- A burglary gene?
- Jazzer tells Tom to not be such a girl
- Scotland’s in the world, by the way
- But Wales isn’t a country
- Ruth’s run out of baked beans!
- Has anyone told Christine?
- Fit Pigs Make Great Sausages!
- George has a new truck
A burglary gene?
[Emma] “Supposing it’s genetic?”
[Ed] “You think there’s a burglary gene and he’s inherited it from Clive … I don’t think one gene would cover it. Robbery was the least of Clive’s crimes …”
Emma also asks if Ed was worried about what George has inherited from his side – but he reckons it’d be fine. What with Eddie’s voice, and Clarrie’s green fingers … but then he remembers that the Grundys don’t exactly have a perfect score:
[Ed] “Oh, you mean Alf?”
But Ed reckons Alf was just a petty criminal.
[Ed] “I’m nothing like Alf. I went off the rails in far more spectacular and interesting ways than he did … but I’m a reformed character saved by the love of a good woman”
And what about Eddie and his poaching?
[Ed] “His elder son is the most boringly upright gamekeeper in three counties, and he’s George’s dad … you should start worrying about Keira, her dad’s the dodgy one!”
And, as Ed reminds Emma, her mum Susan is most definitely the white sheep of the Horrobin clan.
(apart from the spell in prison …)
Jazzer tells Tom to not be such a girl
(not outright, but in as many words)
[Jazzer] “You’re no still crying into your beer, are ye? You think you’ve got problems, you want to try having Harry moping bout the place like a wet Hen …Told you, take me wae you next time you’re doing any negotiations, I’ll soon change his mind … I like a good punch up”
Aye right then Jazzer. Punching Doug Somerville will solve everything …
Scotland’s in the world, by the way
Seems Lynda expects great things from Jazzer after the talent show. She wants him in Christmas around the World.
But, Jazzer reckons while he likes singing, he can’t be bothered hanging round at the rehearsals.
Lynda assures it won't be like that this year – as it’s more like a talent show, rehearsals will just be individual folks doing their thing.
And:
[Lynda] “Christmas around the world includes Scotland”
[Jazzer] “It’s no very Glasga is it, mucking about on stage … na, I think once was enough”
But Wales isn’t a country
Lynda tells Jazzer that Rhys has offered to do his bit at Christmas around the World.
[Jazzer] “He’s no been making out that Wales is a separate country again is he?”
[Tom] “It is!”
[Lynda] “Actually Tom, Jazzer’s right, technically it's a principality”
[Jazzer] “There you are, caved into the English centuries ago”
Lynda reckons that the Welsh do sing very well.
[Jazzer] “Aye, if they’re over the side of another mountain and you cannae hear them!”
Seems Rhys is going to recite A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas (http://www.bfsmedia.com/MAS/Dylan/Christmas.html) – which means he’s not actually singing?
Either way – it’s not in Welsh. Which takes Lynda onto her not being that keen for Jim to read in Latin.
Jazzer concurs. He doesn’t see what the Romans have to do with Christmas – and anyhoo, any other poem would be as good as ol’ Rabbie Burns.
[Jazzer] “Rabbie Burns was all man”
Which Lynda agrees to – and snares Jazzer quite neatly into Christmas around the World to do a Burns.
Hmmm.
Is it just me – or how is this an international event? Feels a tad British to me …
Ruth ran out of baked beans!
Oh noooo!
Has anyone told Christine?
Seems she’s back, but no-one has told her about Clive’s return.
[David] “Mum and aunty Chris has it worse, they were the ones trapped in a burning building … it was her husband Clive was terrorising, mum and I were just collateral damage really”
Fit Pigs Make Great Sausages!
Is the slogan Brenda has created for Tom.
[Jazzer] “That’s rubbish. Fat pigs make great sausages!”
Tom is still heavily banking on the pig playing football to boost his brand.
Is it just me – or might some folks be put off because of the football?
Too cute for folks to then want to eat them?
George has a new truck
Bit where did it come from?
Ed and Emma are at first worried that it was given to him by Clive.
But no.
[George] “No, I burgalred it … it’s Jake’s”
George wanted to show Uncle Clive what a great burglar he is.
But he only ends up getting a bollocking from Ed and Emma.
I wonder if, unlike Uncle Clive, George will take heed and stop his naughtiness?
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