to give the Falconry a year’s reprieve, which Elizabeth will ponder.

Of course, Roy has to be careful to not push Elizabeth too far into making changes that Nigel wouldn’t have made, but he also sees that there’s are ways to improve.

Seems Elizabeth thinks the same:

[Elizabeth] “Never be afraid to make suggestions Roy …even if it feels like sometimes you’re criticising the way things were done before .. I’m trying to draw a line under the past … everything that’s important to me … they’re all here. I’m determined to make Lower Loxley a successful as it possible can be. It’s more or less my whole world now”

Fine.

But if I was Roy, my boss telling me that my place of employment was ‘their world’ would cause one or two alarm bells to start tinkling.

Ambridge Extra Thursday 26th May 2011: Jamie’s a thief with a conscience

• Wigging out
• Kirsty and Rhys are engaged
• Neither a lender not a borrower
• Spencer is definitely marriage material
• Nice present for a fish
• Alice is still oblivious

Wigging out

Jamie’s pondering a bracelet that he’d like to buy for Natalie.

Marty is not impressed.

[Marty] “I reckon Steve had it spot on … you, you’ve gone soft … didn’t know you were going to turn into a girl as well … look at you, wigging out over some jewellery”

(the Urban dictionary reckons ‘wigged out’ is: Being devoid of reality, To lose sense of normalcy, An out of body experience. To act crazy as a reaction. To briefly flirt with lunacy)

With a heckler hardly being conducive to choosing a present for one’s girlfriend, Jamie’s ready to give up trying to find something. Any anyway, the jewellery is too expensive.

At which point Marty becomes interested again. He wants Jamie to steal it.

[Marty] “What’s the big? You’ll prove that you’re solid. Don’t you want to prove to Steve that he’s wrong .. .stop being a wuss, just swipe it”

So he does.


Kirsty and Rhys are engaged

Well, not really.

It was all just a ruse to wind Fallon up – to get her back for being so adamant that Kirsty and Rhys should date.

Kirsty started off that she also “can’t believe it could be like this”, which made Fallon over the moon.

(Though, when Fallon was checking that all was okay in the bedroom department, she sounded like she was about to ask what exactly does go on in the bedroom department … has Jolene not had ‘that’ talk with Fallon yet?)

Then, during the party that they were at, Rhys and Fallon stopped the music – and made the announcement that they were engaged.

Kirsty keeps laying it on thick. That it was all because of Fallon. That it was her idea.

[Kirsty] “Put preconceptions aside, and just jump straight in”

Fallon starts to sound a bit horrified at the (very loving) monster she’s created. She baulks at Kirsty asking her to be chief bridesmaid.

But Rhys and Kirsty don’t let her stew for long. They tell her the truth, and they all have a good laugh about it.

[Kirsty] “This is about the first thing we’re enjoyed doing together!”

[Rhys] “Put down your bow and arrow!”

Hmm. Very odd behaviour from Fallon, but at least we’re met Rhys properly.

Neither a lender not a borrower

Chas is in a bad way.

He’s now trying to get the folks he’s lent money to (and been harassing ever since with his rather pathetic big man routine) to pay him more back earlier.

Actually. He doesn’t ask. He begs.


Spencer is definitely marriage material

Spencer tells Kirsty that he’s worried about Pip.

He’s starting to think she’s starting to lose interest in him.

Kirsty tells him about the whole David/Elizabeth situation.

Later, he gently tells Pip that he knows. And that he’d totally understand if she needed to spend more time with her family. Also, that’s he’s there for her to talk to.

Bless him indeed. Keep a hold of this one, Pip.


Nice present for a fish

As Marty gets hassled by a goose, Jamie can’t tackle down his sense of guilt over stealing the bracelet.

[Jamie] “It just doesn’t feel right”

He feels bad about stealing it. And worse at the thought of giving Natalie a birthday present that he’s stolen.

So, he chucks it in the river.

[Marty] “What did you do that for? What’s Steve going to say? He’s going to think you’re a right loser now … he’s right, you have gone weird”

Probably would have been better to have taken the bracelet back to the shop, but at least Jamie’s taken another step in the right direction.

Tell the moronic thugs to get lost, young Mr Perks. Go on.


Alice is still oblivious

Chas is in a foul mood.

Alice puts it down to exam stress, and starts wittering on about going on holiday once she’s finished the Uni term. Even thinks of South Africa …

[Chas - shouting] “And I thought you needed to buy a van … I’m glad to see you’re putting my money to good use!”

He later apologies.

[Chas] “I need you, Alice. I’d go stark staring mad if I fell out with you on top of everything else … We need to get through these last few weeks together”

What an odious little creep.

Worse still – where has our Alice gone? She’s an Aldridge, for goodness sake. She should have the second site when it comes to tricksters …

The Archers Wednesday 25th May 2011: Cranford at The Book Club

• On a Wednesday?
• Robert’s wrestling with a cane backed rocker
• Cranford doesn’t seem to be popular
• The Snells are consummate hosts
• Yat Rock for Lynda’s birthday
• No pints and banter for David
• Susan was Cleopatra in a Balloon Debate
• Jennifer Vs Susan
• Do they just need their dad?
• I’d forgotten about Caroline and Mark

On a Wednesday?

I thought the Boob Club was a Friday.

Damn.

I have read Cranford, but it was many many moons ago. Not sure I’d be able to contribute to the discussion properly …



Robert’s wrestling with a cane backed rocker

Which makes him lose the thread of what Lynda’s saying to (well, at) him.

He’s confused between the Book Club tonight, and Lynda arranging the committee for the Britain in Bloom effort.

Ach well. Better to just nod, Robert.


Cranford doesn’t seem to be popular

Judging by the lack of participants in tonight’s Book Club.

Joe wasn’t there:

[Robert] “Mrs Gaskell’s not quite his cup of tea, or words to that effect”

Robert himself doesn’t sit in on the chat (preferring to serve food and drinks):

[Robert] I’m afraid I find Cranford a little underwhelming … not enough unexplained corpses in the pantry for my liking”

Usha and Jim also couldn’t make it.




The Snells are consummate hosts

Despite guests arriving slightly early for the Book Club:

[Lynda] “Oh,. Not already I haven’t even stoned the olives”

AND Robert somehow surviving with his manhood intact, after telling Lynda to plump the cushions and tidy her hair (I’ll have to have a very long ponder on how that on earth he got away with that).
Robert is composed and generous as he greets the few that have made it along:

[Robert] “Let me take your cloaks and bonnets”

(Well done, that man)

To top it all, as part of their nibbles, they even have blue cornmeal homemade tortilla chips.

Blimey!



Yat Rock for Lynda’s birthday

So they can do a spot of bird watching. Yat Rock also her peregrines nesting.

Wonder if Lynda will find a Lychgate to hide behind.


No pints and banter for David

Kenton unsuccessfully tried to get David to take time away from work, to nip down to The Bull for a couple.

He might have managed it, if he hadn’t mentioned that David can always talk to him. That surely put David right off.

[David] “Talking won’t do anything … I’ve smashed things up for badly with Elizabeth. It can’t be fixed.”

Susan was Cleopatra in a Balloon Debate

Which I thought was Susan being a bit dim again – but it twas I who was being ignorant.

Sorry, Susan.


Jennifer Vs Susan

At the Book Club, Jennifer seemed to dominate – Lynda agreed with Jennifer – Richard was silent (really???) – and Susan was forced to talk by Lynda.

Jennifer quoted Gaskell to illustrate that she felt she found significance in Cranford’s small things.

[Elizabeth Gaskell, Cranford] ''The use made of fragments and small opportunities; . . . [t]hings that many would despise, and actions which it seemed scarcely worthwhile to perform, were all attended to in Cranford.'' 

Whereas Susan reckons Gaskell showed no understanding of retail

Susan seemed to be focused on Miss Matty telling everyone not to buy green tea.

It was her bestseller. It would

[Susan] “have been commercial suicide. That would have been a step too far”

BUT, to stop myself being a snob and sniggering at Susan – I suppose it goes to prove that we all find different meaning in a novel.


Do they just need their dad?

Kenton’s talking to Shula about his failed attempt to get David to the pub, to relax.

[Kenton] “He’s completely adrift. Like the mast has gone”

Shula and Kenton agree that it would have all been different if Phil has still been alive.

Both Elizabeth and David trusted, and talked, to their dad.


I’d forgotten about Caroline and Mark

Shula’s Mark was killed when he swerved to avoid Caroline on her horse (another car had spooked Caroline’s horse – the driver of which was never found).

So, Shula has experience of both her husband dying – and a close friend feeling guilty about the cause of that death.

Shula reckons it must be Elizabeth to tell David that it wasn’t his fault, before he might start to accept it himself. Caroline felt the same guilt as David … if only she hadn’t gone riding …

So, off Shula goes to see if she can persuade Elizabeth to not denounce and demonise David.

[Shula] “You can’t let it destroy your faith or your family … let go of destructive feelings”

You know, I might have a bet in Shula making some headway. She’s quite canny like that.

The Archers Tuesday 24th May 2011: David nearly talks to Oliver

• Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight
• Keira is so surely Will’s child …
• George has got big feet
• Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out
• All’s well at Lower Loxley
• New Johnny Depp film
• Emma’s a bit evil
• Oliver nearly helps David
• Elizabeth is scary

Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight

Cripes! At this time of year?

Not a chance.


Keira is so surely Will’s child …

Ed calls her trouble, Ruth reckons she’s full of mischief.

Add to that the fact that she’s always grumpy.


George has got big feet

But was determined to get a size of too small shoes onto his feet.

No doubts there then about who that wee chap was fathered by (but if I thought George had been trying to save his mum money – the smaller ones were £5 cheaper – I’d have gone back to wondering if he was Ed’s).



Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out

Ed was retelling that Oliver and Caroline had to come back from their trip.

A guest was taken to A&E, but only with “an ankle, or something”.

However, because Lynda flapped, Caroline had to return to take charge.

Wonder if Caroline is starting to think that she has taken too much?

A leaky roof, a trip to A&E … I reckon it’ll take one more incident to send Caroline back to enjoy more free time with Oliver.


All’s well at Lower Loxley

(massive fall-out between Elizabeth and David aside)

Roy hasn’t as yet spotted that Elizabeth has gone off the deep end, so he’s merrily working away at being good at his job.

The ‘Plastic Guy’ has booked rooms for training in July. The Pigeon Fanciers are “perfectly happy and will see us next year”

Patrick even helped Hollerton Primary spot 18 types of bird.

(note the mention of Patrick – the first for a fair while. Wonder if Kirsty will try and force him and Fallon together in revenge?)

But, Roy is on a mission to save the Falconry. He’s been looking at other successful Falconry, and reckons they could make Lower Loxley’s work by getting a better website, have shorter days, make it more family friendly, start selling vouchers.

All great ideas.

But maybe Roy needs to notice that now is not the time to show Elizabeth initiative. It’ll only make her even angrier.


New Johnny Depp film

Is what Elizabeth, Lily and Freddie are off to see at the pictures.

One assumes that’s the new Pirates of the Caribbean.

It’ll take years to get to my wee, hidden neck of the woods.

Score for Ambridge (or more likely Borchester).



Emma’s a bit evil

She firstly can only offer Ed sausage and eggs (seemingly again) for tea.

(and that’s not about it being a ‘wifely’ duty. That’s her job in their household. And anyway, they’re not married)

Then:

[Emma] “Like I said to Will … proper little brother and sister. I don’t kno0w if he heard, but he didn’t say anything”

Evil!

She’s been told, by Susan (who heard it from Clarrie) that Will want another baby.

She should know better than to wind up Will.


Oliver nearly helps David

I’m loving the way Oliver is randomly popping up anywhere and everywhere around Ambridge, as he wanders out of sheer boredom (while Caroline is working).

Today, Oliver is helping David with the silage. And makes a rather astute remark:

[Oliver] “Late Spring when everything got right on top of me”

Not directed at David, it seems a perfectly timed comment. David starts to actually talk about his problems.

[David] “I’m a fat lot of use to anyone … and it’s not just with the NFU, believe me … sometimes I wonder how my family out up with me, I get so much wrong”

[Oliver] “I know how low I got sometimes, I mean, really low”

David starts to tell him what’s happening – but Ed blunders in to take Oliver to see Keira (which was the point of Oliver being in that general direction).

Oliver tells David that he can talk to him, anytime. But David has shut down again.

[David] “Silaging blues, that all. Nothing serious”

Elizabeth is scary

[Elizabeth] “We’ve just agreed, from now on, that they’ll get on with their lives and we’ll get on with ours”

And she’s saying that to her young children.

Yikes. Cold, and harsh.

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 24th May 2011: Chas has a wicked brother-in-law

• Jamie doesn’t use a plate for his bacon sarnie
• Rhys and Kirsty … Game On
• Jamie can spot a softening up when it happens
• Jackie Parker has disappeared
• Frigid kid?
• It’s called Borchester because …
• Pip drinks cinnamon latte
• Steve and Marty on the nick
• Aw. Spencer can even tell when Pip’s upset
• When’s a brother not a brother?

Jamie doesn’t use a plate for his bacon sarnie

And rushes out without a by or leave to Fallon.

Well, I never!


Rhys and Kirsty … Game On

Rhys and Kirsty, after admitting to each other that there is no heart-flutterings between them. Have decided to get their own back on the rather bizarre Fallon (why oh why was she so determined to get them together?).

So looks like the plan is to pretend that Rhys is smitten.

[Rhys] “She’s amazing … I never knew a girl like her … she’s gorgeous, she’s funny, she’s smart … she’s got the most spectacular … There is nothing more riveting than sitting for hours watching a heron waiting for his prey .. .especially if you watch it in a hide … they can be very private places … if you know what I mean … Kirsty Miller has fired arrows straight through my heart”

Rhys later calls Kirsty to tell her he’s hooked Fallon into believing him.

[Rhys] “I can hardly keep my face straight. Touch you!”

(the inference is – as if I would! And Kirsty agrees likewise).

So they reckon it’s “Game on”, wind up Fallon time.


Jamie can spot a softening up when it happens

Jamie is quite perturbed that Jolene has cut his hours back by half, so now he only works a Sunday.

He even noticed Jolene tactics of trying to make it (somehow) less painful with a bacon sandwich.

[Jolene] “She gave me a bacon sandwich to soften me up”

He reckons it’s all Kathy’s fault. So expect a bit more shouting to come …

Problem is – without the cash, how is Jamie going to buy a present for Natalie?

(and I will admit that I really could care less)


Jackie Parker has disappeared

Jackie is the student who owed Chas money. She’s seemingly done a runner.

Alice has heard about it from some of her Uni mates, and tells Chas.

He first just seems angry that he might not see his money.

Then, Chas seemed to be a bit nervous.

Was he starting to feel guilt about the reality of what he does to folks he lends money to? That he causes them stress, worry, does something so horrible to them that they have to run away. In Jackie’s case, she’s run before she could get her degree.

Or, is he more worried about Alice now finding out what he’s been up to?


Frigid kid?

[Marty] “Hey Pip, that’s not a very nice hand gesture”

(Pip has seemingly made a gesture at Steve as he drives by, and makes a bloke-on-a-building-site remark to her)

[Steve] “Is that why you’re going out with my brother then? You don’t like getting interest from a real man.”

[Pip] “No Steve. I’m just not interested in his little brother … get a life”

(Marty starts sniggering)

[Steve] “Shut up Marty. She’s a frigid kid anyway”

What a charmer that Steve is….



It’s called Borchester because …

… it’s boring.

So reckons Marty.

And that’s why I listen to Ambridge Extra. I’ll learning something new every day (!).


Pip drinks cinnamon latte

Oh how young farmers have changed.



Steve and Marty on the nick

While Jamie is off ‘studying’ with Natalie, Steve and Marty steal video games.

How very droll.

Steve reckons Jamie has gone a bit soft for choosing a girl over his mates.

[Steve] “Let Jamie do what he wants. We don’t need him”

Oh, now there’s a happy thought.

If Steve and Marty ‘dump’ Jamie, there might be hope for him after all.


Aw. Spencer can even tell when Pip’s upset

And what’s more, he even cares enough to want her to tell him.

But Pip seems to be an apple fallen close to David’s tree. She won’t tell him.

Ticking time bomb, that whole side of the Archers clan.




When’s a brother not a brother?

When he’s an evil brother-in-law.

Chas in back on the phone to (London) Vince. He has to tell Vince that Jackie has done a runner, so he will be late in paying back the money he loaned from Vince in the first place to loan to Jackie (still with me?).

And the plot thickens.

Vince is a bit perturbed to hear that Chas needs more time to pay him. And mentions that the job he was lining up for Chas in London may not now happen.

Is it a job in the City? As a money collector? A bouncer?

Chas seemingly starts to feel a bit under the cosh.

[Chas] “Please! I’m your brother …”

[Vince] “ … in-law. And how do you think your sister will react when she find out that I’ve lost 16 grand?”

How odd that Chas called his brother-in-law his brother – but odder still that Vince doesn’t seem to give a hoot about his wife’s brother.

Doesn’t seem like quite a nice family at all.

Now Chas has to pay double the interest to Vince, by the end of next week.

And that 16 grand must be the amount Chas loaned to Chris.

Trouble is afoot …

The Archers Monday 23th May 2011: Lynda accosts Jamie from the Lychgate

• “Jamie …psssst”
• Kieran Smith’s dad is bring Josh home
• Jolene and Jamie talk about not a lot for a whole 5 minutes
• “It was a heck of an argument”

“Jamie …psssst”

Jamie hears a voice from inside the Lychgate. Turns up to be Lynda.

[Lynda] “Jamie … pssst … I’m here. Inside the Lychgate”

[Jamie] “Why are you bent down? Have you had an accident?”

Mais non!

Lynda just wanted Jamie to see the Peregrines – who are proud new parents!

Jamie actually seems quite interested, though I suspect it’s got more to do with the blood and gore of the Peregrines feeding another bird to their young, than the cute factor:

[Jamie] “Ah that’s cool .. the way she’s ripping it into pieces”

Kieran Smith’s dad is bring Josh home

But Josh had forgotten about meeting Jill to go to the hive.

Pity. I do enjoy the Jill and Josh Hive Time (and I’m actually not being sarcastic).




“It was a heck of an argument”

Understatement of 2011 (so far) comes from Ruth!

A heck of an argument?

A bruiser of an argument. A earth-shattering, family-breaking, soul-destroying argument. The worst of the worst.

As well as Jill, Ruth has also been trying to tell David it was an accident, and he shouldn’t blame himself.

Ruth is angry with Elizabeth for being so unreasonable with David, but back down when Jill explains:

[Jill] “She’s trying to make sense of a senseless situation”

Ruth does understand, but is also beyond frustrated that this has all happened when David seemed to be settling back into his ‘normal’ life and frame of mind.

[Ruth] “Every now and then., the shadow seemed to lift for a while … for the first time in ages, she had a kick about with the boys …”

Ruth and Jill agree that need to “nip it in the bud” and:

[Jill] “somehow keep the family together”

Phew. Lots and lots and lots of tea and cake required …


Jolene and Jamie talk about not a lot for a whole 5 minutes

Someone must have forgotten to switch over the secret microphone.

Surely they didn’t mean for us to listen in to Jamie and Jolene talking about him having less work at The Bull?

Jolene made Jamie a bacon sarnie to soften him up. Then told him that she doesn’t have as much work for him, for at least a few weeks, until Summer kicks up. So he can’t work a Saturday anymore. And Jamie is a bit put out that he won’t have as much money in his pocket.

No-one screamed or got upset. Jamie seemed to accept that the lady wasn’t for turning.

[Jolene] “Don’t make a big deal of it”

Interesting. It wasn’t that interesting, and no-one actually made a big deal out of it, but the chat seemed to go on for a fair while.

Filling time?

The Archers Sunday 22nd May 2011: Neither Kenton nor Jill can persuade Elizabeth

• How long does it take to fix a waste bin?
• “I should have waited before blundering in”
• Elizabeth threatens Kenton
• Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!
• “Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”
• Ambridge lost at cricket
• Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy
• Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets
• Ambridge … the new Cranford?
• “If David hadn’t goaded …”

How long does it take to fix a waste bin?

Only five minutes, according to Elizabeth.

She’s turning into a bit of a Victorian factory owner, though.

Fancy expecting Aaron (her employee – probably on rock bottom wage) to come in on his day off to fix it.

Almost as if she’s lady of the manor …

[Elizabeth] “I want things running smoothly when I’m off. I won’t be taken advantage of …”

But it’s okay to take advantage of a poor salary monkey? You’ll be first against the wall with that sort of talk, Elizabeth


“I should have waited before blundering in”

Kenton tried to talk to Elizabeth about David, but she was having none of it.

Then launched into an almighty rant:

[Elizabeth] “How do you think it felt? Finding out that David was responsible for what happened. That was dreadful enough, but what I can begin to get over … to admit he’s been lying about it ever since …my own brother, here coming here virtually every day to help out, and saying nothing

“How about having a bit of courage and opening his mouth … to be so deceitful … well damn him!”

[Kenton] “Then be mad with me as well. It’s as much as my fault as his … I mean, it was my idea to put the banner there in the first place”

[Elizabeth] “You didn’t taunt Nigel … you didn’t work beside me … knowing what you’d done, saying absolutely nothing about it”

[Kenton] “I’m sorry. I should have waited before blundering in”

Elizabeth threatens Kenton

After ranting about David, Elizabeth then warns Kenton off trying to even begin mending the rift.

She basically said that he’d better not talk about it again to ensure:

[Elizabeth] “we’re going to be alright in the future”

Hmmm.

Elizabeth could end up with no family if she carries out threats like that.

[Elizabeth] “Just accept I never want anything to do with David again”

She’s only going to make it easy for the rest of the clan to choose sides …


Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!

Neil is very non-plussed about his birthday.

He’s only 54 (by my reckoning), but his cricket mates seem to be taking the Michael that he’s now a bit over the hill.

But Susan is still planning a “few sandwiches and a bit of cake … with almond icing”

Now there’s an offer a birthday boy can’t refuse – no matter what age!

Neil’s also got fire in his belly about the Single Wicket. He reckons he’ll prove himself by winning.

My money is on Jamie.


“Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”

So says Neil.



Ambridge lost at cricket

To Paxley.



Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy

At last – Jolene’s taking Kathy seriously.

Kathy was in The Bull, “not in the best of moods” according to Jolene.

She wasn’t happy that Jamie was still working in The Bull during his exams. Jolene had to explain that Jamie simply hadn’t told her that he’s agreed with Kathy to talk about it.

[Jolene] “She said she felt let down … she’d been counting on my support”

So, Jolene’s going to trim down Jamie’s hours so that Kathy knows she’s taking notice of her wishes.

There ya go Jamie – pincher movement. About time!


Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets

While working with Susan, Clarrie’s let slip about the whole Will wanting to procreate with Nic issue.

[Susan] “ … and she said both her boys are natural fathers … that’s when she let it slip …’our William would love another one’ …”

Whoops.

Susan bided her time before pushing Clarrie on what she’s just said (and tried to ignore she’d just said)

[Neil] “Don’t tell me you actually got on with some work””

[Susan] “Waited a few minutes, until we’d made some headway with fruits of the forest … turns out she (Nic) didn’t like the idea at all … I can’t help it if Clarrie confides in me”

So, Clarrie has told Eddie and Susan when she shouldn’t. Clarrie has now told Neil and Emma (!) when she shouldn’t.

Seemingly Emma was fascinated about the news (I’ll bet!), though Susan reckons that when she said to Clarrie she wouldn’t tell anyone, it didn’t meant she wouldn’t tell family.

And in amongst all of that, Neil can’t get to his pigs for Susan getting in the way.



Ambridge … the new Cranford?

Susan seems to be slowing down in her new found passion about reading.

While she claims that she’s ‘savouring’ Cranford (the next Book Club book), it just sounds like she’s finding it a bit of a bore.

[Clarrie] “Jennifer’s right. It’s a landmark of 19th century literature … all that seems to happen in it is all the women in Cranford get together and spend their time gossiping”

[Neil] “Oh. Nothing like Ambridge then”

“If David hadn’t goaded …”

Jill is having a go at talking to Elizabeth about David.

Elizabeth isn’t having it. But Jill isn’t one for giving up on her family.

[Jill] “Elizabeth, we mustn’t let this tragedy because even worse … what happened to Nigel … there’s no logic or reason to it … there’s non-one to blame either … you mustn’t’ let it break up the family … it’s not about fault .. what happened was a tragic, meaningless accident … that’s the awful truth”

But, Elizabeth reckons that it is squarely David’s fault. He “goaded” Nigel into going up on that roof, and has

[Elizabeth] “destroyed my family”

Jill’s going to have to do more than tea and cake to heal this one …

The Archers Friday 20th may 2011: Now David again blames himself

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Betty’s hen, Ginger
• Ruth must be ever so tired of repeating herself
• Eddie reckons No. 3 is being done “on the cheap”
• Can Jill sort this one?
• When’s Kenton going to come clean?

Betty’s hen, Ginger

Freddie is writing a story for school, about the time Eleanor (Nigel’s bird) escaped, and killed a hen.

Elizabeth remembers that it was Betty Tucker’s hen, Ginger, that Eleanor killed.

Poor Ginger.



Ruth must be ever so tired of repeating herself

David’s suffering badly from Elizabeth telling him to “go to hell” after he told her it was his idea for him and Nigel to go up on that roof.

[David] “I could have prevented it … if I hadn’t suggested it … it wouldn’t have happened”

[Ruth] “You suggested it. You didn't make Nigel do it … it was just one of those terrible things that happened … all those 'if onlys' don’t mean you’re responsible for what happened”

True enough, Ruth. She’s also right that Nigel knew the risks of his own roof, even more so that David.

[Ruth] “It was terrible fluke, a combination of so many things. You can’t take it all on yourself. It’s not fair”

But David’s not listening. He’s making himself busy with farm work, so Ruth is wasting her breath.



Eddie reckons No. 3 is being done “on the cheap”

He’s one to talk!

He reckons the builder Matt is using is known for cutting corners.

He’s also annoyed that the builders have made it impossible to walk on the pavement outside No.3, as it’s full of stuff.

Even someone with a mobility scooter couldn’t get by.

(as if Eddie would normally notice or care!)


Can Jill sort this one?

Ruth tells Jill what happened between David and Elizabeth.

[Ruth] “He made it sound like he was totally to blame – like he’d given Nigel no option”

Jill doesn’t take sides, and tries to get Elizabeth to talk over the phone.

But even wonder-mum Jill can’t get Elizabeth to calm down.

Ruth has another try at soothing/reasoning David:

[Ruth] “David, please. You’ve suffered enough. You’ve got to forgive yourself for what has happened.”

[David] “Elizabeth will never forgive me. So how am I supposed to live with that?”

Time and Jill might change Jill’s mind?

Either way, it’s meant David and Ruth have had to cancel their night out.

Pity.

That only happens once every few years.


When’s Kenton going to come clean?

So David has told (what he sees) as the truth about Nigel’s death, and that it’s his (David’s) fault.

When’s Kenton going to unburden about that knot?

The Archers Thursday 19th May 2011: Elizabeth blames David

click the 'read more' title above, of the link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Roy and Hayley have a new car, but a stroppy Phoebe
• Nightmares about silver trays
• The truth of how Nigel came to die

Roy and Hayley have a new car, but a stroppy Phoebe

As much as Hayley is delighted to be able to drive their brand new car (I’ve yet to have the experience myself – does anyone ever buy new (new) cars these days), even the shiny new bonnet can’t distract her and Roy from the gloom and doom that is Phoebe.

[Hayley] “I didn’t know how long she can keep up being quite so sulky … just assuming she can swan off on Kate’s say so”

So – sounds like Roy and Hayley have put the kibosh on Phoebe and Kate’s plan for Phoebe to go and live in South Africa for a bit.

Roy again reckons she’ll just get over it. Methinks this is either going to be months of a moping Phoebe, or Kate will spirit her away regardless.



Nightmares about silver trays

Elizabeth’s taken a picnic over to David as he works on her pasture.

It’s a fine one, with smoked salmon, salad, meats, cheeses, grapes, bread and raspberry roulade.

Elizabeth and he are talking about how good Roy is for Elizabeth, leading to David feeling okay to tell Elizabeth how stressful he found trying to manage Lower Loxley.

Especially that wedding.

Especially trying to find that bloomin’ silver tray.

[David] “I kept having nightmares about that silver tray”

Then Elizabeth tells David how much he help meant to her. That him being there helped her get out of bed in the morning. Helped her cope.

[Elizabeth] “You’ve been more than just my brother … you’ve been my biggest ally right through”

As they have a bit of a brotherly/sisterly love-in about how much they mean to each other, David obviously reckons it the time to unburden himself of the ‘truth’ …




The truth of how Nigel came to die

David tells Elizabeth that going up on the roof that night was his idea. That, despite Elizabeth telling him and Nigel not to, he wanted to save himself coming back the next day.

[David] “I just know I couldn’t accept your thanks without telling you the truth”

Oh dear.

Elizabeth hears it as David telling her that it was his fault Nigel had died. After all, that is what David himself sometimes thinks …

[Elizabeth] “You …persuaded him to go up on the roof that night …

“It was because of you he went, to save yourself coming back …

“ … Nigel died so you could save yourself a bit of time …

“ I’ve been so angry with him. I blamed him for going up there when it was obviously so dangerous, for leaving us … how could you let me think that David, let Lily and Freddie blame him?

“ … and all the time … how could you have lied to me David, all these months.

“Here you’ve been, Saint David … when all along you know, you knew, you were responsible for my husband’s death … and here I was thanking you ..

“… go to hell David …

“ …don’t you come near me or my children ever again!”

Oh.

That will have put silver trays into perspective ...