The Archers Monday 11th April 2011: Caroline is most annoyed!

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• Oliver!
• Roy’s made his decision
• Jolene prefers Kathy angry
• “Easter at The Bull is always a blast”
• “Oh damn!”
• Elizabeth better watch her back
• Time to quit?

Oliver!

Hurrah! I do like it when one of my favoured Ambridge residents pops back again, after a bit of an absence.

Welcome back Oliver!


Roy’s made his decision

It’s to take Elizabeth’s offer of a spanky new job!

So, all he has to do is tell Caroline.

Which won’t be easy. She’s on a mission to gather her VAT paperwork before seeing her accountant. That Grey Gables has also managed to hold its own on during the recession has had a lot to do with Roy, according to Oliver and Caroline:

[Oliver] “I know how much Caroline relies on you”

Oh dear. This isn’t going to be too easy for Roy.


Jolene prefers Kathy angry

Jolene calls Kathy to tell her that she tried with Jamie, but he still isn’t interested in going home to Kathy.

Kathy isn’t upset, as she has come to expect nothing from Jamie.

And Kathy not being upset is unsettling Jolene.

[Jolene] “It was easier when Kathy was blaming me., I know I was in the right then”

“Easter at The Bull is always a blast”

So reckons Fallon.

She’s trying to reassure Jolene that all will be well with her (and Jamie) while Jolene goes on her trip to Monte Carlo.

Harry is going to run a bull match in the garden, and Fallon is organising the Easter egg hunt.

Question is – what is a bull match?

And will Molly Button burst into the tears at the sight of someone dressed up as the Easter bunny?

Or, was it just Sid that was terrifying as a bunny?!?


“Oh damn!”

Roy’s trying to tell Caroline that he’s handing in her notice, but she’s distracted trying to find her VAT paperwork.

But she finally twigs, as she hears him thanking her for giving him a chance all those years back, thanks for all the training, that he’s loved working at Grey Gables …

[Caroline] “It’s starting to sound like a farewell speech”

[Roy] “I’m afraid, that’s what it is …it’s the perfect job … it’s with lower Loxley”

[Caroline] “I see … if it’s a question of money …”

But Roy is firm. He can stay in the area while getting significant promotion, work at the same place as Hayley, and still help Elizabeth.

So Roy ain't for turning.

As soon as he walks out the door.

[Caroline] “Oh damn. Damn and blast!”

Elizabeth better watch her back

Although Oliver managed to calm Caroline down, she is absolutely furious at losing Roy

[Caroline] “That’s the last time I do anyone a good turn … it’s a catastrophe … after all I did for Elizabeth … I actually offered him to her … and that’s the thanks I get. Well, never again!”

But, as Oliver reasoned, Caroline wouldn’t have sat back and let Elizabeth go under, so would have lent her Roy even if she knew there was a chance of Roy then leaving.

Caroline’s just a nice lady.

Unlike Elizabeth, who couldn’t give a hoot about her friends and neighbours.

Lest we forget that Elizabeth could have solved her problems by hiring in a professional manager. Which would have avoided the horrible time David and Ruth had (when he was always at Lower Loxley), and wouldn’t have meant Roy had to be loaned to her in the first place.

Caroline’s so sound up that she’s even thinking of not replacing Roy – saving money and hassle, but it would mean her then having to do all of his work herself.

Which Oliver won’t hear of. He retired so that they could spend more time together.

Haven’t they forgotten something?

The answer to their lack-of-Roy has a very simple solution.

Promote Lynda!


Time to quit?

Jolene reckons she can “feel a new phase coming on” in her life.

[Jolene] “I feel like I want to mark it somehow …do something different, be the new me somehow”

I thought Kenton would jump at the chance to suggest something adult and rude – but no. He first says that he wouldn’t change a thing about her … expect her smoking.

Although Jolene has tried before, and doesn’t actually sound that keen to quit, Kenton seems determined … and takes her pack of cigarettes.

[Kenton] “No time like the present. Now, if you’re serious about this …”

Um … I didn’t hear Jolene say she was that serious.

And Kenton – most folks do not quite smoking by their boyfriend taking their fags there and then. It has to start from REALLY wanting to quit, then finding the right way to do so. Cold turkey can work, but not when it’s been foisted.

And I do speak as a smoker. It’s a disgusting habit. But I enjoy a smoke (no further justification as there really isn’t any!). If someone else told me that I should quit, and then took my tobacco … grrrr!

The Archers Sunday 11th April 2011: Girl Grundy has a name

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• Kathy has conditions
• Susan and Clarrie coo-cooing
• Ed hasn’t got a neat nose
• £10 a week!!!
• Cheeky – she does have a name after all!

Kathy has conditions

[Jolene] “Jamie, you’re asking your mum to do a very big favour”

Jamie’s in a grump as Kathy hasn’t given him an answer about whether she’ll sign his work permit.

Jolene’s trying to reason with him, but is finding that he ain’t the easiest chap to reason with.

Kathy does eventually turn up (she was having her lunch first), and asks for Jamie to leave the room first. He grumps off, leaving Jolene and Kathy alone.

[Kathy] “I’m sorry about the things I said to you last time I was here … I had no right to blame you … it's not your fault my relationship with Jamie has broken down so badly … and I can see it puts you in a difficult position”

[Jolene] “It does … and one I didn’t ask to be in”

So Kathy’s big enough to clear the air – though it has to be said that Jolene didn’t make it that easy for her. And, Kathy has decided that she will let Jamie work … on condition that he pays for his keep at The Bill:

[Kathy] “He’s got to see that what he does has consequences”

And, that if she gets another call from school about Jamie skiving off school, Kathy will withdraw her consent for him to work.

Jolene’s a bit put out to hear Jamie has been bunking off, and reckons Kathy’s conditions are all well and good.

So both agree that it’s better Jamie is working than off out with his mates. Even if Jolene is getting a bit worried that Jamie’s never actually going to go home.

Well, she did say that The Bull was his home … I reckon Kathy should stop chasing after him, and settle down to a peaceful life of her own.



Susan and Clarrie coo-cooing

[Susan] “It’s so nice to have a little girl to buy for”

[Clarrie] “Well it is for me, I ain’t never done it before”

They’re both off round to see Girl Grundy laden with presents, but are still a bit perturbed that she still hasn’t got a name.

I reckon Girl Grundy would do her just fine.


Ed hasn’t got a neat nose

Really?

I always saw Ed as a bit of a perfectly built farmer hunk.

Certainly more so than Will. He’s always struck me having been hit with the ugly stick at birth.

Girl Grundy seems to at least take after her uncle in temperament.

[Emma] “She just gets angry and likes everyone to know it”

£10 a week!!!

So Kathy and Jolene tell Jamie that he can work, but that he does have to pay Jolene some keep:

[Jamie] “What? But I don’t eat that much, and I’m out all the time!”

He is a bit horrified to be told that he’ll have to pay a whole £10 a week to Jolene, but settled down to that, and not mucking up at school, when he realised that he was actually getting his way.

Wonder if he’ll still think that when he does actually have to work? More money for cider, but less time to drink it in …

Jolene has another punt at making sure that Jamie understands he’s not staying at The Bull permanently, but he really doesn’t seem to be listening.

[Jolene] “The ideal is for you to go home … (Kathy) is more than meeting you half way”

But Jamie isn’t having it.

Feet under the table, money in his pocket, and no nagging.

Sounds perfect. And I am enjoying the peace from Kathy and Jamie screeching at each other.


Cheeky – she does have a name after all!

Ed and Emma had chosen a name for Girl Grundy, so were just winding them up by not telling Susan and Clarrie.

Clarrie tells them that she called Will after Prince William.

[Ed] “I see! He gets royalty, and I get dad”

Then Ed and Emma finally put Susan and Clarrie out of their misery.

Welcome, welcome to Keira Susan.

One would assume the Keira is after Keira Knightley.

And Susan is both after Susan (Emma’s mum), and Ed’s grandma.

Aw. That’s nice.

So Girl Grundy becomes Keira, and another Grundy is formally introduced to the world.

The Archers Friday 8th April 2011: Lynda strongly dislikes Hilary Noakes

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• “I’m starting to see what Kathy’s up against”
• Money, flattery, a car AND Elizabeth open to suggestions
• Lucky escape for Jim
• Experience Vs Cockatoos
• Work permit?

“I’m starting to see what Kathy’s up against”

I do have a soft spot for Jolene, but part of me is starting to think she deserves to be taught a lesson by Jamie.

She has been quite uncaring about Kathy’s feelings – especially considering the ‘special’ history Jolene has of stealing Kathy’s menfolk.

Jolene hasn’t tried to help Kathy in getting Jamie back home (or at least talking to her).

So it’s karma that she’s now facing the same problems with Jamie that Kathy had to cope with. Staying out. Slipping school. Pretending to study.

Jolene and Fallon's approach to Jamie is the soft side of marshmallows. Every time
they try to bring him back into line, he gets stroppy, throws in a bit of emotional blackmail, and they cave:

[Fallon] “No one’s going to force you to do anything”

[Jamie] “Good. Because you can’t”

Or rather, they won’t.

So, despite very slight efforts to try and get Jamie to go back home, looks like they have him for keeps.

Or until he does start stealing from The Bull.



Money, flattery, a car AND Elizabeth open to suggestions

Roy is a lucky, lucky boy indeed!

He’s going to think about Elizabeth’s job offer over the weekend, but he was later very distracted and quiet when sitting near Lynda while she was talking at him.

Second thoughts? Too much responsibility? Or the weight of knowledge that Caroline and Oliver are going to be very, very disappointed.


Lucky escape for Jim

[Jim] “I’ve finally managed to escape … the massed ranks of baby worshippers”

Susan has now gone into overdrive about Emma’s giving birth to baby Girl Grundy. She seemingly has the village shop plastered with baby pictures.

Still quite perplexed that Susan wouldn’t leave her Post Officer during the birth …



Experience Vs Cockatoos

Lynda is exceedingly put out at the list of candidates for the Parish Council elections.

She has assumed that the obvious folks would get the obvious positions.
Infact, she assumed that no-one beyond the obvious would even dare to stand.

[Jim] “The list of candidates were something of a surprise”

[Lynda] “Indeed. How did I not have seen this coming?”

[Jim] “A question the noble Caesar himself might well have asked. And plenty of politicians before him. And since”

[Jim] “Eight candidates for six places. It’s almost un heard of in a parish council election in this village”

Jim’s rationale that it was great to see such local interest in local democracy just made Lynda even more furious.

[Lynda] “Local? Hilary Noakes and Richard Thwaite, they’ve only lived here 5 minutes … recent arrivals … upstarts … don’t you dare defend them .. .I blame you”

Lynda reckons it’s Jim’s fault that Richard Thwaite has been inspired by Jim’s choice for the Book Club.

Well, I suppose The Ghost is a political thriller. See here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ghost_%28novel%29

[Lynda] “He’ll have his work cut out against seasoned campaigners”

But don’t let Lynda’s bluster fool you. She is worried that she might lose the election:

[Lynda] "Hilary Noakes has been worming her way into village life ... all about gaining a footprint in the local community”

But lest we forget that Hilary Noakes has a cockatoo up her sleeve …



Work permit?

I didn’t realise youngsters needed a work permit to work. Sounds a tad draconian – especially when it’s just a young chap working in the pub he already lives above.

Jolene and Fallon have agreed that Jamie can work in the pub while he’s on holiday, but only as serving staff.

But, for Jamie to work, he has to have a work permit signed by Kathy.

So he finally calls her, and meets her next to a river to ask.

Which was a tad cruel, as Kathy thought it was a lovely spot for them to be able to sit and talk through their problems. It just like someone inviting their partner out to a nice meal, only to dump them.

[Jamie] “Look mum, I texted you because I had to!”

Well done Jamie – that’s exactly how you should go about asking someone for a favour. Be rude and berate them first!

He wasn’t exactly sweet talking his mum, at a time when he’s been downright horrible to her.

Kathy said she’d think about. She had previously stopped him working at the Golf Course during his studying, so chances are she should still tell him no.

But will Kathy cave, in an attempt to try and get back onto a good footing with Jamie?

The Archers Thursday 7th April 2011: George’s birthday, Girl Grundy’s first day home

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• Will’s got something to complain about
• “It looks like the toast is … well, toast”
• Susan left the Post Office!
• Lilian enjoys whipping builder types …
• “What am I going to do with an eight year old for an hour?”
• “She’s all yours … well, yours and mine”

Will’s got something to complain about

Or to be accurate – he’s got someone to complain about.

Will’s having a moan about George’s birthday (today) being ruined by baby Girl Grundy being born last night.

George can’t have all of his presents, as they’re at Ed’s. But Ed is milking, after being up all night. Because his daughter has just been born.

And Emma hasn’t called. But she’s a tad distracted. As she just gave birth to her daughter.

George isn’t tool happy that his mum is focused on baby Girl Grundy rather than him – which is fair enough, as he’s only 6 years old. His reaction to the ‘good news’ of his new sister:

[George] “That’s not news, that’s poos!”

But Will is supposed to be an adult, and have a bit more sense. But no.

[Will] “Trust Ed. It’s 365 days in the year but no, he has to time it so his kid arrives right on top of George’s birthday. Terrific.”

Ach, come on Will. Even you can’t believe that one.


“It looks like the toast is … well, toast”

Brian’s just about coping with having Ruairi all to himself, while Jennifer is away in South Africa.

Despite the burnt toast, Ruairi sounds fed. Dressed. Hasn’t ingested anything deadly. No broken limbs. And isn’t missing.

Later on, he does admit to Lilian that he didn’t realise there was so much work involved with looking after a kid.

Maybe he’ll appreciate Jennifer more when she returns?


Susan left the Post Office!

I knew Susan was very precious about ‘her’ Post Office, but still can’t believe she didn’t leave it to be with her daughter while she was giving birth.

That’s taking it too far.

But, at least she has now taken time away to visit Emma and baby Girl Grundy.

Now she and Clarrie can have a right good natter about their new grandchild while they work at Bridge Farm.

Clarrie is being practical about George’s birthday:

[Clarrie] “It’s lucky she made the cake before …”

Both are wondering what Ed and Emma will finally choose to call baby Girl Grundy:

[Susan] “It was different a few years ago, but there’s so many names now”

(eh???)

[Clarrie – on hearing some of their ideas for names] “Summer … but it's spring!”

(you what?!?)

[Susan – mentioning some of the names Emma had been pondering] “Saffron, Sorrel, Savannah …”

[Clarrie] “It’s all very well landing a child with a fancy name, or a celebrity name, but what if they can’t live up to it … I had to go through school being called Claris, don’t forget”

(and why just names beginning with s? Is that just that page the baby name book opened at?)

[Susan, on Clarrie suggesting Susan as a name] “Susan? They won’t want that for a name. Far too boring”

Lilian enjoys whipping builder types …

Amside got number 3 The Green (does anyone know if there’s ever been a mention of who has lived there?), so she’s quite chuffed she has a new project to get her teeth into.

And some build types to bully

[Lilian] “I enjoy it darling. Cracking the whip over the builders!”

“What am I going to do with an eight year old for an hour?”

Wasn’t Lilian utterly horrified when Brian tried to palm Ruairi off on her.

What does he think she is?

Someone with mothering experience?!?

(oh, hang on …)

But not to worry. Brian then chose to get Will to look after Ruairi – which was good thinking, as Ruairi got to go to George’s birthday party.


“She’s all yours … well, yours and mine”

Now that was a statement loaded with history.

At last – Ed and Emma has a child that is most definitely, 100%, absolutely, no question, a baby born of Ed and Emma’s union.

[Ed] “Are they really going to let us take her home. Something so beautiful and previous”

[Emma] “She’s all yours … well, yours and mine”

When they arrive back with baby Girl Grundy, it’s during George’s birthday.

And he’s none too amused.

He pushes Mia over. And has a bit of a tantrum.

[George] “No! Stupid girl. I should win, it’s my birthday. My birthday!”

Nic manages to calm things down, but Will is also throwing a bit of a tantrum. Just not as blatant as George’s (unusually so for Will)

[Will] “If those two make him feel left out, I’m going to have something to say about it. You just wait …”

I don’t think we’ll have to wait long – not by Will’s standards. The second Geo9rge has one wee complaint to make (which is bound to happen – he now has to share his mum), Will will be off down the Court to get full custody.

Marvellous! Bout time we have a bit of Will v Ed.

Ambridge Extra Thursday 7th April 2011: Facebook and underage drinking

The second eavesdropping episode of Archers extra

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Alice wakes up in Chas’ bed
• Binge drinking and boxers
• Pip fancies Spencer
• Jamie is just weak
• Chris wasn’t really bothered
• All studying, farming and no play make Pip a …
• We’d expect it of Jamie, but not Daniel
• So – was it better second time round?

Alice wakes up in Chas’ bed

[Chas] “You know for a size 10, you take up an awful lot of room in the bed”

But not to worry too much – Chas left Alice’s clothes on.

(someone needs to tell Alice that you ‘don’t have to take your, clothes off, to have a good time, oh no’ … Jermaine Stewart, ’88)



Binge drinking and boxers

So the moral of the tale is that one should not binge drink. Especially when it causes one to blank out.

Alice can’t remember leaving the club, but it sounds like Chas didn’t take advantage. Though I still think sleeping next to a comatose woman is a bit creepy.

Even creepier was when Chas popped out of his boxers in front of Alice.

He wasn’t even embarrassed. He just told Alice that she shouldn’t be looking.

Not too sure if I like, or trust, this chap.

[Chas to Alice] “Trust me, you’ve done nothing wrong”

Hmmm.


Pip fancies Spencer

Pip pops up in Ambridge Extra.

She chats to some bloke called Steve, who has a brother called Spencer, who Pip was asking after.

Steve didn’t seem to like that.

Steve fancies Pip, but Pip fancies Spencer.

(as I type that, I can be rather honest and say that I really couldn’t care!).

Anyhoo, Pip seems to have good hair these days, according to Steve.

(*sigh*)


Jamie is just weak

Turns out Steve is a mate of Jamie’s.

And he helped me to understand that Jamie really isn’t all that bad – he’s just very (very) weak willed.

It only takes a very slight application of pressure, and the mention of a video game (road racer – is that real?), to get Jamie to bunk off school.

Then Marty and Steve manage to make him go try and buy alcohol. Which really took no effort at all.

Bad tempered and weak. Oh dear.



Chris wasn’t really bothered

What was Chris going on about?

He’d tried to phone Alice 5 times, and seemed quite out-out that he’d seen a video on Facebook, of Alice behaving rather drunkenly with “some bloke” last night.

But he actually really wasn’t that put out. He let it drop just as quickly.

Odd.

Is Chris starting to not care too much about what Alice gets up to? Has he been up to his own shenanigans?


All studying, farming and no play makes Pip a …

… rather serious young woman.

Which is fine. Anything but ‘Pip in love’.

But I might be speaking too soon. As Pip is chatting to Kirsty in Jaxx (where’s she’s having a coffee over her study books … very serious young lady indeed), she agrees to do the forthcoming fun run.

The very next thing Pip does is to call Spencer to see if he wants to do it as well.

Ho hum. He can’t be any worse than Jude … surely???


We’d expect it of Jamie, but not Daniel

After being pressured to go and try some booze (at least he hasn’t stolen from The Bull … yet), Jamie’s showing his dim side.

He takes up the cider, air freshener and some mints to the counter, but hasn’t got any ID.

At first the shop lady is quite nice about refusing him, but he pushes his luck by begging. Then claiming that he was 18, as he’d been born July 1993.

Thick, thick, thick …

The shop lady is just about to call for the manager, when Daniel shows up and saves Jamie by saying that their mum was ready to go.

Outside, Daniel tells Jamie that he knows where he can buy booze – and then manages to do just that. His trick was to have his mum’s car keys in his hand (and probably didn’t come across as a complete idiot).

Jamie is a year older than Daniel, but you’d have though Daniel was at least 10 years the senior.

Daniel turns down Jamie’s offer for him to hang out with him and his mates, but maybe this is the start of Jamie and Daniel being mates again.

After all – as Daniel has proved – he’s not a complete choir boy.

By-the-by – did Jamie walk out with those mints without paying?



So – was it better second time round?

Not really.

I found myself being not too bothered about anything happening, and was soooooo relieved to hear the proper Barwick Green when I flipped over to the proper Archers.

I reckon someone, somewhere, has to admit that this extra Archers is one foe the kids.

Which is fine. For the kids.

Will I stop listening considering I don’t think it’s up to much?

Course not.

That’s the nature of addiction .. .you just can’t stop!

The Archers Wednesday 6th April 2011: It’s a Grundy girl!

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Emma’s in a flap
• I said free crisps were trouble
• Susan would choose the Post Office over her daughter?
• Kenton can correctly identify tulips
• It’s alright. Ed knows how to deliver a calf
• Fallon and Jolene eat at 5.30pm
• Jolene puts Jamie right
• “No more about the pasture dumper!”
• “She’s so perfect”

Emma’s in a flap

Emma phones Ed in a panic.

She reckons the baby is coming.

Buckle up peeps … it’s new Grundy time! And just the day before George’s birthday (which is tomorrow), but after April Fools.

Looks like Emma got her wish.



I said free crisps were trouble

Jolene’s worried about Jamie. He’s out all night, misses his tea, and was seen by Fallon to sneak a sandwich and a packet of crisps up to his room in place of proper nourishment.

[Jolene] “If anything happened to Jamie while I was looking after him, Kathy would never forgive me. Well, I would never forgive myself.”

Kenton offers to have a word, but Jolene politely refuses. That would just make matters worse, and she’s more than capable of wrestling grown, drunk men, let alone a stroppy wee teenage lad …



Susan would choose the Post Office over her daughter?

What on earth was going on?

Clarrie was nowhere to be found by phone (which is fair do – the woman does have a life of her own, sometimes. Even though she did actually have George with her, so not quite ‘me’ time).

But when Ed arrived to find Emma quite indeed in labour, she told him not to disturb Susan because she was at the Post Office.

Eh?

Is Susan that far gone about her precious Post Office that she’d rather make sure the stamps were being sold properly than rush to her daughter’s side? While her daughter is giving birth???

Odd.

Very, very odd.

Reckon Clive is out and has her hostage?



Kenton can correctly identify tulips

Good man.

[Jolene] “Infact, you’re absolutely invaluable”

(to be fair – Jolene said that after she’d also pointed out he was good to talk problems through with. Just imagine what she’ll say when he dispenses the rest of his personal services …)



It’s alright. Ed knows how to deliver a calf

(at the hospital)

[Ed] “Is there anything I can do Em?”

[Emma] “Get it up and have it for me!”

Despite Ed being used to helping heifers give birth (sorry, Em!), he was quite useless tonight.

Asking how much longer.

Saying how awful it all was.

You could actually hear the man wringing his hands!

Tell you what – if that’s how he acts when his cows give birth, it’s no wonder he ends up with so many bull calves.

The cows do it out of spite.



Fallon and Jolene eat at 5.30pm

Crikey!

I thought that was just kids and older folks.

But then, as Jolene said, they do have the bar to run.

Still. It’s put me right off nipping over for my tea sometime. I still have pen ink on my fingers at 5.30pm.


Jolene puts Jamie right

You have to admit that Jolene is a master at dealing with tricky customers.

She sits Jamie down to have a word about him using The Bull as a hotel, rather than a home.

And when he gets fed up and tries to walk away from her:

[Jolene] “No, I don’t think so. Round here we finish a conversation when it’s started. And this one ain't finished yet”

Hurrah! (I thought) Someone is finally going to give Jamie the swift boot in the bum that he’s so badly needed for months now!

But … no.

All Jolene did was tell him that he needed to cooperate more, and to nip home after school to say hello and have some tea.

[Jamie] “And that’s it?”

Yup. I was just as amazed.

Mind you, maybe the softly softly approach will work on him?



“No more about the pasture dumper!”

Ed has been told by the nurse/doctor/midwife to chat about his day at work to take Emma’s mind off the excruciating pain, but it seemed to backfire.

Still, the nurse/doctor/midwife seemed interested enough.


“She’s so perfect”

[Emma] “She’s so beautiful”

[Ed] “She’s so perfect. Perfect … our little girl. How did we make something so beautiful, eh? This is the best day of my life. The best day ever.”

Aw!

So we at last have a Grundy Girl (which will be great for Clarrie – someone else to help cook, clean, do Joe’s toenails … I know I do keep going on about those toenails, but it was such a shock!).

What do we think they’ll call her?

Wilma? Wilamena?? Wilhelmina???

The Archers Tuesday 5th April 2011: Gardeners’ Question Time Committee

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Unleash the flood
• Order, Order!
• Pat had to hear it from Clarrie
• Jolene or Kathy?
• “Honestly, that woman!”
• Orange flower water
• Who could forget Jean Paul’s Herb Garden?
• Poor Robert
• Emma’s baby is due
• That Jim … he’s such a joker!

Unleash the flood!

Neil, Christine., Jim and Lynda are (of course) the chosen ones to be the committee for Gardeners’ Question Time arrangements.

Not too sure how they were democratically elected to such lofty positions, but it’s always nice to hear a bit more from Christine.

Jim’s holding back on posters to promote until he gets the tickets from the producers (go on Jim unleash the “flood”),

Which is seemingly the way it’s meant to be.

If one wants to have a ticket for Gardeners’ Question Time., one must receive it by post in advance, so one has time to properly consider one’s question, which one can write on the ticket.

As they have to post out tickets, Jim and co. can charge a whopping £2.50 per ticket.

But that does include a cup of tea or coffee.

Phew!



Order, Order!

Jim quite rightly called the committee to order when conversation strayed onto Susan organising a wedding theme for the Village Shop window.

Quite right too.


Pat had to hear it from Clarrie

Kathy would normally immediately be right round to Pat’s when something happened with Jamie (ore previously Kenton).

But this time, Pat had to hear it through the Village gossiping.

On catching up with Kathy, she’s told by Kathy that she isn’t embarrassed – just utterly humiliated.

[Kathy] “It feels like more the same, how long have I been going on about my problems … I just felt I didn’t want to burst your bubble”

So Harry has changed more than just Helen’s life. He’s helped to chisel Kathy away from being so dependent on Pat.

But that’s not what Pat wanted (although I’m sure Tony’s quite happy!). She still wants Kathy to know she gotta friend.


Jolene or Kathy?

Looks like Jamie’s tantrums have really got to Kathy. She’s even beginning to think he might have a point.

[Kathy] “Maybe I’ve got to face it. It’s like Jamie said. Jolene’s nicer to be around”

Hmmm.

I don’t many of us would argue with that, but Kathy’s not a complete witch.

Maybe she’d actually be better off – a more relaxed and happy person – if Jamie did stay away? Is Kathy simply driven potty by the male of the species?

But Pat also has a good point.

Jamie prefers Jolene because she isn’t his mum. He can’t get away with half of his bad behaviours, and he wouldn’t treat Jolene as badly as he treats Kathy.

After all, Kathy will love him no matter what. Jolene could choose to get rid …


“Honestly, that woman!”

Seemingly Hilary Noakes suggested to Christine to tell the Gardener’s Question Time committee that the village call could do with smartening up. Maybe a lick of paint.

Neil’s appalled – it was recently redone.

Jim’s flabbergasted as her stupidity:

[Jim] “It’s radio, for goodness sake”

And Lynda is … well … a tad hypocritical:

[Lynda] “Honestly, that woman,. She has to stick her nose into everything!”

Orange flower water

Which is what Lynda is going to use to make her special madeira cake for Gardeners’ Question Time.

Fancy! Wonder if Jill will approve …



Who could forget Jean Paul’s Herb Garden?

Um … I did.

But seemingly Ian still makes great use of it at Grey Gables.


Poor Robert

Today was his birthday, but Lynda was at committee.

Bless the chap. Lynda was quite right when she said that held understand.



Emma’s baby is due

Thursday of next week.

So she managed to miss April Fools' day.

Wonder if this will be an easy Ambridge birth?

We haven’t heard from Amy for a while …



That Jim … he’s such a joker!

Gardeners’ Question Time want to feature a special gardening related, local project – so Jim asks Christine’s advice.

She reckons that a young couple who make Perry (from near Felpersham) would be a good one.

[Jim] “A rather more bone fide venture than the Grundy’s cider!”

And, it seems that the sound engineer wanted Lynda’s phone number.

Robert doesn’t have to worry about a rival for Lynda’s affection … the engineer:

[Jim] “seems to think she’ll come over rather well on the radio …I think it means she’s what they call a character”

So Jim gave the engineer the number, and told him that Lynda had a low allergen garden and is a practitioner of feng shui.

He seemed to think that was hilarious, and Christine also seemed to think he had been quite naughty.

Ah – what is sometimes takes to amuse when living in the country.

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 5th April 2011: the first eavesdropping episode

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Not so convincing Barwick Green
• Alice and Chris getting married
• Alice and Chris arguing
• *sigh* more hidden microphone time for Jamie
• Thank goodness – an adult!
• Alice gets drunk
• Jamie to turn thief?
• The verdict? 15 minutes of Kevins and Judes

Not so convincing Barwick Green

Quite decidedly odd indeed.

Especially if Ambridge Extra is meant to be aimed at young ‘uns.

Like changing the theme of Top of the Pops – trying to be modern with a classic opener generally falls flat.

Or is that odd tone that pops up on Sunday omnibus time? I’m never up early enough to hear it.

(is Top of the Pops still going, by the way?)



Alice and Chris getting married

I was a tad confused at the opening lines of Ambridge Extra:

[some American bloke] “The description of marriage is love. Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not rude. Love is not envious. If the two of continue to love each other and do not tamper with one another’s trust, you’ll have a great and long marriage. Will you do that?”

(then all become clear what was happening

[Chris] “Yes”

[Alice] “Yup”

The microphones have travelled down to Alice at University, where she’s home watching her wedding video with her friends.

One of whom is call Paulie.

The other Chas.

And they all like jelly vodkas.

Od dear … this didn’t bode well at all ...


Alice and Chris arguing

Chris calls Alice, and drops the bombshell that he won’t be seeing her that weekend as he’s off to do snowboarding in Leeds at his mate’s stag do,

Alice is not amused that Chris has chosen a stag do over her. And in Leeds, of all places.

Chris doesn’t even text Alice later on, so she’s now worried that this is all “not like they really are.”

Sounds like love’s young dream isn’t that dreamy after all.

Which I suppose nit the point of Ambridge Extra – all we normally get to hear of Chris and Alice is when they’re back in Ambridge, all loved up and glad to be together.

Anyhoo – Alice is fine, as she has ‘Chas’ to drag her away from her study off out to a club.




*sigh* more hidden microphone time for Jamie

Which is a shame.

Despite my misgivings about Ambridge Extra, I was looking forward to hearing from Rhys, and maybe some of the other silent residents.

I didn’t really want to hear more of the moronic banter from that there Jamie.

(which adds to suspicion yet again that this is all for the young ‘uns. I suppose the can identify with Jamie’s grunts).

Jamie’s proudly telling Marty that he’s moved into the bull. What’s more:

[Jamie] “It’s my dad’s pub, it’s mine now … Jolene’s cool. And she feels guilty … and I have her wrapped round my little finger”

He does clarify that he only has a share, and only when he’s 18, but it’s a snifter of the arrogance that is Jamie.

Let’s hope he says something like that around Jolene. He’ll be back begging Kathy for a place to sleep in no time.



Thank goodness – an adult!

Kirsty pops up in Ambridge Extra … hurrah!

But not so quick … she’s there to tell Marty and Jamie off for knocking over Jaxx’s menu board, and to try and persuade Jamie to take part of a Fun Run taking place next week round Lakey Hill.

(Kenton also makes an appearance, but mainly to try and get Kirsty into a costume for the Fun Run. Steady on matey!)

He is not impressed. Especially as his mates can hear.

[Jamie] “Of course not. Why would I want to do something stupid like that!”

So off they pop again. Dragging their knuckles off to their mate’s car, to do the (very old) boy racer routine.

I’m still in shock that one of them was heard to mutter: “What’s going down here then?”

“going down”?????

Not before the watershed, surely?


Alice gets drunk

“Chas” is plying Alice with tequila, and talk of how marriage isn’t really his thing.

But never fear – Chas turns out to be a good ‘un.

Which is more than can be said for some other bloke called Shaun. He spots Alice is bladdered – tries to chat her up – seems to be having some sort of result (which his mates are shouting “Get in there Shaun!” in the background).

Rather than be horrified at this blatant molestation, Alice seems to welcome it:

[Alice] “You’re very, very bad …”

But she is rather drunk. Which is when Chas steps back in to remover her from Shaun’s clutches.

But not before someone takes a photo.

On a Facebook near you soon? Chris will just love that.



Jamie to turn thief?

Now that Jamie has boasted that The Bull is part his, his mates want him to slope off some booze.

Which he doesn’t want to do (still something good like about the boy?):

[Jamie] “I’m not doing it, okay. It was my dad’s pub and I’m not ripping it off”

[Marty] “It’s not like your dad can see you!”

But Marty does point out that Jamie’s other mates will be impressed – surely just a matter of time before he gives in, steals, gets caught by Fallon/Jolene and has to go back home?

Either that, or a serious lack of cashflow might do the trick. He’s already trying to get out of paying his share for fags and petrol.


The verdict? 15 minutes of Kevins and Judes

I was trying hard not to dislike Ambridge Extra. I had been prejudging it as a Hollyoaks wannabe. And someone quite rightly pointed out to me that I shouldn’t judge before I’d heard it.

My excuse was that (a) I’m an Ambridge Eavesdropper (so course I’ll judge!) and (b) the BBC promos made it sound like a Hollyoaks wannabe.

Which, quite frankly, it was.

So looks of teen blokes acting like atypical Kevins – and lots of Uni blokes acting like that god-awful Juuuuude (there’s a thought – wonder when his visa runs out …).

BUT

It was just the first eavesdropping episode. And I’m interested enough to listen again.

Will Ambridge Extra bring hoards of teenies to Radio 4 Extra to start their lifelong love affair with Ambridge?

I doubt it.

Is it ‘added value’ for us lifers?

Remains to be seen.

Was it worth of Ambridge?

Hmmm. Jury is out on that one, for me. After all, even the ‘adult’ Ambridge can sometimes have its off days.

Ambridge Extra

So what’s all this talk of Ambridge Extra on BBS Radio 4 Extra?



The Beeb reckons:

“The idea is that you'll be able to hear more stories from in and around Ambridge, and also we'll be able to go further afield with Archers-related characters.

“You can enjoy the new series without listening to the main Archers programme. And you can continue to listen to The Archers without missing out on anything essential. But if you follow both programmes, then you'll get a deeper insight into what's going on in our characters' lives. You'll also hear from new characters in Ambridge Extra who don't appear in The Archers, or who are only minor characters there.”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thearchers/2011/03/ambridge_extra_on_bbc_radio_4.html

So far, I’ve heard mention of Rhys (The Bull’s barman) shall break his silence, we’ll be able to hear Alice at Uni and more from Jamie.

From what it sounds like – all very Hollyoaks ‘after dark’ (for those sensible enough to have never stumbled onto Hollyoaks – it’s a teen drama about bonny, but rather dull and thick, young folks … mind numbing stuff).

Now – Ambridge can sometimes be a bit dull (as is real life), often features thick ‘uns (Sabrina, I am looking at you) and does have a smattering of young people.

So, in theory, Ambridge Extra should be a welcome addition to us eavesdroppers.

Here’s hoping.

But do pardon my cynicism … I think I’m still suffering from all of the #sattc (Shakes Ambridge to the Core/Nigel’s death) build-up. I still maintain it was a cracking eavesdropping episode, but felt slightly dirty after having completely fallen for the huge build-up.

And I’ve said this on Twitter – if I am sounding like one of those really angry people who write on The Archers forums on the BBC, please do tell me …

Ambridge Extra: Tuesdays and Thursdays 10am (Radio 4 Extra), repeats same days at 2.15pm (Radio 4) - omnibus Fridays at 10.30am (Radio 4 Extra), repeated on Sundays at 11.15am and 7.15pm (Radio 4) - and there's a podcast.

First episode Tuesday 5 April,

See you on the other side!

Other articles on Ambridge Extra:

Beeb:http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2011/03_march/16/archers.shtml

The Express: http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/238520/More-means-less-in-Ambridge-

The Telegraph: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8386596/BBC-launches-Archers-spin-off-show-Ambridge-Extra.html

Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/mar/16/the-archers-ambridge-extra-radio-4-extra

Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2011/mar/16/the-archers-extra-bbc-radio-4

The Archers Monday 4th April 2011: Jill’s not happy with Kenton

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• The Return of the Bees
• Roy’s definitely interested
• Kenton told the family
• Jamie is stopping Kenton getting his leg over
• No sympathy for Kathy
• That’s it for Johne’s?
• What did Jill actually say?
• Brian took Ruairi fishing
• Jill’s catering Gardeners’ Question Time

The Return of the Bees

Jill was feeding her bees today, but will be able to stop soon enough. Everything’s started to grow.

Later on:

[Jill] “See that the whole farm is coming into life again … the blossoms out … you’re getting the clamp ready for silaging …cows are out … the milk’s gushing into the tank”

Stay steady folks. Summer is on its way .



Roy’s definitely interested

So Elizabeth is putting together an offer for him.

But keep it quiet … Elizabeth’s not quite ready to be bitch-slapped by Caroline.


Kenton told the family

I wondered why Jill sounded so off with Kenton (as then did Elizabeth wonder)..

[Jill] “Elizabeth, what does he expect? After what he told us at the weekend …”

He “killed two birds” and told Shula and Jill about him seeing Jolene, both at the same time.

He’d already told Elizabeth (who didn’t give a hoot), and Shula wished them well after first being a bit stunned.

Jill, however, is none too amused. As we’d come to expect, of our Jill.




Jamie is stopping Kenton getting his leg over

And Jolene from doing likewise!

Totally unintentional (of course), but Jamie staying at The Bull means Kenton and Jolene can only grab a quick snog.



No sympathy for Kathy

It might just be because Kenton and Jolene are currently in deep lust, but I’m finding their total disregard for Kathy a bit callous.

Jolene jokes about the run-in she had with Kathy:

[Jolene] “I’ve been in worse cat fights over the years … at least no hair pulling”

And they don’t seem to give a monkey’s about how Kathy feels at Jamie also abandoning her.

Maybe Jolene really does have a master plan to remove all male persons from Kathy’s life.


That’s it for Johne’s?

Only 1 out of 3 cows prefer …ahem … have Johne’s, and Alistair has traced it back through the herd.

David’s being morose about what yield they’ve probably lost over the years, but Jill’s trying to cheer him up:

[Jill] "David, you sound just like your father”

[David] “Thanks a lot. Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

[Jill] “Yes. It’s a compliment.”

And so it is David.

That you become as good a man as Phil …


What did Jill actually say?

I’m intrigued.

Just exactly y what was Jill’s response to Kenton telling her he was seeing Jolene.

Jolene reckons Jill wasn’t amused because of her rather colourful (“scandalous”, says Jolene) past:

[Jolene] “I’m well aware I wouldn’t be your family’s first choice “

But Kenton reckons not. It’s more about him than her.

[Kenton] “Let’s face it. Mum’s well past being shocked by anything I do”

But it just goes to show that Kenton knows nothing about his mum.

Jill later says to David that she was shocked. How could he do this to Kathy? And that Sid has been dead long enough.

[David] “It’s not the first time Jolene’s ended up with her bloke”

And of course – this all gives David another good reason to have a pop at his brother.

[Jill] “Still. I suppose there’s nothing we can do”

[David] “He will do whatever he wants., with whoever he wants. And the rest of us have just got to make the best of it.”

Brian took Ruairi fishing

But it won’t last..

Phoebe and Jennifer only left today, and Ruairi will soon be packed off to Ireland.

Leaving time for Brian to get to know Elona better …???


Jill’s catering Gardeners’ Question Time

Marvellous.

But she does seem a bit stressed about what ‘light refreshments’ for the presenters and the production team could mean.

[Jill] “It’s a very lose term, though, light refreshments. A sort of buffet tea, I suppose”

The Archers Sunday 3rd April 2011: Horrible Mother’s Day for Kathy

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Jamie will never leave if he’s allowed to sleep in
• Worried about Jolene, not Kathy
• Aw! Sabrina’s not in leggings
• Clarrie gets the better of Eddie and Joe … with Jim’s help
• The beauty of braces
• What’s the bets on it being the wrong The Ghost
• Kathy reveals all
• Just let him be homeless
• What’s so attractive about Kenton?
• Jamie arrives home … then leaves again

Jamie will never leave if he’s allowed to sleep in

Jamie hasn’t gone home since he had his argument with Kathy on Friday.

And Jolene lets him sleep in.

Luxury for a teen – sleeping in, crisps on demand, and many opportunities to sneak a few sniffs of alcohol.

Course he’s not going home!



Worried about Jolene, not Kathy

On spotting the flowers Jolene is arranging, , Jamie’s a bit taken aback that they’re not from Kenton.

They’re from Fallon, for Mother’s Day.

He’s upset he didn’t think to get anything for Jolene.

[Jolene] “I’m not your mother, after all”

[Jamie] “I wish you were”

[Jolene] “And if I was, it’d be me who you’d be arguing with all the time”

But the boy ain't listening.

And he didn’t even mention that he hadn’t got anything for Kathy.




Aw! Sabrina’s not in leggings

Joe was round at Sabrina’s as she wanted him to look at her holly.

Well, her lack of holly. That he’d sold her. And promised would grow.

Eddie was first disappointed that he wasn’t allowed into Sabrina’s house.

[Joe] “She ain't going to let the likes of me trample all over her carpets”

But was especially disappointed about her attire.

[Eddie] “Leggings? …not shorts????”

[Joe] “Tracksuit”

[Eddie] “Oh”

Seemingly everything else in Sabrina’s garden is starting to grow, but she can’t see any sign of her holly. Joe managed to persuade her that a bit of growth was probably holly.

[Joe] “It’s Sabrina Thwaite we’re talking about … she don’t know no better”

Clarrie gets the better of Eddie and Joe … with Jim’s help

Eddie and Joe can’t believe their luck – Clarrie’s off out again on a Sunday, this time to Will and Nic’s. And even though it’s Mother’s Day, Clarrie is still only having bread and cheese.

And, they’ve been asked round to Jim’s.

Which can only mean a slap up Sunday lunch, without Clarrie ever knowing!

Little do they know that Clarrie and Jim are in league …

[Clarrie] “Jim will look after you, I’m sure”

And Jim does indeed look after them.

They have a roast dinner, pudding, cheese (which Joe points out is their third course, but is Clarrie’s only course) … and are about to have chocolate and coffee when …

[Jim] “And if I may …”

[Eddie] “What’s this?”

[Jim] “The bill”

[Joe] “Ten pounds each … Oh that’s nice, in’t it. Very Christian”

[Jim] “And cash only”

So Jim’s charging them, to be paid back as lent.

Eddie and Joe are horrified.

Later on, to Clarrie.

[Joe] “Ten quid each, how could you Clarrie? It was a mean trick to play on an old man (cough cough) … it was like a pair of Geese being fattened up for Christmas”

[Clarrie] “Yeah, I bet you were. Beaks wide open”

[Eddie] “Well I don’t know about geese … more like lambs to the slaughter”

[Joe] “I’m right disappointed in you Clarrie”

But Eddie and Joe relent. They do only have two more bread and cheese Sunday’s to suffer.

Which I must say I’m glad about … this is all a bit of a farce beneath Ambridge, for me.




The beauty of braces

Whereas Eddie had to pop his trousers open after the meal, Joe was able to do so the moment he sat down, without exposing himself.

[Joe] “That’s the beauty of braces”

Quite.





What’s the bets on it being the wrong The Ghost

Odds on, I reckon.

Joe can’t get a copy of The Ghost (Robert Harris) from the library, and he won’t buy it.

Then Eddie has the bright idea that he can just watch the movie.

Of course – it’s bound to be the Patrick Swayze version.

Ho hum.


Kathy reveals all

Clarrie spots Kathy hanging out the washing, which Clarrie reckons she shouldn’t be doing on Mother’s Day.

So Kathy tells her about their argument, and Jamie staying at The Bull.

[Clarrie] “Honestly, these things happen when they’re growing up … he’ll be back”

(Kathy should listen – Clarrie’s an expert when it comes to wayward sons!)

[Kathy] “It’s not just Jamie … I’ve had a row with Jolene. And he seems to have taken her side …. Oh why should I try to protect them …. It’s about Kenton. Him and Jolene, they’re a couple

[Clarrie] “No!”

So that’s that then.

Clarrie knows, so the rest of Borchester will know about Kenton and Jolene in next to no time.



Just let him be homeless

Jolene’s trying to explain to Jamie that him staying at The Bull was only ever for a few nights.

Jamie’s not having it.

He’d rather sleep on a bench on the village green or a barn than go back home.

So let him! He’d soon grow up once he realises that he’s not as independent as he’d like to think.

But Jamie emotionally blackmails Jolene by saying that she said he’d always have a home at The Bull.

And she gives in.

That was far too easy, methinks.



What’s so attractive about Kenton?

Clarrie breaks the news to Eddie and Joe about Kenton seeing Jolene.

[Clarrie] “And if you do go down the Bull, don’t be surprised to find Kenton serving you …”

[Joe] “ … Oh, that’s a rum do. He hadn’t been gone 5 minutes”

[Eddie, outraged] “Kenton … what does she see in him?”

Poor Eddie.

You and Jolene were just never to be.

Which is quite good, as she’d never have had anything to do with Joe’s toenails.



Jamie arrives home … then leaves again

[Kathy] “Sit down and talk”

[Jamie] “You don’t know how! …all you care about is yourself, and all you care about is what people in Ambridge think. And you can’t cope with Jolene because you’re jealous of her!”

Ouch yet again.

So Jamie storms out and leaves Kathy crying.

Kathy’s not my favourite Ambridge resident, but this is all quite tough to hear. I do feel sorry for her. Jolene just takes every man Kathy touches … lover or child.

The Archers Friday 1st April 2011:Gardeners’ Question Time Confirmed!

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Jim’s got the committee sorted
• Poor Peregrines
• Eddie and Joe to get their comeuppance?
• April Fool!
• Elizabeth makes Roy the offer
• Crisps and tea make Jamie a happy chappy
• Kathy loses the plot (yet again)

Jim’s got the committee sorted

So not to panic. All shall be well when Gardeners’ Question Time comes to Ambridge.

Seemingly the questions are only chosen on the day, but Jim’s starting a committee to make sure the questions are appropriate.


Poor Peregrines

Despite the marvellous news about Gardeners’ Question Time, Lynda isn’t having a good morning.

She’s found eggs on the Path, which she got Patrick to check – and they are the Peregrines. Now there’s no sign of the “parents”.

Will they return?

Was this just an act of nature, or was there a human hand involved?

Either way, Lynda isn’t going to let the Peregrines move out without a fight!


Eddie and Joe to get their comeuppance?

They will, if Jim has his way.

His plan is for Clarrie to get herself invited elsewhere, and invite Eddie and Joe over his on Sunday.

[Jim] “They’re assuming,, as I’m no churchgoer, that I’m on their side …”

That’s the thing with Ambridge. You can always trust your mates – unless you try and be uncharitable (and nasty to Clarrie) during Lent.


April Fool!

Ah – all now becomes clear, but I really don’t think much of Jim’s April Fool joke.

For first thing – it didn’t happen on April Fool. He started it well before, only revealing that it was a joke on 1st April.

And it wasn’t very funny. I’m completely onside with Lynda with that.

Jim was somewhat abashed to hear Lynda say that she’d started reading Ovid’s Metamorphoses.

[Jim] “April Fool! … you surely didn’t think I was serious?”

[Lynda] “Well why not! With your background, why wouldn’t I?”

[Jim] “Oh come on Lynda, a mock epic text for a village book group I thought you’d see through it straight away”

Mais non! Even Richard Thwaite has starting tackling the rather meaty tome.

[Jim] “where is your sense of humour?”

[Lynda] “*sniff*”

Oops. I don’t think Jim full appreciates what *that* sniff means …

Anyhoo – Jim has actually chosen The Ghost by Robert Harris.

Which should be far more palatable for all concerned. Even if they aren’t now talking to Jim …


Elizabeth makes Roy the offer

Telling Roy to go home early, and how amazing he’s been, Elizabeth then makes her play for her man:

[Elizabeth] “I’ve been wondering, Roy, have you ever considered leaving Grey Gables… would you consider it?”

On later talking it through with Hayley, Roy is surprised, flattered and excited by the prospect of working at Lower Loxley – but he also feels great loyalty to Caroline and Oliver.

[Roy] “Caroline gave me a start .. .she taught me all I know”

[Hayley] “Business is business”

Roy is worried that if he does go for the new job, he’d feel odd then seeing Caroline and Oliver around. Well, Oliver isn’t one to be worried about – he hasn’t been seen in ages!

As Roy and Hayley chat it through, it looks like Lower Loxley is a good option for them. A pay rise, and they’d both be working in the same place (though I’d have thought that would be a mark against it!).

I think Roy, if left to himself, would stay at Grey Gables as that’s both the easier and nicer option . But with Hayley around – it looks likely he’ll make the choice that’s better for him and his family.

Regardless of how uncomfortable he’ll be out and about in Ambridge for a while.


Crisps and tea make Jamie a happy chappy

Jamie sounded absolutely delighted when Jolene first told him to help himself to crisps, and over the moon when she asked him to stay for tea.

Aren’t teenagers odd?

Kathy more or less gets food flung back at her – but Jolene can now do no wrong.

To be young and completely unfathomable and unreasonable.


Kathy loses the plot (yet again)

Arriving home to find no Jamie, Kathy calls him.

And goes a tad OTT when she realised he’s at The Bull.

She rushes over there, makes Jamie go out to the car, while she has a go at Jolene.

[Kathy] “I can do without you trying to undermine me. Wheedling him away down here all the time …”

Kathy is trying to make out that she’s wants to keep Jamie away from The Bull, so that he focuses on his studying.

She doesn’t realise that (a) Jamie chose to go to The Bull and (b) Jamie studies, when at The Bull.

And Jolene did tell Jamie to text Kathy to let her know where he was.

[Kathy] “I know what you’re up to, And I’ve had enough. Jamie is my son, not yours!”

[Jolene] “Excuse me, in case you’ve forgotten, he’s Sid’s son as well, which make him my stepson. If you think I’m going to let go of that relationship, you’re wrong … you say you’re trying to keep him on the right track, well so am I “

[Kathy] “Oh how very noble of you. And I suppose Kenton’s right behind you!”

[Jolene] “Look, can we leave Kenton out of this”

[Kathy] “Well hardly, as you seem to have brought him very much into it to play happy families … you trying to take the moral high ground now … you just can’t stop himself can you, you want the whole lot. Getting the whole village to feel sorry for you while you mope over Sid, while at the same time throwing … you haven’t changed. Well I don’t want my son around someone with the morals of an alley cat”

(meow!)

Storming back out, Jamie’s in the car (listening to Lady Gaga, no less), and also has a go at Kathy. He’s just not accepting that she’s angry with Jolene because Jolene has been ‘going behind’ her back.

Well – she hasn’t. Not this time.

[Jamie] “The point is you just don’t get it, and you never will. Cause you just can’t see what you do to people. Ask yourself, mum, why would I prefer to be at The Bull … haven’t you noticed, dad preferred being with Jolene, Kenton prefers being with Jolene and you know what, I do too”

OOOOH – that was painful to listen to.

Kathy shouts after Jamie, but he’s back off to The Bull. She tries to call him, and leaves a message saying that she’s sorry.

Oh dear.

Has Kathy lost yet another man to Jolene?

The Archers Thurs 31st March 2011: Monte Carlo

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• It’s not Kathy that’s the problem
• Jamie is studying
• “Poor Lamb”
• Has Jennifer met her mistress?
• Was Jamie crying?
• Virginia Woolf reference
• Kathy won’t be bothered
• The first public kiss!

It’s not Kathy that’s the problem

Jolene reckons Jamie’s told Kathy about her and Kenton (why wouldn’t he?), so Jamie’s reluctance to see her/be at The Bull is down to Kathy not wanting him to do so.

Erm … I think it might have more to do with the fact that you’re stepping out with his stepdad, not that long after your husband – his dad – died.

Far closer to home, does the problem come from.



Jamie is studying

Jamie does go to see Fallon at The Bull, but asks her to help him study rather than watch a DVD.

If only Kathy knew, she might be a far calmer lady all round.


“Poor Lamb”

Would any of us have thought we’d see the day when the mighty Mr Jack Woolley was wetting himself like a child?

Later on, he didn’t want Jennifer to watch him eating his sandwich

Poor chap.

Lucky that he’s not really there to see it all.

At least Peggy’s still going strong.

[Peggy] “I thought I was getting feeble in my old age”

[Elona] “You, feeble? I don’t think so Mrs Woolley.”

Has Jennifer met her mistress?

I’m wondering if this Elona malarkey is just a red herring – but has Jennifer just meant Brian’s next love interest?


Was Jamie crying?

As Jamie leaves The Bull by the back door:

[Jamie] “I came this way as I thought you were in the bar”

[Jolene] “Bad luck …”

Jolene really is in the mood for apologies – mainly as she feels she has nothing to apologise for.

But now that she has Jamie cornered, she’s going to talk with him. Whether he wants to, or not.

Lamenting the huge change in their friendship recently:

[Jolene] “The difference must be because I’d started seeing Kenton”

[Jamie] “Oh, well done …Why Kenton? Why, with all the blokes out there, did it have to be him?”

[Jolene] “It’s partly because Kenton isn’t new, I knew him before as a friend, and course, he knew your dad as well”

[Jamie] “And he lived with my mum … doesn’t it make it kinda creepy?!?”

(yup Jamie – I reckon it is)

Jolene tells Jamie that she’ll always love Sid … and Jamie, because he’s part of Sid.

Now, I’m sure I heard Jamie quietly crying in the background, but Jolene didn’t seem to notice, and certainly didn’t mention that he’d cried when she was speaking later to Fallon.

Odd.

Anyway – looks like Jolene’s struck a chord.

Jamie and her are pals again.


Virginia Woolf reference

Elona’s telling Jennifer about her daughters (while Jennifer has to leave Jack and Peggy, eating his sandwich).

Her daughters are Anna (13) and Rosa (16).

Anna is pianist (or at least, quote good at piano), but Rosa was made out to be a bit thick.

But:

[Elona] “If you ask her, what she says she wants most is a room of her own”

I wonder.

Is it Elona or Rosa who has got to grips with Virginia Woolf?



Kathy won’t be bothered

Jolene reckons that Kathy won’t be that bothered about her seeing Kenton.

Eh?

[Fallon] “Even so, for her, it’s like history repeating itself”

Quite right Fallon.



The first public kiss!

Kenton’s all very excited about a present he’s got for Jolene.

Turns out to be a book on Monte Carlo.

Jolene’s a bit slow to get the point:

[Jolene] “It’s a little bit random, isn’t it?”

Course – Kenton’s gifting a trip to Monte Carlo. Three whole days.

[Kenton] “Seemed liked your kinda town, baby”

[Jolene] “And how! Oh you gorgeous man!”

And they have their first public kiss.

Aw!

To be cynical for just one moment – if Kenton is basically trying to get his leg over, that’s quite an expensive way of achieving it.

Jolene has already expressed her consent.

But, to not be cynical, maybe Kenton just wants to go that extra bit further to make it all unique and special (well, he has to do something to ensure he’s not going to be compared to Sid!)

[Kenton] “You’ll need something smart for the casino, but for the rest of the time ….”

I’m telling you – shower scene ahoy!!!

The Archers Wednesday 30th March 2011: Elizabeth wants Roy … permanently

• Ruth beginning to understand?
• Usha ain’t a country gal
• What did Usha expect?
• Elizabeth will be on about the pop parade next
• “He’s wonderful”
• “She brings her own mop and bucket”

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Ruth beginning to understand?

I’ve largely been on Ruth’s side while David’s been ignoring her and Brookfield- but maybe she’s right that David does need more time before he can ‘move on’ from the horrific experience of seeing Nigel fall to his death.

He’s been very quiet since the inquest. Having to relive it couldn’t have been easy.

[Ruth] “Maybe it’s too soon for him to feel that this is an ending of some sort”

Usha ain’t a country gal

I do adore Usha’s complete lack of knowledge about all things farming. Especially that she doesn’t try to pretend, or apologise, for it.

[Usha] “I saw him (David) guiding some sort of machine into one of your fields”

I live in deepest Galloway, and also don’t have a clue. Some of us are here, love where we are, are part of where we are – but not being able to tell the difference between different bits of farm equipment doesn’t make us any less rural. We have our other ways.



What did Usha expect?

Usha’s not happy about Jim’s choice of Ovid's Metamorphoses.

Now there’s a surprise!

Funny thing is that she asked him in the first place.


Elizabeth will be on about the pop parade next

Making Roy blush as she heaps praise onto him for her sterling work, Elizabeth’s also on about his notion of having gigs at Lower Loxley.

[Elizabeth] “I like your rock concert idea”

Oh ra ra ra!

She made it sound like some ancient prog-rock band would be turning up, rather than a current combo.

Bless her and her posh, antiquated ways.


“He’s wonderful”

Elizabeth is pondering about offering Roy a job.

[Elizabeth] “He does what I would do, or what Nigel would have done”

Shula is utterly horrified.

Not about the comparison to Nigel (which I found to be the slightly worrying bit – it all sounds like a bit of an indecent proposal to me), but that Elizabeth would poach Roy from Caroline. When Caroline only lent him in the first place to be a good friend and neighbour. Stealing him away would be a bit of a slap in the face.

Having a chat with a (rather distracted) David later on, Shula’ s a tad annoyed to find that he doesn’t agree with her.

He reckons that Roy might actually be ready to leave Grey gables.

[David] “He can always say no”

[Shula] “So you think it would be okay … ethical?”

David then kicks off on a major rant about how ‘ethical’ it is that Nigel has died, that Elizabeth has been left alone to cope etc etc etc

Come on David! Elizabeth hasn’t now got carte blanche to do as she likes.

Shula’s easily outraged at the best of times, but I reckon she’s right.



“She brings her own mop and bucket”

Ruth still doesn’t seem to be sure about her new cleaner, Patsy.

[Ruth] “Brings her own mop and bucket … doesn’t like our vacuum … and needs special wax”

Worse still, Patsy is demanding Ruth gets Josh’s and Ben’s bedrooms a bit more tidy. She’d like to be able to get to the floor through the ‘stuff’.

Fair do.

But it does sound like Patsy’s more work for Ruth than she saving.

The Archers Tuesday 29th March 2011: Nigel’s Inquest

• Don’t forget our Shula
• “They are only cows”
• Richard Rushworth – coroner for south Borchester
• Vicky is back, and in very good form
• David’s Inquest account
• Accidental death

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Don’t forget our Shula

If things had been slightly different, Nigel would have married Shula.

(well, if Shula had actually fancied him!)

Still, they were very good friends, and, as Shula said today, Nigel was incredibly supportive when Shula’s Mark was killed.


“They are only cows”

Just as David was leaving Brookfield to go to Nigel’s inquest, four cows were being taken away to slaughter because of Johne’s disease.

He’s a tad stressed and down about it, but is trying to keep it in perspective considering what Elizabeth has lost.

(How many cows do we reckon Nigel was worth?)..


Richard Rushworth – Coroner for south Borchester

Joined by Pam Clarkson, the Coroner’s Officer.

[Richard] “We’re here to induct an inquest into the death of Mr Nigel Gerald Pargetter. Its purpose is to establish the facts, who the deceased was, when, where and how he died …it’s an inquest not inquisition …”

At this point, I think we were all wondering if David would see it like that …



Vicky is back, and in very good form

I quite like Vicky.

Yes she’s loud and verging on offensive, but she doesn’t mean any harm. At least – she hasn’t so far.

She turns up as Hayley and Phoebe are shopping for Phoebe’s South Africa trip.

Phoebe’s being a bit stroppy (I paraphrase, but it was along the lines of ‘duh, mum. They have toothpaste in South Africa’)/

On chatting to Phoebe:

[Vicky] “You’re not happy about it, are you?”

Phoebe admits it’s all become such a big deal, and that she’s still stressed about it. Even with Jennifer tagging along.

But not to fear – Vicky has the solution, which she reveals as she takes them for something “nice” in Underwoods Café

As Hayley goes to get the something “nice”:

[Vicky] “What are you feeling then, Lovey?”

[Phoebe] “Three whole weeks. Without mum or dad. And Abby. And it’s Easter … It’s my own fault. I made such a fuss about going. And I can’t say anything now”

Phoebe still wants to go, but is feeling sad that she’ll be leaving her folks back in England – and she can’t talk to them about it as she made such a fuss to go in the first place.

[Vicky] “But that doesn’t mean like it isn’t perfectly normal to feel like you are. You have people you love in two different places”

So Vicky’s solution – buy Hayley something “nice” (she’s a poet and a half, is our Vicky), wrap it and hide it to be found when Phoebe has gone.
Buy something nice for them – hide it.

[Phoebe] “Oh Grandma Vicky … oh yes, yes please!”

[Vicky] “Oh look. I think I see cupcakes coming!”

Good on ya Vicky. Phoebe’s feeling bad that Hayley might think she doesn’t love her as much as she loves Kate (which isn’t true … I hope), so simple solution saves the day.

Brilliant.


David’s Inquest account

[David] “Nigel went out first … conditions dark … moon out … and it was cold … and the wind had got up a bit … tiles, bit of frost”

[Coroner] “You both start to inch your way across the roof …”

[David]” It wasn’t easy. Infact I slipped once. Nigel caught my arm. And then He volunteered to go and get the far end of the banner. He said he’d been clambouring around on that roof since he was a child … my end untied easily, the other end had been tied in a … it was more tricky”

[David] “Blew up … got caught on something … Nigel clamboured up after it … got loose again … flapped back in his face …started to slide down the roof … scrambling for footings with his hands and his feet … one of his shoes came off … I could see what was happening … I tried to get to him … Going through it now, I can see it all in slow motion. But at the time it was done in seconds”

On being asked by the coroner if he had anything else to add:

[David] “I’m so sorry Elizabeth!”

[Coroner] “Of course you are, Mr Archer. I’m sure we all are”

So – the banner was 10 foot – so David was a fair bit away from Nigel (so couldn’t get to him).

David also didn’t mention Kenton’s knot. Very noble and apt, but I wonder if that will come up in the next David/Kenton row?

And Nigel losing a show as he fell … that will stay with me for a long time.



Accidental death

[Elizabeth] “Accidental death. So. There we are”

And that’s that.

The coroner, everyone agrees, was very nice. And he said that because of the pitch of the roof, the frost and the banner – there was nothing David could have done.

But David still feels guilty. As he heads off to have a walk, he calls Ruth.

Trying to talk about cows rather than the inquest:

[David] “I said it was fine”

[Ruth] “David. This has to be an end to it, doesn’t it?”

[David] “An end?”

[Ruth] “It’s official. Accidental death. Case Closed. A line drawn under it. David, it’s over”

… we leave Ambridge as David is quietly sobbing down the phone to Ruth …

The Archers Monday 28th March 2011: Jolene’s a go-go

• Christine has a dental appointment
• Matt Crawford: a keen Gardners’ Question Time listener
• Jim likes Shula
• Kathy’s a clype!
• The Peregrines have Lynda to watch over them
• Jim has chosen the next Book Club book
• Clarrie has a plan
• Shower Scene ahoy!

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Christine has a dental appointment

Which means it’s up to Jim and Lynda to show the engineer from Gardners Question time round the village hall.

[Jim] “He’ll sound out the hall, literally”

And Pete (the engineer chap) was seemingly quite impressed with the hall.

(The tension, it does mount …)



Matt Crawford: a keen Gardners’ Question Time listener

Who’d have thunk it!

Despite Matt seeming to turn back to his bad old ways after coming out of Prison (lying to Lilian, scheming etc), one thing has changed.

He has found a love for horticulture.

[Jim] “Would you have Matt Crawford down as someone keen to get his hands on tickers for Gardners’ Question time?”

Mais non!

But he did do a lot of gardening on the inside (wonder if he managed to get roses to grow? The Prisoner Cell Block H ladies seemed to do quite well).



Jim likes Shula

And all it took was Nigel to die.

[Jim] “Shula’s strength and character have really come to the fore over the last few months. She’s been quite splendid”

Kathy’s a clype!

Clarrie was already too aware that Joe and Eddie had been up to culinary mischief on Sunday, but Kathy told her all.

[Clarrie] “They says all furtive like, that they had to go down the field”

So not content with almost being caught, Eddie and Joe had later stole off to collect their dinner from the shed and the van, then took it round Fat Paul’s to eat.

Cheeky!

Clarrie also found a dirty carving knife in a drawer, on top of her clean towels. So she didn’t really need Kathy to say anything.

[Clarrie] “Stood over them until they told me the whole story … I’m that ashamed of them, Jolene …Kathy though it was funny. But no, they need teaching a lesson”

Cripes. Clarrie does sound proper angry this time!




The Peregrines have Lynda to watch over them

They’re back, and it looks like Lynda reckons they have eggs.

She’ll keep them safe from those church goers (a bit of bird poop never did hurt anyone).




Jim has chosen the next Book Club book

And there was no great surprise what sort he went for.

Lynda though he might be reasonable and plump for one of his ‘Roman Detectives’:

[Lynda] “One doesn’t want anything too challenging for the likes of Joe Grundy”

But alas … Jim started waffling on about some roman folks I’d never heard of, and how the book should be:

[Jim] “A work with a far higher purpose.”

Hmmm.

So Jim’s choice is:

[Jim] “Ovid’s Metamorphoses … 15 books … I shall select a couple and let people know … it’s not as if I expect people to read it in the original”

*sigh*

Even Lynda was hard pushed to explain to Clarrie what the book was about. She started grasping at ‘something to do with changing … shape shifting’ and the like.

[Clarrie] “Maybe reading that will change him (Joe) into something I don’t have to be ashamed of”

Boy! Clarrie really isn’t going to let Eddie and Joe off lightly this time. No indeed not.


Clarrie has a plan

She’s going to set Jim on Eddie and Joe.

[Clarrie] “But this is bad, Lynda, even for Joe and Eddie”

(on Jim saying he thought their plan to get their Sunday dinner was ingenious)

[Lynda] “Ingenious! It’s downright deceitful”

So Clarrie decides that Jim needs to sort Joe out, as Joe actually listens to him.

Worth a try, I suppose.

But what about Eddie? Who on earth will he listen to?


Show Scene ahoy!

Kenton and Jolene are meant to be taking it slow, but are quite clearly very (very) attracted to each other.

Have a small mope that they won’t see much of each other over the next few days due to Nigel’s inquest (amongst other things), Kenton admits he loves being with Jolene all of the time.

[Kenton] “The phone is not the same as holding you … I know we said we’d take things slowly … but when I’m around you, I’m finding it really difficult”

(“No!”, I thought to myself “is he talking about adult liaisons???”)

[Kenton] “If, or when, you feel ready to mo9ve things on. Just say.”

(“Yes … they are talking about shagging!”)

And just as Kenton is about to leave:

[Jolene] “Oh, um, Kenton … I’m ready”

Cripes! Lock your children away from the radio … it’s about to get steamy.

The Archers Sunday 27th March 2011: Eddie cooks Sunday lunch

• Eddie went down the supermarket!!!!
• When it started to go wrong
• Can one play games over the phone?
• Even Kathy is sick of herself nagging
• Lunch at Emma’s
• Emma doesn’t want no Fool’s baby
• Now that’s taking the chicken!
• At least Kathy and Jamie laughed together
• Clarrie arrives home

Eddie went down the supermarket!!!!

Now that’s not a very Ambridge thing to do.

Needs must though, I suppose.

And what did he get for his and Joe’s sneaky Sunday lunch (which they’re not meant to have, as they’re meant to be forgoing for lent).

[Eddie] “ A nice plump chicken, a bag of frozen veg, roasties, and some mini Yorkshires”

Joe seemed quite taken aback that mini Yorkshires exist.

[Joe] “How do they do that then, supermarkets?”

So there we go – by cheating lent, Joe’s food experiences have widened!


When it started to go wrong

For starters – Clarrie decided she’d return home after Church, rather than go straight over to Ed and Emma’s (as Eddie and Joe had planned, and cajoled, for her to do).

[Clarrie] “I don’t expect she wants me for dinner at all except you two has gone and got me invited”

Eddie was cheeky enough to then say that Clarrie going to Ed and Emma’s would be a treat and a rest (aye right - her and Emma haven’t exactly been getting on recently), and Joe was quite put out that it would mean his Sunday lunch would have to be cooked late.

[Joe] “She ain't going out til nearly dinner time!”

Both Eddie and Joe completely missed the fact that Clarrie was returning home, mainly to iron their shirts.

(at this point, I was very happy that the forecast for them getting away with their dastardly plan was not at all good).


Can one play games over the phone?

Now I’m certainly no technophobe.

I have an iPhone (4), a Wii (free with a previous phone), 3 computers in the house (2 for work), know how to Skype, and can still set a video recorder.

But, I don’t get why/how Jamie was playing against Marty over the phone.

Were they playing something online while calling each other? Or can you play a game on a phone while on a call?

Enlighten me, someone. Maybe it’s my age. I did turn a whopping 35 today …



Even Kathy is sick of herself nagging

I don’t know about you, but the shouting between Jamie and Kathy seems quite muted compared to previous bouts.

Kathy’s also just fed up of the whole thing.

[Kathy] “Sometimes I really get sick of saying the same things, just like you”

She’s on at Jamie to revise, which is absolutely fair enough. That’s exactly what parents are for.

But, as per, he’s being a sarcastic wee blighter, who is bluffing just to get Kathy to leave him alone. That revision plan doesn’t exist, does it Jamie …?


Lunch at Emma’s

(Ed’s as well, but he was running late so we didn’t get to hear him. Also sounded like his lasagne was going to spoil … though it was last night’s (always better) and Emma now cooks up big batches to see them through, which Clarrie highly approved of. Anyway, I digress …)

As it’s Lent, Clarrie can’t have any tomato, pickle or salad with her bread and cheese.

Poor Emma (and you’ll not often see me say that) feels rotten having to give Clarrie such a basic meal. Especially considering their rather lukewarm relationship, recently.

[Emma] “It don’t feel very hospitable, that’s all”

But, not to worry, as Clarrie appreciates the thought.

In case Emma was still paranoid, Clarrie then says she has to rush off.

[Clarrie] “It’s been lovely. And really nice of you to have me. I’ve just got this feeling about Joe and Eddie ..”

Uh-oh!


Emma doesn’t want no Fool’s baby

[Emma] “I don’t want it coming on April Fools day and I’m determined not to have it on George’s birthday”

Seemingly George is being quite clingy – probably hasn’t got over the jumpers being thrust into his (chest of) drawers.

I wonder.

It would give Will so much ammunition if Ed and Emma did have a baby born on April Fools. Even more so if they ruin George’s life by having it on his special day.

George being too clingy


Now that’s taking the chicken!

Not content with pushing Clarrie onto Emma (and vice versa) – not content with sneaking around Clarrie's back – not content with taking the Michael out of Lent … Eddie then more-or-less wishes Emma to have a problem with the baby so that Clarrie will have to stay, and give him and Joe a chance to gorge themselves.

[Eddie] “If Clarrie stays with her, it will give us a bit more time, won’t it?”

Such wickedness? Eddie!!!

They had no idea that Clarrie was on her way home, then, just as they’re sitting down to eat, the phone rings. And rings. And rings. And rings.

It’s Emma, who is a very patient caller, to say that Clarrie has left her glasses at hers.

[Joe] “Clarrie’s coming!”

At least Kathy and Jamie laughed together

[Kathy] “What on earth …? What are they doing??”

Kathy and Jamie can see all of Eddie and Joe’s shenanigans from their window (I think they actually live in the cottage next to them – semi-detached?).

They spot Eddie running to the van with plates of food, and Joe running to the shed with pots.

[Jamie] “The Grundy’s are the best thing about living in Ambridge. They are crazy”

As much as I berate Joe and Eddie for their behaviour, at least they gave us a few seconds respite from the war that is Kathy and Jamie.


Clarrie arrives home

[Clarrie] “Have you been cooking summit have you? You know. Cooking. Food. You put it in the oven raw. It comes out cooked.”

(Eddie swears his innocence. Laughing at the very idea of him cooking)

[Clarrie] “Yes you. Cooking. ha ha ha”

(those ‘ha ha ha’s were said in a very mocking tone)

Clarrie says she can most definitely smell chicken, not quite masked by her air freshener.

[Eddie] “Too much cheese. You’re hallucinating”

But – what’s this - a classic mistake!

In their haste to get the good grub, Eddie and Joe had forgotten to eat (or hide) the bread and cheese Clarrie had left out for them.

Huge mistake.

Even if only bread and cheese for lunch, Eddie and Joe would have been bound to eat it.

Unless they had something better.

So, treating them like bairns, Clarrie makes them sit down to their cheese and bread.

While their Sunday lunch goes cold in the van and the shed.

Serves them quite right.

The Archers Friday 25th March 2011: Elona and Brian

• Cliff is the right choice
• Jill has a mocha
• Jolene’s thinking about weddings
• Elizabeth has to get her batteries changed every five years
• All this talk of puddings …
• No-one has warned Elona?
• Jamie needs space
• The Bull’s Royal Wedding
• Just tell them!

Cliff is the right choice

Brian and Annabelle have chosen the Project Manager for the Mart – some bloke called Cliff who has ‘done’ a shopping centre.

Hmmm.

The only interest I have in the mart is Lilian. She manages to liven up even the dullest of Ambridge happenings!


Jill has a mocha

And also finds the seating in Jaxx to be to her liking.

[Jill] “Oh yes, this is comfortable. I’m never sure about leather furniture”

Jolene’s thinking about weddings

[Jolene] “Hello sailor!”

[Kenton] “What you thinking about”

[Jolene] “Weddings”

Steady!

Before we (and Kenton) have a heart attack – Jolene’s talking about the forthcoming Royal nuptials.

Actually … Kenton didn’t sound too upset to hear Jolene say weddings.

And, ‘what are you thinking about’ isn’t the words of a man taking it too slow …




Elizabeth has to get her batteries changed every five years

And she doesn’t sound too perturbed by it.

Progress indeed.

However, Jill is in a ponderous mood.

[Jill] “It’s made me step back and ask some really big questions … indulge me … is the effort of running Lower Loxley worth the risk to your health … it crossed my mind, you don’t have to run the place, you could walk away”

Course – Elizabeth isn’t interested.

Jill does make some sense – Lower Loxley is in Trust, so it wouldn’t be lost to a hotel chain.

[Elizabeth] “It’s not what Nigel would have wanted.”

[Jill] “I don’t think Nigel would have wanted you to suffer”

[Elizabeth] “It’s Freddy’s future”

(my word – does that sort of thinking still really exist? That it’s automatically the boy who inherits?!? What a difference between Elizabeth and David – Pip looks like the chap for Brookfield).

[Elizabeth] “It’s not just bricks and mortar … his vision … it is Nigel”

But, where Jill loses one argument, she gains a small victory. Elizabeth is thinking of getting someone in to help cope with the office.


All this talk of puddings …

… has gained a great result.

[Jill] “I’m making a treacle pudding for the children … and Lewis”

No-one has warned Elona?

Peggy introduces Brian to Elona as he arrives to collect her from seeing Jack.

Elona’s Jack’s favourite staff member. I wonder if Brian can also see her charms …

While Brian takes a business call, Peggy settles down to find out more about Elona.

She’s from Albania.

[Elona] “I was brought up on a farm … modest, you know … there was no so much land for us both to stay there, and I not interested”

Elona then worked in a bar, where she met hubby-to-be Darren (or Terry – I heard Darren, but the BBC reckons Terry – anyone else hazard a guess?), who is from Coventry. She married him, settled in the UK and has two girls.

Her husband is a builder, who often works away from home. For weeks on end at a time.

Hmmm.

Not sure how ‘pretty’ she is (according to Brian’s standards), but high-time he was making jiggy again with someone other than Jennifer. Just for a bit of light relief … for us all.


Jamie needs space

Kenton and Jolene decide to keep giving Jamie space until he gets used to them.

After all, he is still speaking to Fallon.

Lucky, lucky Fallon!


The Bull’s Royal Wedding

So far – we have the wedding shown on a big screen and union jack bunting round the outside.

The menu is proving a bit tricky.

Kenton reckoned Coronation Chicken. And Windsor soup.

“Thin brown soup, followed by cold curry”

So that was quickly kyboshed.

Jolene had a fair few good ideas – roast beef and horseradish sandwiches – lamb – treacle sponge …

[Jolene] “I do like a nice trifle, though. Or how about queen of puddings”

[Kenton] “Ah, but she’s not the queen. As yet.”

(or ever!)

But what was Jolene on about when she mentioned Rhys’ idea of Anglesey eggs for the veggies?

Prince William being stationed there is a bit of a tenuous link for a wedding celebration, even though they sound quite nice indeed (leeks, boiled eggs, cheesy mash).

Tell you what – Ambridge knows how to celebrate a Royal Occasion! Bunting, beef and boiled eggs – oh my!




Just tell them!

Kenton had popped in to see Jolene, but had to go with Brian and Peggy to sit down as they assumed he was at a loose end.

Just tell them, for goodness sake!

Brian may have chocked on his non-alcoholic beer and korma – Peggy may have dropped her tuna sandwich – but you’re two adults who can choose to be together regardless of what anyone else thinks.