The day of the youth cricket match*: Tues 17.07.12

(*apologies to all cricket fans. I'm guaranteed to have got some of the detail wrong!)

The Archers Tuesday 17th July 2012

• Kenton’s aiding and abetting
• Jamie’s being cocky …
• … and is a “champion welly wanger.”
• Rosa REALLY likes Jamie
• That mini bus said it all
• Elizabeth visits David
• Jamie didn’t do well
• Lucy didn’t do well
• Jamie really is a shockingly bad sportsman
• Why can’t women play cricket?

Kenton’s aiding and abetting

Quite literally.

He’s taken a bet off of Jamie for today’s cricket match between Ambridge’s girls (with boys in the team) against St Mags.

Naughty.


Jamie’s being cocky

[Natalie] “Let’s not make out it’s going to be easy … it wouldn’t look great, would it, being beaten by females.”

[Jamie, firmly] “It’s not going to happen … I’m just the best.”

… and is a “champion welly wanger.”

[Natalie] “I wouldn’t say that out loud!”

Natalie wants them to practise for the Fete games, and take it seriously.

Though Jamie is confident not only about the welly wanging. He also reckons the caterpillar race will be easy enough as well.

He once did ten laps at a party!


Rosa REALLY likes Jamie

She turns up at the cricket match.

[Natalie] “Oh no!”

[Jamie] “She’s come to support us, what’s the problem?”

Um, that Rosa is a bit of a stalker? And openly flirts with you in front of your girlfriend.


That mini bus said it all

Natalie was startled that St Mags even had their own mini bus.

The dye was cast …


Elizabeth visits David

[Elizabeth] “Hello David. How are you?”

What a shocker! Elizabeth visiting David. Blimey.

Elizabeth was horrified at the mess the fire had made. It was even hot enough to have bent solid steel poles.

David told Elizabeth that Keith has been taken in, but released.

[Elizabeth] “Not another Clive, surely?”

(mind Clive burnt down Christine and George’s – while Christine and Jill were in there. David saved them)

[David] “It’s the idea that there’s someone out there,. Deliberately trying to hurt my children … it’s that’s the effect,. What the difference. It’s exactly the same outcome.”

Elizabeth offers for Josh and Ben to stay at Lower Loxley. David appreciates but politely declines. He wants his family to stay together.

(not necessarily the best thing for him to say to Elizabeth, considering …).

[Elizabeth] “David, what your doing can’t be easy. There must be a part of you who wants to walk away … don’t give up. One thing I’ve found when terrible things happen it’s best to carry on”

[David] “It gets better over time?”

[Elizabeth] “So I’m told”

Looks like that cold front is defrosting.


Jamie didn’t do well

Natalie’s not impressed with Jamie’s turn on the pitch. She thinks he’s taking too many risks.

Rosa does not concur.

[Rosa] “He just goes out there and enjoys himself. That’ the way to play cricket … I only know there’s too many old plodders in the Ambridge cricket team. They should get fined for boring the audience.”

[Natalie] “Crowd. It’s called a  crowd … you’ve got to understand the game to appreciate it.”

After Jamie’s reckless does get him out:

[Natalie] “He only got a seven.”

[Rosa] “What a seven though!”

[Jamie] “She had her elbow bent … she never bowled it, she chucked it.”

[Natalie] “You played a stupid shot and misjudged it.”

So Jamie’s a bad loser, then. Wouldn’t have guessed that from his pre-match arrogance!


Lucy didn’t do well

I’ve no idea who Lucy is, but she went out on the first ball.


Jamie really is a shockingly bad sportsman

It was Natalie’s turn:

[Jamie] “Watch out for the blonder one. She’s got a very suspect  delivery.”

[Rosa] “I don’t know what’s the matter with everything. It’s only a bunch of schoolgirls.”

[Jamie] “Who don’t even know the laws of cricket!”

[Alistair] “Jamie, let’s be a bit more sporting about it, shall we?”

Sounds like Natalie didn’t last long either.

[Jamie] “57 all out, how did that happen?”

(is that a bad score then?)

[Natalie] “Their spinners are unplayable … they had me fooled every time.”

Its St Mags’ turn to bat next.

When they got to 55:

[Rosa] “I hate to say this, but they’re going to do it. Come on Jamie!”

Jamie bowls a “bouncer”. Which seemingly isn’t a very nice thing to do.

[Alistair] “It’s not considered very sporting, not in a  game like this.”

Next bowl, the St Mags lass hits a cracker. Which Alistair reckons serves him right.

And St Mags win!

[Jamie] “We were rubbish … I could have done a lot better if I'd been allowed to do my normal thing.”

[Natalie] “So you need to resort to intimidation just because you’re being beaten.”

[Jamie] “It’s trying to win, what’s wrong with that?”

[Rosa] “Nothing at all. It’s better than being a loser.”

Oops.

Rosa may be good for Jamie’s ego, but he’d better tread carefully. Natalie doesn’t sound like a young lady to put up with any nonsense.


Why can’t women play cricket?

Despite losing, Natalie really enjoyed the match.

Knowing that it will be near impossible to get another match for the girls anytime soon, Natalie asks Alistair why the girls can’t be considered for the full Ambridge cricket team.

[Natalie] “Everyone just assumes it. The cricket team has to be male.”

Alistair agrees. He’s never been asked about women playing before. He’s going to raise it at their next AGM.

[Natalie] “Maybe it's time Ambridge cricket got itself into the 21st century.”

Well, I can think of a fair few male players (and female spectators) who won’t agree.

Especially Neil.

Imagine how he’ll feel to be dropped, then replaced by girls!

Phoebe breaks some pots: Tues 17.07.12

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 17th July 2012

• Phoebe’s not happy with Kate
• Kate’s not for moving
• Kate’s overinflated vases
• Lucas thinks Phoebe should go home
• Kate doesn’t understand “compromise”

Phoebe’s not happy with Kate

She’s got her music too loud, snaps at Kate and doesn’t even want special pancakes! Also add sarcasm to that list.

[Phoebe] “So, any urgent emails for you this morning … is your friend Becky in trouble again?”

[Kate, not remotely getting the hint] “Phoebe, sweetheart, I thought we’d moved on from that … I’m always here for you … we’re mates, aren’t we? There’s no need for us to have any secrets.”

Ach Kate, you really are blind.


Kate’s not for moving

Phoebe’s suddenly decided that they should move to Durban. Wonder why this is … something to do with getting Kate away from Johan?

Lucas obviously wants to move. He’s ignoring Kate’s obvious displeasure, and today told her to pack. But she refused.

[Kate] “You can go on your own. I’m staying here with your kids.”

[Lucas] “I just don’t understand you. I don’t see how you can be so selfish and unreasonable!”

[Kate] “I’m selfish, I’m unreasonable? You should stop to look at yourself … perhaps you should go away and try a bit harder.”

Actually – has Lucas every really noticed who he married? Course Kate is selfish and unreasonable. Look either up in the dictionary, and it’ll refer you back to Kate Aldridge.

Obviously not.

Lucas seems to be under the impression that because Kate promised they’d concentrate on his career after she’d had her year at Felpersham Uni, she should stick to her word.

As if.

Kate’s promises always mean nothing.

[Kate] “You can’t drag this up now, it’s completely irrelevant.”

Later, Kate tells Delia, Michael and Phoebe that she’s not moving. Their horrified.

[Phoebe] “Yes, and I know why!”

Phoebe doesn’t tell everyone why, but storms off, breaking pottery as she goes, while shouting “I hate you”.

Maybe Phoebe should go home indeed.


Kate’s overinflated vases

The price Kate reckons they’re worth is just as overinflated as her ego!

She’s just beginning to make vases, and asked Delia to put them on her stall.

But they don’t sound very good. Michael certainly isn’t an admirer.

[Michael] “Is this a very big mug, or a small vase, or is it upside down?”

[Phoebe] “I think it might be a jug.”

[Michael] “With no handle?”

[Delia] “It’s a stoneware vase!”

[Phoebe] “Mum just doesn’t have the patience.”

Later on, Phoebe still hasn’t managed to sell Kate’s “vases”. She can’t even give them away as a free gift with one of Delia’s pieces.

[Phoebe] “Sorry, that’s tough, but that’s the market for you.”

But Michael, nice chap that he is, later decides he really likes one of Kate’s vases. And buys it. They hide it from Kate so that she then thinks she’s made a real sale.

She really doesn’t deserve them.


Lucas thinks Phoebe should go home

[Kate] “She’s just in a bit of a strip this morning. Teenage stuff.”

Lucas doesn’t get it.

Phoebe wanted to stay. Kate wanted her to stay as well. Now Phoebe’s going off with Delia rather than Kate, and is arguing with Kate.

He thinks she’d be better of heading home to Ambridge.

I concur.


Kate doesn’t understand “compromise”

Kate phones Jennifer, expecting Jennifer to support her point of view.

But, Jennifer can see that Lucas is trying to do the best for his family.

[Jennifer] “Can’t you try and reach a compromise?”

[Kate] “Oh, so you mean I should give up and do whatever he says?”

[Jennifer] “Oh darling, sharing your life with somebody is never easy. No matter how much you love each other … take it from me, I ought to know. There are times to make a stand, there are times when you just have to put your doubts side and do what’s best for your family. And this is one of these times.”

[Kate] “So, you’re on his side.”

Oh come on Kate! Compromise means both of you having to lose out, but also gain.

(mind you, there’s never a point to trying to reason with Kate?)

Stuck in a ditch: Mon 16.07.12

The Archers Monday 16th July 2012

• David’s bad day turns good
• The price of milk
• I thought Vicky was pregnant
• Typical Horrobins
• Communicating with water
• Good god! Lynda and Robert have a sex life!

David’s bad day turns good

David drive his Landrover into a ditch, which the Landrover was hitched to a trailer of lambs.

David is beyond annoyed with himself.

But thankfully, the lambs are okay.

[David] “They’re fine. They’re just a  bit confused.”

Adam started helping David to get the lambs out, then Mike also joined in. David feeling increasing … ahem … sheepish that he got himself in this spot.

[David] “It’s just me driving with my mind out of gear.”

Once they’ve got David organised again, he’s about to head home rather than the market. He thinks he won’t get there in time to sell his lambs. And he was right – he got there five minutes to late. But:

[David] “Just as I was beating my head on the concentrate in frustration …”

A butcher came along, and bought all of David’s lambs. The butcher had also missed the sale, knew David’s lambs because of Penny Hassett. He gave David a very good price, paid in cash and David didn’t have to pay any commission.

[Adam] “Great, well I do like a happy ending.”

[David] “When I was driving home, my pocket stuffed with cash, I remember dad saying to me once, when I was about Pip’s age, it’s family farms that make a nation string … I know what he meant though, worth fighting for, isn’t it!”

How lovely to hear David being positive. It’s a very rare occurrence.


The price of milk

Mike’s reading his dairy trade newspaper. It doesn’t make for pleasant reading at all.

[Mike] “More letters from people saying they’ll have to sell up with the price cuts.”

He’s also losing customers from the milk round. Mike reckons the publicity about the cost of milk has reminded folks they can get their milk cheaper from the supermarkets,

[Mike] “Going on about it being a luxury item.”

[Vicky] “We’ll survive.”

Oh dear.

Wonder if Mike will be at front of the protests.


I thought Vicky was pregnant

Mike was bemoaning that they’d had to leave a restaurant after they’d only just had their starters. Seems Vicky wasn’t feeling well.

[Vicky] “I don’t know what’s the matter with me lately.”

So Vicky’s feeling sick. And hasn’t been sleeping.

Knowing how amorous those two are, my first though was that there was going to be another Tucker about to enter the world. Brenda’s face would have been a picture!


Typical Horrobins

[Adam] “So, Keith Horrobin eh … that doesn’t mean he’s innocent. The Horrobins don’t have a good track record, do they.”

[Mike] “What a family, eh … he’s in the frame, obviously … that’s always the hardest. Not knowing.”

All smells like a bit of a red herring …


Communicating with water

Vicky comes across Lynda doing something odd on the bridge. Not sure why anyone is ever surprised to find Lynda doing something odd. It is a fairly common occurrence.

[Vicky] “I thought you might be unwell, hanging onto the parapet like that.”

[Lynda] “No, I’m communing with the bridge.”

[Vicky] “I beg your pardon?”

[Lynda] “I’m trying to communicate with the energy of the place. It’s important to actually touch the stones.”

It’s all something to do with the performance art Lynda is organising. The Director seemingly thinks the bridge is a “key performance point”.

[Lynda] “It’s all to do with the crossover of two energy flows. Human energy, above the bridge, and the eternal fluid below, our communication with the natural world … it’s fascinating.”

[Vicky] “Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

[Lynda] “Yes, I’ll persevere.”

But, when Vicky mentions Danish at Grey Gables, Lynda is easily coxed away …


Good god! Lynda and Robert have a sex life!

Terrifying to think it, horribly disturbing to hear it!

Over their Danish, Lynda asks Vicky why she’s trying to cheer herself up. Vicky tells her it’s because she’s been feeling a bit down recently.

[Vicky] “Just, age I’m afraid .. I’ve been feeling it though. The usual aches and pains … it’s more mood swings if I’m honest. Hot flushes, that sort of thing. Still, I mustn’t go on. Comes to us all doesn’t it.”

[Lynda] “Well, I remember when I went through all that, but do you know that I can honestly say I’ve had some of my most productive moments since, all that … the creative energy I’ve had for my projects, my shows particularly …I wouldn’t have felt that 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have had the perception.”

Lynda’s already squirming about talking about “all that”, when Vicky mentions that it’s not just the hot flushes that’s worrying her. It’s more intimate issues …

[Lynda] “Ah,. You’re thinking about relations … I really think we’re close now than we’ve ever been … maybe there isn’t quite the fiery passion there used to be. Don’t get me wrong we still have our moments, Robert and I.”

[Vicky] “Really!”

[Lynda] “Quite magical, at times.”

[Vicky] “Only sometimes I catch Mike looking at me like he’s a little boy in a sweet shop, I don’t think I could bear it if all that stopped.”

[Lynda] “I suspect he’ll be coming to the counter for some time yet.”

How. Very. Disturbing.

A Horrobin grasses on a Horrobin: Sun 15.07.12

The Archers Sunday 15th July 2012

• Emma phones Crimestoppers
• Price or value?
• Brookfield’s in a state
• Sabrina’s in training for donuts
• The Police came for Keith

Emma phones Crimestoppers

[Emma] “Well there’s someone you need to investigate … I know he was involved, that’s all I’m saying … it’s Keith Horrobin.”

Emma didn’t give her name, so no one will have a clue who ‘shopped’ Keith.

All credit to Emma. She’s generally not one of my favourite Ambridge residents, but she’s come good this time. Couldn’t have been easy.


Price or value?

Annabelle’s obsessions about the arable tender for the Super Dairy continues. (very odd).

Brian seems to be turning from not giving a hoot, to starting to twig that Home farm might not be a shoe-in after all.

[Brian] “They’re cowboy firms, trying it on, there’s no way they’d make a profit … they see BL as fresh meat, a soft target ripe for the picking.”

[Annabelle] “You’re mixing your metaphors, Brian … So, your line is we’re quite a bit more expensive, but we’ll give you better value for your money?”

Indeed it is. Brian reckons he can go in higher because he (well, Adam) is closer by to be able to deal with anything urgent. Most of the other firms are at least 15 miles away (imagine that! They’d take a whole extra 15 minutes to get there).

So Brian needs Adam to keep a record (and look back two years) to be able to evidence when he has been able to rush out and avert disaster.

Now I’d have though Adam would use this as his opportunity to scupper part of the Super Dairy (if a lesser company did get the contract, maybe they’d screw it up). But, Adam knows Home Farm needs this contract.

So he agrees. Albeit grudgingly.

Annabelle’s amazed at Brian’s persuasion prowess.

[Brian] “Never let the grass grow under my feet.”

[Annabelle] “Or any other forage crop!”

(ha!)


Brookfield’s in a state

We didn’t get to hear from David, Ruth or their brood today – but everyone else was saying what a mess the farm is in.

[Susan] “Bit of a state, is it?”

[Emma] “There’s hardly anything left. Just a few bits of twisted steel.”

Also a patio table and George’s bike are ruined.

[Susan] “Let’s hope the Police get their act together. Personally I’d throw away the key.”

Hmmm. Susan will change her tune soon enough …


Sabrina’s in training for donuts

Susan’s harassing Neil to join a team for the sports at the Fete.

[Susan] “Keeps saying if he plays for anyone at all, it’ll be the cricket team.”

[Emma] “That’d be worth seeing. Dad racing in his sleeping bag.”

[Susan] “What about the other, the dramatic donut race, or whatever it’s called.”

Seems the donut race involved running round the track four times, while putting more clothes on, and eating donuts.

[Susan] “What about Sabrina, she’s already training for it.”

I suppose that makes sense. Burn the calories off before you pile them on (or is she training by eating donuts while she runs?)


The Police came for Keith

Tracey burst into Susan’s while Emma was there to say that the Police had taken Keith that morning.

[Tracey] “They’re trying to do him for the fire … Some snake in the grass, anonymous of course”

[Susan] “Not Keith, that ridiculous, I can’t take this in!”

[Tracey] “Some nutter with a grudge phones up and they take it seriously.”

[Susan] “Especially when his name’s Horrobin.”

(well, that’s fair enough really. It usually is a Horrobin that’s to blame)

Later on, Keith turned up, he’d been released without charge.

[Keith] “Of course they have. They haven’t got a thing on me.”

Keith tried to ask Emma about George, but she responded rather coldly.

Tracey was still ranting about whoever grassed on Keith. She reckons it’s them who want “locking up”. But Keith didn’t want a fuss.

Wonder why …

So they start trying to work out who holds a grudge against Keith.

[Tracey] “Emma, you got any idea?”

Oh ho!

I would like to be Emma when Tracey works it out …

Keith’s a firestarter? Fri 13.07.12

The Archers Friday 13th July

• Adam wants David to stop
• Churches should provide ashtrays
• Keith has a limp …
• Keith sounds guilty …
• Keith left early …
• Jumping to conclusions?
• Annabelle doesn’t do puddings

Adam wants David to stop

Adam’s brought round some straw for Brookfield, though they’ll have to buy in their own hay. The insurance should cover it, but we all know how long insurance can take …

Adam’s beyond horrified:

[Adam] “I know you said you'd stand firm, but a line's been crossed here, they really mean business, they don’t care about people’s lives ... I couldn't live with myself.”

But, as David has got to this stage, the Police are now willing to do a bit more for him (it would seem). They’ll have two on duty at Brookfield, plus step-up drive rounds.

So, with that and his cameras and security lights, David feels quite confident he and his family are safe.

[Adam] “So, how come you don’t have a barn?”

Quite!


Churches should provide ashtrays

[Tracey] “What are you supposed to do with your fag ends around here?”

[Ed] “I dunno. not smoke in the first place, I suppose.”

[Tracey] “And they wonder why people don’t go to church!”

Ah – Tracey, pure class. Especially at her brother’s daughter’s wedding!

It’s all “petal and powders”. That won’t be the way Tracey will have her do.

[Tracey] “Me and Ifti. When we get hitched. I want us coming in on elephants.” 

[Ed] “In Ambridge?”

[Tracey] “In India!”

Oh good lord!

Tracey would be funny, if she wasn’t verging on being racist.

Ifti’s probably from Oxford.


Keith has a limp …

Oh, does he now?

And he got it falling over a hamster?

Hmmm …


Keith sounds guilty …

[Tracey] “I wish mum was here to see it. She'd be so chuffed you’d done good.”

You could actually hear Keith turning red at that.

Later on, he was joking with Emma about burnt sausage rolls, after she’d made mention of a fire.

He was horrified to realise that she’d meant the Brookfield one. That she had been there. Keith thought she’d been at Susan’s.

[Keith] “I’d no idea. So sorry.”

[Emma] “I’ve never been so scared in my life”

[Keith] “I’m so, so sorry. I really am.”

Hmmm …


Keith left early …

From the blokes do at the do. On the night of the fire at Brookfield.

[Tracey] “Can't take your beer, tripping over hamsters!”

Hmmm …


Jumping to conclusions?

Emma’s putting everything together, and coming up with her uncle Keith as the firestarter.

[Emma] “How likely is that .. it could be a convenient excuse ... he kept saying he was sorry, so sorry ... like it was his fault ... it could have been …”

[Ed] “It could have been anyone, it can't be ...”

[Emma] “When you put it all together ...”

See – Uncle Keith, the firestarter!

Would seem that could indeed be the case.

I wonder …


Annabelle doesn’t do puddings

But she does do panic, on behalf of Brian. Especially when Brian refuses to panic.

I have no idea why Annabelle does that.

She’s got herself in a tizzy about the arable contract. Seems Annabelle is worried that other BL Board members have been telling other companies to tender.

Brian doesn’t seem bothered. He thinks he and Home Farm can do better price and value.

Actually, must admit I’m not that bothered either …

The day of the Brookfield Barn Fire: Thurs 12.07.12

The Archers Thursday 12th July 2012

• Confused?
• Josh is a hero
• Who is David kidding?
• George had a marvellous time!
• Clever Jeena
• Will Emma testify?

Confused?

I was at first.

The day before was the barn fire – but they were still at a burning barn today.

It had me thinking about was about to alter time back and forth like Ambridge Extra does (did?).

But phew!

I realised that the barn had gone on fire in the wee hours yesterday. So we were hearing those wee hours, as it was still today.

If that makes sense (?!?)


Josh is a hero

Josh and George were found safe

Good.

They were found together. Josh had promised George he’d wake him up with Jeena starting calving. So Josh did, then kept George safe during the fire.

In fact, Josh and George got Jeena away from the fire. Then Josh let the dogs loose so that they’d wake everyone else up.

That lad’ll go far. Quick thinking indeed.


Who is David kidding?

David seems to think the barn fire might be because of something carried on the wind. A Chinese Lantern, or the like.

[David] “I dunno. These things happen.”

Oh come on David!

What’s it going to take, David?!?


George had a marvellous time!

[George] “Yay, the fire engine!”

Poor Ben was stuck back in the house looking after Keira during the fire. The fire engines. And the Police arriving.

But George even got to sit in the truck.

[Emma] “All just a  big adventure to them.”

[George] “This is the best night of my entire life!”

Clever Jeena

Ruth and Josh rushed back to Jeena as, though she had started, she had run into problems which Josh couldn’t handle himself.

Ruth said the calf had elbow lock. She pushed it back in, straightened it out, and:

[Josh] “Oh yes! Two legs!!!”

[Ruth] “And the reflex?”

[Josh] “It's sucking my fingers.”

And it’s a girl!

Clever Jeena indeedy.

Her calf is to be called Georgina (instead of Jessie J).


Will Emma testify?

Even David couldn’t ignore the fact that the Police found petrol at the fire site.

Well, he did try.

But Emma spoke up.

[Emma] “Well I know. I know someone started it. I saw him. I saw him running away across the field.”

She even described how he tripped.

But then, couldn’t remember much more.

[Emma] “Average, maybe a bit thick set ... I’m so sorry David, I wish I could be more help.”

Could Emma be of more help?

Is she telling everything she saw? Or, holding back so that the gang doesn’t target her and her family …?

Phoebe finally realises Kate’s not mum material? Thurs 12.07.l12

Ambridge Extra Thursday 12th July 2012

• Kate doesn’t know the “coolest sounds”   
• Now the South African older ‘uns are randy
• Lucas and Kate are skint?
• Kate makes a promise
• Kate abandons Phoebe
• Phoebe’s a natural saleswoman
• Johan’s a real bad ‘un
• Phoebe catches Kate at it

Kate doesn’t know the “coolest sounds”

And boy wasn’t she irritated by it! Phoebe was waxing lyrical about some of the latest hit pop combos, none of which Kate knew.

Phoebe then wanted to go out with her pals rather than go shopping with her mum (though she relented after Kate nearly threw a tantrum)

Time Kate accepted she’s no longer a young ‘un!


Now the South African older ‘uns are randy

What on earth is happening to the older generation of Ambridge related folks?

Michael and Delia were almost at ‘it’.

Enough already!

Turns those microphones off at such moment, please. We’ll end up with The Archers after the watershed.


Lucas and Kate are skint?

Sounds like it.

Delia and Michael were talking about Lucas’ new job offer.

[Delia] “Lucas can’t afford to turn down, literally.”

[Michael] “I think Kate is so wrapped up in her own world, she sometimes forgets that Lucas is the breadwinner.”

Sounds like Kate would have much of a choice but to move.


Kate makes a promise

Oh dear.

[Kate] “Phoebe. nothing’s going to interfere with your camping trip. And that’s a promise.”

Uh oh …


Kate abandons Phoebe

Yet again!

Johan texts Kate. Kate tells Phoebe it’s her mate Becky, who has been taken to hospital.

Kate then leaves Phoebe in the shopping centre. Alone.

[Kate] “Here's some money. Buy yourself a pizza or something.”

Nice parenting!

Though to be fair, Delia is close by with her pottery stall.

Still very shoddy, though.


Phoebe’s a natural saleswoman

Seems Phoebe has some of Kate’s gift of the gab.

She does go to see Delia (well, who else could she turn to). Delia encourages her to try and make a few sales. Which Phoebe does, rather well.

[Delia] “Go on like this and you'll soon be selling fridges to Eskimos.”

Johan’s a real bad ‘un

He texted Kate to allegedly helped him with a course he’s putting together.

Though he was obviously after a bit more than just advice.

He’s seeing other women. Gets warned off by Michael. And still interrupts Kate and her family.

Dodgy bloke indeed.


Phoebe catches Kate at it

(well not in reality, just virtually)

[Phoebe] “The things about my mum, most time she's great, just not very reliable.”

(what an understatement!)

Phoebe called Mandisa from the shopping centre, and met up with her to go back to Phoebe’s.

They’re about to go onto Kate’s laptop, looking at the jeans Kate promised Phoebe they’d be buying today (but ran off to see Johan instead).

Mandisa manages to crack Kate’s laptop password (one of her kid’s birthday). She notices Kate has email, and looks.

[Mandisa, reading out the email] “Hey, what, kiss kiss missing you already …”

[Phoebe] “Oh Mandisa no, that's Lucas, I’m not listening!”

[Mandisa] “You;re the sexiest volunteer ...”

Oh. They realise it’s not Lucas.

[Phoebe] “Some kind of a joke?”

Then she notices the time of the email. It was moments before Kate sped off to see Becky in hospital …

[Phoebe] “She went t be with him. Oh mum!”

Oh dear. But, Phoebe did have to realise it sooner or later.

(I don’t understand why Johan was emailing Kate while also texting her. Maybe just a cute message for when she left him and went back home … but teenage stuff, surely?)

The barn’s on fire at Brookfield: Wed 11.07.12

The Archers Wednesday 11th July 2012

• We’re going down the pub …
• David’s not at the pub
• Eddie offers Neil outside
• Emma’s up with Keira
• Josh is up with Jeena
• The barns on fire!

We’re going down the pub …

The blokes of Ambridge are having drinks, on Keith Horrobin.

It’s his son-in-law’s (more or less) last night of bachelordom. Not sure why that means his father-in-law-to-be has to pay for the males of the local village to drink and eat all night. But poor Keith seemed to have no choice.

[Neil] “You’re losing a daughter and gaining ...”

[Keith] “ … a whacking great overdraft.”

David’s not at the pub

He’s staying in with Ruth, the kids and a DVD.

[Ruth] “Yeah, cause we usually have such a wild social life.”

Eddie offers Neil outside

Eddie’s not very happy with Neil’s alleged sighting of The Ambridge Beast (which happened a wee while ago, and was never mentioned until now, despite Susan being very excited about it indeed). Eddie is insisting Neil never saw a boar.

[Keith] “If anyone should know a boar when he sees one, it’s Neil!”

[Neil] “Eh?”

(Keith makes a quick exit elsewhere. Making jokes about Susan to Neil never goes down well)

Neil won’t back down. It was a boar, he swears. So, Eddie calls Neil outside …

…  to show him one of the concrete ornaments he’d made. This one was made out of 3 other ones, which Eddie is going to try and sell as a horrible, evil, Ambridge Beast.

[Eddie] “So all these talk of boars, you;re killing my trade mate!”

Neil’s was in stitches!

[Eddie] “Have a heart Neil, times are hard … so, you didn’t see no boar, did you?”

We can hear Neil’s answer through his laughter.


Emma’s up with Keira

Keira’s teething. Just as Emma settles her, and settles herself next to a dozing Ed (who’d come home early from the pub), she notices a light go on at Brookfield.

But it’s only Josh duty his duty to Jeena (the heavily pregnant cow with the slim hips).


Josh is up with Jeena

[Josh] “It's alright girl. I’m here. I'll be with you.”

Seems she’s starting labour. But, there’s something odd.

[Josh] “I know you've got other things on your mind Jeena, but can you smell ...”

The barns on fire!

Just as Josh can smell the smoke, the farm’s dogs start barking, and Keira starts crying. That wakes Emma.

[Emma] “Oh my god, the barn is on fire!”

She wakes Ed. Then finds that George isn’t in his bed. And then she also spots someone running.

[Emma] “Hey, you stop!”

Ed manages to stir, and knocks up David and Ruth.

They rush out. David wants Ed to help him stop the fire before it reaches the chemical store, but George is still missing. Emma’s frantic.

As is Ruth.

Josh also isn’t answering.

We leave Ambridge in the wee hours of the morning, Ruth and Emma shouting for their sons, the sound of fire crackling in the background.

Very reminiscent of the night Grace died. David call of “look out!” had me thinking we might have had another fire fatality in Ambridge …

The main event: Lynda Vs Kenton: Tues 10.07.12

The Archers Tuesday 10th July 2012

• Scruff’s a good boy
• The battle of the Ambridge road side
• Did Clive wonder if Matt was dodgy?
• Lynda’s performance art will feature …
• Kenton’s games will feature …

Scruff’s a good boy

Or he’d better be, if he knows what’s good for him.

[Lynda] “If Scruff ever asked to go walkies, I’d take him back to dog training!”

The battle of the Ambridge road side

Eddie’s “refreshed his offer”

Which Lynda interprets as:

[Lynda] “You can't keep flogging the same old junk, in other words.”

Eddie’s realised selling his usual garden ornament fare of gnomes, squirrels and the like to the same folks at the same car boot sales isn’t going to make his fortune.

So he’s started making new ornaments. Based on cats and dogs, including ones like Scruff, with a wee jolly phrase (hence the “go walkies”).

They sound hideous.

And Eddie also intends to sell them on the roadside. Near his house. Which also happens to be near Lynda’s house.

[Lynda] “I don’t want cars belonging to philistines! … For the good of the village, I think you’ll find the community will request you to keep them on your own property.”

From the sounds of it, Lynda needn’t worry about a convoy of cars queuing to buy Eddie’s ornaments:

[Kenton] “What is it, one of your early cats and dogs escaped from the Lab.?”

Did Clive wonder if Matt was dodgy?

Darrell’s heard that Clive had worked for Matt. He asks Susan if heard whether Clive had any doubts about Matt.

Susan had no ken.

From his lack of knowledge about the Horrobin family, sounds like Darrell is clueless too.

He actually goes on to prove just how clueless he is by being rather naïve to Matt.

[Matt] “How come you’re not all bright eyed and bushy tailed like you used to be?”

[Darrell] “It's Bernie ... I've been asking a few questions about him, and it turns out he's not entirely straight.”

Oh come on Darrell! Surely you must know that Matt knows?

Matt fobs Darrell off with the fact that the job is nearly done, so they won’t be needing Bernie again. That Darrell better stay put, as he won’t get more work with matt if he walks out on this one because of Bernie. And, how he’s heard Darrell’s daughter Anna now wanted piano lessons …

[Matt] “Families, eh, they do get used to a regular wage.”

Ah. There’s nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to keep a chap motivated at work.


Lynda’s performance art will feature …

Product placement (Susan was right!), aka the Village Shop.

Though Kenton insists that if the shop features, The Bull should as well.

But Lynda claims the village shop is in it only because it’s near to the phone box.

[Lynda] “A meeting place, a melting pot of ideas.”

Seems the performance art is something about communication.

[Lynda] “The ultimate blend of form and content.”

Aha! Kenton reckons that also sounds like The Bull.

[Kenton] “The truths that comes out after a few pint if shires, the timeless conversations that take place over the bar, Eccles and his squawk.”

[Lynda] “Can’t you take this seriously! We can't involve Eccles. he won't stay still!”

(Eccles is The Bull’s peacock – the one who scares Rhys)

Susan makes a few suggestions of other “communication” points in the village.

The bridge over the Am. The Village Green. The Lawson-hope seat.

(actually, quite good suggestions. For Susan)

Lynda has a better idea (what a surprise!). The village finger pointer.

[Lynda] “Pointing us on all directions like ...”

[Kenton] “… the road to nowhere!”

Kenton then suggested that Lynda holds her finale in Ian and Adam’s hot tub.

[Kenton] “Listening for messages from the bubbles.”

Surprisingly, Lynda thinks Kenton might have just hit upon something quite interesting.

Cannae wait!


Kenton’s games will feature …

[Kenton] “Relay, with obstacles, on space hoppers.”

[Susan] “Well that sorts out the Village shop team. Kathy out, Sabrina Thwaite in.”

(eh? Why not Kathy? Surely it’d only be the blokes of the village who’d prefer to see Sabrina on a space hopper … very odd Susan would)

[Lynda] “It's exactly as I feared. The worst of all possible worlds, both silly and pandering to the fit and healthy.”

But Kenton reckons silly just means fun. Which is what his games will be, and Lynda’s performance art won’t.

[Lynda] “It sounds like a challenge to me!”

[Kenton] “Right, let the games commence.”

Ah. Very droll.

Lucas got the job: Tues 10.07.12

Ambridge Extra 10th July 2012

• Lucas’ mum, Delia
• Johan is a player
• Lucas is offered the job

Lucas’ mum, Delia

Sounds like a very sensible woman indeed.

She was having a chat to Lucas before his job interview. Though she encourages him to take his chance (if he’s offered it), so also tells him to “be considerate” and not to take things for granted.

By which she means Kate.

Sounds like advice which has come too late.


Johan is a player

Lucas’ dad Michael walked in on Johan at work, while he was “helping” a graduate student.

And Michael later told Delia that Johan has a bad reputation.

Oops. Nae luck there then, Kate.

Michael then invited Johan round to his and Delia’s for dinner. While Lucas and Kate are also there for dinner.

Johan hesitates, and calls Kate to see what she thinks.

[Kate] “No. No, please come ... they're trying to pressure me, it’d be good to have you there. Someone on my side. But please, please be careful.”

What numpties! Dangerous and incredibly disrespectful for Johan to eat at Lucas’ parents’ house. But would seem Johan has the same morals as Kate.

(i.e. none at all)

When Delia sees Johan:

[Delia] “Ah, so that's your Johan. now I understand!”

At dinner, Johan waxes lyrical about how marvellous Kate is. How she’s made such a difference to him in his work and the like.

Would seem Michael’s not a man to be underestimated.

As Johan is leaving, Michael shakes his hand while saying:

[Michael] “And Johan. Just a word before you go. Inspite of what happened tonight, Lucas and Kate are a very close couple ... forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn ... I may be getting old, but I’m not blind. Kate’s an attractive woman, and I noticed something unprofessional in the way you were looking at her tonight ... if you’ve any intentions of that kind, I would forget them now.”

[Johan] “I would never dream of compromising her in anyway ... so, can I have my hand back now?”

This isn’t going to be pretty when the truth is unveiled.


Lucas is offered the job

He and his parents were delighted, Kate left the room visibly upset.

If she’s upset at having to move away from Johan, she might want to take heed of the gossip about him first. He’s already onto the next woman!

Sandwich fillings: Mon 09.07.12

The Archers Monday 9th July 2012

• Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!
• Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room
• Sobbing in the Tucker household
• Brian to evict the Swifts?
• Brian on the fiddle?

Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!

[Elona] “The salami’s off, you’re having ham … you may not care what you’re having in your sandwiches, but I do.”

And there. Ladies and gentleman, was the highlight from today’s Ambridge.

Elona was making Darrell’s sandwiches, but Darrell was distracted by thoughts of Bernie (the bloke who’s selling him and Matt knock off kitchen furniture, and the like).

Makes it worse that Elona is very glad Matt is being “fair” with Darrell. Paying him formally. And being generous with a “bonus”. She’s delighted the bonus has meant Anna can get a keyboard. Later on, after Anna got her keyboard, she says she also now wants piano lessons.

All of which adds pressure onto Darrell. Who knows that Matt isn’t exactly on the level.


Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room

She thinks it’s very pretty and grown up.

Phew!

Hayley must be so relieved …


Sobbing in the Tucker household

Seems Abbie was sobbing all night about Phoebe not coming home.

And Vicky’s also upset. It’s put a right damper on her and Mike’s anniversary plans.

Though Phoebe sent Hayley something that sounded like a musical text with a message on it (couldn’t tell you exactly what, though) saying she loved her, Hayley wasn’t exactly cheered.

We left Ambridge this evening listening to Hayley playing the text back, laughing, then crying.


Brian to evict the swifts?

Brian’s been given first option on buying Valley Farm.

That’s the farm he wants to turn into accommodation for the Super Dairy workers. And the one which is currently home to some swifts.

[Brian] “Seems the owner got pestered by BAFF at a farmer’s market … that rabid Hattie person probably. Bet she unloved as a child …”

[Jennifer] “Oh Brian!”

[Brian] “Come on Jenny, they’re just attention seekers … they’ve started to believe their own publicity … that everyone agrees with them. There’s nothing worse than arrogance, is there?”

[Jennifer] “Well …”

[Brian] “The good thing is that it’s all starting to backfire … got right up his nose, suddenly he’s offering it at a very fair price.”

Ah – so Hattie has unwittingly helped Brian, and damned the swifts.

Funny Jennifer hasn’t mentioned them again. So was so adamant Brian couldn’t evict them.

Maybe she’s saving that as a round 2 argument.


Brian on the fiddle?

Possibly so.

Gerry has asked to see the contract between Home Farm and BL for the arable part of the Super Dairy.

Annabelle seems deeply concerned he’s looking into it. Brian doesn’t seem to give a hoot. He reckons Home Farm got the job after tendering.

[Brian] “I’m completely bomb proof on this one”

Hmm.

Odd that Brian never seems to listen to Annabelle. She’s more than often right.

Maybe the Super Dairy will still be scuppered, from the inside.

Kate’s a madwoman, so says Hayley: Sun 08.07.12

The Archers Sunday 8th July 2012

• Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade
• South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?
• Milk Price Rally
• Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!
• George not impressed with Susan’s
• Josh to look after Jeena
• Roy knows Kate

Roy liked Phoebe’s old lampshade

But it doesn’t fit with the rest of her new room, so it’s got to go.

There was a slight panic when they found the bulb wasn’t working, but Roy borrowed one from Mike.

Such drama!


South Africa, or Vicky in a glamorous granny contest?

(I know what I’d prefer)

Kate drops her bombshell

Well, to be fair to Kate, it was actually Phoebe’s bombshell. But Kate did facilitate it by agreeing to Phoebe staying longer in South Africa without talking to Roy and Hayley first,

Kate called Hayley, just as Hayley was putting the finishing touches to Phoebe’s room.

[Kate] “It makes much more sense.”

[Hayley] “It might make sense to you but this date’s been set for months!

[Kate] “That was ages ago, we didn’t know how things were going to work out, she’s loving South Africa … you can hardly begrudge it, you’ve had her all these years.”

Later on, talking to Roy, Hayley was furious with herself for letting Kate wind her up.

She and Roy are both furious Phoebe isn’t coming home, for a number of reasons. There will be no time for her to settle down before school. It’ll ruin the holiday plans they’d made.

[Roy] “No, it’ll be Kate just trying it on … she isn’t going to stay there. I’ll not have it.”

So Roy calls Kate.

[Kate] “You and Hayley are as bad as each other, overeating …”

Roy demands to be told about the camping trip to the Cape. Kate’s mention of older boys being there doesn’t make Roy a happy man …

[Kate] “ … for goodness sake, grow up, and let Phoebe, Just chill a bit … I can see a week in some holiday park in the UK  to be far more enjoyable, playing snap with her kid sister while Vicky enters the glamorous granny competition!”

[Roy] “It wouldn’t be like that …”

(Roy had to stop there. He couldn’t exactly give any reasons why it wouldn’t be like that)

Kate handed the phone to Phoebe, who tells Roy that she wants to stay as she’s having such a marvellous time.

[Roy] “Well, you are going to come back, aren’t you?”

[Phoebe] “Don’t be silly. Of course I will!”

So, Roy has to relent. What Phoebe wants, Phoebe does seem to get.


Milk Price Rally

Will be taking place in London, but David’s not going. He feels his place is at Brookfield, especially now that everyone’s home again (including Emma at Rickyard, it would seem).

[David] “We’ve just got to be aware, that’s all, rather than being paranoid.”

Elizabeth speaks to David!!!!!!

Sounded like Josh and Ben were at Lower Loxley. David expected it would be Lewis to bring them home.

[David] “What would it take, do you think, for Elizabeth to come round?”

[Ruth] “What, here?”

[David]  “In her head as well. Perhaps if these nutters bought me one, or finished me off … do you think that would even the stakes?”

Later on, after the boys are home.

[David] “You might need to go home and lie in a darkened room.”

Elizabeth had dropped them off, and had also spoken to David.

[David] “Don’t get excited. Nothing’s changed. She still thinks I’m an idiot. She thinks I’m mad to give evidence … from her point of view, it’s clearly just another wrong decision from someone who clearly can’t be trusted to make them.”

Ach well. At least Elizabeth is now acknowledging David exists. Might take a few more years for her to realise he didn’t kill Nigel.


George not impressed with Susan’s

George didn’t like staying at Ambridge View.

He wasn’t allowed in most of the rooms. Could have drinks or crisps in front of the “big” telly. And had to talk his shoes off.

When telling Josh, they both agree it was rather “extreme”.


Josh to look after Jeena

Jeena’s very heavily pregnant with a big calf, but has quite slim hips. So she’ll likely need help.

Josh was sounding very depressed (indeed) that Phoebe wasn’t coming home:

[Josh] “Some summer I’m going to have, gated on a farm with nutters after us.”

David reminds him that they’ll have days out. Cricket. Football. He’ll finally get on the tractor. And, he wants Josh to look after Jeena.

Josh actually sounded really happy about that.

Would seem Phoebe is easily forgotten for a cow …


Roy knows Kate

[Hayley] “Can we trust her Roy … Kate … by September, will she come up with some other excuse to keep her … Kate’s brainwashed her.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded ... a bit detached”

[Hayley] “Don’t tell me Phoebe’s been packed off to get her out of Kate’s way.”

[Roy] “I thought Kate sounded a bit odd.”

[Hayley] “So now there’s a madwoman in charge of our daughter … well thanks Roy. If you’re trying to reassure me, you’re going the wrong way about it!”

Hmmm.

Looks like Roy’s spotted Kate’s up to no good.

Amazonian girls’ cricket team: Fri 06.07.12

The Archers Friday 6th July 2012

• Jennifer’s cropping
• Debbie’s stressed
• Public School agrees with Ruairi
• Brookfield’s full again
• Jennifer wants to party
• What products has Susan to place?
• George is wrecking Susan’s house
• Jamie’s scared of girls
• What did Jamie add to Kenton’s list?
• David and Ruth finally agree

Jennifer’s cropping

[Jennifer] “Could you just be careful where you’re putting your feet, Brian!”

She need to get her courgettes in before they turn into marrows.

At mine, we have to gets ours in before the slugs have them!


Debbie’s stressed

So says Brian. Something to do with the Super Dairy.

It’s a real shame, but I could care less about Debbie these days. She’s turned into a right nasty, money focused person.

I thought she’d have been the last one to follow in Brian’s footsteps.


Public School agrees with Ruairi

So says Jennifer.

He’s trying lots of new foods (including ratatouille), and seems to be loving his time there.

[Jennifer] “He’s sounding, well, very confident.”

(I only hope his accent is also improving. Not that I want him to lose the Irish accent – just to lose the bizarre form of an Irish accent he seems to have developed).


Brookfield’s full again

Which both David and Ruth are happy about.


Jennifer wants to party

It would seem Ambridge is having good summer weather at the moment. Unlike the rest of us.

[Jennifer] “Everything smells so wonderful.”

So Jennifer wants to throw a family party. She wants to celebrate.

Course, Brian automatically thinks it’s to celebrate his success with the Super Dairy, and with managing to keep the BL Board in check.

Jennifer was more thinking about celebrating that Ruairi is home. That Phoebe will be home. And that Adam is still alive.

Though has Jennifer forgotten she’ll need to invite the Horrobins? They’re family as well. Mind you, she does have a wee special liking for Keith …


What products has Susan to place?

Susan has a wee go at Kenton for not being organised about the community games.

[Susan] “It is a bit difficult with people not knowing what they’re signing up for … Lynda’s steaming ahead.”

Seems Lynda’s infamous performance art will involve actors all over the village.

[Susan] “It might be an opportunity for some product placements.”

Eh?

What’s Susan got to place?

Unless she’s thinking of something to do with Bridge Farm.


George is wrecking Susan’s house

Though we haven’t heard Neil moan about it, from Susan’s saying, it sounds like Emma, Keira and George staying at theirs isn’t exactly working out for them.

George is ruining their carpets, with all his cake crumbs.

And Emma was about to tell Susan about something to do with George and an Owl ornament, but stopped with Susan started telling her how much sentimental value it had …

… oh dear. That’ll be a broken ornament then.

Emma might have to move back to Rickyard, gang or no gang.


Jamie’s scared of girls

The St Mag’s girls, to be exact.

He stops to talk to Kenton while he (Jamie) is on a 5 mile run.

Jamie and the rest of the cricket lads have stepped up their training. They’re terrified of playing the St Mags girls’ cricket team. Kenton’s not helping matters:

[Kenton] “Could be a case for post-match counselling I think! ,,, Amazonians … they have been known to lose. Just not in recent memory.”

Alistair has also been telling everyone to come and watch the match.

No pressure there then …


What did Jamie add to Kenton’s list?

Jamie was very unimpressed by the list of games Kenton has down for the Community Games. So he took it away to add to it.

Jamie later gave it back, but we weren’t told what new had been added.


David and Ruth finally agree

[David] “I’ve decided I’m going to pull out. I’m not going to give evidence.”

[Ruth] “You’re only doing that for me, aren’t you.”

[David] “Well, you and the kids.”

[Ruth] “I’ve been doing some thinking too. I don’t want you to…. I want to nail them, once and for all, see them in prison.”

[David] “Why the change of heart?”

[Ruth] “Something Kenton said. It stayed with me … We’re on the same side again, aren’t we?”

[David] “Thank goodness!”

Indeed.

So the gang now has to deal with a united from at Brookfield. That won’t be a doddle for them.

Ed brought David chips: Thurs 05.07.12

The Archers Thursday 5th July 2012

• Driving Ruth Archer
• Listen to Kenton?
• Ian has a hangover
• Bog snorkelling, stilt racing, marrow putting and cheese rolling
• Performance Arts strikes terror
• Adam tells David to put his family first
• The badgers have to be released at 8am
• Ed’s staying firm

Driving Ruth Archer

Kenton collected Ruth early to driver her to Heather’s, to go and get Josh and Ben back.

[Ruth] “I can’t believe I spent all last week bullying David … and now … You know what gets me, every time that creep phones us he gets exactly what he wants … total panic and … I just wish I didn’t take the bait every time.”

[Kenton] “Well, they’re threatening your kids.”

Ruth feels weak compared to David – who is still of the opinion that they shouldn’t really panic until something actually happens to them.

But, as Ruth points out to herself, look what happened to Adam …

But anyhoo, Ruth feels like an idiot. Even the roadside artwork is taking the Michael:

[Ruth] “That damn stone badger by the roundabout must be having a good laugh at me.”

[Kenton] “Not your favourite animal then?”

[Ruth] “Definitely not!”

And she also warns him about the horror of the result of a visit to Heather’s:

[Ruth] “Just make sure you don’t end up with a load or marmalade. Anyone who comes is fair game.”

(I’d like some homemade marmalade. Sounds marvellous!)


Listen to Kenton?

Not many people do, but they should, on occasion.

Kenton is the only one to have spotted that while the gang said they knew where the kids were, they didn’t actually say where the kids were.

All a bluff.

Later on, Kenton tells Ruth about a “close friend” who has a similar problem to David’s. She’d been attached, but decided not to tell anyone.

[Kenton] “She was so scared, she couldn’t face it … but in the end … someone else got badly hurt and the man was caught … she really wishes she’d had the courage to stand up earlier.”

He claims he was only wanted to mention it as an example. As “food for thought”. Though one suspects that Kenton most definitely thinks David should testify.

And who was Kenton’s close friend? Kathy (when she was attached by Owen King)


Ian has a hangover

Seems the Picker night out at The Bull went very well indeed.

Though Adam is fine, Ian’s now got a bit of a sore head.


Bog snorkelling, stilt racing, marrow putting and cheese rolling

Kenton’s telling Ruth his (slowly forming) plans for the Community Games at the Fete.

[Kenton] “Bog snorkelling …”

[Ruth] “So, where exactly is the bog going to be?”

[Kenton] “A race in stilts might be another fun idea … marrow putting might be another contender … and cheese rolling.”

Kenton’s not remotely dissuaded by Ruth reminding him that the bit of land he’ll be using for the games is on a slope, and next to a river.


Performance Arts strikes terror

Seems Jim is doing his best to avoid Lynda and any mention of the ‘performance art’ she’s organising for the Cultural Olympiad.

[Kenton] “Now she’s all over the trials and tribulations of Britain in Bloom, she can start on me.”

Adam tells David to put his family first

David told Adam about the pressure he and Ruth have been under (after Adam to know what was going on).

Adam tells David that he won’t blame him if he pulls out from testifying.

[David] !I just don’t know what to do for the best.”

[Adam] “You know what Ruth feels about it. The kids’ safety is what matters, simple as that. I reckon it’s time you gave her your support.”

[David] “Maybe it is.”

The badgers have to be released at 8am

On his way home, Ed bough chips for himself and David (what with all the womenfolk away).

Sounds like he really (really!) enjoyed the badger vaccination course.

He told David that there’s very strict rules about trapping the badgers. They have to be let out at a certain time:

[Ed] “That’s the rule. By 8 at the very latest.”

[David] “What, they read you through their rights don’t they?”

[Ed] “They’re happy munching peanuts in the dark but they get a bit twitchy after dawn … it’s very quick though., You shave a patch with the clippers, mark them with a spray, shot from the hypodermic, and they’re scuttling off to bed … I even did okay on the theory.”

Well done Ed. That’s good news for the badgers. Even David managed to listen to Ed’s enthusiasm without getting angry that they’re not just going to cull the badgers.


Ed’s staying firm

Ed wanted David to know that he’s “not budging from Rickyard”.

[David] “It’ll be good to know you’re there.”

Though Emma has fled, Ed appreciates the support David and Ruth have always given to him. So he’ll be there to return the favour, when and if he’s needed.

Kate is up to adult naughtiness: Thurs 05/07/12

Ambridge Extra Thursday 5th July

• Lucas needs his suit
• Phoebe wants to stay
• At least Lucas is a good dad
• Lucas’ family adds to the pressure
• Kate + Johan = bad decision making

Lucas needs his suit

To be specific, his blue one.

[Lucas] “Kate, you could at least pretend you care.”

Difficult for Kate to do so. She is Kate, after all. So generally has no care for anyone who isn’t Kate.

And Lucas isn’t caring about what her thoughts are on him going for this new job, and possibly moving her and their family. So why should she care in turn? Especially when he only mentions his suit in the context of him wanting Kate to collect it from the drycleaners.


Phoebe wants to stay

So – Phoebe has a friend called Mandisa. Mandisa’s sister is going out with Milton. Milton is the chap who drove Phoebe home the other week. Phoebe, and Mandisa, fancy Milton. He’s seemingly “hot”, has a great car and has a rich dad.

Though Milton seems to see Phoebe just as a kid.

Milton tells Mandisa that he and his pals are going to go camping in August. Mandisa begs for herself and Phoebe to get to go with them. Even though it’s after Phoebe is booked to fly home.

[Mandisa] “So there’s only one answer, don’t go back to England, stay here for longer.”

At least Lucas is a good dad

Lucas certainly makes up for Kate being a rubbish mum (though the jury is out on whether Lucas is a bad ‘un, which shows up in the way he treats Kate – or if Kate has driven him to act like a bad ‘un because of the way she’s treated him).

While he’s away for the job interview, Kate also has to go into work. So she’s got Lucas’ mum looking after their young ‘uns, while Phoebe’s off out with her pals.

Only Lucas has concerns about Phoebe being out. Especially after what happened the other night:

[Lucas] “Right here, on our own doorstep.”

[Kate] “It was only a local boy, messing around.”

[Lucas] “She shouldn’t taking these risks … and if you don’t understand it either … undermining my authority whenever I try and warn her … it’s about keeping our kids safe and well, isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?”

Indeed they are.

But Kate does not concur. She reckons she’s trying to give Phoebe “space” to enjoy herself before she has to go back to Ambridge. Which is rubbish. This is about Kate wanting what Kate wants. And not giving a hoot about whether her ‘daughter’ is safe.

Typical Kate indeed.


Lucas’ family adds to the pressure

Kate bumps into Luca’s dad Michael while she’s at work in the University.

[Michael] “I’m wearing my wise old academic’s hat this afternoon.”

But down to business – Michael wants Kate to put herself to one side for Lucas’ career:

[Michael] “He’s too proud to complain, but his job here was getting him nowhere  ... he’s overqualified … he’ll have a chance to punch his full weight and make him so happy … I know you’ll support him.”

Hmmm. That sounded like Michael telling Kate what to do.

Oops.


Kate + Johan = bad decision making
As predicted, Kate gets up to naughtiness with her colleague. A bloke called Johan (Roux?)

[Johan] “Hey, you’re a marvel, a real wonder woman … has anyone ever told you that?”

[Kate] “No, not lately … What am I going to do. He just won’t listen to me … I can’t go away and leave all this … everything I care about. It’s been so hard, I’ve been so lonely.”

[Johan] “Kate, you deserve better than this.”

[Kate] “The whole family is against me. Pushing me into a corner.”

They kiss.

[Johan] “Does that help?”

[Kate] “This is wrong. I shouldn’t.”

[Johan] “Sometimes when I’m with you, I just want to be with you, to reach out and hold you … You are a brilliant, wonderful, wise, very beautiful young woman, any man would be so lucky to have you. Let me take care of you. I won’t let you down.”

[Kate] “Is this really happening … it’s just so strange for me.”

Just as they’re kissing again, Phoebe calls.

Kate tells Phoebe she’s busy, while Johan is pushing Kate to be quick so that they can get back to their petting.

Phoebe asks if she can stay an extra month.

[Kate] “Well, maybe … yes, yes, alright then, you can stay.”

Oh for pity sake!

I know we could all see that coming but there’s always hope that Kate won’t turn out to be as bad as we think Kate to be. Well, hope until Kate opens her mouth.

Hayley, Roy, Vicky, Mike, Jennifer, Brian … et al will be so pleased to hear of Kate’s carefully considered decision.

The kids aren’t even safe at Heather’s: Wed 04.07.12

(who’d have thought it … !)

The Archers Wednesday 4th July 2012

• Yet more chat about cigarettes
• The Ambridge games will be international
• Going to the pub doesn’t come naturally for Adam
• Ruth does some mopping
• “YOU BASTARD!”
• Jill Vs. the Gang
• Seems Pavel is a bit of a dish
• What interview?
• Ambridge Mixed Vs. St Mags
• “Gość w dom, woda w zupie”
• Was Ian enjoyng Pavel’s humour too much?

Yet more chat about cigarettes

If I didn’t know about just being one amongst millions, I’d swear the residents of Ambridge were trying to wind me up.

It was one of Adam’s fruit pickers again. Pavel. Adam caught him, again, skiving off to have a cigarette.

The later, Ian and Pavel were talking cigarettes again. Ian’s a smoker, so is on Pavel’s rather than Adam’s side.

[Ian] “He doesn’t understand the weakness.”

Seems every eavesdropping episode of the last 12 days has had a mention of smoking.

Though the last 12 days have also been completely smoke free for me …


The Ambridge games will be international

Pavel’s getting a team together. After he’d seen a poster asking for teams to sign up. And after some bloke in Jaxx had encouraged him … Pavel was surprised to hear Adam say that was his cousin, Kenton.

You can always spot a newcomer to Ambridge. They don’t know that nearly everyone has sprung from the same Archer well!


Going to the pub doesn’t come naturally for Adam

Bless.

Adam still hadn’t thought of a replacement for the cancelled Tree Top Adventure fruit picker trip.

Pavel suggested the pub.

Adam was astonished! He’d never have thought a herd of young people, far away from home, would enjoy spending time in a public house.

And the wee toots has to beg Ian to accompany them, for moral support.


Ruth does some mopping

As Emma’s called in to say she can’t make it.

Darn that Emma. Ruth probably had to spend a few hours trying to work out which end to use.


“YOU BASTARD!”

The phone goes at Brookfield. David answers:

[Bad man] “Quiet without the kids, isn’t it … we know where they are …”

[David] “YOU BASTARD. You touch my kids … “

Oh my.

David’s quite right to wonder how the gang know where the kids are.

I suppose they could have followed Ruth when she dropped them off.

Or tapped the phones.

Or are checking Josh’s Facebook (and the like).

But.

More likely the gang can only see that the kids have gone. They’re just playing on David and Ruth’s already frayed nerves.


Jill Vs. the Gang

My money would always be on Jill, no question.

David and Ruth phone Jill right after they’d phoned Heather.

Jill brings her patented calm and jolly good sense. She stops Ruth trying to drive to get Ben and Josh there and then.

[Jill] “It wouldn’t be safe. Not when you’re very upset. It’s a very long way.”

Ruth starts flapping and getting angry.

[Jill] “Look, you out the kettle on David, I want to make a quick call … Right, it’s all sorted … just spoken to Kenton, he’s going to drive you up there in the morning … I knew he’d want to help.”

Good old Jill. She then pops off to make scrambled eggs (easy to get down no matter what, apparently).

And good old Kenton. Nice to see Jill remembering that he can be of use, sometimes.

[Ruth] “I thought they were safe. Maybe they’re not safe anywhere.”

When Jill left the room, Jill then sounded wobbly herself. Seems she was being strong for Ruth.

[David] “I’ve done nothing have I? Do why do I feel that all this is my fault?”

Seems Pavel is a bit of a dish

There seems to be a flood of handsome new men arriving in Ambridge.

Alice is in the pub with Adam, Ian and the pickers – she reckons Pavel is quite tasty indeed.

[Adam] “Ah, if you like the wild, unkept look.”

What interview?

Seems Alice had her interview today. It was a call back. She seemed very nervous about whether she had done well or not.

Did I miss a previous mention of an important interview?


Ambridge Mixed Vs. St Mags

Alice reckons the game against her old school St Mags will be a tough one for Ambridge’s Mixed youngsters cricket teams. Seems St Mags is a “team to be reckoned with.”

[Adam] “That might ruffle a few feathers ...Playing girls against girls … does she have any idea how determined Jamie and Dan are going to be.”

[Alice] “Out for a duck to a female bowler!”

“Gość w dom, woda w zupie”

Is what I think Pavel was teaching Ian to say?

“Guest in the house, water in the soup”

(and please excuse me if I have that completely wrong – had to use Google Translate rather than Babel Fish, which seems to be down)


Was Ian enjoyng Pavel’s humour too much?

Hard to tell, what with Pavel being sooo handsome, but Ian always being sooo nice to everyone.

I wouldn’t have thought so though.

That’s just not Ian’s style.

Judged by Britain in Bloom: Tues 03.07.12

The Archers Tuesday 3rd July 2012

• After all that fuss …
• Marcia fancies Joe?
• Kenton wants you … but won’t say what for
• Keira the Destroyer
• Keith’s not a happy man
• Ignorance is not sexy, Tracey

After all that fuss …

… it was a bit of a slow day in Ambridge.

Shame, really.


Marcia fancies Joe?

So, the great day has arrived.

After all that harassing and demanding, Lynda gets to present Ambridge to the Britain in Bloom judges.

One of who is called Marcia Greeve. The other Douglas (but Douglas doesn’t speak).

[Tracey] “Susan was polishing the veg for them … everyone’s gone bonkers””

It seems to all go fine. She and Jim do the honours.

Well, until Joe and Bartleby clip-clop by to catch Marcia’s eye …

Lynda disentangles them from Joe, only to find Jim steering the judges towards no. 8 The Green. Mind on that this was the only house to not follow the prescribed red, white and blue flower theme. They went yellow …

BUT.

Marcia loved it.

[Marcia] “It’s gaudy, but not garish.”

Jim was beside himself with glee with Marcia said that! What a wicked boy he is to Lynda.
They moved onto the Community Orchard.

Where Joe’s waiting to give them a nip of his cider.

[Lynda, horrified] “Joe’s a real character isn’t he?”

[Marcia] “He’s a real sweetie.”

(if Joe wasn’t 90, and Marcia sounded in her 30s or 40s, I’d have thought we were about to have an Autumn romance)

After all was said and done:

[Jim] “I think that all went rather well.”

[Lynda] “Yes, yes I suppose so … apart from Joe hijacking.”

Though Jim thinks that Marcia liked Joe, and her taking to him was an advantage. Joe certainly thinks so:

[Joe] “Wouldn’t be surprised if I swung the result in our favour.”

Though Joe is more than aware that his ‘help’ wasn’t welcomed by Lynda:

[Joe] “… every time I appeared she tuned a funny colour /… me and Bartleby were more than a match for her!”

Kenton wants you … but won’t say what for

Seems Kenton’s posters for the sport bit of the Fete are up and about. They have a space for people to sign up to teams. But, the posters don’t mention what the teams will be doing.

Mind you, Lynda’s performance art sounds more worrying than anything Kenton might have planned.


Keira the Destroyer

Just as the judges are about to come to the Village Shop, Emma and Ed’s Keira starts rearranging it.

[Susan] “Good job I noticed what she did to that tub earlier”

(what? What did Keira do to the tub?!? We must be told)

As Lynda arrives at the shop with the judges, she’s trying to tell them about volunteering, when she’s drowned out by Keira’s crying.

Though it’s okay.

Marcia is distracted by the phone box and it’s lovely, lovely flowers.


Keith’s not a happy man

In fact, he sounds near suicidal.

He’s in Ambridge for a hair and make-up rehearsal at Susan’s before the wedding. Well, that’s something most men would turn pale at the thought of …

[Tracey] “You should see Chelsea. She’s like a bottle of pop!”

Better still. Hyper little girls.

It all sounded very raucous at Susan. Even Emma though it was too much – Tracey was supposed to be keeping them all calm:

[Emma] “It would be nice of Tracey lent a hand … doesn’t sound like she’s doing too good a job of it.”

Then Chelsea’s hamster got loose …

Keith eventually winds up in The Bull having a chat with Joe. He sounds beyond despondent.

[Keith] “This one’s costing me an arm and several legs … to be honest Joe; I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”

Oops.

Sounds like this wedding is on the never ever (never!).


Ignorance is not sexy, Tracey

Tracey has been trying to make lamb samosas. Something to do with trying to win Ifty’s affections.

That’s so wrong, on so many levels, that I actually don’t want to discuss it.

(by the way – seems Ifty’s surname is Sha)

We’re in South Africa!: Ambridge Extra Tues 03.07.12

(amazed the BBC had the budget to send the secret microphones over there)

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 3rd July 2012

• Took me a whole to realise who was talking
• Lucas is a bad ‘un?
• It’s dangerous after dark
• Kate has a bit on the side?

Took me a whole to realise who was talking

[Kate] “Blueberry, pistachio then tooty fruity.”

[Phoebe] “Number’s three got to be chocolate chip, beats tooty fruity mum, you’re just so 20th century!”

It wasn’t until they mentioned Melville, then Johannesburg, that I worked out who was talking.

Hope they don’t keep up the habit of not mentioning each other by name when they talk near the hidden microphones. How would a new eavesdropper cope?


Lucas is a bad ‘un?

When Kate and Phoebe got in from their shopping and ice cream, the first thing Lucas says is:

[Lucas] “Well I could use a drink, if you’re standing there … wait, wait my watch, there on the side, can you bring it … no no, other wrist, And how about that drink, uh …”

What what what?!?!?

Not only did Lucas speak like that to Kate.

Kate actually did his bidding without complaint.

I’d almost believe her horrible behaviour back in Ambridge is due to being bullied at home.

That she’s always been like that is too established to believe otherwise.

BUT

For the first time ever, I did feel a twinge of something other than just pure fury towards Kate.

Lucas then tells Kate he wants them all to move to Durban. Seems he’s feels his career as a journalist has gone nowhere in the last ten years, so a move to Durban for a more senior job will be his last real chance. Has way through telling (no discussing or talking, mind):

[Lucas] “Hey. Get me another one of those and please, no ice this time.”

(and she does)

Though Kate makes mention of a new projects she’s just starting:

[Lucas] “You can work anywhere.”

(and a wee taste of the life Kate has been accustomed – they’d be able to get a full time nanny rather than ‘just’ a part time maid to look after the kids … hark then!)

Lucas wants the better job, a bigger house and more money. And it doesn’t matter if his family is settled. And that they already moved from Capetown to Johannesburg.

Sound like what Lucas wants, Lucas gets.

Even when Kate tells him their boy Sipho is ill, all Lucas can say is that he hopes he doesn’t get it.


It’s dangerous after dark

On her way out to meet her mates, Phoebe was waylaid by a rather dubious man. He thought she was a tourist at first. The get ever more ‘friendly’ when she told him she is a local.

[Rather dubious man] “… well okay, if you’re looking for a fun time, I know this really sick party tonight … some real action, you know what I’m saying … I can take you there now.”

Phoebe quite sensibly speeds off to her mates.

Later on, through one of Phoebe’s friends (Mervin) drives her home, Phoebe makes him stop early so she has to walk the last of it. In the dark.

That’s because she doesn’t think Lucas will be too please about her being late, in a ‘cool’ care, driven by a College aged chap.

[Phoebe] “Well, my stepdad, he’s quite strict you know. He can come on heavy sometimes.”

(she Lucas is a bad ‘un)

When Phoebe gets out of the car and starts walking, that rather dubious man is there again.

[Rather dubious man] “Well, well well. It’s the cute English lady, all out on her own again … why don’t you let me know after you.”

The rather dubious man mentioned somebody about how Phoebe should watch out for folks trying to steal her “turkeys” (I know it wasn’t turnkeys, but that’s what it sounded like. Phoebe also said it, and it still sounded like turkeys).

[Rather dubious man] “Smart girl eh, think she’s smarter than the rest of us. Smart girl, in a smart home in a smart neighbourhood …”

Phoebe gets her phone out to show him she’s calling her parents, but he wants to “take a look” at her phone.

Just as it looks like it’s about to turn nasty for Phoebe, Lucas comes out looking for her.

[Lucas] “I’m talking my daughter inside now!”

(the rather dubious man laughs at Lucas for calling Phoebe his daughter …)

[Rather dubious man] “… that’s one tasty little stepdaughter you’ve got. You should take good care of her …”

When Lucas gets Phoebe away from the rather dubious man, he talks very reasonably and calmly to Phoebe:

[Lucas] “You know there are plenty of people who get mugged out there by idiots.”

Huh.

So Lucas may not be a bad ‘un after all.


Kate has a bit on the side?

Kate was talking on the phone to someone about Lucas.

[Kate] “It’s like he’s turned into another guy. Someone I don’t even know.”

Sounds like the person Kate is talking to is someone she trusts and like.

Kate also mentioned that she shouldn’t be “dumping” on them as it’s “not professional” of her. And she called this person “kind and sweet”.

Well, well.

I couldn’t catch what the names of the other person was, so no idea if male or female (actually, would that even matter to Kate), but it sounded a tad suspicious …

Jill shouts at Elizabeth: Mon 02.07.12

The Archers Monday 2nd July 2012

• Jennifer’s a mum first
• Fruit pickers can’t make decisions
• Tea at the Orangery turns nasty
• Three minutes for a cigarette
• Save the Valley Farm Swifts!
• Did Adam come close to the Ambridge Beast?
• Elizabeth pretends to be interested
• Why won’t Brian tell us who the driver is?
• Adam’s swithering

Jennifer’s a mum first

And she won’t stop nagging until her (eldest) wee boy looks after himself.

Even though Adam got the all clear from the hospital (so far):

[Jennifer] “It doesn’t mean you can go at things hammer and tongs, you know.”

Adam tells her that they still haven’t got a driver for the combine (which Adam was to sort, then Brian, who punted it back to Adam, only for it to go back to Brian when Jennifer noticed Adam was a tad overworked. BUT looks like Brian’s let it be rather than sort it).

Jennifer later tells Brian that he needs to concentrate on Home Farm, rather than the Super Dairy, especially with the harvest looming.

But actually, Adam’s really quite happy back at work.

[Adam] “Moments like these it feels good to be back at work.”

He’s looking forward to the harvest. Despite it being such a hard slog.

[Adam] “And the great thing is, at the end of the day, you’ve got a barn full of food.”

Fruit pickers can’t make decisions

According to Adam.

He hasn’t thought of a replacement trip out (in place of the Tree Top Adventure), but won’t consider asking the pickers. They don’t do decisions easily, apparently.


Tea at the Orangery turns nasty

[Jill] “Lovely to hear from you darling, hold on. I’ll just drop my trowel.”

Elizabeth calls Jill, just as Jill has to redo the Village Shop planters, on Lynda’s command. Lynda’s being very specific about when plants have to be watered, and Jill also has to do the baking for the judges’ visit. Jill is most delighted to be interrupted and invited for tea.

[Jill] “That would be wonderful Elizabeth; I could escape Lynda’s clutches for an hour at least.”

When Jill arrives, they chat about this and that.

This, being the Britain in Bloom efforts:

[Jill] “Well it has been very rewarding, of course seeing the village looking so lovely.”

That, being that Lower Loxley wine didn’t place in the UK Vinters' competition, but that it did get positive comments which Elizabeth can use to improve.

Then, onto the elephant in the room. Jill makes mention of popping over the Brookfield later on:

[Elizabeth] “So, how are things?”

[Jill] “Well, difficult. As you can imagine.”

[Elizabeth] “Honestly mum, I don’t know what David thinks he’s doing!”

[Jill] “He’s taking care of his family, of course.”

[Elizabeth] “I just thought … well … He always seems to make the wrong decision, doesn’t he?”

[Jill] “What do you mean?”

[Elizabeth] “Well, why’s he so set on giving evidence? Surely the most important thing is keeping his family safe.”

[Jill] “He is keeping them safe.”

[Elizabeth] “By sending them away?”

[Jill] “The situation is far more complicated than you Elizabeth … and assessing it in such a black and white way really isn’t helpful at all.”

Jill then walks out. Just as Hayley comes to ask Elizabeth if she can leave early to buy a lampshade.

Oh dear.

We hadn’t heard from Elizabeth for such a long time, but she comes right back in to start an argument!


Three minutes for a cigarette

Adam’s having a moan about one of his pickers (Pavrol? Spelling?!?) always “slacking off” for a cigarette.

[Ian] “Give the lad a break. It’d take him three minutes max.”

Course, as Adam pointed out, Ian would know!

And I can concur. Due to a previous life in retail, I could smoke two and a half cigarettes in a 15 minute break.

Must also mention that there’s been a lot of mentions about smoking near the hidden microphones lately. Though I could be over sensitive. Only 10 days without a cigarette so far …


Save the Valley Farm Swifts!

Now that’s something for Hattie and her crew to get her teeth into.

A whole back, Brian took Jennifer for a nice walk, which just happened to end up at a place called Valley Farm. It just so happens the owners might be willing to sell, and it just so happens that it’d be perfect for accommodation for the Super Dairy works.

It also just so happens to have swifts nesting.

[Jennifer] “Don’t forget what I said about the swifts … it’s their home too!”

Did Adam come close to the Ambridge Beast?

[Adam] “I might have encountered Lynda’s wild beast when I was up at Haydn Berry this morning … well there was definitely something crashing through the undergrowth.”

[Ian] “What, you don’t think it was Lynda and Scruff?”

[Adam] “I just heard this mad snorting and snuffling.”

[Ian] “Bound to be her then. She’s doing a lot of snorting at the moment!”

Shouldn’t that be sniffing? That’d be more Lynda’s style.

And what happened to Neil’s great discovery of a wild boar the other day? Susan was so excited, so it surely should have been front page news by now?


Elizabeth pretends to be interested

In Hayley’s talk of redecorating Phoebe’s bedroom.

[Elizabeth] “Phoebe’s going to love it, I’m sure.”

[Hayley] “She was in her pink phase when she went away.”

Why won’t Brian tell us who the driver is?

He has sorted someone for the combine driving, but is keeping secret of who it is.

Why?

What on earth could be the surprise?


Adam’s swithering

[Adam] “Look, you’ve made a really good case. When I’m listening to you, I know I should be encouraging David, telling him to face them down and give evidence.”

[Ian] “Well that’s what seems right to me.”

[Adam] “In theory, yeah. But, they’re family. What am I putting them through? Ruth begged me last week to persuade David to pull out. She was in pieces, and I was standing there thinking this is all down to me.”

[Ian] “You're the victim in this, don’t forget get that.”

[Adam] “Ok. But that really doesn’t help them, does it … if you’re right, and David should stand firm, how on earth am I going to tell Ruth?”

Difficult.

If something does happen, the guilt will be unbearable.

But, if the gang gets free, how can Adam ever sleep sound?

It’s all about Emma: Sun 01.07.12

The Archers Sunday 1st July 2012

• Ruth’s back
• Emma, Emma, Emma
• Has David lost all sense?
• Don’t race cars with Neil
• Chilli and rice at Brookfield

Ruth’s back

[Emma] “I don’t know how he’s managed to keep going this last week.”

Emma and Ed also talked about how odd it was for David to sound off at Ed the other day.

When Ruth gets back in, David tells her that Tog (who’s being a tad annoying) is missing Josh and Ben. As is David.

Heather’s up to her usual:

[Ruth] “She sent you half a tonne of marmalade.”

And Ruth feels lost to be home without her kids.

[Ruth] “They do feel very far away, but I’m glad even so.”

But Josh and Ben are safe. And still having to do their homework.

(out of interest – are kids now able to get their homework online? Ruth said something about Josh having to log into the school website)

[Ruth] “I’m just relieved they’re off the farm.”

As is David. He agrees that they couldn’t have gone on trying to keep tabs on the kids.

[David] “At least now we can just concentrate in the harvest.”

Though it is too quiet now at Brookfield.

Let’s hope it does stay quiet for a fair while.


Emma, Emma, Emma

Seriously, that’s all Emma ever thinks about.

[Emma] “But what if they did something again and we were in the way, anything could happened ...you should have pulled out when I said.”

Actually, Emma is quite right that she (or Ed, Keira and George) could get hurt. The gang didn’t care about those visitors to Open Farm Sunday being in the way of those bullocks.

But it’s the way she always seem to talk and think about herself first – well above Ed, Keira and George, let alone any non-family.

She’s putting the pressure on Ed not to go on the badger vaccination course, when he’s only doing it to be able to earn more money. Something they badly need since Emma quit working regularly at Lower Loxley.

Later on:

[Ed] “Emma, George just told me he and Keira are off on their holiday. It’s news to me.”

Emma’s told Susan about what’s been happening. And has decided to take herself, Keira and George off to stay at Susan’s.

[Emma] “I just won’t feel safe without you here. I have told you!”

And she wants Ed to drive them there now.

They go to Brookfield first to tell David and Ruth. Ruth gives Emma marmalade Heather had also sent down for them:

[Ruth] “She makes enough to feed an army every year, so you’ll be doing her a favour.”

Though Ruth isn’t as jolly when Emma tells them of their plans.

[Ruth] “Feels a bit like rats leaving a sinking ship, doesn’t it.”

At Susan’s, Susan is fussing and delighted to have them there. She’s especially keen to make sure the pillowcases are allocated properly:

[Susan] “Make sure George gets his Fireman Sam.”

And on the Brookfield being threatened saga:

[Susan] “It’s terrible they should be put in the position of having to send their kids away. What is the world coming to?”

As Ed gets ready to leave Emma and his kids, he sounds beyond upset.

[Emma] “I hope I’ve done the right thing.”

What?

Was that Emma sensing that she might have stopped to think about someone else for a change?

I don’t disagree with Emma leaving Rickyard for a few days, but I do take umbrage with the way she’s treated Ed.


Has David lost all sense?

David was talking about going to the Borchester Show on Wednesday.

[David] “If only to keep up appearances .. I’d rather we didn’t have to go public on what’s actually been happening here.”

[Ruth] “You think this is still a private problem?”

She then lists everyone who knows. That very long list includes Susan. Which means it’ll be common knowledge in no time.

So David later decides not to go to the show. Helen and Tony will be there anyway, so can tell me the gossip.

[David] “Anyway. There’s no way I want to leave you here on your own.”

Very sensible indeed.

But very daft to think a secret can be kept in Ambridge for any amount of time. Especially when Susan knows.


Don’t race cars with Neil

Even with kids, he insists on playing to the letter:

[Susan] “He’s like a big kid himself, arguing the toss about the rules.”

Chilli and rice at Brookfield

Even without anything in, Ruth still manages to make more than a pizza.

She even cooks too much rice.

[Ruth] “I’m so used to cooking for five.”

Now, steady on Ruth.

You’ll have us believing you create culinary delights for your family every day of the week!